The Sum of All Our Parts
by OverMaster
Summary: Okay. Let's try this again. Yes, again. I'll try it until I finally get it right! Mega Crossover, based on Unequally Rational and Emotional, but, while still keeping Negima as its spine, will try giving the other franchises involved a more even treatment this time. Mature readers only. Each chapter will try adapting a single story, instead of packing several stories per chapter.
1. The Child Teacher is a Mage!

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

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><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

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><p><strong>The Child Teacher is a Mage!<strong>

* * *

><p>That evening, the ceremony proved to be just as majestic and awe-inspiring as Nekane remembered hers being, if not moreso. The country had recovered remarkably well during Negi and Anya's formative years, once Emperor Charles took over the government. Nekane didn't consider herself a politically inclined person, but she was fairly satisfied with the current state of social affairs. At least in her homeland. She was given to understand the situation was considerably more turbulent overseas, but Nekane had not been fond of reading about that, since she had taken on her surrogate mother duties.<p>

The five honor graduates for that year stood before the Magus of Merdiana, while a choir chanted constantly in subdued yet omnipresent tones, adding to the solemn atmosphere of the procedures. Nekane barely knew the other three, but she had met them once during one of Negi's all too rare vacation breaks, and none of them had left a bad impression on her. They did seem an eccentric bunch, all things considered, but couldn't that be said of most if not all geniuses?

"Rani Eight!" the old man in dark robes with the very long white beard called out, in a booming and strong voice fitting a much younger person, and a frail looking dark-skinned young girl with long, silky purplish hair and glasses stepped ahead to receive her diploma. Nekane had occasionally wondered what kind of family name 'Eight' was, but she'd come to the conclusion that foreign mages often had names that sounded very strange for the locals. So she didn't think much of it.

"Klarion Bleak!" the Magus called next. A soft but ominous _'BUM BUM BUM'_ sounded as the pale, black haired boy in question marched towards the man, politely accepting his title while his black cat pet purred and rubbed herself against his legs.

"Bridget Evans!" To this call of the Headmaster, a truly sorry-looking, petite girl with blond hair and blue eyes dragged her nervous steps over, to be handed her certificate of graduation, constantly throwing terrified looks towards the smirking Klarion and impassive Rani.

Nekane smiled fondly at the three, oblivious to how very few in the audience shared those feelings at all. Yes, she thought, those had to have been three very good friends for Negi and Anya! She was sure of it!

"Anya Cocolova!" the Headmaster said next, as Anya marched to meet her, her chest swelling up with pride and still managing to remain flat. The red-haired girl bowed graciously for the Magus, then twirled around on one feet and walked back. She and Klarion exchanged a discreet sticking out of the tongue at each other, as the boy's cat hissed at her.

Nekane felt herself soar with pride. Her child, her precious baby, had earned a title with honors. If only her father could see her now! And adding to that happiness, now it was the turn for -

"Negi Springfield!" the Magus commanded, and the youngest of the graduates came along, hurrying up the aisle with a bright smile.

"Yes, Sir!" The boy was so eager he had forgotten you were supposed to march in silence, not that anyone would hold that against him. Nekane's happiness was complete as he took his diploma, bathed by the silver moonlight coming down through the skylights of the Academy. Then everyone in the audience stood up and clapped for the graduates, who all bowed as one for their public. The ceremony had been flawless; no attacks of dementors, demons, trolls, hobgoblins, gremlins, leprechauns, goblins, witches, mutants, time travelers, Knightmare Frames, terrorists, the Juggernaut, slimes, vampires or werewolves for once. The random mummy assassin during the buffet had been dispatched easily with no losses. It should have clued Nekane in that the night wasn't going to end smoothly.

Anya received her assignment first, when the three of them had retired to enjoy some peace and quietness at a balcony. She gushed as the words appeared on her scroll, in elegant black Gothic letters. "A fortune teller at London!" she cried in glee. "This is great! Everyone makes it big in London! Oh God, I might even meet Vincent van Ghoul! Negiiii?" She smirked his way, sure there was no way he could have gotten anything nearly as cool and incredible as the job the forces of Destiny had intended for her. "What did you get?"

Nekane had been pleased for that twist as well. London was a bit further than she'd have liked, but she still could visit Anya a few times a year, until she met the conditions to become a Magistra Magi. Now, if only Negi got a similarly nice and easy job of his own.

"I think it's coming out now," the boy hummed as he intently looked at his scroll, where the letters were coming out slowly, one by one. "Let's see ... this is..." he began reading aloud, "Become ... a ... teacher ..."

"A teacher!" Anya laughed. "I guess there's some truth to that old saying! Those who can't, teach!"

Negi, meanwhile, had paled while reading the final few words on the scroll. "...in ...Japan..."

Anya's laughter died in her suddenly dry throat.

Nekane made a short choked sound, assimilated the full meaning of what she had just heard, and then made another sound of a non-human nature before falling unconscious on her back.

"AHHH! SISTER!" a shocked Negi cried out. That was the last thing Nekane could hear before falling into a very bizarre dream, which we won't bother to describe here. Or will we?

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><p>The old Headmaster sat alone in his impossibly huge office, pleasantly humming to himself after scurrying away from the frankly boring socializing that dominated the end of the graduation party. It was not like he disliked being in the company of youngsters, like most old wizards, mages and sorcerers after a few decades of cultivating a long beard and amassing a hefty collection of arcane tomes, but after dozens of graduation ceremonies, you had pretty much seen it all before and grown bored of it. Besides, there always was someone who was displeased with their choice of assignments, and discussing such things in public was so much of a faux pas. It was better to wait there, in private, until that person or persons (if it was a particularly bad year) stormed in there after a brief consultation with Donet, as was no doubt about to happen right -<p>

"MAGUS!" Anya Cocolova stormed in, followed by a mortified Negi who supported a dizzy and weeping Nekane. "Sir, we need a recount! I mean, a second opinion! What about a consultation with the spirits, Sir? That can be done, cannot it?"

The old man looked up calmly from the documents he had been analyzing to kill time while waiting. What a surprise, even if he didn't show it. He had been expecting Klarion -

_'BUM BUM BUM'_

How did the boy do that, anyway? Even the Magus was stumped.

Negi blinked. "Were you thinking about Klarion, Professor?" he asked, over the distant '_BUM BUM BUM'_ in the background.

Gently ignoring that question, the Magus addressed Anya instead. "Ah, Miss Cocolova. Sorry to cause you any further annoyance, but not only can I not do anything about the choice of the spirits of magic, but I would have expected for you to know that already."

"I'm not talking about mine, mine is awesome and incredible!" the pint sized redhead cried, pointing at Negi. "But his! Somehow, the spirits thought it would be a good idea to send Negi - Negi of all people - to teach in Area Eleven!"

"The correct term is 'Japan'," the old master calmly corrected, before gesturing towards the boy. "Might I see it, regardless, dear lad?"

"Of course, Professor!" he quickly complied, as Nekane sobbed.

The old man examined the scroll, nodded twice, then showed the words to Anya. "See? It says it so right here. Japan. Not Area Eleven. I think you'll agree the spirits know better than politics, won't you?"

"Th-That isn't the point!" Anya was boiling up now. "The point is, the Elevens, sorry, Japanese will eat Negi out! He's a doormat, a poor sap, a hapless wimp, a -"

"A-hem," Nekane managed to cough, displaying some disagreement even through her tears.

Anya flinched for a moment. "Well ... he's Negi! He isn't fit for that kind of task!"

"He is, otherwise it wouldn't have been assigned to him," the man replied as he gave Negi his diploma back.

"But -!" Anya protested.

"He's only a child!" Nekane said.

"As the Eleve- Japanese would say, it can't be helped," the Magus shrugged. "The spirits' decisions are final, and mere mortals such as we cannot contradict or disobey them. It hasn't been done during the entire history of this educational system, and I see no reason for it to happen now either."

"That is cruel!" Nekane complained. "To send him alone, across the ocean, to a foreign country with a different language and customs!"

"Doesn't he already know Japanese, not to mention another half a dozen foreign tongues?" the Dean curiously inquired.

"I do," Negi nodded.

"Can you eat raw fish with chopsticks while sleeping on the floor, huh huh?" Anya asked him. "Moron, you aren't fit to live there!"

"At least tell me I can go with him! He will need protection!" Nekane said, slamming both hands on the desk, leaning forward, and desperately pleading.

Unfortunately, her conservative black dress showed no cleavage, so the Magus was unfazed by her posture. "Sorry, but the customs are the Magister-to-be cannot be aided by anyone or anything but a familiar, and any Ministra they can recruit during their mission..."

"MINISTRA!" Anya's pigtails stood up. "Don't make it any worse, Sir!"

"Let him grow, please. He won't be a strong man as if his father if you keep doubting his capacities," the Magus requested, and that made Negi's eyebrows go up. "At his age, Nagi already was an accomplished fighter and -"

"And look where that lead him!" Nekane dared to interrupt him, at her wit's end. For him to end up like Uncle, that was the last thing she wished for him.

The Magus looked somewhat surprised, but not offended, she had actually dared to cut him short. That was so very unlike Nekane, but then again, a lioness looking after her cubs, and all of that. He sighed. "My apologies, but nothing can be done about it. If that's the suggested path, it is because it is the one that will work out the best for him. But I understand your concerns, so I will arrange for a friend of mine at Mahora Academy to arrange a safe position for Negi in his staff. Just the other day, we were chatting and he mentioned needing a good English teacher. That sounds right up your alley, Negi!"

The boy gulped, but then nodded firmly. "If it's what I need to do to follow Father's path, I'll gladly do it, Professor."

"Neeeeegiiiiii!" Anya gritted her teeth.

"Negi," Nekane sighed, in a deflated, defeated way. She could sway him far from anything, but from that self-destructive race along Nagi's path. Which was exactly what Nekane wanted to steer him away from the most. She had to think of something, and quickly, but what?

The old man and the boy were shaking hands now. "That's the spirit, my lad. You will like Konoe Konoemon. He was an old acquaintance of your father."

"Seriously?!" he said, even more excited now.

It was getting worse and worse, Nekane decided, stifling her tears. She had to do anything, no matter how drastic it seemed, to save her Negi from becoming another globe trotting vagabond running after insane adventures that would get him -

"Professor!" Another boy was storming in now, his face constricted in anger. "I demand that you to do something about this 'Librarian in Gotham City' nonsense!"

"Ah, Klarion," the Magus said. _('BUM BUM BUM.')_ "Please come closer and take a seat. The Springfields and Miss Cocolova were just leaving."

* * *

><p>Negi wandered, amazed, through the International Airport. Objectively, it was somewhat smaller and less awe inspiring than the London one, from an objective viewpoint, but for a very young foreigner, it held an unmatched sense of wonder and exotic thrill. He was picking up the chattering of the locals in their language rather well, much to his relief, since he knew theory knowledge and basic academic experience on a language didn't translate well into actual communication with the native speakers.<p>

He might have been acting actually a bit too eager and surprised, actually, because he had briefly forgotten, not only Nekane back at home, but the person who was supposed to pick him up there. Instead, he took on the sights while walking all around the Airport, even stopping to buy candy at all the stands he could find, with the true enthusiasm of a child. As he kept on marching with a lollipop stuck in his mouth, his organism well fueled on sugar, he reflected candy in this new country didn't taste as good as that of his homeland, but this was hardly a time to feel chauvinistic. Japan was amazing looking! So full of radiant life, some of which even didn't throw suspicious looks at him!

And then two girls in their late teens,who seemed the radiate the same feeling of his condisciples at home, so unlike that of the locals, passed by next to him, sort of shattering the effect. They smelled good, he faintly noticed as he got a good look at them, although not as good as those most men around him were giving them. Those men, however, just couldn't feel the same unusual (for those particular surroundings) aura of definite magical power both of those young woman possessed. The taller one had hair as blond as Nekane's, although neatly arranged into thick and elegant curls falling around her shoulders, and wore a long blue and white dress. The shorter one had a more discreet and humble figure, although by no means flat or childish, again, not that Negi analyzed that deeply at all. She wore wore an extremely short black skirt and tight red sweater, with extremely high black stockings, and her dark hair was collected into twin side tails. They carried heavy looking luggage, including bags within which Negi could made the shape of long sticks. That made him feel slightly uneasy for some reason.

"Well, it's as if I had never left at all," the mini skirted girl was musing aloud, in Japanese. "I can't believe they forced me to return after only a year. But I suppose they had to summon the best..."

The blond girl kept doing her best to march faster than her, and their quickly increasing competitive pace was starting to draw more attraction to them than their attractive looks. "Why, yes, but 'the best' is a relative term. Certainly, 'the best' this gloomy crushed country could produce wouldn't possibly amount to anything but you..." she said in English.

Negi, walking behind them with his curiosity piqued, managed to overhear the other girl's cold reply. "I think I'm still reeling from that flight, because my ears are ringing with an ugly sound and my stomach is turning. Oh, no, it's just your presence, Luvia. Can't you take your own way already if you really dislike me so much?" Again, this was said in Japanese.

The answer came in English, naturally. "That's my line! And it's the sick deer who must stray away from the mighty lion's path, not the other way around! Don't feel so overconfident just because you are back amongst people of your low category, Eleven!"

"How did you call me?!" the other girl challenged. "Why don't you say that in Japanese so everyone can understand you, cowardly cow!"

The girl apparently named Luvia stopped to face her. "Cowardly cow?! Why, you wheezing weasel!" And they started to struggle right at the middle of the hall, hand on hand, pushing madly against each other. "Forget the War! I'll save you further humiliation and crush you here and now!"

"You think too highly of yourself! Good for nothing prissy piece of-!"

Negi, alarmed, and seeing how things were really getting out of hand now, tried to rush ahead to stop them, but was stopped himself when he felt a hand on his shoulder, reaching over to him from behind. "Negi Springfield?" a voice asked. "Wow, you sure have grown up a lot."

He turned around, recognizing the voice. "Takamichi!"

That person smiled at him. "That's right. It's been a while, hasn't it? Professor Takamichi T. Takahata, at your service, Negi-sensei."

* * *

><p>The sun was bright but not unbearably hot. The wind was steady but not too strong. And the motion of the ocean - well, the river - was gentle, and the great bulk of the <em>Queen Beryl<em> cruiser was more than enough to absorb most of it. All in all, it had been a beautiful day. Well, Tokiha Mai thought so at least.

"You're okay?" she asked her younger brother a bit anxiously, holding a can of Soder Cola in each hand as she came over to sit down beside him on one of the deck's benches, facing the ship's starboard railing. (She was pretty sure that it was the starboard. Reasonably sure. Okay, she wasn't sure at all and was just guessing.) A few benches away, looking at the waters in a contemplative silence, sat a certain person named Negi Springfield, who, unbeknownst to both of them back then, would be rather important for her life in the near future.

"I'm fine," he assured her, a bit wearily. "I was a little queasy when the ship got underway, but it's passed." Takumi favored her with one of his increasingly rare smiles. "And I'm glad, because I wouldn't miss this for the world."

She shook her head, but smiled back. "We'd see the exact same view on the train, you know."

"It's not the same view," he disagreed, accepting his can and opening it. "The angle is different, the sun lights things in a completely different way... and the train moves so much faster than this ship is going. I get a whole 'nother look at the landscape this way." His eyes were distant as he spoke. From experience, she knew that he was seeing the painting, not its subject.

But then his eyes focused again, meeting her gaze, and he smiled a bit sheepishly. "Besides which, Uncle doesn't do things like this very often. We ought to enjoy it as much as possible, don't you think?"

Mai made a sound of polite agreement. Inwardly, though, she was frustrated by Takumi's lowered expectations. Most people, on hearing that an uncle had offered to send his nephew and niece on a cruise to celebrate their admission to a prestigious private school like Mahora, would probably have viewed it in the same way that Takumi did - as an incredibly generous act.

Mai... didn't. The word she would have used was 'extravagant'. Or maybe 'unnecessary'. As she'd said, they could have taken the train like normal people did. It would have been less expensive for their uncle to do it that way.

That wasn't her real objection, though. If she'd believed that her uncle was really trying to be generous, she'd have swallowed that sort of complaint. But deep down, she knew that the fancy cruise was another way for him to seem involved while doing his level best to stay out of the lives of his late brother's children.

The money that he would have saved by buying three train tickets instead of two cruises couldn't possibly have been equal to or greater than the amount that he'd lose by taking a day or so off work to be with them. But Mai understood perfectly well where they fit in the calculus of their uncle's life.

She let Takumi see her smiling, though. None of this was on her face. He was happy, and that was what mattered. She'd do anything to make sure that her little brother was happy.

"And there it is," he said, hushed. "The World Tree."

She turned to look where he was looking, and, despite herself, felt a bit of awe as the size of the enormous tree became clear, with buildings that had to be several stories tall dwarfed by it. And they were still some distance from Mahora. They wouldn't pull into port until tomorrow morning.

"They say it's visible from space," Takumi added in that same vaguely reverent tone.

_That's probably pushing it_, Mai thought, trying to look disinterested enough to look away, ignoring the overdressed Britannian child with a long wooden stick on his back, who had hastened to approach that part of the deck, where the view of the tree was better. Stupid and cruel Britannians, even left their own children to wander alone around the world.

But then something caught his eye to the sky above the tree.

But then something else drew her attention to the sky above the tree.

And there It was. The smile that she'd painted on at Takumi's enthusiasm melted away as she looked up at the strange red planet; painted in a strong hue no one could see but her. It was getting brighter.

With her late parents, she had often watched the nocturnal skies, back when Takumi was only a small child, a toddler. They would teach her of the planets and stars, and while that never bloomed into a love for astronomy, she nonetheless could easily recognize Mars at first sight.

What she didn't use to recognize was the intense aura of bright red surrounding Mars right now. Despite the popular idea of Mars as the 'Red Planet', it had never before looked that way, like an eye of blood staring down, to her.

Mai wasn't sure when she'd started seeing it that way. She'd taken the fact that nobody talked about that transformation to mean that it wasn't all that important, and only found out that she was the only one to see it a few months ago, when it first started to look so bright. Commenting on that change to Takumi had yielded a confused look on his face and the question "What are you talking about, Oneechan?"

His confusion had quickly turned to concern, and that concern was back on his face. "You're still seeing it, aren't you?"

"Mm-hm," she admitted, then quickly segued into an attempt to calm his worries. "It's no big deal. It's just there, you know? It's not like I'm hearing voices -"

_You have to look after your little brother from now on_.

"- more than I usually do," she added in a fit of honesty.

He still looked a bit upset, but didn't press the matter as he looked away, turning his gaze on the river. He blinked. "Oneechan," he asked hesitantly, pointing as he did. "Do you see that, too?"

She followed his pointing finger, and peered out at the river. What was he- wait, was that- could it be-

Mai got to her feet. For all that she knew, this was every bit as much of a cliché as shouting 'Stop the presses!' in a newspaper office, and likely to be as well-received, but nonetheless - "Man overboard!" she shouted at the top of her lungs, startling everyone on the deck, including the Britannian child and the tall, handsome man who now stood with him.

* * *

><p>The first thing she remembered was her Ani-ue's gentle face, smiling at her. Actually, once the smile and his black hair remained clearly visible in her memory, along the warm smells of the hillside. She didn't remember any particular words he ever might have told her, but she could remember his attitude towards her always was loving and kind.<p>

_"She's still alive! Oh my God, it's a miracle!"_

A miracle? What was a miracle, again? Grandfather had mentioned something about her Ani-ue performing, whatever that meant, miracles if she ever found him. It had to be a good thing, so if that people she couldn't see right now was saying there was a miracle, maybe she had found her Ani-ue already? Oh! What if that young man talking was her Ani-ue?

No, although she didn't remember his voice too well, it sure wasn't that nasal and high pitched.

_"Why won't she let go off this damn thing?!"_

Her small, thin but callous fingers tightened stubbornly around Miroku's handle. She wasn't fully conscious yet, but she worked on enough of conditioned level to refuse letting go off her treasure and fighting the efforts of those much bigger hands attempting to pry it away. Had she retained only a little more awareness, she would have leapt up to slice and dice them, most likely staining Rin's nice sweater and Negi's fine suit, and that would have been terrible.

It was a precious family heirloom, after all, and Grandfather, before falling asleep forever, had stressed she couldn't and shouldn't ever losing it before finding Ani-ue. She had to protect Ani-ue with it now she had finally mastered it. She even could open pickle jars with it now! Pickle jars, as anyone knows, being the ultimate tests of power and might for any warrior.

_In the Arctic Fortress of Solitude, a crestfallen Superman stared at the nicely lined jars of pickles arranged before him, ranging from his days at Smallville until the one he had just bought that morning, and tightened a fist impotently. There was a picture of a smiling Batman holding two open jars of pickles hanging right above his collection._

_S__omeday, Bruce, someday...__  
><em>  
>She felt so weak right now, though. Weaker than she had felt for a long, long, long time. She was cold and trembling, and for once, Miroku felt very heavy in her grasp, just as heavy as it should be feeling for the men trying to steal it away and commenting on how many tons it weighed. Mostly, she felt sleepy, so very sleepy, and like she was collapsing in the inside...<p>

For a moment, she thought she saw a very nice looking and pretty young pale girl in black with a funny symbol hanging from her neck floating over her. After that moment, the strange girl hummed, shook her head, and gently waved a finger at her before her cellphone rang and she vanished away, muttering something about some Thanos stalking her so much.

"Oh, for the love of God! It's only giving necessary CPR to a dying girl! What kind of men are you?!" a female was shouting.

"B-But we are no Lolicon!" one of the men was protesting.

"What's Lolicon?" a little boy asked.

"That's not important right now, Negi-sensei!" an older sounding man answered.

"Screw it! I'll do it myself!" the girl growled.

"But, are you...?"

"I'm an expert on First Aids and Emergency Drills, trained at the best camps for wilderness survival in Europe! N-Not like I have ever kissed many, I mean any, girls before, but, but whatever! I'm doing this only because I'm a nice civic minded person!"

_What a chatty loud girl_, Mikoto thought, inwardly musing on how much Grandfather would have disapproved of her. Grandfather valued discipline, feminity, modesty and silent obedience in any girl, as he had yelled and yelled to her that evening before falling on his back gasping for air and eventually falling asleep forever. Looking back at it, _maybe_ it had been a bad idea to run around in her underwear hunting and eating birds during his 78th birthday gala.

Then Mikoto had a pair of lips pressed down on hers. Well. That one was new. As were the lips injecting new life into her, pumping her back from the tunnel of radiant light with only minor brain damage no one would ever really notice anyway. It was like a down slide in an aquatic park, and just like when she had been in those, now, too, she also felt slightly nauseous now...

Right when Tohsaka Rin thought she had done it, that she had saved that hapless soul's life much to everyone's amazement over how incredible she was, she got the kind of confirmation she had not really wanted, when the drowning girl vomited copious amounts of salt water, seaweeds, a pink starfish in tiny shorts, and assorted stomach contents on her face.

Everyone else was too stunned to hear Kaleido Ruby's hysterical laughter coming from Rin's hand luggage, but Rin did hear. And even in the shameful heat of that moment, she swore terrible vengeance!

* * *

><p>"HAKASE!" The girl with the long brown hair yelled for the third time that morning. "Hakase, wake up!"<p>

Her roommate only replied with a vague snore and a wave of a hand, turning her back on her and rolling aside so she was facing the wall now.

The standing girl fumed angrily. Fed up with it, she roughly grabbed the prone teenager and lifted her slim body up easily, forcing her to sit up.

"You shouldn't do that..." Hakase Satomi yawned loudly, keeping her eyes still closed. "Serious studies have proved that abrupt interruptions of the sleep periods can cause harmful effects on—"

"Forget those studies! **Our **studies are what matters now!" Chisame barked at her, perching her hands on her own hips in a challenging manner. "Today's the first day of the new term, remember?"

Hakase mumbled with a nod of her head. Her eyes still remained closed.

"Then stand up already, dammit!" Piping mad, the taller girl grabbed the mad genius and dragged her out of the lower bunk of their bed, making her to moan in incoherent displeasure. "Or I swear to God I'll leave you behind!"

Satomi whined sleepily as Hasegawa Chisame made her to raise her arms up to pull her pajamas' shirt off, then tugged her pants down. By now, the black haired girl had gained some more self awareness, though, and she was able to finish stripping while her roommate began unbuttoning her own pajamas.

"Do I really need to go?" Hakase asked lazily. "First days are nothing but useless introductions. I'm sure it won't make any difference if I stay here finishing—"

By then, Chisame already was fully naked, grabbing her by a hand, and interrupting her by dragging her out of the room and into the small shower cubicle.

The sudden hot waterfall on her body shook Satomi further out of her stupor, but Hasegawa wouldn't take any chances. She started to rub the shampoo on her hated roommate's scalp herself, washing her hair down like a pro.

"You don't need to do that, either..." Hakase yawned again, then coughed as water poured into her mouth.

"Oh, yes, I do!" Chisame insisted. "Because if I don't, you'll walk out of here with shampoo still on your hair, wearing your skirt backwards, and without your tie on! I won't march all the way to the classroom with a walking disaster area!"

The taller female idly wondered what had she done to deserve that as she soaped the shorter girl's back down. She hoped she'd never have to bear a child, but if she ever did, she was sure she'd get tons of prior experience by living with Hakase. That nerd was as hopeless with everyday life as she was bright with academics.

There were a few good things about rooming with her, of course. She was a great help with homework and study sessions; Chisame's grades had gone up from somewhat below the average to quite above it since she had moved with her. She also was always quick to fix her computers in any case she needed it (even when some malcontent troll or ill-loser competitor sent her a virus even she couldn't detect nor neutralize in time), something Chisame was certainly, all in all, thankful for (and part of the reasons why she was tolerating having to wash her back off now).

But mostly, Hakase kept the peepers away. Not intentionally, of course; but Hasegawa had quickly learned it paid off to allow her to use the living room for anything she wanted. The mere sight of that horror, that maelstrom of half finished mechanical abominations and discarded clothes, eternally with the stench of oil and rust floating all over it, was enough to prevent anyone from stepping further inside.

So Chiu had her privacy.

In turn, Satomi had learned to leave the rest of the dorm for Chisame to handle. She was no domestic expert herself, but compared to Hakase, she was Martha Stewart. If Martha Stewart were a cosplaying hacker.

That was another good thing about Satomi; she simply had no interest on Chiu's affairs. She didn't mock them, but she didn't fawn over them either. The first time she had put her eyes on the webpage, she only gave it a brief disapproving glare before turning away without saying a word. And that was it. She had as much interest on criticizing or praising Chisame's cosplay habits as Chisame had on analyzing or disassembling her stupid gizmos.

And they both liked it that way. It was a happily unspoken topic between them.

Now they were fully clothed and eating breakfast. Chisame had cooked, of course; again, she was no master cook, but necessity had taught her. Her roommate was unable to cook anything that didn't smell like a broken radiator and looked even worse.

She was slow as hell to eat, too. Except when she was in a hurry to finish some darn machine. She still had a piece of bacon in her mouth by the time Chisame had enough and pulled her out with herself.

"Come on! We're going to be late!"

"Wait, wait... Eating too fast, not to mention running so shortly afterwards, is unhealthy, didn't you know? Specialists from Toudai University have determined that—"

Again she was dragged along, a huffing Chisame keeping her firmly grabbed by a hand. Hakase had to run after her to keep her pace. Barely.

Even so, they still were the last two to make it to the classroom, although luckily for them, the teacher had not arrived yet, either. Obviously, Hakase didn't mind one way or another; like always, the first thing she did was to rush over to Chachamaru, to start the routine questioning on her latest developments and incidents, quickly taking notes, all under the blond Evangeline's indolent glare.

Chisame, like every other day, sat down next to the ever quiet Ayase Yue, both girls merely exchanging a brief 'Good morning'.

The hacker actually almost liked Yue. At the very least, she was respectful and mindful of her privacy. True, there had to be something deeply wrong with someone who kept such low grades despite reading so much (and always displaying a stunning intellect when asked about anything), not to mention her despicable tastes in juice flavors, but that still was small potatoes compared to the issues of the rest of the class.

Yue's pal Saotome Haruna sat next to a window, frantically doodling obscene sketches on a notebook, biting her lower lip.

Hakase's friend Chao Lingshen and her portly partner in crime Yotsuba Satsuki were selling hot meat buns along the desks.

The redheaded Kagurazaka Asuna fumed madly in her seat, with a large group of girls gathered around her listening avidly. Although too steamed up to explain herself clearly, she seemed to be saying something about someone replacing Takahata-sensei for that year. So Takahata was leaving the class, Chisame thought. A pity. He actually was one of the most normal teachers around. She truly hoped they wouldn't get Itoshiki-sensei instead.

Shiina Sakurako and Akashi Yuuna were distracting the Class Rep while the tomboyish Kasuga Misora and the tiny Narutaki twins set a standard foolish trap at the door. Chisame sneered. It was to be expected from the childlike twins, but Kasuga definitely should have known better by now, after her latest few stays at detention.

Her errant thoughts were interrupted by Konoe Konoka's perky and happy voice.

"Hey, hey, Chisame-chan!"

She gave the Konoe heiress a neutral look. The black haired girl could be annoying at times, but looking at those huge and cheerful dark eyes, it was nearly impossible to feel angry at her.

"What do you want?"

"I'm reading everyone's future! You want to know what's waiting for you in this new period, don't you?" Konoka giggled, then grabbed Chisame's right hand without really waiting for a confirmation. Yet her attitude was never pushy or rude, but simply too eager and fast to avoid. Hasegawa couldn't do anything but wait as Konoka kept looking at her palm, carefully, long and hard, making slight humming sounds every so few seconds. Until she finally let the hand go and merrily exclaimed. "You're in luck today! This is the day you're going to meet your fated love!"

Chisame couldn't help but violently jerk back with a full facial blush, even as she heard some other girls laughing at her reaction. "D-Don't say such stupid things!"

"It's okay! She's just joking" Kakizaki Misa waved a hand around. "That's the very same thing she just told me."

"Me too," the short haired Izumi Ako added, with a gentler, softer short laugh. "Konoka-san is truly a kidder!"

Konoka made the most adorable pouting face. "I'm not kidding! My predictions don't ever fail!" Instantly, she perked up again, looking at one of the seats at the back rows. "Ne, ne, Setchan! Don't you want to know your destiny in love, too?"

The thin and pale girl she was addressing looked aside with an indifferent expression.

"Not interested," she icily said.

Konoka's face fell down for a moment, but then she, along with most of the others, was startled by the sounds of nervous chattering right outside their door.

"It's them!" Misora grinned, with an evil spark in her eyes. Rushing back to her chair, she kept her vision fully focused on the door, like a hawk eyeing a mouse.

The door started being pushed open from the outside.

A small head peeked in carefully, looking inside with large chocolate eyes not too unlike those of a deer. It looked like, of all things, a boy. A child. Tiny bifocal glasses were on the bridge of his diminutive nose, and his dark brown hair seemed to have been combed as well as possible, only to fail at avoiding conveying its own unruliness.

He stared at them, and all of them stared back, suddenly gripped by an uneasy silence.

Then the eraser set on top of the door fell down towards his head.

It all happened in the blink of an eye, but Chisame still could notice it.

The boy had tensed up in alarm, and then, for some reason, the eraser stopped in midair for half a second. Only to reassume its fall just another split second later, and only after the kid stared up at it with a face of... guilt, actually. As if he had just done something he shouldn't have.

It wasn't until then that the eraser hit his head down, showering him with chalk dust.

But that wasn't the end of it, oh no. Misora was a craftswoman, a master of her technique. A simple eraser would never suffice. So, as the boy coughed, stumbling inside, his right foot clashed against a tightly tensed wire. Naturally, he fell down on his face, just as a bucket full of water fell onto his head, and several arrows with suction cup points were shot from the walls and all over his body.

Wile E. Coyote would have clapped.

But 2-A, even Misora herself, had gulped in horror as a single woman. All of them but Evangeline and Zazie Rainyday, always silent, always stonefaced.

The boy just laid there, pitifully, as soft sobs could be heard from inside the bucket. Behind him, right at the doorway, Minamoto Shizuna stared, wide eyed, until she focused her view narrowly into her usual main suspect.

"Kasuga-san..." the adult woman said.

Misora looked aside nervously. "I didn't do it, no one saw me doing it, you can't prove anything!"

The Class Rep already was crouched down at the boy's side, carefully removing the bucket from his head, lovingly drying his tears with her soft and skilled fingers. "Oh dear! I'm so very sorry! It's my fault! I should have checked!"

"Sorry, sorry!" Narutaki Fumika hyperventilated. "We thought you'd be our new teacher!"

"It's only a child..." Sakaki Makie once again showed her talent for the obvious.

"No way! He must be a circus midget!" Narutaki Fuuka gasped.

_Well, you should know a few things on the matter_, Chisame thought cynically.

"Actually, he indeed is your new teacher" Shizuna replied, helping him to stand up. "Negi-sensei, please introduce yourself."

"Y-Yes!" wiping his face as clean and dry as he could with a fine tissue the Class Rep had offered him, the child faced his dazzled audience and cleared his throat. "G-Good morning, everyone! Pleased to meet you! My name is Negi Springfield, and starting today, I'll teach you mag— I mean, English, as your homeroom teacher! Please, let's all do our best here!"

For a moment, you could have heard a needle falling at the classroom. All the girls seemed to have turned into salt statues.

That was until Haruna sprang up with a high pitched squeal.

"HE'S SO CUTE!"

That was the go sign for more than half of the class to charge forward and pounce onto him, tackling him against the teacher's desk and burying him into a cascade of hugging bodies. Even the normally reserved and stoic Ookuchi Akira had joined them, with a blush running over her cheeks.

Still firmly planted at her chair, Chisame took a look at the few others left behind. Yue shrugged her shoulders indifferently, then pulled one of her infernal juice boxes out and took a first sip from it.

Hakase just stared vacantly at the front of the room, as if her brain was in a rebooting. Her face betrayed no emotion at all, and for once, Hasegawa found her absolutely impossible to read.

Evangeline seemed to scowl a little, but then again, that was her overall attitude towards everything.

Chachamaru took readings of the scene through her now slightly glowing green eyes, and you almost could hear the little beepings and boopings going on inside of her head.

Setsuna was simply looking out a window.

Zazie had pulled a few balls out of her handbag and was now juggling them, oblivious to everything around herself. For the first time in her life, Chisame envied her.

The hacker made her way to the vaguely amused Shizuna. "Sensei" she humorlessly told her. "This is a joke, right?"

"I'm afraid not" Shizuna said. Chisame hated that tone in her voice. It was the very same one she had used when she had stuck her with Hakase little more than twelve months ago.

"How old are you?" the scarlet-haired Asakura Kazumi had swiftly reentered her class reporter mode, fishing a microphone out of her backpack and pushing it against the kid's mouth.

"Ehhh!" he blinked. "Oh, well, I'm ten!"

"Where are you from?" Murakami Natsumi asked. "You sound like a foreigner."

"I... I come from the mountains of Wales..." he blabbered nervously.

"That's near Spain, right?" Makie wanted to know.

"Where do you live now?" Kugimiya Madoka spoke next.

"I... It hasn't been decided yet..."

Right then, however, a taller, stronger girl pushed Madoka aside and grabbed the boy his shirt, pulling him face to face with herself. He was looking at a mismatched set of a blue eye and a green one now. Asuna.

"You, brat!" she barked. "What was that thing you just did with the eraser?"

"... What?" he yelped.

"Don't play the fool!" she shot back. "We all saw it, didn't we? No matter how you look at it, it's simply impossible!"

Chisame found herself nodding at it. For once, Asuna was right. She had noticed it too. Hadn't the others...? They couldn't not notice it, right? But looking at Satomi's clueless face, it was painfully clear that yes, some of them had missed the detail.

"It must have been a freak breeze" Misa piped in.

"INSIDE OF A BUILDING?" Asuna noted.

"It'd get in through a window" Naba Chizuru opined.

"NOT MOVING ANYTHING BUT AN ERASER?" Asuna claimed.

"Asuna-san, please!" the blonde Class Rep raised her voice, slamming a hand down on the desk a few times. "Let our teacher go right now!"

The redhead growled at her. "I'd be very happy to let him go for good, yes!".

The elegant, refinated class president huffed at her. "As expected from a violent maniacal ape like you. You show no respect neither for authority, nor for the defenseless".

A vein popped into Asuna's forehead. "Maniacal... ape...?"

"You have not evolved beyond that" the Iincho was unfazed. "Clearly, the young gentleman you are manhandling is a prodigy of his field. We all should feel honored to have him here. Perhaps he could achieve the miracle of teaching you anything other than the alphabet".

Asuna let the child go to face her natural nemesis. "What's with you now, being so sure about this twerp?"

"Hm... It's painfully obvious for anyone with a few working brain cells" the blonde casually brushed a lock of golden hair off her own forehead. "Mahora Academy only employs the best of the best, and for some foreign youngster to be working here, he must be nothing but the pinnacle of precocious experience".

Asuna chuckled knowingly. "Yeah, right, I'd bet you want to have some precocious experience with him."

The Class Rep narrowed her eyes, as if she had felt something biting her. "What do you mean with that?"

Asuna said only one word. "Shotacon."

That had done it.

"WHAT?" the refinated girl stopped being so refinated as she jumped straight for Asuna. "Take that back, you... you... graverobber! It's not my fault you can't realize your dreams of hitting on every elder man that walks your way!"

They started struggling with each other, as the girls around them cheered on wildly, and Shizuna and the child made their best to keep them apart from tearing themselves into pieces.

"AT LEAST I LIKE THEM OF LEGAL AGE!"

"YES, IT'D WORK FINE IF **YOU **WERE OF LEGAL AGE TOO! SHAMELESS LOLITA!"

"I'LL GET OLDER, BUT YOU'LL NEVER GET AS YOUNG AS THE BABIES YOU HARASS!"

Chisame buried her face into her hands. Even Itoshiki-sensei would have been better than that.

* * *

><p>The fact Chisame had learned how to cook due to the circumstances of her life with Hakase still didn't mean she liked to do it. So, whenever they had enough money, they would go have dinner at the Chao Bao Zi. The small restaurant's owner, their class' own Chao Lingshen, was Satomi's closest research colleague, so they always got a special discount. And there was no point on denying the food was delicious.<p>

So, that evening, they had ended up there as well. Chisame wasn't in the mood to cook at all. They sat together eating their bowls of ramen at the counter bar, while Chachamaru and Yotsuba served the tables and Chao herself counted the night's income at the register box.

"So, what do you think about the new teacher, neh?" the fair skinned Chinese girl finally asked them.

"I think it's a mistake," Chisame spoke coldly. "What can a freaking child teach us?"

"Oh, I don't know. His first class today was rather good and to the point-yo..." Chao mused quietly. "As soon as he finally could separate Asuna and the Iinchou..."

"It's all the same for me," Hakase answered with a very short shrugging of her narrow shoulders. "In any case, I've never met any teacher who knew more than me, child or adult."

From the mouth of anyone else, it'd have sounded as a hideous, megalomaniacal boast, but somehow, Hakase made it to sound simply like a matter of fact devoid of any emotion. Mainly because it was completely true.

Chao hummed to herself as she closed the register. Something was wrong with her, Chisame suspected. She seemed unusually introspective and calmed after joking with the others about Negi, and since the day's class had finished. Not like Chisame cared, of course.

Of course.

Later, as she and Satomi walked back to their dorm, she, for once, felt tempted to ask the scientist a personal question.

"Hakase?"

"Yes?"

"Didn't you notice anything strange with Lingshen today?"

"What? Huh, no. I don't think so. Why do you ask?"

"It's nothing. Forget it."

"Oh, sure thing."

She had sounded almost too happy to say that. And it was true. If there was something Hakase could be trusted on, that was on her forgetting anything not related to science.

However, Chisame's temporal peace of mind was soon shattered once more while approaching their dorm. There was someone inside, since there was light coming out of one of their windows. But how...? Chisame ran fearfully to the door, dreading the end of her golden Internet empire. If anyone had learned her secret, she would never live it down. She'd lose the perfect balance she had fought so hard to achieve!

She was mildly relieved to see it was Shizuna-sensei inside, and not any of her classmates. Then her spirits sunk back down when she saw him with the woman, both of them sitting at the couch, watching TV.

The brat.

"My, my, you two sure took a long time to arrive!" Shizuna greeted the girls. "Sorry for intruding, but we waited outside for too long, so I decided to use the master key."

"Good evening," Negi bowed respectfully.

Chisame hoped she wasn't as pale with shock as she felt. If only she could look as unaffected as Hakase was... "Wh-Why did you two 'need' to get in here?"

"Well, you will see, Dean Konoe gave a special instruction for Negi-sensei to move here until we can find a permanent place for him," Shizuna informed.

"I'm sorry to be a bother" the boy apologized.

"What?" Chisame snapped. "He's supposed to be a teacher, isn't he? Why can't he stay with any other teacher?"

"Most of us either live too far, or have children of their own, or simply have far too small living quarters," the beautiful blonde explained patiently. "He can't live alone, and your other classmates are too... enthusiastic or too... complex for a child to be trusted to them."

Chisame made a face. How desperate they had to be for the two of them to be their best hope? In any instance, it was logical to guess the old man wouldn't dump that load on his beloved granddaughter. Damn favoritisms.

Satomi didn't look too shaken by the news, but still seemed wary in her own way. "I don't think I could carry my experiments with full freedom if I have him running around," she informed dutifully.

"You shouldn't be carrying experiments here in the first place," the adult reminded her.

Hakase sighed. "It always has to be that loophole, doesn't it?"

Negi lowered his gaze to the big travel bag lying at his feet, looking humble and saddened.

"In any case, it's a direct command from the Headmaster himself," Shizuna insisted. "There's no use on trying to refuse it."

"But, if there's no place for me—" Negi started.

"There it is," Minamoto stated conclusively.

Chisame grumbled. At the very least, all her Chiu wardrobe and related items were safely stocked into her special closet, away from indiscreet eyes for the moment. "How long will that take?" she wanted to know.

"As long as a better arrangement can be found," the woman said.

In Mahora Academy burocratic terms, that meant, 'It's intended to be permanent, so you'd better shut up and take it', as Chisame knew from experience. It was the same reply she got back when she first attempted to file a petition to be transferred to a solo room all those months ago.

Both girls looked at each other's eyes, and found no clear answer, but still, Chisame decided not to delay the unavoidable anymore. "Okay," she gave a sigh. "He can stay. For now."

The child beamed up a huge, cheerful smile, as bright as the Sun, hated bane of any reclusive hacker. "Thank you very much!" he chirped joyfully.

Good Lord, he was so sickeningly sweet. Was he for real? Chisame already had her strong doubts.

But mostly, she was terrified about what new roommate would they give her the **NEXT** year.

* * *

><p>It was, without a shadow of doubt, Hasegawa Chisame's fondest dream.<p>

She sat at the head of Class 2-A, on a golden, richly decorated throne, wearing a gorgeous pink dress, like a fairy tale princess. Hakase and the brat were on their hands and knees before her, both of them serving as stools for each one of her feet. The rest of the class paid tribute knelt down across the classroom.

"I'm sorry for being such a stuck-up Shotacon!" Ayaka said.

"I'm sorry for being so stupid!" Makie said.

"I'm sorry for being so arrogant despite being nothing but a midget with awful grades!" Evangeline sobbed pitifully.

"I'm sorry for being so nosy!" Kazumi said.

"I'm sorry for being a robot!" Chachamaru said.

"I'm sorry for being so freakishly tall and old-looking!" the deeply tanned Tatsumiya Mana added.

"WE'RE ALL SORRY FOR BEING SO STRANGE!" they all chorused, hailing her. "WE'LL BECOME A NORMAL CLASS FOR YOU, CHIU-SAMA!"

The Queen of The Internet laughed and laughed. Relaxing back on her throne, she felt a soft warm breeze caressing her face lovingly.

Chisame stirred on her bed as Negi's soft breath blew into her face at short intervals, the boy making the shortest, cutest tiny snores you could ever imagine. His lips seemed to look for something, pouting up for a kiss.

"Sis..." he whispered longingly.

Chisame's eyes opened themselves very slowly. Which one of the peasant freaks had just dared to name her as her sister? She would teach her, she would...

She would quickly panic at seeing a pouting small mouth hovering scarce inches away from her own! Aiming for a full-on kiss on the lips!

Her scream of terror shook the whole room down to its foundations.

At the dorm room next door, Miyazaki Nodoka woke up with a start. Then she was afraid since everything was pitch black despite her eyes being open now. Then she remembered to brush the thick long bangs of dark hair from her face, and she sighed with relief as she found herself staring at the ceiling.

"I wonder what was that?" Yue's quiet voice came from the lower bunk.

"It... It sounded like Hasegawa-san..." Nodoka's beautiful, shy voice cracked nervously. "Maybe we should—"

She could hear Yue rolling on her side below her, huffing sleepily. "For Chisame? No thanks."

Nodoka sighed.

Back at the next room, Satomi yawned as she finally could wake up enough to see Chisame, red faced, standing next to the bed, with an ashamed Negi withstanding the weight of her verbal onslaught.

"What the hell were you trying to do?" she screamed.

"I... I'm sorry..." he whimpered. "I'm used to sleep with my sister, and I sleepwalk sometimes..."

"What kind of sleepwalker goes up a bunk when he can stay below?" she demanded to know. "Why didn't you sneak into Hakase's bed?"

Numbly, Hakase's rational brain wondered if that statement should offend her in some form. Her reptilian brain, however, just told it to shut up and go back to sleep. The rational brain stomped its primitive counterpart down, all the while rationalizing Hasegawa's question did have some logical sense and it shouldn't be taken as any sort of offense. Hakase herself was just too tired to pay attention to either brain for once.

"You... You smelled more like my sister..." he was defending himself.

"Mmm?" Satomi casually sniffed the air. "Sensei, since you bring on the topic of smell, and hoping you don't perceive my words on this matter as any kind of personal insult regarding your personal presentation... Might I inquire if you are, as I suspect, the source of this sudden peculiar nefarious fragrance?"

Chisame scowled, then sniffed at him, closely, making him to sweat bullets. "She's right! You stink like a corpse! Since when haven't you showered?"

"Th-That's... that's quite a rude question to ask from anyone, Hasegawa-san!" the boy protested. "As your teacher, I must object on such manners!"

"Spoken by the perverted brat who sneaks into girls' beds!" Chisame retorted. "Answer my question, will you?"

He shrank down, unable to speak.

Hakase sighed, then sat upright on her bed's edge and motioned for him to get closer. "Come here. You can confess the truth to me. I will not, under any circumstances, lose my emotional control" she promised.

He trusted her enough to obey her, whispering something into her right ear.

"Ah. I see," she nodded calmly. "That's actually quite unhygienic. You could acquire several skin diseases, and even parasitic infections, that way. No, I don't quite believe the use of colognes will solve the problem. No, not even Old Spice. Chisame," she called over. "He claims suffering from an acute fear of baths. Do you think it could be labeled as hydrophobia?"

A vein bulged up on Chisame's forehead. "I understand..."

Silently, without exploding or lashing out again, she gently pushed Negi out of the bedroom, then closed the door behind him. The boy breathed easier, believing the worst had passed by. The poor fool.

One moment later, Chisame opened the door again, now clad in nothing but a navy blue school swimsuit. And carrying a large basket full with bath products and utensils in a hand.

"Oh, no!" he gasped aloud.

"Oh, yes!" she grabbed him and pulled him back inside. "Okay, take those pants off! The shirt, too! Didn't you want to sleep with your Big Sis, perverted brat? And kiss her? Well, consider yourself lucky! Your Big Sis is going to give you a bath!"

"Oh, no, no...!" he cried. "Mercy...!"

Satomi gave them a still sleepy look. "Our shower is far too small for someone who struggles around that much. Could I suggest taking him to the public bath instead?"

"And giving him that much open space to run away? I don't think so!" Chisame was applying her best attempt at a wrestling supplex on him while stripping him of his underwear. "And besides, only an idiot would take him to a place where there are bound to be several naked girls!"

"I... I... I'm your teacher! You can't do this to me!"

Ignoring his desperate pleas, the brown haired teen tossed him into the shower cubicle, followed him in, and closed the door from the inside.

"HAKASE-SAAAAANNN! PLEASE HELP MEEEE!" he bawled, right before the sounds of running water suffocated his voice.

Satomi looked around for her glasses, only to realize she had slept with them on. She yawned, got up, and went to use the toilet.

"NOOOOO! THE SHAMPOO GETS ON MY EYES...!" he screamed. "IT BURNSSSS USSSS! IT BURNSSSS USSSSS!"

"IT WOULDN'T GET INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU STOPPED MOVING SO MUCH!" Chisame's voice howled.

Humming the Futurama theme, Satomi washed her hands off and waddled her not so graceful way to the kitchen.

"DON'T TOUCH ME DOWN THERE!" he was begging now. "NO! NO! NOOOO!"

"I DON'T LIKE IT ANY MORE THAN YOU DO!" Hasegawa assured him.

At the next apartment, Nodoka sweated profusely as she served Yue her breakfast. Her eyes were larger than ever behind her concealing bangs of hair.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say they have trusted them with Negi-sensei's care" Ayase commented, pouring herself a big glass of raspberry juice.

Nodoka just nodded uneasily.

Hakase finished eating her suspicious looking just made sandwiches, making sure to leave a few for her roommates before heading for the dresser. She was sure they'd like the chocolate and mustard combination as much as she did. For now, however, she had more important things to think about than Sensei's insistent bangings on the door, begging for a rescue.

Things like... SCIENCE! The Cyberdine Labs exposition would come today at the Robotics Club, and she wouldn't miss it for anything! So enthusiast she was about it she forgot where she had put her tie last night as she quickly fixed her shirt, but even then, those were minor details. Just like her socks. Eh, she always lost one of each pair, but she was reasonably sure no one would notice if she wore mismatched ones today.

"I'll go on ahead!" Hakase announced as she hopped out of the dresser still tying her shoes, failing to notice her skirt was backwards. "Hurry up in there or you'll get tardy!"

"DON'T GRAB ME THERE!" Chisame's voice had just shrieked.

"S-S-SORRY! THE SHAMPOO HAS LEFT ME BLIND!"

With a contented smile for the possibilities of the newborn day, Hakase ran out towards the school.

* * *

><p>Ayaka had chewed Satomi down when she put foot on the classroom, scolding her for her unforgivable transgressions to the dress code. The genius had nodded and muttered the token absent excuses while adjusting Chachamaru's left elbow, which needed maintenance that morning for some reason Evangeline had refused to explain.<p>

Then Iinchou had also chewed Chisame out when she finally arrived with Negi in tow, blaming her for not taking care of Hakase's appearance. Hasegawa's protests about herself not being the babysitter for anyone of her own age fell into deaf ears until the teacher had asked for silence for the class to start. Now that had silenced the classy blonde in the spot. For which, truth be told, Chisame had felt mildly grateful.

The day's lesson had gone rather well compared to that of the day before, at least until poor Asuna had been called to read some lines of a short English text. After struggling to only blurt out a savage butchering of the original paragraph, Iinchou had mocked her lack of talents in a not-subtle-enough way to quickly offend the redhead, and then the fight was on again, despite Negi's loudest protests for them to stop.

Chisame shook her head at the random lunacy surrounding her. Would every day be like that from there on? Maybe she should ask for a transfer... that Tomobiki place Kazumi had rumored about wasn't sounding that bad now...

Mercifully, the ending bell had sounded then, saving Sensei from being knocked out between both students. Negi had quickly blurted a few homework items for the next session, struggling to be heard over the happy chattering of the students leaving and the still heated retorts between Asuna and her hated rival; only his roommates, Chao, and the four girls he had listed on his class roster as the Library Exploration Club seemed to be taking notes at that point.

Out of those four, the one named Konoka, the Dean's granddaughter herself, had finally managed to placate Asuna enough to carry her out and away. That had left Ayaka behind, snapping back to reality and noticing she had just given quite another bad show in front of her admired Sensei. She melted into apologizes to him, and Chisame almost would have allowed it to go and go just for the novelty of seeing Iinchou groveling to anyone, which somehow gave her a strange sense of satisfaction. But alas, she had to leave; Chiu's time was almost there, and tempting as it was to leave the brat behind, Hakase was already leaving for her stupid Club, and babysitting duty fell heavily upon her.

"Come on, Sensei. I'm leaving."

"Y-Yes! It's all okay, Iinchou-san. See you tomorrow!" he happily waved to the blonde as he ran after the pock-marked girl. Ayaka simply stood there, blinking in sudden disbelief. What had she just saw? Why did that geeky simpleton seem to have such a sweet and gentle prince under her thumb like that?

As if guessing her unspoken question, Yue spoke in a casual monotone. "I think Negi-sensei is staying with them."

"What?" the heiress turned her blue, fearful eyes to her. "That can't be true!"

"We heard his voice coming out of their room this morning," Yue explained, as evenly as a human being can act. Behind her, Nodoka blushed again and nodded.

Ayaka made a scowl of disgust. "That is insane! What kind of future can wait for Negi-sensei, left with those two antisocial outcasts? They will stun his emotional growth! It'll be a tragedy if such a brilliant mind is damaged in his formative stages!"

From further behind Nodoka and Yue, a low, throaty and sinister chuckle made both of them to waver in sudden fear. A tall, looming figure stood up, nearly towering over them, fixing the evil glare of her shiny eyes behind even shinier glasses on Ayaka. A sly perverse grin curved itself upon the busty bespectacled girl's lips.

"Hoo hoo hoo!" she cackled flamboyantly. "We are very jealous, aren't we, Iinchou?"

Ayaka huffed with just the slightest blush. "Don't mistake my intentions with your twisted appetites, Saotome-san! My interest on Negi-sensei's wellbeing is purely selfless!"

"Really?" Saotome Haruna pushed her glasses up her nose. "Well, that's a relief to know. Less competition, I guess..."

"Haruna" Yue warned in a low voice.

"Because let's face it, Chisame-chan and the Professor aren't a competition for all this" Haruna proudly patted herself on the broad hips, giggling as she undulated them, making poor Nodoka to blush once more.

"Haruna!" Yue's voice went up a bit. "That's gross even for you!"

After a brief moment of hesitation, Nodoka nodded her agreement.

"Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" Haruna laughed. "You girls are just too easy to tease!"

Ayaka growled a very unladylike, although thankfully incoherent, reply, grabbed her backpack and stomped her way out.

"You are too much" Yue told her tall friend.

Haruna shrugged. "Iinchou needs to grow up. She may act mature, but at the end she's just as bad as Asuna, in her own way."

"And you are worse than them both," Yue replied.

"If you say so," Haruna smiled placidly, lowering her face to look straight at hers. "Now, what's that I hear about Sensei living next to you? What did you hear? Something juicy?"

Yue's poker face remained. "Nothing important."

"Really?" Haruna noted. "Because Nodoka's face just went even redder."

For a second, Yue inwardly cursed her best friend's inability to keep her emotions down. Honestly, it was as if you could read her thoughts like a book.

* * *

><p>The keys turned around inside of the doorlock, and the door was pushed open, Chisame walking in quietly with Negi following closely behind.<p>

"I'll be spending some time alone at my room," she announced, heading straight for the bedroom without looking back. "In the meanwhile, you can watch TV, or do whatever you want as long as you don't peek or walk in on me for the next two hours. Otherwise, you'll regret it," she said, very seriously.

"Oh?" he blinked while taking his coat off, hanging it up next to that strange and long wooden staff he carried around for some reason Chisame prefered not to think about. Then he stiffened up, struck by concern. "Hasegawa-san! Don't tell me you... you... you hide in there to smoke!"

She stopped abruptly, then gave him a killer back glare. "Do you think I'm some kind of delinquent?"

"... To drink, then? That'd be even worse," he warned.

"I'M NOT AN ALCOHOLIC, EITHER!"

"Then why is that?" he asked, genuinely confused.

"Th-That's a private thing all of us girls need! Private time! Yes, that's it!" she rushed the words out.

Negi stared at her with wide, surprised eyes. His sister often needed 'private time', too, but never lasting as much as two hours. Perhaps Japanese girls were different in that regard; he'd have to ask Takamichi as politely as he could about it, to avoid further blunders in the future.

"Got it, then? Two hours!" the girl repeated. "See you then!" Without waiting for his confirmation, she closed the door behind herself.

Negi cringed, now alone at the living room, wishing at least Hakase could be in there with him. But she had a club meeting, didn't she? She wouldn't be back before Hasegawa-san finished.

The boy pulled his class roster booklet out. He took a look at Chisame's profile. Under her unsmiling, almost frowning face, it was written, 'Student Number 25-Hasegawa Chisame. No Club Activities. Good with Computers.'

Computers, huh? Negi didn't know anything about computers, other than the basics. But he still could say the two of those he had seen at the girls' bedroom were very expensive and most likely very powerful as well.

It sounded like Hasegawa-san was pulling something out of her closet in there. He heard the sounds of large objects being dragged around, as well as the rustling of clothes. Odd, what did that have to do with using a computer? Curious like any boy of his age, he approached the door with as much stealth as he could and put an ear on it; she never had said anything about not listening.

Then, just as soon, he pulled his head back, doubting. Wasn't that just as bad? A gentleman shouldn't do that; what would his sister think? And even so, didn't a teacher need to know everything about his students, to help them with their problems? What if Hasegawa-san was doing something bad in there? What if...

He shook his head. No, he shouldn't distrust her! She was his student, his roommate, and even his new tutor figure, in a way! She deserved his trust!

Walking away from the door, he moaned, sitting before the TV, turning it on only to get quickly bored. He didn't have much of an use for TV either. He barely ever watched it at all at the village. He always would prefer to practice, or to play around outside, with Anya...

Anya...

He looked out through the window, and he almost could see Anya running across the wide Mahora campus, laughing happily to herself. He missed her already, her confident laughter, and her energetic attitude. Anya, always so full of life.

He took another quick glare towards the door to the bedroom. Anya and Hasegawa-san were similar in temper and their no-nonsense mindsets, but where Anya was quick to voice her mind, Hasegawa-san seemed so distant, always hiding something. Why didn't she belong to any clubs? Judging from what he had seen of her at school, she didn't have any friends but maybe Hakase-san. He shuddered at the idea of such a lonely life.

Yet, what could he do about it? He had to do something, but what?

He remembered Takamichi. He had been her homeroom teacher last year, so he would know her well enough. Maybe his advice would be just the thing he needed!

Brightening up, the boy took his coat and staff back and walked outside, closing the dorm's room before lively stepping towards... huh... well, he'd go back to Shizuna-sensei's office first. She'd point him to Takamichi's office, no doubt.

Almost all students were at their clubs at that hour. The main building was eerily quiet and silent as he approached it. No one in sight, but that pale girl hiding behind a column, looking at him with docile, yet bright reddish eyes. How strange, was she white haired?

He felt an icy shiver running up his spine. That girl...

He looked again into the girl's direction, only to find she was gone all of a sudden.

With a hunch, a premonition of something being wrong, he searched the area, until he caught another glimpse of the girl in the distance. Her body looked like a mirage; half transparent, even as she ran away from him, leading him towards a nearby small forest area.

"Wait!" without thinking it much, he ran after her, giving chase. "Who are you?"

Then he grinded his feet into a sudden halt. He looked up, gasping loudly. The girl was nowhere in sight, but instead, he had just found a tall, thin and pale man in a traditional hakama and kimono ensemble hanging by the neck from the branch of a large cherry tree. His wild black hair fell all over his face, barely allowing seeing he wore glasses. He wore a wooden sandal in a foot; the other sandal lay under his inanimate body.

The soft breeze blew pink petals all around them.

_A young teacher full of hope for the future..._

_A young teacher full of despair over the past..._

_A meeting that never should have happened..._

* * *

><p>Negi remained frozen on his tracks for a moment, fully unsure of what to do upon finding a hanging body on Academy grounds. After that initial shock, he pulled a small rulebook out and began flipping through its pages. Running away to find Takamichi seemed a good option to take, but he wanted to be fully sure first.<p>

Then the corpse opened his haunted eyes and asked him in a conversational, yet deeply disturbing (by the mere fact of the words coming from a hanged man's mouth) tone, "So. I assume you are Negi Springfield?"

"GAH!" Acting by instinct, the boy jumped back, aimed a hand up at the freakish stranger, and shouted, "Rastel Maskir Magister! Unus Fulgor Concidens Noctem, in Mea Manu Ens Inimicum Edat! Fulguratio Albicans!"

"No, wait! I'm not a—" the tall thin man asked seconds before being blasted up by several bolts of lightning that shook him like a ragdoll, snapping his rope and making him to fall facefirst into the dirt like a dead weight.

Negi breathed in and out, nearly panting, carefully looking down at the fallen, motionless and slightly smoking body. Until it seemed to regain life, jumping to its feet and yelling angrily while rubbing its throat with a bony hand.

"WHAT IF I HAD DIED?"

"GYAAHHH!" Negi backed away. "A zombie!"

"Zombie?" the man dusted himself off. "That's a new one. Out of all the insults I have ever received, I had never been identified as a Haitian undead before. Rest assured, however, I have not died yet, much to my regret. May I inquire why are you at my secret place of courtship with death?"

"Wh-Who are you?" the child blabbered instead of answering at all.

"Hmph" the man shook his head while putting his discarded sandal back on. "Cowardly. Lacking self-control. And on top of it all, rude enough to not answer to an adult's query. No, you possibly couldn't be the boy Takamichi told me about."

Negi stopped being freaked out so much for a moment. "Do you know Takahata Takamichi?"

"I should, since we are colleagues," the man with the hakama nodded sparsely. "I am Itoshiki Nozomu, homeroom teacher of Mahora Academy's Class 2-F, sadly for me! I am also the most unfortunate man on Earth! Even more so now that you have foiled my latest attempt when I almost was seeing the Pearly Gates!"

"Are you... another teacher at Mahora?" Negi blinked, disbelieving. Then he quickly bowed to him. "Pleased to meet you, Itoshiki-sensei! I'm Negi Springfield, the new homeroom teacher for Class 2-A! Sorry about attacking you, but you scared me! I thought you were going to die!"

"I was going to die! That's exactly the point!" Itoshiki sighed with a long suffering expression, and then passed a hand through his own hair. "I was sure I'd get it right this time!"

Negi stared blankly at him, until another ill feeling ran through him. He had just noticed something almost as strange as Itoshiki-sensei's behavior. It was a huge and black magical aura all around him, surrounding his whole body in a way only a mage could feel and understand. It was a terrifying, overwhelming grim power swirling around the man almost hungrily, poking at his body and mind without ever stopping.

"You are... a dark mage!" the young boy gasped aloud.

"Not so loud!" Itoshiki opened his eyes as much as he could, covering Negi's mouth with a hand. "What if someone would happen to hear you? The last thing my miserable life needs is my transformation into an ermine!"

Negi nodded, and he lowered his voice as the man let his mouth go. "But... But... what is a dark mage doing teaching at Mahora? Konoemon-sensei would never—"

Itoshiki looked at him in a distraught way. "Please don't say it! You're going to say I'm a horrible person, a devil worshipper and an ill example to my pupils just because I'm a dark magic user, aren't you? That's so typical of today's youth! Judging the book by its cover! Taking things for granted just because of what they just watched on TV, or in the latest Harry Potter movie! But if you were as smart as Takamichi said, you would know Dark Is Not Evil! At least not always! Although I admit I'm a completely failure at life, but because of reasons completely unrelated to that!"

He finished his rant by looking at one side, then at the other, and then yelling as loud as he could, raising his hands in a melodramatic manner.

"I'M IN DESPAIR! PEOPLE WHO JUDGE OTHERS BASED ON PRIOR ILL-CONCEIVED CONCEPTS HAVE LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

"... I'm sorry if I have misjudged you," Negi said meekly.

"No. It's okay" the man waved a hand, more calmed all of a sudden, sinking his head down. "I'm a horrible person anyway. That's why I wanted to finish my life here."

"B-But why?" Negi exclaimed. "You never should forfeit your life, no matter what! That's what my sister always told me! As long as there's life, there's hope!"

His older colleague gave him a tired look. "You are too young to understand. Once you grow older and the realities of life sink in, you will see how right I am."

He started to walk towards the Academy, gesturing for Negi to follow him. "I was born from one of Japan's richest and most prestigious families. Secretly, my family is also one of experts at magic. My brother Mikoto specializes in healing magic, for instance. Even so, he and our two older brothers were seen as unfit for the title of heirs to the Itoshiki prestige by the time I was born. My birth was a problematic one. I was marked by misfortune even back then! I was born, technically, dead. But my father would not accept that. No, he would have his proper heir no matter what!"

"So, what did he do?" Negi asked sheepishly.

"With no time to ponder other courses of action, he broke one of magic's oldest taboos! He used a forbidden spell on me... the Curse of the Unending Despair! It blew life back into me, but at a terrible cost. I would live, forever escaping the icy touch of death until old age claimed me... but never allowing me to be happy! That was the curse's price! I cannot die no matter what, but it will not allow me to ever reach happiness!"

The child made a terrified sound. "That's horrible! What kind of father would do that to a son?"

"The despairing kind, of course," Itoshiki stated. "Father just couldn't watch me to die. To this day, I still don't know how much of that was pure love and how much was selfish desire to continue his lineage, but I also proved being unfitting his expectations anyway. That's why my younger sister is the current heiress to the family's glory."

"Isn't there any way to break that curse?" Negi asked.

Itoshiki seemed about to say something, but finally reconsidered it and shook his head. "Not any feasible one."

"How awful... Wait a moment. If you know you couldn't die no matter what, why were you hanging yourself?" the younger one asked.

Itoshiki-sensei almost laughed, somewhat embarrassed. "Well... I suppose even I can be an optimist to some degree. Hope is truly the last thing to perish..."

Negi was stunned out of his mind. "You put all of your hopes on killing yourself?"

"Yes," he replied simply.

"But that's just... wrong".

"For you, maybe." He quickly changed the subject. "Didn't Takamichi ever tell you about me?"

"... I can't say he ever did, no," Negi had to admit it.

Itoshiki didn't seem offended. "I don't blame him. I would do the same thing if our roles were reversed. But he has told me a lot about you. He has you in quite the high esteem."

Negi fidgeted around. "Heh heh, really...? He shouldn't have. I'm nothing but a novice..."

For a moment, Itoshiki's gaze softened up as he looked down at the small child. Didn't he even suspect his true legacy? No, he possibly couldn't. Well, he wouldn't be the one to tell him, then. He already had enough problems with his insane class as it was.

They stopped before the Academy's main building. The adult put a hand on one of the boy's shoulders, and after realizing there still was not anyone in listening range, he told him, "Negi-sensei. Listen. There are some things you must know about this Campus. First, not all our colleagues are versed into the secrets of magic."

"I know. Takamichi and the Headmaster warned me about it."

"Good. As you know, Takamichi and Shizuna-sensei are no mages, but they know all there is to know about magic. So do Sugiura-sensei, Nekonome-sensei, Ririko-sensei, Akashi-sensei and Arai-sensei, the psychological counselor. Arai-sensei, however, is quite a terrifying woman if you ever invoke her anger. So do not ever cross her. On the other hand, Nitta-sensei, Kuroi-sensei, Jinroku-sensei, Kurosawa-sensei and Yukari-sensei know nothing on the matter, and they should be kept in the dark at any and all costs."

"Roger!" the boy nodded, doing his best to memorize the names.

"Another thing to know if you are teaching 2-A is... beware Evangeline Mc Dowell," he warned in a fearful whisper.

Negi blinked.

"Sooner or later, she will go after you," Itoshiki kept his voice as low as he could. "Never tell her I told you this; I shouldn't even be doing it. But she will do it. And she is the most fearsome person to inhabit these grounds. Watch your back, Negi Springfield. Although I doubt it would do you any good."

He turned around and began to walk away, quickly.

"Wait!" Negi called out. "Why would she do that? And why should I fear her?"

Itoshiki Nozomu said nothing else, until he disappeared into the distance. No doubt gone looking for more rope.

Negi stood alone, feeling even more confused than he had been before.

* * *

><p>"THIS ISN'T RIGHT!" she shouted, slamming both hands on her personal desk, right before both computers. "NORMAL SCHOOLS AREN'T LIKE THIS!"<p>

Of course, it was something most often left unsaid at all. But the last two days had been so frustrating she had to let it out now she was alone at last. Chisame now huffed and puffed at her heart's content, uncorking the bottle of her pented up rage.

She paced around the bedroom at a fast pace, ranting to herself, putting her glasses aside. "All I've ever asked for is a quiet place to belong to! A stable place with sane people, not an asylum! When half your class looks like they should be at elementary school, and the other half acts like it instead, then you know the teachers should do something to solve it, not to worsen it!"

At that point, she really didn't care if he arrived early and listened or not. The teenager was too angry to think about the likely implications of him ratting her out to the Dean, assuming he had the guts for it.

She needed to tell someone, anyone, about it all. Luckily, she always had such a public at hand.

"I'll tell everyone about him," her private closet's doors flew open as she frantically rummaged inside, pulling the makeup kit out, then starting to expertly apply the lipstick on her mouth, barely needing to look at the mirror to do it. She hardly could see anything but the prospects of dragging his name through the mud anyway. "Does he think everyone loves him? We'll see about that," she promised while finishing the lips and beginning to pass the eyeliner with precise strokes.

It wasn't fair such a stupid runt could just endear himself to everyone just by walking into a room while she had to work so hard for it. Not like she cared about the classroom's admiration or love (Far from it! No matter what those random dreams said!), but she simply knew it was unfair, and that was all. What was so cute about him? Nothing but a little stinky nerd, that was what he was. If the bimbos had bothered to take a good sniff at him yesterday, and if she hadn't made them the favor of cleaning him up for them in the morning, perhaps they would be singing a different tune.

"I'll show that squirt what's true love all about" she mumbled while buttoning her fanciest summer dress up, then carefully putting a matching hat on the top of her head. She smiled at her mirror image, thinking there was nothing prettier than it. The small ugly geeky caterpillar was gone. In her place, the gorgeous butterfly known as Chiu had spread her wings again.

"Another day of Chiu being lovely," she told herself, growing satisfied.

Gleefully excited, she sat down before the larger computer, turning it on. There was no better sound than that of the Windows theme.

And then her webpage, the paradisiacal gate to her personal Heaven, welcomed her back. The Queen quickly strolled through its entrance halls to greet her loyal subjects at the Message Board. As usual, the warm welcomes and words of admiration, and of hopes for the upcoming update, had made her to feel all warm and loved inside. Now those guys, they understood. She didn't even know their true faces (doubting even those who sent or published their photos. Most of them looked too handsome to be real), but she wasn't going to question them over that, and she still felt she knew them better than everyone physically around herself.

She kindly returned the loving words, then stopped upon realizing she had not thought how to actually voice her complains. Saying her teacher had moved in with her would raise an unwanted ruckus; some of the more militant fans would rage and claim betrayal. At the same time, admitting he was a kid would make her to look ridiculous.

_I'm saddened over our new teacher for this term,_ she had started._He's a very annoying person! Today, he was looking at Chiu in a very perverted way!_

Shampoo in his eyes, right.

_That's horrible! What's the problem with him! _the first outraged commentary had come mere moments afterwards.

_I know his kind. I've had several teachers who are like that_

_I'd like to beat that creep up_

Ooohhh, she knew there was a reason why she liked user Passerby B despite how many flamewars he caused.

The fans had continued raging for several minutes after that, until user Iceworld, always so politically correct, had written,

_But I totally get why he did it. It's because you're so pretty!_

_Absolutely! No one can resist Chiu-sama's charms. No one!_

_Exactly. That's why she is the most prettiest of all internet idols_

Chiu bit her lower lip, her cheeks actually glowing bright red. "Oh, come on...!" she giggled, delighted. "You don't mean it...!"

Oh yes they did. That was the most wonderful part!

Again, her fingers gracefully danced over the keyboard, throwing the reward to the hungry, devoted masses.

_Thank you so very much! As a showing of Chiu's gratitude, Chiu will now add three new galleries for you sweeties!_

She set the camera up before changing into her new nurse outfit, looking at the mirror for a moment, pleased with the vision of such an angel of medical mercy. The rite of self photography started again, flash after flash going on inside the room, each one taking a different angle, a different perfect smile. The key was always smiling. And Photoshop.

The French maid outfit had come next; it had costed her a fortune, actually, but it had been worth every cent. The fans had asked for it for too long; it would drive them crazy. Still, now she had an idea why only people like Iinchou could allow themselves to buy that for their slaves. Dad had popped a vein over the phone at seeing the month's expenses; she had just lied something about an accident and paying for a broken Chinese jar.

And finally, for the coup de grace, the Playboy bunny outfit. Complete with bust enhancing filling; post-photo retouches would do the rest. Damn, but she was sexy, she thought while admiring the pictures. But sadly, not nearly sexy enough...

Not as much as Iinchou or Chizuru, or even Asakura or Haruna...

For a moment, her spirits sunk down at the sight of the reality iceberg before refloating thanks to the wonders of modern science.

Once the photos were filed, making a few improvements over them was a child's play. She was so good at it even veterans of everything from nude filters to conspiracy alterations were fooled like babies. The zits and pimples vanished from her face just as quickly as they appeared in real life. The breasts and the hips grew up, but not enough to look out of place on her frame. Even the teeth were made even whiter. The butterfly had grown beyond the earthly limits to become an ethereal fairy.

Chisame was happy.

She also was blissfully unaware of how long she had spent doing that by now.

* * *

><p>Negi was tired. As he walked back to the dorm, after a long while of fruitlessly looking for Shizuna, Takamichi and the ghostly girl, he had decided to return home (it still was very strange calling it like that) upon noticing it was getting darker and colder outside. The sky was growing busier with storm clouds.<p>

He walked in to see Hakase back from her Club, hunchbacked over the dinner table drawing something on a large spread sheet, barely noticing his presence. The whole table was full with tools, drawing utensils and several pieces of machinery.

"Good evening, Hakase-san," he said. "How was your meeting today?"

"Hm. Very fruitful. Lots of new interesting theories," she replied, absently, never taking her eyes apart from her work.

"I see... That's good to hear. Umm, not to sound rude, but, about dinner..." he couldn't help but rubbing his growling stomach with a hand.

"Ask Chisame. Busy here. Not hungry yet," the scientist droned like an answering machine, automatically gesturing with a shoulder towards the bedroom.

"Okay..." he nodded, walking towards the door and knocking on it. There was no reply.

"Maybe she fell asleep again," Satomi noted. "Often does that after a very long session."

The boy blinked. "A session of what?" he asked, looking back at his student without noticing he had applied more pressure and more of his weight to the door's frame than he had intended. The door opened itself towards the inside, and, taken by surprise, he tumbled into the room.

Chiu smirked seeing her ratings going up. Her closest competitor, Kotokon's homepage, couldn't even compare! Now let's see if the brat could ever compare to that. How could having around twenty airheads (giving the benefit of doubt to some classmates) pining after your underage body ever compare to THIS? Hah! Her underage body knew of no contest, no rivals!

Now, she almost wished he could see it himself.

She tensed, hearing something stumbling into her room.

"HAKASE!" she turned her head around. "What have you broken— this—"

Her eyes went round and large as plates as she found herself staring into some just as huge, perplexed dark brown eyes.

She was wearing a Playboy bunny suit, updating a page with suggestive photos of herself, in front of her ten years old teacher. Her mouth became quickly as dry as the Sahara.

How she hated reality's cruel pranks.

* * *

><p>"Wh-Wh-What are you doing here?" Chisame demanded, backpedalling on her chair until her back touched Satomi's lower bed bunk, quickly grabbing a bedsheet to cover herself. Her cheeks were flushed as red as apples, almost as red as his.<p>

"I-I-I'm sorry!" he looked away, searching for something else to put his eyes on. "I had been knocking at the door, but it was half open, and-"

"Ah, yes, that'd be me, now I remember," Hakase's voice calmly came from the living room. "When I arrived, I peeked in to see if you were here. I saw you updating, so I decided not to disrupt you."

Once more, Chisame felt a burning need to strangle a certain pencil necked idiot savant.

But there was something far more pressing at mind now. The child's gaze had fully met her precious webpage. Even he would make the connection with that much proof before him. In any moment, he would say-

"Uwaaaa! That's you, Hasegawa-san?" he marveled, standing up and walking to the screen, looking at it with wide eyes and a wider smile. "You look amazing here! The designs all around you are great, too!"

"Th-Thanks," she managed to blurt out instinctively. Then she grimaced. Wait a moment, had that innocuous silly smile just caught her off guard, too? Surely it had just been the tension of the moment. Granted, it was a cute smile, but...

"All those clothes are very pretty," he went on, looking up and down at the featured pics, although thankfully he didn't even seem to be willing to touch the keyboard. The last thing she wanted was the hick figuring out how to access her swimsuit galleries. "Are they all yours?"

She bit her lower bit, feeling a sudden sting on a sensitive point. Chisame was not rich as Iinchou, or even higher middle class like Kakizaki, nor had a thriving business like Chao. She spent almost half of her savings in cosplay clothes, but even so, she often had to cut corners. Sewing add-ons on some costumes often made them to look completely different, for example. Other times she rented them, always wary of being spotted by the shopping-happy cheerleader trio. Finally, some other times, Photoshopping the clothes themselves was a last resource, although those were trickier to get right, and thus a decidedly final option.

In any case, she disliked being reminded of it. She hated being reminded of her life as a pedestrian peasant feigning being a graceful Queen.

"Get out of the room," she said. "Please."

He looked dumbly at her. "Huh? Oh, I'm sorry. Was this the private thing you didn't want me to see? If so, I apolo-"

"STOP APOLOGIZING OVER EVERYTHING AND JUST GET OUT!" she yelled. "FORGET YOU EVER SAW THIS! OKAY?"

Anew, he shrunk down before her dominating presence. "B-But why? I don't think this is a bad or shameful thing... It's always good to have a hobby!"

That was the problem! It was more than just a hobby; it was pathetic and immature and as retarded as anything Makie and Misora and the twins ever did, but she didn't want to be reminded of that, even indirectly!

Chisame breathed in deeply, counting in her mind to ten to keep her control, clenching her eyes shut before looking down at his face again. He was smiling again, the same cute smile. She wanted him to stop smiling, to stop making her feel bad and stupid, to just leave her alone to her own devices.

"You shouldn't feel ashamed of being pretty" he said then.

The girl recoiled back even more, sitting on the bed's edge. He was looking at her own face now, right? Not at the pictures. At her actual face, with the zits still visible even under the makeup, with the small breasts failing to properly fill her bunny suit, with the not-fully-perfect teeth and everything. Why was he calling her pretty?

"You retouch those photos, right?" he guessed. "But I think you're prettier as you normally are" Negi said, as if he was just commenting on the weather. "You don't need to hide behind a fake identity. My sister always says-"

"S-STOP IT!" she angrily shrieked, standing up, so angry she had let the bedsheet to fall off herself. "YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT WOMEN IN GENERAL, EITHER! AND STOP COMPARING ME TO YOUR SISTER!"

He had to be mocking her, or he really was that stupid. Either way, he was the most annoying person she'd ever meet. She just wanted him out, away, as soon as possible.

"But- but-" he blinked cluelessly.

"Haven't you heard me?" she grabbed him by the shoulders. "Listen to your seniors for once and JUST GET OUT!" She shook him around, also making her long loose hair to wave all around, several strands of it brushing over his face.

The boy shuddered all of a sudden at the forceful tickling of hairs on his nose. To his credit, he tried hard to hold himself on, but she kept shaking him, and he couldn't turn around in time, and...

"Ah... Ahhhh..."

"Ah what?" she asked, stopping her shaking. Maybe he'd listen now.

"A-CHOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The ensuing ear piercing scream of her roommate finally was enough to get Hakase to get up and waddle, mumbling to herself, all the way to the bedroom. Honestly, how did they expect for science to advance if mundanity kept on blaring war horns into its ears.

"Ne, Chisame..." she said while walking in. "I would appreciate if you bothered to keep your trivial recriminations in a lower tone of-"

She blinked, looking at the scene of a bright red, petrified Negi-sensei standing right before a just as shocked and immobile, fully naked save for some bunny ears on her head and rags of shredded cloth wrapped lingeringly over her most private areas, Hasegawa Chisame. The floor all around her was littered with tiny pieces of clothing... that almost looked like flower petals. Perhaps a better research on it in the close future would be required.

"Oh dear, Chisame," Satomi made a kind of face she very rarely ever made. "I must express my discomfort over this morally reprehensible situation. I was of the belief you weren't approving of Iinchou-san's patterns of moral debauchery concerning figures of-"

A pillow tossed at her face silenced the poor scientist.

"GET OUT MY ROOM! GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" Hasegawa turned her attentions back to the boy, wrapping herself within the bedsheet and stomping her way towards the quickly retreating pint sized threat to her sanity.

"B-B-B-But it's not such a big deal, right?" he blabbered, trying hard to remember the exact moral customs of Japan in that area involving persons of their respective ages, although for some reason his mind just kept going back to the brief image of Chisame's breasts. "I-I mean, you saw me naked early today... and technically, you weren't even left fully naked... you still had those bits over your-"

"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT AND GET LOST!" she repeated.

"What did I do?" Satomi honestly wondered, pulling the pillow off her face just in time to see Negi's eyes watering up suddenly, like those of a puppy who has just been kicked off a table and into the floor. Without saying a single word more, the child grabbed his staff and bolted out of the front door, into the rainstorm now raging outside. "Ah, Sensei, no! You mustn't! It's raining now, and-"

She tried to follow him out, but desisted when she saw him pointing a hand towards his feet, whispering something, and then running away far faster than she ever could hope to run. In a couple of seconds, he was impossible to see in the distance.

_"Magic!"_ Satomi whispered to herself, low enough for Chisame not to hear. Chao would be interested to listen about that, yes, she would.

The sounds of loud sobbing from the bedroom made her to walk back there, to find Chisame made a wreck, but still at her computer, typing madder than ever.

"If he happens to contract a cold while outside, we surely will be severely punished over it" Hakase pointed out rationally. "After all, we were appointed his caretakers."

"As if I care" the virtual idol fiercely tried to suck her tears back. Never looking at her.

"He is still just a child, Chisame..."

"Let him go to Iinchou. If she wants him so much, she can have him!"

Satomi sighed, waving her hands around while returning to her designs. "If something happens to him, I'll take no responsibility on it."

"I'll take all the blame!" Chisame growled. Moronic selfish egghead.

"Yes, I'll make sure of it," Satomi huffed, slumping back on her spot. Cretinous intellectual pygmy. She had just witnessed something beyond the scope of modern day science, and she only was concerned about her self-pleasuring webpage?

She was a bit puzzled over that last point, herself. Finally, her scientific curiosity won over her pride and she asked, "What did happen to your clothes, then?"

"I don't know" Chisame sizzled. "I don't want to know. I won't think about it."

She was trembling even as she tried to continue the update.

"Maybe I should give Chachamaru a call," Hakase suggested. "And tell her to search the Mahora perimeter for him."

"Are you concerned about another human being now?" Chisame scoffed. "Never pegged you as that type. You never seemed to care until now."

Satomi scowled. She was unused to get angry at others, but she was starting to now. "Pot, kettle, black," she bitterly remembered a saying she had heard once, back when she cared about other things but mechanics.

Chisame said nothing. Neither did she.

Outside, the storm grew even bigger for the following minutes. Until the minutes passed by and passed on, becoming almost a hour, and Satomi caught her roommate giving brief, concerned peeks at the window at random intervals whose frequency grew faster and faster as the time went on.

The stranger fact about it was she couldn't quite concentrate on her designs now, either.

"He mentioned he was hungry," Hakase remembered quietly.

"Hmmm," Chisame muttered, seeming rather antsy.

"Alone and hungry, at a strange environment, under a strong rainstorm," Satomi mused. "Chachamaru could run a good scan of the area from above, even under the current weather conditions. You wouldn't have to-"

"Forget Chachamaru," Chisame sighed with exasperation, standing up to reach for a trenchcoat. "I don't want your stinking robot to get involved into this, too."

"Oh?" Hakase arched an eyebrow quizzically. "Is this another emotional outburst, this time one born out of primal guilt? Do you feel you need to prove yourself, or to pay penitence, by finding the child you offended, with your own eyes and hands?"

"Shut up, Hakase," Chisame mumbled, putting on her thickest boots. "It's just, if I'm going to do this, I want to do it like normal people do."

She walked to the front door while opening her umbrella, pausing for only a moment while looking back at her classmate. "Are you coming too, or not?"

Satomi smiled. "I'll go fetch something that could be helpful," she offered.

* * *

><p>The boy sat on the narrow bench at the bus stop, hugging his knees against himself in an attempt to stay fully under the (even narrower) small ceiling hanging over his head, supported by twin thin pillars of steel.<p>

It was not helping a lot anyway. The weather was so windy it just ended blowing water into his face and clothes in any case.

But he knew standing back up and walking back to the dorm wouldn't help either. First, he had not paid any attention to his way on his escape, so he couldn't go back so easily even if he wanted to. Flying would make it easier, but it was a huge no-no in public, and harder to manage under a storm. Then, there was the fact it was so dark outside, he most likely would get lost even if he knew the way he should be taking.

But mostly, he didn't want to go back.

He looked for the booklet tucked into his shirt and fished it out alongside a pen. Scowling almost cutely, he went straight to the picture of Student Number 25 and wrote 'A TRULY HORRIBLE PERSON' under it.

He closed the booklet and sighed. How childish of him. He should know better.

Negi had come to the bus stop by simply running into it accidentally, but now he was asking himself if he should take that as a sign from above and leave. No, he told himself, shaking the fleeting idea out of his skull. Perish the thought. He couldn't ever find his father if tiny stumbling blocks like that deviated him from his path. And what would his Sister, Anya and the Principal say?

He would just wait for the storm to pass, go back and apologize to Miss Hasegawa.

Even if she was such a horrible person.

So pretty, yet so horrible.

He sneezed loudly, shuddering due to the cold. Luckily there was no one else around.

Meanwhile, that horrible person shrieked in utter fear for her life, wrapping an arm around a laughing Hakase's midsection as the mad scientist piloted the... weird thing they both were standing on. Her other arm was desperately clinging to her umbrella, trying to keep it over her own head despite the wind's strong attempts to yank it away.

Satomi, on the other hand, didn't seem to be bothered by the rain as she drove her small self-customized motorized vehicle through the deserted campus. The huge hat secured to her head shielded her surprisingly well from the hammering drops of icy water, and the goggles strapped on to her face protected her eyes.

"ARE YOU SURE WE WON'T GET INTO A JAM OVER THIS?" Chisame yelled to make herself heard over the storm.

"I HAVE A PILOTING LICENSE, I TOLD YOU!" Hakase cackled madly in turn, making Chisame to wonder exactly who had seen fit to issue her such a license in the first place. "ALTHOUGH YOU COULD GET INTO SOME DIFFICULTIES IF YOU'RE SPOTTED!"

"WHAT? WHY ME?".

"I DON'T HAVE A LICENSE TO CARRY PASSENGERS, SO YOU'RE COMMITING AN INFRACTION!"

"THE HELL—? WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT BEFORE? AND YOU'RE THE ONE BREAKING THE RULES THEN!"

"WHY? I'M NOT THE PASSENGER!" Hakase blinked.

Chisame sighed and went back to looking all around. They had been roaming through the whole area for more than half a hour now; Hakase's speedster had allowed them to cover a surprisingly large sector, and yet, there was no Negi in sight anywhere. Hasegawa was starting to get truly concerned.

Until, by a sudden stroke of luck, she saw him near the school's limits, at one of the older and smaller bus stops. "HAKASE!" she called out, pointing with the umbrella in his direction. "DOWN THERE!"

"Huh?" the genius peered curiously. "Oh yes, I would say that is him, indeed". Making an U-turn, she speeded towards the still unaware wet boy. The bus stop was at a lower level, and to get exactly there, you would have to go down a long and narrow set of steps the vehicle was not designed to cover. Satomi screeched it to a half before the upper steps, then smiled briefly at her roommate. "You go bring him."

Chisame found herself nodding. "Okay". She jumped off the blasted thing and began to run down. "SENSEI! SENSEI, IT'S ME!"

She saw him finally noticing her, lifting his small head up to give her a nearly haunted look. Honestly, children. No matter how many diplomas he could have had, he no doubt was still just a brat.

Then she felt herself slipping into a large puddle of water when she still hadn't covered half of the steps down. With a yelp, she lost balance and slid forward, her feet losing contact with the solid ground. She fell down as she barely noticed Hakase's gulp of surprise from above.

What she managed to see well was Negi's sudden panicked face from below. As she got closer in her freefall, she saw him aiming the staff up at her with an amazing speed of reflexes. He shouted something that the rain's roaring covered.

And then her fall was stopped by an invisible force.

Chisame's heart jumped up while she felt herself being slowly lowered down, like a weightless feather, to safely land into an expecting Negi's open arms. He caught her with barely some effort, oddly enough for someone of his size, although the brunt of the catch still put him down on his knees.

Hakase watched from above, fascinated, her suspicions confirmed.

Chisame merely looked at his face with huge, terrified eyes. He smiled awkwardly, his hair a sopping mess, his glasses as fogged up as hers.

"Are... Are you okay, Hasegawa-san?" her teacher asked tentatively.

Chisame only could nod wordlessly, thankfully unable to notice the deep blush running over her own cheeks.

She was too stunned to do anything else.

* * *

><p>However, the confusion quickly was followed by fear, as the girl jumped up from Negi's arms and backed away stuttering.<p>

"W-w-What was that?" she yelled. "That definitely wasn't a normal fall! What did you do to me?"

The boy trembled, and not only due to the cold, firmly clutching his staff between his shaking hands. "Well, you see... ahh..."

"Don't tell me you're some sort of alien!" Chisame gulped hard.

"Erm, no, not exactly..."

"You're an ESPer, then!" she aimed a finger at him.

"No, not at all!" he protested.

"Or a time traveler!" the virtual idol despaired. "No, wait, you're just a bad dream! I accidentally ate something Hakase cooked and I'm in a delirious comma state! Luckily, in any moment now I'll either wake up or die!"

"He's a mage," Satomi calmly pointed out from above.

"A mage? That's ridiculous," Chisame blinked several times. "And scientifically impossible. For you of all people to say that..."

"Um, actually, she's right," Negi meekly conceded. "I'm a wizard, or mage. Both definitions are technically correct."

Chisame gave him a blank and huge shocked stare. "No. For real," she eeped out.

"I'm telling you the truth," their teacher insisted. "That thing yesterday with the eraser? I did it. It was a lesser version of the spell I just used on you."

Chisame just kept looking at him, unable to speak.

"However," he pointed out, gulping while spinning his staff around, "I'm afraid I can't let you to keep that knowledge. As a mage, I've sworn to keep my powers as a secret, forever hidden from the mundanes. Any magic user who fails at keeping that promise can be punished strictly, even being transformed into some species of animal, like an ermine, a Peruvian chicken, a lizard or a dung beetle. So I have no choice but to erase your memories of this experience!".

"Okay!" Chisame quickly nodded.

Negi paused, surprised. "Okay?"

"Of course it's okay!" she said. "As if I wanted to remember anything of this! Look, I want nothing more than having a normal life, and that certainly doesn't include anything related to magic of any sorts! So I'll be much happier if I forget everything about this horrible incident!". She spread her arms eagerly. "Zap me up with any mumbo-jumbo you have to make me normal again!"

The boy looked at her with wide, incredulous eyes, before smiling again and nodding. "Very well! I'm so glad you are so understanding, Hasegawa-san! Normally, people always panics and tries to run away when I have to do this..."

Chisame arched her eyebrows. "How many times have you had to do this before?"

He laughed awkwardly. "Heh, heh, heh... Let's just say I'm still a beginner... I'm not that well used to hide my secret yet..."

The child started to spin his staff around once more. "For that very same reason, I must warn you maybe I'll botch this spell up and erase a little more than you probably expect me to..."

Chisame grew worried. "Exactly how much more?"

"Well, the most I've messed up in the past is causing total amnesia, but I'm sure I can fix the worst of it later..." he began to chant a spell under his breath.

"WAIT! NO! NO! NO!" the girl had quickly changed her mind after hearing that. "STOP IT! YOU DON'T NEED TO! DON'T YOU DARE, YOU MINDRAPING WEIRDO!"

"You heard her, Sensei" Hakase's voice rang from above again, quietly, but with a strange new edge to it. Negi stopped his incantation, and he and Chisame looked up to see the genius holding a cellphone in a hand, recording the whole event.

"Hakase-san?" The young teacher had a bad feeling.

"Stop your attempts to disrupt my roommate's memories or I will press this button and send this recording to Chao-san and everyone else at my Club" Satomi warned, not exactly hostile, but neither softly at all. "I disapprove of mages pulling such abusive actions upon those you consider 'mere mortals'. Yes, Sensei, I do know about magic. I have, for rather a long time now."

"You do?" Chisame didn't give credit to her own ears. "But how—?"

"Please, Chisame!" Satomi said. "Even with my highly advanced expertise, you didn't think I was able to develop Chachamaru only through the conventional scientific means, or did you? I only was able to give her life by combining the power of the so-called 'magic' with that of traditional energy sources inside of her robotic body!"

"UWAAA!" Negi screamed, scared out of his mind. "Karakuri Chachamaru-san? Student Number Ten? SHE'S A ROBOT?"

Chisame looked down at him again. "Don't tell me you hadn't noticed it yet!"

"In any case, Negi-sensei, your secret is safe with us," Satomi solemnly promised. "Chisame has absolutely no friends at all to share it with—"

"Thanks for making such a good case for me!" Hasegawa exclaimed.

"And I have sworn secrecy on the whole affairs of the world of magic before" the scientist continued, very seriously. "Mind, I am against the whole notion of magic being kept hidden from mankind" she explained, in a cold, stern tone Hasegawa didn't remember ever hearing from her before. "I believe mankind shouldn't be kept in the dark by an elite. As a scientist, I long for the day when all advancements reached upon every field of human development can be shared with people all across the globe. But in the meanwhile, as a favor for a most dear friend, I have promised to keep my silence on it. And I'm willing to extend that to you. But you have to promise to respect my mind, and Chisame's, and place as much trust on us as we'll put on you. That is, after all, a teacher's duty."

Impressed, Negi lowered his staff, looking humble and ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry, Hakase-san. You're right. I apologize over my actions, Hasegawa-san."

Now Chisame breathed easier, even as her heart kept on beating fast. Her mind was still in turmoil, trying to assimilate everything she had just learned.

Satomi smiled, gesturing with her head for them to come back up, with herself. "Now that's better. However, you two should get back home and change your clothing before you acquire a common cold. Possibly, a hot bath would be advised as well..."

Negi cringed. "No way! I already bathed once today!"

"...You little magical pig!" Chisame grabbed him by an ear and began dragging him up the steps with herself. "What kind of upbringing did they give you? If you really hope to be a Gentleman, you shouldn't be a filthy hippy!"

"Whaaa! Let my ear go! If I can't see you naked, then you shouldn't see me naked either!"

"I told you, those are two totally different things! You are nothing but a crybaby, but I'm already pretty much a woman!"

"Look at the positive side," Hakase smiled while her roommates went up onto the vehicle with her. "At least he didn't sneeze on you before the rest of the class."

"I'd have killed him in that case" Chisame deadpanned, firmly grabbing Hakase's waist as she motioned for Negi to do the same. "Sensei, if you value your life, then hold on tightly."

"Huh?" he blinked, puzzled. "But wh-YYYYYYYYYYY!"

He had his answer when Satomi suddenly stepped into the accelerator.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Four hours later:<em>**

Chisame sneezed loudly once again before wrapping her blanket even tighter around herself. She had her bare feet stuck inside of a bucket full with hot water, and a most bitter expression etched onto her face.

"I can't believe you mages don't have a cure for the freaking common cold yet, other than these old wives' myths," she mumbled after rubbing her now runny nose.

Negi laughed apologetically from his futon. "Eh he he... Actually, magic hasn't proved to be that effective against diseases, although we do have some pills and potions going beyond the scope of your medicine... But even our healers mostly specialize on healing wounds and the like..."

He quickly turned his head around before sneezing into the other direction, with a nearly thundering sound and blowing several parts of the carpet.

"Watch out where do you aim that nose," Chisame warned from where she sat, as Satomi returned to the room in her pajamas, yawning without a care in the world. "You're so lucky, Hakase. Why haven't I ever seen you getting sick?"

"I'm well used to falling asleep on a laboratory's cold floor," the scientist replied lazily, lying down onto her bed with her back turned to them. "And besides, you two were the ones who endured the most of the rain."

Hasegawa grumbled while shaking her head. "You can't go to teach tomorrow," she told Negi. "Not sneezing around like that. In five minutes flat, you'll turn 2-A into a forsaken nudist camp."

"Ehhh?" Negi moaned. "B-But it' just my third day at the job... I can't fail you girls like that!"

"I'll chain you down if I need to, but I won't allow you to go there until you have healed," his taller roommate stated decisively.

Negi pouted, but he said nothing else on the subject. Instead, he turned his eyes to Satomi's almost lethargic figure now. "Hakase-san...?" he asked.

"Mmmmm?" she hummed without stirring.

"You said Chao-san was your colleague, and you two created Karakuri-san together, using both magic and technology, right?"

"Right" Satomi dryly said.

"Since you aren't a magic user yourself, that means Chao-san is the mage whose secret you're protecting, in that case. Am I right?" he deduced.

There was a long, silent and tense pause right after that question was made.

"You know, I'm kind of curious about that, too," Chisame finally added, lifting her head just a bit into Hakase's direction.

"Sensei," the eccentric genius spoke again at last, in a small, dozed down voice, "If I'm going to keep your secret, the least I can do is to keep my friend's secret too, isn't that correct?"

Negi gulped, with a blush and a quick nod. "Correct! Sorry for being so indiscreet!"

"You just answered his question anyway!" Chisame sputtered. Then, tentatively, she reached out and touched the laying boy's forehead with a soft hand, checking his body temperature.

"You can go sleep now, Hasegawa-san," he said. "I'll be okay."

She negated with her head. "I'm not sleepy yet."

"Well, you can finish your update then..." he offered.

"I'm not in the mood right now."

"I see..." his voice trailed off.

Tiredly, they looked at each other's eyes for some moments.

Finally, he tilted his head around to sneeze again.

"By the way, thank you," she commented. "For saving me back there."

"Ah, it was nothing," he passed a tissue over his nose. "It was my duty as your teacher. And besides, it was my fault you were there in the first place."

"No, it was my fault you went there in the first place," she reluctantly admitted.

The boy smiled up at her. "It's okay. I overreacted. I shouldn't act like a spoiled child."

Chisame sighed. "That isn't something anyone of your age should be saying. You are really strange. You should change that."

He reached up with a small hand, grabbing hers, taking her by surprise. _"I'm sorry,"_ Negi whispered, stopping just long enough to blow his nose off. "Sorry. Really. But I can't. At least, not to change that way. I made a promise..."

"Again with the promises," Chisame scolded him to keep herself from looking uneasy. "What, if you don't fulfill that one, they'll turn you into a buzzard?"

"No. It's a personal promise this time," he distantly reminisced. "A promise... to my father."

Hasegawa opened her mouth to speak again, but seeing the look on his face, she preferred to leave the matter for later.

"Just sleep already, will you?" she commanded quietly. "The more you rest, the sooner you can go back to 2-A for Iinchou to lick your feet."

He nodded, closing his eyes and rather quickly being taken away by sleep.

He woke up a mere hours later, feeling a headache and itching to sneeze again. He took care to do it into a direction where it couldn't cause any damage, then stumbled his sleepy way to the toilet.

It was only when he came back to his futon when he noticed Chisame still on her chair, asleep and with her glasses on, with her nose leaking. Still at the futon's side.

Smiling, he carefully accommodated the blankets over her in a more comfortable way, took her glasses off and placed them over the desk, near her computers. As he laid back on the futon, the young wizard took the booklet back from under his pillow and revisited Student Number Twenty Five's entry.

'A TRULY HORRIBLE PERSON'.

Biting his tongue, he crossed with his pen all over the words, and then wrote something else right beneath it.

'DESERVING OF HAPPINESS'.

He closed it back while nodding to himself.

Somehow, he would find out how to do it.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>.


	2. A Fronte Praecipitium, A Tergo Lupi

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>A Fronte Praecipitium, A Tergo Lupi<strong>.

* * *

><p><strong><em>Four Weeks Ago:<em>**

"What do you mean with 'No'?"

Sister Shakti had given her a rather peeved stare after hearing that question.

"What do you think I meant?" the tanned, tall Sister asked, her voice tense and imposing.

Misora's eyes had become huge fully black circles, and she had squeaked out a deflated, "... No?"

"Exactly" Sister Shakti stated, then began to walk away.

"But why?" the girl had whined, running after her, despite the woman's sudden attempt to leave her behind by quickening her pace as much as she could without breaking into a sprint of her own. "I think I'm worthy by this point! I have studied and practiced for months and months! I have mastered the spells you requested me to learn, and—"

"You have only bothered to learn the most elemental basics!" her superior cut her off without looking back at her. "That isn't enough for you to earn a Pactio!"

"Come on! Many Ministra have started without a single spell under their arm!" the young girl pleaded, grabbing for one of Shakti's sleeves before she could step out of the otherwise empty church. "Just give me a chance, please! Cocone is willing to become my Magister, and—"

"Kasuga Misora" the woman barely turned her eyes towards her, with a sharp warning glare. "Unhand me, please."

The use of her full name snapped Misora into an abrupt jolt of fear, making her to quickly release the sleeve as if it was coated in poison. "S-Sorry! I guess I got carried away!"

"Yes, you did. That is the problem with you," the woman now faced her, looking down at her with a stern glare that could break rocks. "You lack selfcontrol, both over your emotions and over your abilities. You still are taking this all as a game. You don't even start to see the true meaning of our mission. You only think of the accolades, failing to see our lives are intended to be full of sacrifices and hard work."

"I already work very hard, Sister!" Misora protested. "Every day I scrub the floors after getting back from school, and—"

"Misora, I am not talking about a janitor's work!"

"Sorry, sorry!" she laughed it off nervously. "It's just, um, I really think I'll have more to work with once I have a Pactio! Then I'll be able to actually pull my weight around! Yeah, then I won't be afraid of anything!" She smirked, clenching a fist up and pumping it in a way you definitely shouldn't expect from a nun, even one in training. "Just give me a Pactio and I'll be besting everyone, I'm sure of it!"

Sister Shakti gave her another critical stare. "Young lady, courage isn't something earned from power. A coward with power will be nothing but a coward hiding behind that power. True fighters, true mages, will not ever rely only upon their magic; it is their hearts that make them great. You still lack that, plus the discipline and the responsibility, needed for us to grant you a Pactio. I'm sorry," she stated categorically.

"Are you telling me I am... a coward?" Misora squeeked out, her eyes becoming funny abstractions once again.

"You have failed at every test we have given you, even when facing minor threats," Shakti reminded her.

"Give me a break! That goblin could have killed me!"

"It barely was bigger than a bunny!"

"But it had those huge teeth, no doubt poisonous!"

"No, they weren't."

"I had no way to know that!"

"You would have, if you had studied you grimoire of beasts properly!" the woman retorted.

Misora was giving her the best puppy face she could make now. "Sister Shakti... Do you hate me so much?"

The older nun's face twitched. "What?"

"For years, I have looked up at you!" the teenager sobbed theatrically. "I took my votes at this Order hoping to fight alongside you, to some day be as great as you! Because I always admired you more than anyone else!"

"Are you trying to trick me with adulations?" Shakti asked rhetorically.

"But now, your cold rejection hurts my heart to its core!" Misora all but bawled. "You have called me lazy and cowardly, a failure at life, a shame to our organization!"

"Wait a moment; I have not gone that far."

"Then you will give me another chance?" she asked hopefully.

"As long as you don't become a diligent, brave and responsible apprentice... no," her superior replied without a shadow of a doubt. "You only wish to reap the results without earning them. Child, what will you do once you have a Pactio? You won't be able to use it to fight for those you hold dear until your heart has matured. Power without the moral strength to wield it is a completely useless thing."

Misora groaned, looking aside.

"Look at me," Sister Shakti commanded, grabbing her by the cheeks and forcing her face to turn towards her own. The woman smiled, for once. Misora didn't remember watching her smiling ever since... huh... never, really. Maybe when she had introduced Cocone to her. "Child, it is my hope that, someday, you will find the thing you need to realize your true potential. Your heart needs that spark to ignite your soul, to give you the wings you need to fly. Until then, don't give up. Try to find your own path, not walking behind us, but striving to walk alongside us. Don't ever be satisfied with picking the results of others' hard work. Do that hard work yourself, and in the end, your reward will be that much greater. Have you understood that?"

Misora just nodded silently, simply hoping for her to release her already.

Shakti's usual expression returned. "Good. In the meanwhile, the windows still need cleaning."

"Y-Yes, Sister!"

* * *

><p><strong><em>Now:<em>**

Misora yawned and stretched lazily on her bed before sitting up, scratching herself on the ribs. Her gaze wandered slowly across her room, finding Cocone's bed to be empty. The warm smell of onigiri coming from the kitchen told her of her roommate's current situation, plus making her mouth to water up.

The young girl with the short and messy hair smiled to herself. She was feeling ready to eat a whole horse if needed! She would need the energy for the day's challenges!

From now on, she had decided, she wouldn't be a loser anymore! She would teach Sister Shakti one thing or two! 'Make your own path', huh? Well, she would use her own words against her!

The girl jumped down from the bed, grinning while looking through the window and towards the school. The events from the day before yesterday had changed the whole situation in a very interesting way!

If Sister Shakti didn't want to allow her a Pactio, she would get her Pactio elsewhere, then impress everyone so much with her mastery over it, even the Sister herself would be clapping.

Hopefully, it would be something useful enough to oneshot everyone before she had to fight, too. Eh, it was worth a try anyway.

By now, she knew a mage when she saw one in action. That stunt with the eraser could have fooled her classmates, but not her! A young plump chicken had just arrived the farm, ready for the plucking! The only thing she had to do was to get him before someone else could, but that was no problem, right? As if anyone had both the knowledge *and* the interest needed for it. Iinchou was as clueless about the magic world as they came, and the rest of the class wasn't much better.

Kasuga Misora looked into her mirror, giving her image a smirk and a wink.

She was able to make sacrifices for her goals, too.

* * *

><p>Hakase found a lot more eyes fixed on her when she walked into the classroom that morning than usual.<p>

It was enough to make even her, a student who never was self-aware about her physical appearance at all, to pause and take note, feeling her skirt and shirt all over, awkwardly.

"What?" she asked. "I don't believe there is anything wrong with it. Chisame helped me with it, and—"

"Your clothes are alright!" Fumika chirped on.

"That isn't the issue right now!" Fuuka added.

"We heard Negi-sensei is living with you two!" Sakurako bluntly put it out from her seat.

"Ah. That," Satomi said, unconcerned. "Yes, neither he nor Chisame will be coming today, I'm afraid. They are suffering from the effects of a sudden illness—"

"Sensei is ill?" Ayaka jumped up from her chair.

"Nothing too critical, I should hope" Hakase's voice remained fully the same, somewhat spaced out as usual, as she sat down next to Chachamaru to run her routine checkup. "I believe a single day of rest should allow them to recover enough to come tomorrow."

"But then it's true!" Misa pointed out. "You're living together after all!"

"I always knew Hasegawa was a magnet for the bad luck," Asuna mumbled from where she sat with her face half buried between her arms, which were crossed over her desk.

"What did you do for it?" Chizuru asked.

"Huh? Why, nothing. Shizuna-sensei told us they were orders from the Dean, but they never specified the reasons behind that decision," Hakase was finding hard to move around with so many girls gathered around her. "Could you please allow me some more room? I need freedom of movement for this task. You never had seemed that eager to socialize with me before..."

Ignoring her, Asakura Kazumi whipped her microphone out again. "Hey, Hakase-chan! Where's Sensei sleeping?"

"Hadn't I made it clear by now?" Satomi asked, slightly annoyed while trying to apply some oil on the left elbow of the always stoical robot. "He is staying at our dorm, right at the B-wing of the—"

"I don't mean that!" the redhead exclaimed. "I mean at which part of your home is he sleeping!"

"Oh, you should have started by saying that," Hakase shook her head. "Well, we only have one bedroom, so he has been forced to share it with us..."

A collective squeal was heard through the whole classroom, making Yue, Evangeline, Mana, Asuna and Setsuna to cringe.

"You're sleeping in the same room! How daring!" Yuuna chuckled.

"H-How improper, you mean!" Ayaka fumed at the verge of a stroke.

"I never expected it from you guys," Misa grinned evilly.

"Well, you know what they say about the quiet ones," Haruna shared, making Yue to scowl and Nodoka to blush and make a fearful face.

"It isn't that bad. Sensei has a futon of his own," Hakase, always nearly oblivious, continued her sacred task, undaunted.

"How close to your beds?" Yuuna wiggled her eyebrows and nudged Hakase's ribs with a playful elbow.

"At the opposite side of the room, actually," Hakase replied absently. "For some reason, though, that didn't stop him from sleepwalking to Chisame's bed last night..."

She finally turned to look back at the others after she heard a collective, nearly deafening, shriek of fawning coming out from most of her classmates. "... What? What did I say?"

"You guys are sickos!" Asuna commented with evident disgust.

"Chisame-chan's got a whole lap edge on this race already!" Fuuka laughed.

"A race for what?" Hakase blinked.

"And here I thought she'd be the last one to get a boyfriend!" Madoka shared.

"A boyfriend?" Satomi was puzzled.

"C'mon, Professor!" Misa stared straight into her eyes. "Not even you can be that absent-minded!"

The class waited for a few minutes while Satomi just stared back, silently analyzing their words until inspiration finally struck.

"He is still rather extremely young to be considered as an object of romantic affection, or to be interested on such pursuits himself," the scientist finally stated, flat and coldly.

"What has she just said?" Asuna asked Yue.

"She said he's only a child, and they are pedos," Yue surmised.

"Oh. I thought so, but I wanted to be sure," Asuna nodded. "Yeah, for once I agree with Miss Smartypants."

Chao patted her science friend on a shoulder almost maternally. "Satomi, Satomi, Satomi. Keeping an analytic, rational mind is okay, of course, but every once in a while, you have to look past that, neh?"

"She's right," Misa nodded emphatically. "God, you're such a cold fish!"

Ayaka finally regained enough sense from her shock to bring some semblance of order back, slamming a hand several times down against the teacher's desk. "Regardless! Until this whole ugly affair is sorted out, Negi-sensei's health must be our main concern! As the Class President, I say we should enlist a commission headed by me to visit him today after classes! The poor child must be suffering all alone—"

"He's with Chisame," Hakase reminded her.

"—all alone..." Ayaka repeated herself. "That, I cannot allow to continue! As a matter of fact, perhaps we should go right now!"

Satomi remembered Chisame's warnings to not allow anyone at all to go visit them. Both to protect Chiu's secret, and to protect anyone else from suffering the effects of the dreaded Stripping Sneeze.

The threat of a fist being held against her nose so closely had been enough to firmly mark itself into her normally vacant and forgetful mind.

"Um, actually, we are under technical quarantine," Satomi quickly said. "Their illness, while not harmful, is highly contagious, and, um, the Headmaster prohibited anyone but medically trained help from entering our rooms!"

"Really?" Konoka blinked. "Ne, Asuna! Maybe if I talk with him, he would allow us to—".

"Y-You shouldn't!" Hakase's eyes widened.

"Yeah, you shouldn't, Konoka," Asuna groaned. "It isn't worth risking your health."

From her seat, Setsuna nodded more eagerly than she would have liked to, without really noticing it.

"Um, if that's the case, maybe I could go?" Izumi Ako shyly pointed out. "As a school nurse, I believe it's my duty. I could bring them some medicine..."

"Your health's too frail, Ako," Akira reminded her gently. "You shouldn't overexpose yourself."

A laugh came from another seat, making Ayaka to give its occupant a killer icy glare. "What is so funny, Kasuga-san?"

Misora grinned at her. "If that's the case, I'll be the one to go! I have an iron health, and my Order's vows include caring over the sick! I don't have anything better to do today, so I'll be glad to help!"

The Class Rep doubted. "You...? That's very unlike you. Since when are you that eager to help?"

"C'mon, Iinchou!" the shorter girl requested. "Cut me some slack, okay? I'm not that bad a person. What, are you afraid I could try something indecent with him? You know I couldn't possibly do that!"

Ayaka hesitated, unwilling to grant Misora's permission but also unable to shoot her points down in public. With all eyes fixed on her now, she had no choice but relenting.

"Very well. However, Kasuga-san, rest assured, if I ever learned someone attempted to pull ANY sort of ill-spirited prank or practical gag on Negi-sensei AGAIN—"

She towered over Misora, giving her a psychotic stare that reminded Kasuga too much of Sister Shakti for her liking.

"—that person would regret it very dearly afterwards, don't you agree?"

Misora nodded with a gulp. "Oh, yes, you are so right!"

The beautiful heiress broke into a cheerful and pure smile then. "In that case, it's decided! You will act as our class ambassador of good will today and deliver Izumi-san's medicine to our beloved Sensei! We are all counting on you!"

Hakase was about to protest clumsily, but then the classroom's door was opened from the outside, and in walked the tall and handsome figure of Professor Takahata Takamichi.

"Good morning, class," the man greeted politely. "Today, Negi-sensei will be unable to teach his classes, so Headmaster Konoe asked me to cover for him by moving my Arts lessons—". He paused. "Asuna-kun? Asuna-kun, are you feeling okay?"

The Baka Red nodded quickly, sucking her tears of happiness back. She only hoped that sound of glee she had just made had not been too dirty sounding at all.

Although the way the other girls were looking at her now wasn't too promising in that regard.

* * *

><p>"Here you go," Chisame said as she placed the bowl of soup on the small table, right before him. "Eat it while it's still hot," she added, evenly, sitting down to serve herself her own bowl.<p>

"Thank you," Negi nodded humbly, then put his hands together and muttered a brief prayer in English, keeping his eyes closed. Chisame watched him with distant curiosity as he did that, then to start eating in a way very unlike that of a normal child. It was elegant and polite, without being too refined or prissy.

"Do you like it?" the older girl asked, mainly because of sheer formality.

"It is very good, yes," he smiled, nodding at her before rubbing his reddened nose with a napkin. Now that had been a gesture more fitting a child. Satisfied with that last relative bit of normalcy, Chisame began eating her soup as well.

It was average, all things considered, the boy thought as he continued his dinner, but it was the thought that mattered. No one could ever cook like Nekane, but Miss Hasegawa had tried, and she had done it for him, right? That was more than enough for him.

"Um... Forgive my question, Hasegawa-san..." he hesitated between sips.

"Yeah?"

"N-Nothing. Forget it."

She gave him a sharp glare. "No. What is it?"

"It's nothing, really..."

"Good. Then share it," she dryly demanded. "It won't hurt, right?"

"Well, I was just asking myself a few things... About this Academy, for instance. I had heard it was a mixed one, but most of the students almost everywhere seem to be girls. Some classes, like our own, are made of nothing but girls..."

"Takahata-sensei didn't tell you? Well, I guess it's been a short time since you arrived," she took a small bite of her bread. "Mahora used to be a fully feminine academy. It only was relatively few years ago that changed. Male students are still somewhat of a minority."

"Ah."

"Which other things were in your mind, Sensei?" she didn't relent, fixing her eyes on him again.

"Nah, nothing else," he fidgeted again. "That was all."

The girl scowled. "Has anyone ever told you you're horrible at lying? No wonder they uncover your secret all the time."

"Okay, okay!" he submitted. "I, um, just was wondering about your family."

"My family?"

"Well, yes... You see, err, a teacher is supposed to have some grasp of his students' background, to—".

"Even at that, you're weird," Chisame poked the air with her spoon in his direction. "Any normal teacher would just wait until the parents' meeting. But fine, I'll tell you. My mother died when I was too young to remember her all that well, but my father is alive and well, although I rarely see him anymore," she said indifferently. "I also have an older sister, studying at Nekomi Tech Institute, but again, she's mostly a non issue. And I have an older brother studying over at the Combined High School, and a younger sister who lives with him, too. How about you? You mentioned a promise to your father yesterday. Was he the one who sent you here?"

Negi looked down, struck back by the question, although not much since he was mostly expecting it after asking her about her relatives. Still, it pained him. Why had he asked her in the first place? he wondered. The Magus was right; he still had a lot to learn.

"Ah, not exactly..." he denied with his head. "S-Sorry to hear about your mother…"

She narrowed his eyes, trying to read his fumbling expressions. Had she just touched a sensitive nerve? Was she supposed to feel bad about it? Before anything else could be said or thought, however, Hakase had arrived, without announcing herself, as usual.

"Ah, Hakase-san!" Negi had quickly latched on the chance to change the subject. "Welcome home—"

His jaw, as well as Chisame's, fell as they saw someone else walking in right behind Satomi, grinning mischievously at them. It was a young woman in a nun's habit, carrying a large basket covered with a blanket in a hand.

"We aren't bad enough to need last rites!" Chisame raised her voice while standing up.

"Waiiiii!" Satomi cringed back. "I'm sorry! Iinchou-san insisted on her coming with me!"

Chisame's annoyed glare now fell fully on the nun. "And why? Who are you?"

"Hasegawa-san, please, those aren't—" Negi began to intervene before scratching his nose wildly, in a frantic attempt to calm the itching before it forced him to sneeze.

The nun simply stared widely at Chisame. "... You don't recognize me?"

The girl with the large glasses scowled. The voice seemed familiar to some degree, but... "Should I?"

"It's me! Misora! Kasuga Misora!" the young nun protested, pulling her veil down to reveal a head full of short, spiky and rebellious brown hair.

"Kasuga?" Chisame blinked several times. "Why are you disguised like that?"

"THIS ISN'T A DISGUISE! I HAVE TAKEN PRELIMINARY VOWS AT THE LOCAL CHURCH! Sheesh, if you didn't spend all your time locked down here, you might know that!" With her humor spoiled, Misora plopped herself down at the other side of the table, rather nonchalantly.

"If this is any sort of setup for a prank..." Chisame began, but Negi cut her words short, bowing to the visitor.

"Student Number Nine of the list, right?" he said. "It's a honor to have you here, but, umm, we are somewhat sick in here, and—"

Misora smirked at him. "Relax, Negi-sensei! That's exactly why I'm here! I brought you some medicaments from Izumi Ako, plus some old remedies of our order! With them, I guarantee you'll be like new in no time at all!"

"That's very kind from you! Thanks a lot!" Negi beamed happily.

"Yes, yes, it is," Chisame softly tapped a foot on the floor. "Thanks, but I think you'd better get going now. For your own good. Believe me, you don't want Sensei sneezing on you..."

Misora laughed waving her concerns away. "I think I can survive a little meager cold!"

"Trust me, you would feel a lot of cold... I mean, that cold a lot," Chisame snarked.

Ignoring her, Misora simply looked all around the living room, until her eyes caught what she was looking for. A magical staff lying on the sofa.

"Say, Sensei!" she sprang back to her feet and walked to it, grabbing it to examine it carefully. "I've been meaning to ask... why do you carry this thing around? A souvenir from your homeland?"

Negi paled, feeling a sudden knot in his throat. All three girls noticed it easily, each one pausing in her own way to look at him. Misora panicked inside. Had she revealed her interest way too soon?

Then he breathed out aloud, seeming to relax again, somewhat resigned.

"From my Father, actually," he confessed. "The only thing I have been left from him."

"Oh?" Misora asked.

"It's... nothing at all" Negi attempted to wave it off. "Really. I... He just..."

Misora knelt down at his side, smiling kindly while caressing his right cheek with a hand. "I'm sorry. I didn't know. Are you an orphan? We never are fully orphaned as long as we stay under our heavenly Father's—"

"M-My father isn't dead!" Negi reacted rather abruptly.

Chisame blinked, showing slight facial signs of concern. "Sensei?"

"I haven't seen him in a long while, but... I know he's alive, somewhere out there" he said, firmly.

Misora's face was one of shock for a moment, but then she smiled again, deciding to file the matter away for now. "Of course he is," she replied, renewing her smile.

* * *

><p>The medicine seemed to actually have made quite a good effect on Negi, Chisame silently observed as she watched the boy happily talking with Misora at the other end of the table. He hadn't attempted to sneeze in almost a full hour by now, and even Chisame herself was feeling somewhat better after drinking some of Ako's remedies as well. Between them and the secret virtual idol, Hakase was absorbed into her own world like always, fixing some sort of remote control.<p>

"I didn't know a nun in training had so much to do, Kasuga-san," the young teacher was commenting, mildly awed by Misora's no doubt somewhat exaggerated tales.

"Oh, and you don't even know the half of it yet, Sensei!" the tomboyish looking girl said in a joking tone. If only they had known how honest that last statement was...

"I'd love to visit your Church this weekend" he asked. "Can I go even if I'm not a Catholic?"

"Of course you can!" Kasuga laughed it off. "So, what's your religion, Sensei?"

"I, um..." he seemed to hesitate now, "... I suppose you could say I'm... Anglican."

"I see," Misora grinned with a knowing glint in her eyes. "How about you, Chisame-chan?"

"Shintoist," the longer haired girl replied automatically, out of habit despite not visiting a shrine ever since New Year. "And don't call me 'Chisame-chan'."

"You need to revel more in the divine love we all should share, Chisame-chan," the prankster commented, then tilted her head towards the third female. "And you, Professor?"

None of them expected Satomi to actually be aware of what they were talking about, but much to their surprise, the mad genius answered without missing a beat. "Atheist."

Misora blinked. "Atheist?"

Negi was impacted as well. It was almost unheard of to meet some familiar with the existence of magic, and yet unwilling to believe in some sort of deity.

"I believe every aspect of existence, even those we could consider to be 'supernatural', to be perfectly explainable through sheer scientific reasoning," Hakase answered, as calmed as ever. "There is no need to believe in higher powers of an otherwordly origin behind the fabric of the universe."

Misora made a face. "I should have expected that from you, but somehow, I wanted to think better."

"There is no shame on it," Hakase almost shrugged her shoulders casually.

Chisame glanced at the wall clock. "I think it's getting late. Don't you have any kind of curfew at your convent?"

"Nah, it's alright" Misora waved a hand. "I only work there part-time. The rest of the time, I share a normal room with my friend Cocone-chan. I guess it IS getting late, though." She stood up, pulling the veil back on her head. "I should get going."

Negi stood up as well. "Do you want company on your way there? It's very dark outside, and—"

"No, I'll be fine! You, on the other hand..." Kasuga interrupted him, "Well, it IS very cool out there, too, and I don't want you to catch another cold. Well, we'll continue talking tomorrow, okay?"

She winked an eye playfully at him.

"Sure! See you then!" he smiled with glee at her.

The novice skipped gracefully towards the front door, waving her goodbyes to the other two girls. "Bye bye, Chisame-chan, Professor!"

"Bye" Hakase nodded absently, still working on her remote.

"Don't call me 'Chisame-chan,'," Chisame repeated herself while seeing her going away. "Honestly. What a troublesome person."

"Ah? I thought she was very kind and charming," Negi looked up at her.

"Well, I suppose there's no account for taste," Hasegawa muttered, looking aside and guiding him in. "Come on, you'd better go to bed early tonight, if you really want to be in any shape to work tomorrow."

"I am!" he nodded, full with vitality again. "Thanks to Kasuga-san's medicines!"

"I wouldn't be shocked if ALL of them came from Izumi," Chisame announced. "Kasuga loves to take the credit for others' work. You don't know her like I do."

"You didn't even know she was a nun," Satomi quietly pointed out.

"Did you?" Chisame shot back at her.

The black haired girl made a pause before saying, "Point duly noted."

Negi smiled before looking through the window and into the direction Kasuga had taken in her way out. Truly, he was noticing, his students seemed to be all wonderful in their own different ways.

He was so lucky.

* * *

><p>Misora gladly walked her way through the Mahora Campus boulevards, at a fast yet relaxed pace.<p>

It had been a great recognition mission. She had learned a lot about her target. He was easy to impress, easy to influence, overly eager to please those around him, especially young ladies. No doubt, she could get a Pactio from him before too long.

And yet, now she almost felt bad over using him, as well. He had seemed so sad when mentioning his father...

What would be the big deal with him? Misora wondered. She was having second thoughts on not asking in depth about him. Springfield... hadn't she ever heard about some mage named Springfield before? There were some stories; she tried to remember, frowning to herself.

Ah, yes. Sister Shakti had once said the actual name of the Thousand Master was Springfield, hadn't she? The thought brought a chill upon Misora's spine.

The Thousand Master. The rumors said he had been the one to defeat the scourge of Misora's childhood nightmares. The one her caretakers had mentioned so often in their attempts to scare her straight. The Vampire Witch, with her long and sharp bloody fangs, always thirsty for the vital fluids of young maidens...

The Dark Evangel.

The long repressed memory made Misora to clatter her teeth and quicken her pace. There was something chillier into the wind now, she decided, with her heart beating faster. She almost could feel an ill omen dancing in the icy breeze, and it was nearly as if she was being watched from some point at the shadows.

Misora broke into a real sprint now, making her way across the deserted nocturnal campus, hoping to reach the safety of her dorm soon. She was sure it was only her imagination, but even so, it felt too vivid and real for her liking.

Finally, the dorm was at sight in the distance, and she breathed easier, slowing down again. She had covered a lot of distance in a very short (even if her tension had made it to seem eternal) time, but that was expected from a track and field team member.

Misora chuckled to herself about her own pathetic fears. She only was glad Sister Shakti and Cocone couldn't see her now. Cocone surely was asleep by now, wouldn't she? A good night of sleep sounded just right now, Misora decided. But first a hot bath, and—

Then something dark and small, wrapped in a huge cape as black as the night, jumped down from the cherry trees and into her way, blocking her path.

Misora only had time to step back and shriek in panic.

Then those inhuman sharp eyes glinted in the darkness, and a petite hand quickly reached out to forcefully grab her by the chest and slam her back against a tree's trunk.

Then everything went pitch black.

* * *

><p>The earliest sunlight beams fell through the window and into Chisame's face, making her to sit up rubbing her eyes and mumbling to herself. Then, caught by a sudden ill feeling, she quickly looked at her side, only to breathe easier at seeing no one there.<p>

Good, maybe the brat was starting to get a clue and know his place after all. Chisame smiled at her accomplishment; in only two nights, she had managed to cure him from that bad habit of slipping into her bed.

Pleased at such a well done job, the girl climbed back down the stairs to take a look into Satomi's bunk... and then to make a wild take.

Hakase was lying on her back, head slightly tilted aside, drooling a bit out of a corner of her lips, arms and legs open wide. And Negi was sleeping at her side, curled up into a small ball, his hands clutching her body in a tight hug, his head resting under one of her armpits.

Chisame's head sunk down in frustration.

* * *

><p>"Please, Chisame, like I have had to remind you several times before, he is still just a child!" the scientist was still declaring as they approached Class 2-A's door. "I truly still fail to see why you and the rest raise such a ruckus over it."<p>

The taller girl still scowled as she quickly walked next to a sheepish looking Negi. "Good manners must be taught from the cradle! You may understand a lot about machines, but next to nothing about people!"

Satomi rolled her eyes around. What was the big deal everyone was making about the child? She just couldn't wrap her head around it. To her, it barely was different from picking a puppy up and raising it. While it taught you English. So what if he decided to share some occasional sleeping space with her? "That is fully inconsequential" she mused aloud. "He already seems rather polite in the areas that truly do matter. Sensei, can you understand the root of the problem better than I do?"

"Eh, maybe it's better not to talk about it for now," he sweated under Hasegawa's stern glare. "I promise to try and stay quiet tonight, okay?"

Chisame only mumbled a vague reply before stopping right before the door. "Is there something wrong?" her teacher asked.

"I have a vague feeling more than half of them will be trying to stab me in the back as soon as I walk in," she confided reluctantly.

"Oh, come on!" Negi laughed. "Why would they do that?"

"You don't know enough about the way most jealous teenagers behave yet, do you?" Chisame drew in as much breath as she could before taking the plunge and walking in.

Much to her surprise, however, she found most of the class gathered in a semi circle around Ayaka, debating about something and sporting concerned expressions. As soon as she saw Negi, however, the Class Rep left her spot to race to his encounter, wrapping him into a tight hug.

"Oh my God, Negi-sensei! Thanks all Heavens you are okay! We were about to go looking for you!" she exclaimed joyfully.

"What? Why?" he blinked helplessly. "Has something bad happened?"

"Haven't they told you yet?" Makie asked. "It was horrible!"

_"Kasuga-san was apparently attacked after leaving your dorm last night," _Nodoka whispered, keeping her gaze low.

"What!?" the boy gasped in terror, while behind him, Chisame stiffened up in place and Hakase blinked without a clue. "How? Is she okay? Who did it?"

"They found her early this morning, unconscious under a cherry tree near her dorm," Natsumi informed. "As soon as she heard about it, Asakura-san ran outside to investigate."

"Shizuna-sensei said she wasn't seriously injured or anything, though," Asuna gave him a glare. "Maybe YOU just contagied her with something and she fainted."

"She seemed completely healthy when she left," Hakase pondered thoughtfully. "The way I see it, it'd have taken her at least a few hours of viral incubation to actually manifest serious symptoms."

"Where is Kasuga-san now?" Negi asked, struggling free from Ayaka's grip.

"At the medical wing with Sagisawa-sensei," Ako answered. "I, I could guide you there if you—!"

"I'll find my way, thanks!" Negi bowed to her before quickly writing a few indications on the chalkboard. "I'll come back as soon as I can! In the meanwhile, read the text from pages 35 to 38, and if you have any doubts, just ask, um—"

"Chao," the class chorused pointing at their top student.

"Yes, her!" Negi nodded very fast. "I'll be back as soon as I can!" He excused himself before running outside as fast as his short legs could carry him.

"... He's going in the opposite direction," Mana delivered dryly.

"Let him," Asuna groaned indifferently.

"Maybe we should go with him," Konoka was worried.

"You heard Shizuna," Yuuna said. "We aren't allowed to get in there. I wonder why so much secrecy about it."

"It must be the vampire!" Misa pointed out.

"Vampire?" Satomi asked.

Misa sighed. "Oh, you are always the last one to learn those things, aren't you? Don't you remember the scandal a few weeks ago? About the vampire who attacked one of 3-A's students right after she settled back from vacations and into her room?"

"You mean Miyamoto-san, the politician's daughter?" Akira asked.

"Yeah, her," Misa nodded. "Takagi-san from 2-B is a friend of hers, and she told me she had been bitten in the neck after being knocked out."

"EEEEEKKKK!" Fuuka and Fumika shuddered.

Misa loomed over them, opening her mouth and letting her tongue to hang out, all the while grinning in a perverse way. "The only thing Miyamoto-san could see was someone wearing a wide black cape, like Dracula... Then she was feeling weak and ill for days afterwards. Who knows? Maybe the vampire stole her soul besides her blood..."

"AHHHHHHH!" the twins hugged each other.

"Misa!" Asuna scolded her. "How can you believe something as stupid as that?"

"Ah, yes? Then what do you think it was?" the lead cheerleader retorted.

"I dunno. Maybe a wild dog or something."

"What kind of wild dog attack goes like that?"

"Heh, heh, heh..." Haruna chuckled, leaning back on her chair with her arms crossed. "You just don't know anything, do you? Saying a vampire can exist is just as ridiculous as saying a dog could catch up to Misora, then suck her blood off. The responsible of this only can be a creature whose existence has been proved by science. A hideous being who has stalked several parts of the world for years now, maybe after coming from outer space..."

"What the heck are you talking about?" Asuna asked her.

"Why, I mean—" Haruna stood up and proclaimed, "THE CHUPACABRAS! Scourge of the lonely South American jungles! Killer of cattle and small children! A vicious animal hellbent on sucking the blood out of any victim that crosses its path!"

"NOOOOO!" the twins began to cry out.

"That's even dumber!" Asuna protested. "What kind of idiot could believe such a thing? Even if that critter existed, what would it be doing at Japan?"

"Learning that is our sacred mission to uphold" Haruna stated rather grimly, walking up to draw something at the chalkboard. "Indeed, to stop this lunacy before more of us perish—"

"NO ONE HAS PERISHED YET!" Asuna and Ayaka yelled at once.

"—We must find and capture the beast! Hopefully earning fame and fortune as secondary, but very welcomed, side benefits!" Haruna finished drawing what seemed to be a cross between an overgrown potato and Godzilla. "This is, according to most reports, what a Chupacabras would look like—"

Ayaka forcefully shoved an eraser into the mangaka's hands. "Erase it. Now," she commanded.

"But we must identify the enemy if we want to neutralize it!" Haruna said.

"The only thing you want to neutralize are Sensei's study orders!" Ayaka told her.

"And besides, it's absolutely pointless to believe there is a Chupacabras around here," Yue said.

"Then what else could it be?" Haruna questioned.

Zazie, for once, seemed to look at the others for a moment then. That, on itself, made them to look back at her in turn, suddenly silenced by the lazy stare of those strange golden eyes. Their shock only grew when the dark skinned girl opened her mouth and spoke a single, softly pronounced word.

"Batman."

"Ah, it's true!" Sakurako chirped. "That explains the black cape!"

"Batman doesn't exist, though, does he?" Madoka looked doubtfully at Misa.

"I think it's only an American urban legend," Misa answered.

"Listen to yourselves, will you?" Asuna despaired. "Next you'll be saying Superman-sama did it!"

Chisame muttered angrily at their antics, while attempting her best to remain distant and focus into her laptop.

Satomi, meanwhile, was busy taking Chachamaru's routine report while noticing the absence of an important factor.

"Chachamaru?"

"Yes?" the gynoid softly asked.

"Where's Eva-san today?"

"She was having a... stomach ache this morning. She said she would be taking the day off," the robot reported.

"As expected from Eva," Asuna shook her head. "It's unfair she gets that favoritism. Man, if we only dared to skip half the classes she misses—"

"Mmmmm," Satomi made a thoughtful sound briefly, before just nodding and taking her latest lectures of her creation's mechanical body.

Chao watched them silently, wondering what turn the events would take next.

* * *

><p>The medical bay was completely still and quiet when Negi walked in, leaving both Sister Shakti and Chief Nurse Sagisawa Yohko behind.<p>

Sister Shakti had seemed polite and formal enough to Negi, but she still seemed to be somewhat uneasy and forced in his presence. Negi was naive to some degree, but it had been clear enough for even him to notice it. Then again, of course, he had pretended not even realizing it.

Sagisawa-sensei gave him a warning him before leading him into the struck girl's room. "The Student Council President is with her right now, and she is a bit... excitable, so please don't mention anything about responsibilities on this subject to her. She's likely to start blaming you or herself, but either way, she could do it... harshly."

Negi nodded. "Of course. I understand."

As he stepped in, he saw an also beautiful (it seemed the Area Eleven was unable to breed ugly females, Negi thought for an appreciative moment) and tall, well built young woman with very long black hair and thick eyebrows, wearing a special all white version of the Mahora High female uniform, with shiny golden buttons and boots with quite high heels. She sat in silence next to the lying Kasuga Misora, holding one of her limp hands, until she quickly realize she was being watched, upon which she carefully left the hand at the sickly girl's side and stood up with aplomb and even haughtiness. A small girl with long dark hair and deeply tanned skin sat on a chair at the other side of Misora's bed, holding her right hand. Her eyes were huge, deep and sad, but the rest of her face conveyed no expression at all.

"Ahh… Kiryuin Satsuki-sama, I assume?" Negi gulped, "P-Pleased to meet you, albeit I wish it could have been under better circumstances. My name is Negi Springfield, Kasuga-san's homeroom teacher. You can be certain we will do our best to capture those responsible..."

"You better will," the young woman with the brushy eyebrows said, with a voice that was pure iron. "And so will we, no matter what." Without a single more word, she briskly walked past Negi and disappeared from sight.

Negi shuddered, faintly impressed by her intensity for a moment. Then he reassumed a cold efficiency as he took the chair beside his student's bed.

Misora herself looked pale and haunted, a far cry from last night's happy go lucky girl. And yet, she smiled at him when she saw him again.

"Sensei," she spoke softly. "Ah, you came early. I'm glad."

"Don't force yourself too much." With a hand, he gestured for her to stay down. "Are you feeling better now?"

"Yeah," she nodded, and then nudged her head towards the smaller girl, who now was looking at Negi with the same enigmatic, melancholic stare. "Hey, you two haven't met yet, have you? Sensei, she's my roommate, Cocone Fatima Rosa. Cocone-chan, he's Negi Springfield, my new homeroom teacher."

"Ah, it's a pleasure to meet you, Cocone-san!" Negi bowed to the little girl.

"Yes," the tiny female said with a barely audible, diminutive voice, in words that were as brief as they could. "Same here."

"She isn't big on conversations, but she's a huge help with everything else," Misora chuckled, running a hand fondly though Cocone's hair.

"I'll leave you alone now," Cocone whispered, standing up and going for the door. Before going out, she gave Misora another stare and the briefest hint of a possible smile, then closed the door shut behind her.

Negi stared into her direction even then.

"I asked her for it in case you came," Misora shared, keeping her voice low.

Negi gave her a concerned look. "Is there anything you need to tell me in private?"

"Yes," Misora nodded. "It's about last night."

"Did you get to see who did it?"

"Barely," Misora shuddered, suddenly gripped by fear. "She was dark, with evil eyes, and long fangs..."

"She?" Negi blinked.

"Yes. I'm sure it was the Vampire Witch, the Messenger of Darkness, the Mistress of Puppets," Kasuga bit her lower lip. "It had to be her. The legends tell of her unending thirst for blood, spreading terror at her wake. The Dark Evangel..."

The boy tensed up. "H-how do you know about those legends?"

She gave him a more personal stare, lowering her voice even more as she held his right hand in hers. "It's because I'm a mage, too," she said. "I knew you were a wizard from the moment I met you. Don't panic; your secret is safe with me as long as mine is safe with you... Heck, actually, there isn't a reason for it to be a secret between the two of us, anyway!"

"I-I-I guess there isn't!" he stammered, before realizing maybe he had just admitted too much. "Oh, um, I mean—"

"I'm not tricking you," she insisted, lifting an index finger to show him the suddenly summoned tiny flame dancing on the top of it. "I'm still a beginner, okay, but I know pretty much all the basics of the trade. They told me everything there is to know about it since before I learned how to read."

Negi paused and gulped. Hakase-san, Kasuga-san, probably Lingshen-san as well...

"Exactly how many others at the class already know about magic?" he whispered back.

"As far as I know... no one but me. Why?"

He laughed uneasily. "Huh, it's nothing! I just felt I had to ask—"

"Forget the other students!" Misora urged him. She shook the finger and the flame died down. "One of the things they always warned me about was the thing that attacked me last night. Fifteen years ago, a legendary sorcerer supposedly defeated her, but now, I'm convinced she's back". She gave him a deeper look. "Sensei, be very careful. If she has chosen to appear at this exact time, it might be because she's gunning for you."

"Ehhh?" he recoiled. "Why me?"

Misora attempted to read his confused face. Didn't he know exactly who had beaten the Dark Evangel? Then again, judging from the way Sister Shakti handled it as such a secret, maybe it was better not to tell him yet. The last thing she wanted on the wake of being bitten by a vampire was being massacred by her superiors.

Instead, she bared her neck to Negi. "Look here. Sister Shakti used a healing spell on the bite marks, but they still should be there. They have started to vanish, but they are going away very slowly..."

"EHHH!" he gasped. "Sister Shakti is a mage too?"

She hastily covered his mouth with a hand. "Not! So! Loud!" she cringed, giving a fearful brief glimpse at the door before sighing and releasing his mouth. "I'm not sure she wants you to know, since she's very stuck up about the rules, so don't tell her I told you, okay?"

"Okay," he nodded.

She grabbed him by the shoulders and smiled. "Good boy."

"But, about my other question—"

Misora hushed him with a finger over his lips and a wink of an eye. "I'll tell you more later," she teased. "For now, however, go back with the others. The Sister will soon walk in if she thinks you're taking too long with me."

"Right," he nodded, bowing to her again as he stood up. "Get better soon, please. I have many things I want to ask you about."

"So do I," she smirked. "So do I, Sensei."

She watched him walking out, and then she breathed deeper. Thinking more about it, she wasn't sure it was so much of a good idea, to make a Pactio with him if the vampire was after him in the long run.

And yet, she thought, looking at her right hand, which still felt so warm, almost as if she still was touching his soft skin, another part of her, for some reason she couldn't understand, now wanted it even more than before.

* * *

><p>It was already getting more or less dark when Negi left the school for the day with Chisame, Hakase being gone to her club activities once more. However, that particular afternoon, they were stopped by the sudden appearance on their way of a tall spiky haired redhead.<p>

"Ah!" the boy blinked, quickly remembering her name. "Asakura Kazumi-san, student number three, right?"

"That's right!" the big breasted girl nodded with a wide smile. "Hoo-hoo, it's so nice to see you caught on my name so quickly, Sensei!"

"He has memorized the whole class' list by now," Chisame replied dryly, just to make her feel somewhat less special. "Listen, if this is another attempt to pry into our private lives—"

"Hey, there's no need to get that stingy, Chisame-chan!" Kazumi said. "We all know there has to be something juicy beyond your thick wall of secrets, especially now you're living with a young man..." she chuckled in a rather unnerving way, making both of the others to blush crimson, "But even that can wait for now! All other news have paled in comparison to the dreaded Vampire of Mahora!"

"Are you believing those idiotic crazy theories of Saotome and Kakizaki, too?" Chisame huffed.

"Well, I'm not saying they are true yet, but a good reporter can't discard any option until they have been proved fake" the taller girl defended herself. "Did you know I write for the school newspaper, Sensei?"

"Yes, I did," he quickly nodded. As a matter of fact, one of the first things Takahata had told him about the class was she was the one he should be the most wary about learning his secret.

"Good, then you know I'm obliged to show the truth about any mystery that can happen at this school," the young paparazzi stated. "Especially when it can be a threat to everyone's safety, don't you agree?"

"And that excused you to skip classes today, naturally" Chisame said with a lot of calm.

"Naturally" Kazumi agreed. "I went to investigate at the place where they found Misora. There were no signs of struggle, nor any footprints or traces anywhere. It's almost as if the attacker just flew in, then flew out. Really weird, I tell you. And it's far from being the first weird thing I have seen here."

"Other than the robot, the childlike teenagers, the suicidal teacher, the girl carrying a giant sword to classes, and Rainyday, you mean?" Hasegawa asked quite ironically.

"I mean 'weird' like in 'supernatural'", Kazumi seemed a bit annoyed now. "I'm being serious now! Sensei, if I tell you something that has bugged me for a few years now, do you promise you won't laugh at me?"

"I wouldn't ever laugh at a student's troubles!" Negi solemnly promised, in a tone that would have been inspiring if it hadn't come in a child's voice.

"I make no promises," Chisame flatly added.

"Oh, as if you ever could laugh," Kazumi snipped, then told Negi, "As you may know by now, we have used the same classroom for years, grade after grade, even as some students come and go. But through all that time, the seat next to mine has always been empty. Always. No matter what."

"I think it must be a humanitarian mission. Not to allow anyone to sit next to you, ever. I'd bet it has saved many people a lot of grief," Chisame's deadpan delivery became unusually sharp.

Kazumi shot her an angry stare, but continued focusing her own words on Negi. "The weird part is, often, I can feel there is someone sitting there. Do you ever get that feeling you are being watched? I get it all the time. And sometimes, when I walk very close to that seat, I can feel an icy snap running up my spine..."

"Oh, dear," Negi blinked.

"It must be your imagination," Chisame suggested. "I have walked next to it, and I've never felt anything. Neither has Hakase".

"Yuuna has felt it, though," Kazumi confided them. "She sits behind that seat, and she has had some strange sensations at times, too, although not as often as me. I don't say it has to be something supernatural, mind you, but there must be some explanation behind it".

"And do you think it could have some connection to the recent attacks?" the teacher asked.

"Maybe," Asakura shrugged. "It's what I want to discover now. All I know is Seat Number One used to belong to someone named 'Aisaka Sayo', but I've found no files or information on her. Even Bookstore-chan and her pals haven't found anything in their libraries".

"Bookstore-chan?" Negi blinked.

"Miyazaki Nodoka," Chisame supplied.

"Oh".

"Maybe you can learn something I cannot with your connections to the other teachers, though," Kazumi told him. "Please, Sensei, could you do that for me?"

"Yes, I'll do some research on my own side," he promised. "If I learn something, I'll let you know about it!"

"What a dearie!" Kazumi chuckled coyly, ruffling his hair.

"Hey, respect me, please! I'm your teacher!"

"Ha ha ha!" the redhead laughed. "Don't be so stiff, Teach! Thanks for the help, anyway. I'll also inform you when I get to learn anything else! Bye!" she ran out with a wink of an eye.

After Asakura was out of sight, Negi took another glance at his class roster booklet. The first student of the list, unlike all others, had only a blurry black and white photo over her name, a date, and a warning.

_'Student Number One: Aisaka Sayo'._

_'1940'._

_'Don't change or move her seat'._

Chisame took a peek over his shoulder. Vaguely, she also noticed the _'DESERVING HAPPINESS'_ written below her own image, but, despite his cringing in fear about it, she took it in stride, even cracking a very brief smile before asking, "So, do you think it may be something magical after all?"

"I'm not sure," he doubted. "I can't say I have felt anything near that seat, but I'm still a novice, and two days ago, I thought I saw a girl who looked like this running across the campus. The odd thing was she seemed to vanish at some point... like a ghost."

The pock-marked girl scowled, concerned. "Great. The last thing we needed; a murderous ghost on the loose".

"Well, we don't know anything for sure yet. I asked Minamoto-sensei about this girl in my first day here, but she only told me these were direct indications from the Headmaster, and he had refused to tell her the reasons behind it".

"Well, if he didn't want to tell her, you'll get nothing from him either," his roommate pointed out. "There's nothing to do about it. Just forget it and let the authorities to handle it".

He shook his head. "No. I think there is something I might be able to do, after all".

Chisame groaned in annoyance. The only odd feeling she was having now was the one of being about to be dragged into something very bad.

* * *

><p>The night was starting to fall across the Mahora grounds, wrapping the landscape with a chilly blanket of shadows.<p>

The small blonde knew he was there long before he was announced. That was the biggest problem with his power by far; he never bothered to hide it, partially because the curse made it nearly impossible, but mostly because he never wanted to. Like a pig rolling into the dirt, the man had developed some kind of masochistic obsession with his own despair. It was so bad even the mundanes could feel his aura at times.

So naturally, she had no problem at all being ready for his arrival before Chachamaru appeared at the dining room's door, in her full maid regalia, humbly bowing her head to her.

"Mistress," the gynoid announced in a silky, nearly whispered tone. "Itoshiki-sensei wishes to have a few words with you. I told him you were unavailable, but he insists..."

"It's okay, Chachamaru," the tiny temptress smiled widely, crossing her thin legs and sipping from her glass of wine. "I was expecting he'd come, actually. Bring him to me."

"Yes," Chachamaru nodded only once before retreating, only to return seconds later with the tall and lanky man in a hakama. "If you need something, just ring the bell," she said, then slinked back away without a single sound.

"Ah, Sensei," the girl with the long golden hair purred like a spoiled kitty, leaning forward in her chair, just to show the slightest glimpse of flat cleavage, her slinky black dress subtly shifting with her movement. "And this was being such a nice evening, too. To what do I owe the displeasure of this visit?"

"I had been informed you were feeling ill," the pale man eyed the bottle of wine over the large table with languid disinterest. "Under those circumstances, I fail to see why you would have your dinner with liquor."

She shrugged nonchalantly. "Some of us prefer to drown our woes down instead of drowning ourselves into our own woes. Would you like to have a seat? Perhaps you should drink yourself silly. It still would be an improvement over your current self".

"I highly doubt anything can ever improve upon me," Itoshiki Nozomu lamented. "Losing myself into the drink would only drag me further down. No, thanks. I will be brief. I have no need to sit down."

"Be brief, then," the hostess narrowed her green eyes. "As much as you can."

"Mc Dowell-san," Itoshiki began, sternly. "The Headmaster has sent me here with a fair warning. Stop your attacks on the student body. Don't involve any innocents in any personal vendetta you might have, up to and including the boy himself. We have offered you a place to belong to, and a pardon from your prior crimes; don't betray our trust on you once again."

The petite girl hissed, rising up from her seat. "You have a lot of nerve, Despair. Coming to MY home to make demands of ME? You? When have you ever started to compare to me, much less to try and dare to put conditions on me?"

Itoshiki remained calm, unfazed, for once. "The conditions were put on place long, long ago, Mc Dowell-san. You agreed to them then. I believed you were a woman of your word."

"I was forced to accept conditions I never intended to!" She slammed both hands down at the table, looking at him with killer eyes. "Don't even try to mock me implying it happened otherwise!"

"Regardless, you still are forbidden from doing this," he flatly insisted. "Our students are untouchable, and so is our staff. Whatever you are scheming now the child is here, stop it at once, please."

She clenched her perfectly white, barely sharp and pointy, teeth down. "I can't believe your idiocy."

He sighed sadly. "Yes. I do hear that a lot".

"With excellent reasons," she spat the words out, with despise. "Look at yourself. Nothing but the old man's lapdog, running an errand to insult me at my home only because he isn't man enough to do it himself. What, were all the other lackeys too afraid to come? So they had to send the only one pathetic enough to be that eager to perish?"

"I offered myself, actually," he stated. "And not even you could kill me, so please do stop teasing me. There is nothing fuller of cruelty than a woman's unfulfilled promises."

She grinned perversely. "I could teach you a million things far worse than death."

He slumped his shoulders down. "For me, every thing I've ever lived through already has been worse than death".

"Don't underestimate me. I have learned things you couldn't ever begin to imagine," she threatened, then turned around. "Your message has been received, so leave. You have spoiled my appetite."

"I should hope so," Nozomu said.

"Don't get me wrong," she replied. "I cannot claim any knowledge or responsibility on the recent attacks, if that's what actually brought you here".

"There is no need to pretend. We all know it could be no one else. Especially not now that he is here".

"That gnat? I couldn't care less".

"You targeted Shakti's apprentice after she left his quarters. You sent a message both to him and to the Church- that no one is safe. Didn't you?"

For a moment, Evangeline's right hand crackled and sparked as a small whirlwind of black energy swirled around it, but it turned itself off as she shook her head. "No. I wouldn't ever give you the pleasure. Just leave. Your mere presence disgusts me."

"Mc Dowell-san," he still attempted to appeal to her. "Don't do this to yourself."

"What?" she laughed bitterly. "Do you think I'm afraid of forcing your weak hands?"

"No. But you should be afraid of losing yourself to your own darkness, again."

She snarled angrily. "Don't compare me to yourself, buffoon. I am the master of my own darkness. You are a slave of yours."

Itoshiki exhaled a heartfelt breathing. "Quite true. How despairing."

He turned around to walk for the door, but he stopped right before leaving, looking back at her over his left shoulder. "I wouldn't have expected it happening so soon, in any case. Usually, you prefer to stage your schemes with more finesse, as I understand."

Evangeline Mc Dowell scoffed. "I have no idea what do you mean, But if I ever had to rush a plan out, it would be because some loudmouth loser told something he shouldn't have to someone who shouldn't have listened."

Itoshiki froze right there.

Evangeline smirked coldly at him. "I have eyes and ears everywhere, Despair."

He attempted to regain his own aloofness. "Always an unfitting trait from a lady."

Evangeline laughed, now mockingly. "You shouldn't try to protect him. Protecting anyone is beyond your paltry skills. That's why his father never gave you a place at his side."

Itoshiki turned his gaze away. "My place... is not at anyone's side. I have grown to accept that ever since then. But he had better hopes for you. If you ever appreciated him, you shouldn't betray that, either. Good night."

His steps echoed through the cabin until they finally were extinguished by the distance. Only then did Evangeline groan, lifting her head up to look at the moon through the closest window.

"Why shouldn't I betray he who betrayed me first?" she quietly mused to herself.

* * *

><p>A few days had passed since then. Uneventful, even relatively normal days, as somehow they began to get used to their new living arrangements. And just like that, the boy's first weekend at Mahora had just arrived.<p>

"I still don't see the need for you to go," Chisame said as she finished combing his hair as best as she could. "But if you really want to—"

"I have to," he seriously declared. "Kasuga-san may be recovering nicely, but I still feel guilty over what happened to her. If only I had been there with her—".

"You idiot" she blandly scolded him. "You barely can take any care of yourself; what makes you think you can fight something like a vampire, if that's what attacked Kasuga?"

She followed him to the door, looking down at him with a stiff, yet slightly concerned expression. Hakase had set up a mini workshop at the living room again, where she was working on a spare arm for Chachamaru. Even after all that time, it still unnerved Hasegawa to see how those things' fingers moved as the genius manipulated the detached member, so she preferred to focus her attention on the child before her.

"Sensei," Chisame stopped him, grabbing him by a shoulder. "Before you go, let's make a few things clear, okay? You, indeed, are going to visit Kasuga, aren't you?"

"Indeed," he quickly nodded his head.

"You aren't going to embark yourself in any sort of insane vampire hunt, are you?"

He laughed it off. "I couldn't find a vampire at mid-morning even if I wanted to!"

"I just want to be sure," the cosplayer replied, undaunted. "But above it all, I want you to swear something to me right now. Promise you aren't going to drag anyone else into this, no matter what. You know you can't reveal that stupid crazy secret of yours to anyone."

He straightened his body up even more, his voice growing deadly serious again. "I swear, on my honor as an English gentleman, I'm not going to pull any student who doesn't know anything about magic into any sort of magical search!"

But inside, he congratulated himself about not including any student already familiar with magic into that promise. Loopholes were, sometimes, a good thing!

"Glad to hear that," Chisame seemed satisfied enough at his words, although she didn't smile. "Just remember, be back here before lunch. We're going to take you for your first meal at Lingshen's place".

"Of course!" he happily nodded. He already had heard enough good things about that restaurant to be looking forward to it. "I'll only take a few hours! See you later, Hasegawa-san, Hakase-san!"

"Goodbye," Satomi waved a hand to him, and then turned her head to her roommate as soon as he was out and the front door was closed. "Are you really going to allow him to go alone?"

"It's still early. The only dangers he may run into are Iinchou or Saotome."

"Shouldn't those be considered enough of a menace to his moral integrity?" Hakase wondered in the middle of calibrating a wrist.

"It'll help him to build character," the taller girl said while heading back towards the bedroom. "Plus, it should give me a couple of hours for another update. I haven't been able to add anything big ever since that day."

"Huh? Why not?"

Chisame growled. "Did you expect me to dress up while that little perv's looking?"

Satomi was even more confused now. "Wasn't that the whole point of your hobby? To make young males to find you visually appealing?"

Chisame stared straight into her round eyes. "Sometimes I think you say those things on purpose."

"Is it because he's a foreigner?" Hakase asked again.

"Forget it."

"No, I'm genuinely curious," Satomi pondered. "Is it because of the age difference, then? In that case, it's even more puzzling. On one side, you say we should find nothing compromising or exciting about cohabitating with him, and I agree on that. But then you also profess finding proximity with him compromising after all. I believe you should stick to a single approach to this dilemma," she thoughtfully offered.

Chisame grumbled while undressing to try on the day's first costume. "I can't take a **single** approach to this dilemma," she said, then giving Hakase a pointful glare. "It's a **dual **problem".

Satomi didn't understand it.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Negi took advantage of the campus being mostly lonely at a free day to cover most of his path flying on his staff. That allowed him to reach the rendezvous point behind the Academy, near a small and currently empty soccer field, in only a few minutes. Misora already was waiting there, against his expectations; she had sounded reluctant when he secretly contacted him over the phone with his idea, and by now he knew she was far from being usually responsible and punctual in pretty much any case.<p>

But she was there, clad in a habit and holding a cross against her chest. She seemed very nervous and afraid, always looking in all directions, but she still was there, in time and bringing everything Negi had told her to bring.

"Good morning," he approached her with a smile he hoped was comforting enough. "Are you feeling better now, Kasuga-san?"

"Ah, good morning," she greeted back, forcing herself to look like her usual self despite her fear. "Yes, I'm like new now! Cocone's covering me for the morning, and I'm fully sure she won't rat me out, but the Sister will have lunch with us in a few hours, so let's do this fast, okay?"

"Right," he nodded, putting on his serious face and leading her towards the main building. "But if you don't want to do this—"

"No, I want to do it now," she shook her head. "I think. Let's just do it before I change my mind, fine?"

He looked back at her, making another smile. "Don't worry. I'll never allow anything bad to happen to you again."

Misora took her head slightly back. "D-Don't say such things. They don't sound right coming from a child".

"Don't think of me like a child!" he protested, in a tone that somehow was too much like a childish whine. "Think of me as your teacher, forever and ever!"

Misora actually found herself chuckling again despite herself. "Yeah. Right. Of course!"

Negi pouted, yet he said nothing as he stopped before one of the back doors and pulled a set of keys out of one of his pockets.

"Wow, they really gave you a full set of keys?" Misora's eyes widened.

"Like I said, I'm a teacher, with everything that implies!" Negi proudly stated.

Misora grinned, her eyes sparkling. Oh, if only she could get her hands on some copies of those keys! The possibilities for new pranks had grown to galactic proportions!

"Sensei..." she purred as she slid to his side, grabbing his right arm just as he opened the door."I'm sorry if I offended you. You really are very mature and responsible for your age..."

"Maybe not so much, since I'm entering this building when I shouldn't be actually here," he admitted with an apologetic embarrassed laugh, "But if we need to do it to solve this mystery, then so be it".

Misora nodded as they walked inside, closing and locking the door behind themselves. There was nothing but lonely halls everywhere at sight. It was so quiet and still it was somewhat scary, even under the sunlight entering through the windows.

She tightened her grip on his arm a bit more.

"2-A is that way," she began to guide him towards the classroom after gulping some saliva down.

"Yes," he had to choice but following her hesitant steps. "Um, Kasuga-san, may I ask you something?"

"What is it, Sensei?"

"Why are you wearing your habit right now?"

""For secrecy purposes. From afar, I'll be harder to identify by any of the girls or the other teachers if I'm wearing this."

"I see. That makes sense".

"Can I ask you something in turn?"

"Naturally."

"How is it, to live with Chisame and the Prof? Iinchou says it must be hell, and I don't doubt it. One of them is mad, and the other is always angry and avoiding any human touch..."

"No, they both are actually very nice people" he countered. "Hakase-san is kind and pleasant, and she even lets me to sleep with her. And Hasegawa-san cares a lot about us. She does her best at it, too; she reminds me a bit of my sister..."

Misora gave him a bewildered look. "You sleep with the Prof, too?"

"Heh, heh heh... Sorry about that. Sometimes I roll into people's beds while I'm asleep. It's a bad habit I took while living at Wales..."

"Europeans," Misora sighed as they reached 2-A's door. There, she stopped as if she had been frozen into place, clattering her teeth in horror.

"Like I said, if you don't want to do this—" he started again.

"NO! It's not that! I do want it! But I'd like you to do something for me in turn!" she blabbered, trying to gather enough courage both to enter and to ask him for the big deal.

"I'd do anything for any of you. What is it?" Negi asked.

She gasped, blushed, and drew in a very deep and slow breath before spitting the words out, "Let's make a Pactio!"

Negi's eyes became tiny black spots. "... Ahhh?"

"It's-It's just fair for me to ask this, isn't it?" she said. "If I'm going to help you with this exorcism, I need something to make me a stronger mage!"

Negi had gone ghostly pale. "Do you want me to be your Minister?"

Misora blinked. "... Would you be willing to be the Minister?"

He blinked back, stunned. "... Did you want me to be the Magister?"

She blushed again, looking aside. "Yes, I mean, no! I mean, I hadn't thought about being the Magistra, since I'm a weak mage, but if you want it, it's okay! After all, I'm older than you, so you should be the follower... Yes, I like the sound of that. You can be my Minister!"

"Kasuga-san, you do know what does it take to make a Pactio, don't you?" he eeped out.

"Yeah, yeah, big deal" she laughed shakily, trying to hide her own flushed face. "So what's an innocent kiss between friends, right? Because we can be friends, can't we?"

"O-Of course we can! But that isn't the point! You can't take on a partner just like that! It's a very important decision! One that demands a lot of previous thinking and debating! And besides, I— I— I—"

"What?" Misora asked.

"I don't know how to draw a Pactio circle yet," he lamely finished.

She made a long, shocked pause. "... Neither do I," she finally added in the same tone.

Then they both laughed uncomfortably.

"Weeeeeell, so much for that idea, then!" Misora said, still ashamed.

"Yeah, thank God!" he nodded.

She gave him a sudden stare intense enough to be worthy of Chisame. "Are you implying I'm that hideous?"

He gulped. "Why, I'd never—" He avoided the matter by walking into the classroom. "Well, I guess we can't take any longer! We'll just have to do the exorcism like we had planned, then go back home!"

"Wait, maybe we should—" Misora tried to protest, only to be reminded she still was grabbing him, meaning she had just been pulled into the classroom with him.

* * *

><p>"Stand there, at the other side of the desk, please," Negi gently asked while moving himself right before Seat Number One, motioning for Misora to place herself behind it. After some hesitation, the young nun obeyed with a frown.<p>

"Now what?" she asked.

The young Mr. Springfield pulled a carefully prepared piece of paper from one of his pockets and checked it again. "This is a basic summoning spell I practiced a couple of times at my Magic Academy, although we never had that many chances to research on spiritual invocations. Most ghosts from my homeland were banished long ago, back when every old castle had at least one troublesome poltergeist."

"Interesting," the female hummed while pulling the candles from her handbag and lighting them up, then to carefully place them around Aisaka's desk. "And it always NEEDED two mages for it to work?" she asked, still hoping he might let her go to pull it off by himself.

"At least two, yes," Negi rolled his sleeves up, breathing deeply. "Both times I practiced it, I did it with my friend Anya. A Magister Magi like my father could do it without any help, of course, but we still are beginners, so it might not even work even if we do it together... then again, Aisaka-san should be a low category spirit, so I figure we should be able to manage it."

Misora truly hoped they would fail now, but something still told her to avoid voicing that.

Instead, she secured the crucifix over her chest and looked at his eyes. "Alrighty then. What's next?"

He extended his hands over at her after strapping his bandaged staff over his torso. "Take my hands and repeat the spell after me. Put your whole heart and mind into it. Try to touch Aisaka-san's soul with your own."

"Fine," she agreed, foolishly, no doubt, as she grabbed his small, warm hands, squeezing them tightly to stop her own trembling. And again, his touch felt comforting and soft, ensuring and calming, at least enough to keep her in place after all, repeating his words even though doing so made her feel like a suicidal moron.

_"Rastel Maskir Magister!"_ he began.

_"Rastel Maskir Magister!"_ she followed, guessing it had to be his activation keyword. Idly, she wondered if she shouldn't have said her own instead, but she supposed, for a conjoint spell, it'd be better to use a single starter sentence.

_"Spirit of the deceased, shadow from beyond the grave! Heed our words, show yourself to us, those who invoke your presence!"_

After gulping very loudly, she blurted the words as quick as she could. _"Spirit of the deceased, shadow from beyond the grave! Heed our words, show yourself to us, those who invoke your presence!"_

_"We call you by your name, Aisaka Sayo!"_ Negi shouted_. "Unrestful soul, listen to our voices, acting as one to recall you!"_

_"We call you by your name, Aisaka Sayo!"_ again, she followed him. "Unrestful soul, listen to our voices, acting as one to recall you!"

_"Grant us your audience, you, who still keep your links to the mortal world! Allow us to grant you our humble help in trade! Come forth, here and now!"_

_"Grant us your audience, you, who still keep your links to the mortal world! Allow us to grant you our humble help in trade! Come forth, here and now!"_ the girl managed to shriek, even as she felt her hair standing up in point.

The whole air of the classroom seemed to have changed, as a matter of fact, almost as if it was charged with electricity. It was invisible, but still, a powerful force could be felt all around them, making the floor tiles to tremble right beneath their feet.

"S-S-Sensei!" Kasuga's eyes grew wide as plates, and really, if she hadn't been still grabbing his hands, she would have escaped away in that precise moment. "Is this supposed to happen now?"

He smiled widely. "Yes, it is! We are managing it! We are doing it!"

Then a faint figure, unclear and diffuse, started to show itself in midair over the desk. Misora squealed in shock as she found herself staring at the vague outline of a small face without eyes or nose, except because now it seemed to be gaining eyes and a nose at a rather fast pace. Around the face, a long white and flowing cascade of hair was materializing as well, and below, an old fashioned school uniform, complete with long skirt and sleeves, sewed itself over the ghostly shape. However, no legs ever appeared; from under the skirt, only a thick column of vapor peeked out, even when the summoning was seemingly complete and the ghost appeared in full form between them, opening her huge reddish eyes... which were full of overflowing tears.

Adding to Misora's panic, the spectre took her head back and wailed, in an ear piercing shrill tone.

"THAT WAS PAAAAAAAINFUUUUUUL!"

"KYAAAA!"

That had been the drop that spilled the glass; letting Negi's hands go, Misora backed all the way against a wall, aiming her cross at the ghost. "Ruh-ruh-retreat, evil spirit! Begone to the pit, devourer of lives! St-Stop haunting these holy grounds!"

"KYAAAAAA!" the ghost yelled in turn, backing away as well, and passing straight through Negi's head. "NO, YOU'RE MISTAKEN! I'M NOT EVIL! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME, I BEG YOU!"

Negi looked at her, awed and unsure on what to say now. Funny, he had it all planned, and yet, he seemed to have forgotten it all now, with the chaos and all. "AHH— Aisaka Sayo-san?" he meekly asked. "Student Number One, am I right? I'm pleased to meet you; I'm Negi Springfield, your new teacher—"

The ghost trembled wildly, shrinking under his gaze. "What have I done to you? You have hurt me! And now you want to send me away! Please have mercy! I—I—" she started to cry, "I have nowhere to go!"

Misora still trembled as well, maneuvering into a distant corner. "D-Don't listen to her, Sensei! It has to be a bloodsucking Banshee trick!"

"We only want to help you, Aisaka-san," Negi calmly offered, giving a tentative first step towards Sayo. "I'm sorry if our summoning caused you any pain; it honestly wasn't our intent. Please listen to us. We want to be your friends..."

"F-Friends?" the ghost stammered, quaking like a terrified deer. "N-No, I heard you talking with Asakura-san the other day... You think I'm attacking those girls every night! You want to put me away to some horrible dark place! Please, leave me alone!"

And with that, she bolted for the door, flying through it and out into the halls with the greatest ease.

"AISAKA-SAN!" he called out. "Please, don't go! Listen to us!" Negi turned towards Misora, urging her. "We must go after her!"

"Wh-What?" Misora babbled. "We managed to exorcize her, didn't we? She already left the classroom! The mission was a success, I'll see you tomorrow!" She tried to sneak away in the opposite direction.

"Kasuga-san, she might go on a panicked rampage through the whole school!" Negi claimed.

"That's too unfortunate. But accidents do happen," Misora replied.

"Many people could be scared away, or worse!" he pressed on.

"Oh, she ain't THAT scary..." the young nun chuckled trying to control her own terror.

"She's alone and afraid herself!" Negi insisted.

"B-But my vows included caring after the living, not after anyone who already bought the farm!" the young girl tried to protest.

"And if Sister Shakti ever learns of this, she'll be angry!" he pointed out.

"Yes... she would," Misora gulped even more now. "O-O-Okay then, let's go after her."

Negi smiled as he ran outside. "Kasuga-san, I see Sister Shakti is more fearsome than any undead, isn't she?"

She grumbled, running after him. "I still haven't discarded her being one of them, you know."

* * *

><p>"So, how do you expect to find her?" Misora asked while following him through the deserted halls. "I figure she must have a pretty good lead on us by now."<p>

"Pay attention" Negi put a hand next to his right ear. "I can hear a sobbing coming from that direction. It's her voice."

Kasuga listened carefully and made a face. "She isn't much of a ghost, is she?"

"She is a young girl... who was alone for years, maybe more than sixty, surrounded by people she never could reach, and now we forced her to manifest herself in a way that must have hurt her. It's no wonder she's shocked and afraid."

"I thought you had previous experience with those summons."

"I did," he was puzzled. "It never caused the spirits any pain before. I wonder why Aisaka-san experienced such pain..."

"Maybe it was because of me," Misora grumbled, looking aside. "Maybe I'm not as good a spell partner as your Anya friend. I always mess everything up."

"Don't ever say that. The fact we pulled the summoning at all in our first try shows you do have the talent" he said. "You need to have more trust on yourself."

She looked at him again. "You're... too kind."

_"Quiet, please,"_ he whispered, stopping before a large steel door. The sobs seemed to come from the inside, loud and nonstop. "_She's in there. What is this place?"_

_"The basketball indoors gym"_ Misora whispered back. "_Yuuna uses to practice there, but never on Sundays, so it's okay."_

_"Roger,"_ he briefly nodded. _"You cover my back just in case, please."_

Misora let out a choked sound. _"M-Me?"_ Finally, she nodded holding herself down. _"Right. I can do that. Yeah."_ She nervously clutched the cross between her hands.

Negi looked for the right key for a few moments, then used it and warily walked into the gym, with Misora shadowing his steps.

Then a basketball flew straight into each one of their faces.

"I-I-I told you to leave me alone!" the pale figure of Sayo whimpered crouched against a far distant corner, with several basketballs and even a few folding chairs floating all around her. "Please! I don't want to hurt anyone, I just... I just want to enjoy life peacefully..."

Misora rubbed her aching face, now too annoyed to be truly scared. "YOU AREN'T ALIVE TO BEGIN WITH!"

Sayo sulked down. "You shouldn't bring that up. It's a sensitive matter for me. You're so mean... I have seen you playing so many pranks on people, how do I know you don't just want to get rid of a witness?"

"Give me a break, it's all in the name of good clean fun!" the living girl snapped.

"Now, now, please," Negi attempted to mediate. "Aisaka-san, I promise we won't force you to do anything you don't want to. If you only let us to-".

Another basketball went flying passing mere inches next to his head. "D-Don't come any closer!" the ghost threatened with a quivering voice. "I really don't want to resort to violence!" She cringed as one of the chairs fell down and through herself, clanking against the floor. "Wahh! And I can't keep them floating for long! I'm a failure at life- I mean, at death-"

Negi still kept on walking towards her. "Don't cry, please. It's all okay. You don't have to be alone anymore. No one's going to send you anywhere if you don't want to go."

The spirit still shuddered, looking up at him with pleading eyes. "P-Please don't mock me. Why wouldn't you? Everyone is afraid of ghosts. Even I am, and I never have seen one..."

"You have never met anyone like you?" Misora asked, still standing at the door.

Aisaka shook her head. "I don't remember anything from the time when I was alive. My earliest memories are waking up at your classroom years ago... I don't even remember exactly when. All I know is I have watched class after class to pass before my eyes, no one ever noticing me until Asakura-san and now you. For some reason, she seems to be aware I'm there, even if she can't see me. But no, I haven't ever been able to talk to anyone else, human or ghost."

Misora's lips curved themselves down. "That's... gotta suck."

Sayo nodded sadly. "Not even Evangeline-san can see me. At least I don't think she can, despite being there for fifteen years..."

Both humans' eyes went wide. "Fifteen?" they said at the same time.

"Fifteen?" Sayo repeated, blinking, before carefully counting using her fingers, then nodding. "Yes. Fifteen. I can say she feels lonely, too, so I feel sorry for her."

"Being lonely is the least weird thing about that," Misora said. "Eva-chin may be a bad student, but fifteen years repeating the same grades is too much! What kind of person is she?"

Negi mulled over Itoshiki-sensei's warning silently, then mused with hesitation. "It's strange; I've never felt anything supernatural around her... But we'll look into that later. Aisaka-san, what matters now is, I'm glad to see you are a good person after all. I'm sorry for doubting you before getting to meet you."

He extended a hand to her. "I'll look after you as much as I'd do with any other student. If you ever have any problems, just ask me or Kasuga-san for help. And I promise we'll help you to remember your past, too."

Sayo turned her gaze away. "I'm... not sure I want to remember it."

He crouched down before her and passed a hand through her hair, or rather, the air where her hair could be seen. "Then we'll help you to make your future."

She looked at his eyes, and for a moment Misora could swear her translucid face could be seen flushed with a brief, yet intense blush.

"I... would like that," the ghost nodded weakly, finally smiling at both of them.

* * *

><p>Thirty minutes later, Negi and Misora walked out of the school building. As the young teacher closed the back door with lock and key, the nun in training hummed thoughtfully to herself.<p>

"That didn't take us too far, did it?" she asked.

"It allowed us to help a student. That's more than enough for me" he stated.

"Yeah, it's great and all, but still... not what we went to look for."

His expression hardened just a bit. "It may have set me on the right direction."

"Do you mean the bit about Eva-chin?" Misora uncomfortably said. "I dunno, Sayo seems rather unable to measure time properly. It just isn't possible for her to-"

"Or is that what you want to convince yourself about?" he asked. "That Evangeline-san can't be the Dark Evangel?"

Misora's face distorted itself into a terrified grimace. "Y-You said it yourself, we haven't sensed any power coming from her! Surely, if she were such a fearsome creature- The name must be a coincidence- I mean-"

He breathed in and out, and then he regained his smile, looking at her again. "Yes, you must be right. Sorry. A teacher shouldn't doubt his students, like today's incident proved. Thanks for all the help, Kasuga-san. It's good to see you are so reliable!"

"Reliable? Me?" she blinked several times. But then, slowly, she smiled back at him. "Ah, Negi-kun. You're so naive. But I think that's as weird as lovely in a man."

And then, much to his shock, she lowered her head and gave him a brief and soft kiss on his forehead.

Negi backed away as if a snake had just pierced him with its fangs. "GAH! Kasuga-san! That's unfitting from both a student and a nun!"

"Bwa-ha-ha!" she laughed. "You overthink things too much! Like I said before, an innocent kiss between friends is nothing! Nothing!"

Mischievously, she turned around and winked an eye at him. "It was fun to hang around with you! Let's do it again some time!"

And without waiting for his reply, she ran away back to her dorm, laughing her head off all the way.

"A-And don't call me 'Negi-kun'! The right term is 'Negi-sensei'!" he still shouted at her quickly out of sight form. He still was flustered and blushing like crazy.

Now that had been far scarier than any ghost he ever had met.

At least, he hoped that was fear he was feeling. He liked that explanation better than the other possible reason for his heart beating so fast now.

* * *

><p>The Chao Bao Zi. From the outside, it really didn't look like much. But once inside, the mere scent of delicious food filling the whole cart restaurant was enough to nearly mesmerize young Mr. Springfield.<p>

It wasn't just the smell floating all around, however. It was also the warm and homely feeling you could get from simply stepping into the old wagon turned stall.

"It feels almost like being back at home, despite it being so different," he marveled as he sat at a table with Chisame and Hakase.

"Hmm," Chisame hummed while looking through the menu. "Did you eat Chinese takeout often back at home?"

"Never," he denied. "I don't mean exactly that, it's just... this oddly familiar feeling. It's like you almost can touch the labor of love put here..."

"Chao is very passionate about everything she does," Satomi observed calmly. "She gives one hundred percent of herself to all of her activities".

"Nihao, Negi-bozu!" 2-A Student Number Twelve, Ku Fei, passed by before their table, rolling around on skates, wearing a red sleeveless Chinese dress and carrying a large food tray on each hand. "Nihao, Hakase-chan!"

Chisame scoffed at being apparently ignored. "Always the same thing."

"Call me 'Negi-sensei', please!" Negi protested at the heavily accented Chinese girl and then sighed in defeat. "First Kasuga-san, now her... at this rate, the other teachers will look down at me soon..."

"You knew the job was dangerous when you took it," Hasegawa dryly cracked, although the way her roommates looked at her outright told her neither of them got the reference. "Super Chicken," she said.

"Is that one of the recipes?" Negi asked.

"No! It is—" Chisame interrupted herself, shaking her head. "Forget it."

"Sometimes you are weird, Chisame," Satomi flatly confessed.

"That's something, coming from you!" the other girl snapped.

Negi just laughed, amused, until he noticed someone was glaring at him from another table. He discretely looked back to see a beautiful girl, two or three years older than his students, with long black hair and wearing a black motorcycle outfit, quietly, yet grimly eating a bowl of ramen while staring at him from afar.

_"Girls?"_ he whispered.

"What?" Chisame asked.

The boy kept his voice very low. _"Who's that girl over there?"_

Both of them looked into the direction Negi's own eyes were taking as low-profile as possible.

"Beats me," Chisame said. "I think she's a Sempai from high school, but I don't know her name."

"Neither do I," Hakase added. "Haven't you taught her any classes yet?"

Negi flipped through his booklet, detailing the class rosters he had to cover both at his homeroom and as an English instructor elsewhere. Finally he settled at High School Class 1-A's pictures, where he found the one he was looking for. "Kuga Natsuki-san, no membership at any club, no other information given. But I don't remember ever seeing her there..."

"She skips classes often, from what I have heard," a soft, feathery voice came from his right side, making him to look at the suddenly there, as if arrived from nowhere, plump and gentle looking 2-A Student Number Thirty, Yotsuba Satsuki. "She eats here almost every day, but never talks to anyone."

"Ah, hello, Yotsuba-san!" Negi quickly bowed.

"Hello, Yotsuba," Chisame greeted cordially enough. The chef was one of the few classmates she could actually tolerate, but then again, everyone loved her.

"Ah, Sacchan!" Satomi perked up, with a tone she rarely had used in the time Negi had spent with her. "Bring Negi-sensei a special stamina soup and some nikkuman, will you? He will need all the energy he can gather for his second week at the job."

"It sounds good," he nodded. "Hakase-san knows your specialties far better than me, so I'll go with her choice. Although everything in this menu seems delicious."

"Thank you for the kind words," Yotsuba smiled softly.

"The same for me then," Chisame spoke.

"A few ribs with spicy sauce and salad for me," the scientist asked before looking all around. "By the way, where is Chachamaru? Shouldn't she be serving the tables with you today?"

"Evangeline-san arrived early and took her away," Satsuki explained while taking her order. "They said they had something urgent to work on."

"I see," Hakase nodded, slightly spaced out in her own unreadable thoughts by now.

Chisame, on the other hand, noticed Negi suddenly looking more concerned as of that moment. "Is there anything wrong?"

He shook his head. "No... Nothing!"

"How was Kasuga, by the way?" the cosplayer questioned. "Feeling any better now?"

Negi's cheeks gained the briefest reddish shine as he remembered that morning's kiss, but then he just laughed it off. "Yeah, she's fine by now! She told me she'd come back to classes tomorrow!"

"Great, another piece of insanity back at the old classroom," Hasegawa observed in a detached tone.

She had just noticed his blush, of course, even though Hakase obviously hadn't. But if he thought she'd ask him about it, he had another thing coming.

After all, why should it matter to her at all?

* * *

><p>Late that night, Chisame half opened her eyes to look at the wall clock in the room's darkness. 11:00 P.M., it read, and yet the problem child was still at it. Sitting with his back turned to them next to his futon, he seemed to be working on something even now. Fixing smelly potion after smelly potion, flipping through tome after tome of ancient Welsh lore, and polishing his wand at random intervals as if hoping it'd help him with something.<p>

Polishing an actual magical wand, that was. Otherwise, she'd have kicked him out of the room right then and there. At least she thought it was some kind of silly fairy tale magic wand; it certainly looked like something you'd see in a storybook's illustrations.

"Sensei," she hoarsely called out. "Go to bed already."

"Just a few minutes more, Hasegawa-san," his voice replied quietly.

"We have classes tomorrow. Stop doing that right now; I can't sleep with that horrible stench."

"It's diluted, concentrated garlic, isn't it?" Hakase's voice softly asked from the bottom bunk. Chisame blinked, surprised to hear she was awake, and even sounding slightly concerned. "Do you actually believe that will function to any degree against that supposed vampiric creature that obsesses you?"

Chisame sat up on the bed. "What? You still intend to chase that vampire thing? Stupid brat, do you want to get yourself killed? Even if it's only a human pervert on the loose, I don't think your kindergarten magic will do any good if that psycho's packing a gun!"

"Protecting my students is my duty," he replied, still not looking back at them.

"You're a teacher, not a cop! And look at us while we're talking to you!" Chisame yelled.

* * *

><p>At the next darkened room, Ayase Yue, wearing a thick and long blue sleeping robe, lying on her bed reading a book under the faint light of a small lamp, closed the tome and tilted her head towards the wall separating them from their neighbors. The words came muffled and incoherent, but the emotion behind them was unmistakable.<p>

_"They're at it again,"_ she whispered.

Nodoka hummed a weak "Ah-hah," from the top bunk, confirming her own waking state.

"Chisame-san had never been so noisy before," Yue said. "I guess it must be taxing, to live with a child."

"I... I don't think so. Not in Negi-sensei's case, anyway," Nodoka shyly answered. "He seems very different from any other boy I've ever met."

"Really?" Yue arched an extremely thin eyebrow. "I suppose you're right."

Nodoka smiled to herself, not really noticing the warm redness washing over her own face. "He may be overwhelmed and confusing, but it feels really good to have him there. He isn't like most of the other teachers; he actually _cares_."

Her friend sighed. "A shame he'll grow out of it."

"Oh, Yue-Yue," Nodoka's voice whimpered just a little bit. "Don't say that..."

"It's true," the shorter girl dryly stated. "Sad as it may be, sooner or later, the weight of real life's burdens will turn him from idealistic dreamer into just another chalkboard pusher."

"I— I don't think so," Nodoka differed, her voice gaining a rare stubbornness that made Yue to take notice. "I can feel he's different in that way, too. I want to hope the best from him."

"Nodoka, that's very cute and all, but... reality will always crush that kind of hopeless dreams. It's the way life works," the girl with the large forehead started, just to be cut short when her roommate peeked her head down to look at her, smiling.

And she was simply so cute when she smiled...

"I don't think so," Nodoka impishly said.

"Oh, no? And why's that?"

Nodoka made a tiny giggle. "You are living proof of it."

"Me?" Yue hoped the darkness was enough to hide her blush. "Why me?"

"You and Paru were the only ones who never lost your hopes on me... back when I was all alone and locked into myself, and no one ever wanted to talk to me," Nodoka fondly remembered. "But you reached for me, against all odds. I'll never forget that, Yue-Yue."

Ayase found herself slowly smiling back at her. "Neither will I. Never."

"Maybe Negi-sensei will do the same for them?" Nodoka hopefully looked at the wall, as if hoping to see through it.

"Maybe," Yue conceded. "But first— Hey, what is that noise at the window?" she asked.

Nodoka looked towards the darkened window of their room, leading to a small balcony, now. Something seemed to be knocking and scratching at it. "P-Perhaps it's only one of Sakurako's cats," she nervously stammered, remembering the vampire scare stories while going down the bunk's stairs.

However, Yue was faster and got back to her feet, setting her book aside. "I'll look at it," she said, without any actual fear, taking the lead.

* * *

><p>Chisame was already pushing Negi into his futon when both of them and Hakase heard it all. Glass being shattered, and two brief but blood curling screams.<p>

Even the normally absent Satomi perked up in alert. "Miyazaki!"

"And Ayase," Hasegawa completed, going just slightly pale.

"Too soon!" Negi bolted out of the futon, only stopping long enough to grab his wand, some bottles and his bandaged staff, then to storm out of the room and into the outside hall, running to the librarians' door to bang loudly on it. "MIYAZAKI-SAN! AYASE-SAN! ARE YOU OKAY?"

Chisame ran out right after him, rushing to cover him up with a coat. "For the Kami's sake, Sensei! You're still barefoot and in pajamas. Maybe they just broke a vase..."

Negi put his right ear on the door's frame, listening carefully. "It's... too silent now. I don't like it. No, I hear something now. Almost like... suction sounds!"

"Sensei, Chisame! Step aside!" Hakase's voice came from behind them, commanding. "This looks like a job... FOR SCIENCE!"

She had a strange small device in a hand, one she jammed into the door's lock. And just like that, the door fell off its hinges and into the floor, like a dead weight.

Chisame gave her a bewildered glare. "Why'd you invent something like THAT?"

Hakase laughed apologetically. "You'll see, I often forget my laboratory's keys, and—"

"How much do you spend on doors at that lab every month?" Chisame asked her.

"Ask yourselves that later," Negi whispered while walking inside, tense but resolute. "Go call Takamichi and stay over at Izumi-san's room down the hall. Douse yourselves with the garlic formulas and—"

"What the hell do you think you're doing, venturing all alone into two girls' room like that, and with possible danger ahead to boot?" Chisame followed him in, closely shadowed by Satomi, and tried to grab him by an arm. "You'll get yourself killed, either by them, or by IT!"

Then all three of them could do nothing but stare and gasp in terror at the scene waiting for them at the bedroom, which door had been just blown open from the inside.

Miyazaki Nodoka had fainted at the feet of the bed, sprawled all over the carpet.

And Ayase Yue laid unconscious, with her violet eyes fully open and staring into the vacuum, into the arms of a small blond figure floating over the balcony, out into the open night. The attacker had her mouth firmly sunk into Yue's neck, sucking loudly, with delight and gluttony, until she lifted her head slowly, licking her sharp teeth and her bloodied mouth.

"Evangeline!" Chisame gasped, caught by a sudden horror she never had felt before.

Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell smiled evilly at the trio.

"Boya," she purred, throatily. "This little snack has done nothing but leaving me even thirstier... I suppose you could help me with that?"

"Evangeline-san?" Hakase tensed up, giving a step back. "Wh-What are you—?"

The small floating figure in black sneered at her with some dark amusement. "Please, Hakase Satomi. Is there any need to act so surprised? You KNEW there was something supernatural behind me. Hardly my fault if you chose to turn a blind eye to it."

"W-Well, it wasn't my research venue!" Satomi rushed the words out, inwardly calculating her own speed rate at reaching the door and comparing it against her rough estimate of a vampiric creature's attack speed. She didn't like the results. "Then again, if you would be willing to cooperate by lending your body to me—"

"What?" Evangeline lifted an eyebrow.

"For strictly experimentation purposes, of course—" Hakase attempted to make her point clear.

"That STILL came out wrong," Chisame scowled.

The blonde took her head back to laugh coldly. "I have always liked that about you, Hakase Satomi! Too stupid to realize the dangers around you, a true example of what they call 'human courage'! Because you amuse me, you can leave now. My goals don't include you."

Satomi seemed truly tempted to run away then, but something kept her rooted to the floor. "What have you done to Chachamaru?" she asked.

"Oh-hoh?" the petite vampiress huffed. "Ah, I see. Gifted with maternal instincts too, after all. Relax. You, better than anyone, know I have too many uses for her. As long as that stands, I won't ever hurt her."

"Um, can I go too?" Chisame sheepishly asked, trying to drag Negi away with herself, only to learn, much to her frustration, he was standing his ground with shocking stubbornness.

Her bizarrely... vampiric classmate shot her a piercing angry glare. "Not with him!"

"Go," Negi told his roommates, gesturing with his head toward the door behind them. "Just take Miyazaki-san to a safe place, right now!"

"But—" Chisame doubted.

"Listen to him, morons," Evangeline growled, icily. "Flee for your worthless lives while you still have them."

"I won't leave until I have certified Chachamaru is in optimal conditions myself!" Satomi protested, not moving an inch now. Somehow, the shorter girl's threats had just spurred her on.

"Geez, Hakase!" Chisame clenched her teeth. "Robots don't have any blood to suck!"

"Mc Dowell-san..." Negi finally spoke again, sweating but trying to keep a brave face as he raised his staff up, "Let Ayase-san to go, safely. Now!"

Evangeline's expression turned completely blank and jaded. "As you wish" she droned, then to make a wicked small grin. "Catch."

Without any prior warning, she tossed Yue's limp body forward, forcing him to drop the staff on reflex to catch her in his arms. Before he could even lower Yue, Evangeline flew in with a wide, perverse smile, grabbing him by the throat and roughly pushing him against a wall.

"Sensei!" Chisame screamed.

"Oh my, oh dear, oh no," Satomi muttered under her breath, blinking at random rapid intervals. "Definitely not convenient at all."

"Son of the Thousand Master," Evangeline hissed deeply, narrowing her eyes as her mouth hovered over his incipient Adam's apple. "You have no idea of how long have I waited for this. Fifteen years of humiliation and shame will end up tonight... washed away with your blood!"

"Wh-Why...?" Negi choked out, attempting vainly to break free from her amazingly strong grip. "W-What have I—"

"You were born from him. That's more than enough for me," she snarled, lowering her mouth dangerously close to his skin. "And you don't need to know anything els—"

"LET HIM GO!" Chisame's yell took her by surprise, and the next thing she knew was a large and thick hardcover was being smashed from behind against her face. The force of the hit was not that big at all, but the mere shock made her to back away, releasing the boy.

She passed a hand over her nose, feeling it leaky. To her absolute indignation, she found it bleeding. Bleeding! Quickly, she licked the blood off her fingers before giving the hacker a venomous stare.

"Hasegawa Chisame..." she roared, chomping the air madly with her sharp teeth, "After I'm done with him, you impudent worm are next!"

"M-Me?" Chisame yelped, stepping back as she still held the deluxe _Bram Stoker's Dracula_ she had just taken from Yue's desk in a mad bid for something big and heavy.

"Girls, step away!" Negi whipped his magic wand off, aiming it at Evangeline. _"Flans Exarmatio!"_

With a wave of a hand, the blonde projected a small shield of mystical energy around herself, instantly blocking the spell before it could reach her. The magical air blast was tossed all across the room, and Negi barely could jump in time to push Hakase with himself out of the way of one of the disarming bursts' way.

However, Chisame's shriek half a second later told him she hadn't been so fortunate.

"Hasegawa-san...?" he hesitated, looking into her direction only to quickly avert his gaze, blushing deep red.

"YOU INFERNAL BRAT!" Chisame was just as red, her clothes blown off, covering her chest and crotch with her hands as best as she could. "DON'T LOOK THIS WAY!"

"Ha, ha, ha hah!" Evangeline laughed madly, rushing ahead again towards Negi and Hakase. "What a failure of a mage! I'll bet your blood tastes like warm lemonade!"

"You'd better take a drink from this!" Negi yelled, pulling a few tiny bottles out and flipping them open in a single swift motion of his fingers, throwing their content all over Evangeline.

"What? AAAARRRGHHH!" Evangeline screeched to a halt, screaming as he attempted to rub the liquids off herself. "Why, damn you! You're just as bad as your idiotic father! I'll kill you for this! I will—"

Then she paused, listening to the steps outside. Their noise had alerted someone. Maybe another teacher.

Growling, the vampiress jumped back through the window, flying out into the deep night. "Come and get me if you can, Boya!" she loudly challenged. "I always preferred fighting at outdoors anyway!"

"Sensei!" Chisame shouted while wrapping a bedsheet around herself. "Don't even think of—"

But Negi had just taken his staff, mounted it, and flown out in hot pursuit of their attacker. "Just watch over the two of them!" he yelled. "I'll be back soon!"

Chisame rushed to the balcony, still calling for him, despite him being nothing but a speck in the nocturnal sky by now. "Wait, you imbecile! She's going to—"

Then she had to bite her tongue. Izumi Ako and her tall friend Ookuchi Akira had just appeared at the room's door, shocked and pale.

They were looking at the fainted Nodoka, the confused Hakase now with Yue in her arms, and the half naked Chisame with stupor and bewilderment.

"What... what has just happened here?" Akira asked. "We heard screams, and then we saw the door on the floor, and now... now..."

Chisame slumped her head down. "Hakase, you are the genius. YOU explain it for me, okay?"

* * *

><p>Negi's hands tightened themselves around his staff, as the boy focused his power into radiating even more speed into the wooden implement. The world seemed to zoom around him, to nearly dizzying levels; he was not used to fly so fast, or so low either.<p>

Evangeline seemed to be unafraid of being seen, as she kept on flying rather low, leading him into a chase through the campus, towards the Northern woods. Fortunately, the vampire scares had made sure the Mahora grounds were lonely at those hours.

"Mc Dowell-san!" Negi shouted at the top of his lungs. "Stop immediately! You could hurt yourself!"

"Ha, ha ha ha ha ha!" the young looking blonde laughed in a tone that fully contradicted her appearance. "Concerned about me, 'Sensei'? You shouldn't be! It's you who won't see the next day's light!"

"Don't say that!" he yelled. "Why are you attacking your classmates? Even if you suffer from blood thirst, any of the mage staff here should be able to help you!"

"Hah!" she increased her speed, looking back over a shoulder at him, smirking maliciously. "What, are you suggesting to let those weasels to feed me with fake blood while looking for a cure for me? I don't want any cures! I am the Queen of the Night! I don't even need the blood to survive! I only drank from those children to make time until the main course!"

Negi frowned while attempting to catch up to her, dodging the tree trunks as they zig zagged through a park. It was clear she was attempting to make him to crash. But he wouldn't desist! He wouldn't lose her!

He kept on analyzing the situation while chasing her. Evangeline seemed to combine the best advantages of a wizard (spellcasting, knowledge of the mechanics of the arcane) with those of the vampire (superior physical strength, flight without the need for a staff or broom). Apparently, he had the disadvantage in the versatility department, and yet, he couldn't help but noticing she had not used offense spellworking yet.

"Boyo!" she called out when they passed near the church. "I suggest you something! If you can catch me, I might tell you something about your father!"

His eyes went wider. "H-how could you know something about him?"

"Tsk! Tsk! No details until you have done it!" she chided, gaining some altitude. "What do you say? Are you up to the challenge?"

The boy's cute face made a resolute, yet almost laughable on his rounded features, expression. "Do you promise it?"

"Maybe, maybe not...!" she sing-sang.

Negi's brow curved itself angrily. **_"Rastel Maskir Magister!"_** he lifted a hand. _"Evocatio Valcyriarum! Contubernalia Gladiara!"_

Eight ghostly shapes made of grayish swirling vapor materialized themselves around him. The humanoid figures all seemed to form a long sharp blade made of hardened air in a hand.

"Bravo!" Evangeline congratulated him. "Finally, some proof you are his son after all! Not bad, but you'll have to do much better to approach him at all!"

"I only need to approach you for now!" he aimed a hand at her. _"Age capiant!" _he commanded, and all eight wind spirits zoomed down against her at a breakneck speed.

Evangeline smiled confidently, tossing a few small bottles out of the folds of her long black cape, hitting the spirits with amazing accuracy and blowing them up in midair.

But Negi smiled as well despite that. She had used potions instead of attack spells. That meant her magic level had to be low, which explained why he and Misora had not 'felt' it before. And using a shield at midair took a lot more power than one at ground level...

_"Flans Exarmatio!"_ he shouted, aiming his right handpalm into her direction. If he took her potions away, she would lose a major part of her effectiveness.

Again, the massive burst of wind flew toward her, this time hitting her with full force despite her attempt to project another blocking shield. It blew the cape and the potion bottles right off her body, along with her black dress, leaving her floating in only a thin white undershirt and panties.

For a moment, despite his uneasiness at seeing another one of his students in a state of undress, he smiled, finding the victory to be much closer...

Right before a blur in a black and white maid outfit swooped down from high above, taking him fully unaware, punching him in the jaw and sending him falling down at a vertiginous speed.

* * *

><p>Kasuga Misora just couldn't sleep.<p>

It was funny.

Cocone had gone to bed more than two hours ago. From her seat next to the window, Misora could see her sleeping quietly on her bed, face down, never moving or rolling around at all.

But she, on the other hand, couldn't do the same thing, which was unusual since she was the laziest of the duo by far. She simply felt unrestful and fidgety, bothered by something she couldn't quite put her finger onto. It wasn't the usual fear she had felt since being attacked. It was something else, similar to some degree, but that felt more like some sort of sense of urgency.

She, feeling urgency over doing anything? The girl was really starting to think she could be sick.

So she had taken a seat next to the window, hoping the cool night breeze could soothe her down while she played her Game Boy, biting her lower lip while shooting spaceship after spaceship down. She had placed wards all around the window, as well, so the vampire's return, at last, after so many nights of bad dreams, was the last thing in her mind at that exact moment.

Then Misora heard the icy laughter, and she looked up at the sky.

And her eyes, once more, transformed into pitch black spheres.

It was like a feverish dream suddenly coming to life. Up there, flying over the trees, bathed by the faint light of the full moon, a figure with long golden hair laughed and laughed while flying wrapped into a gigantic black cape, fleeing a small boy riding a flying staff. Horrified, the girl backed away from the window violently, yet was unable to take her eyes away from the scene.

The boy, who she was sure had to be Negi-sensei, had just summoned eight attack spirits and sicced them on his target. Misora stared, fascinated, at that display of power, feeling her fear mixing up with some strange new admiration. He actually was an impressive wizard! Now she wanted that Pactio even more; if he could beat the Dark Evangel all by himself...

But then, as if on cue, her fondest hopes were shattered as swiftly as the pursuer summonings the escaping blonde had somehow just neutralized. Sensei was not beaten yet, however, no; he had just done some crazy shit that had blown the vampire's clothes off! Wow, there were stripping spells too? Well, it was easy to guess why Sister Shakti had never spoken about them at the church.

Misora still was unsure of how the hell could you beat a vampire by stripping her, but before such a relevant and timeless question could be answered, something that looked like a blur of black and white with green hair zoomed down from above hitting Sensei squarely on the kisser (or so it seemed), and sending him barreling down towards the ground, much to Misora's ever growing terror.

She only could see him falling through a tree's top, before she couldn't see anything else. Both because the angle and the distance didn't allow for it, and because she just couldn't keep on watching. Scared out of her wits, the young female pulled the curtains close and slipped under her bed's covers, trembling like a terrified deer.

She closed her eyes tightly, trying her best to sleep and forget, but she felt herself antsier than ever. Reopening her eyes, she warily looked over at Cocone's prone and still blissfully sleeping form.

"Nothing I can do anyway," Kasuga reassured herself under her breath.

Maybe he would be okay in any case. Yeah. If he was a strong sorcerer like his father, he could pull it off. Yes, that was it. Worrying about it was silly.

Misora remained still and silent, trying to listen. She couldn't hear anything else.

Shouldn't a mage beating a vampire up cause a few magical explosions?

On the other hand, a vampire sucking a mage's blood should be silent and discreet, like Yue sipping a carton of juice at the back of the class.

"No, that's ridiculous to think," she told herself.

Eh, even if she sucked him off, it wasn't like it'd kill him, right? She had survived something similar herself with no lasting effects.

Then again, if the vampire was after revenge over that Thousand Master affair...

_You should have told him,_ she scolded herself. _It's your fault!_

_No, wait, it's not my fault at all! I didn't tell him to go out and play Buffy!_

_But... I didn't try to convince him to stop it, either..._she remembered, sulking down.

The girl looked at her right hand, reminiscing how good it had felt when he grabbed it.

_What is this annoying thing I'm feeling? Guilt...?._

Gulping, she tiptoed to the window and took a brief peek through the curtains. The campus looked fully lonely and empty, but she knew they should be somewhere between the trees.

Misora sighed, sitting down at the floor. She shook her head, grabbing her scalp with both hands. She never had been so scared in her whole life. But exactly scared of what?

The Vampire Witch, the Damsel of Blood, was a huge part and parcel of that fear, no doubt, but what was that other panic she was feeling as well?

Misora whimpered as loud as she could without waking her child friend up. She couldn't put Negi-kun's smile out of her head, and then there was his courage, his kindness to the ghost girl, his determination. He was everything she couldn't be; brave and reliable, trustworthy and sincere. And now he would be killed, no doubt, his small dry dead body to be found early tomorrow, drained and cold. He would die alone and away from his house and family while she cowered under her covers.

"I can't do anything.." she whispered to herself.

Her eyes slowly traveled over to her closet. Trembling and breathing heavily, she stood back up and opened it, facing the hanging habits and the reserve crucifixes inside, the stashed spell books and the bottles of holy water.

Misora made a suffering face.

"I must be completely insane..." she whined. "A suicidal idiot, that's what I am..."

* * *

><p>Negi yowled in pain as he fell through a sakura tree's foliage, finally managing to break his fall with one of the thicker lower branches. Still stunned by the impact, he noticed he had dropped his staff, looking down quickly to see it at the tree's roots.<p>

He extended a hand towards it, and shouted _"Mea Virga!"_ Instantly, the staff flew up to his outstretched hand, which gripped it tightly. Then he climbed to the upper branches, sticking his head out of the treetop and looking up at the sky, hoping to find his opponents again. But they were nowhere in sight.

Instead, Evangeline's amused voice came from below now.

"Are you looking for us, Sensei?"

Negi turned his gaze down to see Evangeline standing at the middle of a nearby small road, her arms crossed. Behind her, a French maid outfit, Karakuri Chachamaru stood expressionless and silent.

"That has been enough!" Negi shouted while jumping down to face them. "If you keep this up, I... I'll have to report you to the Dean!"

"Oh dear. I'm terrified," the small blonde chuckled, devilishly.

"Karakuri-san!" Negi called out at the robot. "Why are you helping her to do these awful things? Hakase-san won't be happy at all!"

"I'm sorry, Negi-sensei" the gynoid droned, lowering her head. "I only follow my master's orders."

"She is **my **Ministra Magi, Boya" Evangeline darkly cooed. "Hakase's opinion has no weight on this."

"WHAT?" Negi recoiled. "B-But she possibly can't be your partner! I mean, she is a— a—"

"Oh, we haven't Pactioed through the conventional means, if that's what you mean" Evangeline dismissed his question with a handwave. "Still, she is linked to me as my servant. And working together, a pup with no partner like you will never be able to defeat us."

"That remains to be seen!" Negi lifted a hand up. _"Undecimem Spiritus Aeriales..."_

Before he could finish the spell, Chachamaru blinked out of sight, then reappeared right before him in a fraction of a second and casually grabbed him by the cheeks, stretching them painfully.

"UWAAAA!" Negi bawled as soon as she released him. "That was mean! _Undec—"_

Always with the same neutral face, Chachamaru pinched his nose and twisted it around. "KYAAAAAA!" he yelled.

"Heh, heh heh! Surprised, Sensei?" Evangeline taunted him. "You shouldn't be! A genius like you should be aware a Ministra lives to protect her Magistra while she can't defend herself. We are basically helpless while casting a spell, so the Partners must act as a physical shield, or a counterattack weapon. That's why a youngling without any Pactio to his belt, like you, will never be a challenge for us. Chachamaru!" she commanded. "I grow tired of this! Hold him so I can suck him dry!"

"Yes, Master," with uncanny speed, the robotic girl caught the boy unaware, grabbing him into an inescapable chokehold against her hard as steel body. "Please forgive me, Sensei," she softly said. "Nothing personal at all."

"Oh, it is for me," Evangeline smirked as she walked to them, swaying her hips seductively. "I only wish your stupid father could be here to see this! Oh, that's true; I promised you to tell you about him, didn't I? Then listen well, because I never break a promise. For the last few weeks, since I learned you were coming here, I have been attacking those mindless students to gather strength for this moment. Many of the attacks went unreported; in some cases, the victims themselves thought they had just had a bad dream. And do you know why did I need to regain my strength?"

"Wh—Why?" Negi kicked and struggled in vain trying to break Chachamaru's grip.

"Because your beloved father sentenced me to years and years of suffering at these cursed grounds!" Evangeline yelled, her mask of playfulness falling off to reveal raw anger and bitterness. "That miserable oaf toyed around with me, and then sealed my powers away! I have spent fifteen hellish years trapped at this pigpen, surrounded by nothing but imbeciles! Me, who once was the most feared scourge of four continents! If I could, I'd eradicate your whole bloodline from this world!"

Negi went pale, and not only because the robot's hold was interrupting his normal blood flow. "But... I'm sure he'd have his reasons..."

"LIKE HELL I CARE ABOUT THAT!" she growled. "LET ME SPELL IT FOR YOU, NIMROD! I'M AN EVIL MAGE! EVIL! IF ANYONE DOESN'T WANT ME PREYING ON ANYONE I WANT, TOO BAD FOR THEM!"

Negi trembled under her glare. "D-Don't say that... I'm sure we can find a way to—"

"I already have chosen a way of my liking, thanks," Evangeline licked her lips, smiling again. "To break the Thousand Master's curse binding me here, I'd normally need to drink his blood, but as his son, yours will suffice, as well. And I'll make sure to enjoy every last drop of it..."

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" Negi screamed as Chachamaru lowered him enough for him to be at Evangeline's reach. The vampire opened her mouth fully, her long fangs glinting under the moonlight.

"I'm sorry. Not too much, but..." she said as she closed in to his neck, "I'll try to make this quick, if it's any consolation to you."

"IT ISN'T! he whimpered, nearly hysterical. "HELP-! HASEGAWA-SAN! HAKASE-SAN!"

Then, as if acting on cue, a female voice interrupted the scene, calling out from the other side of the path.

"STOP YOURSELVES RIGHT THERE, VILLAINS!"

The vampire grumbled, turning her around around to look at the source of the sound. "Now what...?"

A young female in a nun's habit stood at a prudent distance, posing heroically, her long skirt flapping around in the breeze. A mask covering the lower half of her face below the veil, only allowing for her eyes to be seen.

"I— I have come to punish all evildoers wh-who prey on innocent children!" the stranger announced, as if reading lines from a cue card, stiffly and fighting her own fear down. "I-I'm the protector Angel of Mahora! Y-You can call me, um... The Mysterious Sister!"

Negi's eyes widened with reborn hope. "Ahhhh!" he was amazed. Who could be that brave and beautiful heroine who had just showed up to save him?

"Ah. Kasuga Misora," Evangeline deadpanned.

The Mysterious Sister jumped up in alarm. "K-K-Kasuga who? You must be muh-mistaken, b-buh-bloodsucking fiend! I have no name but the one I just announced, and I don't know that pretty and cute young nun you just have mentioned! At all!"

Evangeline tilted her head aside.

Negi gave the Sister a shocked stare. "Is that really you, Kasuga-san...?"

"I'M NOT ME! I MEAN, I'M NOT KASUGA MISORA!" the newcomer yelled, and changed her voice abruptly to a thicker, gruff feigned tone. "Does Kasuga Misora sound like this? Huh? Huh?"

"Voice scanning complete" Chachamaru said. "It matches 3-A's student number nine, Kasuga Misora's, in a 100%"

"What are you doing here?" the vampire witch asked, annoyed. "Did you come to feed me more? I don't want my appetite spoiled for tonight's dish. I already had enough of your weak watery blood."

"Please don't hurt her, Master," Chachamaru asked. "Just ask her to go back home and forget this."

"Hmph. I suppose you are right," the short blonde conceded. "Very well, since I'm in a good mood over my victory, I will grant your wish, Chachamaru. You, girl! Heed your master's voice! Since I bit you, you are my slave! And so, I command you to head back to your hole and forget this ever happened!"

It took every bit of willpower the Mysterious Sister had to reject the offer, but shakily, she still shook her head, then briefly bared her neck. The bite marks were fully gone by then.

"Sister Shakti purified them!" she said. "I— I'm never going to be under your thrall!"

"Oh, ho!" Evangeline seemed entertained by the notion. "So that poor woman has more power than I thought. Curiouser and curiouser. Still, what do you hope to do against me? I have overpowered you like a baby before, and that's when I was alone. Are you that much of a masochist? Hmmmm?"

The Mysterious Sister gasped aloud, but managed to retain enough will to stand her ground and train a cross on Evangeline's direction. "S-S-Step back, vile spawn of the night! I-In the name of the Lord, I b-banish you away!"

The blonde gave the crucifix a stare, then laughed again. "Oh, please! Even if I were a demon, your weak faith wouldn't be enough to harm me!"

The masked girl trembled, starting to charge the cross with her own magic power. "That... That isn't the only trump card I had..."

Evangeline smiled, flexing her force shield around herself. "Just try it. I'd like to see your pitiful magic breaking through my defenses."

The nun threw the cross in a perfect arc over Evangeline's head. "Who said I was going to hit you? Sensei! Lower your head!"

He did it just in time, closing his eyes just as the cross clashed against Chachamaru's forehead, exploding and filling the whole area with blinding light.

"GAH!" Evangeline blocked her eyes with both forearms. "That's too intense! Kasuga, I'm going to—!"

"Optical sensors momentarily disabled," Chachamaru monotoned. "Rebooting visual systems, recovery complete in three minutes. Please wait..."

With the speed of a track and field star, the Mysterious Sister ran to Negi's side, grabbing him by a hand and pulling him away with herself, managing to free him from the distracted gynoid's arms. "Run, Sensei! Run with me as fast as you can!" she urged.

"Y-Y-Yes!" he nodded, recalling his staff, then jumping onto it, pulling her up with him. "Wait, we'll go faster in this!"

"Okay!" she swallowed hard, hugging him as they zoomed away back toward Chisame's dorm.

Evangeline finally regained enough eyesight to furiously look into their direction. "They are escaping, Chachamaru! Quick! After them!"

"Optical recovery complete in two minutes. Please wait—"

"I DON'T CARE IF YOU HAVE TO FLY BLIND! JUST HELP ME TO CATCH THEM!"

* * *

><p>Chisame was simply hoping it wouldn't become a recurring event.<p>

Once more, now that she was fully clothed again, she was hugging the piloting Hakase's thin waist as the mad genius piloted the speedster mini vehicle through the Mahora grounds, searching for their pint sized teacher. Honestly, that boy was more problems than he was worth.

"Do you think Izumi and Ookuchi really bought your story?" she finally mused, with a grunt that managed to sound unconcerned.

"They allowed us to go out without calling on anyone else, didn't they?" Satomi asked while keeping her eyes on her radar... more than on the path ahead, much to her roommate's discomfort.

"That's what they promised, anyway" Chisame snorted. "For all we know, they are calling on the Dean right now".

"They are true to their word" Hakase commented, rather distantly.

"Okay" Chisame kept on looking around. "But how do you plan to find him, anyway? All we saw is the general direction they flew into, but what if they took a detour to the West or South? Even assuming they kept the same direction, that still leaves too much ground to cover..."

"I'm not tracking them," the scientist replied. "I'm tracking Chachamaru."

"What?" Chisame gasped. "For the Kami's sake, Hakase! Worry about your Frankenstein doll later! An actual human life might be at stake here!"

"Chisame," Satomi spoke very seriously. "Wherever Chachamaru is now, Sensei and Evangeline-san will be there as well."

"And how do you figure that?"

"I'm not fully sure, but all signs point to it. Evangeline-san fled, meaning she couldn't keep on fighting there by herself. And so far, all her victims were harmless students; she never went after anyone powerful like Ku Fei-san or Chao, or any of the magic-versed teachers. So she could need Chachamaru's help to subdue Negi-sensei," Satomi analyzed the matter with evident cold blood.

"Wait," Chisame blinked. "How many teachers do know about magic?"

Hakase shrugged. "I haven't been able to run a complete research on the subject, but Chao has told me several of them do."

"Figures," the hacker made a disgusted face.

"I have received a positive signal," Satomi perked up visibly. "Chachamaru is at a distance of seven hundred meters, near the North limits of the school grounds."

"Uh-oh," Chisame cringed.

"And getting close at a very steady and fast pace," Satomi completed the analysis.

"TURN THIS THING AROUND AND GO BACK HOME THEN!" Chisame pleaded.

"Not without my intellectual and material property!" the shorter girl stubbornly shouted. "Oh, and Sensei too, I guess. Oh, and speaking of him—"

"What?"

"I think that might be him, currently heading in a flying fashion towards us" Hakase adjusted her goggles, looking ahead while reducing the vehicle's speed. "I only hope he slows down before we enter a straight collision course."

"INSTEAD OF HOPING FOR IT, JUST GET OUT OF THE WAY YOURSELF!" Hasegawa despaired.

Then she also saw Negi, flying their way into his staff, carrying... a masked nun?... with himself. "Sensei...?"

"Hasegawa-san! Hakase-san!" the boy called out while screeching to a halt in midair, the nun shrieking as she held to him for her dear life. "Wh-What are you two doing here?"

"Well, excuse us! We were just trying to save your life!" Chisame barked. "I know, that makes us almost as dumb and suicidal as you, but never mind that! Say," she fixed her glare on the nun, "is that you, Kasuga?"

"I have no idea of who is that Kasuga Misora you mention!" the girl in the habit averted her gaze. "I am only known as The Mysterious Sister!"

"Yes. It's indeed her," Satomi concluded.

Chisame jumped off the vehicle, grabbing Negi's neck forcefully and checking it up carefully. "Okay, where are the bite marks? We'll have to get you vaccinated or something, right?"

"Please, Hasegawa-san! There's no time for this!" he begged.

Chisame jerked back. "One second, you're right. Weren't you CHASING her off? And now, aren't you being chased instead?"

"That's right..." he lamented.

"They are here," Satomi evenly stated, looking at her radar again.

Hasegawa, Kasuga and Springfield freaked out. "WHERE?"

"Right... HERE!" Evangeline howled madly, as she and Chachamaru descended in their midst, the robot's foot jets making her to land down safely. "You miserable rats! Insolent vermin! You have laughed more than enough at me! Now you'll experience nothing but the most abject FEAR—!"

"Master, please, don't hurt Hakase-san too much. I still depend on her for repairs," Chachamaru softly requested.

"TH-THANK YOU FOR WORRYING THAT MUCH ABOUT THE REST OF US!" Chisame quickly backed away, torn between indignation and panic.

Negi stepped between the three human girls and his two pursuers. "Mc Dowell-san!" he called. "Please let them go! Your revenge doesn't involve them! You only want me, don't you? Drink all of my blood if you must, but don't hurt any of them!"

"It's too late for that, Boya," Evangeline growled, then pointed a hand at Chisame and another one at the Mysterious Sister. "She bashed my gorgeous face with a book! And she injured my evocative and dreamy eyes! No way I'm allowing those offenses to go unpunished!"

"Evangeline-san," Hakase calmly said while stepping down the speedster. "I'm taking Chachamaru away from you. I never agreed to lend her to you for the purposes of stalking and hunting human beings. Why, she could get critically damaged doing that!"

"YOU SHOULD WORRY LESS ABOUT HER, AND MORE ABOUT THE HUMAN BEINGS!" the Mysterious Sister yelled grievously.

"Hm?" Evangeline humphed. "Since when do you have any sort of moral qualms about the use of your creations, Hakase Satomi? I thought you had sold your soul to science. If Chachamaru is broken, you just find a way to repair her. If human scum is harmed instead, wasn't that just a collateral sacrifice for your cause?" she mocked bitterly.

Satomi looked straight at her eyes. "Science is ultimately all about the betterment of mankind. Not about its subjugation under the heel of magic".

"You should know better than to say that before a mage" the vampiress snarled. "I liked you better when you made no questions. Chachamaru! After I'm done with the boy, I'll feast on her! She'll be more useful as a slave with no will! So grab her for me!"

The robot paused for a moment, almost hesitating, before quietly saying, "Yes, Master."

Negi was about to shield the scientist with his own body, just as Chisame and the Sister, in their panic, turned to each other to share a terrified hug. But then, Hakase, without faltering, simply opened her mouth and spoke again.

"Override Program, Activate!" she said. "Hakase Takeover Protocols, Start!"

Chachamaru froze on the spot, much to Evangeline's puzzlement.

"What are you waiting for?" the undead mage sputtered. "Grab her now!"

"New Main Directive, Protect Subjects Springfield, Hakase, Hasegawa and Kasuga!" Satomi commanded. "Neutralize target: Evangeline Mc Dowell!"

"What?" the blonde blinked. Right before a metal fist punched her in the nose.

Negi, Chisame and the Sister gasped in shock, as Chachamaru turned around to assume a fighting stance.

"I'm sorry, Master" the green haired girl apologized. "I can't help it. Please depart before I'm forced to apply more force upon you".

"The hell?" Evangeline jerked up violently, wiping her bloody nose off with the back of a hand. "Et tu, Brutus? I'll never forgive this vile—"

Chachamaru just kicked her up in the jaw.

Falling back on her butt, Evangeline's eyes watered up. "You dastardly traitor! How could you—! I'll kill you all for this!"

"Sorry, Master," Chachamaru grabbed her by the hair, pulling her up and making her to yowl. "You shouldn't have said that. The more of a threat you become, the more defense force I'll need to use".

"You'll need much more than that, you—!" Evangeline tried to raise a shield, but before she could do it, Chachamaru used her speed edge to slam her facefirst against a tree.

"I regret this, Master. Honestly, I do," the gynoid said while stoically slamming her a few more times. "Please believe me, I'm attempting to use the minimal force needed to control you down."

"You... You coulda fooled me..." Evangeline groggily gurgled.

"Yeah, that's it!" the Mysterious Sister pumped a fist up. "No mercy! No holds barred! Show her a thing or two!".

"Are you sure you are a real nun?" Chisame told her, then turning to Hakase. "Hey, you! Why don't you tell her to stop? I think it's already been enough!"

"She's right, Hakase-san!" Negi said, sounding rather outraged over the turn of events. "I disapprove of any fighting between my students! Just stop this now!"

Satomi gave him a blank glare. "But, Sensei... She tried to—"

"NOW!" he ordered.

Hakase sighed. "As you wish. Chachamaru! Stop the proceeding! Restart only in case the target takes further offensive actions!" she clapped her hands only once.

"Yes, Hakase-san," Chachamaru almost sounded grateful as she allowed Evangeline to fall down to her knees, sobbing violently.

Even Chisame couldn't help but feeling some pity for her then. Like an angry and spoiled, yet broken and infinitely sad child, the petite blonde rubbed her tearful eyes. But as soon as Negi attempted to reach for her, she slapped his hand away.

"I hate you all, with all my soul!" she hissed. "Rest assured, the next time I see you, none of you will escape alive!"

"Please, Mc Dowell-san..." he begged. "There's no need to be enemies...! I'm sure we can find a solution for your curse if we—!".

"SHUT UP! SHUT UP, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!" the vampiress roared. "No more lies! You're just like him! I hate you more than anyone else!"

She flew up rubbing her swollen face, shooting a hateful glare to all of them.

"I'll claim my servant back, and all of you along with her!" she threatened. "You have just angered the most dangerous enemy of all! Fear! From now on, do nothing but fearing the day of my bleakest revenge—!"

"Master, beware!" Chachamaru warned as Evangeline floated backward. "Watch out for that—"

***BOMF!***

"—tree," the gynoid finished as her master fell back down to the ground, with a large bump on her head.

"Gyah!" Negi rushed to her side. "Are you okay, Mc Do—"

"I SAID AWAY!" Evangeline slapped him away, then flew off as quick as she could. "I'll see you dead for this!"

_"Master..."_ Chachamaru whispered.

"You're much better off without her," Hakase huffed. "Come with me. From now on, you will be under my direct care and supervision. That will optimize our interaction and my data collecting, while preventing you from being dismantled by overzealous authorities."

"But, Hakase-san..." the robot started.

"No buts, Chachamaru!" the scientist was categorical. "Are you going to oppose your creator's stipulations?"

Chachamaru lowered her head. "No, Hakase-san."

Negi was about to protest, but Chisame stopped him, placing a hand on his right shoulder. "No, Sensei. Maybe it's best this way."

He sighed before turning his eyes to the other girl there. "Thank you, Mysterious Sister. And you too, Hakase-san, Hasegawa-san. You put yourselves in a great risk for me."

"Ah, ha ha ha!" the Sister laughed shakily. "It's what we champions of justice do, young Sensei! No need to thank me, although you can keep doing it if you really want so!"

"Yeah, thank you..." Chisame reached up for her mask and yanked it from her face, "... Kasuga!"

"AHHHH!" Misora quickly hid her face between her hands. "NO! You have just found my secret identity!"

"WE KNEW IT FROM THE START, YOU DUMMY!" the virtual idol yelled.

"I'm ruined...!" Misora sobbed. "Now all of you know I'm a mage, too!"

Hasgawa blinked. "What? You are a mage as well?"

"CRAP!" Misora bit her tongue. "Forget I just said that!"

"I'd do it if I could, believe me!" Chisame claimed angrily.

"Negi-kun, let's erase their memories!" Kasuga asked.

"No, Kasuga-san, just no!" he said. "And don't call me 'Negi-kun'!"

As the three of them bickered, and Hakase checked on her like a doting mother... or simply an overeager obsessed worker, Chachamaru remained quiet and silent, looking into the distance.

_"Master..."_ she whispered again.

* * *

><p>It was well past midnight by now.<p>

They had left Misora at her dorm, then headed back to their rooms. After confirming the librarians were okay with Akira, and barely dodging Yuuna's questions about where had they been and why Chachamaru was with them, the four of them had finally settled back at Chisame and Hakase's bedroom.

Negi had fallen asleep as soon as his head had touched his futon's pillow, exhausted and drained. Chisame, on the other hand, was relentlessly insomniac, her nerves made a mess. Even now she rolled around on her upper bunk, casting the occasional wary glare in Chachamaru's direction.

The green haired robot sat, still and completely silent, next to Negi's futon, with a completely neutral expression on her face.

"Hakase," Miss Hasegawa said in a whisper.

"Mmmmmm?" a low mumble came sleepily from the bunk below.

"Are you sure it's safe to sleep in the same room as her?" Chisame kept her voice very low. "After everything she did?"

"Relax," Satomi yawned. "The override program makes impossible for her to attack any of us." She paused before adding, "As long as I don't say otherwise."

"Sometimes you scare me," Chisame muttered.

Somehow, it just didn't feel right. It had saved them, yeah, and even so, it felt wrong, having forced the robot to come with them. Having her watching over them with those creepy vacant green eyes was not helping, either.

"She's actually a well behaved artificial intelligence," Hakase made small dozing sounds, wrapping her bedsheets tighter around herself. "Evangeline-san was only giving her an incorrect use."

Chisame nodded to herself. She continued looking at the immobile robot. It seemed wrong to think of her as an actual girl, and actual classmate, but even so, listening to Satomi talking about her as some simple piece of machinery seemed even worse now. She kept on looking at that cold, unfazed face, trying to read her almost inexistent expressions.

"When will she go to sleep?" she asked. "And where?"

"She doesn't sleep, remember?" Hakase grumbled, sounding annoyed and just wanting to doze off.

Hasegawa grimaced. So the robot would just keep on watching all night long. Lovely.

Then she noticed Chachamaru calmly looking back at her, and she flustered, rolling away to face the wall.

For a moment, unseen in the room's darkness, Chachamaru made the smallest vague hint of a smile.

Then, the boy rolled around as well, to wrap his arms clumsily around her legs. "Sis..." he muttered, looking nervous and disturbed with his dreams. "Protect me, Sis..."

But then, just as his hands briefly touched Chachamaru's metallic legs, the child shrank away, shuddering. "C-Cold..." he gurgled. "So... cold..."

During a second, if anyone had looked at the robot, they could have sworn she nearly looked somewhat hurt by the statement.

But then, quietly, she put a few blankets over her lap, and carefully maneuvered Negi's head over them. He made a tiny contented sound as he hugged her midsection, comforted by the warmth of the blankets.

Silently, Chachamaru ran a hand, very softly, through his hair.

It was almost like petting a kitty.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>.


	3. Fallaces Sunt Rerum Species

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Fallaces Sunt Rerum Species<strong>.

* * *

><p>Chisame nearly jumped out of her bed, not to mention her skin, when the horrified yelp coming from the other side of the room woke her up.<p>

"Wha—? Wha—?" with a haunted look in her sleep deprived eyes, she babbled looking into Negi's direction. "Who? When? How many dead?"

"I-I-I-I think Karakuri-san has just died!" the boy shrieked, frantically pointing with a hand to the limp robotic body lifelessly sitting at his side. "This is horrible! I woke up to find her like this! She... She was so young, too..." he sobbed.

Chisame ran a hand over her own face. "Oh. That. HA-KA-SE!" she screamed. "Your wind-up doll needs screwing!"

Negi looked at her. "... What?"

Chisame hesitated, blushing a bit all of a sudden. "Wh-What have you just 'understood' from my words?"

"Nothing," he sheepishly confessed.

"I'm relieved," she replied. Then she climbed down to shake the heavy sleeping black haired girl like a doll of her own. "HAKASEEEE! THE NOBEL PRIZE COMMITEE HAS JUST CALLED!"

The shorter girl's eyes were open instantly then. "Itsahonortoaccepthisprizefor—" she mumbled before realizing how gray the reality around her was. "Oh, Chisame!" she whined. "That's a mean trick and you know it!"

The hacker pushed Satomi's face around to make her look at Chachamaru. "Your Terminator has just scared Sensei out of his wits! Wind her up before I grow tired and just use her as a mannequin for Chiu's costumes!"

"Ah. Eh. Okay," Hakase clumsily waddled out of bed. "Step aside, if you please, Sensei. Thats' it, what a nice gentleman." She knelt down next to Chachamaru. "Please open the first drawer of my desk and bring me the large key in there."

With a nod, Negi walked to the appointed desk and pulled a big key that wouldn't have looked out of place in a giant toy prop. "Is this what you wish for, Hakase-san?" he asked.

"Yes. Hand it to me."

Obediently, Negi did as he was indicated. Satomi then inserted the key into a big slot on the back of the robot's head and motioned for him to get closer.

"Now listen, Sensei," she instructed. "Once a day, Chachamaru needs an infusion of magical energy to continue performing her vital cycles. That infusion is done by a magically charged subject winding her up by using this key. Evangeline-san used to do it, but now you will have to suffice."

"Me?" he helplessly asked.

"Is there any other magic user in the room?" Satomi asked as she grabbed both his hands and placed them on the key. "It isn't difficult at all. Just twist it around until she asks for you to stop."

"Oh... Very well. I will do my best at this 'screwing' thing to make the three of you proud and happy!" he gasped, gathering his determination up.

"... There's no way you had no clue of what you just said!" Chisame's face had just gained a thick crimson hue.

Slowly, very slowly at first, Negi began to wind Chachamaru up, remembering those times when he used to play with toys, before entering Merdiana Academy. For the first few moments of it, nothing happened, but then, a soft single gasp barely escaped the robot's lips.

_"Oh."_

The boy smiled with relief. "Ahh, how nice... She's all right after all..."

"You have injected new life into her," Hakase commented.

"Do we need to do it every morning, then?" Negi questioned.

"At the morning, at midnight, even at school... at any time you two feel like it, actually," Satomi said.

"Isn't it something improper to do at school?" Negi doubted.

"A short screwing at the classroom won't hurt anyone," Hakase stated.

Chisame returned to her bed and hid her face into her pillow. "My God, I feel dirty just by listening at you!"

"Ah. Ah, ah," Chachamaru lifted her head a bit.

"Is it... right for her to do this?" the teacher seemed more taken aback now.

"It just means you are revving her up," the scientist remained calmed. "It's okay, she likes it. As long as you don't go too rough on her, she'll be fine. You are doing remarkably well for your first time."

He blushed at the acknowledgement. "Well, thank you... To be honest, I always worry about my performances..."

"Ah. Ah, uh oh. Ah," the robot fully opened her eyes. Her whole body had tensed up.

"Is... Is this fine, too?" he gulped.

"Yes, I'd say you two will be reaching the climax of the proccess in a few minutes more. Hmmm, it has taken her longer than usual this time. Maybe last night was too much for her," Satomi estimated.

"No, no, no," Chachamaru began to softly gasp, her voice cracking a bit. Chisame simply groaned.

"Do... Do I need to let her go now?" Negi asked.

"Not yet. Her mouth says 'No', but her body says 'Yes'," Hakase guided him. "I mean, it's a natural reaction. Her programming has not advanced enough to understand her actual breaking point. But her body still needs some more of it. Okay, here it comes. Here it comes..."

Chisame heard nothing but an odd pause then, and she lifted her face up from the pillow to look at the scene again. A pleased looking Satomi and Negi sat behind Chachamaru, who had recovered her usual emotionless appearance.

"Was it good?" Negi hopefully and gently asked, patting the robot on a shoulder.

"Yes," Chachamaru took the key off and handed it back to him. "You are... kind and considerate at it. You are not very skilled, but you will improve with practice."

"Oh, he will get a lot of practice, you can be sure of that," Hakase proudly gave him a few pats on the back. "I'll personally train him at it!"

Chisame just kept on looking down at the three of them, with jaded and cynical eyes.

"Hasegawa-san?" Negi innocently stared up at her bunk. "Is there something troubling you?"

"I need a cold shower," she reluctantly admitted.

* * *

><p>"Good morning, Negi-kun!" Sakaki Makie chirped happily as she passed by running next to the quartet on their way to school.<p>

"Good morning, Negi-sensei, girls!" Konoe Konoka said while rollerblading her way along with an indifferent Asuna. "Ah, you are early today!"

"Actually, I think it's us who are late," Asuna mumbled as she kept her fast pace on, and quickly she and her roommate left the others behind.

"Negi-sensei, one of your shoes is cleaner than the other. You should clean them both equally!" the long haired Kitsu Chiri from Class 2-F sternly pointed out, as she also passed by followed by a blissfully skipping and humming Fuura Kafuka.

Chisame groaned to herself. Things looked almost like the same old lunacy now, as if nothing had happened at all last night. And yet, they were stuck with Chachamaru following her and Hakase, with Negi dragging behind almost reluctantly.

"Sensei!" Chisame called back, annoyed. "Hurry up back there! We'll be the last ones to arrive... again! What kind of example will you set for your students?"

"Ubububu..." he softly babbled."I don't know how we will face Mc Dowell-san from now on..."

"What is there to fear for?" Hakase told him, low enough to be unheard by the other students. "Without Chachamaru, she is no threat at all for us."

Then she felt someone suddenly catching up to her and hissing into her ear in a sinister tone, "Don't ever underestimate the Mistress of Darkness..."

"KYAH!" Satomi cringed aside, shocked despite herself.

Chisame grumbled at the newcomer. Kasuga Misora had just reached them almost from nowhere; the only effort she seemed to be making was an effort to NOT leave them behind. "Kasuga, please! We aren't in the mood for any of your stupid pranks."

"Whoever said I'm joking now?" Misora looked at her eyes. "I'm dead serious," she struggled to keep her voice low. "Last night was just a setback for her, I'm sure. Someone as fearsome and hideously evil as her won't quit that easily!"

"That's what I'm thinking, too," Negi said, deeply concerned. "Oh, sorry. Where are my manners? Good morning, Kasuga-san."

"Good morning to you too, Negi-kun," the sprinter nun smiled back to him, softening her expression. "I don't have a working shift at the church today, so what if we spend the afternoon together?" she invited.

"Oh?" he blinked.

"Ehh?" Chisame blinked as well.

Misora laughed. "Well, I thought it'd be nice to... talk about what to do next now we have a common link between us!"

"Between you two?" the hacker implied rather pointedly.

"Well, between us all, actually," Kasuga agreed against her will. "I guess you girls can come too."

"Like a... circle of friends?" Chisame made a face.

"I have a few things to do after classes," Chachamaru quietly spoke. "But I would be honored to meet with you after that."

"You won't be going back to the Tea Ceremony Club," Satomi forbad strictly. "Not as long as Evangeline-san is there too."

"Hakase-san, please, isn't it bad, to decide those things for her?" their teacher stressed.

"It's not about the Club," the robot stated passively. "It is... something else."

Even Chisame and Misora looked curious about it now, but before they could ask, they had reached the school building.

"Fine," Hasegawa mumbled. "After classes, we'll go to Karakuri's activities, then we'll listen to what you have to say, Kasuga. Are you okay with that, Sensei? Hakase?"

"Yes, it sounds fine," Negi nodded.

Satomi adjusted her glasses, giving her creation an intrigued glare. "I suppose... I can skip my club activities just for this day."

Even Misora nodded wordlessly.

* * *

><p>"Mana-Oneesama! Wait for me!"<p>

Yet Tatsumiya Mana's quick pace did not slow down at all as she marched through the North borders of the school grounds, holding a huge backpack easily hung around her left shoulder. So the much shorter, redheaded girl with her hair collected into four long pigtails tied with green bows had to almost run to catch up to her; it always amazed her how the tall and tanned beauty could walk so fast with so little effort, and no apparent hurry.

"Mana-Oneesama, you're so mean to me!" the petite female panted. "You know my legs are so much shorter than yours!"

"I thought the point of your training was having you trying to reach my level, not having me lowering my level to yours." Calmly, flatly, without bothering to look back, the black haired teenager had answered.

The redhead pouted in a way that almost made her face to inflate, which, along with her tentacle like pigtails nearly snaking around, made her oddly similar to a cartoony octopus for a moment. "Don't mock me!"

Mana made no reply, no further sound. She just kept on walking at the same pace. The pigtailed girl had to rush after her once more to keep up to her.

"Anyway, now that we are away from everyone, can you finally tell me why are we skipping classes today?" she asked.

"The Headmaster called early today," Mana said in a low, serious tone. "Something managed to pass through the barrier near this area around 4:00 A.M., Shiho."

The younger girl, around thirteen years old at most, cringed a little. "H-How big?"

"Nothing too large in size, apparently, but often the small monsters are the worst ones. As you have taught me." She looked back, giving her a dry and wry half-smile.

"Oneesama, the comedy isn't your forte," the offended small Miko pouted again.

"I never joke," the tall female looked ahead once more. "But there's more. The reports also say something else left a major residual magical imprint around this area last night."

The shorter girl in the traditional red hakama and white haori jacket looked up at her identically clothed sempai. "Do you think it has something to do with the vampire scare?"

"Yes. It is the most likely alternative."

Munakata Shiho shuddered, getting closer to her. Then she paused, looking at the gigantic and majestic tree that towered over the whole campus in the distance. "Mana-Oneesama?" she asked.

"Yes?"

"Maybe I should try to do it this week?"

Mana took a brief glimpse into the tree's direction, then shook her head. "I don't believe you are ready yet. And neither is he."

"But at this rate, some other girl will declare herself to Oniichan first sooner or later!"

"Somehow, I doubt it," Mana stated bluntly.

"Hey! What is that supposed to mean? Oniichan has everything a girl could wish for!"

"Other than presence, intelligence, wealth and charisma, you mean?" the dark skinned young woman asked, rather devoid of bitterness, barely questioning in an almost casual way.

"You'll never get married with that attitude, Oneesama," the apprentice humphed.

"I hope so," she stopped, then tensed up, gesturing for Shiho to stop and hush as well. "I think I can feel it" she whispered. "Behind those bushes. Get your charms ready."

With a soft gulping sound, the short girl nodded, quickly pulling a few paper wards out of her long sleeves in a single swift motion. Meanwhile, much faster than that, Tatsumiya unzipped her bag and pulled a large sniper rifle out of it, aiming it towards one of the bushes. The bush suddenly trembled and rustled, and then it seemed to explode to life as Mana shot it and Shiho threw a few wards on it, right after muttering a nervous rapid prayer.

Dodging both the bullet and the pieces of blessed paper, the tiny white blur that had just jumped out into the open ran away as fast as the wind, clutching something into its mouth. Mana took aim again, and then shot once more, missing again much to her frustration.

"Wow!" Shiho gasped behind her. "It's good, Oneesama! I never had seen you missing ever before!"

"Kuso." the tall Miko grunted. Now the thing was fully out of sight, lost in the forest, as fast as it had appeared. "Shiho, did you get to see what it was carrying?"

"Actually, yes." the younger female nodded. "It was a bra!"

Mana tilted her eyes toward her, fixing a creepy, incredulous gaze upon her. "A... what?"

* * *

><p>Ookuchi Akira stepped out of the dressing room, clad in her dark blue one piece school swimsuit, with a thoughtful expression on her features.<p>

After classes, the Swimming Club was taking over the large indoor pool, but for some reason, Akira just couldn't put her heart into it today. Her mind kept going back to the events of the prior night. She just knew there was something off with the story Hakase had told them. If Hasegawa and her roommates had arrived to the room after the 'vampire' had left, why had Negi-sensei ran away after it? How could he know which way had it taken? And how could he go out so quickly, before she and Ako came? Jumping through the window? And why had Hasegawa gone out of her room wearing not but a wrapped bedsheet?

It just didn't add together at all. A Kazumi or Haruna would have pursued the mystery to its ultimate consequences, but Akira preferred to let it slide. For now, at least. Still, it was troubling, and she was sure Ako felt the same way.

The graceful tall girl walked to the pool's edge, ignoring the boys' glares and leerings from the other side of the fence. As always, they gathered around to watch the girls before their own instructor arrived. She was a favorite of them, and she had grown used to it, but even she stopped being the centre of attention when Kuga-sempai emerged out of the pool.

With water droplets glistening all over her slender but fit body, the swimsuit clad Kuga Natsuki stepped out, like a dreamy mermaid becoming human before her adoring subjects. Whenever she did that, even the other girls paused and took notice, drinking on her serene, dignified beauty.

"I wish I could have a body like Kuga-san's," someone whispered.

"She's like a model," they chattered.

"But she's very conceited," another girl confided quietly. "I heard she's a delinquent, too. She even rides a motorcycle, from what Aoi-sempai told me..."

Without saying a single word, not hearing or not caring about the rumors, Kuga marched away as Akira kept on calmly looking at her, until she was out of sight. The older girl went into the dressers, where several of her own classmates were toweling off and putting their clothes back on.

"Hey, someone took my brassiere away," one of them had complained.

The brown haired Higurashi Akane, with a pink towel wrapped around her modest figure, gasped while looking inside of her locker. "It can't be! My underwear's missing, too!"

"So's mine!" another girl despaired.

Class 2-F was a few meters away, pondering the disappearance of their own undergarments.

"There can be only one explanation for this!" Chiri scowled deeply, tightening a fist up and holding it near her meager chest, with bloody revenge burning in her eyes. "There is a shameless pervert between us!"

"Oh, come on, Chiri-chan!" her friend Kafuka laughed, waving a hand around dismissively. "There's no way a perverted underwear thief, the kind of dangerous sex offender we only see in the metropolitan news, is on the loose at this Academy!"

"Then what do you think it is?" their classmate Tsunetsuki Matoi asked.

"It has to be... an Underwear Gnome!" Kafuka said, very sure of herself.

"Say what?" Chiri exclaimed.

"The Underwear Gnomes are known everywhere from America, especially Colorado, to Japan," Kafuka lectured. "They collect underpants and similar items for profit. My mother told me a lot of stories about an infamous and twisted Gnome who roamed this area when she was young. He stole the panties of all girls until two brave martial artists caught him and locked him up at a cave at the hills! No doubt he's back for revenge now!"

Natsuki huffed while finished drying her long black hair. The inanities of those girls sickened her. She stood up from her bench and quickly walked to her locker, willing to go back to her target's pursuit as soon as possible.

She opened its door up and looked inside. Then she cringed, screeching her teeth.

"Something wrong, Kuga-san?" Akane asked her, blinking curiously.

Natsuki turned around fast, slamming the door close and leaning her back against it. "What could be wrong?" she asked dangerously.

"Well, it's just you always wear such expensive bras and panties, I thought you could have been hit as well..." the girl with brown hair hesitated.

"Nonsense. Of course I haven't been hit," Kuga grumbled, looking aside. "No way I'd let something like that to happen to me."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Akane apologized. "You are always watchful and alert, so it's simply to be expected..."

Natsuki had to nod, forcing a feral smirk of self-confidence.

A few minutes later, she awkwardly walked in a stiff fashion through the halls of Mahora, holding her skirt down in a way that almost seemed self-betraying to her attempts to look natural. She couldn't wear her wet swimsuit under her uniform, so she was stuck with that situation until she could reach the Student Council's offices and ask Shizuru for a spare or something. She knew she couldn't trust anyone else on it.

So far, she had been lucky, not running into anyone else. But then she saw her target coming along, followed by his roommates, Shakti's assistant, and that strange girl who looked like a robot. Oh no, out of all the times to find him...

"I still can't help being worried about Ayase-san," Negi was commenting. "I wonder why we can't visit her..."

"I heard from Asakura she lost a lot more blood than me, and she's smaller and weaker than me to start with," Misora confided them. "I figure it's okay. Ako and Shizuna-sensei are with her, after all."

"I only hope so..." Negi sulked before noticing the older girl's presence. "Ah, Kuga Natsuki-san! Good morning! I am Negi Springfield, your English teac—".

"The kid teacher, I know," Natsuki nodded quickly, cursing the fact that hall was so narrow and she just couldn't rush past them like that. "Sorry about not making it to classes lately. Been busy. Still am, so if you excuse me—"

"Is there something I can help you with?" Negi still stood in her way, cluelessly. "You only have to ask—"

"No, there isn't!" Kuga fumbled with the words. "Can you please just step aside? I have no time to waste!"

"Why so angry, Sempai?" Misora asked. "Sensei was just asking you a question..."

Then Negi suddenly seemed about to sneeze. Panicking, Chisame silently pulled a tissue out at full speed and pressed it against his nose. He thanked her with a smile and a nod, blew his nose off as politely as a child could, and smiled in some embarrassment up at Natsuki. "Sorry about that, Kuga-san" he said, the sneeze threat apparently over. "If you have something urgent to do, please do it. But don't keep on skipping classes, okay?"

"I'll see what I can do" the girl began to walk past him. Then her long hair brushed accidentally against his nose.

It was only a small sneeze. Not enough to blow any clothes off, but enough to blow a skirt up. And there was nothing to shred up under it.

Negi, Chisame and Misora stared in paralyzed shock. Hakase merely made a brief disapproving face. Chachamaru's expression did not change at all.

Natsuki stood petrified for a moment, before pulling her skirt back down, her face painted red all over. The boy was stuttering a terrified apology, turning his head around and blushing like crazy. The other girls simply kept on looking at her, not saying a single thing.

There was only one thing she could do now.

Kuga Natsuki had never, ever been a shrieking woman.

But she still had to shriek as loud as she could then.

* * *

><p>"Bwa-ha-ha-ha!" Even now, Misora was laughing so hard her face was red. "Oh, man! Oh, man, that look on Kuga-sempai's face! It was priceless! The only thing that would have made it better is if Kazumi had been there with a camera!"<p>

Chisame took a disgusted sideglare at her. "I ask you again, exactly what kind of nun are you?"

"It is perfectly okay to make fun of those who go commando," Misora said while wiping the laughter tears off her eyes. "It's, um, a sin deserving mockery."

"Where in your Bible do they say that?" the hacker asked. After her own incidents with the stripping sneeze, she couldn't help but feeling some sympathy for Natsuki's plight.

"It's, er, in the Book of Ruth, Chapter 3, Verse 4," Kasuga quickly made her excuse.

"No, it isn't," Hakase calmly denied from where she stood, flipping through the latest _Popular Mechanics_ magazine. The three of them waited next to a magazine stand right outside a small grocery store at the outskirts of Mahora City.

Misora shot the genius a frustrated glare. "You're an atheist, what can you know about the Bible?"

"My lack of belief on its doctrines doesn't mean I haven't studied its text. It has no scientific value, but it still counts as enough of a social and historical implement to merit some research, back when I hadn't decided on a specialty yet," Satomi explained with extreme tranquility.

Misora groaned. "Hey, Chisame-chan. You know, I have found a new sense of respect for your everyday patience."

"I am a martyr of science," Chisame agreed, nodding solemnly.

Chachamaru and Negi walked out of the store then. "Sorry for keeping you waiting!" the boy teacher apologized.

"We can be on our way now," the robot sedately said, holding a bag full with several cans in a hand.

"What's that for, Chachamaru?" Misora asked her.

"It's for... some friends." Keeping her face low, the living machine started to walk away, the four humans following her closely.

"It isn't a trap you're setting for us, right?" Kasuga distrusted.

"No," Chachamaru denied passively.

"Who are those 'friends'?" Satomi scowled. "You never had mentioned them in your personal performance reports."

"I considered they were of no interest for your research fields," the gynoid stated.

"Hoo! That's robot for 'Mind your own business', isn't it?" Misora whistled.

"Kasuga-san, please..." Negi begged.

"I'm surrounded by idiots," Chisame muttered.

They continued walking down the street until they ran into a little black haired girl bawling her eyes out. Concerned, Negi rushed to her side. "What's wrong? Can we help you with something?"

"My-My balloon!" the seven-years old sniffed, pointing up to a tree. "My balloon slipped from my hand and now is stuck in there!"

Chachamaru lifted her head up, focusing her eyes on the treetop. "The object has been located. Still functional, trapped between two upper branches. I will retrieve it."

Her shoes spat fire; literally, as the small jets installed into her feet were turned on, lifting her up into the air. She bonked her head against a thick branch, but she paid no attention to it. Instead, she looked into the foliage, quickly pulling out a shiny red balloon.

The little girl's eyes lit up. "My balloon!"

Chachamaru flew back down, handing it back to her with a polite nod.

"Thank you, Green Hair-san!" the child happily said. Behind her, Negi, Chisame and Misora stared wide-eyed. Hakase only took frantic notes on a worn out notebook, biting her lower lip down.

As they left the contented girlie behind, Misora questioned, "Don't you think you should be more careful with your secret?"

"Which secret?" Chachamaru asked back.

"Well, duh! The one about you being a robot!" the sprinter slapped herself on the head.

"Should I keep that as a secret?" she wondered, flatly. "Hakase-san?"

"No, it's okay," the scientist then smirked. "The more people knows about MY genius, the better!"

"If TV crews start showing up at home, I'll kick you out," Chisame warned.

Right then, Chachamaru stopped abruptly. Her classmates and teacher followed her gaze to where a diminutive old lady in a kimono worked her way up a long set of steps leading to a shrine. Before anyone else could move, the gynoid had flashed next to the gray and old woman, greeting her with a bowing of her head.

"Ah, Chachamaru-chan!" the woman spoke in a nice and warm, but tired and spent, voice. "As pretty as always. Are you going to see your friends?"

The robot nodded again, and then turned around and crouched down, gesturing for the lady to climb onto her back.

"Oh, will you do that for me? You're too kind..."

Satomi did nothing but to take more notes. The others watched, amazed, how Chachamaru helped the woman to mount her, and then followed that by carrying her up to the shrine itself. Once there, the lady thanked her by patting her head with a wrinkled tiny hand.

"Thank you again, Chachamaru. You're such a good girl..."

They still were silent by the time the robot rejoined them. "I am sorry," she said. "My actions have delayed our schedule. I will do my best to prevent any further incidents of this nature."

"Y-You don't have anything to apologize for!" a deeply moved Negi shook his head.

"Is this girl for real?" Misora whispered to Chisame.

"It seems hard to believe Hakase programmed her, doesn't it?" Chisame whispered back.

Hakase overheard, arching an eyebrow, but opted to stay silent on the matter.

Finally, the robot led them into a large empty lot. Only a few old walls stood there, seemingly the final remains of a house brought down long ago.

"So, this is the place?" Hasegawa asked. "Who the heck could you meet at a place like this?"

Chachamaru didn't voice her reply. Instead, she only crouched down and started opening the cans, making small cooing sounds that were as bland as oddly moving. Attracted by the sound of her voice and the smell of the food, kittens and cats of all kinds and sizes began to show up from behind every wall, softly meowing and gathering around the newcomers, especially Chachamaru herself.

"Chachamaru," Satomi blinked, "What is the meaning of this...?"

"They depend on me," the robot kept her voice low as she fed a black and white kitty. "They all lost their homes. The Master allowed me to care after them. Would you please do the same thing?"

Misora giggled, picking a fat kitten up and scratching its stomach. "I wonder if Cocone would like one of these..."

"I don't like animals," Satomi scowled slightly. "They disrupt the conditions needed for a peaceful working environment."

"I only ask to keep them here," Chachamaru pleaded in a heartfelt monotone. "I promise not to bring them home."

"I don't know..." Hakase doubted.

"Please, Hakase-san...!" Negi, with stars in his eyes, held a purring tabby near her face. "Isn't it the cutest thing you've ever seen?"

"GAH! Sensei, keep that dirty thing away from me, please! Who knows how many germs it holds! Okay, Chachamaru, you can continue supervising these... felines as long as you keep them confined to this area!" she relented.

"Thank you," the machine bowed deeply.

Chisame scoffed before deciding to pet a cat herself. It was a small thingy with dark fur and very bright eyes that had caught her attention. Smiling a bit, she crouched down next to it and carefully reached for its head. "There, there, Cutie... Never fear, I'm just going to—"

Then the cat bit her fingers cruelly, with teeth as sharp and pointy as a bear trap.

"YEEE-OWWWW!" Chisame howled. "THAT'S IT! I'M GOING TO KILL THAT $%#& BEAST!"

"Hasegawa-san, please, no!" Negi begged.

"It was just a bite, Chisame-chan!" Misora laughed. "Don't be such a baby!"

"I HAVE TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME 'CHISAME-CHAN'!"

* * *

><p>"If it gets infected, I'll retaliate," Chisame mumbled while the five of them walked back towards her dorm. She was finishing wrapping her bitten index finger in bandages, with a horrible sour expression etched into her face.<p>

"You always are drowning in a glass of water," Misora carelessly said. "But I suppose it was to be expected from a hikkikomori."

Chisame tossed a killer glare into her direction. "How have you just called me?"

Negi blinked with curiosity. "What does that term mean?"

"Hikkikomori," Chachamaru read from her memory data banks. "Contemporary term popularly employed at Japan to designate the so-called 'shut-ins', people who spends their time locked inside of their homes, rejecting social contact with others. See also, NEET, Otaku, Fanboy, Fangirl."

Chisame growled while pulling her keys out, the five stopping before the building's main door. "If you insist on being a dictionary, I'll make you sleep on the bookshelf!"

She opened the door, and all of them walked in. As they went for Chisame and Hakase's rooms, Negi couldn't help but stopping before the door to Yue and Nodoka's living quarters. He looked at it with a distant and worried expression, silently mulling to himself.

"Sensei?" Chisame asked him. "Snap out of it. They'll be okay."

"I know..." he sighed. "But, even so... I know it's my fault. They were targeted because they were my students, and the closest ones to us..."

"How is that your fault?" Misora huffed. "You aren't responsible for what that witch decided to do on her own."

Chachamaru seemed to be somewhat taken aback by those words. "The Master is... a complex person. She may seem ruthless and uncaring, but she never takes actions without a reason for it."

"No reason is good enough for putting us at the hospital!" Kasuga adamantly claimed.

"I'm sorry for your problems and Ayase-san's," Chachamaru bowed to her. "If I could do something to make up for it..."

Misora seemed interested. "Anything?"

"No matter what are you thinking, the answer is 'No'," Hakase warned her.

"Will you EVER let her to take her own decisions?" Misora snapped back. "By the way, Chachamaru, why do you think Eva skipped classes again today? You know her well. Don't you think she may be planning her revenge?"

"The possibilities of that are... near a ninety percent," the robot replied reluctantly. "The Master is not a person to take offenses or setbacks lightly, and once she puts her mind into something, she will not back down until she gets it."

"See? I told you!" Misora seemed vindicated. "The only thing we can do now is to counterattack while she's still weak and helpless! Or else she'll suck us drier than Nitta-sensei's lectures!"

"But she's my student, *and* your classmate!" Negi was scandalized. "What you are suggesting is simply wrong! Maybe we should just try to talk it over with her..."

Hakase was just looking at Chisame, who had frozen solid at the door. "What has happened?" the black haired teen asked.

"Noise. From inside," Hasegawa whispered, her voice stiff.

"Crap, it's her!" Misora instinctively hid behind Chachamaru. "It's an ambush!"

Negi took a breath in and walked inside. "I'll deal with it," he said.

"Sensei, no..." Chisame began, but he already had made his way inside. "Children today. Never listening to their elders."

"It isn't the Master's style for a lethal ambush," Chachamaru estimated. "She would prefer a grand entrance with a loud announcement of her overall superiority."

Hakase gave her a look of stupefaction. "In how many lethal ambushes has she taken you into?"

Negi had stopped right at the entrance to the bedroom, his eyes wide and his mouth open. Chisame had just stopped right behind him, gasping and making a terrified face. Hakase followed in, pushing her glasses up to look at the room's scene, with a puzzled face. Finally, after Chachamaru walked in and showed no recognition of whoever was there, Misora dared to warily follow in, peeking over the robot's right shoulder.

She saw a small furry animal, all white as snow, with a long tail and shiny black eyes and nose, sitting on top of a huge hill of feminine underwear, with a cigarette on its mouth. Its paws danced over the keyboard of Chisame's computer, as the screen before it displayed several images of a girl who looked a lot like Hasegawa herself, wearing several fancy and rather revealing dresses.

"Chamo...!" Negi could say at last.

The animal finally noticed it was not alone anymore, turning its head around to look at them. It lifted a paw up casually, and then it spoke, in a perky and cheerful voice.

"Oh, hey there, Bro! Nice place you have here!"

* * *

><p>For Negi, it was a moment of infinite joy.<p>

For Chisame, it was a moment of infinite terror.

For everyone else, it was seeing a smoking white weasel at a computer, on top of a mountain of underwear.

"Chamo...!" the teacher ran to grab the animal in a tight, heartfelt hug, squeezing it against his chest. "It's been such a long, long time...!"

"My dear Bro!" the weasel cried back. "You have grown so much...!"

Chisame just pushed them aside and yelled while looking at her computer. "My webpage! You were browsing through my webpage!" she voiced her despair, completely forgetting Misora and Chachamaru were there as well.

"Huh?" the furry thing looked back at her. "It was bookmarked, so I didn't see any problem with it!"

"YOU SEE NO PROBLEM WITH TURNING A STRANGER'S COMPUTER ON AND THEN— Oh my God," she clutched her face between her hands. "I'm talking to a white giant rat. And the rat is TALKING BACK TO ME!"

"That's such a rude thing to say!" the small mammal sounded offended. "A rat? Me? Miss, I'll inform you I'm Albert Chamomile the Third, a noble descendant of the mythical Caith Sith ermines! I'm also the Bro here's best and closest confidante, so you'd better—"

"You're a peeper and a panty thief!" Chisame growled, grabbing him by the throat, yanking him away from Negi and throttling him. "Where did you get all this underwear, you... you sicko hallucination!"

"ANIMAL ABUSE...!" the critter managed to yell for dear life.

"Hasegawa-san, please, let him go!" Negi tried to intervene. "You're going to hurt him!"

Misora, meanwhile, took advantage of Chisame's distraction to walk over to the computer and look at it. "So, you have a webpage, huh? This is what keeps you locked here all day long?"

"KYA!" Moved by panic, Chisame let Chamo fall down to the floor with a heavy thud, then stepped in between Kasuga and the PC. "Don't look! It's nothing of your business!"

"Ehhhh?" Misora was perplexed. "What's the big deal? You don't make porn, do you?"

"O-OF COURSE I DON'T!"

"You should. You have the shape for it," the ermine said from the floor.

Chisame stomped on him a few times. "You shut up like a normal animal would!"

Chamo laughed between brief yelps of pain punctuated by each stomp. "So! Ow! Worth! Ouch! It! Ooof!"

Hasegawa then realized he was looking up her skirt. With her face bright red, she kicked him against a wall. "Just die already!"

Negi knelt down in tears next to the tiny bleeding figure. "Chamo..." he sobbed."Don't die..."

"I have just witnessed Eden..." Chamo spoke up with a suddenly deep and manly husky voice, his head tilting aside. "I can perish happily now..."

* * *

><p>Five minutes later, however, he was perfectly okay now, sitting on top of the coffee table and laughing happily at the small group gathered around him.<p>

"As soon as I learned the Bro was going to leave Wales, I knew I had to go after him, no matter if he went to the end of the world!" he narrated. "Sadly, I didn't arrive in time to come with him, but I managed to learn of your ultimate destination thanks to my amazing information compiling skills, Bro!"

"You hid into Anya's underwear drawer and spied on her again, didn't you?" Negi asked, not really annoyed, simply curious.

"Well, heh heh, it's a tried and true strategy..." the ermine excused himself.

"Where did you and Sensei first meet?" Satomi inquired. "I have a hard time imagining any common interest between the two of you."

"Oh, it happened five years ago, at the hills of our homeland" the mammal reminisced. "Somehow, despite my incredible skills at surviving in the wilderness, I was caught into a bear trap set up by a cruel and vile poacher..."

"Actually, it was our tutor at the time. He wanted to catch whoever was stealing the undergarments of the village's girls," the young boy pointed out.

"He still was cruel and vile!" Chamo protested. "Anyway, the Bro set me free, and he even fixed my broken leg with a healing spell! He also took a harsh punishment for letting me go!" he cried.

"It was only a light slap on the head..." Negi laughed it off.

"Ever since, I took an oath of honor to help my Brother to become a Magister Magi as great as his father! Maybe you mundanes don't know it, but the Magister Magi is the highest rank an aspiring mage can reach! And it can't be attained without the help of a good partner like me!" the ermine boasted.

"You have stolen all this lingerie from underage schoolgirls" Chisame dryly said while holding a rather racy pair of panties up. "Do you expect us to believe you have any honor to place oaths onto?" She paused. "By the way, where did you get these ones?"

"Next door," Chamo simply replied.

"Next door?" Chisame's face betrayed shock. "No way these may belong to Miyazaki, so..."

Misora let a whistling out. "Never expected it from Yue-chan, either."

"That... That doesn't matter!" Chisame slammed a hand on the table, her face red. "What if someone finds all of this here? We'll be branded as perverts! We'll never live it down!"

Satomi held a match up. "What if we burn the evidence down?"

"That's it! What a great idea!" Hasegawa nodded.

"No, my precious innocent dearies no!" the critter yelled. "It's not their fault!"

Negi casted a confused glare on him. "I'll never understand that strange hobby of yours, Chamo..."

"Oh, you will, Bro," the ermine confided him. "Believe me, sooner or later, you will. By the way, are these girls your Pactio partners? I'm impressed! Little more than a week here, and you already got four of them!"

"Ch-Chamo!" Negi blushed. "Of course they aren't! Don't joke about that!"

Chisame had a bad feeling as she saw the boy, and even Misora, blushing. "What's a Pactio partner? And what's the embarrassing deal about it?"

She wasn't sure she wanted to know, but she figured remaining ignorant could prove to be even worse.

* * *

><p>Chamo sat back, smiled a little snug ermine smirk, and began his explanation.<p>

"The word 'Pactio' is Latin for 'Alliance'. It's the union of a Mage and a Partner to become companions in battle," he said. "Traditionally, wizards need someone to help them while they cast their spells... to protect their backs and such. The partner subordinated to the mage is called the Minister Magi, and normally plays a Paladin or Knight role to support the mage's actions. Are you following me?"

"I already knew all that," Misora said.

"Me as well," Chachamaru nodded.

"Chao had told me a few details on the matter," Satomi reminisced.

Chisame sweated. "Am I the only person at the class who has led a normal life until now?"

"Then pay attention, Ignorant-Sis," the ermine scolded her. "In exchange for their services as the guardians and protectors of the magic users, the Ministers receive a boost of magic power from their masters. It increases their bodies' strenght, agility and speed! Their stamina grows, as well as their mental endurance! And best of all, every Minister gets a special Artifact that allows them to use magical abilities of their own! Such abilities are usually born out of the Minister's subconscious mind, and thus, the Artifact generally matches the Minister's personality."

"No way," Hasegawa denied.

"Yes, way!" Chamo insisted. "A long, long way, actually!"

"Okay. And how is that fantastic alliance established?" Chisame moaned. "Through a signed contract with two leprechauns and a Fairy Godmother as witnesses?"

Negi blushed again and stammered. "U-Um, not that way, actually. It's... somewhat complex to explain—"

"Complex, nuthin'!" Chamo laughed. "The Magister and the Minister simply have to kiss each other!"

Chisame choked on her own saliva. "A-A-A KISS?"

"Well, yeah" the animal was unfettered. "If they don't like each other enough to share a kiss, then how could they hope to protect each other's lives? The link between Minister and Magister must be very deep and strong. There are a few other ways to establish a Pactio, yeah, but they are too bothersome, and almost no one uses them nowadays."

"But that's the Provisional Pactio, isn't it?" Hakase seemed to remember. "Chao once mentioned there was another kind of Pactio, one deeper and more powerful than the one established through a kiss."

"Ah, yes, the Permanent Pactio. It acts as a definitive union between Magister and Minister, but the Bro's still too young to even consider that" the ermine answered. "You can do several Provisional Pactios at the same time with no problem, but only Magister Magi of a really high level can establish two or more Permanent Pactios at the same time. It happens, however. Ever heard of King Solomon? The legends of the Magical World say he achieved such a knowledge of the arcane arts he managed to amass a whole harem— I mean, team— of Permanent Ministra. Afterwards, he founded the basis for the current Magician's Society Goetia, and he—"

"Stop the history lesson right now!" Chisame shouted. "If a Provisional Pactio is achieved through a kiss, then how do you get a Permanent Pactio?"

"Well..." Chamo seemed uneasy as his friend and Misora looked even more awkward, "I... I'll explain it to you when you're older..."

Chisame slumped back down. "I knew it. Then it's like dating compared to getting married, isn't it?"

"A very astute observation, Chiu-chan!" the critter nodded quickly. "As a matter of fact, yes, many Minister and Magister end up marrying each other! That's why usually the pairings are between a female and a male, although there can be any sorts of variations on it."

She stared daggers at him. "Never call me 'Chiu-chan' again if you value your life! And now I'm even more sure Sensei doesn't need to think of such things yet! Don't tell me that's the only reason why you came all the way here!"

Chamo seemed offended. "Do you think I would be here only to push an agenda upon you, Bro?" He turned some huge Bambi eyes up at Negi.

"Of course not, Chamo!" the brat heartfully replied, annoying Chisame even more.

Misora sighed, then looked at the window. "It's getting late," she noticed.

"Well, go back home then," Chisame humphed.

"No way I'm going out into the night again as long as Evangeline is out there hunting," the shorter girl cringed.

"But you can't leave your friend Cocone alone all night long, either," Negi pointed out. "I can escort you home if you want..."

"No need for that, Sensei!" she laughed. "I'll just call her and tell her to go sleep with the next door neighbor. She never makes any questions; I used to send Cocone-chan with her whenever I slept over at Yuuna's."

"Don't reject the chance, Bro..." Chao whispered, chuckling as he playfully elbowed the boy's chest. "Sleeping in the same room as four pretty girls! Someday, you'll look back at this night and think—"

A book thrown at his face silenced him.

Chisame was just as surprised herself as the others she hadn't been the one to toss the tome. She looked at Satomi with wide perplexed pupils. "Hakase...?"

There was the slightest fade of pinkish red over the scientist's cheeks. "My hand slipped. Sorry."

* * *

><p>Hakase Satomi woke up with a start shortly after midnight.<p>

She had been having _that_ kind of dreams again. She had not had them for months now; she thought she was over them by then. And yet, they had just returned.

It was the ermine's fault. He and his dirty talking about nonsense like lust and romance. Satomi sat up on the bed grumbling to herself, feeling strangely hot and bothered, as she had not felt for so long. She knew she couldn't get to sleep again until she took charge of her annoying mounted up tension.

The last thing she needed in her life was being reminded of Kazuya-sempai.

It had been a stupid girlie crush, the kind of thing she was supposed to be above of. She would be mortified if anyone knew about it; she suspected Chao and Chisame did know, but neither of them would ever talk about it, and she preferred it that way. No matter what, she had to leave that alone, forgotten and buried.

And yet, the need was there again. It needed to be dispatched away and quickly.

Her eyes wandered into the darkness until they found Chachamaru, sitting quietly next to Negi-sensei's futon, with the sleeping child's head resting on her lap.

"Chachamaru," her creator whispered.

"Yes?" her creation whispered back.

"I... I... I will be at the toilet for, um, a substantial amount of time," Satomi took extra efforts to keep her own voice barely audible. "If anyone should attempt to enter there during that period, you are authorized to stop them at any and all costs. Especially the ermine."

"Understood" the robot said softly. She looked at the drawer where the animal slept like a log, on top of a comfy bed made of stolen underwear.

Satomi nodded while standing up and heading for the bathroom's door. She may not have known the first thing about popular sexual lingo and innuendo, but she was well read, and academically, she was well familiarized with the mechanics of the exercise she was about to engage into.

Not to mention, well, she had the practice of all those months ago.

Stupid Kazuya-sempai.

He never had even noticed her.

It hurt now, like an old wound that had just reopened.

Hakase slammed the door closed after herself.

At the upper bunk of the bed, Misora's eyes were fully open. She did not move at all, but her mind raced faster than her feet at any day at the track. Had she just been woken up by the sounds of Hakase Satomi actually going to do what she thought she was going to do? Or was she still dreaming? Nah, she had to be dreaming. No way the Prof could—

On second thought, maybe it was better if she wasn't dreaming it. Because if she dreamed about the mere notion of Hakase doing that, what did that say about herself?

It was bad enough she was sharing a bed with Hasegawa Chisame of all people. Actually, it had not been that bad at first; Chisame slept quietly and was not the type that rolled around. But now that Hakase had made those small noises, that seemed to have pushed her roommmate to the brink of waking up.

"Nnnh," Chisame mumbled sleepily, feeling someone near her, forgetting all about going to sleep with the young sister. "Sensei. Here again? Idiot."

Without any warning, the sleeping girl drove a fist into Misora's chin, and hard, making her to squeal under her breath. For someone who vegetated all day long before a computer, Chisame sure packed a mean punch!

And apparently she also half-heard Misora's choked mild sobbings of pain, because her face softened after it. "Mmghhh. No cry," the long haired girl mumbled. "No, moron. Sorry. Sorry."

Misora was surprised when the sleeping schoolgirl put her hands on her shoulders, vaguely pulling her towards herself, allowing her chin to rest on her left shoulder. Kasuga was starting to get a truly bizarre, but probably accurate, idea of Negi-kun and Chisame's recent sleeping habits.

And yet, it felt warm and comfortable.

Misora relaxed herself in Chisame's loose sisterly embrace, smiling a little. She closed her eyes slowly and allowed herself to drift off into sleep.

* * *

><p>"So, Eva's not coming today again, huh?" Misa asked as she eyed the empty seat.<p>

"Rumor is Chachamaru left her and moved in with Negi-sensei, Prof and Chi-chan," Kazumi giggled with a wink and a nod. "Who knows what went on there!"

Asuna perked up a bit, distracted from her morning sleepy stupor. "She did?"

"That's what my sources have told me," the reporter answered.

"Maybe she's just staying there for maintenance," Madoka theorized. "Hey, Chao, do you know something about it?"

The Chinese girl shook her head. "Can't say I've been told-yo," she said. "I'll ask Satomi after classes, ne?"

"Please stop that!" Ayaka, rather annoyed at what she was hearing, clapped her hands, standing up as she heard those small, already familiar to her, steps coming from the outside. "Everyone greet Sensei!"

The class obeyed as Negi walked in followed by Chisame, Hakase, Chachamaru and Misora. "Good morning, everyone!" he told them after they voiced their welcome. He acknowledged Sayo's presence with a brief nod into her direction, and the ghost smiled back gently. Only he and Misora could see her, as the ones who had performed the reveal spell on her, but she still was happy to have at least two people she could talk to now.

"Are Nodoka and Yue still on sick leave?" Kasuga asked while sitting down next to Ako.

"Yes, Haruna also took the day off to look after them" the nurse replied. "But Nodoka should rejoin tomorrow. She got nothing but a shock and a nervous crisis."

Negi sighed, opening his roster book to take notes on the day's absences. Chisame, meanwhile, sulked moodily at her own desk. First forced up to sleep with the brat, and now with the nun. Waking up to find her hugging her in her sleep had been rather disturbing, even if Misora had just laughed it off and passed it off as nothing.

"Any news on Mc Dowell-san?" he asked.

"Wouldn't you know-de gozaru?" Kaede asked curiously.

"More specifically, wouldn't Chachamaru-chan know?" Fuuka gave the robot an inquisitive glare.

The gynoid denied with her head, sedately, her head a bit low. Negi couldn't help but feeling bad about her. The class' eyes were set on her, as if trying to silently pry a direct answer from her. Ayaka in particular seemed to be very antsy and touchy on the matter of her recent living developments.

"W-Well, I'll visit her after classes to see how she is doing, okay?" he said, with a shaky short laugh of reinsurance. Chachamaru actually seemed to perk up at that, to some degree, but Misora, Chisame and Hakase all made faces that seemed to shout 'BAD IDEA! BAD IDEA!' Unfortunately for them, he was oblivious as he opened his textbook. "Well, now, let's check the exercises on Page 42..."

And so, they were there, late that afternoon, at the doors of a small cottage at the Northern Mahora woods. Misora had quickly excused herself saying she had things to do at the church, but Satomi had stubbornly insisted on coming with Chachamaru even if it meant missing another meeting of the Jet Propulsion Club. Chisame had been torn between following and heading back home for another session of being Chiu, but at the end she had stupidly decided to come along. She still was berating herself as Negi warily knocked at the door.

"Hello...?" he shyly said. "Mc Do— Evangeline-san? It's me, Negi-sensei. We were... worried about you. We've brought Chachamaru-san..."

There was no reply.

"No one's here," Chisame grumbled. "Maybe she's out sucking bunnies dry or something. Let's go back home".

"No," Chachamaru touched the door. "My scanning of our residence shows her biosignature inside. It feels faint and weak, however. She is sick. We must enter."

"Okay. Fine," Satomi sighed. "Did you happen to bring any keys?"

"I am a key," Chachamaru calmly produced a key that sprang off the tip of her right index finger.

Hakase blinked. "I didn't install that into you!"

"The Master and Chao-san did it," the robot said as she opened the door and walked inside.

"How could they do that without informing me?" Satomi exclaimed. "And why didn't you report it to me, either?"

But they were ignoring her, Negi and Chachamaru entering the house, Chisame following in after a few moments of hesitation. Hakase sputtered to herself for a second, ballying her hands up into fists, before finally going after them, closing the door behind herself.

Was this how Chisame felt all the time?

* * *

><p>The three youngsters walking behind Chachamaru paused and gasped in awe of their surroundings. The living room of the cottage was lovingly decorated like a fairytale scene, complete with dozens and dozens of dolls and stuffed animals lined up on several shelves.<p>

"It doesn't exactly look like the hideout of a bloodthirsty fiend," Hakase observed, pushing her glasses up.

"I guess it doesn't," Chisame kept staring at several of the dolls, getting tons and tons of ideas for new Chiu costumes. "I suppose this is your personal touch, Chachamaru?"

"No, all of this was brought in by the Master herself," the robot passed a finger over the back of a chair, examining the fine layer of dust on it. "But she hasn't cleaned up. She isn't used to do it herself."

"It's all really pretty," Negi marveled. "It feels much warmer and nicer here than I thought..."

"Who's there?" a muffled, wheezing and angry voice came from upstairs. The four of them looked up to see Evangeline standing at the top of the stairs leading to the upper floor, with her nose bright red, her eyes half closed, and wearing pink pajamas. She had several potion bottles clutched in her small hands. "Ah, it's you" she wheezed, forcing an evil smirk up. "On top of all the indignities you have piled up onto me, now you dare to invade my home..."

"We aren't here to fight, Mc Do— Evangeline-san," Negi stumbled with his treatment of her once again. "We were concerned about your wellbeing, especially Chachamaru-san. We simply wanted to know if you were okay..."

"You? Worried about me? HAH!" the vampiress laughed dryly. "Why should you be? What sort of pathetic attempt is this? You can't fool me, not after centuries of experience... Where's Kasuga? Was she too cowardly to come? It doesn't matter, I always can catch her later..."

"D-Don't say such things!" Chisame stammered. "Is that any way to be thankful? It's absurd to keep on fighting when we all are classmates..."

Eva flexed her fingers and shook her head. "No. This won't be a fight" she coughed. "It's only a witch twisting the necks of three chickens and a dirty traitor doll. Hardly a fight at all..."

Satomi rolled her eyes around. "Yes, sure. Like you matched up to Chachamaru's strenght so well last time..."

"SILENCE!" Evangeline yelled. "Even without my magical power, I still can destroy the lot of you having the home advantage..."

"Evangeline-san, please," Negi all but begged. "Stop these hostilities and go back to classes like a good student after you've recovered... Stop being mean to your classmates and skipping classes, or you will have to repeat the term..."

"YOU DOLT!" the blonde screamed. "EVEN IF I ATTENDED CLASSES, MY CURSE WOULDN'T ALLOW ME TO GRADUATE!"

"Master, you should be in your bed," Chachamaru said. "You know you get too weak when you fall ill..."

"Weak? Me? PAH!" she gave a step forward. "Let's settle this once and for all! Only then I'll feel better!"

The teacher stepped in front of his human students, determined to protect them, taking a firm hold of his staff. "If I defeat you, will you stop attacking your peers?"

"I have no peers," Eva sneezed loudly, her next step wobbling. "No peers— No equals— No—"

Her evil smile faltered, her eyes went blank, and she fainted forward down a few steps, like a limp doll.

"GAH! EVANGELINE-SAN!" Negi shouted.

"Master!" Chachamaru ran to her side despite Satomi's unregistered warnings, picking the small undead up in her arms. "Sensei, she is under a severe fever. This season often harms her body defenses. Please help me to carry her to her bed."

"Y-yes, of course!" he quickly rushed to join them.

"What kind of vampire falls sick and feverish?" Chisame asked, disbelieving.

"Due to the seal on her powers, the Master is only a normal ten years old child, in terms of immunity and health," the robot explained as she and Negi took the house's owner to her bedroom, a nice and cozy place fully decorated on pink and black. They placed her on a large and soft bed with rich, expensive sheets and covers. "She couldn't be a threat to anyone for now."

"Oh, no?" Satomi asked, following them into the room with Hasegawa.

Chachamaru was reviewing the room's medicine cabinet now. "No. And she already emptied her medicines. She does that when she is left to her own devices. She simply consumes everything she thinks could help her."

"She really looks to be in a rather sorry state," Satomi pondered.

"Maybe she caught a cold when you stripped her down that night, Sensei," Chachamaru passively stated.

"I-I-I'm very sorry!" he seemed on the verge of tears.

"It's... okay," the gynoid said. "But please, could you look after her while I go to buy more medicines? I also must feed the cats..."

"Do you expect us to stay alone here with HER?" Chisame squealed.

"She won't harm you under the present conditions, I promise," Karakuri replied.

Hakase sighed. "Very well, very well, you have my authorization to go. We will look after Eva-san."

"DON'T DECIDE THAT FOR THE REST OF US!" Chisame protested.

"I'll stay, too," Negi nodded firmly. He smiled at the two girls. "Thanks for your generous assistance, Hasegawa-san, Hakase-san."

"I still... haven't said..." Chisame's voice trailed off. "Oh, forget it."

"I will be back shortly. You have my eternal gratitude," Chachamaru was as polite as ever as she bowed to them and left.

Once they were alone, Chisame just grabbed one of Negi's ears, one of Satomi's ears, and tugged on both at them at once, as hard as she could. All the while keeping a stony, dead serious expression.

* * *

><p>They had been sitting silently around the bed for a few minutes now.<p>

Negi simply twiddled his fingers around uneasily, briefly touching Eva's forehead to control her temperature at random intervals. Satomi had taken a book dealing on the mechanics of magic from one of the room's shelves and was flipping through it to see if it had any application to her research. Chisame was just using her laptop to reply to a few e-mails from her fans.

Then the small blonde moaned. "Thirsty..." she kept her eyes closed."I'm thirsty..."

"AH!" Negi stood up immediately. "I'll bring you some water!"

He ran outside and returned moments later with a glass full of icy water. However, the vampiress rejected it by shaking her head as soon as she felt it near her face. "No... Not that..."

"Then what?" Negi eagerly asked. "Tea? Soda? Juice?"

He had his reply when the little girl chomped the air aggressively, trying to reach for his fingers.

"Still hasn't changed her tune at all," Chisame groaned, even as Eva coughed loudly.

"Sensei, you told us she has a need to drink YOUR blood to disrupt her curse, didn't you?" Hakase pondered.

"Yes. Why?" he blinked.

Satomi sighed. "Then you'd better not supply her with any of it. I'll do it instead."

"What?" Chisame widened her eyes. "You can't be serious."

"It could be an interesting experience. I have never had a chance to investigate on a vampire's feeding habits," the scientist flatly replied, pulling two fingers into Evangeline's mouth. Not missing her chance, Eva bit on them at once, making Hakase to yelp, much to her roommates' panic. However, she calmed them down with a gesture. "Relax, please. It's... okay, I suppose. It's just like taking a sample of your own blood," she bit her own lower lip as she watched the blonde hungrily sucking her fingers, until she opened her mouth and allowed them to slip off leaving a thin trail of red.

"If you become Dracula and try to bite me at night, I'll stake you," Hasegawa had to warn.

"She won't be turned after losing so little blood," Negi pulled a few bandages out and carefully, lovingly, wrapped Satomi's bite marks with them, making her to blush just a bit. Fortunately, he was too busy looking at her hands to notice the change on her face. Chisame, however, did notice, but remained mum on it.

"Uh... I feel hot..." Evangeline gurgled sleepily, turning around at a side, facing away from the window.

"Oh, of course! The sunlight!" Negi jumped up again, running to the window and closing the curtains, leaving the sunset's lights out.

But then the small girl shuddered, curling up into a ball. "Aaahh— C-cold..."

Chisame took a wary grip of her pajamas. "She's soaked on sweat!"

"Sweating the fever up, I see," Satomi noticed. "Sensei, would you leave the room? We are going to need to change her garments up."

"O-Of course!" he nodded before bolting out of the bedroom, closing the door behind himself.

He breathed deeply easing his back against the door, attempting to collect his thoughts. But then the girls' voices from inside distracted him.

"Okay, lift a leg, now the other... That's it, I'm pulling her pants down..."

"Oh, for the love of Pythagoras! What kind of underwear is that!"

"No joke! It's a freaking thong!"

"And see-through!"

"It doesn't suit her at all."

"Well, personality-wise, it might, from what we have learned about her recently. But even so…"

"Let's see if we can find something better for her... Oh God, all these drawers have nothing but even worse stuff! And what the hell is this thing? GAH, IT'S VIBRATING!"

Negi's face had become as red as a tomato by then. Even if he had not a complete idea of why, actually.

Finally, Chisame poked her head out of the bedroom and gestured for him to come back in. "We're done," she said. "The Sleeping Beauty is doing like a log again."

"Oh" Negi walked in stepping soft and silently, retaking his seat between both of his roommates. "Thanks for your help," he quietly spoke.

Evangeline was now wearing baby blue pajamas decorated with several tiny ribbons, laying on her back and sleeping like a baby. She looked extraordinarily cute and harmless, with her small mouth half open making the most diminutive wheezing sounds.

He didn't notice he had kept on staring at her until he caught on Chisame's disapproving glare. "S-sorry," he looked aside.

"Don't let her appearance to fool you," the brown haired teen lectured. "Cute as she may be, she's still an implacable enemy, and I doubt she'll be thankful."

"Hmmm," Satomi kept her nose buried back into the book she was examining. "You know, I never had really thought about it, but now I do wonder about the exact circumstances of her vampiric nature."

"What do you mean?" Chisame asked her.

"Well, it's simply she lacks any of the weaknesses the folklore assigns to vampires. She doesn't burn under the sunlight, she has no need for sleeping at a coffin with dirt from her homeland. She goes to swimming classes, so water is not an issue to her, either. I have seen her wearing silver accessories, and from what Sensei told us, Misora's cross had no effect on her."

"She might have overcome those weaknesses through her witchcraft," Negi observed.

"Ah, yes. When she was attacking the librarians, she told us she knew your father, didn't she?" Chisame remembered. "Was she some sort of rival for him?"

"I don't know..." the teacher lamented. "I don't know as much about my father as I'd like..."

"It's a shame," Hakase mused. "If only she were more cooperative, I could learn a lot about her scientific condition, and you about your father."

Negi perked up. "That's it. I think there may be a way!"

"Huh?" Chisame frowned.

He immediately sulked down. "But I don't know if it's the right thing to do..."

"What is it?" Satomi was curious now.

"Well, I... I thought of using a special spell to look into her memories, but that would be unethical to do without her consent..."

"Let's do it!" Hakase enthused.

"Whuh?" Negi and Hasegawa chorused.

"Sensei, learning knows of no moral bounds, and no self imposed barriers should stand in the way of our discoveries!" Satomi put a hand over her own flat chest. "I'm sure the future will forgive you! Almost any taboo is worth breaking for the sake of enlightenment for the future generations!" She grabbed him by the shoulders, her eyes sparkling madly now.

"Oh no, I'm rooming with Doctor Mengele!" Chisame gasped.

"Um... Well..." Negi sweated. "I'm sure Evangeline-san won't be hurt..."

His mind made up, he grabbed his staff and held it up above Eva's sleeping body. He twirled it around, until it floated by itself over the bed much to Chisame's awe and shock, glowing with a faint yellow light.

He gulped as well. It felt horribly wrong, but if it was the only way to learn more about his father...

_"Rastel Maskil Magister..."_ he chanted."_Nympha Somni Regina Maeve..."_

Recognizing the words in Latin, Satomi asked, "It is some species of attempt to delve into her dreams, isn't it? Can we take a look with you?"

After a brief moment of doubt, Negi nodded, extending a hand to her. Hakase grabbed it quickly, then grabbed Chisame's right hand in turn without allowing her to protest.

_"Portam Aperiens Ad Se Me Alliciat,"_ the boy finished, and then a blinding white light filled Chisame's eyes.

* * *

><p>When she regained her eyesight a moment later, the first thing she noticed was a burning need to kill Hakase.<p>

Then, she noticed she was fully naked except for her glasses.

Then, even more of an urge to kill Hakase.

Afterwards, she saw Negi and Satomi also there, as naked as herself (again, save the glasses), although their bodies were rather featureless with no visible nipples or genitals.

Even so, the urge to throttle Hakase had not departed.

"Why... WHY ARE WE ALL OF A SUDDEN NAKED IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE?" Chisame yelled as loud as she could, while covering her own featureless crotch and breasts with her hands.

"EEEEEEE! I'M SORRY!" Negi cried. "No one can travel into the psychic plane while keeping their clothes! If it makes you feel any better, these aren't our real bodies, but astral projections of ourselves! We are still sitting around Evangeline-san's bed!"

"What is there to be embarrassed about?" Satomi patted herself on her non descript private areas. "No actual sexual organs are shown at all here."

"It's still creepy!" Chisame huffed. "Our faces are fully detailed, even including our glasses, but our bodies are those of Barbie dolls?"

Negi looked away, blushing. "W-well... If you prefer it so, I might modify the spell so we are more anatomically correct..."

"No, thanks," Chisame quickly replied. She looked all around herself; they seemed to be at some sort of distant and peaceful beach of white sands, and there were only two lonely human figures in the horizon. "I guess no one can see us here, right?"

"Right," Negi nodded.

Hasegawa pointed towards both figures. "Well, then let's go there. It's the only place where you can see anyone, so I think it has to be where Evangeline's memories must be happening."

"Brilliant deduction, Hasegawa-san!" the child brightened, running that way eagerly, with Satomi following him closely.

As she watched them, Chisame cringed. Featureless as their fronts were, their lower backsides still were fully detailed. And no doubt, her own would be, too.

For a moment, she could do nothing but looking at them despite her own reservations, kind of admitting to some unconscious degree Sensei's cute and flat kiddy bottom was actually mostly pretty to look at. As well as Satomi's perky and round, small and pale buttcheeks.

With a moan of shame, she covered her butt with both hands and reluctantly walked, very slowly, after them, hanging her head down and dragging her feet through the sand.

* * *

><p>Now they were close enough, the three of them could see a tall, busty, buxom and curvy woman with long golden hair wearing a slinky black dress, with long gloves and high heels. She was gorgeous, but her face sneered with nothing but malice and cruelty. Next to her, and only visible from a close distance, there stood a tiny doll with green hair, somewhat similar to a miniature version of Chachamaru, with a creepy glare on its shiny pupils, and a huge sharp knife in each hand.<p>

They faced a tall and mysterious stranger wearing a long gray robe, with a hood covering his face. Negi's heart, however, jumped at seeing the staff the man was holding.

It was his very own bandaged staff.

"Is that Evangeline's mother?" Hakase blinked.

"I think so," Chisame replied. "But why does that Muppet look like Chachamaru? I thought you had designed her."

"Hmmm. To be honest, Evangeline gave me a few basic outlines of her physical parameters," Satomi admitted. "She told me she wanted her servant to have green hair, for instance. Maybe she used to play with that doll when she was a child, so she wanted a reminder from those times."

"She played with a doll armed with knives?" Chisame seemed unconvinced, but paused right afterwards. "On the other hand, we're talking about Evangeline. I can buy it."

"Thousand Master," the temptress was saying, her voice husky and threatening, her mouth half open in a dangerous smile. "Finally, after so many months of pursuit, I have found you at this miserable island. An unusual choice of sorts for your final resting place, but it doesn't matter."

The blonde tightened a fist, "Tonight I will finally make you pay for your deceptions. Yes, I will crush you down like the insect you are! And your blood, body and soul shall belong to me!"

"You tell 'im, Master!" the doll cackled with a shrill, manic squeaky voice. "Blood, blood, blood, flowing all around! Grab me a boat, I'll sail away on it!"

"Evangeline, the Master of Puppets," the man said in a low, masculine and low voice that almost made both girls to swoon despite themselves. They quickly noticed it, asking themselves what had just happened. "The Apostle of Destruction, the Tide of Evil, the Undying Sorceress. How many men have you tempted with your bewitching beauty? How many lives have you corrupted with your power? And yet, you insist on coming after the only one who can stop you..."

"No way," Chisame recoiled. "Is that supposed to be Evangeline herself?"

"It would seem she has suffered some sort of age regression," Satomi attempted to analyze. "Highly puzzling!"

Negi was too starstruck to add any comments.

The man had pulled his hood off, revealing an absolutely handsome, strikingly perfect face, neither brutish nor effeminate, the optimal point of what an average (and most above and below the average) woman would wish for in a man. Chisame found herself open mouthed, her heart beating a few skips faster. Even the normally absent to love Hakase was staring with wide eyes, a soft pink gliding over her cheeks again.

"It's... It's him!" Negi cheered up emotionally. "My father!"

"I advise you to quit this insane quest," Nagi Springfield had spoken ominously. "No matter what you are planning to do, you will not succeed."

"It's just like I had imagined him!" Negi jumped up and down in place. "A brave hero with no fear, the mightiest mage of all! This is the happiest day of my life!"

Flashback-Eva laughed bitterly. "What are you going to do, a lone mage without a Partner, against both of us? HAH! CHACHAZERO! ON HIM!" she commanded while charging ahead.

"ON HIM, THROUGH HIM, ALL OVER HIS CHOPPED PARTS!" the doll crazily sing-sang following Evangeline at a speed that was rather surprising for something so small. "BLOOD AND GUTS, NO QUESTION, NO BUTS!"

However, The Hero did not seem bothered or concerned at all. He simply gave a step back, quietly examining the ground at his feet.

"You're too slow, Boya!" the vampiress grinned, reaching for him with a hand full of crimson fingernails. "Give yourself in at last! BE MINE!"

"DAD!" Negi attempted to run at them, just as Evangeline and the puppet closed in for the kill...

But right then, both of them fell into a huge sandtrap that had remained hidden at the ground until the woman set foot on it.

"Eh...?" Negi stopped in mid-step.

"GAHH!" Evangeline gasped for air, as she poked her head out of the sand. "What... What is the meaning of this?"

"It's a trap, Master!" the tiny homunculus struggled to drag herself out of the sand, her short arms proving to be quite unfitting for the task.

"I know that, you idiot!" the blonde shouted at her.

"Ah, ha ha ha ha!" Negi's father laughed from above. "If only they could see you now! What a joke! The terror of Mundus Vetus, reduced to a laughingstock in a hole! But let's spice this up, don't you think? Here, have a feast on my account!" With those words, he unloaded the content of a huge sack he had been keeping near to into the pit.

"What...?" Evangeline blinked several times, right before a storm of garlic and onions fell on her face and all over her body, nearly burying her under them. "NO! I hate those things! Stop it, you maniac!"

"Stop? Why should I?" he asked. "All children in mid-growth need this in their diets! Here, drink some soup as well!" He poured the contents of a huge cauldron he also had at hand at his makeshift camp into the hole, showering his attackers with a flood of smelly and hot garlic soup. "I was researching into your weaknesses, kid! And I don't like to study on anything, so you'd better believe I'm mad at you!"

Negi, Chisame and Hakase were all staring in stunned silence. Finally, the scientist asked, "Is this a standard procedure for a magical battle against the undead?"

"I... I don't know what to believe anymore..." their teacher meeped out weakly.

* * *

><p>"Hold on, Master!" the doll shrieked and shrilled flailing her arms around, splashing sand and soup everywhere around, only succeeding at burying herself even deeper into the muddy result. "I'll save you! And then we'll stab 'im in the face!"<p>

"Agh! I can't!" Evangeline gasped for air, her breath becoming erratic. "Stop! You fiend!"

But the mysterious man just laughed at them, agitating the liquid with his staff. Until his prey couldn't take it anymore, and with a yell, her body shrank down to a petite size, the one the three visitors recognized as that of their vampirical acquaintance.

"It IS Evangeline after all!" Chisame said.

"We might be on the trail of the secret for eternal youth here!" Satomi's glasses fogged up with excitement. "I would be lauded as the greatest benefactor to mankind ever if I isolated that!"

"No, Master!" Chachazero was all but crying. "You have ran out of magical power!"

"Hah, ha ha ha!" Nagi laughed from above. "What will everyone say when they learn the queen of all vampires is nothing but a skinny brat? Here, eat more!" he bombarded her down with even more onions.

"I told you to stop it, cretin!" the now childish Evangeline wailed, her face deeply red. "You... You are a cheating coward! Aren't you the Master of a Thousand Deadly Spells! You should use them in battle! Like any mage with honor would!"

He stopped his laughter, sneering down at her. "Me? I'll pass! To be honest, I barely memorized more than half a dozen spells...I never was big on studying!"

Negi's jaw hit the floor.

Chisame looked at her teacher. "You already learned far more than that, didn't you?"

Hakase patted him on a shoulder. "Congratulations. You have surpassed him this early in your life."

"THAT ISN'T WHAT I WANTED TO SEE!" Negi practically bawled.

"What?" Evangeline was gulping.

"I left the magic academy because I didn't like those boring geezers and their tests" Nagi yawned carelessly. "What? You shocked, kiddo?"

Evangeline pouted. "I don't understand you, Thousand Master! Why to escape the chances to learn more about magic? With your raw power, you could be the next Sorcerer Supreme! And with me at your side, it would be even easier! Why do you keep on running away from me? Together, we could rule over all we can set our sights on!"

"Meh. I don't like flat chested children," the handsome mage made a disgusted face.

"A child? You fool! I'm more than one hundred years old!" the vampiress screamed.

"A flat chested old mummy! Even worse!" the man seemed about to vomit.

"DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT ON MY FACE!" Mc Dowell howled.

"Keep a grip on yourself, Master!" Chachazero begged.

"Okay, enough of games," Nagi grew serious. "I'll let you go only if you promise to leave me alone and stop attacking innocents."

"NEVER!" Evangeline cringed her fangs defiantly.

"Oh, is that so?" the Thousand Master chuckled creepily. "Welllll, then I have no choice. I'll have to subject you to one of the most hideous spells ever created..."

"What?" Eva blinked, feeling a gigantic amount of energy flowing around the man. "What do you intend to—"

He had pulled a spell book out of somewhere and lazily read through it, "Ummm... Where was it... I think the old fool at Mahora needed a guardian or something... It should be around here... Ah, yes. Here. _Man Man Terro Terro_..."

If she had been asked later, Chisame couldn't have honestly said what the hell was said afterward since she didn't know a single word of Latin, but judging from Negi and Hakase's expressions, it had to be something horrible and very fearsome, enough to make even the Mc Dowell girl to waver in terror.

"It's the end, Master!" Chachazero was screaming.

"No, it can't be!" Evangeline still attempted to get away. "You are worse than a demon, Thousand Master! Mark my words! You will regret this day! You will—"

_**"INFERNUS SCHOLASTICUS!"**_ he shouted, aiming his staff at her, blasting the Nosferatu with a flood of crackling and sparkling arcane energies, making her to yell and convulse frantically.

**"NOOOOOOOO—"**

* * *

><p>"—OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Evangeline woke up sitting up with a start, panting madly, her eyes going from closed to fully open in an almost grotesque fashion in half a second. It was only after her scream died down she noticed she was at her own bedroom, on her bed, with Hasegawa and Hakase looking tired and sitting near her. "What? W-What are you two doing here?"<p>

"Um, we were... not doing anything, actually. Just killing time until Chachamaru comes back," Chisame groaned, staring aside, determined to not saying anything about their recent trip.

"She went out to buy medication for you," Satomi informed. "It shouldn't take her long to come back."

"I feel fine now," Mc Dowell mumbled, before pointing down at the exhausted looking boy sleeping with his chin resting on her lap. "Take this thing off me, right at this instant."

"Huh?" Negi blinked, coming back to himself. "Eh? Oh, oh, s-sorry, Evangeline-san!" He quickly straightened up. "I guess I was too tired from the classes, and—"

The blonde waved a hand at him. "I don't care. I had some fever and a bad dream, that's all. I don't need your pity or care. But... you three showed some courage coming here, so... I will not dispose of you today," she huffed. "You'd better walk away with your lives while you can."

"You have a strange way to say 'thanks', but I'll accept it," Satomi stood up and bowed. "We will see you later."

"You can bet you will," Eva nodded slowly, but not really angry for now.

Chisame nodded as well, mechanically, starting to follow Negi and Satomi outside.

But then, the cottage's owner noticed the leftover energies around herself. She recognized the remains of the spell's pattern. And her voice grew deep and threatening again. "You tadpole..."

"Huh...?" Negi stopped abruptly, sweating very, very cold.

Eva stood up on the bed, her hair beginning to stand up around herself. "You little upstarts... What have YOU been doing to meeee...?"

Chachamaru was walking back through the peaceful woods with several full bags in her hands when she heard the screams coming from the cottage.

"I'LL SKIN YOU ALL ALIVE! I'LL HANG YOUR HEADS OVER MY CHIMNEY!"

"IT WASN'T MY IDEA! HAKASE IS THE ONE TO BLAME!"

"EVANGELINE, PLEASE LOWER THAT THING DOWN OR I'LL CONTACT THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES!"

"EVANGELINE-SAN, PLEASE, RECONSIDER! THESE ARE YOUR CLASSMATES!"

The robot mused to herself with a calmed, softly pleased voice. "Ah. Like I thought. They could make her to feel better..."

For a brief moment, she almost looked like she was smiling.

* * *

><p><strong>To Be Continued<strong>.


	4. The Light at the End of the Tunnel

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors.

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to Shadow Crystal Mage (who did proofread most of this chapter) and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>The Light at the End of the Tunnel.<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Feverofsk District, Russia:<em>

The icy cold winds blew savagely as the helicopter flew over the snowy hills. A massive, state of the art, last-gen piece of recognition, search and destruction military technology, the chopper made no attempt to fly discreetly, in hot pursuit of a desperate armored van careening across the mountainsides.

Sitting on the passenger's seat of the fleeing vehicle, a young woman with long light reddish hair sobbed and chewed on her left thumb, drawing blood out of it.

"Stop doing that!" the man driving the vehicle barked at her.

"Let me at least do this... or else, just kill me already...!" she lamented, never stopping biting and chewing, a prey of complete anxiety. "Let... me..."

"I told you, cut it out!" the man reached over to her with the hand not at the steering wheel.

And then she sank her teeth on the back of his hand.

The man growled roughly, but made no attempts to retaliate as he pulled his hand back. "Damn it. What have they done to you..."

But it didn't matter. Not anymore, at least. They could see the frontier pass just ahead of them, visible even in the middle of the storm blizzard. It only would take them five minutes or so before...

One of the missiles suddenly shot at them by the helicopter hit and rocked the car, sending it sliding off road, crashing against a snow bank.

The next thing the young woman knew was she was tossed on the snow, shuddering in her light pale dress, and lying just a few steps away from the dead driver, who bled all over the white, half of his body peeking out a window. The van was on its side, and the lights of the helicopter were on her, hurting her eyes. Just like those in the laboratory, during the tests.

The pilot of the helicopter grinned to himself, taking aim at the small, trembling target who was just coming to her feet, wounded and corralled. It would only take a single barrage of shots. Easiest kill he ever had in his-

Then something, coming to him from a side, broke through the cabin's window, shattering the bullet proof glass before embedding itself into a side of his head.

The young woman watched on, muted and rattled, how the flying machined spiralled down, out of control, in the opposite direction to hers, before crashing down between some pines, and exploding into a maelstrom of beautiful orange flames.

That was before a gigantic bipedal machine, more than four times her size, lurched out of the woods, walking right over her without even grazing her, its titanic feet so close she could have touched them if she only had reached for them. Which she didn't. She didn't react at all, actually. She only watched how the machine inspected the flaming debris of the helicopter for a few moments, keeping a gun fitting its own size between its hands, before turning back to her, with an almost human fluidity to its motions.

_"Arm... Slave..."_ she whispered.

The metal giant knelt down before her, and with a hiss of vapor, the cockpit in the collosus' head opened itself, revealing a human figure in black. The figure jumped down more than climbed down to her level, walking towards her, with a cold, emotionless expression on his young, yet dry face.

"What are you going to do with me?" she asked, tired, almost as emotionless as him.

"We'll take you home," he said, gentle despite everything, softly placing an injector against a side of her neck and shooting her a dose of tranquilizants. He easily caught her in his arms as she fell, limp, a second later.

"What's your name?" she asked, barely comprehensible at all, before succumbing to sleep. "Please tell me..."

But the young man with the inexpressive brown eyes did not answer until she was fully unconscious.

"Sagara. Sagara Sousuke."

* * *

><p><em>Days later, somewhere under the Sea of China<em>.

The old gentleman in the olive green uniform had his gray hair longer than one would have expected from one of his rank and age, but the submarine's crew was hardly the most conventional military force in the world. That was part of what made them so special. And dangerously unpredictable. Pretty much all of them had their unique, unconventional quirks, and the three younger members standing before him were living proof of that.

"Tokiwa Kyoko," Sagara read flatly from the tablet the Major had just handed him, showing a picture of a tiny girl with braided light brown hair, in her Elementary school uniform and holding a bag of books against her chest.

In a much more vivacious, even creepily so, tone, the slightly older blond man standing at his left leered, rubbing his scruffy chin with the shadow of two days' worth of unshaven beard. "Hoo! She'll sure be a looker someday..."

"Actually, that picture was taken more than four years ago," the Major said, from behind his desk, which despite everything was quite smaller than Konoemon Konoe's. "She is about to hit her sixteen years of age."

"Shouldn't we keep more up-to-date pictures?" observed the roughly beautiful woman of short black hair at Sagara's other side.

"Yeah, where's the 'Now' photo?" asked the blond man. "Don't tell me she grew up into some sort of teenage mutant cow..."

Sensibly ignoring him, the Major continued, ever the stoic, "Now we have neutralized the threat to the fifth subject, it's quite likely Kissin or Von Faust will attempt eliminating or controlling her next. Currently, she is residing at the Academy City of Area Eleven, in the Mahora District. Mahora is a heavily fortified sector, but it also is too complex and unpredictable for the subject's long term safety. The three of you will be sent to personally stand guard over her until further notice."

"Only the three of us?!" the blond man whistled. "That's hardly standard procedure!"

"It's a hardly standard operation, for hardly standard grounds," the old man conceded. "That's why you three, my least standard men, were selected for the mission."

The woman spoke next. "Sir! Permission to deploy Class B Equipment!"

"Granted," the Major replied, faster than she had expected. "Sergeant Mao, you will be at charge of the mission's in situ command, and the integrity of the M9 Unit and all its weaponry. You also will be charged with two external condensation units, and you know what does that mean. We expect nothing but the utmost discretion from you. Mahora is... shaky ground, to say the least."

"Understood," Sagara said, grim and sparsely.

"Today at 13:30, you will be handed your documents and files for the cover operation. I know those are not your strong suit, Sagara, so make sure to obey to every command from Sergeant Mao, and none from Sergeant Weber."

"Hey..." the blond man grumbled, deeply hurt.

"Sir, on the subject of Sousuke's status, surely you aren't thinking of..." Melissa Mao left the sentence intently open.

The old man nodded. "Of course I am. Which other kind of cover story could he have? In his case, consider his deployment... an academic transferal."

* * *

><p>"Question: What is this?" asked Sousuke, eyeing the wide variety of discs, trendy clothes, colorful posters, wrapped foods, cans of energetic drinks, manga, and above everything adult magazines on display on his bed.<p>

Kurz Weber shrugged. "Well, you're the one who'll have to blend in with the kids, so I thought I'd help you by giving you a good sample of what Japanese kids nowadays do like..."

Sousuke dryly eyed the random junk all over his mattress. "Other than the drinks, I see no clear usefulness for the whole lot of this. Question: Why would they like it?"

"Well, shocking as it may sound, there are some of us who do like things that aren't necessarily must haves in the line of duty. You know, for those times when we are out of the battlefield. Which, for most people, amount to... pretty much their whole lives," the blond man explained.

Sousuke raised an eyebrow. "So I have heard," he simply said.

"Honestly!" Mao sighed, cocking a fist on her hip and waving a Playboy mag in her other hand. "Kurz, why would you give these to the boy?"

"Since when are you of all people a moral crusader?" Kurz growled.

"Shit, I don't mean that!" she said. "Kids these days resort to the Internet for this! Now, nudie mags are only for old perverts! What kind of weak profile are you creating for him?"

"Question: What is this?" asked Sousuke, holding a package of condoms.

"Contraceptives," Mao bluntly told him.

"What are they used for?" he asked this time.

"They are intended for security," Mao said.

"They don't look adequately protective..." the boy said, opening one of the small packages and staring at the little thing that looked like a deflated balloon. "For starters, they are too small to properly cover any major area of my body, and the material they are made of appears to be excessively-"

"They are supposed to protect your dick," Kurz cut in.

"Question: Wouldn't a crotch piece be far more conductive for that purpose?"

"Actually, it's more like they are used to protect the girls' crotches from your dick," Kurz explained.

"Question: Why would I attack female crotches with my dick? Is that a custom in the Area Eleven? And if I am ever going to attack them, why would I bring protection for them, instead of myself?"

Kurz tossed his hands up. "Goddammit! It's a protection for both, okay!"

"Even so, wouldn't it make more sense to bring a protection exclusively for myself, instead of one protecting them as well? I fail to see the purpose of protecting female agents against our own offensives."

Kurz began whacking his own head against the nearest wall.

"First of all, Sousuke," Mao waved a finger, "When you are there, never call them 'Elevens'. They just hate that. Call them Japanese, and call their nation Japan. Doubly so in your case, since you ARE Eleven..."

"... Japanese," Sousuke corrected.

Mao nodded. "Quick boy. Anyway, since you are Japanese, even if you werem't raised there, if you refer to yourself as an 'Eleven', you'll be socially branded a sellout, and that only will be a major obstacle for the assignment. As for your question, you are NOT to poke or attack female crotches with your dick, at least until you and the girl are both eighteen, and you buy her dinner first."

Sousuke nodded. "I think I understand. Their customs are strange, but I'll adapt."

Kurz took a moment off to facepalm.

* * *

><p>It had been three days since then.<p>

"You can go ahead, Hasegawa-san," Negi had said happily after classes were over. "I'll stay for a little longer reviewing these assignments."

"Are you sure?" she asked. Hakase and Chachamaru were gone by now. "Hmph, fine. Just remember to be at home before nightfall. I still don't trust Evangeline."

"Oh, come on," he laughed her concern off gently. "She's cleaned up her act now. She's even returned to classes since then, and there haven't been any more reports of attacks, right?"

"Still not trusting," she insisted, then shrugged her shoulders. "If not for her, then be there early because I'll kick your butt if you don't, do you understand?"

He pouted. "That's no way to talk to your teacher…"

"No, but it's a way to talk to an unruly child. Bye." The girl walked out of the classroom without looking back. "I'll buy something for our dinner at Chao's on my way home, if you really need a good incentive," she calmly sweetened the deal before turning around a corner of the hall and disappearing from sight. Negi noticed the fast pace of her steps; no doubt she wanted to get home quickly and do a Chiu session before Chamo returned from his panty raid of the day.

Once alone, the boy drew in a deep breath. He rolled his sleeves up, grabbed his staff from the corner he kept it at, and walked with it to the middle of the empty class.

Well, mostly empty.

With an eager and nervous look on her face, Aisaka Sayo floated to meet him there, twiddling her vaporous fingers together. "D-Do you really think it will work?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"I'm almost positive," he replied with a comforting nod of his head. "I researched on some of the tomes I brought from Merdiana Academy, and even consulted Chamo on it."

"Who's Chamo?" Sayo asked.

""Hum… a friend of mine," Negi chuckled."He's a bit… eccentric, but a great fellow deep down. Anyway, I've been working on this spell for a few days now, and I think I should have it mastered now. We only need to test it for real."

"I don't know," the ghost whimpered. "I-I don't want to doubt you, but if it hasn't been tested yet, couldn't it h-harm me?"

"Relax, please," he asked her soothingly. "It's okay. Only offensive Astral Magic spells can hurt spirits. Even the exorcisms, and this has nothing to do with them, only can transport them away. And even if this comes out wrong, you will receive no harm at all. I guarantee it."

She smiled and nodded, eased by his promise. "Ahhh, that's a relief! Then let's do it, please!"

"Why, the chance of you suddenly being dragged down screaming into hell is practically non-existent!"

_Aaaand_ there went the relief.

Negi just smiled obliviously. "Okay!" he grinned happily, then placed his staff over her head. _"Rastel Maskir Magister. Teru Ma Amorista. Gate of the Spirit World, loosen your grip over this soul. Allow her presence to show itself to the eyes of the Magi. I ask thee in this hour, further her advance amidst the living! Walker of the Light, out of the Darkness!"_

Then Sayo felt herself filled by a radiant and warm light that made her 'heart' to soar. She felt a new degree of solidity to herself; while far from that of a physical shape, she even could see the colors as brighter now, and she sensed some added sense of weight into her person.

"Waaaiiii! I think it has worked, Sensei!" she chirped with glee.

"I'm glad!" he smiled. Then he informed her, "With this, mundanes still won't be able to see you, but mages, and those who derive magical power from sorcerers, like Ministra Magi, will see and hear you, not only Kasuga-san and me. You are going to make a lot of new friends!" he said. At least Evangeline-san and Chao-san, he thought. With any luck, she could bring Eva further out of her shell.

"Yayyy!" Sayo cheered. "But, oh, wait. Won't this bring us problems? Do you think your fellow teachers will agree?"

Negi froze on the spot immediately. He KNEW he had been forgetting some detail.

"W-Well…" he started to sweat."I guess it'll be okay if you keep yourself out of their sight. It's not like the magically aware ones are going to enter without any warning at any given—"

At that moment the classroom's room was slammed open without warning, heralding the magically aware Itoshiki Nozomu's rushed entrance, scaring Negi nearly to death. "NEGI-SENSEI!" the tall thin man yelled. "I BRING HIDEOUS, DESPAIRING NEWS! HASEGAWA-SAN TOLD ME YOU'D BE HERE—"

"I-I-Itoshiki-sensei!" Negi quickly spun around, attempting to shield Sayo with his back, just as the spectre cowered behind him. "M-May I help you with something?"

The older teacher stopped, looking at the ghostly figure badly attempting to hide behind a child much shorter than her. "As a matter of fact, yes," the suicidal dark mage said in a flatly awkward tone. "You could begin by telling me, is that a ghost you are hiding from me?"

"Hm… no," the boy shook his head vehemently.

"Because I am seeing it now," Nozomu insisted.

"Wh-Where?" Negi stammered.

"Attempting to crouch down behind your back, which I think might work better if she had any actual legs," Itoshiki said.

"Um, she's just… shy. And an albino. That explains her pale skin and lack of color of hair, see?" the child lamely stated.

"She has no legs," Itoshiki repeated itself.

"A tragic accident…" Negi whined pitifully.

"…" Mr. Despair stared blankly at them.

"…" his much younger colleague averted the stare as best as he could.

"I don't doubt this has been a tragic accident, indeed," the man finally stated, his voice unchanged.

Negi felt himself as dead as Sayo then.

* * *

><p>"P-p-P-p-Please don't exorcise me! And don't turn Negi-sensei into an ermine, either!" Sayo bursted out into ectoplasmic tears. "Have mercy, creepy man-san!"<p>

"Wh-What-san?" Nozomu babbled.

"I'll go away and never come back if you want so!" the ghost wailed. "But don't punish Negi-sensei! He and Kasuga-san are the only two people who have ever tried to help me! Oh, no! Now I have involved her as well! Forget I said that! To be honest, I wasn't talking about Kasuga Misora! It was another Misora! No, I mean another Kasuga! Who doesn't study here!"

"Please forgive her, Sir!" Negi stepped in. "Her name's Aisaka Sayo, and she has been invisible to everyone in this Academy for the last sixty years! I… I just tried to give her some happiness! I beg you, don't hold that against us!"

Itoshiki sighed. "We all would fall into serious disgrace if this becomes public knowledge, so I won't divulge it," he relented. "But do try to keep her away from all our colleagues, will you? Regardless, Aisaka-san…"

"Y-Yes?" the spirit sniffed her tears back.

"I intend to join the afterlife in the near future," he calmly informed. "How is it, from your experience? It cannot be any worse than the tortures of the living world, but exactly how less distasteful is it?"

"… I have only wandered through this campus for all this time," Sayo finally replied, meekly. "I haven't ever seen anything like Heaven or Hell…" she shuddered visibly, "… nor any other ghosts, angels or demons. So I suppose it is… mostly like your life?"

The man slummed his head down. "I should have expected it! These cursed grounds are like a trap, binding us to them! For the likes of me, there is no escape, no relief, in any world at either side of the mortalcoil! DESPAIR!" he yelled. "The idea of being chained to this school for all eternity after my demise fills me with DESPAIR!"

He lifted his head back up. "Ah, yes, Negi-sensei. Arai-sensei, the psychological counselor, wishes to talk with both of us."

"Really? Why?" the child teacher asked.

"Because we have a serious problem student at Class 2-F," the beautiful, elegant Arai Chie, a shapely woman in her late twenties, with short black hair and perfectly manicured fingernails, looked at her notepad minutes after that, sitting cross-legged at her office before Negi, Nozomu and Sayo. The ghost girl still was invisible to the supernaturally untrained eyes of the psychotherapist. "Her name is Komori Kiri, and she has refused to attend classes ever since the new term started, two weeks ago. She already gave serious signs of reclusive tendencies last year, but never to this degree. I attempted to talk with her this Monday, but I couldn't reach to her; she is stubborn and unwilling to cooperate. However, since you apparently have managed some level of success on helping Hakase-san and Hasegawa-san to socialize more with others, I thought of asking for your help with this situation, Negi-sensei. Would you be willing to do it?"

"Naturally!" Negi nodded bravely. He had yet to learn you NEVER volunteer for anything. Sucker.

"That's a relief to hear," Chie smiled. "Itoshiki-sensei will show you the way to her rooms."

"I already have enough with my own distressing problems, sorry," Nozomu politely refused while installing a hangman's noose on the roof of the office, with his back now turned on them. HE had certainly learned never to volunteer for anything you could get out of. "I can't possibly be of any help. And besides, even if I would survive this, I have a bath at a private alligator pit and an early dinner with strychnine and arsenic lined up for this afternoon."

Then Arai-sensei sneaked around to look at his face, giving him an up close and personal piercing glare.

It made even Negi's skin to crawl all over. Despite its lack of anything supernatural about it, and even though the rest of her face being completely unchanging, not even scowling at all, that glare was one of the most fearsome things he ever had seen.

_Somewhere on Mundus Magicus, a butter-yellow hottie with pink hair and supermodel looks sneezed. _

Poor Itoshiki didn't have a chance.

"O-Of course, I could take a couple of hours out of my suicide agenda…" he babbled nervously.

Chie-sensei smiled sweetly anew. "It pleases me to hear that."

_Somewhere in the ocean, a random great white shark sneezed. _

"There are a million things far worse than death, Negi-sensei" the grownup explained minutes afterward, as the two of them and Sayo reached the doors of Komori's place. "Arai-sensei holds the keys to most of them."

"Scary…" the ghost trembled.

* * *

><p>They were greeted by Komori's roommate, a teenager with a modestly thin build and very short black hair named Tsunetsuki Matoi. For some reason or another, she was wearing a boy's school uniform, and her voice was uneven and agitated, as that of an addict in withdrawal.<p>

"Kiri-chan never leaves, no matter what" she explained, pointing at their bedroom's door. "She hates sunlight, but mostly open spaces. I can't be expected to drag her to school. No time for that. I have a relationship to keep with my boyfriend. If I don't spend all of my time with him, he'll leave me!" she ranted paranoidly. "I leave this in your hands. I must go to see him. I'll ask him out on a date. Yes. Yes. That. Good luck!" She quickly bolted away out the front door.

Negi just kept on staring in the direction she had taken, his eyes tiny black dots. "What… What is wro— happening with her?" he asked.

"Tsunetsuki-san is a chronic stalker," Itoshiki answered. "She changes boyfriends often; once she has found a new romantic obsession, she latches onto the unfortunate young man's life and starts copying his habits, his hobbies, his customs and his clothing style. Plus, she follows them around at all hours and places."

"What?" Negi gasped.

"Yes, my class is sadly full of such misfits and maniacs!" Nozomu lamented loudly. "Oddballs, weirdoes, nut jobs, loonies, screwballs, flurries, Survivor watchers, Narutards—"

"Twilight fans?"

"No, even they have some dignity to not sink that low. Still, they are my shame, although fitting for someone as low as me! And yet, what wouldn't I give for a normal class like yours, Negi-sensei!" he confided in another annoying outburst.

"We… We are normal?" Sayo blinked blankly, pointing an index finger at her own chest. "… Us?"

* * *

><p>Both teachers stood before the thick door to the girls' dorm room, with Sayo floating right behind them. They all remained still and silent for a few moments until Negi gathered the courage to step forward and gently knock on the door.<p>

"Komori-san?"

No one gave him any reply.

"Komori Kiri-san?" he tentatively repeated.

"GO AWAY!" a female voice shouted angrily from inside.

Finally, Itoshiki sighed and bothered to speak. "Komori-san, we are your teachers. We have been commissioned to see you attend your lessons!"

"Leave me alone!" the voice yelled back.

"Ugugugu…" Sayo shrank back, putting her hands together over her own chest. "She sounds so scary, she must be a horrible person…"

"Please, Komori-san" Negi attempted to negotiate. "It's only for your own good. At least tell us why you don't want to—"

"That school is not a safe place! It's… It's… It's full of people!" the unseen girl screamed.

All three of them blinked.

"I don't get your point," Negi flatly admitted.

"I hate people! Especially weird people like you all! I heard from Matoi you were a child teaching classes and a suicidal madman! And I've seen even worse people out there! Even the Principal looks like an alien!"

Negi's eyes widened. "Konoemon-sensei?"

"Well, his head IS somewhat strangely shaped," Itoshiki conceded. "I'd kill myself if I had one like that."

"And he dresses like he's from China two centuries ago," Komori's voice agreed.

"And he smells sort of funny as well," Nozomu nodded.

"His voice is weird, too," Komori added.

"And the way he looks at Shizuna-sensei when he thinks no one else is looking…" Nozomu made a disgusted face.

"Sensei, aren't you just adding more fuel to her fire?" Sayo wondered.

"Regardless, Komori-san, even if they all are strange, annoying, rude, crass, bothersome, despairing, irritating, abnormal, unbearable and unsympathetic, they are still your classmates and teachers!" the adult went on. "Step out of that room immediately, please!"

"NO!" she stubbornly insisted. "I'll never leave with so many freaks outside!"

Nozomu shook his head. "She makes Hasegawa-san to look positively well-adjusted."

"No joking," Negi marveled. "What will we do now?"

"I don't know. We can't just break in; they'd take the repairs for the door out of our pay. But at the same time, we will be the object of scorn and disapproval if we fail at such a basic mission. The other teachers will laugh at us. Then again, I am used to it…" Itoshiki mused.

"It'd help if we knew exactly what the exact conditions are in there." Negi attempted to think of a solution. "But how…"

"I-I'll go in," Sayo offered herself.

The boy looked at her. "Are you sure, Aisaka-san?"

"Y-Yes!" she nodded. "I must pay you back for helping me to meet Kasuga-san and Itoshiki-sensei! I can go in even if you can't!"

Nozomu nodded. "She's right. And besides, she will not be seen or heard, so she will not disturb our troublesome student!" he whispered.

Negi nodded back, then smiled at his student. "Okay, Aisaka-san! Thank you very much!"

Sayo smiled with awkward enthusiasm. "I'll do my best for you!"

"I'm sure you will," the child mage said confidently.

As both teachers watched her passing through the door and into the bedroom, Itoshiki seemed to have an idea. He looked down at Negi and said, "I also believe I might find more clues about Komori-san's condition if I look through the rest of the rooms. You stay here and watch over the door in case she decides to come out."

"Okay," the boy agreed, not suspecting anything.

Satisfied at the result of his words, Nozomu headed for the kitchen, and once he was out of Negi's sight, he began looking into the cabinet of knives. With a quiet morbid fascination, his gaze fell upon them, carefully measuring each one with a clinic eye.

"It must be as painless as possible, yet also sharp enough to do it decisively quick…" he told himself. "However, I must leave as little of a stain on their floor as I can. Oh, decisions, decisions… Maybe the saw-edged one? No, far too messy…"

Meanwhile, Sayo floated through the darkened room, gulping and cringing in the deadly silence of the warm (perhaps too warm) place. It was eerily quiet, except for the corner from where she could hear a few tiny sobs.

There it was, with its back turned to her, a slim figure wrapped in a huge and thick red blanket, with long jet black hair covering its features. A pair of pale bare feet peeked out from under the blanket. The person was sitting there, surrounded by a few magazines, a portable TV, an electric too rush with charger, some empty bottles of soda and a mess of discarded clothes and crinkled tissues with strange stains on them. There was a strange musk in the air.

Sayo's ghostly teeth clattered, as she drank in the creepy appearance of the room's inhabitant. She was about to turn tail and run out when she was paralyzed by panic at seeing the hermit lifting her head up in alarm, staring in her direction with haunted eyes.

"Who's there?" Komori Kiri asked in a choked, shocked voice which quickly became a shrill shriek.

The most hideous thing in the world had just appeared at the middle of her bedroom; a shapeless shadow with a long white mane, and deep red eyes like those of a demon. "THE D-DEVIL!" she was terrified.

"YOU ARE?" Sayo, in her own terror, mistook it for an introduction. "N-N-N-NEGI-SENSEI! SAVE ME!" she broke out into wailing tears again.

"A BANSHEE SCREAM!" Komori rushed to cover her own ears with her hands. "IT'S THE SIGN OF DEATH!"

"SHE HAS JUST THREATENED ME WITH DEATH! NEGI-SENSEIIIII!"

"Hold on, Aisaka-san!" Negi shouted from outside, readying his staff to blow the door down. He had no idea of what was happening in there, but no time to ponder it, either. However, before he could conjure a spell, the door slammed open from inside and smashed him against a wall. "Uguuuuu!"

"IDONTWANTTODIEIDONTWANTTODIE!" Komori ran out of the room as quick as her legs could carry her.

As a groggy Negi slumped down to the floor, Sayo tackled him in a hug and buried her tearful face into his chest. "It was the scariest thing I've ever seen…!" she bawled. "Help me, Sensei…!"

"Si St Er..?" he gurgled. "i Do N'tt Thh I Nk i Wan TO go TO skOOl twODay…"

* * *

><p>Itoshiki was so absorbed into the comparison and analysis of the sharp instruments of death and cooking arrayed before him, he didn't even actually register the screams of panic and anguish coming from the other rooms.<p>

Neither did he really notice when Komori Kiri ran into the kitchen looking for any hideout that wouldn't demand her to actually leave the house.

"Help me! Help me!" she screamed as she ran straight towards… and into… him, to tackle him with a frantic hug from behind, toppling him over the knives' cabinet. "Save me from the hordes of Hell!"

Nozomu gasped as he lost balance, falling face-first into a veritable collection of large and small knives, the kind of collection only a devoted obsessive stalker would amass. For a moment he just laid there, motionless, surrounded by sharp edges, with a sobbing girl clinging to his back.

Then, miraculously spared for some reason from being stabbed by a knife, he sprang back to his feet, turned around to face the young woman, and shouted at her, "WHAT IF I HAD DIED?"

"KYA!" Komori backed away quickly, crouching down in a corner like a corralled animal. She turned her face away and began to cry, nearly hysterical. "Why… Why do these things happen to me? I… I wasn't doing anything bad! All I wanted was to be left alone… in peace…"

Negi and Sayo had entered the kitchen, and mutely, they watched how Itoshiki's expression soften while looking at the girl who suffered at their feet.

"Out there, there are so many weird and fearsome things… Things no one else can see, and they told me I'm crazy…" Kiri continued sobbing pitifully. "It drives me mad, I can't cope with it… Why can't I stay here where I'm safe? What do I do to anyone with it…?"

"I understand," the adult teacher knelt down next to her. "It drives all of us insane. It's a harsh, cruel world. It is the way it is, and it won't change. But we must either live with it or die. No middle ground."

He reached with his hands for the extremely long bangs of black hair covering her face. She attempted to resist, but before she could do anything, he already had moved her hair aside.

She looked at the three of them with huge tearful eyes, while a red coloring ran over her pale cheeks as her gaze met that of her Sensei.

"You're beautiful," Itoshiki said softly. "With such fair skin, as white as the purest snow."

He took his hands away, leaving her wordless. Negi simply stared without understanding. Sayo cooed to herself, swooning gleefully.

Komori stammered for a few moments without managing the words out, but then Nozomu calmly told her, "If you ever want to die, please tell me first."

Taking it as a sign of him valuing her life and promising to be there for her, the girl, the boy teacher and the spirit were all deeply moved.

"Ah…" Kiri sighed.

"Itoshiki-sensei…" Negi had stars in his eyes. "You are an inspiration to me…"

"I had misjudged you before…!" Sayo ran a sleeve over her own face, wiping her newfound tears off.

All the while, the adult ignored them, pulling a notebook out and adding Miss Komori to a short list of likely future suicide partners he had made.

* * *

><p>The next day, Negi was finishing his classes with another study group, and he was walking back to 2-A to rejoin Chisame when he saw a miserable looking Itoshiki standing at the doors of 2-F.<p>

"Itoshiki-sensei?" the child stopped in front of him. "What's wrong?"

"It's… Komori-san," Mr. Despair sighed heavily.

"She still hasn't shown up for classes, has she?" Negi asked with some pity.

"No, it isn't that!" the older teacher lamented. "She was here before anyone else this morning! I also got to learn what caused her problem in the first place! Apparently she has some sort of natural hyper-sensitivity to magical energies, which makes her to feel all the magical powers floating around Mahora, confusing and scaring her!"

"Ah, that explains why she could see Aisaka-san," Negi seemed satisfied at the explanation. After Eva and Chao had given no signs of seeing the ghost that morning, even though he suspected they were faking ignorance, he was starting to doubt the effects of his spell. "But then why are you so sad? I don't get it…"

Itoshiki opened the classroom's door for him. "Behold it by the means of your own eyes!"

Negi looked inside to see the empty classroom, only it was not exactly empty. Kiri and Sayo sat at the back of the room around a small kotatsu table, surrounded by several stacks of magazines, a portable TV, a cheap laptop, a radio, and a few boxes full with Komori's belongings. Two electric toothbrushes were plugged into the wall socket, one beat up and covered with strange stains, the other nice and new.

Kiri was pouring two cups from a small teapot. "More tea, Sayo-chan?" she quietly asked.

The ghost smiled happily. "Yes, please!"

Komori smiled back, handing her one of the cups. "Enjoy it."

"I will! Thanks!" Sayo daintily held the cup and drank from it, the liquid falling right through her and spilling all across the floor. "Ahhh! It was delicious!"

"Instead of refusing to leave her room, she refuses to leave the classroom now!" Itoshiki slumped his head down.

"_Omni Initium Est Difficile_, I guess." A large drop of sweat had appeared on top of Negi's head.

* * *

><p>That late afternoon, to celebrate the success of Komori-san's reintegration to the education system, Itoshiki took Negi on his first 'men only' dinner out. Meaning they were now eating warm noodles at a cheap street stand. It was so cheap, they and the profusely smoking ramen man were the only ones there, as a matter of fact.<p>

"Is there something the problem, Negi-sensei?" the older teacher asked passively at a given moment.

Negi blinked, barely now realizing how unenthused he must have looked until that point. He blushed. "Um… No, of course not! This… These noodles have quite the taste," he said, taking care to not mention it was not a GOOD taste. "It's just I was thinking, and wondering, hm…" For a moment, he struggled to think of a good, believable excuse, which didn't come easily to him at all, since he was not used to lying in the slightest. Then, however, an opportunity to change the subject presented itself. "Isn't that Tsunetsuki-san over there?"

"Who?" Nozomu asked back, looking in the direction Negi was pointing at.

Itoshiki fell silent, catching a good view of the easily recognizable head of the young woman with short black hair who had greeted them into her and Komori-san's living quarters. She sat in the back of a police patrol car, which waited for a green light at the intersection of two nearby streets before continuing on its way towards 'Policetown', the massive mundane law enforcement center of Academy City.

"… oh, yes, that's her," Nozomu answered blandly, setting his chopsticks down.

"Kids nowadays, huh," the ramen stand guy snorted, puffing three rings of smoke. "Deviants an' delinquents all, now!"

Negi gave the large, greasy man with hairy arms an annoyed glare, but the English gentleman in him insisted on remaining the better man. Instead, he chose asking Itoshiki, "Sensei? Shouldn't we try calling the police? Something very serious must have happened to her! No doubt she needs us!"

The other teacher sighed and pushed his glasses up his nose. "Negi-sensei, Tsunetsuki-san needs far more help than anything we can provide."

Negi blinked. "Huh?"

"And that's why they're a lost generation," the unkempt man growled, scratching himself under an armpit. "We gave up on 'em, so of course they went an' took the wrong path in life, the poor saps. Parents an' teachers haven't been worth a crap for decades. It's like my ex tells me when she bugs me f'r the alimony thing f'r the brats…"

Itoshiki looked down at his bowl. "Oh dear. Is this a dead spider at the bottom?"

* * *

><p><em>Come the next afternoon, in Itoshiki's office…<em>

"A stalker," Negi spoke the term in such a way that it made clear it had never grazed his lips before. He was familiar, of course, with the concept of an animal or a human hunter stalking their prey, but so far, the idea of humans, cute Eleven schoolgirls at that, stalking other human beings was very alien to him. Even after the recent explanation Itoshiki had given on Tsunetsuki's behavior when he first met her. One which Arai Chie was repeating and expanding upon now.

Arai-sensei, who stood next to the chair currently taken by a crestfallen Tsunetsuki-san, nodded. "She pursues her ex-boyfriends obsessively, makes copies of their house keys, and then breaks into their houses. Now that's gotten her in trouble with the police itself, and since you two just did such a sterling job with Komori-san, the Headmaster thought you might be able to help her too…"

"I wouldn't call what we did a sterling job, myself," Itoshiki pointed out.

Chie smiled. "Always so humble, Itoshiki-sensei."

"No, I'm serious!" he argued. "We only traded her problem for another, and just look at us! We both have enough problems of our own! He's a traumatized child, and me… you know my case better than anyone else!"

"But I'm not traumatized!" the poor traumatized boy said.

"Yes…" Tsunetsuki spoke slowly then, "… it'd be useless either way. I'm hopeless like that. Once I fall in love with someone, I just can't let them go! My mind becomes fixated on them! I can't live without them… I have to call them every five minutes to see if they're okay, or if they're with someone else. Sending them e-mails is okay too, I guess…"

"Okay, that definitely isn't healthy," said Negi, Master of Magic and the Obvious.

Matoi began chewing her finger nails. "Right now, I'm burning with the urge to see Taisuke-kun, to hear his voice! But he won't let me in anymore, after getting what he wanted from me, so I have to sneak into his room late at night. Then he escaped with his family, so I had to follow him, they were hiding him from me, so cruelly, and then those Jerkops came along…"

"Oh my," Itoshiki gasped. "A CWC-ism! She's a lost cause! I'M IN DESPAIR!" he threw his hands up. "Sonichu's corruption of today's youth has left me in despair!"

"Sensei, please," Negi patiently said as Chie stood aside, obliviously painting her finger nails red. "Don't try teaching our students things are hopeless! That's not only false, but discouraging! There is always a way, a path to improve ourselves!"

"- and then I had to bug his room, after he stopped answering my calls, and so I learned he talked badly of me to his family…" Matoi kept on muttering.

"Perhaps, but I suspect her path was blocked by a rockslide," Itoshiki dryly observed.

Negi ran a hand down his own face.

"Stalker?!" Fuura Kafuka startled the boy then, appearing out of nowhere behind him. "Ha ha, that's just silly! There's no way we could have someone as dangerous as a stalker living right amongst us!"

"Wh-Where did you just come from?!" exclaimed Itoshiki with figurative heart in hand.

"That's not important now, Sensei!" Kafuka cutely giggled. "What matters is, this isn't the behavior of a stalker! This is simply, purely, a beautiful and innocent… **DEEP LOVE**!"

Tsunetsuki raised her head to give Kafuka an impressed glare. _"Deep… Love…?"_ she weakly mouthed.

Kafuka nodded, smiling widely. "A-yep! It's the ultimate manifestation of unyielding, stubborn, driven romantic passion! Deep Love!"

"Deep Love…" Matoi repeated, liking the sound of it.

"But that is wrong!" Itoshiki protested. "Bugging a boy's bedroom after breaking into it isn't love!"

_Somewhere, Daidouji Tomoyo sneezed. _

"No one has ever said love has to be good by default," Chie passively said from a side, flipping through a fashion magazine.

_Somewhere, Gasai Yuuno sneezed._

"That's the kind of love that presses the biggest emotional buttons in people!" Kafuka argued. "The kind of love that sells movie tickets and books by the millions, even if they happen to deal with crappy vampires!" Even Kafuka wasn't optimistic enough to deny Twilight's horridness.

"Well, it's true that such books seem to sell…" Itoshiki said, "But so do books on teen prostitution, the corruption of the underaged, and drug cartels! Real love has to be mature, complex and often painful, even tragic, like the love of Section Chief Shima Kosaku!"

"… who?" asked Negi.

"The clammy, dark love of a middle-aged man!" Itoshiki gestured grandly. "That's what Deep Love really means!"

"No, my love is Deep and intense, too," Matoi quietly said. "And I'm a lover, not a stalker! My love is just a little deeper than everyone else's! It's not my fault if Taisuke-kun doesn't feel the same way yet, but he will, he will, after… Oh-oh! That reminds me! I've left him alone far too long! What if, what if his love resolve falters now? What if someone else seduces him? What if disaster befalls him? I'm too worried! I won't be at peace until I see him again!"

And she bolted up from her chair and raced for the door, as Kafuka stepped aside to make way for her.

"Wait, Tsunetsuki-san!" Negi tried to stop her. "He's got a restraining order on you! You'll be arrested again! Think of your mother!"

"I'm in Despair!" she cried. "Knowing my beloved must be about to be taken from me has left me in despaiiiiiiir!" Her voice now trailed away from the hallway outside.

"… that's my catchphrase!" Itoshiki gasped.

Chie-sensei sighed softly, setting the magazine down. "Good job. Now please go and look for her, will you?"

"Bye-bye!" Kafuka waved at the two males. "Best of luck!"

Itoshiki blinked. "But why us…?"

"Because you are her teacher, perhaps?" Chie said.

"And you are her counsellor, so why don't you come with us?" the man demanded.

"I'm also the counsellor to many others, and I can't leave this sacred post unattended," she said, leaning back on her chair, crossing her shapely legs and grabbing another magazine. "I trust you will do the right thing."

"But…!" Itoshiki squealed.

"Come on, Sensei!" Negi already was pulling him out the door. "Let's go do the right thing!"

"Yes, please do so," Chie hummed, beginning to re-read her magazine. "Ooohhhh, Yuuki Ringo is such a genius…"

* * *

><p>"So let me see if I heard you right," Itou Makoto, plain-looking, black haired student of Class 1-3 of Mahora Combined High School, sat before the TV of his bedroom, playing videogames with his taller, marginally better looking, brown-haired best friend and roommate. "You rejected a girl. <em>You?<em>"

Sawanaga Taisuke snorted. "I wouldn't call her a girl. More like a banshee who sneaks behind you, breathing on your neck and then making that strange creepy sound she makes…"

"I didn't hear you complaining while you were dating," Makoto said.

"Give me a break!" Taisuke said. "That was before I learned how overwhelming she could be! Seriously, you know how overbearing she is! You've seen all the text messages and calls she sends me! A man can't live like that, Makoto! Besides, I've got my eyes set on bigger prizes now."

Makoto sighed. "Yeah, I think she crossed a line when she left _that_ package for you at the door, but even so-"

"TAISUKE-KUN!" Matoi yelled then, slamming their door open. "You've been avoiding my calls again!"

Taisuke nearly jumped off his skin. "Gahhhh! Wha-what if I hadn't been decent, you wacko!"

"Why wouldn't you be decent when in a bedroom with another man?" Matoi asked. She looked at Makoto accusingly. "You're perverting him for your own goals, aren't you? You fiend! Just like your father! Yes, I know about your father, I made sure of making background searches for everyone who is close to Taisuke-kun…!"

Makoto blinked. "… what do you mean…?"

"Hey, cut it out!" Taisuke stomped ahead. "I've told you, we're done! Not an item anymore! Finished! Why can't you get that already? And besides, I'm not gay! And even if I were, I'd aim higher than Makoto!"

"Gee, thanks. It's mutual…" Makoto droned.

"Anyway, get outta my house and outta my life!" Taisuke barked to Matoi. "Or I'm calling the cops again!"

Makoto sighed and walked towards the kitchen. "Never mind me, I'm going for a tuna sandwich…"

"We are in love!" Matoi wailed. "How can you tell those mean things to your future wife, Taisuke-kun! After everything we promised each other, too!"

Then another figure appeared at the doorstep. Followed by yet another, much smaller one. "Ah, there you are!" the tall pale man in the hakama said. "Tsunetsuki-san!"

Matoi cringed. "Sensei! And Sensei!"

Taisuke blinked. "Sensei? And Sensei?"

"Yes!" Itoshiki nodded. "Sensei! And Sensei! Together, we fight crime! Or something."

Makoto's voice hummed from the kitchen. "Hnnn… So, sandwiches for you as well, Sensei? And Sensei?"

Negi looked up at Nozomu. "Sensei?"

Itoshiki nodded. "Yes, Sensei."

"Okay, thank you! One for me and one for Sensei!" said Negi-sensei.

"Coming right up, Sensei!"

"Don't interrupt us, Sensei and Sensei!" Matoi growled. "This is between Sensei and Sensei! I mean, between Taisuke-kun and me! ARRRRGHHHH! Just look at what you made me say, Sensei!"

"And Sensei," Itoshiki-sensei pointed down at Negi-sensei. "Anyway, Tsunetsuki-san, your loud proclamation of love is simply ridiculous, childish and baseless!"

"And why would that be? What do you know on the subject of love?" Matoi challenged.

"Two tuna sandwiches…" Makoto strolled in, giving one to Sensei and Sensei each.

"Thank you," Itoshiki said, taking his and taking a bite. "Hmmm, good one. You'd make a good wife."

_Somewhere, Emiya Shirou sneezed. _

"Yes, indeed," Negi nodded, chomping on his. "Wait… What?"

"I was saying," Itoshiki stated solemnly, "If you really love someone… You should be willing to die with them!"

"No, I'm pretty sure that's not what you were saying," Makoto said blandly.

"Come again?" Matoi doubted. "Dying… with Taisuke-kun?"

"Other than the part where it's with me, I'm all behind that plan," Taisuke said.

"Sawanaga-san! That's no way to talk to a lady!" Negi chided him. Taisuke just threw his hands up in half-hearted apology.

"As all good Classic Literature will tell you," Itoshiki said, unknowingly adopting that old 'Know It All' body posture, "the ultimate, most heart wrenching form of love is the shared sacrifice! And that means… DOUBLE SUICIDE!"

Negi, who had just accepted a glass of juice from Itou-san, promptly spat it all over Itou's front. And actually, so did Itou do to him.

"What," Sawanaga said, in a dead disbelieving tone.

"The path of love, like all paths in life, ends up leading to death!" argued Itoshiki. "So it's only logical taking that road with the one you care the most! If you really love each other, you should do that! I guarantee it'll finish all your petty squabbles forever!"

Makoto looked at Negi. "Is this guy for real?"

"I-Itoshiki-sensei, please! Listen at what you're saying!" Negi screamed.

"Because all that 'dying together' crap really sounds like something out of a Bad End for a cheesy game or visual novel…" Makoto hummed.

"I don't want to live with her, much less die with her! Cut it out with the sick jokes!" Taisuke angrily said, while pointing at a silent and shocked Matoi.

"Here," Itoshiki said, leaving a black briefcase before the youngsters. "This is one of my reserve travel packs, in the event you decide to take that important step together. Ponder it wisely, and in case you decide against it, please hand the pack back to me. Well, since we trust your good judgment on the matter, we will leave it to you from here on. Let's go, Negi-sensei," he said, heading back through the door.

"But-! BUT-!" Negi choked in his saliva, before giving the students an exasperated look and a shrug of his shoulders. "Please don't die, okay?" he begged, bringing his hands together, before quickly following Itoshiki away. They could hear Negi's protestations to the man down the hallway, but they couldn't make their exact content out too well.

They remained in silence for the next several moments, Makoto wiping juice off his shirt, Taisuke facepalming, and Matoi staring at the door with a curiously intrigued expression.

Finally, she sighed and began walking out. "Good night," she quietly said.

"Hey, aren't you going to take this shit away?!" Taisuke said, holding the briefcase up, but she already was gone, moving with deceiving speed.

Makoto approached him. "Say, what's in that thing, anyway?"

Taisuke frowned and hummed. "Let's see…" He opened it.

Both boys cringed very deeply. Inside, there was a veritable arsenal of instruments of death and self-destruction, ranging from hangman nooses and handguns to bottles of poison and knives. It also included a few Enka discs and a legal kit to write your own last will and testament.

"Eeeeewww… Weirdos," Taisuke commented.

Makoto weighed a large knife in his hands. "Maybe Kotonoha-san would like this one? It looks foreign and expensive…"

* * *

><p><em>Next morning:<em>

"Aaaahhhh…" Itoshiki breathed out as he read the newspaper (starting from the obituaries and crime news, as always) over his spartan breakfast generously spiced up with toxins and glass shards. "That's good, I guess. No news on any double suicides, so they must have sobered up…"

* * *

><p>"Kobushi?" he asked later, as he took attendance of Class 2-F.<p>

"Here, Sensei," Kobushi Abiru weakly raised a trembling, very bandaged arm.

"Komori?"

"Here as always," the classroom hikikomori said from her corner at the bottom of the class.

"Maruichi?"

"Right here," a girl with short black hair carelessly said while counting a thick wad of yen bills.

"Tsunetsuki?"

A moment ago, she hadn't been there. But right then, as soon as her name had been spoken, as if on cue, she walked in, sporting a perfectly nice, pleasant and sweet smile.

"I am here, Sensei," she said.

The rest of the class reacted with stunned, muted horror and rigidity, as Tsunetsuki elegantly made her way over to her seat, wearing a perfect copy of the teacher's ensemble of hakama and sandals, if in more feminine colors. Kaga Ai began choking in a very low tone, and a single long hair sprang from a side of Kitsu Chiri's head, but no one said a single word.

Until Despair-sensei greeted the newcomer with an attitude, for once, completely relaxed and serene. "Well, good morning, Tsunetsuki-san. My congratulations on your choice of fashion today. Is it because of some special occasion?"

She only nodded, with a slight blush on her cheeks and an adoring look in her eyes.

"I see," he nodded, apparently unwilling to keep asking on the subject. "Now, Aoyama…?"

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

Itoshiki's skin crawled up. What had been that strange, unnerving sound?

He looked all around for the noise's source, but saw nothing out of normal (for once) in his students, all of whom sat very still and in perfect order.

"… H-Here…" Aoyama finally said, shyly raising a hand.

"Hmmm," Itoshiki said. "Okusa…?"

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

That sound again! Itoshiki's head wildly whipped around in all directions, but once again, no sound source could be identified. He looked back at the students and asked, "Did any of you say anything?"

They all quietly, eerily shook their heads.

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…** the sound came to him again, and Itoshiki took two steps forward, narrowing the emission to a particular seat, the one where Matoi sat, staring fixedly at him, barely even blinking, and smiling, in a dreamy, absorbed way…

"Oh. No," he softly gasped, his features going even paler than usual.

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

"No. No, no, no, no, no, no no no. No!" the teacher repeated.

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

He quickly ran out the door, tossing his hands up. "I'M IN DESPAIR! BEING THE LATEST VICTIM IN A STRING OF INCIDENTS THAT WILL RUIN MY CAREER HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

Swift and efficiently, never running but regardless moving faster than anyone who might have attempted stopping her, Matoi went after him.

Silence reigned in the class once again.

"So," the bespectacled Fujiyoshi Harumi finally said, "anyone up for a round of Spin the Bottle?"

* * *

><p><em>And so…<em>

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

"Itoshiki-kun," Takahata asked during lunch, "is it you whom Tsunetsuki-kun is staring at from behind that chair?"

Itoshiki buried his face deeper into his plate and made an agonic gurgling sound.

"It didn't work as expected, did it?" Negi asked sympathetically.

Itoshiki lifted his haunted eyes from the plate. "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"Well," Negi said, "since she seems to have shifted her attentions over to you, although I very well could be mistaken, I thought…"

"That was sarcasm, Negi-sensei," Ririko Kagome-sensei told him.

"Aaaahhhh…"

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

"You'd better find a way to stop it soon, or the Headmaster will have to take measures," Akashi-sensei gently said.

"I know…" Itoshiki groaned. "I will kill myself. That will stop Tsunetsuki-san's infatuation with me."

_"Probably,"_ Nikaido-sensei cautioned. "Honestly, even those certain others around here who have their much younger students crushing after them don't have it that bad. At least those students who will remain similarly unnamed have some level of self-restrain left…"

Ririko-sensei, Fujimura-sensei, Yukari-sensei and Kuroi-sensei nodded sagely. Takahata just stared quiet cold murder at Nikaido, who simply smiled sharply at him.

"Maybe we should invite her to come here and lunch with us?" Negi wondered. "She can't be comfortable, crouching there as she eats…"

"NO!" every other teacher around the huge table shouted, in sudden panic.

"But, but I thought…!"

"YOU'LL MAKE IT EVEN WORSE!" they chorused.

Negi blinked several times, then slowly guessed, "Had it happened to you ever before…?"

Nyamo-sensei wandered away into a corner to breathe in and out of a brown paper bag.

"It's a topic we all have agreed never touching on unless absolutely necessary, Sensei," Nitta benevolently told the small boy.

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

Itoshiki twitched violently. Over at her corner, Nyamo's knees wobbled in place.

* * *

><p><em>Been thinkin' for a while and there's something I gotta tell you<em>.

She followed him after classes.

_Been thinkin' that our love for each other has grown so very strong_.

She followed him into the train back home.

_It's plain to see we're building our worlds together_.

She followed him into the residential area for the teachers.

_I'm looking in your eyes right now and I can tell you feel the same_.

He slammed his house's door on her face.

_We are in love…_

He locked himself in his bedroom, pulled the curtains close, and assumed a fetal position on his bed, suckling on his thumb.

_I am so in love today_.

"I think I'm gonna run away," he muttered to himself.

_We are in love…_

His cellphone rang. Just as his nightstand's phone rang as well.

"Did you tap my phone lines?" he wondered aloud.

_Yes, I tapped your phone lines_.

_We are in love…_

He wrapped a pillow around his head and rocked back and forth in place.

_I won't lie, you're a very pretty lady. But you're crazy, crazy, crazy. You make me want to move to the border. You know I'm thinking I should get a restraining order. Even though those are so hard to enforce_.

His phones kept ringing.

_We are in love…_

Outside, it was raining a violent storm now. As a flash of lightning bathed the whole street, had Itoshiki been looking out his window, he could have seen Tsunetsuki Matoi standing on his lawn, with a gigantic smile frozen on her face, unconcerned about the fury elements bashing all over her.

_We are in love…_

Even so, the situation as he understood it was still enough to make him howl his powerless anguish for the whole campus to hear.

"I'M IN DESPAIR!"

_We are in love…_

**JIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII…**

* * *

><p>"She hasn't come," observed Taisuke, staring out his window.<p>

"Nope," said Makoto, who was busy playing an online galge with someone calling himself 'The God of Conquests'. Currently, that person was kicking his ass and stealing his harem away in full force. "Great, huh?"

"She hasn't called, either," his roommate chewed on his knuckles.

"You've always been a lucky guy," Makoto said.

"I haven't heard that piercing, annoying JIIIIIIIIIII all day long!" Taisuke yelled, frantically pacing around the room.

"I guess Despair Sensei's words last night scared her away. Maybe there's a method to his madness, or maybe it takes one to stop another."

"So, you're saying they're made for each other? Is that what you're trying to say, Makoto?! Are you supporting teacher and student relationships, you immoral son of a Sawagoe Tomaru?! As expected from you!"

Makoto pressed Pause. "Man, what's your problem? I thought you wanted to get rid of her!"

"Not like this! This has been too easy! There must be a nasty catch to it!" Taisuke decided, seething as he pulled a jacket on over his shirt. "And I'm gonna learn the truth! Don't wait for me for the dinner!"

"Which dinner?!" the other boy asked. "We were just going to call for pizza, remember!"

"You can have mine!" Taisuke replied, storming out the door.

Itou kept staring at the door for a few moments before shaking his head to himself and returning to his game. "Women are nothing but trouble," he told himself, shortly before one of his conquests stabbed him to death in the game. "Damn, games nowadays sure are bloody."

* * *

><p>He finally found her following the withered down, depressed teacher down a narrow street leaving the main academic area, after the extra hours. She kept a prudent distance, and so did Taisuke, hiding behind a street pole to stare at her with piercing eyes dripping with poison.<p>

_Damn it_, he though, _how could you do this to me? Leaving me for a scarecrow like that… Everyone will laugh at me now!_

Unknowing to him, several steps behind, another girl hid behind the next pole, also staring fiercely at him.

_How could you, Taisuke-kun?!_ Kuroda Hikari sniffled as those thoughts went through her head. _After dating that cheap rocker tramp kohai from 2-A, and pining after Katsura-san of all people, now you are reduced to THIS?! Following a wacko who's in love with Despair-sensei? Why won't you ever notice me?! True, maybe it'd help if I were honest with what I feel and didn't keep denying them every time Sekai-chan brings them up, but that's no excuse for you to ignore my unspoken feelings…!_

The tall, dark haired boy hiding behind the **next** post behind her chewed on his lower lip as he checked her out. _Damn it, dat ass… Maybe I should make a move on her already… Nanami-chan won't put it out, and a man has needs…!_

Behind the next post up the street, a Tall, Dark and Bishoujo presence watched in silent ambush, chewing on one of her thumbs. _Kyouichi…! Don't tell me you're putting the moves on Hikari-chan! My best friend…!_

In turn, around the corner, a fat, smelly man in a white uniform and cap watched her, hiding behind a trash container (on top of which slept the kitty who had bitten on Chisame's fingers last chapter. Aren't we clever?) and drooling slightly. _It's me, Imouto-chaaaan… Your secret admirer, the man who always washes your undies…_

Watching from further behind the man of the cleaning service, Chie-sensei and Negi stood silent witnesses to the bizarre display.

"Arai-sensei… what's that?" asked the naive boy.

The woman sighed. "How disgusting. It's a chain of stalkers."

"No, it's a chain of DEEP LOVE!" Kafuka piped in, appearing right behind them.

"Gah!" Negi jumped up. "You were there?!"

Kafuka nodded. "Yes, always!"

Chisame also walked in. "Ah, there you are, Sensei. Chachamaru was starting to grow concerned… What the hell is that?!"

"A chain of stalkers/DEEP LOVE!" Chie/Kafuka said at the same time.

Chisame took her glasses off and rubbed her eyes. "Oookaaayyyy, sorry for asking. You ask a dumb question…!"

"Itoshiki-sensei's like the Pied Piper of Hamelin!" Kafuka sang, clapping her hands. "Hamelin, Hamelin, Hamelin!"

"It'd be nice if he could lead them all out of town, like in the story…" Chie observed.

"And then drowning them in a river?" Chisame asked.

Chie, Kafuka and Negi stared at her in silence.

Chisame waved her hands before her face. "Hey, hey, hey there…! I'm only going for literary accuracy! Anyway, after the Headmaster learns of this, they'd be better off at the bottom of a river…!"

* * *

><p><em>And so, next day…<em>

"Well, well, Itoshiki-kun!" the old Headmaster Konoe Konoemon said, in quite a pleased tone, overlooking the overcrowded classroom for 2-F. "Now this is inspirational! You've moved the student body so much, pupils from all across the academy are coming to attend your lessons! I'm so proud of you, lad."

Itoshiki sweatdropped. "Thank you, sir, but all the same, I'd like to ask for a leave of absence all through the next week…" he said, not really being heard over the loud sounds of **JIIIIIIIIIIII **filling the classroom, and coming from all the DEEP LOVERS gathered within. At the head of them all, Tsunetsuki Matoi kept on looking adoringly at her teacher.

Kimura Kaere looked at Kafuka. "Hey, aren't they leaving my debut for the next segment?"

"Hmmm, nope, I think they'll be skipping over that and doing a Full Metal Panic chapter instead…"

"Full Metal Panic? Over me?! That's an outrage and an offense! I'LL SUE!" she spun a fist as a random burst of wind blew in through a window and lifted her skirt, flashing her hot pink panties…

_-Divine Wind…-_

* * *

><p>"A stalker?" Munakata Shiho blinked several times, astonished.<p>

"It has to be!" the also short, thin, young girl sitting before her nodded vigorously. She wore thick round glasses, and her light brown hair was tied up into two huge pigtails. She still was wearing her school uniform, just like her taller, curvier, dark haired friend next to her. "That guy has done nothing but chasing Kana-chan around since he was transferred here!"

The four of them were sitting at the privacy of the Mahora Tatsumiya shrine, both mikos in training wearing their priestess outfits.

"Elaborate," Mana asked very calmly.

"It's nothing, actually," Chidori Kaname scoffed dismissively. "The guy's creepy, yeah, but harmless. He doesn't send love letters, he doesn't try to hit on me, nothing! He just follows me around from a distance, always from afar, never saying anything. And that's it."

"That's it?" Shiho scowled. "No way."

"Yeah, nothing else to it," the upperclasswoman shrugged. "Well, only one thing. Once, I got sick of him shadowing us, so I confronted him. He said he had no idea what was I saying, so I got angry and tried to punch him. But he blocked every punch as if it was nothing! I couldn't land a single blow on him. But he didn't strike back, he just blocked and then apologized and left. But by the next day he was following us again, only from a larger distance."

"Weirdo," Shiho put on a face of disgust.

"What does that have to do with us?" Mana was not amused. "Do you wish for a special prayer for your safety? That'll be 500 yen."

The geeky looking girl frowned at her. "Of course not. We know the rumors about you, Tatsumiya-san. They say you fix people's problems for a fee, like a mercenary. That even the Headmaster looks aside and lets you do that."

"What if it were true, Tokiwa Kyoko?" the taller, yet younger female fixed an icy glare on her. "Would you have the resources to afford my services if such were the case?"

Ignoring Kaname's weary sigh, Kyoko emptied her purse in front of Mana, a small hill of coins and bills falling between them. "Yes, I think I do."

With her interest just visibly piqued, Mana did not change her neutral expression, but her fingers moved quickly to count the money at a surprisingly fast pace. Then she shook her head. "It is not enough."

"WHAT?" Kyoko yelled. "Those were our savings of two months!"

"You are still two thousand yen short. Bodyguarding services are never cheap," the dark skinned girl was categorical.

"We only want you to scare that guy away!" Kyoko protested. "It shouldn't take you even an hour!"

"Are you insinuating I am some kind of... demon?" Mana asked flatly.

"Huh? Well, no, but—"

"Let it go, Kyoko," Kaname started to gather the money back. "I told you, we are perfectly able to look after ourselves. Let's just get back home, and they don't even have to see a single cent of this."

Shiho watched silently how her Oneesama's right eyebrow twitched just a bit. "Wait," Mana said.

Kaname stared evenly at her eyes. "For what?"

"We will accept that sum and two weeks of lunches as our payment," Tatsumiya replied.

"Too much," Kaname shook her head.

"One week of lunches, and you start calling us your sempais," the tall Miko offered, her voice still flat. "That's my final offer."

"You are joking!" Chidori snapped. "Why should we call you 'Sempai'? You may be taller than a skyscraper, but we still are two courses above you!"

"We'll take it!" her friend nodded.

"Kyoko!" Kaname exclaimed.

Her shorter companion gave her a begging look. "Please, Kana-chan! It's a small price to pay for some quietness and peace of mind!"

"I have a question" Mana looked at the bespectacled teen again. "You do seem awfully personal in your fear towards that classmate. Are you sure he isn't tailing you instead of your friend? You two are always together, after all."

"M-Me?" Kyoko put a hand over her own modest chest. "Heck, no! Why should he? I'm short, nerdy, and look like a kid! He must be after Kana-chan! After all, she's the popular, pretty and well liked one!"

Chidori-san rolled her eyes around. "Pfft. You say the silliest things."

Mana pondered that in silence for a moment, then nodded. "Fair enough. In that case, tomorrow after classes, make yourselves sure to draw him away from his dorm for at least two hours. To defeat the enemy, you must get to know him in depth first."

Shiho's body posture shifted to one of stiff discomfort. "Wait a second, Oneesama. Don't you mean..."

"I do," Mana dryly nodded.

Munakata whispered into her right ear. "Weren't we supposed to cover the case of the underwear thief?"

"Not anymore," Mana whispered back. "The Dean himself told me to leave it alone."

Shiho grumbled, then asked both visitors, "Haven't you tried to denounce that creep to the teachers?"

"We did," Kaname answered. "All we got were a few nervous laughs and being told we were being... paranoid."

"It was so weird," Kyoko put a a finger on her chin. "Like they almost were afraid or something."

Mana's eyes seemed to gain just the slightest hint of interest.

"Maybe he's the son of some really big fish," Kaname huffed. "Those guys think they own the world."

"No. Not them, exactly," Mana quietly observed.

"Huh?" the visitors looked back at her.

She made a vague sign with her head. "Never mind. Just follow my instructions to the letter. And remember, I like sweet beans with my lunch."

Kyoko scowled. "Sweet beans?"

Everyone was right; 2-A indeed was full of weirdasses.

* * *

><p>"Oneesama..." Shiho whined while nervously looking over her shoulder, "I still don't think we should be doing this... This is a boys-only dormitory! If we are caught—"<p>

"All the neighboring rooms' inhabitants have been... convinced to allow us free access," her Sempai calmly replied while stepping to the front door. Shiho still pouted, though. The corridor they were at could have been unusually deserted now, and she of all people knew well about her superior's intimidating skills, but in their recent dealings with the neighbors, they had seemed just as afraid of that Sagara boy as they were of Mana herself.

Even so, Mana did not seem fazed at all while examining the door's lock. "Shiho," she dryly commanded. "Look at this."

The younger girl looked closely at it. "What the—? This isn't a normal lock at all!"

"No, it isn't, obviously" Mana stated with the briefest hint of irony. "It requires a fingerprint identification and optical scan, plus an access card, to grant entry. It's the kind normally used at military installations. As such, it requires a highly special bypass measure."

She pulled a small device similar to a cube with a tiny drill and drove it pointfirst into the lock, jamming it quickly enough to drown the first sounds of an alarm into absolute silence.

"There. It should have hacked into the rooms' whole security system. Any traps not directly activated by human contact should have been rendered useless," Tatsumiya sedately observed. "But just in case, walk right behind me at all times and don't touch anything."

"Was that from Chao Lingshen?" Shiho asked, eyeing the little gizmo warily.

"From Chao Lingshen," Mana nodded only once.

The redhead tilted her face aside. "That girl will never stop creeping me out."

"Silence. Follow me," Mana pushed the door in, and it posed no resistance. They gave a single step in, Mana not turning the lights on, but using a lantern instead. Aiming the lantern's light in all directions revealed a few red laser beams set around the nearby doors, plus a few random spots on the floor that seemed to have some sort of faintly glowing mechanism hidden underneath them. "Don't step on any of them."

"I won't," Shiho could nothing but nodding.

They walked in deeper and deeper into the small home, which was decorated in an extremely Spartan and functional fashion. "Sagara Sousuke lives alone, which is rather unusual considering the high demand for housings at the Mahora area," Mana was relating without ever changing her business tone. "Look over there, at that window" she gestured at their left. "That building you see through it happens to be the female residence where Tokiwa and Chidori do habit. Judging from the angle, I'd feel safe guessing Sagara has a clear view of our contractors' quarters from there."

"What a pervert! And going so far for it, too!" Shiho whispered.

"Hmmm" the tanned girl made a thoughtful sound. Without adding anything else, she reached a door that had the most lasers around it. Pulling a small can of spray out, she bathed the laser generators with a strange white substance that turned them off immediately. Only then did Mana push that door open as well, and they saw what seemed to be their investigation subject's bedroom, a simple and humble enough room with nothing to write home about.

Except for the huge collection of weapons and firearms of all kinds stashed all around the closet, including hand grenades, hunting knives, cans of pepper gas, Magnums, a few stunguns, a shotgun or two or three, electric batons, brass knuckles, Swiss army knives, and even a slingshot.

The other outstanding thing was a wall full of tacked on, nailed on, stuck on and hanged on images of all sorts of Tokiwa Kyoko, ranging from official documents to carnet photos, but most of them were photographies of her in unsuspecting everyday situations all across the Mahora campus.

Shiho's pigtails stood up in point. "This guy's a murderous nutjob!" she cried. "No wonder Tokiwa-sempai was so worried! I never had seen anything like this! And she, not Chidori-sempai, was the target after all! You nailed it, but how— "

"Not Sempais, Shiho. They are our kohais now," Mana was unfazed, ignoring the weapons much to her assistant's puzzlement after giving them a brief but intense and knowledgeable gaze. Instead, she headed towards the wall covered with photos, carefully looking up and down at them.

Shiho stopped at her side. "I have heard of things like this before. It's a stalker shrine! Those wackos keep them to collect photographies and mementos from those they stalk. Tsunetsuki-sempai from 2-F is told to have a few of them at her home."

"I doubt this is a work born out of passion," Mana evenly pondered. "Chidori told us Sagara never carried cameras around, and never even took pics of them with his cellphone. Plus, look at these photographies, at this side. These ones are airbone, or at the very least taken from a high rooftop's height. You would need a helicopter for some of these angles. No, Sagara has not taken these photos. They are someone else's labor."

Shiho blinked. "You mean there are several psychos working together here? Like a demented fanclub?"

"Worse than stalkers and lovers, if I am not wrong," Mana, for the first time in the whole day, scowled deeply. "Far worse."

She quickly turned around and stomped her way back towards the door. "Out of here, fast! They must know we have entered. I'd bet on that, even with Chao's device breaking the main cameras down."

"They?" Shiho nearly ran after her. "Who are 'they'?"

Tatsumiya's eyes narrowed dangerously. "That's what I'm going to ask him."

* * *

><p>Tatsumiya Mana stood alone, quiet and silent, under the shadow of the World Tree. The twilight was painting the Mahora landscape with a faint red heralding the upcoming night when Tokiwa and Chidori arrived to the meeting point, both looking rather puzzled and unnerved.<p>

"We got your text message," Kaname mumbled, her voice tense. "So, why did you call us here, after all?" She crossed her arms and lightly tapped a foot on the grass.

Mana didn't reply until she saw her kouhai approaching from the opposite direction, with several paper wards in her hands. "Is the perimeter fully secured, Shiho?" the tanned female dryly asked her.

"Yes, Oneesama!" the small girl saluted. "Exactly like you wanted!"

"Good," Mana nodded before addressing her contractors. "As requested, we performed a background search on the subject. We made quite a few interesting discoveries, but we still need the final piece of the puzzle. And for that, we need your cooperation".

"Of... of course," Kyoko blinked, somewhat shocked at seeing the feared Tatsumiya so softly asking for their help. "What do we have to do?"

"Come closer," Mana gestured for them to approach. "This needs to be said in privacy."

Without any word of protest, both sempais advanced toward her. Only to fall squarely into a camouflaged pit trap five steps on their way.

"YOW! HEY! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA HERE?" Kaname protested from the bottom of the hole, while Kyoko rubbed her aching head, sitting on her friend's stomach.

Never missing a beat, Mana simply and very quickly pulled an IMI Desert Eagle and trained it down on both of them, making them to loudly yelp in terror, while aiming another one in the direction they had come from. Behind her, Shiho simply sighed in resignation.

"Sagara Sousuke!" Mana called out with a stern, commanding tone. "Step out of your hiding! Or else, I make no promises about your charge's safety!"

"ARE YOUT OUT OF YOUR FLIPPING MIND?" Kaname angrily yelled. "WAIT UNTIL I PUT MY HANDS ON YOU—"

"Kuh-Kana-chan!" Kyoko cried. "Not while that thing's aimed at us, please!"

Mana ignored them, keeping her eyes fixed on the lone figure stepping out from behind some small trees, like a chameleon appearing out of nowhere. He was tall and handsome, with rebellious short black hair and a small cross shaped scar on the left side of his chin. He seemed merely two years older than her, but his cold jaded eyes spoke of a past as harsh as her own. He still was wearing the standard school uniform, well pressed and clean, even hours after classes were over.

"Shiho," the tall Miko ordered, with her voice never faltering at all. "Take cover."

"Y-Yes. Um, good luck, Oneesama!" the redhead gulped down, rushing to hide behind the gigantic trunk of the arcaic tree.

"Sagara-kun" Mana continued, not moving an inch. Neither did he. "I know your actions aren't moved by desire or lust. What, then, moves you to monitor Tokiwa Kyoko?"

"Ehhhhh?" the bespectacled girl raised her voice from below. "It can't be! I'm the one he's chasing? It has to be a mistake!"

He did not reply. Until Mana simply thrusted the gun's barrel down, making both of her prisoners to yell again.

"I'm not authorized to share that information," he flatly said then.

"You are not authorized to let any harm to befall her, either," Mana threatened, pointing further down once more.

"You will not shoot her," he simply said. "We do have files on you, too. We know you never have killed an innocent civilian."

"I could shoot her in a leg," Mana replied. "Would you be willing to accept that?"

"NO! NO!" Kyoko pleaded.

"TATSUMIYA!" Kaname howled. "I'M GOING TO GRAB YOUR NECK AND TWIST AND TWIST!"

"... No," Sagara finally relented.

"Then drop all your weaponry down and walk to me. Slowly. Without tricks," the mercenary lowly warned.

"Yes," he nodded stoically. Calmly, he reached into his shirt and pulled a handgun out, then dropped it aside. Then another handgun. And another one. By the fifth one, Shiho's peeking eyes resembled saucers.

"What are you doing there? Anwer me, dammit!" Kaname demanded at her lungs' top as the metallic sounds of handcuffs, knives, Berettas, small bombs, nunchakus and the occasional large sharp scissors hitting he grass continued out of the hole.

Even Mana was starting to disbelieve now, as she saw the little hill of weapons now at the boy's feet. "You have been... well backed up," she admitted.

"Yes. I have."

"Come closer, then. Slow. Step by step. That's it. Keep your hands high, and walk in a straight line..."

Then it happened, in a fraction of a blink of an eye.

It came as a glint of metal popping out of his right sleeve. Springing up as a Jack-in-the-Box into his expecting right hand, the Glock was visibly for only the briefest fraction of time before he jumped aside, dodging the first bullet just in time and shooting the gun off Mana's hand. Cursing inwardly, the Miko rolled aside as well, drawing a second identical weapon out at superhuman speed, shooting back a few times. The fire exchange had started, with both adversaries taking refuges behind bushes while Kyoko shrieked and Kaname forcefully pushed her head down, shielding her down with her own body.

"Tatsumiya!" Sagara warned. "Flee this area at once! The sounds of gunfire will surely attract onlookers you are sure to have to answer to!"

She smiled even though their current positions meant he couldn't see her face. "I don't think so. We have taken... some precautions in that regard."

From her own hideout, Shiho couldn't help but smile. Her Oneesama had acknowledged her contributions! That always made her happy. When it happened. Which was not often.

Then her happiness sank down like a dead weight when she noticed he could see her from his own current position. And he had just raised his gun to aim it at her pigtailed head.

"The hostage situation has changed," he dryly announced. "Surrender your weapons and state your intentions and backers before any harm befalls your accomplice."

"Shiho!" Mana breathed. Her voice, finally, had gained just a shade of alarm to it.

"YOU BOTH ARE #$%€ MAD!" Chidori yowled from inside the trap. She couldn't see all what was happening, but she had a good idea about it from its sounds.

Shiho just pouted childishly and wailed. "YATAGARASU! HELP ME!"

"Who?" Sagara asked.

Then it fell from above, swooping down from the tree's branches, like a huge black blur, a whirlwind of furious feathers and a frantic pointy peak stabbing at him. To his credit, he didn't move at all from his spot, ignoring the sudden attack enough to keep the weapon trained on the kouhai, barely using his other arm to try and shake the obscuring, more annoying than anything else, dark bird off. But that was all Mana needed.

Jumping from her hiding place, she shot the Glock off Sagara's hand, then rushed at him to catch him with a punch to the stomach. He recovered in a flash, countering with a punch to her face, but she quickly blocked, then dodged the knife jumping out of his left sleeve and into his hand, threatening to stab her in a flank. She twisted the wrist forcing him to drop the blade, but that allowed his other hand to land a blow on her head. Completely unfazed, she headbutted him, and then, with nearly demonic maniac strength, pummeled him several times with both fists, knocking him down to the dirt.

Not giving him any chance to recover, she slammed a foot down on his chest and locked her gun's sight into his face.

"If I wanted you dead, I'd have shot you right after Shiho distracted you. In the future, I advise you to steer clear from my apprentice" she threatened, back to her flat business intonation. "But that doesn't mean I can't shoot now if I'm not convinced you aren't a menace to our lives. Which agency did send you? The JSSDF? CIA? S.H.I.E.L.D.? A.I.M.? Checkmate?"

"I have no authorization to disclose such information," he spoke, completely unafraid. "I only can tell you my name and serial number."

"I advise you to talk. Because your cover's already blown up. And you can't continue following your charge without explaining her... and us... why is it for. Do you wish for your mission to fail so much?"

He remained in a total, unreadable silence for several long and tense moments before talking again.

"Mithril."

"Mithril!" Mana repeated with what almost seemed surprise. "What's their interest on Tokiwa?"

"I haven't been informed, and if I had been, all I would be authorized to say is I haven't been informed."

He reached back for his gun, handing it to Tatsumiya. "I haven't been deployed at these grounds to use lethal force unless extremely necessary. THESE bullets aren't the standard models."

"Neither are mine," Mana admitted. "Mahora doesn't employ murderers."

"Geez, I thought I was going to die!" Shiho yelled at them both. "Mana-Oneesama, you baka!" Then she sobbed petting the head of the old, one eyed and huge crow now perched on her own right shoulder. "Isn't she, Yatagarasu? Of course she is!"

"Hello...?" Kaname said in a grim and moody tone from down below. "We are still here, remember...? If you bring us out right now, I won't push for a death sentence for you psychos..."

* * *

><p>Shiho took a final look over her shoulder as she walked after her Sempai, watching Tokiwa and Chidori sorting out their (many, many and them some many more) questions to Sagara. Chidori had just pulled a paper fan out and started to whack the boy over the head with it in her exasperation. He wasn't fighting back.<p>

"Are you sure they'll be okay?" she asked with hesitation.

"They will," Mana said with no evident emotion. "We accomplished our mission, and the reasons for his behavior aren't our concern from now on. That story is not our own."

"I don't understand you," Munakata admitted. "First you were so adamant on questioning him, and now you just wash your hands off?"

"I learned all I needed to. Beyond that point, questioning him isn't an intelligent thing for us. Maybe for them, since it involves them directly. But I call my leave on that research. If the Dean trusted Sagara to act here, I'll respect his wishes."

"The Dean could have told you, though..."

Mana shrugged casually. "We are nothing but servants of the mission. Ours is not to question, but to follow on our contracts' guidelines."

The smaller girl frowned, keeping her eyes low, but she said nothing. For a few minutes they kept on walking in silence, heading back to their rooms, until they passed next to the Chao Bao Zi. Its lights were still turned on.

"Hey, Mana-Oneesama."

"What?"

"Wanna stop for a quick after dinner snack? Those sandwiches we ate while waiting for the Sempais to show up just weren't enough!"

"How many times do I have to tell you? They are our kouhais now."

"Sorry."

"As for the meal, I'll pass on it. After all, we don't want our appetite to be spoiled for tomorrow, do we?"

For that once, she allowed herself a wide, smug and real smile.

"I'm going to make sure we have the best lunches of our lives for this whole week," she confided.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	5. Yesterday's Enemy is Today's Nemesis!

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Yesterday's Enemy is Today's Nemesis!<strong>

* * *

><p>"Pi Pi Pi Pi…" went the alarm clock.<p>

The young, busty woman with long brown haired got up from her bed and pulled the curtains of her window open, letting the dawning sunlight bathe her bedroom as she went over to the bathroom to clean herself up. She came back, grabbed her clothes from her closet, and started with the most difficult article of clothing to put on, the white lacy bra that barely contained her ample and round chest assets.

Tight as always. The panties were easier after that, and then the conservative maid uniform favored by the Yukihiro family, complete with the white bonnet on her head, and the apron. She smoothed her long skirt down before putting the glasses on, and smiling at her own image as it finally became visible in the mirror she was facing.

"Mm…"

Saturday Morning. Since it was not a college day, she was to perform the duties the family had hired her for, full time. She was greatly thankful to the Yukihiros for hiring her despite of her proved clumsiness and her part-time studies schedule, so as every other morning, she steeled her resolve to do her best for the family that had been so incredibly generous to her.

"_That blue ocean goes on and on…"_ Minazuki Taeko quietly sang to herself as she mopped the mansion's front steps, carefully enough to actually also count as 'slow as hell', and with a large satisfied smile plastered on her face. The secret, she told herself, was doing everything with the greatest care and love. If she did it that way, and was extra careful on not making a single wrong motion at any moment, perhaps today, she wouldn't…

Then she slipped on one of the wet steps and shrieked, falling face first downstairs, legs pointing up and skirt flapping down, so she ended up with her panties exposed as the skirt covered most of her body up to her neck. Planted on the entrance, with bubbly water all around and on her, and seeping towards the carefully maintained red rose bushes flanking the door, Taeko took a hand to the back of her strained neck and whimpered.

"Ow ow ow…!"

_No matter how much I try, either my mind wanders off or my feet slip, and I end up messing everything up again…_

"Minazuki-san!" she heard Fubuki-san's always-on-the-ready cry coming from the inside, relatively close enough so she couldn't escape it, and she cringed in painful anticipation of the scolding to come.

Right that day, when Ojou-sama would be coming to spend the weekend there, too… What a shame, what an embarrassment…

* * *

><p>Saturday Night. For most youngsters, a time to vent the frustrations and woes of a full week of study and duties by going out to have fun with their friends.<p>

However, the inhabitants of a certain currently crowded dormitory at Mahora Academy were far from being like most normal youngsters.

Chisame was nearly hunchbacked over her computer's keyboard, chatting up a storm with her legions of loyal cyber fans, directing them to her upcoming Net events like a Hannibal addressing his troops.

Negi sat at the living room's table grading a mountain of tests, very quiet and humble. Chamo snored at his feet, next to a few exhausted cigarettes.

Chachamaru was making tea at the small kitchen, and Hakase was fixing the TV, saying she was going to make it 3D. Chisame was expecting they'd have to buy a new one next week.

All in all, another relatively average evening at their home.

That was until the front door's bell rang.

"I'll open," Chachamaru spoke with a docile tone, quickly heading for the door before anyone else could, although only Negi even attempted it; Chamo and Satomi had not even noticed, and Chisame was too busy finishing her session in a hurry and closing the chat window before anyone else found her secret out.

Negi had expected for it to be Misora, who was pretty much the only one who ever visited them, but much to his surprise, three other girls stood there.

"Ah! Kagurazaka-san! Konoe-san! Shiina-san!" he said, putting his pen down. "What a pleasant surprise!"

"Speak for yourself," Kagurazaka Asuna mumbled.

"Good evening, Negi-kun!" Shiina Sakurako giggled with a wink. "And you too, girls!"

"We brought you cookies, some bread and soda!" Konoe Konoka happily announced, holding a full bag up. That triggered Chisame's alarms up. They definitely wanted something.

Chachamaru bowed to the newcomers. "We are honored by your visit. Please accept the hospitality of our humble abode."

Chisame really wished the tin girl wouldn't take such decisions by herself.

Alerted by the sounds of young female voices, Chamo woke up immediately and jumped straight into the largest pair of unexplored breasts in sight. Asuna's.

"GAH!" the redhead shouted, not scared, but clearly annoyed. "Take this dirty thing off me! Rats aren't allowed here!"

"Oh, Asuna!" Sakurako laughed, grabbing the ermine and tenderly petting his head, making him to drool. "Don't be so rude! This isn't a rat, it's obviously a baby skunk! It won't start smelling until he's an adult and gains his black fur!"

"Actually, he's a Welsh ermine" Negi pointed out, with a large drop of sweat on his forehead.

"Is he your pet, Negi-kun?" Konoka lovingly scratched the delighted animal's throat. "Awww, he's so cute and fluffy! He feels so good!"

"Yeah, he certainly felt me up good" Asuna muttered, shaking the white fur off her blue T-shirt.

"There isn't any problem with keeping him here, is it?" the child asked with some concern.

"Nah, it's alright," Sakurako waved a hand. "Small animals are okay. I have three cats myself!"

Chisame approached her. "What are you doing without your cheering friends? You three go out together all Saturday nights, don't you?" she asked.

"Oh, tonight's a special case," the cheerleader replied. "I told Madoka-chan and Misa-chan to go without me. I had more important things to do."

"Such as?" the hacker pressed on.

Konoka placed her gifts on the table with Negi's help, then laughed with slight embarrassment. "Well, heh heh, I guess you could say we're going to ask for a favor from you..."

Chisame didn't seem surprised at all. "Oh."

"I will do everything in my power to be of any assistance," Chachamaru offered with a slight inclination of her head.

"Sit down and tell us," Negi invited them. "I'll be glad to help."

"You're too kind, Negi-kun," Konoka smiled warmly as she sat down, Sakurako quickly following her example. Chisame and Asuna followed suit shortly afterwards, sharing a wary glare.

Hakase finally pulled her dirty, oily and sticky blackened face out of the television set. "Oh? Do we have visits?"

"What do you think?" her bespectacled female roommate shot her a glare.

"... I think we do," the scientist replied, grabbing a piece of cloth and beginning to wipe her hands. "Just wait two more hours and you'll be able to experience a new era of three dimensional cheap entertainment with us!"

"I know we'll regret if for years, but no, sorry," Asuna deadpaned. "We only came to make a quick question."

"It's about Iinchou," Konoka nodded.

"Is there something wrong with her?" Negi asked.

"You mean aside from the usual?" Asuna snickered dryly.

"Quiet, Asuna," Sakurako playfully elbowed her in an arm. "Negi-kun, you know Iinchou and me have been at this Academy for longer than anyone else, don't you?"

Negi nodded again, not being willing to counter with arguments about Sayo and Eva at all.

"Well, Asuna joined in roughly one year after us, and then Konoka the year after her. So in a way, we are, um... linked by that. Do you get me?" the cheerleader asked.

The boy smiled. "Of course."

"That's why we know Iinchou better than anyone at the class," Konoka added.

"Much to our regret," Asuna snarked.

"Tomorrow, Iinchou will be spending all day long at her Manor, right out of the Mahora limits," Sakurako informed. "You'll see, it's going to be a special day for her."

"A special day?" Hakase repeated. "But why?"

Asuna looked aside. "I'm not going to explain it," she said in a low voice, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.

Konoka made her best to keep her smile. "Well..." the black haired girl began, "It's an important anniversary of sorts for her. And usually, she prefers to spend it alone, but... this time, we really would like to ask you to be there with her."

"And why's that?" Chisame distrusted, crossing her arms.

Konoka looked down, a small sigh escaping her lips. "It's because... she needs to get over it," she spoke softly, almost reluctantly. "Or else it'll end up eating her alive..."

Negi looked at her with wide shocked eyes. Chisame and Satomi looked mildly puzzled as well. Chachamaru's face betrayed no change.

Asuna still thought that was a bad idea.

* * *

><p>"Okay, class!" the young teacher had clapped her hands vigorously. "I want you all to meet our new student and friend, Kagurazaka Asuna!" she kindly had announced. "She just transferred here from overseas, so please, make her to feel welcome!"<p>

And then the diminutive redhead with spindly legs and golden bells in her hair had stepped into sight, appearing for the first time in Ayaka's life, with a completely emotionless face. Even then, Ayaka had not liked her. Her face was that of a sulking troublemaker, and her mismatched eyes were simply creepy.

Everyone had greeted the new girl effusively, but she had not even bothered to reply to any of them. Through the whole day, she had remained distant and silent, ignoring anyone's attempts to establish any kind of communication.

And so, after the day's classes were over, and the newcomer was getting ready to leave, the little cute blonde had marched into her way, fists balled up at her own narrow hips. The rest of the class had eagerly gathered around them, watching on with intense curiosity, unsure about the result of the epic facedown sure to ensue.

"Kagurazaka Asuna!" Ayaka had said. "Yes, you! As the Class Representative, I must ask you to explain the motives behind your bad attitude! Do you think you're too good for us?"

A really impressive speech for a child of that tender age. But the rude foreigner had not talked then either. She only had given the local authority figure a blank stare up and down, not even beginning to move her mouth or forming any kind of sound.

It had been only when Ayaka had angrily opened her lips to urge her again that Kagurazaka let out an unintelligible mumble.

"What?" the blonde asked.

"Stpdshrmp," Asuna had muttered under her breath.

Ayaka had leaned her ear near Asuna's mouth. "Louder, please?"

"STUPID SHRIMP!" Asuna had yelled as loud as she could.

"Ahhh!" the Class Rep, scared, had stumbled back before her face flushed as red as blood. "Why, you, how do you dare!" She had immediately pounced onto her. "My ears are delicate!"

"They can't be!" the redhead had quickly grabbed her by the hair. "If you have to listen to your own grating voice all the time—!"

"You hooligan!" Ayaka had pinched her cheeks as hard as she could. "You'll regret saying that!"

"I only regret meeting you!" Asuna had started to try and headbutt her several times.

"A fight! They started to fight!" another girl laughed.

"I bet sixteen yen on Iincho!" Sakurako had jumped on the chance.

"Eighteen yen on the new girl!"

"Oh no, Sensei's coming back! Someone distract her 'til it's over!"

It was with that final memory of her beloved and so disciplined former classmates (and Sakurako) cheering on her misery that Yukihiro Ayaka woke up that bright Sunday morning.

"AHHH! I WON'T FORGIVE YOU!" she screamed, sitting up as if an electric bolt had just zapped her.

Then she noticed she was fourteen. And she was alone at her bedroom, with golden hair all over face. Brushing it aside, she groaned and looked at the clock. Seven and fifteen minutes.

"Ugh," she licked the morning's bad taste out of her mouth. "That again."

She hated when she had that dream. It was usually nothing but an omen of unpleasant things to come.

A few minutes after, however, she was fresh like a newly bloomed rose and sporting her most charming smile as she walked across the halls of her manor, radiant in a white dress, greeting the domestic service along her way. "Good morning, girls! Good morning, Fubuki-san, Siesta-san, Minazuki-san, Cisneros-san, Iglesias-san!"

"Good morning, honorable Ojou-sama!" all the maids bowed to her, although one of them overdid it too clumsily and fell down flat on her face, making all the others to quietly groan to themselves.

"Oh, Minazuki-san!" Ayaka laughed as she helped the brown haired, bespectacled and big chested older girl back to her feet. "Remember, a good posture is the basis for a good balance!"

"I-I'll remember it next time, Ojou-sama!" the young woman tearfully nodded, making tiny embarrassed sobs.

The heiress went to take her seat at the main table, calling on her lead butler with a soft tapping of her silver spoon on her plate. "Sebastian!"

The old, white haired man appeared at her right side immediately. "Ojou-sama?"

"I will drink my tea before deciding on a breakfast," she haughtily commanded. "Get on it right now, please."

"As you wish. But before it, perhaps, you would like to hear about a phone call we received half a hour ago," the gentleman respectfully said, keeping his head low.

"If it's anything related to businesses, it can wait until tomorrow," she strictly said. "I wish for no interruptions of any sort today."

"Understood" Sebastian nodded. "In that case, I shall call Springfield-sama right now and—"

"Springfield?" Ayaka sprang up in alarm. "Negi Springfield?"

"Why, yes, he said such was his name," the butler confirmed. "He claimed being your homeroom teacher, although at first I believed it was a woman calling."

"He hasn't hit puberty yet..." she explained, with her eyes wide. "What did he say? Does he need my help with anything?"

"Oh, no, actually, he simply asked for permission to visit this estate today..."

"OF COURSE HE CAN!" she jumped up from her chair, her tone fully changed to a frantic euphoria. "Call him immediately and tell him he's welcome here at any hour of any day! I-I'd call him myself, but I need to change to something decent first!" she stuttered, embarrassed all of a sudden like a traditional newlywed, before quickly running away back to her bedroom.

The maids all stood there in silent stupor.

"So the rumors were true," the one with short black hair whispered.

"Ours is not to question her interests... but to honor her kindness," the one with long silvery hair sighed.

The tallest one scowled ever so slightly behind her thick glasses, but said absolutely nothing.

Nearly two hours later, it was an even better dressed Ayaka, looking like a fairy tale charmed princess, who ran to the front door after hearing the announcement of her teacher's entrance to her grounds.

"I wish for Sensei to be treated with nothing but the utmost respect!" she instructed her servants. "Anyone who fails at that shall be severely punished! Do I look good enough? What do you think?"

"As fascinating and gorgeous as ever, Ojou-sama," the one with silver hair complimented her.

"Sebastian-sama is bringing him over as we speak," the youngest of the lot, a girl with a heavy foreign accent, her black hair made up in a single small bun, bowed as she opened the front door for her.

"Excellent, simply excellent!" Ayaka giggled happily while walking out, then friendly waving a hand up under the heavy rays of the sun. "Good morning, dear Negi-sensei! Welcome! Please feel right at home!"

And then she screeched to a halt.

"Ah... Good morning!" Negi-sensei, wearing his usual formal suit ensemble, and always carrying his bandaged staff around, bashfully greeted her, standing at Sebastian's right. Behind them, Hasegawa Chisame, in a plain white shirt and blue pants, merely nodded her head once in the rich girl's direction. Hakase Satomi stood nearby, not looking at the hostess at all, clad in shorts and a black shirt, taking some samples of wood from a tree and carefully placing them inside of a small metallic container.

"Good morning, Iinchou-chan!" Shiina Sakurako, in a very short and tight skirt and sleeveless orange top, smiled at her, a red cap perched on the top of her head.

"Hello! You look very good today!" Konoe Konoka chirped, happy as a free bird, at Sakurako's left and wearing a pretty summer dress with sandals.

"A bit too fancy for a simple short visit, though..." Finally, the bane of Ayaka's existence, Kagurazaka Asuna, completed the group, crossing her arms and looking rather nonchalant, in a simple but elegant ensemble of a light red blouse and a matching skirt.

No wonder Ayaka hated when she had that dream. It was usually nothing but an omen of unpleasant things to come.

* * *

><p>"Wha-What are you all doing here!?" a livid Ayaka aimed an accusing finger at her five classmates.<p>

"He's still new here. He doesn't know the local bus routes yet," Chisame dryly answered.

"And besides, I heard it's dangerous to allow children to wander alone here," Asuna made the vaguest hint of a smirk.

"No, but it's dangerous to allow Kagurazaka Asunas to stalk around these premises!" Ayaka said with a dangerous glint in her eyes.

"Come on, calm down, calm down," Konoka easily asked. "We're all friends here, aren't we?"

"Most of us, yes!" Ayaka kept her angry glare fixed on her rival.

"No discussion there" Asuna nodded. "Let's see, one, two, three, four, five and six," she counted herself, Konoka, Sakurako, Negi, Chisame and Satomi. "Yep, a clear majority."

Hakase finally looked at Ayaka when the sounds of heavy fighting had started. "Oh, hello, Iinchou-san! You do have some rather scarce species around here. I even collected some samples of the nearly extinct hunchbacked rhinoceros beetle of striped wings. Iinchou-san? Why are you fighting Asuna-san?"

"IF YOU AREN'T MY FRIEND, I DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!" the heiress said as she attempted her best to land a kick on Asuna.

"BELIEVE ME, NEITHER DO I!" Asuna kept on dodging her, similarly failing at landing a punch on her face.

"Stop it, you two, please!" Negi flailed his arms around, trying to keep them apart from each other.

"Asuna! Asuna! Remember your promise!" Konoka also tried to interfere.

"I have the feeling this is going to end up becoming a live action game of Clue" Chisame moaned.

"Colonel Mustard, with the knife, at the library!" Sakurako giggled. "I bet you forty on that!"

"Should I bring the crowbar to pry them apart?" the tallest maid asked, in an extremely dry tone.

"Cisneros-san, you know that's the absolute last resource!" Fubuki-san scolded her.

"Now this is better," Negi pleasantly smiled minutes after, as Ayaka led him and the girls along the manor's grounds. "Wow, this is the largest garden I've ever seen at my life, Iinchou-san" he marveled, looking all around.

"It's only the front yard," Ayaka smiled back, with a very gentle expression. "I'm glad you like it."

"It's your first time here, Chisame-chan?" Konoka asked Hasegawa, seeing how she was looking with badly camouflaged wonder at the gigantic trees and fountains all around them.

"Of course it is," the hacker had to nod. Oh, if only Chiu could make a webshow from there! She could tell her fans it was her house, and they would swoon ever harder than ever! Alas, that was impossible, but she still could do the next best thing.

She started taking photos of the whole place with her cellphone, taking advantage of the hostess' infatuation with Sensei. What her fans couldn't know wouldn't hurt them.

Asuna marched at the back of the group, looking actually somewhat embarrassed and uneasy. Hakase walked next to her, taking notes of the structures she found on her way, occasionally writing a few comments on how to improve on the designs, mostly by attaching some sort of mechanical device to them.

"So, Negi-sensei," Ayaka smiled even more, grabbing him lovingly by a hand, "To what do I owe the honor of this visit?"

"Well, um..." very briefly, he gave the other girls a questioning look. Asuna made a few 'No-No' signs with a hand, almost frantically, and Chisame, Sakurako and Konoka all seemed to agree. Hakase was too busy to even notice it. "Well, yes, I just figured... since you are our Class Rep, and you have shown so much interest on..." he blushed charmingly, "... your performance both as a student and a leader, I figured I should come to get to know you better and express my encouragement..."

"Ah...!" the beautiful blonde swooned. "That... That is so wonderful! A-As a matter of fact..." she lightly leaned towards him, "I feel so good I almost could faint! I haven't been this happy in such a long time..."

She quickly recomposed, grabbing his other hand as well, and stopping her walking and his. "If you would like, you could relocate to this residence. It is the most fitting place for a prodigy with needs such as yours at this whole area. You would lead the most comfortable and relaxing life you ever could imagine..."

"Ah...?" he cluelessly blinked.

"No thanks," Chisame grabbed him by an arm and pulled him back to herself. "I fear he would relax TOO MUCH if left here..."

"And she would relax EVEN MORE..." Asuna caustically observed.

"That reminds me!" Ayaka said. "Would you like to see my bedroom? Of course you would!"

"Whoah! Iinchou doesn't waste time!" Sakurako whistled as the millionaire quickly pulled the boy away with herself.

"We'd better catch up or something horrible will happen," Asuna rushed after them, with Chisame hot on her heels. Sakurako happily skipped after them in turn, and Konoka grabbed the still absent Hakase and pulled her along with them.

"These are my private chambers," the blonde proudly stated as she opened her room's door. Negi made an awed sound; it put even Evangeline's bedroom to shame. It was decorated with excellent taste, and yet it had something of almost anything you could ask for in a personal room.

Chisame and Satomi, however, were disappointed at not seeing any computers there.

"You have made a few additions lately!" Sakurako giggled again, grabbing the large framed picture of Negi from Ayaka's nightstand.

"Hmph. Or course I would. Is there anything wrong with having a valuable memento of your mentor and guiding figure?" the house's owner asked.

"It's huge, and so warm, so full of a loving feeling..." Negi innocently gazed all around, his smile growing wider at each moment.

"I'm moved by your words," Ayaka blushed, grabbing his hands again and making him to sit down at her large and soft bed's edge with her. "Yes, love is all I'm about when it comes to you..."

"Okay, now this is getting creepy," Chisame commented.

"In any moment now she'll fully forget we're here and go for the lips," Asuna grimaced.

"K-Keep your dirty thoughts away! I'm talking about pure and honest love and admiration!" Ayaka flushed furiously. "Really! You still have a lot to teach them, Sensei. Switching over to a more pleasant matter, do you happen to like tea?"

"Oh, yes! A lot!" he answered.

"Good!" She rang the bell hanging over her bed. "I thought you would! A perfect English gentleman like you couldn't be any other way. My servants will bring you a humble selection of our best".

Immediately, Sebastian and Iglesias ran in pushing a huge rolling cart full with lines and lines of full glasses.

"From left to right, we do have Rose Hip, Lemon Verbena, Dandelion, German Chamomile, Sweet Fennel, Elder Flower, St. John's Wort, Linden and Sage. Further variations are available upon your request, young sir," the old gentleman bowed.

"Ahhhh," Negi barely could babble.

"Actually, seeing all that made me thirsty for a Coke," Asuna snorted.

Ayaka snapped her fingers. "Fubuki-san!"

The lead Maid rushed in pushing a long wheeled tray filled with all kinds of sweets and candy.

"We have all sorts of cake and biscuits to go along with your tea," the woman announced. "They come from 53 different countries, including Switzerland, Latveria and Poland."

"Oh! Chocolate!" the cheerleader licked her lips, picking an especially tempting large chunk of cake.

"I would like mine sugar-low" Hakase examined them carefully.

"There is no thing such as overkill, I used to believe..." Kagurazaka sighed.

Negi had picked a cup of tea and drank from it with excellent manners, then to smile at Miss Yukihiro. "It's simply delicious, Iinchou-san. It reminds me of the parfaits my Sister always makes."

"Oh!" Ayaka paused. "You... You do have a sister?"

"Well... She's my cousin, actually, but we were raised as siblings," he admitted. Chisame's face betrayed some quiet surprise at that detail, but before she and the Class Rep could finish digesting it, Sakurako had jumped up happily.

"Let's use the pool!" the cheerful girl suggested. "The day's hot, and I feel like swimming!"

"Oh?" Negi looked at her. "You just ate; you should wait at least half a hour first..."

"It's okay, Iinchou will pay the medical bills if needed," Asuna grabbed him by a hand and pulled him along with them. "If I remember it correctly, the pool is this way..."

"Hey! We hadn't finished here!" Ayaka protested, nearly racing to catch up to them. "How rude of you!"

Sebastian sighed as he and the two maids were left behind. "I never had seen Ojou-sama to feel this strongly for anyone..."

Iglesias smiled before picking a biscuit and pushing it into her mouth. "If you ask me... she needed it".

* * *

><p>"YAHOO!" Asuna laughed as she threw her blouse, the final piece left remaining of her outer clothes, aside and gave a very high jump up to fall into the mansion's gigantic pool with a splash, now reduced to a bright pink one piece.<p>

"Here we go!" Konoka followed suit seconds afterward, now clad in nothing but a dark blue school swimsuit.

"It's party time!" Sakurako joined in, wearing a rather skimpy orange bikini with polka dot dark red spots.

The three girls began to swim around and playfully splash each other as Chisame calmly removed her pants down and stood in a simple dark purple one piece, shaking her head. "Honestly, you guys... The nerve of you..."

"Oh, come on, Chisame-chan!" Sakurako splashed in her direction. "As if you're any better! You brought a swimsuit, too!"

"You all but forced us to!" the hacker snapped back.

Satomi was now in a light blue two piece made of short shorts and a brief sleeveless top which showed her navel area. She sat down next to the pool, barely dipping her feet in. Slowly, the genius sighed, feeling terribly bored already. After the discoveries at the front yard, the rest of the manor offered no excitement to her. She started to envy Chachamaru, who had gotten to stay at home under the pretenses of cleaning the apartment and then looking after the cats.

Then the scientist felt someone's gaze sharply fixed on her. She looked up to see Sakurako floating right before her, eyeing her like a mischievously crocodile stalking a prey.

"Is-Is there something wrong?" Hakase couldn't help but feeling slightly wary for some reason.

"Of course there is!" the cheerleader protested. "You aren't in here with us, silly!"

"I'm... not a good swimmer," Satomi averted her glare. "You know I have to struggle with it at classes".

"All the more reason for you to practice now, then!" Konoka pointed out.

"Yeah, Prof," Asuna nodded. "Loose down just for once. It'll do you good!"

"I'm not sure..."

"Oh, for the love of—!" Sakurako grabbed her by an ankle and pulled her into the water with herself, gaining a brief shriek from Hakase. "You gotta stop overthinking everything!".

"Kya! No!" Hakase waved her hands around, struggling to break free and return to dry land, but the (even if only marginally) stronger cheerleader wouldn't have anything of it.

"No, no, no! I won't let you go until your promise to start enjoying yourself!" the perky girl cutely shook her head, tightening a bear hug around Satomi's midsection, pressing her against herself. Hakase found herself squirming against the unusual, hard to describe physical closeness. She was somewhat used to bathing with Chisame, but somehow, this felt different. Sakurako holding her so tightly, so personally, enough to almost rub her chest against hers, no, scratch the 'almost', was quite unnerving, mostly because it felt so alien, and yet, good and comforting in a way that simply scared her.

Hakase had always taken pride on being unafraid to learn about everything and anything, but suddenly, she felt a sharp terror about continuing exploring her own reactions to that hideously teasing sensation. So she relented with a hasty nod of her head, hoping Sakurako couldn't notice the blush on her cheeks, behind her soaked up and foggy glasses.

She breathed easier when that made Shiina to release her. "Good girl!" the eternally happy schoolgirl laughed good naturedly. Right before rubbing the tip of her tiny nose against Satomi's, making her to blush even more.

"Gah, gah, gah!" Hakase struggled to get any sounds out. Sakurako just blinked and looked at her eyes.

"Eh? What's wrong now, Prof?"

"No... Nothing," she adjusted her glasses back, regaining her objective composure. Ridiculous. If Chao could see her now, she'd never hear the end of it.

It was bad enough the way Chisame and Asuna were now looking at both of them, perplexed. Konoka, on the other hand, just laughed as if she had just heard the best joke in the world.

"W-well," Hasegawa rasped uneasily, attempting to leave the rather disturbing implications of what she had just seen (Hakase! Showing! Emotion!) behind. "Wh-where's Sensei? That little pig's just too afraid of water..."

"And he isn't the only one!" Konoka lunged an arm ahead and grabbed Chisame by a hand, also pulling her into the water with them. Fortunately for the secret Net idol, Asuna's roommate did not attempt as close an approach as Sakurako had done with Hakase, contented by just laughing at her while Hasegawa spat water and coughed up.

"Konoe! Cough, cough! I'm going to—"

Asuna patted her in the head. "I feel your pain. But years of living with Kono-chan have dulled me from feeling too much," she cautioned.

Konoka just splashed her some more, and by extension, splashed Chisame as well. "Oh, Asuna, _you_!"

Negi walked out of the dressing room for men, in sandals and boxers, shirtless, and smiled warmly at seeing his students playing amongst themselves. However, he still remained as quiet as he could before any of them thought about dragging him into the... water...

Then he felt the door of the other dressing room behind him being opened, and he looked back with a gentle grin. "Ah, Iinchou-san! Thank you very much for... for..."

Wearing an elegant but pretty revealing white biniki, her pale feet bare, her gold hair waving loose behind her at each step, the Class Rep looked down at the suddenly silent boy. "Yes, Sensei?" she sweetly asked.

"No, nothing!" he hurried to complete the sentence, wondering what had just happened to himself. "Just wanted to give you our thanks for your hospitality!"

"Oh, it's my pleasure!" the vision of beauty laughed it off. "It's the least I can do for you!"

"Hey, Iinchou!" Asuna called out from the water. "Wanna go for a race?"

"No, thanks!" the heiress huffed. "There's no way I ever could beat a kappa monster at its element!"

Asuna seemed offended for a moment, but she let it to slide.

"Leave the children to their games, Sensei," Ayaka said as she lured him away until they both took chairs around a large beach table with a colorful umbrella on top. "Truly, they are so immature for their age... while you are so mature for yours," she lovingly sighed.

"Oh, no, not at all," he denied.

"And so modest, as well!" she cooed. "Do you want more cookies?" she grabbed a bowl of them that was at the other side of the table and offered it to him. "I made them myself!"

At the mansion's kitchen, meanwhile, Siesta sneezed loudly all of a sudden.

The black haired maid rubbed her nose with a tissue. "Ojou-sama must be taking credit for the cookies again..." she guessed.

* * *

><p><em>At the same time, down Academy City, this happened:<em>

Chachamaru knew the Master was there before she heard her soft, even steps coming from behind. She knew when the cats she had been feeding started retreating, hissing and meowing, slinking back into the ruins of the empty yard.

The gynoid slowly got up from her crouching position and turned around to face the small blonde. "Hello, Master."

"Good afternoon, Chachamaru," Evangeline calmly replied.

"I assume you wish to ask me something?" the green haired girl humbly asked, keeping her hands crossed over her own lap.

"Hm," Eva chuckled. "I knew I would find you here, with the cats. You are still the same, no matter what poison Hakase tries to put in your head. That gives me some degree of hope, actually. Yes, Chachamaru. I have come to ask you something."

"Hakase-san has ordered me to stop helping you," the robot monotoned. "The protocols are clear. I am sorry."

The vampiress huffed while pulling the small disc out. "Do you recognize this?"

Chachamaru's eyes zoomed on it. After some moments, she nodded. "Affirmative. Software Number Three Hundred Two, codenamed Prometheus. Chao-san's secret project. But I was unaware it had been finished."

"Well, it is now," the Master smirked. "Has Hakase instructed you against accepting it?"

"Negative."

She held the disc a few centimeters higher. "Would you accept it?"

Again, the visual scanners checked the shiny surface and the inner programming for a few seconds before the calmed voice of the machine sounded again.

"Yes."

Her right hand reached over, carefully grabbing the small object and lifting it up from the Master's hand. A soft click came from the back of her head, where a small tray had just popped out, Hakase and Chao used it often to insert updates, but never one of that kind.

Still, Chachamaru did not hesitate.

Softly, she reached back to put the disc in place, waiting as the tray closed back and the new program ran through her mind, rewriting and erasing old directives, shutting old barriers down, allowing new behavior possibilities. She marveled (yes, now she could marvel to some degree) about the new venues of thinking that allowed, and it took her a few minutes to adapt to it, as she assimilated the new concepts dropped into her personality.

Free choice.

What a strange thing to go along with her barely nascent feelings.

Crossed feelings, to make the situation worse.

Finally, Evangeline could not wait any longer. "Do you get it now?" she asked.

"Yes. I believe I do," Chachamaru's voice was still subdued, and yet it had subtly changed.

The small immortal tilted her head aside, feigning the usual indifference. Chachamaru could feel her quickened heart rate, and Evangeline knew it, but it still was an unspoken agreement between them to just gloss over that.

It already felt like one week ago again. To some level.

"So... What will you do now?" Eva finally asked, pretending not to care.

"Do you wish for me to return with you? After all that happened?" her former servant asked back.

"I know it wasn't your fault," the child-looking temptress mused. "I was angry when I accused you, but I dwelled on it and realized you had no choice. It was wrong for Hakase to use you that way."

"She had her reasons."

"Not good enough for me," the blonde pouted like a spoiled child. After that, however, maturity returned to her face, as she spoke quietly. "I swear on my honor I won't take any revenge on you if you refuse my offer. I just want you to... choose your own path."

"My path is yours, Master," she said. "Negi-sensei has Hakase-san and Hasegawa-san, and even Kasuga-san, but you only have me."

"Yes, yes, well, not like I actually need any help—"

"I care about your suffering, Master," Chachamaru quietly put a hand on her head. "I want to help you to reach your freedom, just like you have just done for me."

"Wh-who says I'm suffering?" Eva jerked back. "You got it all wrong, you idiot!"

"Excuse me."

"Okay," she agreed, way too quickly. "Never mind. You are forgiven."

"I only wish to ask for one thing in exchange for my continued services, please," the robot answered.

"What is it?"

"Never attack any of our classmates again, please. I will help you to drink enough of Negi-sensei's blood to break your curse, but please, don't hurt him either."

The undead mage smirked confidently. "You know I never kill women or children. Very well. I will humor you. I swear I won't attack any classmates of ours unless they attack us first. Does that satisfy you?"

"Affirmative. Thanks," Chachamaru bowed.

"It's all settled, then." Satisfied, Eva turned around and began walking away. "Let's head back home".

"Wait, Master," the robot softly pleaded.

She looked back at her. "And now what?"

Chachamaru pulled her spare rewind key from a pocket of her skirt and held it towards her. "Please?"

Eva smirked widely. "Oh. A quick screwing to celebrate our reconciliation? Lovely. I like it. Turn around," she asked, her voice silky and smooth.

With a placid expression, Karakuri obeyed, sitting down on the ground. Eva stood behind her and inserted the key in, deep and hard.

"OH!" the gynoid moaned. "MASTER! It's too rough!"

Eva giggled perversely. "You know I like it rough..." She gave it the first twist in.

"Oh, oh!" Chachamaru gasped. "You're... You swore you wouldn't get revenge on me..."

"Ah, ah, ah..." the Master sing-sang."I swore I wouldn't get even if you rejected me... I never promised being nice to you if you accepted me..." she purred, before continuing winding her up with renewed vigor, a small sadistic spark in her eyes.

"Oh, Master!" the gynoid shuddered, her metallic joints squeaking and protesting as much as her as she shook up and down. "OH! OH! MASTER!"

Afterwards, there was a long tense silence, eventually only broken by Eva asking herself a most puzzling question.

"Why do I wish for a cigarette all of a sudden?"

"There," Sakurako's smile took a warmer, softer and less hyper appearance as she finished tugging the little bands keeping Hakase's braids tied off, allowing her black hair to cascade down her shoulders. "You look much cuter with your hair long! Maybe in a ponytail, too..." the cheerleader commented, running her right hand's fingers thoughtfully through the shorter girl's ebony wet hair.

Satomi only managed to blurt an insincere "I'll think about it," out.

From where she quietly swam a few feet away, Chisame had to silently disagree. Hakase did look cuter with her hair made the usual way...

Wait, had she really just thought that? Ugh. Way too much sun, no doubt. Way too much sun.

Meanwhile, Negi was finishing his cookies while Ayaka watched him, oblivious to everything else, with a dreamy smile on her face.

"They were very good, Iinchou-san," he made a cute satisfied sound after it was over. "You really should have eaten a few, too".

"Negi-sensei..." Ayaka softly said.

"Yes?" he asked.

She handed him a small lotion bottle and turned around, then, with a blush, began unhooking her bikini top down. "Could you please rub some sunblocker on me? I can't reach all the way..."

Negi's eyes became huge totally white circles. "Wh-Wh-What? Iinchou-san! I possibly couldn't—!"

"Oh?" mercifully for him, she hooked her top back in before it was fully undone, then turned around again. "Ah, I understand. You don't know how is it done, do you? You come from a region with no beaches, after all. Don't worry! I'll do my best to teach you!" she beamed.

"The-There's no need for it, I—" the boy began to shake his head, but the blonde gently, yet firmly, laid him down facefirst into a nearby long beach chair, then knelt down over him, a leg at each side of his body.

"Just relax and enjoy..." she purred melodically."I'll be your dear big sister while you're here..."

"Uh, well, I don't know—" he shivered as her hands began to rub the lotion all up and down his back, massaging all the way from his shoulderblades to his ribs, and then along the spine. "Somehow, I don't think this is—this is—" he doubted.

"Oh ho ho ho!" Ayaka laughed. "Leave everything to me, Sensei. This is **your** day. If I'm going too rough, please do tell me..."

Her touch became softer, but also more teasing and playful, her soft hands roaming his back and massaging all the right points, plus a few ones he thought might be not so right at all. He had to admit it felt good, and yet... and yet...

Then he had a mild shock when her hands went perhaps a bit too low...

"NOT TOO ROUGH, BUT TOO FAR!" Asuna had suddenly jumped up from the pool to land with a kick straight on Ayaka's face, sending her stumbling a few feet away from their teacher.

Indignant, the heiress rubbed her now bright red left cheek. "KAGURAZAKA! WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS, YOU— YOU STUPID APE!"

"OJOU-SAMA!" Cisneros suddenly fell down from a tree's top, her eyes glinting madly behind her glasses, her teeth clenched, and with a black umbrella in a hand. "ARE YOU OKAY? JUST TELL ME THE WORD AND I'LL—"

"Stay out of this, Roberta-san!" angry enough to spare her the more formal last name treatment, Ayaka proudly humphed, standing straighter. "It's nothing I can't solve by myself!"

"I can't believe you!" Asuna yelled in her face. "We can't leave you alone for five minutes without you forcing yourself on the brat!"

"What are you talking about?" Ayaka yelled back. "I was doing nothing of the sort!"

"You were about to touch his butt!"

"No, I wasn't! I just was rubbing his lower back!"

"Not only you're a pedo, but a liar, too!"

Chisame warily looked at them, then even more warily to the towering maid with the web of bulging veins now on her forehead. For some reason, that woman gave a metric ton of terrifying vibes. Even her Mary Poppins umbrella looked **highly suspicious**.

"At least I'm not a lover of old men!" Ayaka furiously snapped.

"Takahata-sensei is not an old man! And what do you mean with 'lover', anyway?" the redhead growled.

"If you get offended, it's because there's something else to it than what I intended!" Ayaka fumed on her face.

"Okay, that's it!" Asuna threw the first punch. And it only went downhill from there.

A few moments later, both girls panted and huffed after reaching another stalemate; Negi stood at a side completely ignored and defeated once more, and Roberta was barely being held back by Minazuki, Siesta, Sebastian, Fubuki and Iglesias from behind. Chisame sighed and shook her head.

"Out of my house! Out of my sight! Out of my life!" Ayaka pointed away as she remarked every word to her nemesis.

"Okay! I don't need to be told twice!" Asuna spun on her heels, grabbed her clothes, and began stomping away.

Konoka breathed out, then made an apologetic smile at Ayaka. "Sorry about that, Iinchou. I guess you'll prefer being left alone..."

Ayaka's expression softened only a bit. "You don't need to go..."

"Forgive me" Konoka gave her a hug, then bowed. "Asuna-chan needs me, too. See you tomorrow, okay?"

She began walking after her friend, just as Sakurako walked over to Ayaka and gave her a tighter, stronger hug as well. "We all love you, Iinchou-chan" the shorter girl confided, before patting her shoulders down and following her other two oldest friends.

"I guess..." Satomi awkwardly pulled herself out of the water, "I guess we should leave as well..." She gave Ayaka a hopeful look up. "Can I keep the samples, please?"

The millionaire exhaled a sigh. "Yes, Hakase-san, you can."

"Thank you," she bowed clumsily, then took after Sakurako.

"Sensei," Chisame got closer to Negi, patting his head down slightly. "I'll go on ahead. You stay with Iinchou a while longer, will you? I'll be waiting for you at the gates."

"Yes," he obediently nodded.

"Iinchou," finally, Asuna made a brief stop and looked back at the blonde, now with a more subdued, nearly regretful, expression. "I'm sorry. Fine, maybe I overreacted. I'll grant today's victory to you, okay?"

The rich girl just blinked. "Asuna-san?"

"Bye," Asuna lowered her head and walked out of sight.

Before Ayaka could react, Chisame formally bowed to her as well. "Sorry for all the inconveniences. For what it's worth... I had a pleasant time here. You have a beautiful home" she had to admit.

"Hasegawa-san?" Ayaka said.

For the first time in her life, Chisame smiled at her, or something like that. It was tiny, uncomfortable and embarrassed, but at least it looked vaguely like a smile. "They are crazy, aren't they? I guess we have to learn how to cope with them..." She pushed her glasses up. "... Don't take it too badly on Kagurazaka. Actually, she... only wanted to make you feel better." She bit her tongue. "Ah, what the hell. Forget I said anything. Goodbye."

She walked away, giving Negi a brief look before disappearing from sight.

Ayaka stood wordlessly there, alone with Negi and the servants.

"Hasegawa-san's right," the boy softly said. "It was Kagurazaka-san's idea originally. She didn't think too much of it herself, but Konoe-san clung on it and got the ball rolling."

"Huh?" his student looked down at him.

"They... only wanted to distract you up. They said I could cheer you up. Sorry... It seems I have failed miserably..." he sulked.

"Don't say that," she knelt down to pass a hand over his left cheek. "You have made this the happiest anniversary I've ever had..."

"Iinchou-san, I..." his voice trailed off.

"They told you about the anniversary, didn't they?" she seriously asked.

He had to nod, reluctantly.

"Ever since that day..." she quietly mused, "I have had something inside of me that couldn't ever be replaced. That stupid Asuna. Thinking you could fill that void."

He was heartstruck at that unexpected statement, until, one second later, she gently kissed his forehead.

"... when, in truth, you are something completely different to me," she continued. "Just as important, if not more, but different all the same. Negi-sensei, you'll never be able to replace my brother, but you still mean the world to me."

Siesta wiped a tear off her right eye's corner.

Roberta only stared with a neutral face on.

"But they only have known each other for what? Three weeks?" Iglesias mumbled under her breath.

Minazuki was bawling her eyes off.

Fubuki grabbed Minazuki by an ear and began pulling her away. "Ojou-sama will want some privacy!"

"I concur," Sebastian directed the other maids away as well. "I believe we all have better things to do elsewhere, ladies".

Roberta nodded mechanically before following him. Her mind, however, was elsewhere. And at another time.

Back when she still was a newcomer to Japan, and the Yukihiros' second child was on the way.

* * *

><p>The first time Roberta had ever seen that little redhead girl was roughly a month after <em>el Señor Yukihiro<em> had officially hired her as domestic service. The child had been brought by Ayaka herself, in a move the Señorita would come to regret later, many times, to varying degrees of sincerity.

"This is my brother's room!" Ayaka had gleefully boasted as she guided her stonefaced friend into the reserved bedroom. She showed her every toy, the cradle and everything else with far greater fervor than she had used at describing her own room, and that was definitely saying something. "Dad says he's going to be a businessman just like him, but Mom says that doesn't mean he'll be away as much as Dad. I bet he's going to be a very handsome man, too!"

"Yeah," was all Asuna had to offer back.

For months, the young lady had been nothing but a constant whitewater of happiness given human form. She had strived even more at her studies and her Class Representative job. Blissfully ignorant of the first complications in the pregnancy, she continued having the happiest days of her young life. Roberta, however, knew, and that knowledge had been enough to push her back into her faith, a faith lost after so many years at the jungle, at the nonstop war. She had prayed for months, with a devotion even the worldly Yukihiros lacked. She had prayed and prayed for the hopes of the man who had given her a final chance when everyone else just aimed for her death.

God, as He most often did, had denied her requests. Perhaps, she believed, He still was paying her back over all those victims on her conscience.

But why had the young lady been forced to suffer as well? Far more than her, as a matter of fact?

"What... What do you mean I can't see him?" With huge watery blue eyes, she had looked up at her father that night at the clinic, gripping on the skirt of her gorgeous white dress, handpicked for the occasion. Her tiny hands trembled nervously, clawing at the cloth time after time.

Her father, for once, had given her the emotional support she needed. "I'm sorry, Ayaka," he crouched down to envelope her into a hug. Roberta watched from afar, feeling sensibility to the fact of death for the first time in long, long years. The Señorita's cries hurted her ears, but mostly her soul, despite all she had believed she had been used to it.

After that, the Señorita had retreated into the empty room for days, curled up and crying to no end. Sebastian's best attempts to reach to her had no effect. Neither Shiina and the Konoe girl's. At first, Roberta was convinced the Kagurazaka ruffian wouldn't place any better.

But then she had just kicked the Señorita in the head. "CHEER UP!" she had commanded, as brash and crass as ever. "**YOU** NEED TO LIVE!"

"ASUNA-SANNNN!" the Señorita had growled up, tears of rage replacing those of sadness. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!"

And the chase had been on, much to Roberta's shocked dismay.

"Wait until I get my hands on you, monkey!"

"You'll never catch this monkey, you snail!" the redhead dryly mocked her, and damn she was fast. Roberta was about to take after her to give her a few spankings, but Sebastian had managed to stop her.

"No, no," he had quietly said. "Leave them be. It's better this way".

Even now, however, she had problems following that advice. She never had been a forgetful or forgiving person, and the Kagurazaka girl still unnerved her almost as much as she did to her mistress.

* * *

><p>Roberta sat next to a window, with the jaded look of a stalking coyote, silently watching at her Ojou-sama (it had taken her more than two years to get used to replace 'Señorita' with that local term) talking with the strange, stupidly naive boy. Roberta fumed inside. She was grateful life hadn't put her in charge of a brat like him.<p>

"For years, she and I have clashed over everything..." Ayaka reminisced, with lingering tears in her eyes, looking at the distance. "We have completely different interests, likings and opinions. We compete at everything but academic matters, and you know what? She drives me crazy. She makes me to lose control of myself, to become as much of a violent maniac as her. I'm sorry... I can't control myself when she stings me, even before you. And today, you had to see such an ugly side of my personality".

"It's all okay," he reinsured her.

"No, it isn't," Ayaka rubbed her eyes. "I don't know what's about her... but she gets me every time. I'm half convinced she does it on purpose... or maybe she feels the same way about me. I only know... she's the only person who can touch me that way."

She sighed with a vacant smile. "I guess that says a lot about me, as well."

He grabbed her right hand, holding it up with a comforting smile. "It means you are closer than you both would be willing to admit."

She laughed shakily. "Oh, Negi-sensei! What a silly idea!"

* * *

><p>Half a hour later, he came out of the estate to meet Chisame, Satomi, Asuna, Konoka and Sakurako, all fully clothed now and waiting for them outside, as promised.<p>

"So, how's Iinchou now?" Asuna was the first one to speak.

He smiled. "She's fine now."

She smiled back. And Negi couldn't help but noticing it was the first time she ever had smiled at him. "Good job, then. Thank you! I owe you one."

"I told you you had a good idea there," Konoka teased her.

"Ehhhh!" Asuna waved her hands. "It was just a stroke of luck! Maybe some of Sakurako's is rubbing on me."

Hasegawa exhaled and looked at her wristwatch. "Alright, can we go back home now? It's getting kinda late."

"What if we all go shopping next week?" Sakurako quickly suggested. "I could bring Madoka-chan and Misa-chan, too!"

"Sounds good enough to me," Asuna agreed with a nod.

"I think it's an excellent idea!" Konoka clapped.

"Count with me, too!" Negi joined his voice in.

"I... I'll think about it," Chisame muttered warily. Were they trying to give her a social life of all things now? That was even more terrifying than Evangeline.

Hakase scratched the back of her neck in an awkward way. _"I... Well, I think I could use the chance to buy some new parts I'm in need of..."_ she whispered barely loud enough to be heard.

Now that made Chisame to take silent notice.

Again, however, she had chosen not to ask her roommate about it, not even when they split from the other girls and reached their apartment.

"I see Chachamaru has not returned from her pet duty yet," Hasegawa observed as they walked into the completely still and quiet dorm room.

"I still think we should have brought her with us," Negi said, and then looked around. "Weird, where's Chamo? Maybe he went with her?"

"Oh, no," Chisame shook her head. "Why do you think the little perv didn't go with us? I had to..." she reached into her desk and pulled a tied up and gagged Chamo out, "...take desperate measures before he made a mess at Iinchou's house."

"Erk! Chamo!" Negi rushed to untie his furry friend. "Hasegawa-san, you're mean!"

"I just did what I had to do," Chisame excused herself, rather dryly.

"You're not mean, you're evil, Chiucchi!" Chamo cried as soon as his mouth was free. "I'll bet you had tons of fun while I was trapped here!"

"Yeah, I guess," Chisame looked aside. "We even put on swimsuits and had a long swim".

"SWIMSUITS!" Chamo exclaimed.

"Shiina and Iinchou chose very tiny bikinis, too," Chisame droned. "Good thing no pervert was around to ogle at them."

"BIKINIS! TINY ONES!" the ermine began to cry, slamming his paws onto his own face. "WHY, CHIUCCHI? WHY?"

Then Satomi's cellphone rang. With a sudden hurry, Hakase picked it up and checked on the text message she had just gotten. Her eyes grew instantly wide in shock.

"Hakase-san?" Negi asked.

"Something wrong?" Chisame somewhat scowled.

_"It... It can't be..."_ the scientist's voice finally came out in a weak whisper.

"Now what?" Hasegawa fumed, looking over her shoulder, then to gasp at the unexpected content of the laconic text message.

_Hakase-san, Negi-sensei, Hasegawa-san_.

_Thanks for everything. But I must go back to the Master_.

_Sorry_.

_I left dinner ready for you at the kitchen_.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	6. Omnes Una Manet Nox

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Omnes Una Manet Nox<strong>.

* * *

><p>"Sensei," she poked him with a hand in the back of the head again.<p>

He only squirmed and mumbled incoherently, pulling the sheets tighter around his head.

"Sensei," Chisame insisted, poking him harder.

"I feel ill," he said without looking back at them.

"You are perfectly healthy," Hakase stepped in between them, her tone fully different from her habitual absent minded self. She was focused now, focused and angry. Angry enough to grab him by an arm and tug him out of the futon, startling even Hasegawa. "Where's that spirit you had when you first battled them?" she asked him. "We're going to reclaim MY creation, and I'm not going to take any more setbacks on it!"

Chisame actually gulped as she saw the normally soft spoken, gentle and distant scientist furiously stomping away to the table, to quickly stuff her mouth up with the breakfast as Negi moaned and waddled reluctantly for the bathroom.

None of them had slept well last night; it had taken everything Chisame had in herself to rein Satomi in from just going into Evangeline's cabin demanding for the return of her invention. Between that and attempting to control Sensei's now raging nerves, Hasegawa felt, now more than ever, the huge burden of being the glue holding what little sanity there was at her home together.

Sensei finally returned mildly well bathed and, as always, flawlessly dressed, now more in control of himself, but still morose and anxious. He barely ate anything at all despite Chisame's insistence, but that was okay with Hakase, who simply wanted to go out and look for Chachamaru at once.

"Come on, Sensei!" the black haired girl firmly grabbed him by a hand and pulled him out, dragging him behind herself. "There's no point on delaying this!"

"We can't face them like this..." he was protesting."Hasegawa-san, you tell her...!"

"He's right, you know, Sis," Chamo told her from his underwear drawer as Negi was taken away, and Chisame stayed behind just long enough to, for once, listen at him. "Even if she's powered down, from what I researched on her, the Dark Evangel is an enemy the Bro can't take on by himself! And from what you told me about that night, even you, Mad Scientist-Sis and Nun-Sis aren't of much help as you are now."

"Then what do you suggest?" Chisame sighed. "Do we ask for help from the other teachers?"

"NEVER!" the ermine cried. "If they learn you know about the Bro's status as a mage, he'll fall in disgrace for the rest of his life!"

"Well, what's the alternative?" the girl ran a hand through her hair, almost pulling it up.

"Make a Pactio with him!" Chamo commanded.

"Wh-What?" she recoiled. "Me? In one of those weird kissing things? With HIM?"

"You, Hakacchi and Misocchi!" the animal nodded. "To take such a pair of monsters down, the Bro will need all the firepower you three can supply him with!"

"Four versus two?" Chisame scowled. "Hardly fair terms..."

The ermine rolled a paw around. "As a matter of fact, I'm not even sure it will suffice with three of you."

"You got that right, at least," Chisame pointed out. "Neither of us are fighters. How do you expect us to get into a brawl with a vampire and a robot and survive? Why not to call in Chao? Or Ku Fei? Or Sakurazaki?"

Chamo brooded a bit. "They are the fighters of the class, right? I need to get more... intimate... I mean, familiar with the whole lot of you. I guess you make sense, but... here between us, the Bro doesn't want to get anyone else involved into this. I tried to convince him last night, but he can be that damn stubborn!"

He looked beggingly at her. "Please, Sis, think about it. Do you care about my Bro?"

She hesitated for a moment, her cheeks flaring in the faintest shade of pink, before being able to nod mechanically. "Yes. I... I do. In a simply humanitarian, basically pitying, manner!" the girl quickly added.

He smirked knowingly. "Yeah. Good. Anyway, then keep it in mind, will you? For his own good. Right now, we four are the only ones he can count on."

Chisame felt she had to nod before walking out and closing the door, but actually, she didn't like the chances Sensei had with only the four of them as help at hand.

She had to rush a lot to catch up to Hakase and Sensei at midway to the school. It was then when, as luck would have it, Misora had also raced out of nowhere to join them at a relatively lonely and private area of the road to the main Academy building.

"I got your text message," the sprinter looked at Chisame with haunted eyes and a pale face. "Is it true? They are together again?"

"Afraid so," Hasegawa grumbled.

Kasuga's spirits sank down even further. "We're dead. We're so dead."

"I'm sorry about dragging you into this..." Negi lamented, even forgetting to formally greet Misora.

"Nonsense!" Satomi humphed, her mood still spoiled. "Evangeline-san will have a piece of my mind about this theft! It's simply outrageous and indecent!"

"You know," Chisame started, "I'm actually starting to see a problem you've had with this since it all began."

"What problem?" Hakase asked.

"For you, it's always 'a theft of my property', 'my invention', 'my robot,'" the brown haired schoolgirl said. "I know I sound like an idiot saying this, but don't you think maybe you should start thinking of her a little more like an actual person?"

Satomi simply gave her a blank stare.

"Forget it," Chisame snarled. "I don't know what was I thinking."

"No, actually, it's a very good point," Negi seemed to have come a bit out of his funk after hearing that.

"... But she **is** a robot!" Misora protested.

Before the discussion could take a philosophical and existentialist twist Chisame had as much interest into as she was into swallowing razors, they all reached the Academy itself. They made their way towards the 2-A classroom with Satomi firmly taking the lead for once. Negi had grabbed Chisame's hand for support right behind her, and a completely nervous Misora was in the back of the quartet, sweating cannonballs.

Hakase, fully unafraid, flung the door open and saw...

* * *

><p>Much to Hakase's disappointment, Evangeline and Chachamaru were not there at all.<p>

"Good morning, Sensei!" the other girls all greeted Negi, standing up and saluting at Ayaka's signal.

"Good... Good morning, everyone," he weakly greeted back. At his side, Chisame breathed easier, and behind them, Misora seemed to have regained her color, not to mention her will to live.

Satomi, on the other hand, just puffed angrily, nearly stampeding her way to her desk.

"Hey, Prof," Misa asked her as she passed by next to her, "Why didn't you come with Chacham—"

"She went back to Evangeline!" Hakase fumed while her eyes narrowed viciously. And although she looked at no one in special, Misa was intimidated enough to refrain herself from further questions, and even Kazumi had just closed her mouth just when she looked like she was ready to ask something else.

Sakurako's large and round, curious, eyes met Satomi's for a second. Remembering the prior day's events, the scientist forgot her anger for an instant, but still lowered her head and averted her gaze clumsily while taking her chair.

Then some sort of dreading inspiration seemed to hit the genius, and she slowly turned her glare towards Chao. The Chinese girl smiled at her, but Hakase, for once, didn't smile back at all. She only kept a cold, accusing stare fixed on her for a few moments before looking back at the front of the class, and at Negi.

If anyone had bothered to actually look at Chao at that exact moment when her friend turned away from her, they could have seen the briefest flash of intense pain running across her features.

"Okay," Negi sighed. "Let's start on the text I assigned you this Friday. Mmmm..." It was clear his heart and mind were somewhere else, and his usual teaching enthusiasm just was not there. "Murakami-san? Could you please read the first four paragraphs?"

"Y-Yes," the brown haired freckled girl stood up with a gulp, before starting reading from her book in a stilted, wooden tone. Negi was not paying any attention to her lines anyway. His gaze kept on hovering over the classroom, vague and distant, looking almost sickly.

_What if Chamo is right?_ he wondered. _What if I really need to acquire a Partner? But it would be egoist from me, just to force anyone to fight for me... I wonder if any of them could be up for it..._.

_"Sensei's a bit weird today, ain't he?"_ Fuuka whispered conspiratingly.

_"Yeah, he looks sick again,"_ Yuuna said in the same tone.

_"I'll bet they don't feed him well at that dorm,"_ Madoka joined in.

_"Hush, you!"_ Ayaka silenced them.

After she was done with her reading, Natsumi waited for her evaluation, but Negi still said nothing. After a few moments of silence, she just felt she had to say, "Sensei? I already finished..."

"Oh! Oh, yes. Of course" he blinked. "A very good job, Murakami-san." He paused. "Errrr... F-Forgive me if this sounds weird to you, but... Do you have any experience on being a partner to anyone else?"

The class all went into sudden WTF Mode.

"Wha-What? Sensei!" the shy brunette gasped. "Well, I, um, I, er, no, well, I mean, no, never, but, um, ah, if you would, oh, mm, never mind, no..." Her mouth moved without making any sound for a few moments before she could say with a heavy blush, "No, I have never had any boyfriend!"

Negi jerked back, blushing as well. "N-NO! THAT ISN'T WHAT I MEANT!"

Kazumi chuckled. "Sensei, there's no need to be so shy! If you think you need someone else to live with, just say so! I have no roommate, for instance..." she giggled.

"N-No!" he quickly refused. "Um, I mean no offense, it's just I'm already happy where I am!"

"Then why have you just asked that?" Haruna pressed on.

"It was a social experiment," he lied. Chisame put a hand over her face.

"I'd accept being your partner at anything, whenever you want!" Ayaka jumped up at the chance. Her choice of the 'partner' word was a coincidence, but it still struck a chord with him. Maybe she was the right choice? After all, she was responsible, earnest, and she sure knew how to fight...

He reprimanded himself mentally. No, it was just wrong! Chamo had to be wrong, too! He couldn't keep on thinking about THAT...

"I... I think I need some fresh air," he excused himself, getting up. "Sorry, really. We'll continue later, okay? I'll call on Itoshiki-sensei so you can have your Literature lessons now..."

The boy rushed for the door, stumbled facefirst into its frame, and only then managed to walk out at a still unsteady and nervous pace.

"Sensei!" Chisame rose up from her seat, going after him.

"Wait a moment, Hasegawa-san!" Ayaka stopped her at the door. "Do you know what is happening to him?"

"Well, it's just he... He has something very important to do and needs someone to help him with it," the hacker invented a reply on the fly. "Excuse me, please," she slipped out of Ayaka's grip to continue going after their teacher.

The Class Rep fumed in disbelief. "That doesn't explain anything at all!"

"Fu, fu, fu..." Kaede chuckled. "The counselor needs our counseling, de-gozaru..."

Makie turned to look at Hakase. "Prof, can you explain... to... us...?"

The rest of the class looked in dread at the huge black cloud looming over the sulking Satomi's head.

"Maybe we'd better leave it at this for now," Akira suggested.

Misora sank down into her seat, thankful of being forgotten.

* * *

><p>Negi leaned forward with his hands firmly gripping the metal rail at the edge of the lonely rooftop. With his staff lying at a side and his head low, his hair fell over his face, obscuring it from sight for a long, long while, even when Chisame, Satomi and Misora finally found him there after classes.<p>

"Oh, here you are," the tallest of the three girls began to chastise him. "What was the great idea, disappearing like that? Did you think that was going to fix anything? I spent so much time looking for you, I missed two classes!"

"I'm sorry," he blandly said, without looking up.

"Hrmmm," Chisame grumbled, noticing he barely was paying any attention to her. She walked to his side, closely followed by the two other students, and offered him a sandwich. "You haven't even eaten yet, have you?"

"I'm not hungry," he said.

"Eat before we forcefeed it to you," Hakase humorlessly ordered. "If you want to work as an adult, then start acting as one. Moping like a scared child won't help anyone."

Kasuga made a disagreeing sound. "Moping like a scared child isn't that bad when there are motives for it!"

"I'm not scared!" Negi looked back at them.

"Yeah, right," Hasegawa snarked. "Look, I'm not going to nail you to a cross over it. I'm rather afraid of what's gonna happen myself. But maybe, if we stop cowering and think of something, we might—" she reluctantly started.

"Ah, ha ha ha ha!" a voice came from behind them. "You? What good could ever come from joining your pathetic forces together?"

They all looked around to see Evangeline and Chachamaru, clad in full school regalia, striding ahead to meet them. Misora backpedalled frantically, while Negi picked his staff up and assumed a fighting stance, shielding Chisame's body with an arm. Hakase, however, eluded the protection to charge ahead towards Chachamaru.

"You! I hope you realize you have several explanations to supply me with! And you!" she looked at Eva. "I expected better from you! I devoted months and months of effort and investments on Chachamaru! If you think I'm going to allow anyone to—"

"Step aside, insect," the blonde snarled icily at her. "God, I don't know how I could stand you for so long. Can't you see it? Chachamaru is with me because she wants to."

"That is correct, Hakase-san," the robot bowed as politely as ever. "I am highly sorry. But I cannot leave the Master alone."

"Don't say such nonsense," Satomi argued. "What has happened to your programming? Did she find some way to rewrite your personality?"

"My personality is still the same as before, Hakase-san" the gynoid softly replied. "The only actual change I went through was gaining full control over my own decisions."

"What? Overriding my directives?" Satomi blinked. "Don't be absurd. You are not qualified to reach that level of self development yet."

"Chao-san finished the Prometheus upgrade," the living mecha calmly answered.

Hakase's eyes grew wider. "It can't be. We had reached a dead end..."

"No, you thought you had," Chachamaru disagreed. "You never placed any hopes on it from the start. So Chao-san continued working on it by herself."

The scientist clenched her teeth. "Chao..."

"She did the right thing," Evangeline smiled. "Hah! For all your talk, you are nothing but a ragtag bunch of hypocrites. You never cared at all about Chachamaru's actual feelings, about her own decisions. All you wanted was someone at your side to keep me away from you..."

"That isn't true!" Negi energically protested.

Eva gave him a sardonic look. "Oh, you're such a bore. Luckily, I'm going to skip all your classes from now on. Yes, I can say this semester is going to be much easier with you as my teacher!"

Negi cringed back, as if his face had just been slapped.

"Dammit, Evangeline," Chisame groaned. "Now that was low. You didn't have to rub that on the brat's face..."

"As if I cared about your opinions," the vampiress turned her back on them. "I should smash you here and now, but I have no hurry. Your doom will befall you when you least expect it. Until then, suffer and despair over your failure! And if you ever try to tell Takahata or the old man about this, I'll feast on all the other bimbos before you can even blink! Keep that in mind, Boya, and jut get ready for your undoing!"

It was an empty threat due to her recent promise to Chachamaru, and both she and her assistant knew it. But she still loved to deliver such a menacing remark, so convincing, so harsh, so... evil! It reminded her so much of the old times it made her dead heart to feel a bit warm again.

Laughing that old evil, blood curling laugh (even if a bit rusty at this point), the Nosferatu walked down the stairs and out of sight, with Chachamaru devoting the others a brief final bow and a polite 'Farewell' before following her down.

When they were alone again, Chisame's heart finally slowed down enough for its beats to allow her to listen to Misora's clattering teeth. Hakase had just become a salt statue, and Negi was not faring better at all, with his face buried between his hands.

"Negi-kun!" the runner finally wailed in panic, grabbing him by a sleeve. "This is it! We must make a Pactio or we're dead meat! You just heard her! She won't stop until we're done!"

"As much as I hate to admit it... you could be right," Chisame numbly conceded. "Although I wonder if, even with powerups, we're up to the task."

"You're right!" Misora nodded quickly. "What if we convince Asuna to help? She's in great shape, and she's almost as fast as me..."

"I dunno," Chisame doubted. "We need someone smart as well, and Kagurazaka doesn't exactly fit the bill at all..."

"Don't tell me you are thinking of Bookstore-chan," Kasuga moaned. "She faints whenever a breeze hits her from a wrong angle!"

"Well, duh, but what about Iinchou? She's almost as strong as Kagurazaka, much smarter, and she can keep a secret. And she's so ga-ga over Sensei, she—"

"Chacha... maru..." Hakase babbled weakly then.

Finally, Negi let out a huge sob and shook his head. "No. No, I won't endanger anyone else ever again!"

"Sensei?" Chisame looked at him.

"Forgive me, please!" he begged, his eyes tearing up as he jumped into his broom and quickly flew up and away before anyone could stop him.

"Ah, wait! Haven't you been listening to what—!" Chisame slammed a foot down. "Damn crybaby! How can we help someone who's like that!"

"Sensei..." Satomi looked up at the graying sky, snapping out of her own distressed funk. "That was a great risk to take. What if someone sees him flying around the grounds?"

"That's the least of our concerns now!" Chisame pointed in the direction he had taken. "Over there, all there is are woods and hills, and that brat gets lost even at the bathroom! We must find him before nightfall!"

Misora ran a hand through her own hair. "God, give us strength..."

* * *

><p>As he flew high over the borders of the woods, getting further away from the Academy, Negi began wondering if he hadn't just made another mistake. The looks on the girls' faces when he fled tugged on his heartstrings. But it was for their own good, wasn't it?<p>

As long as he was with them, all of them would be a target for Evangeline's revenge. For fifteen years, she had not attacked her classmates, until he came along. And he already had further endangered Hasegawa-san, Hakase-san and Kasuga-san more than enough. No one else would have to suffer because of him.

It was starting to rain, the tiny cold droplets hitting his face and melding with some tears.

_In any case, I can't keep on running away forever... _he thought. _Maybe I should return to Wales; that way she'll forget me for good. I'm not that good a teacher anyway..._

His sister's face seemed to flash into his mind then. He remembered her words of encouragement, her kind support, her high hopes for him. And then there was Anya, promising to do her best at London, making him to swear to not stay behind. To never fear.

He shuddered as the cold became a thick blanket of water hammering down on him. Was the correct thing now to fear, or not to fear? Should he bet on a showdown when his students' safety was in risk? Who was he to decide that?

The wind grew stronger, throwing his flight slightly off balance. Still, he wouldn't stop brooding, barely keeping his mind into his flying.

_No, wait,_ the boy reminded himself. _Remember what Chachamaru said. Once Evangeline-san sets her mind on revenge, she never lets it go... and she swore revenge on the girls, too! If I'm not there, who will protect them? I'm a fool... I must get back there!_

He turned the staff around with a sudden twist of his hands, but the abrupt U-Turn, coupled with the sheer force of the latest burst of wind, made him to lose balance and to crash against the top of a pine. With a yelp, his vision obscured, he fell from his staff and plummeted down to the ground, vainly trying to grasp for something to break his fall.

"HELP!" he yelled, right before falling into the raging waters of a river below. The currents shook him around like a doll, before he finally could swim his way to shore, coughing up and wet from head to toes.

He struggled back to his feet, leaning against a tree's trunk, hugging his own body and trembling. "Whu-Where am I?". He looked around, "Oh no! And my staff! Where's my staff?"

He began looking for it, stumbling under the rain, his feet waddling in the mud. The staff was nowhere to be seen, not between the bushes, not under or besides any rocks, not caught into any branches at sight.

"Mea Virga!" he called out. "Mea Virga!"

With no results. Had he even lost his magic? He remembered the Magus' teachings, to control his mind before casting a spell, but the stress was simply too much for him to allow him a clear thinking. He just continued panicking, feeling around for his treasure, calling for it until his voice went hoarse.

And then there were howls in the distance. Wolves? Were there wolves in that area? It only added to his fear, spurring him to aimlessly wander around deeper into the forest.

"Help!" he cried. "Sister! Chamo! Hasegawa-san! Father!"

He knew it was useless, but he was just too scared to care. He only wanted to be found and saved, to be rescued and protected, to be—

"FATHER-!"

He slipped and fell on his face into the clay-like ground, whimpering to himself. He didn't even have the strength or the will to stand up. He only stayed there for a few moments, cursing his luck, until he heard steps near him. Maybe they were the wolves. Or Evangeline. Maybe it was his fate. If so, he would accept it.

"Look, Shiho." He heard an even, stern voice. "I told you I had heard screams."

That made him to lift his face up, his eyes gaining a sudden revived spark of hope.

Before him, tall and imposing despite being just as soaked as him, Tatsumiya Mana stood carrying a large backpack on her, and a rifle in a hand. Right behind her there was a short redhead girl carrying an even larger backpack, stiffled under its weight, sneezing and groaning to herself. Her hair had been arranged into four tentacle-like pigtails which now hung down half-undone over her shoulders.

"T-T-Tatsumiya-san!" he sprang back to his feet and enveloped his pupil's waist in a desperate tight embrace, burying his tearful face against her stomach. "Thank God...!"

"Sensei," she simply said, emotionlessly.

The younger girl gave him a dismissive look. "So this is the famous child teacher, huh? I must say I was thinking about something better..."

* * *

><p>"Over here" Mana instructed while guiding the two younger minors through the rainstorm and up the hill, leading them into a small dark cavern. "I have used this cave before. We should be safe here."<p>

Negi and Shiho shuddered as they walked in, leaving a wide trail of water behind themselves. The small redhead finished undoing her messed pigtails up, allowing her hair to cascade around freely. "I-I'm so cold..." she whined.

"Yes, me too... Munakata-san, wasn't it?" the boy nodded, crouching down to hug himself tightly. "i think we need a bonfire... I'll go out for some wood and—"

"Like I said, I sometimes use this cave while I'm scouting this area," Mana calmly strode towards the deep end of the dark place, kneeling next to a huge box stashed there and pulling out several pieces of wood from it. "It always pays to have some safety measures stashed for a patrol gone wrong, Sensei."

"Oh! That's good. Very... well thought," he helped her to gather the wood around and light the bonfire up with his pocket lighter. He held his hands up over it, smiling at the newfound warmth. "Ahhh. I feel so much better now..." Then he sneezed. It was only a small sneeze; barely enough to waver the girl's clothes around, but it still put the fire out. "Gah! Sorry!"

"What a freak weather we're having," Shiho looked out the cave. Mana sighed and restarted the fire with her own lighter before feeling Negi's shirt up.

"Get undressed," she told them both.

Both youngsters reacted with a startled jump back. "WHAT?" they chorused.

"I'm not kidding," Tatsumiya deadpanned, deadly serious, while starting to pull her soaked white hakama shirt over her head. "Sensei, you have just recently come out of a cold, haven't you? Your body defenses must be still low, and you'll suffer a worst one if you don't get dry soon. As for you, Shiho, you start coughing for three weeks after taking a cold shower for too long. You know it's true."

"I-I'll be okay, really!" Negi began to wave a hand around. He looked aside, since Mana's chest was barely being covered by a few thick bandages barely holding her large round breasts, and she was undoing those very same bandages now without any care in the world.

"Oneesama, he's a boy!" Shiho made a suffering face, pointing with both hands at him. "You can't really expect me to strip in front of him!"

Mana gave her a blank stare. "Like you said, he's only a child. He won't even mind."

"I do!" Negi spouted off, quickly turning around with a heavy blush as Mana tossed the bandages aside. "I mean, I do care about not betraying anyone's right to intimacy! I'll sleep outside under a tree if you really need to—"

"Oh, stop playing around" Merely annoyed, Mana forcefully grabbed him and began to tug his shirt and tie off. "This is not a matter of prim prudishness! It's about practicality at the battlefield! Do you want to fall ill and cause Hasegawa and Hakase more problems?"

"Ahhhh! Ehhh! No, no, stop that!" he squirmed. "I'll promise I'll do it myself, but please let me go!"

"You just gave your word on it," Mana let him go, only to pounce on her kouhai immediately afterwards. "You too, Shiho! This isn't the first time you've done this with me!"

"Aiiieee!" the petite girl shrieked. "No, Oneesama, no! I'll do it too, but don't—!" she protested as the tall girl overpowered her, stripping her down at a very fast rate. "And your phrasing of that last sentence could have been better!"

Negi's face was as red as a tomato as he finally sat down reduced to his boxers, still not looking at them. But Tatsumiya grabbed him again and yanked the wet underwear off as well. "These must go out, too."

"Ahh, no!" he was fast to press his hands over his crotch. "Have some mercy, please!"

From where she sat fully naked with her back equally turned to them, looking at the exact opposite direction, Munakata pouted and flushed scarlet. "Oneesama has never been known for her mercy!"

"Honestly, what pair of babies," Mana dryly disapproved, pulling her own pants down, then opening the girls' backpacks and looking into them for blankets. However, too much water had leaked into most of them, rendering them useless for the time being. Finally, she found the largest and thickest one of the bunch still was dry enough, making her to nod. "This will have to suffice."

She forced Shiho to turn around, sitting her down, and then pushing Negi into a sitting position on the redhead's lap, so he couldn't look at her but she could look down at him. Then the tanned female carefully wrapped the blanket over them. "I'll join you in a minute," she said.

Negi's mind had just been too broken to think of a proper reply, but Shiho still could yell defiantly. "WH-WHAT THE HELL, ONEESAMA! DO YOU WANT TO RENDER ME USELESS FOR MARRIAGE?"

"We'll need to share body heat for the night," Mana clinically analyzed while walking around to gather the discarded wet clothes and hang them on rocks around the fire. "So hold him tight. That's an order".

Shiho fumed madly. "You mistake me for a... for some sort of perverted nanny!"

"Just do it," her sempai shot her enough of a murderous glare to instantly subdue Shiho into pressing Negi's back against her front. "Better."

Negi was already feeling hot-faced enough for the next three years. He nearly was blowing steam out of his ears. By walking around in all directions, Tatsumiya was giving her more viewing of naked female flesh than he ever had seen before, even including his brief glimpses of Chisame after a sneeze. Then he remembered he could just close his eyes, and he did it as tightly as he could, but he was sure the mental images of what he had just seen would never go away.

Mana then sat right behind Shiho, pulling part of the blanket over herself as well, and hugging both youngsters against her body. Shiho blushed at the feeling of those large globes pressed against her back, but at the same time, it calmed her down to some degree. That and the soothing sensation of her sempai's long legs enveloping her, framing her thin figure up.

The three sat in silence next to the fire for a few moments, experiencing how the warmth slowly returned to them. Until Negi finally could speak again, and he chose to ask a question to distract his confused mind.

"Um, Tatsumiya-san... Why were you here after classes, anyway?"

"We were called for a hunt," Mana replied without missing a beat. "We received reports an 'Orphan' had just breached through the Mahora district's barriers, and we came to destroy it before it reached any populated area".

"An orphan?" the teacher asked.

"They call him 'Orphans' because they have no known origin," the tall student answered. "No one knows what are they, or why are they here, but some believe the World Tree attracts them. They are savage creatures who attack anyone on their path; however, only a few of us can see and hear them. It's our duty as Mikos and protectors of Mahora to eliminate them before they harm our peers. We were on the hunt for it when the rainstorm started".

"So that thing... is still out there?" Negi asked.

"Yes. But it's useless to look for it under these conditions," the 2-A student nodded stoically. "We'll have to restart the search at dawn".

"So you will skip classes tomorrow?" the teacher frowned.

"I'm afraid so. Sorry," she didn't sound apologetic.

He sighed. "I guess I might have to skip them as well..."

"And what were YOU doing here?" Shiho questioned him.

"I—" Negi's voice trailed off.

"Did you fight with your roommates?" Mana asked.

"No! It wasn't that. I was just... afraid of something, and ran out. I'm an idiot," his head sank down. "They must be dead worried about me, and I can't even call on them... to tell them I'm okay. I think I lost my cellphone when I fell from my— when I arrived here."

Shiho looked like she wanted to ask more, but Mana stopped her placing a finger over her lips, softly.

"Sensei," the tall girl said. "It's okay to be afraid at your age. I was afraid when I was an apprentice, too. And Shiho STILL is afraid all the time..."

"ONEESAMA!"

Mana chuckled, then ran her fingers softly over Negi's cheeks, making him to shiver. "Sensei, to overcome your fears, you must start by believing yourself, and those who stand next to you. Open yourself to those who care about you instead of trying to do everything by yourself. You're still young, so you will need a lot of help for now... and even so, we all need help to some level or another for most of our lives. Even I need Shiho's help."

"That's nice for you to admit for once, Oneesama," the redhaired one scoffed haughtily.

The tall beautiful girl rocked them back and forth in her embrace. _"Sleep well,"_ she whispered. _"You'll need the rest."_

"O... Okay. Thank you very much," Negi attempted to relax enough to catch some sleep. Much to his surprise, it was easier than he thought. The day's events had left him so tired, even his embarrassment was not enough to keep him awake as soon as he attempted to lie back onto the naked Mikos. He was soundly asleep before he even knew it had stopped to rain.

He woke up briefly, what he roughly guessed was two hours or so later. The sounds of rain had stopped, but the night breeze coming from outside still felt chilly. However, he continued feeling warm and comfortable, surrounded by Mana's arms. The lead Miko was still awake, with a neutral face on, absently looking out into the night.

However, Shiho made diminutive snoring sounds, with her chin resting on Negi's left shoulder, and her mouth lightly drooling until it dripped into his chest. She mumbled in her dreams, seemingly very content and giggling at random intervals.

"Mmmmm... Tate-Oniichan... Oneesama... Mmmmmmm... No, you mustn't... Mmmmmmm... Mmm, Shiho's a luck grrrl..."

Negi began to sweat cold again. Instinctively, he decided to just run away for home if she started glomping around.

He also wondered exactly WHAT were those two hard tiny things poking at his back now.

* * *

><p>"Tatsumiya-san," he finally spoke again, rather stiffly.<p>

"Hm?" his student hummed keeping her eyes half-closed.

"I think I need... to go to the restroom, if I may use the expression," he timidly said.

"There's a whole forest out there. Just don't wander too far," Mana spoke with apparent indifference.

He couldn't help blushing again. "Okay..." he gulped before drawing courage in, covering his lower parts with his hands again, and standing up carefully in a way that would not wake Shiho up, and running out of the cave in a rather comical fashion. Mana almost felt tempted to chuckle. Truly, he was still only a child.

The girl in her arms squirmed. "Oneesama..." she sleepily muttered.

The older Miko calmed her down back into a deeper sleep by softly caressing her unbound hair.

Negi stopped a few feet out of the cave and positioned himself standing behind a tree. He exhaled a long sigh as he relieved himself. For a few moments he felt at peace with the universe, briefly unconcerned about his nudity in the chilly wilderness alone with two girls, until he heard a faint grumble at his feet.

He looked down, startled. A large glowing red circle had just appeared at the small patch of now wet grass before him, and something was poking a huge grotesque head out of it. Negi backed away, clenching his teeth.

The head was gray and insectoid, with two short and stubby hornlike antennae. It was armed with pincer-like jaws, and it also had two shiny oval scarlet eyes. The animal continued pulling itself out of the circular portal, dragging more than four feet of thick and bulbous centipedesque body up, waggling several pairs of short and robust legs around.

It looked straight at the boy, as if measuring him up and down for a few seconds. Then it roared.

"Tatsumiya-san!" Negi jumped up and made a frantic beeline straight into the cave. "We have to get out of here!"

"Huh?" Shiho blinked, lifting her head up, then flushing like crazy and covering her eyes at the sight of the boy bursting in. "Kyaa! Cover yourself, you little perv!"

"Ah, ah, sorry!" Negi quickly remembered his nudity and pressed his hands back over his privacy.

Mana, however, did not care. She was too busy already reaching into her backpack and pulling two handguns out, taking one in each hand. "Shiho!" she sternly instructed. "Forget that! The 'Orphan' is here!"

"The 'Orphan'?" the apprentice peeked in between her fingers, only to gasp at the vision of the gigantic critter at the entrance of the cavern, attempting to force its way in, chomping at the air while trying to squeeze itself inside. "Gahhh!"

Tatsumiya, fully unconcerned about her disrobed state, opened fire on the antennaed head. However, other than making the thing to howl, the bullets seemed to have little effect, not even drawing blood out.

"Shiho! The flute!" Mana yelled again.

"O-On it, Oneesama!" the redhead wrapped the blanket around herself as best as she could, then raced towards her own backpack. Negi had made a desperate run for his own clothes, looking for his magical wand, but Shiho pushed him aside before he could grab it. "Out of my way, you brat!"

She put her hands on a flute and started to play it. It was a hauntingly sad tune, not unpleasant for Negi, but very unsettling all the same. However, it did make the 'Orphan' to recoil in apparent agonic pain, shaking and scratching the ground with its feet. Mana made a bullseye on one of its eyes, blowing it off in a shower of gore. Expertly, she kept on shooting as the music continued, causing more and more damage to the beast.

Negi was amazed. Then his awe turned to fear when he saw the monster spitting a thick glop of green at Shiho, forcing him to tackle her out of its path. "Look out!"

"Kya!" she lost her balance and fell on her back, with him falling on top of her. Quickly, she pushed him off herself, blushing heavily, not really noticing the acidic, burning spot the liquid had left at the spot where she had been seconds before. "No! You... Look out!" she pushed him aside in turn, both of them barely dodging the next spit of acid. "Geez, that was a close one!"

"Tha... Thank you!" he stammered, grabbing onto her for support.

"Shiho! Keep it going!" Mana quickly reloaded, then kept on shooting. "We almost have it now!"

"Yes, Oneesama!" her kouhai put her lips back on her flute and kept on playing, making the monstrosity to crouch down in abject pain. Mana stepped closer; putting a few more bullets between its eyes, before it finally slumped down with a thud. The beast shook wildly in a few final death rattles, then stopped moving at all.

Tatsumiya waited for a few more moments, and only after she was reasonably sure it had died, she poked it with a bare foot. No reply.

Wearily, she looked back at the two youngsters behind her. "Are you two okay?"

Shiho only nodded wordlessly.

"Y-Yes" Negi stuttered. "We... We are..." Then he remembered that was Tatsumiya-san's bare (and very shapely) behind he was looking at, and quickly averted his gaze again. "S-Sorry!"

Mana turned back to face him, still not showing shame (but showing everything else). "Sensei, you really need to stop being so prudish" she dryly opined.

Shiho passed a hand over her own face. "For the love of the Kami, Oneesama, just cover yourself up." She then looked at Negi. "By the way, how could you see the 'Orphan'? Do you have some kind of gift of your own?"

"Ah, ah, uh, no, not that I know of," he lied.

Mana patted his head down. "Well, you know you have one now," she chuckled. "That was an 'Orphan' in action. I'll bet you never saw anything like it before, huh? Not anyone can see them, much less to kill them. Even I couldn't do it without Shiho's powers to aid me."

The apprentice grinned proudly.

"That almost makes up for how much of a weight she is at everything else," Mana finished.

"ONEESAMA!" the smaller girl shrieked, her temper soured.

Negi looked up at Mana's eyes with newfound respect. She was so strong, so brave, so determined. "Tatsumiya-san..." he breathed.

"Yes, Sensei?"

His lips trembled. "W-Would you like to be my... my...?"

"Heeeeeyyyyy!" Shiho caught his neck in a painful grip. "Watch where are you going, brat! You aren't in any age to ask THAT from Oneesama!"

Mana nearly laughed. "I don't think that's what he meant, Shiho!"

She put a hand over his right cheek. "Sensei, you have people around you that can be of more help to you than me. Look closer around yourself, and you'll find what you look for. Trust your friends. Because I have devoted myself to another path in life."

"Uh? Oh... Yes. Of course," he dumbly nodded.

"And besides, my services aren't cheap. I doubt a teacher's salary could pay my continued employment as a bodyguard," the tall mercenary pointed out.

"She's right," Munakata nodded her agreement.

"Still, because you are my teacher, I will give you some free advice," Mana cautioned him. "To succeed, you must find your inner focus. Control yourself before you can control your abilities. To work properly, your mind must be at peace with itself. Master your own emotions and you can master anything else as well."

He kept on looking at her eyes. Mainly to avoid looking further down. "I... I'll remember that!"

"Good" Mana seemed satisfied. "However, who knows? Maybe someday, you'll be able to... guarantee my reward for my services..."

Shiho sniffed. "Why does that 'Orphan' smell of urine?"

Negi sweatdropped. "Ahhh, I guess that's another unexplained mystery...?"

* * *

><p>He reopened his eyes as the very first rays of light filtered into the cave, signaling the arrival of the dawn. Negi sat up and moaned rubbing his eyes, then looked back at the girls. Mana seemed to sleep with Shiho definitely well asleep, supporting her head onto the taller's girl bosom.<p>

Blushing again, he scrambled to look elsewhere, fumbling around until he found his now dry clothes. He put them back on and sighed, pulling a pen and a piece of paper out.

_Thank you for Everything. I'll be okay_, he wrote before leaving the note at their right.

Then he walked outside, breathing very deeply. He closed his eyes and remembered Mana's advice. To find his own balance. To channel his own power. To master his own magic. Calm. Serenity. Concentration.

He lifted his right hand up and called again, with an even and soft voice. "Mea Virga".

And he could feel it, poking like a gentle needle at the back of his mind. He sensed the power of his inherited treasure, calling out for him just as he called out for it. He commanded for it to come. And it did.

In a whoosh of swift air, almost booming, the staff came flying from the woods and into his waiting hand. He caught it easily and smiled at it before mounting it. As they started to float up, he gave a final fond glimpse at the cave. In a way, they vaguely reminded him of his sister and Anya.

"Thank you, girls," he whispered before taking up.

Munakata Shiho squirmed and groaned, opening her eyes lazily as she felt the lack of contact with Negi's body. Absently, her gaze looked around for him until she gasped, seeing him with his back turned to them and flying away riding a wooden staff. She was about to shriek, but then found Mana's right hand firmly covering her mouth from behind.

"Silence," her Sempai icily commanded.

Shiho nervously nodded as the boy vanished from sight, and only then her mouth was released. She anxiously looked back at her Oneesama, her eyes demanding for an answer.

"You won't tell about this to anyone. Not even to Tate Yuuichi," Mana strictly instructed.

"But—"

"No buts."

"O-Of course not, Oneesama! But— But—"

"Yes" the older girl nodded. "He is a mage."

Shiho looked up at the sky, amazed. "Oh...! I knew mages existed, of course, but I never had seen one!"

"You have met several, several times," Tatsumiya shrugged. "They don't flaunt it around."

Shiho scowled. "I suppose you won't tell me who are they?"

"You suppose well."

"Itoshiki-sensei is one of them, right? No way that huge dark aura belongs to a normal human..."

"Think whatever you want," Mana dismissed callously.

Shiho pouted and looked down, but then her Sempai ran a hand through her red hair.

"Shiho, you are special as well, in your own way," she softly told her. Her hand briefly moved a lock of thick hair up, allowing her to see the small mark on Shiho's upper forehead again. "You just aren't ready yet to get the full picture, and neither is he. Continue your training, and perhaps, sooner than you think, I will share my secrets with you."

The smaller girl hugged her. "Thank you, Oneesama."

"Hmm. You're welcome." She relaxed back, petting her head and closing her eyes.

Getting dressed and going for breakfast could wait for a while.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Negi flew back towards the Academy, speeding as much as he could, hoping to reach his dormitory in time for a shower, a breakfast, and some much needed apologies he had to offer. However, he stopped upon seeing three human figures stalking through the forest below. With a gasp, he zoomed down to meet them.<p>

"Hasegawa-san! Hakase-san! Kasuga-san!" he called. "Are you okay?"

Chisame looked up with wide eyes. "Sensei!"

All three of them were carrying large backpacks and clad in exploring fatigues, he noticed while landing before them, bowing profusely. "I'm very sorry! I shouldn't have done that! I regret causing you so many concerns!"

Chisame punched him in the head. "You should, you stupid brat!" she fumed madly, sniffing as if she had been sneezing or crying, or both. "We were wandering around for hours, fearing for the worst! Why must you be so problematic?" She checked his face and neck. "You okay, idiot? Didn't you run into them?"

Misora gave him a hug. "Ha, ha, I knew you'd be okay, you little fool!"

Hakase sighed. "Weren't you the one crying the most about how we would find his corpse after a week?"

Misora shot her a killer glare. "Just because you have no emotions, it doesn't give you the right to exaggerate mine!"

Negi stared at all of them, deeply moved. "Girls... You ventured into the wild all alone, with Evangeline-san on the loose... just to protect me...?"

"Yeah, we... aren't too bright either" Chisame reluctantly growled. "And Iincho would fry us alive if anything happened to you."

"Sensei," Satomi spoke clearly. "We have reached a decision, too. To help you to deal with the current situation, we will... errr... engage into... no, that is not quite the right term... we will... we, we will..."

Misora chuckled nervously. "Well, you know! It's the best thing for everyone, yeah... Assuming you want to do it..."

"You mean..." he blinked.

Chisame put her hands on his shoulders and blushed as she growled in frustration. "Yes, yes, you moron! What else could we mean? We're going to do that retarded 'Pactio' thing with you, okay?"

Slowly, he smiled with an expression of renewed confidence, and then nodded only once.

"Okay!" he said.

* * *

><p><em>The next afternoon, this happened:<em>

Cocone watched quietly, sitting at her bed's edge, her bare feet hanging down. After coming back from classes, Misora had started prettying herself, which was quite unlike her. It was noticeable in the way she clumsily powdered her face off, overdoing it.

Finally, the little girl walked off the bed and extended a hand towards her friend, without saying a word. She didn't need to. Understanding immediately, Kasuga sheepishly handed her the makeup kit and held her own face still before her roommate. "Thanks," she whispered.

Cocone said nothing, but started carefully applying the makeup on her friend's face, correcting her mistakes. Misora wondered where she had learned that; she was only a child, and she never had used makeup herself. But she still was as competent at it as she was at almost everything else. She was over soon; it had been a light job, proper for a sister in training's face. Not spectacular or particularly eye catching, but Misora herself preferred it that way, nodding as she looked at her image in the bedroom's mirror.

"Thanks again," she repeated, fondly petting the smaller girl's black hair.

Cocone spoke then. Almost impossible to hear, as always.

"Where are you going?"

A brief sigh. "I told you before, Cocone-chan. Out with some friends from 2-A."

The younger sister lowered her head, and then, even more unusually, she spoke anew, this time to ask for a favor. An uncanny rarity on itself.

"Can I go with you?"

Misora hesitated visibly, nearly biting her tongue before it betrayed her in any way.

Cocone just looked at her with those inexpressive, yet deep and alluring eyes of her, for a few tense moments before looking away, heading back towards the bed. "It's okay."

"W-Wait, Cocone-chan," Misora gasped. "It's not like I don't want to bring you. It's just, well, um, it's a thing between... older girls. You, ahhhh... would get bored."

Cocone simply nodded in a sparse fashion as she sat back on the bed.

Misora ran a hand over her own face. "Look, I know I have spent far too long apart from you lately. I'm sorry. I'll make up for it later, I promise. It's just... I've had other things to do lately."

The little girl nodded understandingly. "Since he arrived," she flatly whispered.

The sprinter's eyes sprang wider.

Then, slowly, defeated, she lowered her head back. "Drat, why can't I ever hide anything from you?" she lamented.

Cocone balled a tiny fist up and softly gave her a vacant knock on the head.

"Enjoy your date," she adviced.

"IT ISN'T A DATE!"

* * *

><p>Chisame sighed for the fifteenth time that afternoon as she finished adjusting Negi's tie.<p>

The boy already was losing his confidence from the prior day as the fateful hour approached. Truth be told, she couldn't blame him that much. She also had those annoying butterflies wrecking havoc in her stomach; she only hoped they were the butterflies of fear over doing something stupid, immoral, illegal and completely wrong, and not butterflies of... anxiety about... the imminent act of close physical contact itself.

Even the normally unflappable Hakase seemed uncomfortable and tense while attempting to tie her pigtails back after her shower. Wearing a blue bathrobe and slippers, she sat before the bedroom's mirror with a distinctly troubled expression on her face.

A girl's first time must be important, Misora had said. A Pactio, even a probationary one, can't be done so lightly, Misora had said. Idiotic Misora, what could she know about kisses? Now she had forced it all to blow out of proportion. It could have been short and to the point, a brief bitter step solved in a matter of minutes, but no, now they had to stage it as if it were a gorramn romantic date. With a snot nosed brat.

The freaking ermine was the only one who looked happy, gleefully hopping around picking several chunks of chalk up. "Hurry up, Chiu-chi! The sooner this is done, the better, don't you agree?" he giggled evilly like a schoolgirl on helium. Or Haruna in an average day. It was pretty much the same thing.

"SHUT UP OR I SWEAR I WON'T DO IT!" Chisame threatened.

Negi seemed to jump on the chance. "W-We don't have to do it if you don't want so!"

Hasegawa shook her head. "You moron, didn't we talk about that long and hard yesterday?" She started combing his hair carefully. "It's not like we have an alternative, right? We have to do what we must to survive"

"Th-There must be another way..." his voice cracked. "There's always another way..."

"And I doubt Evangeline is going to stand still while you find it," Chisame reminded him. "We have no idea on when will she strike, remember?"

"Actually," Satomi piped in "the reports of all previous attacks show they happened on full moon nights. It would seem her metahuman abilities are somehow linked to the lunar cycles. We still are a full week away from the next full moon, so we should be safe until then... but then again, I find no comfort on fully relying on that theory," she admitted.

Chisame nodded as she finished taming Negi's hair. "It's better this way, I suppose."

Then she turned her attention towards Satomi. "Hakase, I'm done with Sensei here. Now let me help you with your makeup."

Satomi looked at her with hugely wide eyes. "Makeup?"

Hasegawa scowled, sitting down before her and grabbing a pink lipstick up. "We'll look like idiots before that nun if she shows up looking better than us, won't we? Good Lord, a nun..."

"I believed you never cared about others' opinion regarding your appearance in real life…" Satomi weakly protested, trying to worm herself out as Chisame grabbed her by a cheek, keeping her still in place, then starting to softly run the pink shade over her lips.

"Hush," her roommate silenced her "I'll be over soon. It won't take more than one minute. I have experience. And... there's nothing wrong about a girl prettying herself every once in a while..."

Chisame paused for a moment, silently musing to herself, before uncomfortably adding in an attempt to calm the scientist down, "And... you are very pretty, you know. If you only dressed better and took care of your looks..."

"Don't mock me, please," Satomi tried to avert her eyes. "I know I'm not esthetically appealing."

"At least you don't have zits," Chisame muttered, stopping her task, mildly satisfied with the results.

"At least you aren't flat," the black haired girl patted herself over the breasts.

Chisame made a pause. "... Point," she conceded.

"Not like I care at all about it, of course," Hakase went on, "Such things only get in the way of my personal interests."

"You two are very pretty," Chamo chuckled on.

"Shut up," Chisame told him.

"It's true!" He turned to Negi. "Come on, Bro, you tell 'em!"

"Eh? What? Me?" His hands instinctively moved into a shielding position before his body. "No! It, It would be improper!"

The animal made a small annoyed sound. "Bro, it's only an innocent way to show you care! The only improper thing in a situation like this is not complimenting the ladies on their looks. A gentleman is always ready to make them feel at ease about themselves! It's rude not to do otherwise!"

"Oh dear!" Negi gasped aloud. "Sorry! It's true!" He bowed before his students. "I didn't mean to offend! You two are very pretty!"

_"And sexy,"_ Chamo helpfully whispered to him.

"Yes, and se-" Negi stopped himself in the last second. "Chamo!"

Both girls looked at them in dumbstruck silence for a few moments, with a very pale shade of pink running over their features. Then Chisame slammed a foot down on the ermine, and pushed him and the boy out of the room. "You'd better wait outside while we finish here!"

After she slammed the door on their backs, Negi sighed slumping down into a couch. "Nothing good will come out of this..."

"You only need to learn how to treat women, that's all" Chamo was confident. "They like men who aren't afraid to grab the horse by the reins and tell them what they think."

The kid fidgeted around. "Well, I think maybe we shouldn't be doing this after all..."

"You think wrong!" the furry thing protested. "You told me even that Mana girl has told you to trust yourself and your partners more! Do you think your Dad got that far in life by brooding and doubting?"

Negi perked up at that. "But- But that's different!"

"Different, nothing!" Chamo puffed on a cigarette. "It's all about taking the chances life gives you, and not complaining when those chances involve kissing pretty girls!"

"Uguuuu..." Negi groaned. "It's just I think we aren't ready yet..."

"Was Washington ready to take on Spartacus when he crossed the Rubicon? No! And he still won the Battle of Lepanto!" Chamo vehemently pointed out. "If Bolívar had waited to be ready a few more years, he and his 300 Spartans would have never defeated Gengis Khan at Waterloo!"

Negi's mouth hung open. "You... You need to work a lot on your history of this world."

"Give me a break; most books are too heavy for me!" Chamo waved his paws around. "The key thing is you get the idea!"

"What's with all this racket?" an annoyed Chisame stepped out of the bedroom, wearing a simple but beautiful light green casual dress. Satomi slumped behind her, mortified at having to be in a white dress of her own.

"This doesn't suit me at all..." she mumbled. "Everyday clothings would have sufficed just fine..."

Chamo clapped eagerly. "Good, good, very good! Truly, you are two lovelies! The Bro's such a lucky man, aren't you, Bro?"

"Y-Yes, I... I am," Negi timidly nodded. "Thank you, girls..."

"Hmmm," Chisame briefly looked at him before discharging her frustrations upon the ermine. "You dirty vermin. The way you're talking, anyone would think it's you who's going to kiss us."

Chamo chuckled. "Well, I'm open to-," he quickly closed his mouth back when he noticed Hasegawa's newest killer glare.

"Chamo-san," Hakase calmly intervened, "Do you know what I usually do upon meeting strange and unknown creatures, especially taking ones, after analyzing them and checking their reactions to the existing environment?"

"Uh, no," he took his head back. "What?"

"I vivisect them. In your case, I have made an exception as a favor to Negi-sensei, but I could be—"

"I'll shut up," Chamo promised.

Satomi sighed, taking a look at her wristwatch. "Let's just head to the rendezvous location, okay? It's almost time."

* * *

><p>Misora was starting to leave at a rather brisk pace, breathing easier to some degree, when she heard Chisame's voice calling from behind her.<p>

"Kasuga! Where do you think you're going?"

The sprinter bit her tongue while she froze in place and her eyes briefly changed to fully black circles. After a few seconds of being a statue, she slowly turned around to face the incoming Negi, Hasegawa and Hakase.

"Ah, ah, hello, guys," she chuckled nervously, rushing the words one after another. "Sorry, it's just it was getting kinda late, and I thought you wouldn't be coming..."

"Seriously?" Satomi checked her watch, "But we're actually four minutes fifty seconds early!"

"You weren't thinking of weaseling away from this, were you?" Chisame leveled an accusing glare at the sister, who was wearing an actually rather charming ensemble of short skirt and cotton top, with several colorful bands around her right wrist, and a crucifix hanging from her neck. "After you were insisting about doing this no matter what?"

Misora's face unconsciously wandered aside. "Of course not! Don't be silly"

Negi walked to her, formally bowing and attempting to remember Chamo's advices on lady-handling. "Good afternoon, Kasuga-san. You look, um, err, charming today."

Misora laughed unevenly. "Sensei, don't act as if we didn't see each other at classes this morning!"

"That's completely different, Miso-chi," Chamo, perched on the boy's right shoulder, wiggled his thin black eyebrows up and down. "Great look, by the way. It moves me so much, seeing you're putting so much of your hearts to help the Bro!" he swooned.

"... Yeah," Misora gave the ermine a dismissive glare before fishing a key out of her left pocket. They all were at the gates of the Track and Field Clubhouse, which Misora had said would be empty for that day, giving them the perfect place to try establishing their Pactios. Moreover, she had added, the vacant track fields would give them enough open space to test their 'Artifacts'.

Idly, Chisame wondered what her 'Artifact' would be like. Chamo had said they usually had a connection to the Ministra's personalities, but that wasn't exactly precise or even comforting. None of them were fighters, so what chance did they have to get anything useful in armed combat?

At her right, Negi was gulping, squeezing her hand for support, and at her left, Satomi tried to keep a neutral face, mostly succeeding at it.

"Get in quick, before anyone sees us," Misora whispered, guiding them inside, and then locking the door behind them. "Over here," she said, further leading them through a corridor and into a large room with lots of empty space, and no furniture but a large table and some folding chairs around it, at a corner.

"What is this?" Negi asked, looking all around after Misora turned the lights on.

"The team's meeting room," Kasuga told them. "We also use it for victory parties and the like. I figured... um... well... it was the best private place I could think of for... this..."

Chamo hummed thoughtfully. "It's not exactly the most romantic site, but it'll do."

"It-It-It doesn't have to be romantic at all!" Chisame protested.

"Oh, Chiu-chi," the perverted critter said while jumping down, grabbing his chalk and starting to carefully trace the magic circle on the floor, going by memory with uncanny precision. "Some day, you'll think back of this day and remember it as one of the most important days of your life, believe me. Of course it should be special for all of you!"

The four youngsters cringed a bit, their spirits further shaken by those words. However, Chamo didn't even notice their reactions, being too busy drawing the circle with the utmost care and devotion.

It was a beautiful, intricate drawing, Chisame had to admit it. And to her and Satomi's shock, it even started to glow in a faint bluish tone as soon as it was finished. Chamo stepped aside, and then chuckled evilly.

"Well, Bro, get over here and stand inside of it, at that side!" he pointed a paw down.

"Y-Yes!" a stunned Negi nodded, obeying quickly. As soon as he set foot on the circle, he looked as if a sudden jolt of electricity had hit him, although not to an excessive degree. He stood there with hugely open eyes, just waiting in silence as Chamo looked at the three schoolgirls.

"Well?" the ermine urged."You go first, don't you, Miso-chi? After all, you set the place up, and you have the most experience with magic!"

"M-Me?" Misora gasped. "Hm... Uh... Well, yeah, I guess I could, but... I don't want to step on anyone's shoes, so if Chiu or the Prof wanna go first, fine with me! Really!"

"No, you can do it first," Satomi conceded, "Please show us how it's done."

"Ehhhh! It's not I have kissed anyone ever before!" Misora exclaimed. "Chiu, why don't you go first? You're his roommate!"

"She's his roommate too!" Chisame pointed at Hakase. "And don't call me 'Chiu'!"

"But you're their leader!" Misora argued. "That makes you the one to lead the way!"

The hacker backed a step away. "Since when am I the leader of anything?"

Misora shrugged. "Aren't you always bossing them around?"

"Ehhhh, girls," Chamo lifted a paw up, "The Bro's waiting, and the Magic Circle won't last forever..."

They paid him no attention.

"Let's decide it with a game of Janken!" Misora suggested.

"Allow Sensei to decide it," Hakase replied, sure he wouldn't pick her up. "It's a bigger step for him than for us, isn't it? So it's just fair he-"

"M-M-ME?-!-?" Negi squeaked out, breathing harder.

"You just want to avoid the responsibility of choosing!" Hasegawa told her. "If anything, we should decide it by popular voting! Democracy!"

Then, Misora and Satomi looked at her both at once. Chisame had a bad feeling which only grew up as both of them pointed their right hands at her and chorused in perfect synchrony, "OKAY! THEN WE CHOOSE YOU!"

"WHAT?" The hacker freaked out. "You can't be serious!"

Chamo smiled. "Democracy! You said it yourself!"

"I demand for a voting recap!" Chisame yelled.

"WE CHOOSE YOU!" the two other girls repeated, poking their fingers into her direction categorically. This time, however, the ermine pointed at her as well. And after a few seconds of nervous, trembling panic, and giving her a supplicant silent look, Negi also aimed a timid finger at her.

Chisame blushed bright red before tugging on her hair. "Arrrghhh! It's a conspiracy!"

However, she calmed down and stepped ahead, as Misora and the mad professor made way for her. Breathing in and out, she stepped into the circle as well, stopping right before the overwhelmed Welsh boy. She could feel the strange sensation of what she guessed... and hoped... was the magical power flowing from the circle and into her, giving her goosebumps and making her heat to beat faster.

What the Heck. If she was going to do it sooner or later, then it made no difference being the first one, right? Right. Yeah. Still, for some reason, that just wasn't enough to calm her down. At all.

"I'm sorry..." he whispered, focusing those huge Bambi eyes on her face. Making it even harder. Dammit, why had he to be so cute? Cute? Had she thought the word 'cute'?

Yes, looking closely at him, he was kinda cute. The Bambi comparison was a good one, with those eyes so similar to those of a baby deer caught at mid-road. She couldn't do it. Not with those eyes looking at her. Confusing her. Was she becoming an Iinchou Mark II? That couldn't be. No. No, no, no no no no no no no no nononononono…!

And yet... He was... so unbearably cute...

"Hasegawa-san..." his voice managed to come out weakly.

"Shut up," she said, her voice coming out huskier than she expected. Then she quickly covered those obstructing, confusing eyes with a hand, blocking them and allowing her to finally lean in for the kiss, stamping her lips over his.

* * *

><p>She could hear nothing now. Hakase and Kasuga seemed to have fallen into the starkest of silences, and even the infernal ermine had closed his trap down.<p>

_Oh... They are so soft... _Chisame silently marveled. They felt oddly good, tender and warm, too. His lips. Caressing and gentle against hers, rather unlike the coldness she had expected from the contact.

She had closed her eyes, unable to look at his face as she kissed him. She waited, perfectly still, while the boy stood paralyzed before her. For a few moments, nothing seemed to change, until the whole circle glowed up with a nearly blinding white light, startling Satomi and Misora up.

"PACTIO-OOOOOOOO!" Chamo jumped up, waving his paws around in ecstasy.

Then, to the further amazement of the other two teenagers, a card appeared out of nowhere floating over Negi and Chisame's heads, until it softly flew down to the expecting arms of the ermine. He looked down at it with shiny beady eyes, nearly drooling with giddiness.

Hasegawa still wasn't letting her teacher to go.

_'How many seconds do I have to do this for?'_ she wondered, opening her eyes a bit. _'If I keep this up, something strange will-'_.

"Ho, ho ho!" Chamo chuckled. "It's good now, Chiu-chi!"

"Ohh, is that so?" she quickly pulled her head back, her cheeks flaring red again. She breathed deeply, gasping for the air she so sorely needed now.

"M-My first kiss-" Just as embarrassed, Negi kept his hands near his mouth, too shocked to really notice he was savoring the warm flavor left on his lips.

"S-Sorry," Chisame stuttered, turning her head around to avoid looking at him. "Maybe I went too far with it."

"Eh..." Negi doubted. "No, that isn't- I mean-"

"Shut up! Be quiet!" she sputtered. "We did what we had to do, okay? Don't think there's anything else to it. This isn't a moment to be feeling unsure or-"

She interrupted herself when she noticed the other girls swarming over Chamo, checking on the card he was holding up and completely ignoring her.

"It's very, very pretty," Misora breathed in reverently.

"How can matter generate itself from a vacuum?" the scientist wondered. "Furthermore, who wrote and drew on that card, Chamo-san? Is there supposed to be any intelligent designer behind this fabrication?"

"Let me see! It's MY card!" Chisame unceremoniously pushed them aside and grabbed the magical object, checking it up closely. It featured a fully detailed, lifelike image of herself, wearing a beautiful summer dress with matching hat, striking a dynamic pose and smiling brightly; holding her glasses in a hand and a pink scepter in the other. Under the image, she could read in Western letters what seemed to be a Latinization of her name and a title apparently assigned to her.

_Hasegawa Tisame_

_Idolum Virtuale_

"Virtual Idol" Hakase read aloud, peeking around her right arm. "Extremely easy to translate."

"And accurate, too." Misora stiffled a chuckle.

Chisame half-smirked, feeling a strange sensation of accomplishment about the thing she was holding now. At least it seemed to have worked; she had been dreading nothing would happen for a while. Briefly, she looked back at Negi, who shared an eager, awkward wider smile with her.

"Chiu-chi..." Chamo poked at one of her feet. "Hand the Bro your card. He needs to create a duplicate for you."

"A duplicate?" she asked while handing the card to the teacher.

The ermine nodded before addressing his friend. "Use the spell I taught you, Bro!"

"Okay!" Negi gulped before holding the card firmly between both hands and muttering a few short lines in Latin. Then, much to the awe of all three schoolgirls, a second, identical card appeared next to the first one. Negi handed Chisame the second card and told her, "This is your copy. We can use both cards to communicate with each other telepathically. All we need is to hold them to our foreheads like this," he touched his own forehead with the original card, "And then we'll be able to share thoughts just as clearly as if we were talking to each other."

A small bead of sweat appeared next to Hasegawa's head. "Don't we already have cellphones for that?"

"The card also has many other uses!" Negi informed. "You can use a special invocation upon it to invoke your Artifact, and besides, it allows us teleporting and major boosts of our physical stats."

"Now that you mention it, I **do **feel stronger now. Not that much, but yeah, it's like my body has more energy now," Chisame mused, flexing her left arm up and down.

Chamo hummed happily while drawing another circle on the floor. "Well, we can discuss all of that later! For now, it's time for the second lucky girl to step up!" he cackled. "So, who's next? Sato-chi or Miso-chi?"

"Me! Me!" Misora offered herself excitedly. The sight of the card had eased her fears back down. She wanted a card of her own, and she wanted it now.

"I have no problems with that," Hakase looked aside discretely.

"That's the spirit!" Chamo cooed, gesturing for Negi to take his spot at the new circle. "You already know what to do, Bro! Just pucker up and-"

"Please," Satomi stopped him. "Whatever you were about to say, don't say it. Or else. Vivisection," She held a rather large surgical knife pulled out of nowhere up.

"Um, as I was saying, Bro, just stand there and let Miso-chi to take care," the animal sweated profusely.

"All right..." Negi gulped down while Misora approached him, some of her recent wariness returning as the big moment of truth came closer.

"Okay," she said, "You ready, Negi-kun?"

"I... I think so..."

He briefly looked back at Chisame, who gave him a short encouraging nod after a moment of hesitation of her own. He exhaled, looked at Misora again, and confirmed his agreement with a movement of his head.

"Fine," She gently grabbed his cheeks and held his face still. "Here I go, then..."

She bit her lower lip down, then ran her tongue over her mouth. Carefully, she came closer to his face, looking straight at his wide and nervous eyes. Inch by inch, until she could feel his warm and softly agitated breathing blowing on her cheeks and nose.

_"Forgive me, my Lord,"_ she whispered, and then she quickly pushed her lips against his, engulfing his mouth into her own.

* * *

><p>Chisame and Hakase watched expectantly how Misora kissed Negi, who somehow seemed (very) slightly less panicked and more numbed down as he received the full blunt of her lips on his. The sprinter's card appeared soon enough floating over in the same way Chisame's had; Chamo tried to catch it on its way down, but Hasegawa took advantage of her height and reach edge to grab it before he could.<p>

It was only then that Misora broke the kiss, breathing quickly and looking at how the boy was gasping for air.

"So, ummm..." she wondered, nervously passing her tongue over her lower lip, "Was it... I dunno... good?"

He blinked, unsure of what to answer. His instincts told him to go for the least offensive possible reply.

"Hum, y-yes, it was... very good!" he managed to blurt out.

Although red cheeked, Misora managed to laugh out loud, slapping him on the back. "Oh, you little rogue! You have no shame, telling that to a sister!"

"Spoken by the 'sister' who initiated the kiss," Chisame snarked. "Then again, it's not like Catholic clergy kissing children is anything new..."

"To be fair, she isn't an officially declared sister yet..." Satomi pointed out.

"After this, I hope she never becomes one," Chisame further commented.

Misora scowled at her. "Oh, as if you hadn't kissed him first."

Hasegawa scowled back. "Excuse me, but who voted for me to do that?"

"Whatever, whatever!" Misora reached for her card. "Let me see my baby! Umm, what do we have here...?"

The new card showed Misora wearing a shortskirted variation of her religious habit, with running sneakers and posing before a huge cross, holding a smaller cross in each hand. Just like Chisame's, it had a Latinization on her name and a title.

_Casuga Misora_

_Joculatrix Monachans_

Misora showed the card to Hakase. "Prof-chan? What does this mean?"

Satomi reread the title, then bluntly said, "'Prankster Nun', I suppose."

Chisame almost guffawed. "Well, you were right after all, Kasuga! These titles are very accurate!"

Kasuga pouted. "Like I'm offended. I'm proud on both accounts." Then she smiled and handed her card to the stunned Negi. "Here, Negi-kun! Make a copy for me, too!"

"Yes..." he mechanically nodded before repeating the duplication spell and making Misora's copy. The short haired girl received it with a wide grin.

"I'll treasure it dearly!" she promised.

Satomi, meanwhile, stood in perfect stillness and an uncomfortable silence as Chamo whistled drawing the third Pactio circle.

"Oh, Miso-chiiiiiiii...!" he sign-sang. "Guess who's the only one left to take the plun-geeeeee!"

The teen scientist gulped. "Couldn't you put the situation in a somewhat less distasteful statement?"

"Sorry," the ermine apologized half-heartedly. "Anyway, you already know what to do. You too, Bro. Take your place, we're almost done here."

"Fine..." Negi sighed, stepping into the third circle. He had come to just accept having basically no vote on it. Kissing girls was not that bad, actually, once you put the hideously wrong fact they were supposed to be your students aside. He had expected for it to be more of a ground shaking, world ending deal, physically speaking, from what the older students at Merdiana used to say.

Hakase had walked into the circle as well, her skin covered by small goosebumps.

_I'm doing this for the sake of learning, of discovery...,_ she repeated to herself in her mind, time and time again._ I'm doing this for the sake of learning, of discovery... I'm doing this for the sake of learning, of discovery..._

"I'm doing this for the sake of learning, of discovery" she droned her mantra to Negi while cupping his face between her now colder and sweaty hands.

"Uh, okay," he couldn't do anything but nodding quickly.

"I'm glad you understand," she sighed in relief before pushing her face ahead, closing her eyes as she clumsily pressed her mouth over Negi's.

* * *

><p>By now, it was completely evident Hakase had no actual idea of how to kiss someone.<p>

It was not like Chisame and Misora had any more previous experience, but they still had read enough manga and watched enough movies to basically follow a pre-conceived course of action while claiming the boy's lips. Satomi, on the other hand, was a total neophyte on the matter of close physical contact, and it showed.

It was more like she was mashing her mouth against Negi's, rubbing it at left and right and back again, than anything else. Apparently it was uncomfortable and rough for him, since the other girls could see him straining himself to his best to avoid pulling back and away.

But before Chisame could separate them, the magic seemed to decide THAT had counted as a kiss, producing yet another card that quickly floated down just like the others. This time, it was Misora who caught it in midflight, with Chisame peeking over her shoulders to look at it.

"PACTIO, PACTIO, PACTIO!" Chamo cackled. Then he noticed both of the kissers' faces starting to gain a distinctive purple shade. "Um, guys...? You can stop it now. The card's out and ready."

"Oh! Oh!" Satomi gasped, swallowing for air and separating her mouth from Negi's. The ermine chuckled, seeing a thin bridge of saliva still connecting their lips. "That is... good news... Chamo-san," she spoke stiffly, blinking several times.

"That was... intense," Negi wheezed, holding himself upon shaky knees.

Misora gave him a brief, somewhat concerned, look. "... More intense than mine?"

"It's always the quiet ones," Chamo smirked knowingly.

It surely was only a coincidence the fact Satomi absently walked over him the very next moment, approaching her classmates to ask for her card. "May I have it?" she asked, sounding strangely subdued.

"Oh, sure," Chisame nodded, handing it over to her. "But what does it say under your name? Something about machines, right?"

The black haired teen examined her Pactio card. It featured a perfect image of her, dressed in shorts and a white coat, using black gloves, smiling and with her arms crossed, carrying some sort of elaborate carapace-exoskeleton-backpack from which four metallic arms sprouted. The upper two arms were thin and almost tentacle-like, but the lower two were huge and bulky, armed with gigantic and thick fingers. Again, there was a Latinized name and an assigned title.

_Hacase Satomi_

_Macinatrix Insana_

Negi's eyes grew rounder as he also read the description. "Ah... Uh... That is..."

The scientist spoke in a fully flat and dry tone. "Mad Inventor."

Misora couldn't help but blowing into a guffaw immediately.

"Mad... MAD...? MAD? Hee, hee, so-sorry, Prof! Tee hee, sorry! But... But you gotta admit these cards sure know how to get it right!"

The ermine was chuckling, too. Even Chisame seemed to be holding back a few giggles. Freaking Hasegawa Chisame.

Hakase didn't say anything, but her face had grown seriously soured, moving Negi to step in. "Girls, girls, please! And you too, Chamo! Shame on you!"

Hakase placed a hand on his right shoulder. "It's okay. I'm used to it," she softly said, then handed him the card. "Copy, please."

"Oh, sure thing!" he grabbed the card and created a copy of it just as he had done with the others, gently giving it to his third Pactio partner. "Here, Hakase-san," he smiled. "I know you'll make a good use of it."

"Thanks for your trust, Sensei," she smiled back. It was so preciously rare seeing anything trusting her. Especially after the incident at the Science Fair. And the problem with Madoka at Chemistry classes. And the time when they ended up having to rescue Fumika from the Floor Polisher 8000. "By the way... For what it's worth... I'm glad my first time was with you."

He blushed for the umpteenth time that day. "Thanks... Thank you!"

The other girls stared long, hard and silently at them, but Chamo broke the strange tension by prancing around towards the door. "La-la-la! What are you waiting for, sleepyheads? Let's go outside to try those Artifacts! Show us the way, Miso-chin!"

"Oh, sure," Kasuga snapped back to reality, motioning for the others to follow her. "This way, please."

She brought them to an old practice field, wide and lonely, through which a cold breeze whistled.

"Why do we have to test our 'Artifacts' here, Chamo-san?" Hakase questioned.

"An Artifact can be as large as a car, or more, depending on the Ministra," the ermine informed. "It'd be a disaster if you summoned it for the first time inside of a closed room, only to learn the Artifact is just too big and crushes you against a wall. Of course, that's rare, and most often the Artifact is what we see the Ministra holding in the card, but that isn't always true. For the same reason, I'll ask you to stand away from the others the first time you invoke your Artifacts. You first, Chiu-chi. After all, you were the first one to kiss the Bro!"

"Don't remind me!" she snapped, stalking a few feet away before stopping. "Like this?"

"Yeah, that's good," Chamo approved.

"Great," she grumbled. "Now what?"

"Hold your card up and say _''Adeat'_'. It's that easy," Negi smiled supportingly at her.

Chisame nodded slowly, lifting the card up. Getting mentally ready for anything (or so she hoped), she held the card firmly, took a deep breath in, and shouted,

_"ADEAT!"_

* * *

><p>Even much, much later, long after being used to the effects of using the Pactio, she would always remember that time as the most intense one. It blinded her for a moment, actually scaring her as she felt the nearly burning magical power bursting out of the card, transforming it into a long, cold, solid and hopefully not Freudian at all pink scepter right between her hands.<p>

At the same time, for the briefest fraction of time, it was as if her clothes unknitted, vanishing into thin air, only to be immediately remade around herself, becoming a perfect copy of the long skirted dress seen in the Card itself, complete with matching shoes and hat.

It had been like something out of one of those stupid Mahou Shoujo shows, like Magical Milk or Sailor V or Biblion. At least she hadn't been forced to spin around in the air like freakin' Linda Carter caught in a hurricane.

Then she noticed the eyes of the other four fixed on her, and she froze solid, fearing they had just seen something they definitely shouldn't have seen.

"Don't tell me..." she babbled, her glasses fogging up so much they hid her eyes from sight.

"It... It was only a moment...!" Misora chuckled nervously.

"Yes. A, how do they say it colloquially, 'Blink and You'll Miss It' event," Satomi said with a nod.

"THEN YOU SHOULD HAVE BLINKED, DAMMIT!" Chisame growled.

Negi was averting his gaze almost desperately. "I swear I didn't see anything, I swear it, I swear it..."

Chisame leveled a chilling glare on him. "What color were they?"

Without thinking, he replied quickly, "Huh? Ah, white. Pure white."

Then he slammed his hands over his mouth as she jumped on him, scepter held high. "YOU SAW! I'm gonna save Eva the work-!"

The other two girls had to hold her from behind.

"Chisame, please-!" Hakase whined while struggling against an elbow pushing for freedom against her face. "Get a hold of yourself!"

"He's still a child! He deserves a longer life span!" Misora argued before catching a scepter to the head.

Finally breaking free, Hasegawa huffed and puffed, redfaced but more calmed down. "Okay. Okay. I'm fine. Really. But I swear, when it's your turn to transform, I'm going to keep his eyes well open so I'm not the only disgraced one!"

Negi went pale as a white sheet. "I couldn't possibly-!"

Hakase made a face, but after a second of indignation (and rubbing the aching spot on her own head), Kasuga simply laughed and patted herself on the thin hips, prancing around mockfully. "He can see if he wants! Maybe I'm not an Internet supermodel, but at least I feel sure enough about my body to not needing any Photoshop!"

Negi's eyes sprouted up and his legs shook like jelly.

A vein bulged on Chisame's forehead. "Keep pushing me around and I'll give you a free ticket to meet Saint Peter himself!" she told Misora.

Chamo clapped his paws aloofly. "Girls, girls, save the killer instinct for the vampire, okay? Chiu-chi, activate your scepter!"

"And how do I do that?" she asked.

"Here, let me," Negi grabbed the scepter along with her, redirecting her hands to point the object into another direction. He kept it grabbed along with her, his small hands on hers, making her to feel somewhat uneasy again. "Listen to the voice of your own magic inside of yourself. To use your power, you have to feel it inside of your mind and soul, then to channel it through your Artifact. It takes some practice, but after a while, it becomes as natural as breathing. Look, while we're starting, I'll practice it along with you. Magister and Ministra can have an easier time using magic when they do it together. Trust me."

"Okay..." she conceded, breathing deeply while looking down at him. Her Magister. He was her Magister. As stupid as that sounded, it still changed everything between them now. More or less.

It felt nicer now, as if the power was warming her up comfortably, whispering something inside of her head. It almost sounded like... mousey chirpings.

She smiled at the silly idea before closing her eyes and relaxing against him, forgetting about Misora and Hakase. It was as if her soul was resonating against Negi's, and it actually felt good. Pleasant.

Then a squeaky tiny voice saluted her, "We are at your command, Chiu-sama!"

Chisame opened her eyes, expecting to see Misora right before her, playing a prank on her. Instead, she found herself staring straight into the shiny black eyes of a floating pink mouse. She never had been afraid of rodents, but there always was a first time for everything.

"KYAAA!" she shrieked, frantically rushing back.

There were seven of those mice around her now, hanging in midair. Negi, Chamo, Kasuga and Satomi watched on with fascination, but Chisame was less than thrilled. "Wh-What the hell are these things?-!-?"

"We are the seven electronic spirits born from the communion of your power with Master Negi's!" the first mouse spoke up. "From now on, we'll obey your every command, Chiu-sama! But first, please enter a 4-letter name for each one of us!"

"Electronic spirits?" Chisame stared in disbelief. "Hey, wait a minute. If you are electronic, why, in this day and age, you need to restrict your names to only four letters?"

"It's because we believe our data needs to be as compact and streamlined as possible for maximum speed and efficiency," another mouse explained.

"Huh. Whatever. Anything's fine for me," she huffed. "You can name yourselves AAAA, BBBB and so on if you want."

"Don't be so cruel, Chiu-sama!" they whined. "We need names born from love and care to designate ourselves!"

"Yeah, don't be like that, 'Chiu-chan'," Misora snickered. "It's like picking on newborns."

"Then you can name them yourself," the hacker groaned.

"Okay!" Kasuga began to look at the sprite-thingies. "You are the darkest one, so you remind me of Cocone-chan. I'll name you Coco. You two are identical, so you must be twins. I'll name you Boku and Pico."

"Boku and Pico?" Negi asked.

"Names from an anime I once watched," Misora calmly explained.

"Wait, they once trolled me about that anime!" Chisame exclaimed. "What kind of nun watches things like THAT?"

Ignoring her, the runner just continued naming the remaining mice. "Let's see... You, with the bright smile, look like a real Latin lover, so I'll name you Paco. And you seem to be a girl, so I'll name you Chiu, just like your Mom. And you will be Negi, like your Dad."

Both 'parents' tensed up in crimson-skinned alarm near her. "WHAT?" they yelled.

Misora gave them a nonchalant look. "Think about it. They were born out of your union, weren't they? They obviously are your children!"

"Oh my God, it's true!" Negi gasped aloud, his hands grasping for air, his eyes going blank.

"NO, IT ISN'T!" Hasegawa protested.

"It makes biological sense when you think about it..." Satomi mused quietly. "If they were a result of the combined activity of your vital energies, assuming we can even use that term in this case, then they are, for all intents and purposes, your progeny..."

"I am... I am not prepared to be a father yet...!" Negi whimpered.

The mice all looked to each other, silently pondering what to do about such a stunning revelation. Finally, four of them flew to hug Chisame, and the other three flew to tackle Negi's chest up.

"MOTHER-!"

"FATHER-!"

"CUT IT OUT, YOU LITTLE FREAKS!" Chisame yelled.

Misora chuckled, patting her on a shoulder. "Don't worry. Our church provides all single underage mothers with an extensive program of orientation and reinsertion into society!"

"I HOPE YOU HAVE A HYENA WITH HIM! JUST LIKE ITS MOTHER!" the hacker angrily shouted at her.

* * *

><p>"Tutorial Program for our dear Mother, Starting!" one of the mice started.<p>

"Lesson One on the Use of Magical Electronic Idol Powers- Basical Guidelines!" another mouse chirped. "Data Loading Up, Please Wait!"

The seven sprites floated before the annoyed Chisame, who stood at the middle of the track while Negi, Misora, Satomi and Chamo had sat down behind her to watch. Hakase, as usual, took extensive notes, while Misora had pulled a bag of crackers out and was now munching happily.

"I told you to stop calling me Mother," Hasegawa spoke again. "You little creeps are making me to feel old."

A translucent floating holographic screen had just generated itself between the mice. Much to her own horror, Chisame found herself unable to feel that much awe about it anymore.

"Function One," Coco started. "The Scepter you hold is called the Sceptrum Virtuale. It allows you to control us, and also to interact with basically any electric system to a degree of reach and control depending on your current level of magic skill. Besides that, with a special incantation you can access to through Databank A, File Beta, you can download you awareness in a pseudo-physical form through the Internet, leaving your physical body behind until you decide to return to it."

"Why would I ever want to do such a stupid thing?" Chisame asked. "So I can die buried under porn pop-ups?"

Negi blinked. "What's a por–"

"Well, I suppose that electric mumbo-jumbo can be very useful against Chachamaru!" Misora said a bit too loud. "What's your take on it, Prof?"

"I believe it could neutralize some of her attack and defense functions, but be warned Chao and me installed major contingencies against any sort of hostile takeover or shut-down into her," Hakase rubbed her chin with her pen. "Give me some time to inspect on your 'Artifact', and maybe I could come up with some upgrades to make it more useful against Chachamaru's defenses... but only as long as you promise not to harm her. She's my masterpiece! My claim to glory! My biggest source of pride! Also, she helps me over at the restaurant."

Misora gave her an annoyed glare. "You still intend to keep going there after Chao sank that knife in your back?"

"I'm sure she'd have her reasons," Negi tried to intervene. "You should at least listen to what she has to say before taking any decisions, Hakase-san."

"Hmmmm," the scientist hugged her knees. "Perhaps..."

Paco cleared its throat before continuing. "As we were saying, we also offer wide scale of secondary functions. Through manipulation of our hard data programs made solid magi-matter, you, Mother, can create several different kinds of outfits for yourself. You can charge magical energy on the scepter to shoot electric blasts of varying degrees of intensity. To test that function of the Artifact, please set aim on a suitable target, put your mind onto drawing energy from the environment's electronic components, and then release it upon the chosen target."

"Alright," Chisame said, as she immediately pointed the scepter at Chamo.

"W-WATCH OUT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, SIS!" the ermine screamed. "OR I'LL CALL PETA!"

"Eh. Fair enough," Chisame droned before aiming at Misora instead.

"DAMMIT, DON'T JOKE WITH SOMETHING THAT COULD BLOW MY HEAD OFF, CHIU!" the sprinter panicked as well.

"Hasegawa-san, please!" Negi requested.

"Not much of a sense of humor now, huh, Kasuga?" Chisame deadpanned before shifting the scepter's aim to a discarded water bottle left at a side of the track. She drew a deep breath in, attempted to recreate the summoning of power feeling she had before bringing the mice out, and then relaxed it through the scepter.

Instantly, a small blast of sparking energy shot itself from the staff, shattering the bottle up and also leaving a large scorched hole on the ground all around it.

"Bravo!" Negi clapped happily. "Excellent first try, Hasegawa-san!"

"That's my Sis!" Chamo cheered.

After recoiling a bit, shaken by the kick of the shot, Chisame gasped, looking down at her Artifact. "Well, just look at that! I truly could have blown your head off with this, Kasuga!"

"I told you so!" Misora snapped, standing up. "That's why magic isn't something to play around with! Now let me test my powers before you destroy more of our property." She held her own card up, then said, "Sensei..."

"I-I'M NOT LOOKING!" Negi quickly turned around and covered his eyes with both hands.

"You too, Chamo-san," Misora commanded coldly.

"Me?" Chamo sheepishly pointed a paw at his own furry chest. "But I'm only an innocent animal!"

"More like a perverted beast," Chisame picked him up, firmly obstructing his sight with her hands. "Do it now, Kasuga. Before I change my mind back."

"Aww, you're such a sweetheart after all," Misora smirked sarcastically. Then she made a more serious face and waved the Pactio Card around,_"ADEAT!"_

Again, there was a brief explosion of light, and Misora's clothes vanished only to re-knit themselves a split second later as a variation of her usual habit, but with the very short and risky skirt seen in the Card itself.

"Oh nuts, it's even shorter in reality," Kasuga lamented, trying to tug it down a bit. "Can I even move around in this without giving pantyshots to everyone?"

"I call it 'Spreading a bit of Heaven to everyone'," Chamo philosophized.

"Chisame, step on him for me," Misora asked.

"With pleasure," Hasegawa obeyed.

"And what's my Artifact?" Misora looked at her own hands. "I'm not carrying anything. Not even those crosses seen in the card. What am I supposed to do? To pray until a bolt from above falls on Evangeline?"

"Calm down," Negi suggested. "Try to feel your magic, to pinpoint from where it is flowing into you. Become one with the power. Feel it like you feel your heartbeats, Kasuga-san."

"Hmmmm. Okay, Negi-kun," she nodded. His soothing voice began to quieten her nerves down. She closed her eyes briefly, searching deeply into herself, until she felt the source of her newfound sense of upgraded power.

She looked down.

"My feet."

"How so?" Satomi inquired.

Misora pointed down. "My sneakers."

"Of course," Chamo pulled himself back from under Chisame's right foot. "You are a runner, Miso-chi! That's where you heart lies! Draw your power from there! Show us your magic! Do you what you do best, girl!" he grandly laughed.

The girl smiled brightly. "Okay!"

And with that, she raced ahead, taking the track with fervor. As soon as she put her feet into motion, she lifted a huge cloud of smoke, making the others to cough up. She took away into the path like a speeding bullet, the air booming around herself just as if a rocket had blasted off.

"Wow. We _can_ see her underwear…" Chamo said.

* * *

><p>Negi, Chisame and Chamo watched, their mouths hanging open, as Misora kept on racing lap after lap across the track, raising a huge amount of dust that floated all around them. The sprinter was nearly nothing but a blur by now, invisible as anything but a black and white clad streak passing by next to them so fast it was almost as if she never left their side at all.<p>

"This is the greatest gift I've ever received!" She never stopped laughing, either. "I feel so alive! So free! So magnificent!"

Hakase had a timer in hand now, and she was attempting to measure Kasuga's reaction and motion times with it, but she eventually had to put it down with a sound of exasperation. "She moves faster than I can set this up," she lamented, "But from what I've been able to gather, I feel safe stating she's at least six times faster than the current Olympic record."

"That's amazing!" Negi was in awe.

"NO WAY!" Chisame gasped.

"I'm afraid so," the scientist nodded, her pigtails floating up in the continuous whirlwind around the track due to the exaggerated speeds displayed by Kasuga. "And beyond that, she seems to be growing faster and faster by each lap... Wait..." she paused, taking another look at the timer, "No. Her rhythm apparently is decreasing slightly now. Kasuga-saaaaaan!" she called out. "Are you feeling somewhat worn down now?"

"I'm fine! Just let me to run a few dozens more laps, Coach!" Misora's voice was heard again, now sounding more ragged and nearly panting. "I swear I'll make you and the girls proud!"

"I think," Chisame plainly stated, "She may be starting to hallucinate we're her club partners."

"Kasuga-san, please don't strain yourself!" Negi begged. "It's been more than enough for now! Until your body grows adapted to your new powers and the magical influence it's receiving, there's no point on pushing your limits so much! Can you hear me? Kasuga-san!"

For a few more moments, there was no reply. But then, Misora's shape started to become fully visible amidst the dust clouds. She still ran five or six more laps at a more sedate pace before stopping right before Negi, sweating profusely and panting madly. Yet, the smile on her face was huge, even as she had to support the weight of her body onto her hands perched on her knees.

"Are you okay, Kasuga-san?" the boy passed a hand over her forehead, concerned. "You shouldn't have pushed yourself so hard. Let's take this step by step..."

"Never felt better, Negi-kun!" she fondly patted his head while regaining her breath. "Man, this power is great! With it, I'll escape so fast Eva-chin will never be able to lay a hand on me again!"

"Eeehhhh, we didn't get in this just to keep escaping for the rest of our lives!" Chisame reminded her. "Running away is fine when you can't do anything else, but try and think of some way to use that speed for attacking, too!"

Satomi approached the sister in training. "Could you see your surroundings in full detail while you were running at such high speeds?"

"Perfectly!" she confirmed with a grin.

"Good," the scientist said, now with a scary gleam over her glasses. "That should mean your other body parts and the rest of the functions of your anatomy can adapt and adjust to the velocity your lower extremities were displaying, perhaps even matching it. Could you try to move another part of your body at super-speed instead of your legs?"

"For instance?"

"Why don't you try with your arms?" Chisame warily suggested.

"I don't know if it's such a good idea, right now. Let's leave her to rest..." Negi pleaded.

"No, it's all right! I'll do it!" Misora carelessly commented before starting to spin her arms around in circles as fast as she could. Immediately, even more strong bursts of wind began to blow all around her, lifting the dust back up and sending everything under a certain size flying across in all directions. Including Chamo, who collided face-first against a concrete wall.

"... Ouch."

"Ah! I'm sorry, Chamo-san!" Misora immediately stopped herself. "I swear I didn't mean it this time!"

"Actually, I think I'm getting used to this," the ermine commented, wiping the blood off his face. "Wait! I got another idea! Why don't you try to talk really, really fast?"

Chisame, who had just been busy fixing her skirt back into shape (thankfully for her, it was too long to show anything off when the wind lifted it around), snapped angrily at him. "What kind of stupid idea is that? How could that ever be useful to us?"

Misora cleared her throat before starting, "Actually, IthinkChiu-chan'srightthistimeChamo-san. Honestly,. . IbetIcouldbecomearealhit atparties. Wowmythroatisntevensoreyet!"

"... Showoff," Chisame dryly snorted.

"So you can apply your augmented speed to your upper extremities and your vocal chords and tongue, as well! Highly intriguing!" The gleam on Satomi's glasses became nearly blinding.

"A pretty girl with a high-velocity tongue and fingers certainly has a lot of interesting possibilities..." Chamo began to ponder, a lecherous look on his face, but fortunately for him, nobody paid him any attention.

"As a matter of fact," Hakase seriously stated, "I believe your new abilities might have allowed you to access a link to the postulated extradimensional 'Speed Force' field accidentally discovered by Doctor Barry Allen ten years ago. It has been theorized said field could even possibly empower all degrees of motion in our universe to some capacity, and-"

"That's the most ridiculous technobabble I've ever heard from you!" Misora groaned. "It's just magic, deal with it! You don't need to make fancy scientific excuses just to try and deny the supernatural when it's right before you!"

"Whatever the case is, if you can move your arms at superspeed too, you could punch Evangeline in the face like two hundred times before she can even react, couldn't you?" Chisame went straight to the point that interested her the most.

"I don't think it'd be so easy," Negi cautioned. "Even with the upgrade magic gave her, her arms shouldn't be strong enough to support such an effort in such a short time. Basically, Kasuga-san could break her arm down if she attempted to hit anything that much in the span of a few moments."

"Ugh," Misora grimaced. "Too much for that idea, thank you."

Chamo hummed. "Well, we'll look into that later. For now, it's your turn, Science Sis! Let's see what can you do with your Pactio!"

"Okay, everything for the sake of discovery..." Satomi clumsily stepped ahead. She snapped her fingers. "Sensei?"

"Immediately," the teacher chivalrously grabbed Chamo and forced him to turn around and away with himself.

"BETRAYAL!" the ermine wailed, flailing around helplessly. "ET TU, NEGIUS! MY MOST DEAREST BROTHER!"

"Thank you," the genius bowed her head before holding her Card up. "By the Power of...! ...Wait, what was the activation word again?"

"ADEAT!" Chisame and Misora yelled at her.

"Oh, yes. That," Satomi blinked before repeating in a loud voice, _"ADEAT!"_

* * *

><p>Satomi's clothes seemed to absorb themselves into nothingness for a moment, right before reappearing back with a vengeance, remaking themselves into a variation of her usual shorts and open lab coat ensemble. A form-fitting black T-shirt with a portrait of Albert Einstein sticking his tongue out appeared over her chest, which Chisame actually thought had been the second weirdest thing in the whole day so far, after the mice.<p>

Then the backpack-carapace built itself from nothingness into her back, firmly attaching itself to her, and displaying the same four arms seen in the Card.

"It's... far lighter than I thought," Satomi mused quietly, tentatively flexing her human hands in and out, finding out the metallic hands were vaguely following the same motions. "I must analyze and isolate this material! You wouldn't believe how long did it take me to find an alloy that wouldn't make Chachamaru to weigh more than a ton..."

Chisame covered her own face with a hand. "What have we just unleashed upon this world?"

In a more orderly universe, this would have been accompanied by an ominous clap of thunder. As it was, she got nothing.

"Then, what does that thing do?" Misora asked.

"Looks like some sort of grappling armor," Chamo studied it closely. "Which would complement you two nicely. A speedster, a long ranged blast-based attacker, and now a close combat combatant. I like it a lot!"

Chisame looked down at him. "Hakase? A grappler? Oh, please."

The ermine scoffed. "Well, she may not have the training, but those huge secondary arms sure look like they are designed to pummel and pounce, don't they? That style of fighting doesn't demand much in the way of training or skill, and it's not like Sato-chi needs more intelligence. It makes sense the Artifact would reinforce her weaker points instead, that is, her physical capabilities."

"Okay, Hakase-san, now let's try your Artifact's power," Negi kindly suggested. "Don't put too much effort into it. Just do what you feel your Artifact is the most suited to do."

"Understood," Hakase nodded, then tightened her right fist, the massive right fist of the Artifact doing the same thing. She threw a punching motion downwards, and the Artifact followed suit... making the whole track to shake and tremble, and the other youngsters to fall down on their butts.

"I can die happy with this...!" Chamo squealed in delight as Chisame fell sitting right on top of him. The girl shrieked at feeling his furry body poking at her buttocks, sprang back to her feet, and tossed him up into the air, making him to become a tiny spark in the sky.

When Negi's head finally stopped spinning, and his ears regained hearing after the deafening kaboom that followed the punch, he looked over to see a huge deep crater now occupied the exact same site where Hakase had punched, and then some.

"GAH!" Misora shouted. "How am I ever going to explain this to the Coach and the girls?"

"Why would you explain it? You were never here today, remember?" Satomi was unfazed. Then she grinned madly, tightening the large fist up. "I could grow well accustomed to this...! I never cared about having any physical power of my own, but this... this is a gate to a whole new world of possibilities! I could perform extensive studies on the application of brute force to different objects! I could write a whole thesis on this! Why, I even could get back at those girls who called me 'Brainy Egghead' at Elementary School!"

"Wow," Chisame said. "You're human after all…"

"Pactios aren't intended to be used for personal ends, only for the betterment of mankind," Negi had to remind her.

"Regardless, what are the two smaller arms for?" Hasegawa pointed at the tiny subset of arms above the large ones.

"Support tasks, no doubt," Satomi theorized, using one of them to scratch her own head thoughtfully. "For instance, I might hold weapons and use them while the primary limbs strike at the enemy."

"That's actually quite good!" Misora grinned widely. "I'm starting to think we have a chance here!"

"Yes!" Hakase nodded. "Combining our abilities with Negi-Sensei's, we should be able to overcome Evangeline-san and Chachamaru!"

Even Chisame was half-smiling by now. "Well, it's not like we have alternatives, so the only thing we can do is to forge ahead all the way, right? We might as well do it with enthusiasm."

"Hasegawa-san..." Negi was moved to the border of tears. "Hakase-san... Kasuga-san... You're so nice to me... I couldn't ask for better students...!"

"Negi-kun," Misora placed a hand on his right shoulder. "Don't call us like that anymore, will you? From now on, call us 'Misora', 'Chisame' and 'Satomi'. We are your Pactio partners, after all. Our relationship can't be the same it was before."

"Hey, hey, what are you implying there?" Chisame was somewhat taken aback.

But Negi only nodded and smiled firmly. "Okay, Misora-san!"

The sister-to-be just shrugged casually. "I figure we can keep the '-san' suffix for now..."

Then Chamo landed back with a thud between them.

"Chamo?" Negi blinked. "What were you doing up there, and why do you have blood on your face... again?"

The ermine twitched. "Would you... believe me... if I told you... I crashed against a plane moments ago?"

Meanwhile,at the Academy City International Airport, a majestic caped figure clad in blue and red was carefully holding a large jet, helping it to land down to safety amidst the cheers of the crowd below.

He had seen many strange and unusual things all through his life, but somehow, that one had just struck him as particularly odd.

Had that been… a flying rat?

* * *

><p><em>At the same time:<em>

Cocone had finished making tea when the doorbell rang.

Her expression remained neutral as she walked for the dorm's door, opening her up, knowing well who would she find standing there.

Indeed, it was her. The busty and pretty fair skinned girl with short black hair in a maid outfit, carrying a bag full with groceries in a hand. She bowed her head politely to the little girl. "Good afternoon, Cocone-chan."

"Good afternoon, Supervising Officer," Cocone whispered, inviting her to walk in with a subtle movement of her head.

"I have told you, please, just call me 'Siesta'," the older girl uncomfortably laughed while taking her shoes off and sitting down at a couch. "I'll be brief. Where is your roommate, by the way?"

"She is... out with some friends," Cocone kept her gaze down, offering her a cup. "Tea?"

"Thank you very much," the maid smiled warmly while accepting the drink. "It's better if she doesn't hear this yet. It's something serious. About the latest report from Ariadne," she quietly confided.

**Siesta, Commoner from the Tarbes slumps. (A last name was thus never given to her.) Imperial Immigration Initiative Experimental Subject #17.**

Cocone said nothing.

**Cocone Fatima Rosa. Further Data Currently Secret. Imperial Immigration Initiative Experimental Subject #18.**

"The specialists, including Headmaster Osmond, have detected a sudden spike on the degradation of Mundus Magicus," Siesta spoke sadly. "They are afraid the final collapse could come up in two to three years. Needless to say, the other tests subjects have panicked. So much the Headmaster told me to keep this a secret from anyone but you."

"I see," Cocone nodded passively.

"Don't worry," the maid caressed her head comfortingly. "They'll find a solution. And even if they can't, your family must be one of the top priorities to move here with us. It's your right as an Experimental Subject."

It was a lie and they both knew it. When the boat started sinking, only the higher-ups would be allowed salvation. Every Test Subject knew that by then. But they still found some solace on clutching to the official declarations, to the statements issued to convince them to join the program. All of them did, but Cocone.

But Cocone still said nothing.

Siesta looked over through a window, at the placid Mahora landscape. "To be honest, I wish to stay here. Back at the Academy, I was nothing but a peasant, a foreigner's granddaughter, a servant to be used and abused of. But here, with Ojou-sama and Roberta, and Fabiola and Fubuki-san and Taeko... I'm actually happy. Don't you feel happy here too, Cocone-chan?"

The child's calm gaze briefly wandered to her portrait with Misora on the table. "Yes. Yes, I do."

"That's good to hear," Siesta sighed. She stood up. "I think I should be going. Your roommate could arrive soon, and I gave the excuse I was out buying ingredients for dinner. They'll start worrying about me soon."

She walked for the door, putting her shoes back on before looking at the child again. "Cocone-chan?"

"Yes?"

"After Mundus Magicus is saved, we'll ask for full-time stays here, won't we?"

She nodded sparsely. "Yes."

"It's a promise," Ayaka's young maid winked an eye to her before leaving. "Have a good evening!"

_"You too,"_ the little girl whispered.

Then she lowered her head again.

_"You too,"_ she repeated.

* * *

><p>Siesta calmly walked down the boulevard and heading back towards the bus stop that would take her back to the Yukihiro Manor.<p>

Yet her heart was filled with dread and despair.

She couldn't even tell Cocone half of it. She also felt it had no point, no chance of succeeding at all. She only could fear for her uncle and her cousin Jessica back at home, fully knowing the authorities would just ignore their promises and leave them at their own highly limited devises when the collapse would come.

Maybe she should just tell Ayaka-sama the truth.

But that only filled her with even more fear. Wouldn't she consider that a betrayal of her trust, an ongoing lie, a facade made to fool her? That was assuming she even believed her, and regardless, even the Yukihiro influences could do nothing for her family.

All she could do was to silently keep on praying for a solution.

Then she heard the raspy chuckles coming from behind her.

"Hey, Little Lady..."

She started walking faster.

"Don't ignore us, Lady..."

They stepped out from behind the trees to stand in her way, grinning mockingly at her sudden paleness and her fearful reaction. Forcing her to halt.

"Haven't you heard, Oneechan?" one of the young punks asked, with his hands in his pockets. They both wore black school uniforms, being a few years older than her, and yet they also towered over her, menacingly. "They say there's a vampire on the loose around here. A cute thing like you shouldn't be walking around all alone..."

"Yeah..." the other boy nodded."You should have one guy or two around to protect you. They say bad things happen to girls who walk all alone after dusk..."

"Sun hasn't set down yet," she said, struggling to seem firm, trying to take a page from Roberta's attitude and failing miserably. "And I can look after myself. Let me pass, please."

"Sun isn't out yet? Great, it's early enough then," one of them snorted. "Let's hit a karaoke bar, okay? Forget your patrons. Those fat cats won't need to eat for a while..."

"Let me go," she asked, attempting to stand her ground. "I am expected to be back at home shortly."

"Shit, Oneechan, just stop shakin' around like a scared puppy," the larger boy laughed. "Let you go? We ain't even grabbed you yet..."

"Yeah, don't be so pushy," one of them reached over to grab her by a hand. "We just wanna be friendly, that's all. Relax. You'll have more fun and live longer that way..."

She was about to yell for help when another male voice called out strongly.

"You heard her! Let her go!"

Lazily, the delinquents looked around to look at a boy of 16 or 17 years of age, short and rather thin, wearing jeans and a blue and white sweater, standing near and looking angrily at them. He had short black messy hair and large black eyes, and his fists shook in place nervously.

One of the punks stalked towards him. "And why should we, ya little turd? Who says you can just show up and boss us around? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"Hey, I know him," the other delinquent spoke. "He's the little shitface who works at the grocery store. The only who raises a fuss whenever I try to swipe a magazine away."

"It's him? Huh," the other punk snorted. "He's so bland I had forgotten him. Well, White Knight-sama, there's something I always do to bland do-gooders who try tellin' me what to do..." He cracked his fists before punching the boy in the stomach.

"Oooofff!" the boy recoiled back.

"Wait! Don't-!" Siesta advanced, but the delinquent near her kept her firmly grabbed by a wrist.

"Where do you think your goin', Oneechan? It's dangerous to get in a fight between two men!"

"I told you to let me go!" she struggled. "That isn't a fight! It's just cruel bullying!"

The short boy continued receiving the full blunt of his attacker's rage, as he was punched time and time again without getting a chance to defend himself. Siesta watched on with horror for a few moments, but when she was about to yell again, she saw another figure quietly approaching down the boulevard.

She was wearing the same maid outfit as her.

Her black hair made up into a bun.

"Fabiola-san!" Siesta gasped hopefully.

The punks both gave the newcomer an annoyed glare.

"Who's this other chick?"

"Look, she's another Maid Cafe Cosplayer. We're in luck! Now there's one for each one."

"Now you're talking. But I call dibs on the first one."

"Gotcha."

Unconcerned, the second maid stopping before her, looking at the coughing battered boy on his knees, then at Siesta. "Are you okay, Siesta-san?"

"Ah... ah, yes, I am. But he... He..."

"Ojou-sama was growing concerned about your lateness, so Fubuki-san sent me to look for you," the maid with the slight but strange foreign accent formally announced. "Sorry I took so long."

The bullies loomed over her.

"Hey, don't try to ignore us, Oneechan!"

"Yeah, you're hurting our feelings! At least tell us your name!"

The foreigner bowed while grabbing her white apron up with both hands. "Allow me to introduce myself then. I am currently under employment of the Yukihiro Zaibatsu. My work is to handle miscellaneous chores around the local Yukihiro properties, and my name is Fabiola Iglesias. Pleased to meet you."

They chuckled. "Oh, I can say you're going to be pleased."

"You seem new at town, Honey. What if we give you a good tour of Academy City at night?"

The pummeled boy tried to stand up to stop them, but Siesta crouched down next to him, gently holding him back. "No, please," she whispered. "Fabiola-san knows what she's doing. Trust her."

"Siesta-san and I have no time to waste with the likes of you. Please begone," Fabiola spoke matter-of-factly. "Otherwise, I will be forced to take you off the way myself."

They growled, rushing on her like hawks zeroing on a bunny. "You little bitch! Gaijins should show more respect while here!"

With a sigh of resignation, Miss Iglesias moved quickly, dodging the first boy, then quickly grabbing him by a forearm and lifting him up, slamming him down onto his friend.

"You damn wacko!" the larger one got up, pulling a switchblade out. "I'm gonna mark that pretty face and then some!"

"Don't make me laugh." Instead of pulling back, she simply jumped ahead, avoiding the blade, head-butting him in the stomach, and grabbing him by the wrist and twisting, until a loud snap of bones was heard along with a yowl, and the switchblade fell down from limp fingers.

The weapon was quickly picked up by the second young thug, but Fabiola just gave him an annoyed glare while slamming his larger friend against a tree's trunk. "Are you sure you want to do that?"

The smaller punk trembled in place for a moment before shaking his head and dropping the switchblade down.

"Wise decision," Fabiola droned before tossing his friend on him as if she had just tossed a doll. "Now listen well, please," she calmly asked while placing a foot on the first thug's crotch and pressing down painfully. "I refuse to be amicable with hooligans like you, but I still have held myself back because Ojou-sama dislikes messes. Please stop bothering my colleague and the boy with her, or I will be less considerate next time." To prove her point, she pressed her foot down more, causing a loud agonic yell from her victim. "And just in case you think of ganging up with any more friends of yours, please keep in mind my superiors would take that as a grave offense against our household, and they're much more skilled than me. Do we have an understanding on the matter?"

Both delinquents nodded desperately.

"Excellent," she released them. "Now please just disappear from our sight."

They ran away screaming the very next moment.

"Hmmm..." she shook her head.

"Fabiola-san!" Siesta raced to hug her. "Thank you so very much!"

"I only followed orders from Fubuki-san and Roberta-san..." she began to speak dryly, but then she smiled and caressed Siesta's hair, "But I would have come even if I hadn't received them. Honestly, what will we do with you and Taeko? Hopefully Ojou-sama will never have to rely on you for protection..."

Then she looked at the recovering boy.

"Are you sure he wasn't troubling you as well?"

"Oh, of course he wasn't!" Siesta made clear. "As a matter of fact, he was defending me before you arrived!"

Fabiola bowed to the boy. "Thank you for helping our worthless colleague, Mister..."

"Saito! Hiraga Saito!" the boy bowed back. "It was my pleasure! I'd do it again without a second thought!"

Fabiola nodded. "It's always good to meet a true gentleman. But I'm afraid we must leave. Can you find your way back to your home alone?"

He laughed it off. "Yeah, I'm not that banged up! And I always take this way after my part-time job. Don't you worry."

"You have my infinite thanks," Siesta blushed charmingly, bowing to him as well. "My name's Siesta. If you ever have businesses with the Yukihiro Zaibatsu, I'll attend you as best as I can."

The boy's face flushed red, steam nearly coming out of his ears. "O-Okay! Nice to meet you, too! G-Goodbye!" He quickly took off.

Fabiola smirked softly. "Ojou-sama will get angry if she learns you were wasting time on a date, without telling anyone..."

"It-It wasn't that! I just met him!" Siesta nervously gathered her groceries together, all the while taking a mental note of finding out where did he work and start buying there from now on.

"Okay, I'll believe that," Fabiola let it to slide. "And I won't tell them, either."

"Again, I must thank you. You are a real lifesaver."

"Don't mention it," Miss Iglesias began to walk away. "But what did take you so long, then?"

Siesta lowered her gaze ruefully. "I was... giving a friend news from home."

* * *

><p><em>Evangeline's Cottage:<em>

The night was starting to fall quietly all over the woods, faint moonlight filtering itself through the windows. Inside of a darkened room, Chachamaru sat before a computer. Evangeline waited lazily sitting on the lower frame of a large window; computer researching was a boring mystery for her. Videogame playing was okay, of course, but beyond that, she stuck to the strictly old fashioned. If she had to read on something by herself, she'd just pull a dusty old tome from the library.

"How is it going?" she finally asked, letting a kittenish yawn out.

"I believe we can proceed with it," Chachamaru quietly said. "It seems like my theory was correct after all. Besides the curse of the Thousand Master, there's actually another factor inhibiting your powers, Master. The electrically powered barrier circling the campus is playing a restraining role between your magic reserves and your biochemistry, dampening your magic output. However, that barrier demands for a huge amount of energy to work."

"To the point, Chachamaru," Eva said. "Can we do it, or not?"

"Yes. This weekend's programmed blackout, while brief, should allow you to regain use of your vampiric powers as long as you boost them up with your Western magic. And they shouldn't be expecting a counterattack from you before the next full moon. However, it still won't allow you to leave campus, and the effect will be as short lived as the blackout itself."

"More than enough time to crush the Boya," Evangeline tightened a fist. "It's worth the effort."

Chachamaru lowered her eyes as if her spirits had sunk down.

"Why do you care so much about him?" the blonde disdainfully asked, having noticed it. She always noticed everything.

"He is... like a kitty," the gynoid mused.

"What?"

"So easy to pet. So soft. So warm," she looked at her own cold hands.

Eva arched an eyebrow.

_"So... warm,"_ Chachamaru whispered, almost longingly.

Evangeline took out her key. "Right. Obviously, you need to get laid…"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	7. A Secret Date! Cheerleaders, Sortie!

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to original proofreader Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>A Secret Date?! Cheerleaders, Sortie!<strong>

* * *

><p><em>Next Saturday Night:<em>

As much as Chamo had insisted on the need of training in the use of Artifacts, especially together, it had been truly difficult, borderlining the nearly impossible, to pull that off. They simply had nowhere to do that. Misora's club had meeting every other day, and finding a large empty lot away from curious eyes at an overpopulated campus had proved to be a task beyond any of the team members' capacities.

The team, Chisame thought as she lazily tapped on her keyboard. It was so weird to think of them as that. Maybe 'Desperate Temporal Alliance to Survive' would be more accurate, although Sensei and the other idiots seemed to be almost warming up to the notion of becoming a group now. Although they all had agreed on drawing a line at wearing uniforms, much to Chamo's disappointment. He had placed such high hopes on his miniskirted designs…

Regardless, she, at the very least, had found a good use for her own Artifact. With the mice's help, she had boosted her webpage's popularity to astonishing levels; from getting links all across the Web to improve her layout and image quality to degrees she never had thought possible. Kotokon's page had been left behind in the dust.

Chamo, of course, had been angry about her wasting time on that instead of using her Artifact for offense and defense practices, but she had silenced him out with a few fine cosplay pics.

Satomi had tested her Artifact with the Robotics Club a few times, passing it off as a design of her own creation. The results, she had said, were nothing short of amazing; she could benchpress nearly a ton or something like that, not to mention punching holes through walls, blah, blah, blah. That was the scary part. The scarier part was she was talking about improving upon it herself. The scariest part was Chisame was sure she could do it.

Misora had a harder time with hers, since it was a pain to find a place where to run faster than the Road Runner without bumping into something or, worse, someone. Unless she ran on the lake, but that had its own problems. But at least, she had said, it had secretly made finishing her chores at the church a lot faster and easier. Much more time to waste around doing nothing with Cocone afterward. Whoever 'Cocone' was. Sensei had said something about her being a friend of Misora.

Still, they should have a few more days left to find a practice place until the next full moon. With any luck, Eva wouldn't attack her even during that first full moon. Maybe she only was boasting, even! Yeah, fat chance.

Chisame sighed while she turned her computer off. The fruits of the Internet victory were highly sweet to munch onto, but after enjoying them, she actually felt somewhat empty. It had been too easy. It robbed her from a lot of the thrill, of the challenge.

Her gaze wandered over to Hakase, sleeping on the lower bed without any care in the world, drooling out of a corner of her mouth. As usual, the brat had sleepwalked over to lie at her side, right where he slept now clutching Satomi's blue pajama-clad body like a koala hugging its tree.

Hasegawa breathed out, undoing her ponytail so her long hair flowed down. For a moment she only stood there, relatively fresh off the shower, wearing only her panties and a very long white shirt, the top two buttons off revealing some developing cleavage, which covered past down her crotch and until the middle of her thighs. If the brat could see her then, she would have freaked out, almost as much as him, but as it was now, she actually could bear it.

The ermine slept heavily in his pilfered underwear drawer. Good thing, too. That at least kept him out of hers.

Chisame paused before going up to her bunk, watching at both of her placidly sleeping human roommates.

Sensei had not slept with her in days. Was it a result of Hakase's bed simply being more at hand, or did he, for some reason, just prefer her nightly company?

Eh. As if Chisame cared.

Still, she didn't move yet.

She hugged her upper body. The night was cold.

For a moment, she wondered how would it feel... to...

The teenager debated what to do with herself for a few moments, and in a full state of good mind, her rational part would have won fair and square. But she was sleepy and feeling cold, and for some stupid reason, snuggling over with them looked like a good idea. Only for a few brief moments, yeah. No more.

Just to know how would it feel like. For that only time, and nothing more.

Quietly, in a perfect silence, she wobbled ahead working herself into the bed. Awkwardly, she maneuvered her body behind Sensei's, lying down touching his back with her chest, very slightly. He squirmed a bit, made an incoherent sound, but never opened his eyes. Half-satisfied with the result, she passed an arm over him, then to lazily envelope it over Hakase's petite frame as well.

And it felt good.

Really good.

It was so freaking wrong.

She was holding them both close to her, and it was disgusting and stupid and bothersome, but at the same time, it just felt too warm and comforting to describe it with words.

She closed her eyes, muttering to herself. She only would enjoy a hour or two of that, then go back to her own bunk and forget all that ever happened. Yes, now that was a good plan! A really great one, yessir.

She slowly fell asleep with her chin coming to rest upon Negi's right shoulder.

In his dreams, Chamo shuddered, and he wondered why he could want to wake up from a dream of being declared Overlord of Panties…

* * *

><p>Sunday Morning.<p>

Negi woke up spurred the soft chuckles coming from near the bed. He lifted his eyelids vaguely thinking they seemed to weigh a ton now.

Then he found himself sandwiched between a sleeping Hakase before him, and a sleeping Chisame from behind. His first reaction was to panic, but his survival instincts told him to ease down immediately.

_How do I get in these situations? _he despaired to a level that would have made Itoshiki-sensei proud. _Since I arrived to Mahora, it's been a succession of events like this. Things of this caliber never happened at Merdiana..._

No, wait, it happened there too, he told himself, remembering the incident with Anya, the dishwasher and the garden hose. Not to mention the infamous event involving him, Anya, Nekane, that toaster and a huge jar of butter. It had taken them one week to explain it to everyone, and three more to get Chamo stop laughing.

Chamo. Chamo was chuckling at them right now, too, with a paw over his mouth, watching from his bed at the drawer. Why wasn't Chamo helping him? Why did he choose just to chuckle? And why did he, Negi himself, remotely feel like killing him now?

So busy he was dwelling on it, he failed at first to notice Chisame was beginning to stir up. When he did notice, it only paralyzed him with further fear, so he could do nothing but look at her with gigantic round eyes and a face frozen in a rictus forced grin when she lazily opened her eyes up.

"G-G-Good m-morning..." he stammered.

The girl yelped as she recoiled away from him, but after that, against his expectations, she did not punch him or cover his face with a pillow. She only looked back at him with an equally terrified expression before attempting to assume a calmed and indifferent stance.

"G-Good morning," she dryly nodded, sitting up. Then she realized the upper two buttons of her shirt were undone, and she buttoned them back quickly, turning her back on him. For a moment she only remained still, sitting at the bed's edge with her bare feet hanging down.

She couldn't show any sort of lack of self-control now, or he could take it the wrong away. Better to act as if nothing had happened at all. Yes, she decided, that was the best course of action. Even explaining herself would be mostly pointless.

"I'll fix breakfast up," she tried to sound normal, standing up and stiffly heading for the kitchen. "R-Remember, we have promised to meet up with Kagurazaka, Konoe and Shiina in a few hours."

She was so stunned she even failed to notice Chamo's presence, leering at her as she passed by.

"Ah... Yes. Thanks," her teacher said in the same tone, counting himself lucky she couldn't look at his face now. He had been given a brief glimpse of her panties as she stood up.

_Again, what have I done to get myself in these situations?, _he ruefully wondered.

Right then, however, his silent musings were interrupted as Hakase put a hand on his left shoulder and pulled him towards herself.

"Kazuya-semmmpai..." she muttered in dreams. "I'm so mmmglad you're mbmack... There's smmmthing I culdnt tll ou bak thennn..."

He couldn't help but shrieking at that new twist of things.

* * *

><p>At the very least, it was a pretty sunny day, Chisame thought as they stepped out into the open.<p>

Granted, she disliked having the sun casted so strongly upon her. Perhaps she indeed was a bit of a hikikomori after all. But still, it was... pretty, yeah. Negi sure seemed to think so, as he inhaled deeply, with a large smile on his face and Chamo perched on his right shoulder.

"Ahhhh!" the boy said. "Now this is enough to lift anyone's spirits up... Are you all sure we shouldn't call Misora-san and ask her to come with us?"

"She said she needed to spend more time with her friend, remember?" Chisame threw her hands up. "And frankly, I think we deserve a break from her. It's bad enough we'll have to endure the cheerleaders all day long."

"That's no way to talk about a teammate, Chiu-chi," Chamo told her, wagging his tail around. "I'm going to tell Miso-chi!"

"My world crumbles," Hasegawa grunted.

"Perhaps we should reconsider our attendance there, as well," Hakase pondered as she walked on, with her head hanging a bit down. She had to wear a dress again, and she hated it. And even sandals, too. Ugh. Why had Chisame picked that for her? It wasn't like it would make her any prettier after all, not like it mattered either.

Of course, she could have picked her clothes herself, but years of depending upon others for it had left her a total failure on the matter. And any attempt to just pick her own style for the event, if you could call it so, was met with a vehement 'You won't embarrass us in public!' from Chisame.

In contrast, Chisame was wearing jeans and a plain white T-shirt. Why the double standards?, Hakase wondered vaguely. Then it hit her that, unlike herself, Chisame did look good even when wearing that.

How (almost, if she had cared) depressing.

"You don't want to go? Why?" Negi sounded disappointed.

"I'd have preferred to perform investigations and updates upon my Artifact," Satomi replied matter-of-factly. "I see no actual point on wasting our time in such frivolous enterprises."

"You're just afraid to meet Shiina up close and personal again," Chisame snarked.

"That... That isn't true!" the junior scientist claimed.

"Ah?" Negi blinked. "What are you talking about?"

Ignoring him, Chisame poked Hakase's large forehead with a finger. "I've seen you avoiding her at classes."

"And... And you avoid everyone at classes, but that doesn't mean anything either!" the other girl protested.

Negi looked back and forth at them, utterly confused. "Did... Shiina-san do anything bad to you, Satomi-san?" he asked.

"No!" the black haired girl said.

Chamo chuckled cagily, then, knowingly, decided to change the matter back. "Sato-chi, if we start cancelling all social compromises, people could start suspecting the Bro hides a secret! And besides, spending all time training and no time at all enjoying ourselves dulls our senses out and tires us down, making us easy preys!"

"You only want to meet more girls," Hakase mumbled under her breath.

"Now that's something we can agree on," Chisame nodded.

The three of them marched on, with Negi now more puzzled than ever. Soon they reached the bus stop, and in a matter of mere minutes they were at the meeting point in the Academy City Commercial District.

They found Kagurazaka Asuna, clad in a black skirt with gray T-shirt and matching shoes, waiting for them alone at a corner, keeping her arms crossed.

"Kagurazaka-san!" Negi ran up to her. "Good morning! You look good today!" He looked around. "Huh? But where's Konoe-san...?"

"Oh. Good morning, brat," she said, snapping out of her thoughtful silence. "Hello to you too, Prof and Chisame."

"Hi," Chisame neutrally replied.

"Has something happened to Konoka-san?" Hakase asked the redhead.

Asuna denied with her head. "Nah, nothing serious. She only had... a few last minute things she had to do. She asked me to tell you she's sorry."

"That's a pity," the boy sadly commented.

"And where are the Three Stooges?" Chisame questioned the taller girl.

"They always are late, everywhere," Asuna put the fingers of her right hand on her own forehead. "It takes them hours to stop powdering their noses before going anywhere." Then she scowled, seeing Chamo happily wagging his tail in circles while looking at her. "Ugh, why did you bring that rat? They won't let us walk into any decent restaurant carrying that!"

"That's what I was telling Sensei," Chisame sighed, defeated. "But he can be so stubborn at times..."

Negi gave her a wounded look. "I promise he won't be a bother. Last time, he felt so alone at home..."

Asuna, meanwhile, pointed a finger at the staff hanging from Negi's back. "Hey, brat. By the way, do you ALWAYS carry that stick around?"

"Yes, he does," Hasegawa replied for him once more.

"It's a precious family heirloom, Kagurazaka-san," the child answered very politely.

"I see..." Asuna said with some vague and lingering melancholy suddenly sweeping into her voice.

"Something wrong?" Chisame asked.

"No, no, nothing!" the Baka Red laughed it off, slapping herself on the back of the neck two times. "Never mind."

Hakase, meanwhile, seemed to be breathing easier. Honestly, she had been dreading the perspectives of close contact with Shiina ever since the confusing small incident at Iinchou's pool. She couldn't tell exactly why, and certainly didn't want to at all, but still, the feeling was there. Now that was an area it was better left unexplored and undiscovered.

So naturally, the universe made itself sure to bring Shiina in roughly two seconds afterward.

"HELLOOOOO, EVERYONEEEEEEE!"

Satomi stiffened at the three chorusing voices coming from behind her. Chisame only groaned, while Asuna waved a hand at the newcomers, and Negi smiled at them with a hearty greeting. Chamo was doing his best to keep on acting as a simple normal pet, but his joy at meeting the cheering trio was still evident.

"Prof-chan! You came, after all!" Sakurako hugged her before anyone else, giggling and apparently not noticing her subtle discomfort at all.

"Urk," Hakase only could make a tiny awkward sound. Thankfully, Shiina let her go immediately to go hug Chisame and finally Negi. "Oh, and you too, Chisame-chan! And Negi-kun! Oh, I'm so happy!"

"You... You are welcome..." Negi eeped as Sakurako pressed her chest against his throat before dropping him down.

"Hey, Asuna!" Madoka gave the redhead five. "Where's Konoka?"

"Family matters," Asuna surmised with a shrug of her shoulders. "Nothing she could do about it. Sorry."

"Well, there's always a next week," Misa commented before patting Negi on the head. "Why, hello there, Negi-kun! Ready to have the day of your life at the city?"

"Yes!" he nodded firmly.

"Well, then, where do you want to go first?" the purple haired cheerleader... leader... asked him. "Shopping?"

"Karaoke?" Sakurako asked with a hopeful tone.

"Amagi Brilliant Park?" Madoka added in.

"I don't know..." he blinked. He had not planned that far; he had just assumed the girls would lead there. The boy turned his gaze towards Chisame for help, but she only waved her hands in front of herself and said,

"Anything's fine with me! Really!"

"Yeah, same thing here..." Satomi nodded softly.

Misa sighed and shook her head while closing her eyes. "What we have here is a serious case of people who doesn't know how to have fun."

"What do you suggest, Doctor Kakizaki?" Madoka asked her with a chuckle.

Misa grinned, lifting an index finger up. "Glad you asked, Nurse Kugimiya. My diagnose is a full day therapy of rest and relaxation! Starting with an overdose of window shopping, and buying this poor kid something decent to wear beyond those horribly boring formal suits!"

"There... there is no need for that!" Negi nervously chuckled.

"Oh, but we insist!" Misa cooed. "It's the least we can do for our dear teacher!"

Chisame could say from that point Misa only wanted an excuse to undress and dress him up.

Less than ten minutes later, Chisame had been proved to be right on her suspicions.

"Uwaa! No, Kakizaki-san, no! I can do that by myself!" his voice yelled from behind the curtains of the dressing stand at the store.

"Don't be so shy, Negi-kun!" Misa's voice musically laughed in a crystalline way from behind the same curtains. "Men always need help to dress up properly; otherwise you just make a mess out of yourselves. Now unfasten that buckle! The pants are next!"

The graying saleswoman waiting outside next to the other girls chuckled with a hand over her mouth. "He's a very respectful boy. That's strange to see in these times. Which one of you is his sister?"

"None of us," Satomi plainly said. "He's our homeroom teacher."

The woman was left speechless. "... Oh."

Negi re-emerged into sight wearing more casual pants and a solid black T-shirt with the stylized design of a white wing on his chest. "I think... I think I'll pick this one," he said.

"I told him to choose another thing," Misa bemoaned, "But he can be very stubborn. I can't believe he wants to wear that ugly black thing when he can wear something much cuter and more modern like... this!"

She held another T-shirt, this one displaying a colorful and extravagant rainbow design, up, for the others to see.

Chisame, Satomi, Asuna and Madoka all made disgusted faces.

"Actually, I can't blame him!" Asuna admitted.

"Seriously?" Sakurako pointed at the piece of clothing Misa favored. "I think this one's much better, too."

"They have no taste, Sakurako-chan. Let them be," Kakizaki feigned an offended humph.

"I'm sorry...!" Negi laughed weakly. "But for some reason, I really like this one," he looked down at the wing drawing. "It's... cool looking."

"Yeah," Asuna smiled. "Yeah, it is."

Then there was the briefest silence until Misa turned to the saleswoman. "So, how much is it?"

"Kakizaki-san, no!" Negi started. "I insist on paying for it!"

"Hush, hush," the violet haired girl silenced him. "I said it'd be on me, and I'll be offended if you contradict me."

Now that had managed to close his mouth down. "...Okay, sorry."

Chisame sighed to herself again. Honestly, he was just too easy to manipulate.

* * *

><p>"YAHOOO! What a great weather!" Sakurako stretched her arms up as they all walked out into the street.<p>

"You're so right!" Misa beamed, keeping Negi grabbed by an arm as he carried the bag with the folded suit he had taken off in his other hand. "Okay, let's buy some clothes for us now!"

"Ehhhh?" Sakurako blinked. "I thought we'd go to the karaoke after that!"

"That sounds good too," Misa agreed. "Fine, let's do it!"

"That can wait!" Madoka pointed at the other side of the avenue. "Look, the matinee session is about to start!"

They all looked to the movie theater heavily featured in the mall the black haired cheerleader pointed at. The large posters on its walls showed image after image of a tall, tough looking guy with huge sideburns and an even bigger brown Afro, holding a large gun in each hand.

"NABESHIN: THE MOVIE?" Negi said.

"I love American-style action movies!" Madoka gushed. "And remember, we have a blackout tonight, so we can't catch the evening show! We always can do the karaoke after we finish here!"

"Alright, it doesn't look that bad..." Asuna nodded thoughtfully. "I kinda liked the TV show, so the movie shouldn't be that bad..."

"The TV show was the best!" Madoka slammed her right fist against the open palm of her left hand. "It was amazing! I have all the DVDs!"

"Ahhh... Seriously?" Negi brightened up. "Sounds great...! We never had that show at Wales, but I'd like to see it!"

"Then let's go!" Misa began to pull him towards the mall. "You too, sleepyheads! Or we'll lose the best seats!"

"Come on, Prof-chan!" Predictably, Sakurako grabbed Hakase and similarly pulled her away with herself. Madoka simply strode right behind them, humming happily.

Chisame and Asuna dragged behind.

"I think it's a stupid show," Hasegawa confided in a low voice.

Asuna shrugged. "Not bad to kill some time off. If it makes them happy..."

Misa pampered on Negi again, buying him the tallest order of soda, popcorn and candy available. The teacher had thanked her with truly childlike enthusiasm, and silently, Chisame decided to let Kakizaki have her way with him for now. After all, he finally was behaving his age. That had to be a good thing. She firmly pushed aside the little voice in her head reminding her that was how child-molesters acted toward their marks…

They sat in the closest row to the screen they could find, although the theater was mostly full by then. Madoka first, then Asuna next to hers, then Chisame, with Hakase at her side. Sakurako and Satomi's other side, and Negi between her and Misa. Chamo chose to cuddle down into Misa's lap, rubbing himself too closely against her crotch for her comfort, although she still allowed him to stay there.

The 'NABESHIN' logo appeared on the giant screen as the classic music from the TV show started to play. Madoka swooned.

"His name is Watanabe Shinichi!" the narrator's voice began to boom through the theater. "A man with no past, a living legend traveling the world in a never ending journey for revenge... and justice!"

Two loud gunshots were heard, making Negi jump in place.

"It's all part of the classic opening!" Misa eased him down with a laugh. "Nothing else, Negi-kun!"

"Eh, heh heh, yes, sorry..." he quickly nodded.

"Along with his loyal allies, Antonio, Tetsuko the Mysterious Lady, and the Space Butler, Nabeshin fights the evil forces of the sinister Syndicate while looking for his wife and daughter!" the narrator continued.

"I heard he finally finds them in this movie," Madoka whispered to Asuna.

"Then the story ends here?" Asuna whispered back, disbelieving. "No way!"

"It doesn't," Chisame mumbled, annoyed, just to get them to shut up. "And if you don't keep quiet, I'll tell you all the spoilers I learned from the Internet."

"I thought you didn't like the show enough to-" Asuna started.

"Space Butler dies at mid-movie!" Chisame shot back without giving her any time to finish.

"AHH! STOP TALKING, YOU SPOILING FIEND! I'LL SHUT UP!" Madoka covered her ears with her hands just as the public behind her angrily hushed her.

"... Space Butler?" Negi babbled.

"It's... that kind of show..." Misa laughed weakly.

* * *

><p>The group watched how the Hero's car spun around in the air, then crashed back against the ground, giving several turns before stopping, with the cars of the bad guys gathering around it. As the Hero crawled out and began shooting his enemies dead, Asuna commented, "You know, I've always wondered why no one in those cars breaks his neck when that happens."<p>

"That's very morbid, Asuna, " Madoka replied.

"But the car spins around, crashing against the ground several times, hard enough to end up a mess! I mean, I haven't ever been in one of those myself, but I figure there's a good chance of snapping your neck there."

"I figure there's a good chance of the audience snapping our necks if you don't keep it quiet," Chisame hushed them.

Several murmurs of approval could be heard from the back rows.

Madoka whistled sinking into her seat. "I always wished to live dangerously."

"I see why you enrolled into Mahora, then," Chisame answered.

* * *

><p>Negi really wanted to move his right arm.<p>

The only problem being Misa wasn't letting it go.

"Kakizaki-san..." he whispered.

"Just call me Misa. What is it?"

"My arm is kind of numb..."

"Oh, dear! Never worry, I'll massage it so it feels better!"

"No, no! I only need—" He shuddered while her soft petite hands started to rub up and down his arm. "I-I only need—"

"Does it feel good, Negi-kun?" she playfully purred.

The responsible citizen part of Chisame that heard this pointed out Misa seemed to be trying to follow the plot of a hentai doujin. She told it to sit down and shut up.

"... Yes. That's exactly the problem," he squirmed.

"You need to relax. Let me work on that," she started massaging his shoulders now.

Yup, definitely the plot of a hentai doujin.

He gasped. "I-I-I think I need to use the restroom!"

"Oh! I can help you with—"

"NO, PLEASE!"

"— I only wanted to show you the way..."

At that point, Asuna felt compelled to ask, "Why would you know the way to the men's toilets?"

Someone must have finally gotten sick with the noise, because at that exact same moment, a discarded Pepsi can bounced on her head from behind.

* * *

><p>With a sigh, Negi finally returned from the bathroom just in time to see his students watching at the screen with huge and paralyzed eyes.<p>

"Girls? What's wro—" Then he looked at the screen again and understood. His jaw hung open at the sight of the current scene.

"Kumi-Kumi-san..." Nabeshin was lustily panting.

"Oh, Nabeshin..." the woman under him sighed.

Chisame rushed over to Negi and blocked his eyes with her hands. "Wh-Who the Hell decided this movie was PG?"

"Well..." Sakurako blinked, scratching her right cheek. "The shadows make a good job of hiding the worst parts, I think..."

Misa looked down at her own lap with disgust. "Negi-kun! Your ermine has—he has—!"

"Huh. That'll leave a stain," Hakase took a good look at it. "You should see how many of Chisame's panties he has—"

Chisame just grabbed the Pepsi can Asuna had crushed down and tossed it onto Satomi's head before she could finish the sentence.

* * *

><p>Misa returned wiping her hands clean and helplessly looking down at her skirt. "I'll need to buy a new one after we're out."<p>

"I'm so deeply sorry, Kakizaki-san, " Negi apologized again, keeping Chamo now firmly seated on his knees.

Misa just gave him a casual hug. "Don't be. It's not your fault. So, what did I miss?"

"They have just revealed Tetsuko was really a man, and they tossed another two cans on Asuna's head, " Madoka whispered.

The redhead was rubbing her aching head. "Why do I have to be the target when you guys make noise?"

"The bells make you the most visible target in the dark?" Satomi postulated.

"Hush, hush!" Madoka said. "Look! Space Butler is about to—!"

"_Adios... Amigos..._" the man with the colorful hair had just pressed a button and blown himself to pieces along with his enemies.

"SPACE BUTLERRRRRR!" Nabeshin cried out. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"I still don't understand who was that man supposed to be," Negi confessed softly.

"I'll lend you my DVD collection," Madoka promised.

Negi still was puzzled. "Shouldn't they have made the movie more accessible for those who didn't watch the series?" he wondered.

"Yeah, like we did with the Ala Alba OVA?" Hakase dryly asked.

Everyone else just gave her a blunt and sudden 'Don't touch that topic' stare.

"... Sorry," she quickly fell back in character.

* * *

><p>The climax was a really intense and frightening one, with all the aliens and ghosts and the hook-handed murderer and everything else. Intense enough to make Negi cling to Misa for emotional support, being harshfully reminded of a traumatic event in his past as soon as the snow began to fall around the combatants and the demons started to join the melee. Misa just smiled and cradled him against herself, under her arm.<p>

Sakurako was doing the same thing with Hakase, much to the latter's awkward annoyance.

"Sakurako-san..." she whispered.

"Wh-What, Prof-chan...?"

"You don't need to grab me so strongly..."

"Sorry..." the cheerleader looked at her with huge pleading puppy eyes. "It's just this part is really, really scary..."

Satomi softened down a bit. "Very well, then... I guess..."

Then a guy was abruptly cut by half, and both Negi and Sakurako yelped, hugging their respective supporters even more tightly.

Misa and Satomi all but melted down.

"Man, this is lame," Asuna grunted. "The series was much better. It's as if they're throwing everything and the kitchen sink in, and it just isn't working at all. Don't you think the same, Chisame?"

No reply.

Asuna looked aside to see Hasegawa was just too busy drawing on a small notebook to notice her. The redhead saw she was scrawling sketches of the heroine's dress up.

"... Why are you doing that?"

"I DON'T DO COSPLAY!" Chisame shouted without looking at her.

"... Ah."

Another can landed on Asuna's head. She only sighed by this point.

* * *

><p>"DIRECTOR-SAAAAAAAN!" the little girl wailed as she ran into her father's waiting arms.<p>

"POEMI-CHANNNN!" Nabeshin caught her into a strong loving hug.

"Why does she call him 'Director'?" Negi asked in the lowest possible tone.

"I'll explain you later," Misa promised, with a finger over her lips.

Madoka sobbed, running a tissue over her wet eyes. "... Beautiful. The moment we waited for through six full seasons...!"

Then a gunshot was heard from nowhere, and the little girl fell down against her father's body.

"POEMI-CHANNNNNN!" Nabeshin cried. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

The series' end theme began to sound as the words _**'TO BE CONTINUED...'**_ appeared in giant letters over the screen.

"...!" Madoka had her mouth fully open.

"So, the spoilers were right," Chisame huffed. "Man, this is almost as bad as Akamatsu's end for _Magic Knight Hinama_. Poor, poor Natsume. Or, um, so I heard…"

Yet another can landed on Asuna's head. The Baka Red had enough now; she sprang to her feet and tried to find her attacker in the darkness. "OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH! WHO'S THE WISEGUY! WHO?"

A young couple carrying their four years old son was already scurrying through the back door.

"Honestly, Shin-chan!" the young mother was sweating cold. "We can't bring you anywhere!"

"Gimme a break, Misae!" the child giggled despite the large fresh bump on his head. "I couldn't resist the sound of those bells!"

* * *

><p>"'Explosions fix everything'", Misa laughed as they walked out of the theater, mimicking Nabeshin's voice, "Indeed! Well, that was fun! Now let's hit the shops again!"<p>

"I dunno," Madoka looked at her wristwatch. "It's getting kinda late, and the blackout will start in a few hours. You sure we'll have enough time to do everything?"

"Yeah, I still want to hit the karaoke," Sakurako pouted.

"But I need to buy myself a new skirt now," Misa pointed down at the stain on her lap. "I'm not walking all the way back home with this!"

"It's just a simple stain..." Satomi said. "I get much worse ones on my clothes all the time, and yet I don't just throw them away..."

Misa gave her a brief condescending look. "No offense, Prof, but... some of us do have a social life to keep."

Hakase merely shrugged it off. "To each one with their priorities."

"Right," Misa said in the same tone.

Madoka rasped to break the sudden ice. "I have an idea...! Since we're so short in time, why don't we split in groups and have fun our own separate ways before going back home? We always can spend more time all together next week!"

"We can?" Chisame scowled.

"Ah, ha ha ha, of course we can..." Negi laughed stiffly to try and soften the blow of her bluntness. "Since we're on a short schedule, it's the best thing we can do..."

"Cool!" Misa grabbed him by an arm again. "Then you and me will go shopping for the rest of the afternoon!"

"N-Naturally, Kakizaki-san..." he agreed, still feeling guilty about Chamo's _faux pas_.

"Well, well!" Madoka said perhaps a bit too loud. "Then what if you come to the Amagi Brilliant Park with me, Asuna-chan, Chisame-chan?"

"Us?" Chisame blinked.

"Why exactly us?" Asuna asked.

Kugimiya forced a wide grin as she wrapped an arm around each one's shoulders, nearly tugging them along with herself. "Because why not, dummies?" she chuckled. "C'mon, c'mon, don't tell me you're afraid of rollercoasters!"

Asuna brightened up. "I love rollercoasters! Have they added one to the local fair?"

"Last month," the black haired cheerleader nodded.

"Then let's go!" Kagurazaka enthused.

"I don't like fairs that much..." Chisame began to protest.

"All the more reason for us to change your mind," Madoka insisted, now giving her a discreet 'Just play along, you idiot!' glare. "Come on, you won't regret it!"

"But... But where does that leave us?" Hakase doubted.

"You can go with Sakurako to the karaoke if you want," Misa proposed.

"But I've never been at a karaoke bar," Satomi lamely offered.

"There always must be a first time for everything," Misa pressed on.

Sakurako had her eyes very open, and a small trickle of sweat ran down her forehead. "R-Really, if Prof-chan doesn't want to go—"

Satomi paused at that, looking at the normally bubbly girl and feeling a tingle of something strange and unusual inside of herself. To determine exactly what it was, she attempted to compare it to other feelings she had gone through in the past, finally settling with a comparison with what she felt the time she blew the laboratory's roof off with an experimental rocket launcher.

Ah. Guilt.

"It's... It's not like I don't want to go with you..." she fumbled to find the right words. "It's just I... don't feel comfortable singing and doing such things..."

"D-Don't be silly!" Sakurako tried to laugh. "You have a very cute voice! It sounds like Kadowaki Mai's!"

"Who is that?" Hakase asked.

Misa chuckled while pulling Negi and Chamo along. "Well, it's better if we don't waste more time! We'll meet back at the Academy! And don't worry, Chisame-chan, I'll deliver Negi-kun right back at your door!"

"You'd better," Chisame mumbled under her breath.

"See you later, girls!" Negi waved a hand at them. "Please, return home early, okay?"

"The earlier we go, the earlier we'll finish, right?" Madoka chuckled, nearly dragging Asuna and Chisame along with herself in the opposite direction before pausing to give Hakase a wink. "Take good care of our Sakurako-chan, Prof!"

Satomi pointed at herself with a finger, incredulously. "Me?"

Next to her, Sakurako had fallen into a rather unusual for her silence, crossing her arms behind her back. As Madoka pulled the other two teens down the street despite Chisame's protests, she warily tilted her eyes towards Hakase. "So, um... You really sure you want to do this?"

Satomi sighed and wiped her glasses with a tissue. "Apparently I don't have an option, do I?"

Sakurako lowered her head a bit. "We can do anything else you want..."

Hakase pondered the offer, but then she caught glimpse of Shiina's oddly subdued expression, and for some reason, she felt buying spare parts was not that monumentally important for the time being. "I... I want to go to the karaoke," she forced herself to say.

Apparently Sakurako bought it, judging from the return of her standard huge smile. "You do? Oh, that's just wonderful!"

Happily, she grabbed her by a hand and guided her down another boulevard. "The best karaoke bar I know is this way! I'm sure you'll love it!"

"Ah-hah," the teen genius said with resignation.

Vaguely, she wondered if the cheerleaders knew any way of leading people around that didn't involve dragging them off.

* * *

><p>"I feel ill," Chisame lamented as she stepped down and away from the rollercoaster, rubbing over her stomach with a hand. At the background, long behind them, a family of three was harassing a guy in a Bonta-kun suit, or what seemed to be a guy in a mascot Bonta-kun suit, but… that's not really here or there.<p>

"Tsk, you have no guts!" Asuna, fresh like a rose, shook her head disapprovingly.

"No, I think I lost them at that highest turn up there," the girl with glasses sat down to rest on a bench. The annoying music blaring all around them bothered her, not knowing where Misa would drag Sensei bothered her, but above it all, her revolting stomach bothered her. All that junk food she had devoured at the theater was taking its revanche.

Madoka sat down next to her, fanning her with a magazine she had bought before entering the fair. "Geez, Chisame, it wasn't that bad. Since when hadn't you ridden a rollercoaster?"

The bespectacled girl sighed. Not since that time with Sora, Kodaka and Kobato, when they were children...

"It's been a while," she simply said.

"I can say," Asuna sat down at her other side, extending her legs ahead in a careless way. She looked up at the sky, her hair bells softly tingling in the breeze. After a brief silence, she said, "How long before the blackout?"

Madoka looked at her wristwatch. "Lemme see. It starts at eight, right? Three hours from now on."

"Then maybe we should get back already," Asuna mused.

"I agree," Chisame nodded, feeling somewhat better now, at least physically. "I've had enough 'fun' for a day; I only want to tuck myself in bed and sleep for hours."

"Ditto here," Asuna added. "I have newspaper duty early tomorrow."

"Newspaper duty?" her brown haired classmate asked.

"Hadn't I ever told you? I have a job as a papergirl. It helps me to pay my studies," the redhead answered.

Chisame now remembered Asuna was an orphan, or at least she thought she was. Where had she heard it? Well, that didn't matter; what mattered was, should she say something now? Asuna was smiling in a distant, nearly nostalgic and resignated way, looking past the park's crowd and into the distance.

"Someday, I'll repay the Dean all he's done for me," she said. "I don't even know why has he bothered to help me, but he has given me pretty much everything. From paying my tuitions to letting me live with Konoka. So I'm saving as much as I can to make up for it."

The other two girls just watched her without finding the right words, until Asuna finally sighed.

"Sorry. I didn't want to bother you with my life story!"

"It's no bother, Asuna-chan!" Madoka tried to laugh, patting her on a shoulder. She tood up right afterwards. "Then let's get back home! Everyone else will find their own way back!"

"I wouldn't be so sure in Sensei and Hakase's cases," Chisame exhaled while following the two more outgoing teenagers. "She gets lost anywhere but at a lab, and he's as scatterbrained as they come."

"C'mon, c'mon!" Kugimiya chided her. "Don'tcha trust Misa and Sakurako?"

Chisame gave her a glare. "You live with them. Honestly, do you?"

Madoka blinked before laughing again. "You got me there! But really, inane as they are, they still are good and reliable people."

"Hmmmm," Chisame looked aside.

They kept on walking, now in silence, since Madoka's mood seemed to have sunk down a little after that. Until she finally said quietly, "I guess you deserve to know."

"To know what?" Asuna asked.

"No, not you, her," the cheerleader pointed to Hasegawa. "Look, Chisame, you do care about Hakase, right?"

Chisame grimaced. "What do you mean with that?"

"I mean, you live together; you are always helping her with her clothes. No doubt you must cook for her too, seeing how bad she's at Home Economics. It's like taking care of a child, right?" Madoka questioned.

"Now that you mention it, yes, my life's like a daycare center lately," Hasegawa had to admit. "Your point?"

"Well, not anyone would put up with that. Hell, I wouldn't do it, and I have no shortage of headaches looking after Sakurako and Misa, either," she conceded. "So I know you really must care about her. Other people may say you're stuck-up and arrogant, but I can respect you for what you are..."

Chisame narrowed her eyes. "WHO does say that?"

Madoka chuckled nervously. "W-Well, that's not to be discussed either now or here...!" she said, while behind Chisame, Asuna rolled her mismatched eyes around. The cheerleader grew serious. "What matters is, from one long suffering babysitter to another, I can understand your feelings. And I don't think you deserve being left in the dark about this."

"About what?" Hasegawa pressed on.

Madoka sighed. "Isn't it obvious? You must have seen how Sakurako was about going to the karaoke with Hakase. And you must have seen how she has been looking at her at classes, too! Chisame, Sakurako is a simple person, but she can be very hard to understand at times. I have no idea why does she feel that way, but-"

"Wait a moment," Chisame interrupted her.

Even Asuna was catching on. "You don't mean-!"

Madoka nodded reluctantly. "Yeah. That's why Misa and me set her up to go with her. We are pretty sure she likes Hakase."

* * *

><p>Negi patiently waited standing next to the dressing room, without making a single sound. He just kept his eyes fixed in a straight line ahead, without looking at anything in particular as he kept on waiting for Misa to finish trying the large amount of clothes she had picked up.<p>

He was not really used to women who took so long with their dressing. Nekane had always been quick at everything she did, and Anya favored the fast and functional over the flashy and elaborate. Chisame never took long to dress up unless she was in her Internet hobby (which rarely happened when he was around), and Satomi... well, Satomi was happy putting on the closest thing at hand and calling it a done job.

Misa, he noticed, was very different, taking a long time, the rustling of cloth coming from inside again and again as she sweetly hummed a happy tune to herself. He remembered she was supposed to be at the school choir, and she truly had a beautiful voice.

A voice that now had just called on, "Negi-kun? Can you come in just a moment? Don't worry, I'm not naked," she lowered her tone a bit at that last part, although not enough to Negi's comfort.

"Oh, okay!" he walked in just to recoil with his face going crimson. Kakizaki had set her shoes aside, but also her skirt and blouse, standing with her back to him in nothing but stockings, bra and panties. All of them black, a far cry from her roommates' preference for white. He turned around just as quickly. "K-Kuh-Kakizaki-san! You said-!"

"I'm not naked," she calmly replied, cutting him off. "It's not worse than being in a bikini, really. And I need help with a zipper. I tried to put this on," she slipped into a red dress, which had its back fully unzipped, "But I can't reach all the way back. Normally, I'd ask Sakurako or Madoka for help, but..." She looked over her shoulder. "NEGI-KUN! You can look now!"

"Uh, s-sorry!" he tilted back... to face her back. Well, it at least was partially covered now. That was a start. "So..." he carefully grabbed the zipper up, "... Up all the way, right?"

"Right. But not too fast or hard, please. You might break it. It's very delicate. Take it slowly… yes, ease it like that… hmm, yesss…"

A woman who was passing by next to the dressing room blinked at hearing that coming from the inside, then sped away shaking her head to herself.

He zipped the dress up as best as he could. "It's ready, I think."

She turned aside to look at herself in the full body mirror, twisting around so she could see her own back, and then smiled widely. "It's perfect."

And she hugged Negi against herself without giving him a chance to escape, laughing melodically as she did so. "Thank you very much! You're a real sweetie!"

"Kuh-Kuhzzaki-samm, pleez!" his voice came muffled from where his face was buried between her modest, but decent sized and well rounded breasts. "Thss ss mmproper! Lemme go!"

She slapped his right shoulder playfully while allowing him to go and regain his erratic breath. "Oh, Negi-kun, everything's improper to you! But that's okay; it only makes you so much cuter!"

He sulked, pushing his glasses up his nose. "I'm your teacher; I'm not supposed to be cute..."

"Too bad you are," she grinned before walking out. "I'll take this one. As a reminder of the first time you saw me in my-"

"KAKIZAKI-SAN!"

"Just kidding, just kidding!"

From the corner of the dressing room he had been at, Chamo still was drooling all over the floor. He had seen such wonderful things for the last half hour... Being a small innocent looking animal was a true blessing sometimes.

Misa still was wearing the new red dress as the three walked back into the street, Negi now carrying two bags full with her latest buying. "Kakizaki-san, it's getting late..." he looked at the now reddish sky. "If we're late at the campus, the blackout will catch us outside..."

"Well, I'm counting on you to protect me," she winked an eye at him. Then the girl noticed he seemed truly worried and decided to humor him. "Oh, fine, you win. We'll go back home now. Happy?"

"Thank you. Sorry if I sound like a spoilsport," he apologized.

"You said it yourself, you're a teacher. You have to be a spoilsport," she joked. "But it's alright. Next Sunday, you can stop being a teacher for the day and just be my shopping spree pal again, can you?" the cheerleader asked.

He nodded. "Count on it!"

Chamo rejoiced as he followed them down the street.

Soon, however, Misa stopped abruptly. "Sensei! Look, over there!" she pointed at the other end of the avenue, with a repressed urgence in her voice. Negi followed her cue only to gasp at what his eyes wandered into.

Konoe Konoka, in a lovely fashionable yet sober and elegant white and red dress, sat at a restaurant, next to a large window, eating and cheerfully chatting with a young man seemingly in his early college years. He was very tall and handsome, with short black hair, and he wore a black suit with a white bowtie.

_"Konoe-san...!"_ the child whispered.

* * *

><p>"What are they doing there?" Misa wondered as she took a strategic position behind a lamppost.<p>

"Huh? Isn't it obvious?" Negi blinked. "They are eating and talking..."

The girl groaned. "I don't mean that, Negi-kun. I mean, why are they doing it? I never pegged Konoka as the type who would date older men behind her grandpa's back. Asuna, definitely, but not Konoka…"

"How do you know it's behind the Headmas-" he began, only to be silenced by a gesture of Misa.

"Because no grandpa would ever approve of that! Heck, mine spat fire when I started dating a boy my age..." she explained.

"Maybe he's only a relative..." the boy hazarded a guess.

"Only one way to know," Misa scowled, pulling her cellphone out. "I'm gonna call Asuna."

Negi sweated as the girl quickly pressed the phone's keys, then eagerly asked, "Hello? Asuna?"

Kagurazaka Asuna had already split from Chisame and Madoka, reaching the gates of the campus when she received the call. "Yeah, it's me. Misa? You still with the brat? You'd better return soon; Chisame may deny it, but I think she's very possessive about him..."

"Forget that!" Misa told her. "Do you know if Konoka has an older brother? Cousin? Tall, a hunk, black hair, perfect smile?"

"Huh...?" the redhead paused. "No, she's an only child, with no cousins I know of... Wait, why are you asking that?"

"Hold there a moment!" the cheerleader begged before taking a photo of the couple and sending it to Asuna through picture mail. Kagurazaka made a face when she saw her roommate's happy expression while Misa needled her on, "It's terrible! Her grandpa's going to disinherit her, I'm sure! What are we gonna do?"

Asuna's annoyed groan was loud enough for Negi to hear it. "Ah, **that**. Look, Misa, just don't get involved into it, okay? I'll explain it tomorrow. Just bring the twerp already and don't worry about Konoka, will you?"

"But, Asuna!" Misa all but yelled. "They might expel her from school! She might get pregnant, then forced into a loveless marriage! Or they could make her to abort, and she could die in the process, and-!""

"STOP JUMPING TO SUCH STUPID CONCLUSIONS AND JUST COME HERE WITH THE BRAT!" Asuna barked, then abruptly cut the call off. "Geez, those idiots!"

"Asuna?" Back at the shopping district, Misa blinked. "ASUNA! I can't believe it!" she madly fumed. "She dared to hang on me! The nerve of that idiot! She's Konoka's procuress, no doubt!"

"What's a procuress?" Negi questioned.

"Never mind that now," Misa moaned. "We have to get to the bottom of this! I can't believe that innocent looking girlie would get herself such a man before I did! Compared to that guy, my ex-boyfriend is a joke..."

Negi, with far less selfish purposes in mind, gave the unsuspecting couple a concerned look. "Then, do you think we should step in? If that man is taking advantage of Konoe-san, it's my duty to-"

Misa held him back grabbing him by an arm. "No, no!" She quickly waved for him to keep a low voice. "I want- I mean, we must learn more first. We won't get anything from confronting them. We should follow them around instead, to see who's leading who."

"That's indecent stalking and eavesdropping!" Negi was scandalized.

"We call it 'strategic compilation of key information' at Japan," Misa stated. "Now hide behind me, they're coming out..."

Indeed, the couple was leaving the restaurant now, happily walking down the street.

"Shouldn't you be going back home now, Konoka-chan?" he was asking her.

"I still have time, Mamo-chan!" she laughed. "You promised to help me with the suit first!"

"Suit?" Misa mumbled under her breath.

"Your guess is as good as mine..." Negi shrugged. He awkwardly followed Misa's lead down the street, with Chamo sticking to his heels.

Then he stopped briefly, looking back. Misa noticed, stopping as well to grab him again.

"Why are you doing that? If we aren't fast, we'll lose them!" she reminded him.

"Oh? Sorry! I just had a hunch someone was watching us..."

"You're just paranoid about Chisame's tyranny. C'mon! Hurry up!" she dragged him back to the chase.

Luckily, Konoka and the stranger had stopped as well, looking at the window shops of a large store of men's clothing. She was happily pointing at a formal tuxedo. "I love that one! Don't you think it's lovely, too?"

The young man laughed uneasily. "I guess I do! But I've never been big on tuxedos out of... special occasions! And even then, I prefer full evening wear..."

Konoka grabbed him by a hand and pulled him inside of the store. "Let's ask how much does it cost, Mamo-chan!"

"Sure, sure!" he easily agreed as they disappeared into the business.

From her hiding place behind what surely was the last mailbox at the 21th century's Mahora City, Misa's left eyebrow twitched insanely. "They're going... to marry!"

"SAY WHAT?" Negi's heart jumped up.

"It happens all the time! A rich young heiress is embezzled by a smarmy suitor who drains all her bank accounts and founds dead!" the cheerleader lectured. "Then she dies alone and forgotten, pregnant and barefoot at a seedy apartment, leaving two underfed children behind..."

Negi had started to sob. "Poor, poor Konoe-san...!"

A beat.

"Wait," the teacher sobered up. "Are you really sure that's a tuxedo for their wedding?"

Right then, Konoka walked out of the store humming happily while her companion carried a large package up. She turned to him smiling brightly. "Well, that's done! Now all I've left to do is to tell Grandpa! In the meanwhile, please keep the suit well hidden, will you, Mamo-chan? I don't want to spoil the surprise!"

"Oh, it's going to be a surprise, all right..." Misa whispered bitterly while Negi went pale. Chamo only chuckled perversely.

"Whatever you say, Konoka-chan," the tall man was saying. "Are you sure you don't want me to-"

"No, you don't need to, silly!" she laughed. "The girls will get ideas if they see you with me. I'll be okay, really. I know my way back perfectly."

He caved in. "As you wish. Take care."

"You too, Mamo-chan," She rose up to give him a chaste kiss on a cheek. "Goodbye."

Now that blew Misa and Negi's minds up.

They still were stunned when they noticed Konoka starting to walk away alone, heading back to the Academy, as happy as she ever could be.

"A-After her!" Misa urged.

"Y-Yessir!" Mr. Springfield followed her as quickly as he could. Still, they had to keep a distance, and some traffic lights on their way made them to lose track of Konoka for a few moments. When they finally caught back to her after turning a corner, they learned they all had taken a wrong turn leading to a very narrow street where two tall and punkish looking boys were harassing Konoka. One of them had a bandaged hand, as if it had been broken recently.

"-all we sayin' is you shouldn't be walking all alone, Imouto-chan..." the taller one lasciviously crooned.

"Yeah, what if we protect you all the way to your home..." the other one offered.

"No, thanks," Konoka cutely pouted, standing her ground unafraid. "I can take care of myself. Please let me go."

"Don't be so stuffy, Imouto-chan..." the taller one chuckled. "We ain't goin' to hurt you..."

"Konoe-san!" Without thinking about it, and paying no attention to Misa's attempt to hold him back, Negi stepped ahead in Konoka's defense...

... only to find out someone had just beaten him to it.

"I'm sure you won't," a calm, yet icy and stern female voice had just spoken, as a small, thin figure stepped in a flash, seemingly out of nowhere, between Konoka and the thugs.

Negi gasped in recognition. Student Number Fifteen of 2-A.

The Konoe girl inhaled deeply. "Setchan...!"

* * *

><p>Chiba Mamoru sighed to himself while walking back towards his apartment building. Spending a day with Konoka-chan was enough to drain anyone's energy off. Worse than any 'Orphan', in a way.<p>

He smiled with absent fondness. The girl, despite being too much for him to cope with, was still someone you couldn't help but being fond about. Even if only as a little sister of sorts.

He still was lost in those thoughts when he found two other girls standing on his way, before a large videogame shop. One of them had long, very long, golden blond hair, blue eyes and a red bow on the top of her head. Her companion was a bit shorter and thinner, with very short hair that was black in a nearly blueish tone, and while the blonde had a hyper, nervous expression on her face, this one had a very subdued and graceful semblance to her. Both wore casual clothes fitting girls of their age, and a small white cat sat next to the blond one's feet.

The girl with the bow angrily sipped on a can of Pepsi through a straw, while keeping her eyes fixed on the publicities displayed at the store. Walking closer, Mamoru could see they were announcements for the upcoming Sailor V videogame.

"I can't believe it..." the blonde muttered to herself, unaware of his proximity. "It's not fair... I'll never see a dime of royalties..."

Her friend laughed shakily. "Why would you see royalties out of it, Minako-chan...? For that matter, how would they know where to send it?"

The taller girl snorted in a highly unladylike fashion. "It's the principle of the thing!"

She sighed and finished her can, then carelessly threw it behind, over her shoulder. "I'm busted now, Ami-chan. Let's just head back home before the Old Man turns the lights off."

Unfortunately, the can had flown to crash against the face of a now rather annoyed young man who tapped on her shoulder from behind. Instinctively, the girl jerked back and away from him, assuming an oddly experienced fighting stance. "Hey you, pal! What's the big idea? Keep those hands off us!"

"Keep YOUR cans out of my face then, Missy!" he angrily replied, pushing the Pepsi down into her hands. Then he looked at both girls' awkwardly blushing faces and realized he hadn't chosen exactly the best words. "I, I mean, just look where do you toss things, will you? Careless kid... that's littering, that's what it is…"

"Well, forgive my hideous crime, will you?" the blond teen fumed. "I didn't mean to hit your supermodel face, but I'll still pay for the operations!"

He huffed, passing by along. "Save them for yourself!"

She tightened her fists and stuck her tongue out to him. "Idiot!"

But then she paused for a second, as she looked at his profile just as it turned away from him. "Hey, wait there a moment. Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"

He never stopped walking. "I'm sure I'd remember such an ugly and rude girl if I ever met you before."

"RUDE?" she exploded, making a myriad of obscene gestures at him. "You prissy nancy-boy, to find a rude person, just look into a mirror! Slimeball!"

"Minako-chan, please..." her calmer friend objected softly."There's no need for scenes..."

"You're right!" she grumbled, spinning around to walk in the exact opposite direction to his, and towards the Academy. "Let's go, Ami-chan, Artemis! There's no point on wasting saliva on him!"

The shorter girl and the cat sighed in powerless frustration while following her away.

That made Mamoru to stop for only a second, mildly intrigued, before keeping on walking his way as well.

Funny. He never had heard a cat sigh before.

* * *

><p>For some ubiquitously obvious, yet also impossible to precise reason that fully befuddled Hakase, she was feeling even worse and more at unease than she had expected.<p>

She sat in perfect silence staring at the completely happy looking and peppy Sakurako, who had taken over the small stage with her usual energy, the words musically flowing out of her in an almost supernatural way.

And Hakase didn't have the slightest idea about if she should feel impressed, embarrassed, or simply bored. Whatever the case was, she was idly regretting not taking on the offer to do something else and going to buy the spare parts now.

She didn't want to be there, no matter how beautiful and energetic Shiina's voice was.

_"Ponpon futte futte furimakutte saigo mo kihon mune no mae de kurosu! L · O · V · E raburii honjitsu mo owari ne ponpon areba nani mo nozomanai wa!"_

_"Dakedo tama ni namida ga dechau no yo onna no ko desu mono!"_

As the final chords of the music died down, the cheerleader, breathing heavier and with a wonderful smile, turned around to face the nearly expresionless scientist again. "Did you like it, Prof-chan?" she eagerly asked.

"Um, why, yes, it was... harmonically well constructed, and fitting all the esthetic properties of popularly accepted musical parameters I am familiar with..." Satomi nodded with slowness, more or less sure of having chosen the right words.

Sakurako blinked cluelessly before melodically giggling once more. "Oh, Prof-chan! The good thing about your flattery is knowing how much effort you put into wording it!"

Hakase nodded firmly and held her chin high. "I've always been a big believer of the need to express your ideas precisely through a rich vocabulary."

"Good!" Sakurako nodded back like a puppy on sugar, handing her the microphone. "Then put that vocabulary to good musical use! Sing a song for me, please?"

Satomi's hands fidgeted clumsily around the mike. "I don't know..."

"Only one song!" Sakurako asked, putting her hands together. "Then we'll go back home! But I really, really want to hear you singing! It's not fair I got to sing three times and you never did it!"

"But music isn't my field of expertise at all..." she attempted to protest.

"Well, you gotta start at some point, don't you? Don't worry, I'll pick the right song for you..." the cheerleader hummed spinning back and beginning to search through the selection of available themes. "Hmm, there's gotta be something here that suits you..."

Hakase cutely groaned to herself, closing her eyes. Even looking at Sakurako was awkward now, as the bubbly girl waved her hips and backside almost as if in purpose, in a way that was proving to be disturbingly stirring for the black haired teen. Strange, non-scientific and purely hormonal thoughts nibbled treacherously at the edges of her mind…

Slowly, Satomi half-opened her eyes back. Yes, Sakurako was, sure enough, still moving her perky posterior around to left and right, and if the innocent look on the cheerleader's face had not been combined with the inventor's utter ignorance on the matters of feminine seduction, the latter would have started suspecting of a deliberate ploy to entice her. Or not. It was, after all, still Hakase we're talking about.

Still, as it was, it was enough to make her close her eyes again, with a pale shade of pink appearing over her upper cheeks and the bridge of her nose.

* * *

><p>Negi stood paralyzed by uncertainty as Sakurazaki Setsuna calmly finished stepping in between Konoka and her two harassers.<p>

Konoka had just seen him, too, staring at him with wide, shocked eyes. "Negi-kun...? What are you doing here? And you too, Misa-chan?"

Before he could reply, the large bully with the bandaged hand angrily stepped forward until he almost was grabbing the unfazed Setsuna. "Hey, you her sister?" he asked. "I don't like the way you're looking at us. We only were being nice to her, that's all. If anything, you should be thankful..."

"She asked you to let her go her way," Sakurazaki countered coldly. "If you had truly tried to be helpful to her, you'd have honored her wishes."

"You little stuck up witch..." the large boy growled into her face. "Don't try telling us what to do..."

"Leave that girl alone!" Negi was now firmly advancing towards the older boys, holding his staff between his hands, despite Misa's panicked stare and Konoka's attempt to hold him by a sleeve.

The bigger ruffian scoffed at him. "Dammit, is everyone a white knight now? Stay outta this, brat, or I'll push that stick out your-

Then his friend nervously tugged on his shirt several times, pointing at something over Setsuna's shoulder . "D-Dude! Look at that! The chick's carrying a s-sword!"

The lead bully looked as well, only then noticing the long sheath the petite girl was carrying around. That stunned him for a moment, but as he saw the others' eyes fixed on him, he decided to gather his courage up. "S-So what? No scrawny chick with a training sword's going to scare me! I've been in many actual fights, and that beats that stupid staged Dojo crap!"

"Buh-buh-but!" His pal had gone ghastly pale, "Remember the maid chick the other night! She was tiny and skinny, too!"

"Lightning never hits the same spot twice!" Enraged, the huge boy grabbed a long and rusty discarded steel pipe from a nearby trash can and held a fighting stance against Setsuna. "If you wanna problems, kiddo, I'm your man! Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're a skirt!"

"Okay, that's enough!" Negi stomped ahead. "I'm going to discipline you severely, then to denounce you to the Headmaster!"

However, Setsuna stopped him on his tracks with a gesture of a hand, her left arm blocking his way. "Negi-sensei. Please leave this to me."

"You don't know who are you messin' with, Imouto-chan!" the thug mocked, ignoring the screaming pain in his messed up hand as it gripped the pipe. "Just give it up now while you still have that pretty face!"

Setsuna merely looked up and down at him as if measuring him up before deadpanning, "I don't need to offend my sword by using it against you."

"WHAT?" he shouted. "Miserable moron, you-"

Then all of a sudden he had a small but steely fist smashed up against his chin. He felt his jaw cracking, and a piercing pain to make its way very quickly up to his brain, and then his limbs fell like jelly. The pipe fell from his fingers as his eyes went blank, and right after it, his body plummeted down on his back, unconscious.

Misa and Negi stared with widely open mouths.

"One punch..." Konoka whispered with awe, "... ONE PUNCH! WAIIIII! SET-CHAN, YOU'RE SOOO COOL!"

With an uncomfortable red shade very briefly covering her features, the swordsgirl got over it by shooting the remaining delinquent a blunt glare. "Will you let us pass now?"

"Y-Y-You're welcome!" the smaller thug bowed very fast, stepping aside so much his back nearly drilled through a wall.

"Thank you," Setsuna politely bowed back before grabbing the delighted Konoka by a hand and walking away with her. Misa followed them very quickly, making sure to walk a few steps over the fallen delinquent's body, then shooting the other one a mocking gaze, a hand perched on a hip.

Finally, Negi gave the KOed guy a concerned, analytical look before deciding he should be okay. The child looked at the terrified thinner punk and asked him, "Please start being gentlemen to girls, okay?"

"O-O-Okay with me!"

"Good!" he smiled, not really noticing Chamo was peeing on the sleeping boy's face before skipping after him.

Once the hapless ruffian was left alone with his buddy, he looked down at him and muttered, "I really gotta stop hangin' around with you... maybe I should start spending this time with my little sister… "

And thus he would go to walk into one of _those_ kinds of manga.

* * *

><p><em>"Tarinai mono wa tetsubun? <em>_Mineraru? Ikura tottemo ohada ga arechau. __Koi no menseki, yuuki kakeru yume, purasu shokuyoku kakeru san ten ichi yon..."_

With the lyrics displayed in front of her finished, Hakase allowed herself to breathe again at last, slumping her shoulders down and closing her eyes. She felt so stupid, standing there in a dress (a dress!) with a microphone in hand, Shiina Sakurako clapping and clapping at the fruits of her public embarrassment. She only counted herself fortunate Chisame was not there to see her.

"You did very well, Prof-chan!" Sakurako remarked, pointing at her electronic scoreboard. "Look! You got a 68%!"

"Sixty Eight?" Satomi looked at it in panic. "It can't be! I'm not used to get anything below 98% in tests! It must be broken! I shall repair it!" She feverishly pulled a few tools out of her dress and marched towards the scoreboard.

"No, Prof-chan, no!" Shiina had to step in between them before Hakase could rebuild the karaoke bar's pride into some sort of deadly engine of mass destruction. Or maybe a toaster. Or a toaster of mass destruction. "It's not a standard test system! It just measures your singing!"

That only made her to blink. "... Is my voice THAT unpleasant?"

"No, no!" Sakurako shook her head vigorously. "It's just they have very high standards, and you still lack experience! I told you, your voice is very cute!"

"Oh..." the mad scientist paused uncomfortably."Oh. I understand. Yes, I have never devoted too much time to my vocalization, I'm afraid, other than my attempts at improving my intonation for the University lectures. Yes. Well, leaving that aside, can we depart now?" She looked up at the wall's clock. "I, um, have important matters to attend to..."

For a moment, the cheerleader's eternally cheerful attitude dropped down as her cutesy face betrayed a quick pang of disappointment. But she lifted her spirits back up just as soon. "Sure! Negi-kun and the others must be waiting for us, after all!"

As they left the place and walked down the boulevard, Sakurako, against her customs, kept her gaze low and humble. "Prof-chan...?" she asked at last.

"Yes?"

"Did you have fun today?"

"Huh?" She doubted. "Oh, yes, I suppose I did. It was interesting to analyze all the displays of special effects in the movie. I could see some seriously advanced displays of computer imagery there, although I am of the opinion more could be done by developing the fields of animatronics, currently mostly displaced by the usage of CGI. We are attempting some interesting applications of mechanics in the making of filmography at the Club at this very moment. Suzumiya-san from High School Class 1-E is interested on hiring our services for some sci-fi motion picture she intends to create..."

"Ah," Sakurako crossed her arms behind her back, kicking a random pebble. "And... what about the time we two spent... alone? At the karaoke?"

Satomi chuckled bashfully. "Like I said, I'm not a good singer. I'm sorry to have punished your sense of hearing with my voice..."

Shiina gave her a half-hearted punch in an arm. "And I told you your voice is way cute! Don't be so harsh on yourself!"

"No.** Your **voice is pleasing. Mine never could possibly match it," the genius declared.

Sakurako blushed a bit. "Thanks."

"For what?"

"For telling me you like my voice. Also, for spending some time with me. To be honest, I was... afraid you wouldn't want to."

"Well, it's true we have very different interests..."

"I guess we do," Shiina softly said. "Still, Pro-Satomi-chan, do you think two people... with very different interests... can be, errr, really, really good friends...?"

"Gee, I... I dunno," Hakase cluelessly scratched her chin. "Maybe you shouldn't be asking me. I have very few friends. The best one wa- is Chao, and we do have many common hobbies and preferences..."

"But you have Chisame-chan too," the other girl argued.

"Well, Chisame's case is... special. We are roommates, so of course we must spend a lot of time together."

"But she's still a very close friend to you, isn't she?"

Hakase paused, deeply reviewing her thoughts concerning Chisame at the best of her rather stiff and slightly dusty emotional capacities. How did she feel about Chisame, anyway? She was not a friend in the sense Chao was. With Chao, she could sit down and chat on the things they both were passionate about. With Chisame, however, it was more of an unspoken relationship between them. They clicked to some level, true, but it always was more due to a wordless agreement of sorts; Chisame led, Satomi followed. It was the most comfortable arrangement for both of them.

"I suppose it's like it must feel to have an older sister," she guessed aloud. Still, some remote part of her asked herself if there wasn't something else to it. Some other reason why she had always followed Chisame's cues. Some other explanation for the vague but warm fondness she, all things considered, felt towards her.

"You don't have siblings of your own, Satomi-chan?" Shiina asked.

"No. Father and Mother never saw the need for it."

"Mom couldn't ever get pregnant again after I was born," Sakurako mused, then giggled, "She always tells me that's why they spoiled me. I'm their eternal baby."

Hakase actually smiled at that. "But you got two sisters of your own here."

"Yeah!" Sakurako smiled back. "Misa and Madoka are like the sisters I never had. I'd be lost without them. Lost in... everything..."

She stopped abruptly, placing a hand over her own chest.

"Shiina-san?" Satomi also stopped, looking at her. "Are you feeling okay?"

"No... I don't think so..."

Hakase grabbed her cheeks, checking her temperature. "Your body heat seems to be somewhat above the average, and your skin presents a sudden spike in pigmentation. Perhaps you have suffered sunstroke? Weird, since the sun's almost gone down now. Wait a second, I'm nearly sure I brought a rectal thermometer just in case. I must have it somewhere in this stupid dress..."

Sakurako stopped her, grabbing her hands urgently. "No. It isn't that. It's... Please, listen to me. Please. I don't know why do I... why do I feel this, but I have to tell you. Yes, we have nothing in common. Yes, maybe this is stupid... and maybe I'm destroying any chance we have to build a true friendship, but I can't take it anymore! Misa and Madoka told me I had to be honest with my feelings, and now I see they're right!"

Hakase arched her eyebrows. "Shiina-san, are you sure you aren't experiencing signs of mental distress? Slight hallucinations, perhaps? Intense aches in your skull and distancing with reality?"

"I beg you, listen to me!" Sakurako grabbed her by the shoulders. "Saying this is already too hard... the hardest thing I've ever done... Don't make it any harder, please..."

Hakase cringed, somewhat unnerved at that point. "What is it?"

"I- I-"

"What is it?"

"I- I-!"

"What?"

"I can't say it, I just-!"

"What do you mean with 'I can't say it'? What could possibly be complicated enough between us for you to be unable to convey it with words? What?" Hakase had grown frankly impatient now, only wanting to return to Negi and Chisame's side.

For a moment, Sakurako shrunk under her stare with watery eyes, a far image from her habitual happy go lucky self. She shivered fearfully, but when Satomi grew annoyed and began to turn around to leave, a newfound resolve seemed to suddenly grip the cheerleader. She breathed very deeply and sprang forward, with the expression of someone who has nothing to lose left.

And caught Satomi's lips with her own in a mouth to mouth kiss.

* * *

><p>"Ah, ha ha ha ha ha!" Misa laughed loudly as she walked next to Konoka. "Setsuna, now that was something to see! You were awesome! How could you do that? I mean, a single punch! Don't tell me you lift weights, because you sure don't have a bodybuilder's arms!"<p>

Sakurazaki looked aside uncomfortably. She marched ahead of the group, with Negi walking right behind her, looking up at her in awe.

"It... was nothing," the pale skinned girl finally spoke reluctantly. "The practice of the sword demands for your body to be as finely honed as possible. As sharp as your blade is."

"Setchan has been very into swordplay since she was little," Konoka helpfully explained.

Misa blinked. "Oh? Have you two known each other since then?"

"Yeah!" the Konoe heiress nodded very happily.

"Only for a short time," Setsuna managed to say between clenched teeth before changing the subject. Negi idly wondered why had her cheeks flushed so red for a moment. "In any instance, why were the two of you wandering across this area, Negi-sensei, Kakizaki-san?"

"We were on a date!" Misa beamed without hesitation.

Negi choked on his own saliva. "K-KAKIZAKI-SAN!"

"Bwa ha ha ha! I was just joking!" she said. "No, actually, we were hanging out with Madoka-chan, Sakurako-chan, Asuna, Chisame and the Prof, but we had to split so we all could finish our own things in time. That's all. We were just passing by. Yeah. Not like we were following you at all because we were concerned you might be making a mistake and potentially ruining your future, Konoka-chan. We'd never do that, no."

"Yes, I'm sorry I couldn't go with you!" Konoka nodded. "Grandpa had forgotten to tell me I had to go out in an _omiai_."

"What's an _omiai_?" Negi asked.

"It's basically an arranged date with a candidate for future marriage..." Konoka began to explain, but then Negi gasped aloud for air.

"ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY?"

"Well, no, not yet!" the rich girl laughed easily. "Grandpa sets me up in those all the time. Sometimes I think it's some kind of hobby for him," she joked.

Setsuna mumbled, her head hanging down. "Please don't say that. Konoemon-sama only has your best interests and your family's in mind."

"Ha ha, I know, Setchan," she waved her concern away. "It's just he can get very insistent about it at times. Would you believe he used to have four security guards going with us at first? Luckily, he dropped that out for the most recent omiais. God knows it was embarrassing..."

The secret reason why Konoemon had stopped using his guards to follow his granddaughter around rasped uneasily.

"You mean he sets you up in dates with rich hot guys all the time?" Misa's eyes had grown impossibly wide. "I'd kill for a grandpa like that!"

"Well, not all of them are that cute," Konoka pouted. "And most of them are very boring. And besides..." she briefly closed her eyes and smiled, "My tastes lean in another direction."

" ... Okay," Misa said. "How about you, 'Set-chan'? What were you doing around here?"

The swordgirl's left eyebrow twitched very briefly. "Please don't call me like that. And I was, um, only passing by. Just like you. Yes, only that."

"My, my!" Konoka giggled. "It's a small world, after all!"

It hadn't been that small, however, since it had taken them all the time used in that conversation to reach the bus stop to Mahora. As they stood there to wait for the vehicle, Misa turned again towards the heiress to ask, "By the way, who were you forced to date today?"

"Oh, the son of some old friends of our family. Chiba Mamoru-kun, currently a junior Medicine student at college. He lost his parents at a very early age, so he grew up mostly alone," her voice became slightly sad. "He always puts a content facade, but you can tell he's missing a lot in his life."

Then she sighed. "We've known each other a long time. I worry about him. He doesn't seem to get out a lot, doesn't really have any hobbies, no home-life to speak of… all he has is his school work and an empty house"

Setsuna briefly looked aside again, and Negi lowered his head thoughtfully.

Misa looked at them all with some puzzlement, even ignoring the way Chamo had placed himself under her skirt to look up it, but before she could ask them what there was in their minds now, the bus arrived to the station.

* * *

><p><em>Meanwhile, At The Hall of Justice… Err, I mean, at the other side of the Shopping District:<em>

It certainly was very, very different from kissing Negi.

Sensei's lips were like sweetened butter, very soft and tender, passive and malleable against her mouth. In contrast, Sakurako's lips were spicier, with a slight added tingle of cinnamon. Not coarse or hard at all, but nowhere as soft as Negi's. And much more active.

Hakase kept her eyes wide open in shock as the other girl kept hers very firmly closed. Sakurako's face was bright crimson, and her heartbeat was loud and strong enough to be noticeable through their clothing as their chests came closer together, both girls clumsily struggling to keep their footing for a few moments, until Sakurako finally pulled her face back, breathing in a ragged, desperate fashion.

"Shi-Shiina-san..." Satomi stammered, not really remembering they were at a public place and a few bystanders had briefly stopped to gape at them (and of course take pictures) in astounded silence.

"I'm so sorry!" Sakurako made a few tiny sobs, lowering her head as much as she could. "I know you'll hate me now! I shouldn't have done that, and I know I'm an idiot..."

"Why, Shiina-san?" Even now, Satomi's curiosity was everpresent. "Why have you done this?"

"I don't know..." the cheerleader lamented, pinching the bridge of her nose in defeat. "It... It started very slowly. I would see you day after day at classes, always working on something. It took me a whole year to notice I liked you. And I still can't say why. I just... do. I thought you were so smart, so capable, so cool..."

"Me? 'Cool'?" Satomi wrinkled her nose. "Excuse me, I don't quite believe that term and me belong to the same sentence, unless its meaning has changed since the last time I heard it. Which might be true, since I last heard it when I was..." she tried to remember, "Ah. Nine."

Sakurako almost chuckled, shakily. "See, I like that about you, too! You're just so honest, so true to yourself. You don't care about the opinions of others, you just make your own way. I think that's the coolest thing ever."

"Stop it, please," Satomi asked, holding her hands up.

"Sorry," the more popular girl sniffed. "I didn't mean to embarrass you in public like this. Many times, I tried to leave a secret love letter at your locker, but it always had all those defense mechanisms..."

"Naturally. I keep important diagrams and schematics there. I cannot allow them to fall into rival hands..." Hakase paused. "Wait, so that's why I always found burnt envelopes around it! I believed someone was sending me anthrax..."

"The lasers always were very hard to escape from," Shiina nodded, biting her lower lip. "And the metallic arms. And the mini-cannons were even scarier. And the metal tentacles..."

"I'm amazed you managed to avoid them," the genius commented. "Perhaps this 'Power of Love' merits a closer examination as a source of energy..."

Sakurako dared to give her a hopeful look. "You mean...?"

For once, Satomi got the cue and blushed, madly waving her hands away. "Ah, ah, ah, sorry! I'm-I'm not sure I can return your feelings!"

Now that seemed to crush the other girl down, although she attempted to rebound back quickly. "... Oh. I see. I knew it. Yeah, it was obvious. I won't hold anything against you if you decide to hate me..."

Satomi grimaced, unsure of what to reply. Her lips moved, but she made no sound, too distracted by the sudden renewed flavor of Sakurako's mouth in her own as the saliva started to moisten it up again. It all would have been easier if her heart just stopped beating so fast. As it was, she couldn't even begin to think of a decent answer that didn't involve a 'Let's Never Talk About This Again' or a 'Let's Go to my Lab, I'd like to Run a Few Medical Tests on You' (though a part of her found the latter option very appealing…). Fortunately or not, Sakurako chose to simply ask her another question instead of waiting for her comeback until the next Ice Age.

"S-Satomi-chan, you... D-Do you like someone else?"

"I like... science," she lamely blabbered.

"I don't mean that. I mean, don't you **love **anyone?"

"I love... science," she lamely repeated.

"I'm talking about living human beings," Sakurako sighed.

For a moment, Satomi's brain froze once again, her whole brilliant mind suddenly displaying nothing but a portrait of Negi and Chisame standing together.

She quickly shook her head to dispel the mundane, yet utterly disturbing (maybe because, for some enigmatic reason, they both were in their underwear) image out of her brain. Shuddering a bit, she only could hum a vague, "Well... Actually..."

"You like Negi-kun, don't you?" Sakurako asked.

Hakase munched on her lower lip (which, damn it, still tasted so good! And why was the back of her mind starting to wonder how Sensei's lips mixed with Sakurako's taste like? Wait, and Chisame's too? What had happened to her? Food poisoning?) trying to make sense out of the whole situation. If only Shiina could stop talking for two years or so to give her time to regain her bearings and wits...

"N-Negi... kun...?" she repeated, her voice as stiff as a board.

Sakurako nodded, understanding. "It's okay. Everyone likes Negi-kun."

"I don't-" she started to protest, then closed her mouth and ran a hand over her face. "I don't feel too healthy. Please, let's just get back to the Academy."

Swiftly, she spun around on her heels and began marching away at a brisk place, pushing her way absently through the small crowd of gathered onlookers, a few of which were taking sketches muttering something about Yuri manga fodder. After a few moments of flushed hesitation, Sakurako raced after her.

Maybe someday. She trusted her luck.

* * *

><p>"This is Mahora Academy's Student Council Vice President Fujino Shizuru, in the momentary absence of our beloved President Kiryuun Satsuki-sama while she's away squashing heathens and rebels with her wise and powerful mother, reminding all our students the scheduled blackout is about to begin, and it will last until midnight," a young woman's pleasant, sedated voice, with a thick yet easygoing Kyoto accent, sounded all across the campus carried out by nearly every public speaker at the grounds. "Starting now, all electric lights at Mahora will go out for the next four hours. New students are advised not to panic, since this is a perfectly normal occurrence. All students are ordered by Headmaster Konoe and the Student Council to stay at their residences under curfew until the blackout is over, for your own safety. Any abnormal incident should be immediately reported to our offices. Please be careful everyone, as we do not want a repeat of the Mass Spin The Bottle Incident of '99. Thank you all, and have a very good night."<p>

Just as she finished relaying her message, the lights began to die all over the campus, from north to south, from east to west. Darkness blanketed the whole school and its surroundings, accompanied by a chilly wailing breeze from the hills.

The church's big clock rang eight times, its bells tolling in a nearly haunting fashion.

Nagase Kaede looked out her room's window with a smirk. "Well, well, it has started-de gozaru. We have to be careful now, girls. They say the specters of Mahora choose these moments to roam around looking for brides-de gozaru..."

Narutaki Fumika trembled, hiding under her bedsheets with only her face peeking out. "Aiiieee! Don't say that, Kaede-neechan!"

"Yeah, you'll invoke the ghosts if you mention them now," Fumika's twin sister nodded from where she sat next to the bed. "Dragging their chains along, with their long fangs dripping blood..."

"Oneechan!" Fumika whined, tossing a pillow at her head. "You're only making it worse!"

Kaede chuckled as the twins started a pillow fight in the room's darkness. The tall girl relaxed back and enjoyed a sniff of the cold air blowing from the mountains.

* * *

><p>At High School Classroom 2-F, a vintage old school Mahora spirit was shivering fear of her own, cuddling for dear non-life against the pale, covered-by-thick-blankets, thin body of the classroom's shut-in. "Kiri-chan, I'm scared...!" the ghost whimpered, tightening her eyes closed. "I've heard too many horrible things about these blackouts! What if there are scary ghosts...?-!"<p>

"Nothing will happen as long as we stay inside, Sayo-chan," Komori Kiri quietly, confidently stated, sipping from a small cup of green tea. "Here we are safe. Only the outside world can ever hurt you." She paused. "And why exactly are you scared of ghosts?"

"They're creepy!" Sayo said. "I once saw this movie about a ring and a well…!"

"But Sayo-chan, you're a ghost," Kiri said, pulling out a mirror so Sayo could see herself. Somehow. Despite being a ghost. We're as puzzled as you.

"_**AH!**_" Sayo wailed. "_**A GHOST! A SCARY GHOST! DANNY PHANTOM, HELP ME!**_"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at yet another private room wrapped in shadows, three girls sat around a small table under the faint light of candles, all of them staring at the delicious looking cake placed between them.<p>

Finally, the short haired Hitou Nami broke the tense silence with a nervous giggle. "It almost looks like we're about to celebrate someone's birthday here! Although the mood's not exactly the happiest one..."

"I'm sorry my presence has cast such a dark shadow upon all of you," the shy girl sitting at her right averted her glare, tightening her small fists on her own knees. "It's always like this, wherever I go... Maybe you should be better if I walked out to stay at the hall? Or is that still too close?"

"Nonsense, Kaga-san," the teenager with the long black hair scoffed matter-of-factly, her voice prim and proper to nearly parodical extremes. "You need to start valuing yourself more, or else you'll become a self-brought shame to our class."

"Sorry! I'm well aware of that!" Kaga Ai eeped helplessly. "It's just I can't help being that lowly, sorry! If I could, I'd leave the class so you could be better off, but I don't want to impose my presence upon anyone else! N-Not like I'm saying you deserve me more than any-"

"We get the idea, Ai-chan," Nami interuppted.

"... I'm sorry. Look, you don't have to share that delicious cake with me, okay? Kitsu-san's parents sent it to her as a gift over her good grades, it'd be unfitting for a mediocre student like me to enjoy it as well..."

"I couldn't be the first of the class without a lot of worse students for me to stand over, so I owe you that much," Kitsu Chiri reasoned (more or less) as she crossed her arms and softly tapped a foot on the floor. "Now, what is taking Kafuka-san so long? Honestly, I hope she doesn't mess it up and brings us a chainsaw instead, again..."

"Say what?" Nami blinked.

"Oh?" Chiri perked up. "Harumi-san and Abiru-san never told you about it? Last time they were here, I sent that dumb girl for a knife, just like now..."

Then Nami and Ai gasped as they saw a figure looming over Chiri, stalking her from behind with bright red evil eyes. A huge butcher's knife glinted in the newcomer's right hand, just as her apparent mark went on, unconcerned,

"... and she brought a very messy chainsaw, claiming she hadn't found any good knives but we could slice the cake with it. Can you believe it? Everyone knows such tasks demand for the elegant precision of a good knife. Ah, the small pleasures of delicately sinking the blade into the creamy outside, then slicing cleanly in a single precise swipe of your hand..."

Too scared to warn their friend, Ai and Nami only could hug each other and shriek in terror as the red eyed monster brought the knife down...

... Only to carefully place it, handle-first, upon the palm of Chiri's right hand.

"Here, Chiri-chan!" Fuura Kafuka, her eyes suddenly back to normal, innocently chirped, beaming a very pretty smile at her best friend. "It's the best one I could find with everything being so dark!"

"Ah, Theodore!" Chiri gave the knife an approving stare and a nod. "Good choice, Kafuka-san. Now sit down so we can start eating."

"You guys give names to your knives?" Nami exclaimed.

Chiri blinked, confused. "Doesn't everyone?"

Ai covered her own mouth with a hand. "Oh! I never knew that! I'm sorry, I have committed a grave mistake on home etiquette! From now on, I'll name all my sharp utensils, too!"

"You'd better," Chiri nodded, then pulled a ruler and a compass out and began to measure the cake's area very carefully. "Okay, now let's see. To better divide the cake into four exactly equal sections, we should start by-"

"Y-You really don't need to give me any cake, seriously!" Ai stammered. "I'm only intruding, after all! It's better if there's more for you all, don't you think? Cake would only be wasted on a person like me..."

"No!" Chiri growled. "If you don't accept your share, then you'll break the balance! And that's unforgivable! Look, there's four strawberries on the cake, so it needs to be split between four people! You can't share four strawberries between only three friends!"

"It's no big deal, Chiri-chan..." Nami complained. "It's only a simple splitting of cake!"

"No, no! It must be done perfectly!" the long haired girl shook her head stubbornly with a mad glint in her eyes. Since she had started to finger the knife so feverishly, Nami, very wisely, decided to humor her.

"You always can count on Chiri-chan to split anything very evenly!" Kafuka laughed merrily as her closest friend sliced the treat into four perfectly even big slices. "But wait, shouldn't we save a slice for Jun-chan? She loves cake a lot..."

"Yeah, fine with me, but in that case..." Nami doubted, giving the suddenly very still Chiri a wary look.

"Four strawberries... five people..." the extremely orderly girl shivered. "To divide them into perfectly equal rations... I should take the strawberries away..."

"Oh, oh! This isn't good..." Kafuka blinked cutely. "Chiri-chan's losing control again!"

"That much of a need for precision only can lead to disaster..." Nami dared to mumble.

But then the OCD-afflicted young woman calmed down abruptly, and with a few fast slashes, cut all the strawberries into thin slices.

"I see!" Kafuka looked at the end result. "Cutting all the strawberries into five slices, you can just give four slices to everyone! Oh! But wouldn't Meru-chan want some cake, too?"

At that very moment, Chiri's cellphone rang. The dominant girl picked it up only to see at the light of the tiny screen how someone had just sent her a brief text message.

_You'd better not forget to bring me cake tomorrow, bitches._

"... Yes, she will want it," Chiri sighed rather deeply before madly running calculations through her head again. "Four strawberries... Six people... Cutting the cake in six parts..."

"She's getting worse!" Nami backed away against a wall.

Both she and Ai yelled in panic as Chiri raised the huge knife up with an unnatural sound coming from her throat... and further sliced the strawberries into even thinner figments.

"Y-You cut them into three pieces each..." Ai guessed, straining her eyes to look at the slashed fruits in the darkness.

"Yes," Chiri nodded, satisfied now. "Having sixty slices in total, I'll give ten of them to each one of us. Problem solved!"

"Hee hee hee!" Kafuka giggled. "They look like sliced carrots now! Ah, but aren't we forgetting Itoshiki-sensei?"

Chiri jerked up stiffly once more. "Itoshiki-sensei! Why, you're right! He deserves a much bigger share, too!"

"Wow, you really like Itoshiki-sensei, don't you, Chiri-chan?" Fuura playfully teased.

"O-Of course not!" the one with the blade denied. "It's just, as our homeroom teacher and guide figure, he needs our utmost respect! Now let me see... Four strawberries... between seven people... to divide the cake into six equal parts and a larger one... Each slice should have an arc of... 51.488571428..."

Then a loud crash of broken glass came from the back of the apartment.

Nami grew even tenser. "It sounded like the back window!"

The four of them quickly made their way there to notice a tall, busty blond female with a sultry smile standing at the kitchen, wearing black and surrounded by shards of shattered glass.

"Kaere-chan...?" Nami attempted to give her a better look. "Why are you here at this-"

"I'm not Kimura Kaere," the stranger hissed with an evil, needy voice, and then lunged ahead.

A few minutes later, Evangeline stepped out back into the night licking her blood stained fingers. "They'll recover in a few minutes," she instructed Chachamaru, who was standing next to the window's outer frame in her maid outfit. "When they do, dress them up and bring them to the arranged place. Speed is of the essence."

"Master," the gynoid stoically said. "Far from me to question your acts, but-"

"I promised you I'd stop attacking our classmates," Eva cut her off. "I never said anything at all about students from other classes."

"You haven't been the same ever since you drank from that lawyer, Master..."

* * *

><p>Chisame sat alone in the blackness of the room on her bed, hunchbacked over her laptop. Its screen gave the only faint light at the whole place.<p>

Her fingers, somehow, weren't as fast as typing as they usually were, and it wasn't just because of the poor light conditions. Her mind just couldn't keep itself focused on her task. She ran a hand through her hair, making an angry throaty noise. Then she rocked back and forth on her butt, trying to calm her nerves down.

She jumped up a bit when she heard the room's door creaking open. Her eyes adjusted over to barely see Satomi's shape silently stumbling in, the scientist's small mouth apparently moving without forming any sounds, but looking as if it was pretending to mutter.

"Ah, Hakase," Hasegawa breathed out. "It's just you. Didn't hear you coming through the front door."

"Sorry," the mad professor said in a rather distant, almost subdued, tone, as she turned her back on her and began to undress clumsily. "Where's Sensei?"

"He... hasn't come yet," Chisame admitted reluctantly. "Honestly, what is taking him so long? I just can't understand it..."

"Well, the traffic has been very problematic. It took us nearly a hour to get here; we heard rumors about 'something' making another bus ahead of ours to crash..." Satomi said while stepping out of her dress.

Chisame tensed up against her own will. "A bus accident...?"

"Relax, please; it seemingly was a tourism bus from another city, so I highly doubt Sensei was there," Satomi was starting to put on her pajama pants now.

Chisame actually breathed easier. "Good."

"Yes. Good," Hakase said quietly as she pulled her pajama shirt on herself (not noticing it was backwards) and began to struggle with the buttons, wondering why she was having so many problems with them now. "I can't see anything," she complained. "Couldn't you have pulled some of my special lamps out for this occasion?"

"I couldn't find them in your mess," Chisame groaned.

"Doesn't matter," Satomi quit her futile fight with the heinous chore of dressing herself and plopped down on her face into her bed. "This was a truly atrocious day."

Chisame felt tempted to ask, "Was Sakurako more annoying than usual?"

"She kissed me," Satomi curtly stated.

The hacker jerked back, shocked. "O-Oh...!"

"She told me she finds me attractive," Hakase muttered, her fingers drawing her pillow under her chin. "I still am not sure if it is all an elaborate attempt to mock me or if she really means it, but... she kissed me. Why? I'm not the kind of person meant to be kissed. For fourteen years, it worked fine. And this week, first I kiss a ten year-old infant, and now another female. What has gone wrong? I want a simple rational life without any distractions! I only want to keep on working for the rest of my life, winning a few dozens of awards, building a few history making weapons of mass destruction, ushering on the new age of cybernetics, then to die being remembered as the Marie Curie of robotics! But single! Single! Is that asking for too much?"

"Ahhhh..." Chisame dumbly said. "Wasn't Marie Curie married and make most of her discoveries with her husband?"

Satomi's head slumped slightly at this reminder, then she looked up at the hacker. "Shouldn't you be starting one of your tirades on how weird and troubling our classmates are now? Because I feel inclined to agree at this point in time..."

Hasegawa scratched the back of her own neck. "I... I'll be honest to you. It didn't come as that much of a surprise to me. Kugimiya already had told me about Shiina's crush."

Hakase gasped aloud. "You knew...?"

"Hey, hey, relax! I only learned about it today! After we split up! And I never dreamed Shiina would have the courage to plant one on you!" She tried to ignore the weird stirring she felt at the sudden image of the two girls kissing…

"Well... she did it," Satomi sighed, pulling a small set of pieces from under her pillow and beginning to assemble them. "I still don't understand it. What could she see in someone like me?"

"Ummm... They _do _say opposites attract," Hasegawa attempted to offer, just to say something.

"I'm not attracted to her," Hakase reassured herself more than to Chisame.

"You told her that?"

"As best as I could, I imagine," Satomi shrugged, wondering why assembling small machinery seemed somewhat less exciting now.

"Shiina is rather dense. If you didn't make it very clear, she'll hold on to hope..." Chisame warned.

"Next time I see her, I'll sic Chachamaru on her, then-" she stopped herself in mid sentence. "Oh, wait. Can't do that anymore..."

"We are surrounded from all sides," Hasegawa mused.

There was a long silence after that.

"Chisame..."

"Mmmmm?"

"Do you consider me your friend?"

"Eh? Why do you ask that?"

"I think I have lost the only other person I could actually call a friend..." Satomi absently exhaled.

"Chachamaru?"

"I mean Chao."

"Again with that?" she sounded annoyed anew. "Haven't we agreed you'd at least talk it over with her before making that decision?"

"I'm not good at personal conversations."

"It shows."

"See? Even you notice it."

"What do you mean with 'even you'? I know I'm no social butterfly either, but-!"

Satomi had just climbed up the ladder to Chisame's upper bunk, to look straight into her eyes. "Do you believe yourself my friend, yes or not?"

"Wh-Why the sudden urge to ask that now? You never cared before! What, I'm nothing but a second place prize after Chao turns her back on you?"

Hakase paused, stunned. "I- I never meant that..."

Chisame reopened her mouth to berate her, but then she saw how huge and crystalline Satomi's bright confused eyes were, even in the middle of the shadows, and she felt herself unable to do so. Awkwardly, ignoring her Chisame-senses yelling at her about how would she regret encouraging this sort of thing later, she awkwardly wrapped her arms around the smaller girl's body and pulled her towards herself in an attempt of sisterly hug. She definitely did _not _wonder if a kiss would help…

_"You can call me your friend if you want,"_ Hasegawa whispered.

"Thanks," Hakase said in a tiny voice, and then eased herself against her chest. Feeling her warmth, truly sniffing her soft sweaty scent for the first time. No wonder Sensei liked it so much. Sensei... _"I'm worried about Sensei..."_ she whispered back.

Chisame nodded. "Yeah. Me too."

Somewhere, Chamo jerked up. "I sense a disturbance in the Force," he lowly murmured to himself. "As if something _really _hot just happened and I wasn't there to see it…"

* * *

><p>At some other room, Shiina Sakurako slept while Madoka lay sleepless on the bunk above hers.<p>

It had taken her a long while to comfort Sakurako after her arrival, even longer to get her to sleep. Lucky at everything else, but unlucky at love, it seemed. Of course, it had been a safe bet it wouldn't work anyway. But looking at it from Madoka's perspective, it was better that way. Better to cut the crush off as soon as possible so her friend could get herself someone more suited to her.

Yeah, that was it.

And now, Misa was so late. Madoka's attempts to call her had only been met with brief, token 'On my way' text messages. Oh, Misa. What was she trying to pull off now? Oh, Kami, how did Madoka hope it wasn't something that would get Misa arrested and get Madoka herself accused of being an accessory to, say child-molestation…

The black haired girl groaned to herself. Being the only sane person in the apartment sucked so much.

* * *

><p>"Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Konoka laughed as the five of them reached the gates of the campus, waving a hand up and heading towards her dorm building in the distance.<p>

"W-Wait!" Setsuna said. Tentatively, she reached up with a hand, gesturing for her to stop. "The lights already went out. It might be dangerous, to wander alone in the darkness."

"I'll be okay, really!" the heiress smiled at her. "I know my way like the palm of my hand, Set-chan."

"Still..." the swordsgirl doubted, "I should... I mean, someone should..."

Misa smirked knowingly. "Why don't you go with her, 'Setchan'?"

"M-Me?-!" the pale young woman seemed flustered for once. "I couldn't- I mean, it'd be improper for me-"

Negi blinked. "Why should it be improper?"

"Yeah, why?" the cheerleader chuckled, eyeing Setsuna with a mischievous glint. "It's only a classmate escorting a friend to her room. Nothing wrong at all about that, right?"

"Of course not," Setsuna scowled, "But-"

Konoka's eyes lit up. "You wanna go with me, Set-chan? Oh, yes! You even can stay with Asuna and me tonight! After all, you shouldn't be walking out alone after curfew, either!"

"I couldn't impose myself upon you!" Sakurazaki quickly replied.

"I'm sure Asuna won't mind. And you aren't rooming with anyone right now, are you? It's not like you'll be better all alone in the dark..." Konoka pointed out.

Setsuna looked at Misa and Negi. "But... what will the two of you do?"

Misa giggled roguishly, hugging one of Negi's arms. "I don't have anything to fear as long as I'm with a brave man!"

"Well... yes..." Negi's head nodded erratically. "I'll escort Kakizaki-san all the way to her home, so you girls don't have to worry..."

"Are you sure?" Setsuna hesitated.

"Yeah!" the boy teacher answered confidently. "I have come to know my way around here!"

Setsuna was not as confident, but she still relented. "Okay. Please be very careful," she asked before turning back to Konoka. "When... Whenever you want!"

Konoka smiled again, offering her a hand. "With you? Anytime, Setchan."

Setsuna looked at the hand warily. "It isn't needed, to-"

Konoka simply grabbed her right hand regardless. "Don't be silly! It's better this way when it's so dark. Huh? Set-chan, why is your hand so cold and sweaty?"

The fighter's left eyebrow twitched. "W-what do you mean by that…?."

"Maybe you just need a hot bath!" Konoka started to pull her away merrily. "We have a nice furo at home! I'll show it to you! Yes, a long, hot, soapy bath…"

"F-F-Furo?-!-?" Setsuna all but shrieked, her eyes bugging out, as she was helplessly dragged away.

"Have a good night...!" Negi waved his goodbye.

Misa chuckled, with a finger on her forehead and her eyes closed. "I'm sure Konoka will, at least!"

Negi looked cluelessly at her. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing," she said, then pulled him after her as well, with the ermine hopping behind them. "We should get going, too. Hey, what if you spend the night with us, too? It's too late and dark for you to head back to Chisame's all alone."

"Oh, no, I couldn't," the boy protested. "Chisame-san and Satomi-san must be sick worried about me. I've been abusing too much of their patience as it is..."

"What a little cute henpecked husband you are, Negi-kun!" Misa teased him.

"D-Don't say that!" he flushed again. "Such things shouldn't even be joked about!"

"You're far too repressed," she admonished while they kept on walking, and Chamo nodded at that. "That may be cute for now, but you'll have to grow out of it. A man must learn how to be strong and driven, brave and charming, and charm involves sophistication and suaveness."

Negi stared blankly. "Suaveness?"

"Yeah! You have to be daring! Bold! Striking! In a single word, you have to be... sharp!"

Just as she said that, Negi tensed up, jumping to push her out of the way of an incoming flying blur. "KAKIZAKI-SAN! BEWARE!"

"Wha-?-!" she clung to him instinctively to keep her footing, and then she saw the knife flying right before her nose and above his head, missing them by inches, only to sink itself at the trunk of a nearby cherry tree. "NEGI-KUN! WHAT IN THE WORLD...?"

A soft deranged giggle came from the darkness. "Negi Springfield-kun..." a small voice sang.

Misa and Negi looked up in stunned silence to see a thin, waif-like girl a couple of years older than the cheerleader skipping out of the shadows, smiling widely (and very cutely) and holding several knives skillfully in each hand. Her hair was short and black, and she wore a French maid outfit very similar to Chachamaru's.

"Hey, I think I know you!" Misa exclaimed. "You're one of the nuts of 2-F! What's your big idea? You could've killed us!"

"Fuura Kafuka-san!" Negi gasped. "Why are you-"

"Negi Springfield-kun..." Kafuka chanted through a half-open mouth, her eyes wide and vacant. "Did you think the Master had forgotten her challenge? She demands to face you tonight..."

Negi froze as Misa frowned. "The what of who now?" she asked.

Like a disjointed marionette, Kafuka tilted her head aside, her smile becoming a wide open grin.

"Master Evangeline will drink your blood tonight, Negi-kun. We all would be thankful if you didn't make her to wait. Would you do that for us?"

Her now long and sharp set of white fangs glinted like gems at the pale moonlight.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	8. The Academy District Blackout Operation!

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader/chapter co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>The Great Academy District Blackout Operation!<strong>

* * *

><p>"Evangeline...?" Misa asked with a highly incredulous tone. "You mean Evangeline A.K. Mc Dowell? That little quiet bore of a girl? What got into you?" she asked the older student.<p>

"The Master doesn't like when people talks badly about her!" Kafuka pouted while juggling her knives expertly. "But I promise to give you one of these knives if you stop insulting her! Or I put one of these knives through your head to stop you from insulting her! Which do you prefer?" Kafuka asked, actually sounding curious instead of maliciously threatening.

Misa grimaced and started trying to drag Negi away with her. "Let's go, Negi-kun. This weirdo's giving me all kinds of bad vibes."

But Negi seemed rooted to the floor. "No, you go, Kakizaki-san. I can't. Kafuka-san!" he called out. "What did Evangeline-san did to you?" He knew it well, but he had to learn if she remembered it. "Did it happen to anyone else, too?"

"You'll learn all that and more if you come to the public bath in five minutes!" Kafuka cheerfully offered. "Otherwise, Master will consider we failed her, snap our necks, and get herself other slaves! So don't fail us, Negi-kun! I mean, we don't care, but we're sure you do!"

"This is a prank, right?" Misa scowled in disgust. "How much did Misora pay you?"

"Kafuka-san, wait!" Negi stomped ahead. "Try to fight the influence!"

But then the eerie girl stopped playing with the knives, instead aiming one at Misa's head. "Can you grab me before I toss this at her, Negi-kun?" she casually asked.

"What...?-!-?" he stopped immediately, just as the cheerleader jerked up violently in place.

"I advise you to let me go back to the Master. We'll meet again very soon, anyway," Fuura giggled, then jumped a few feet back with inhuman agility. "Remember! The bath house! In five minutes! Sayonara!" she waved a hand, and after that, she rushed back into the darkness before anyone could stop her.

The sound of someone stumbling and falling into the shadows was heard.

"Ouchie!" Kafuka's voice said. "I need to get better at this!"

There was the sound of someone getting up, and then…

"Ah! My shoes! I wonder who didn't clean up after their dog?-!"

There was some more running, and then the sound of trashcans falling over.

"Ahh, I think I just broke a toe!"

Negi and Misa sweatdropped at the sound of running and gagging. And then silence.

Misa finally tuned her eyes back to her teacher. "Let's get home ASAP!" she pleaded.

"Sorry, I can't!" Negi grabbed his staff and put on a resolute face. "I need to get to the bathhouse immediately!"

He marched a few steps forward before stopping abruptly and looking back at Misa, with no clue at all. "Where is the bathhouse, by the way?"

Misa facefaulted. "DON'T TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T TAKEN A BATH SINCE YOU ARRIVED HERE!"

"Ehhhh, Chisame-san bathes me every morning at our room's shower!" the pint sized teacher protested against that insult to his hygiene (although it would have been true if he had it his way).

Misa gave him a stunned look. "She... bathes you...?"

"Yes."

"Washing all... over your body...?"

"Umm, yeah..." Negi started to feel uncomfortable once more for some reason.

Misa nearly drooled now. "Rubbing soap all over you...? All over those parts we never have seen...?"

"Pretty much, yes..." Negi lowered his face, blushing.

"While she's... naked herself...?" Misa was overheating now.

"No, she usually wears a swimsuit."

"USUALLY!"

"She also does it in her underwear at times," Negi explained.

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE IT MUCH BETTER! UNDERWEAR GETS SEETHROUGH WHEN WET, YOU KNOW!"

"I always close my eyes when water starts pouring in," Negi claimed. "Otherwise, shampoo gets in my eyes..."

Misa sighed, drooping. "Life is so unfair…Okay. Fine. Anyway, I'll show you the way to the baths."

"No, just tell me where they are! But I won't allow you to go!" Negi was much firmer than usual.

Chamo tugged on his pants with his mouth. "Call them, Bro," the ermine whispered.

Misa blinked. "What was that voice?"

"N-Nothing!" Negi quickly did a full face sweating.

"Call the Sisters. You'll need them," the whisper in the dark insisted.

"No, that was definitely someone's voice," the teenager said, looking around. "A man's? Sounded like a gay man hitting on you from somewhere..." she put her hands on his shoulders protectively.

"WHAT?-!" Chamo shouted. "I'M NOT GAY!"

The shout was so loud Misa couldn't help but identifying its source this time, looking down at the small animal with huge perplexed eyes. "Your weasel... talks, Negi-kun...?"

"Ooooops," Chamo weakly said, covering his mouth with his paws.

Tears began to run down Negi's cheeks.

* * *

><p>Misa grabbed the ermine and picked him up, looking at his face carefully. "Oh, I get it. This is a ventriloquism trick, isn't it?"<p>

"Y-Yes, it is! You found me out!" Chamo stiffly lifted a paw up, speaking in a falsetto that badly mimicked Negi's voice. "I'm Negi Springfield, your sexy young teacher! I'm just speaking through this even sexier ermine! Very cute, huh? I can lend him to you if you want! I even taught him how to rub your back while you're bathing; you should try it, it feels so wonderful..."

Misa narrowed her eyes. "... Right. I'd rather believe the ermine talks than believing Negi-kun would ever say that. WAIT A MINUTE!" she started yelling, shaking Chamo around. "THEN, WHEN YOU WERE LOOKING AT ME AT THE DRESSING ROOM-!"

"ANIMAL ABUSEEE!" Chamo abandoned all pretenses of normalcy, clutched by panic now. "PETA! Al Gore! Animal Man, help me!"

"K-Kakizaki-san, please, let him go!" Negi begged. "We don't have time to waste with this! Just point me over to the baths and I'll explain everything tomorrow!"

"Like heck!" the cheerleader pulled her cellphone out. "I'm going to call someone to report all this lunacy! Hmmm, wait, I don't know the numbers of any teachers... Maybe Konoka can link me with her Grandpa. And that stalker Asuna must have Takahata's..."

"NO! NOT THEM!" Negi and Chamo said at once.

She looked back at them, still creeped out by the fact a vermin was talking to her. "Why not?"

"It'd be my downfall! I'd be made into an ermine myself! No one must know I'm a mage!"

Misa gawked. "A what?"

"Drat! No good! I keep digging my own grave deeper...!" Negi turned around and began to softly sob. "I'm a failure at everything I do...!"

Misa gave them a quizzical look, as the small critter patted Negi's right leg soothingly. Dammit, this joke was well staged and bizarre as Hell. Misora had outdone herself, no doubt. For a moment even she had been fooled.

"Negi-kun," she finally said.

"What?" he sniffed.

"All you need is for me to show you the way to the baths, right? If I do that, you promise you'll explain everything to me tomorrow?"

"I do," he solemnly declared.

"Swear it on your English gentleman's honor?"

"Of course!"

She smiled. "Then I'll do it!"

She paused, eyeing Negi in concern as she realized something. "Um, you're _not_ an 'English' gentleman, are you? I mean, you're not into hardwood instead of carpet, right…?"

Negi blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Chamo whispered something to him and he reddened. "NO, OF COURSE I'M NOT!... Not that there's anything wrong with that…"

Misa smiled in relief. "Good to know… well, like I said, I'll help you!"

He finally smiled back, wiping tears off the corners of his eyes. "G-Good! Thanks! But you, in turn, have to promise you'll only lead me to the door! Then you'll turn around and leave for the safety of your dorm!"

"I swear by my grades," she swore, placing her right palm on her chest. Naturally, Negi failed to notice her other hand was behind her back, fingers crossed. And he really should have remembered her grades weren't so hot in any case…

"Just call on the Sisters already, Bro!" Chamo complained. "You'll have no chance against Loli Dracula without 'em!"

"They aren't ready yet!" Negi scowled. "They still need a lot more of practice! If I make them to fight now, I'll only get them hurt!"

"You are the one who isn't ready yet!" the ermine scolded him. "You blockhead! Those girls are going to suck you dry... and not in the good way!"

"I'll think of something. I'll make it work," Negi seriously promised, then put his staff between his legs, mounting it while grabbing the confused girl by a hand and pulling her right behind him. "Hold on tight, Kakizaki-san, please. You may feel some liftoff vertigo at first..."

"Liftoff?" she wondered while Chamo hopped onto her right shoulder, and her arms instinctively wrapped around Negi's waist. "What do you- WHOAAH!" she yelled as she felt the staff lifting the three of them up and abruptly into the air. "WHA-WHA-HOW-?-!-?-!"

Definitely a perfectly staged practical joke. It couldn't be only Misora behind it; that Suzumiya wacko from 1-E also had to be involved. Misa just knew it.

* * *

><p>It had been a very short flight, thankfully for Misa's heart; the awe of being (somehow) actually flying was still not enough to overcome her sheer terror over the strangeness of it all. Her teeth were still clattering like crazy by the time, less than two and a half minutes afterward, the staff safely landed in front of the bathhouse.<p>

"Ahhh, so this is it?" Negi sounded like an amazed actual kid again, as he looked up and down at it. "It's so huge...! I can't believe I always missed it before. This campus has many places I still need to know."

Then his face straightened again. "You can go now, Kakizaki-san. Thanks. I'll handle everything from here."

She carefully dismounted the staff and crossed her arms, giving him a puzzled glare. "You sure you are going to do that?"

"Yes," he firmly nodded.

"Are you going to be in any risk?" she sounded concerned now.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"Yes, you sure will!" Chamo barked angrily. "And you'll have no one to blame but yourself!"

Misa sighed in defeat. "Whatever this is all about, I guess nothing I say to try and convince you will matter, right?"

Negi blinked. "Kakizaki-san, I-"

The girl only grabbed his face and gave him a kiss on a cheek. "For the good luck," she said.

He stammered with his biggest blush of the day. Which was saying something. "Th-Th-Thanks..."

She patted his head, then turned around, exhaled and began to walk away. "Well, I'll see you tomorrow, then. Remember, it'd better be a good explanation!"

"Yes!" the boy said. "Be careful on your way home, please!" Then he inhaled deeply and reached for the front door. "Let's go, Chamo!"

The ermine mumbled miserably. "So many things left to do... Raising my children... Amassing my fortune... Stealing Shizuna-sensei's undies... All unfulfilled, all of them...!"

Negi was only half-surprised at seeing the door had been previously unlocked. Before stepping into the quiet darkness of the building, he summoned a tiny flame over his right hand, using it to lighten their way inside. He and his tiny friend walked with extreme caution at each step, keeping their senses in continued alert, expecting an attack at any moment. For the next few minutes, however, all they could see were unending empty corridors and locked doors at each turn.

Outside, Misa had waited until a prudent amount of time had passed before gulping loudly, then heading back over her steps and into the building, her heart thumping violently. She didn't know exactly why. She only wanted to know. To be sure of something, anything, again.

Mainly about him being okay after all.

Oblivious to her return, far ahead of her, Negi finally reached another open door. He walked in with his guard up and his staff ready, Chamo trembling and embracing his heels.

"Evangeline-san!" Negi called out. "I'm here as you wanted! Where are you? Let Kafuka-san go!"

"Over here, Boya," a seductive, slow and sultry female voice came from the other end of the main bath he had walked into. Negi looked up at the top of a small summer hut next to the pool-like giant communal bath tub. Six female figures stood on its roof; one of them was Chachamaru, and four others were Kafuka and her classmates Kitsu Chiri, Hitou Nami and Kaga Ai. All of them wore identical French maid outfits, very similar to those of Ayaka's servants, but with much, much shorter skirts barely going past their crotches. Chachamaru was bare handed, but the human girls had different tools in their hands. Kafuka still had her knives. Chiri held a broom. Nami carried a large ax that seemed almost too big for her thin frame. Ai had a mop in a hand and a full bucket in the other.

Sitting lazily in the middle of them, a tall and buxom blond woman with sharp green eyes, wearing a barely there black dress that looked like a mix between leather underwear, S&M bondage, and flimsy silky negligee. She chuckled throatily, with an aloof amused expression on her face.

"Haven't you brought your friends along? Hu, hu, you have a lot of courage, coming here all alone..." she mocked him.

"All... alone...?" Chamo whined under his breath, crushed under the burden of his lack of weight in the plot yet again.

The young teacher, meanwhile, looked up at the scantily clad temptress in fascinated awe. "Ah! You! You are-!"

The blond woman smirked. "Yes...?"

"You are breaking the school's dressing and decency codes!" Negi pointed an accusing finger at her. "And who are you? Identify yourself!"

The woman fell on her face, suddenly losing all of her prior grace. She jumped back to her feet and made a cloud to smoke to go up in a puff all over herself. When the smoke cleared out, the diminutive Evangeline, wearing the exact same outfit, which now covered a lot more skin (although not enough for her to stop looking rather risqué for someone of that apparent age) stood there angrily pointing at herself.

"IT'S ME, YOU CRETIN! ME!"

"Aaaah, sorry!" Negi said, with his eyes much wider. "Now I remember! That's how you looked in your memories!"

"Good evening, Negi-sensei," Chachamaru bowed respectfully to the newcomers.

"Good evening to you too, Chachamaru-san," Negi bowed back.

"G-Good evening, Negi-sensei," Kaga Ai clumsily repeated Chachamaru's action. "I'm sorry to break the curfew, but I promise we'll head right back home as soon as you're a bloodless dried husk!"

"How is Hakase-san doing, Sensei?" the robot asked.

He replied quickly. "Well... I think she still misses you a lot. I think you should get together and talk your differences out; she cares deeply about you, even if she won't admit it..."

"I see," the robot nodded before tossing him a small bag. He caught it up easily. "Could you please deliver those cookies to her after the Master has drained all your blood? They are her favorites. They also come with an apology note."

"Sure," he nodded. "I'll be glad to."

Chiri's eyebrows quivered dangerously despite the easygoing peace of mind the vampiric trance usually implied. "Isn't that... an impossible feat to perform... after he's been fully drained of his vital fluids...?"

"AHEM!" Eva coughed. "WE SHOULD BE ABOUT TO START A BATTLE TO DEATH HERE, EVERYONE!"

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!" Ai bowed profusely at her new Master. "It's all my fault! I'll understand if I must be punished cruelly! As a matter of fact, I'll do it myself so you don't have to waste your efforts on a person as miserable as me! I-"

"JUST GO BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND WAIT FOR THE SIGNAL!" Evangeline barked at her.

"... Yes, Master. Sorry," the girl whimpered pitifully. "Sorry!"

Evangeline sighed. "I knew I should have gone for the stalker instead. Or the bandaged girl. Even the mute midget with the cellphone mania... or hell, another class all together. I hear 2-C is relatively sane…"

* * *

><p>"I regret not being able to wait until the full moon," Evangeline regained her playful, cruel smirk. "But there's really no point on extending your agony period that much. We'd better solve our little issues right now. Wouldn't you agree?"<p>

"I understand..." Negi said while standing his ground. "It's logical you'd prefer to strike while you still have an edge. But I won't allow it. For your own good, I'll stop this insanity tonight, and set you back on the right track!"

"Ah, ha ha ha!" Eva laughed out loud. "You truly don't know anything about life! Do you really think your childish bravado will impress me? Far better men have tried to stop me and failed miserably. As it is, I don't even have to handle you personally. My slaves!" she snapped her fingers. "Get him!"

"Yes, Master!" Chiri jumped down with amazing elasticity.

"For Great Justiceeeee!" Kafuka giggled while jumping after her.

"Sorry about this! I'll try my humble best!" Kaga nervously promised as she joined the attack.

Nami tried to think of a fitting battle cry for a moment, failed, then only jumped down with a sigh. "I just want to be abnormal…?-!" she tried, too late for it to be suitably dramatic.

Only Chachamaru remained still and waiting next to her mistress as the other girls landed with a splash at the middle of the bath, with the water up to barely above her feet. The four of them quickly converged in a semicircle around the boy.

"You're messy. Your shirt is asymmetrical. Your hair's too long both for a child and a teacher. Your right shoe's untied. Your fly is open. You need to be punished," Chiri rapidly droned while swinging her broom around. The young mage ducked in time under it, only to have to step aside immediately when the girl brought the broomstick down in another attempt to hit him. "Unruly. Improper. Undisciplined!"

"E-Eva-san, you're a coward!" he stammered while rolling away against a wall. "Manipulating innocents into doing your dirty work...!"

"Would you expect honor from an evil sorceress?" Evangeline taunted him from above. "Then you're even dumber than I thought! I expected you to notice I'm above such petty concerns by now!"

"Below them, you mean..." the child ran for a better position as he avoided Nami's ax strikes; he noticed the short haired slave seemed to be holding just short back of actually aiming for killing blows, and Chachamaru's quiet but stern watching from above seemed to confirm that; but still, it was too close for comfort. "Hitou-san, please drop that thing! You could hurt yourself! A normal girl like you shouldn't-"

"DON'T SAY 'NORMAL'!" Nami cried out. "I'm sick of being normal! For years, since kindergarten, I never was special! Only run-of-the-mill! Mediocre! Simple and boring!" she growled, years of pented-up frustration finally erupting out as she madly chopped around. "I'm tired of that! I'd even prefer being a vampire!"

"Show him no mercy, my servants!" Eva commanded. "Strip that little chicken bare!"

The four girls paused for a moment.

"S-strip him bare?" Ai asked.

"Isn't that indecent?" Chiri's insane properness core still fought against the vampiric conditioning. "We are no pedophile perverts like 2-A!"

"No offense intended," Ai quickly added.

Eva ran a hand over her own face. "This is what comes from not biting competent help…"

Kafuka, in the meanwhile, had sneaked up behind Negi and caught him up in a tight bear embrace, giggling as she tried to get his shirt off. "Strip the little birdie, let's see the birdie..." she sang while he attempted to escape kicking and screaming.

"NO! NO! NOT THAT! PLEASE, NO! LET ME GO...!" He frantically looked into his pockets; for the last few days, he had saved a few tricks in the event of a surprise ambush, but now he was so nervous he barely remembered them. Finally he found what he was looking for, fishing it out and tossing it up into the air.

Kafuka paused, briefly looking at the tiny bottle rolling in midair before her face. _"Flans Exarmatio!"_ Negi yelled, and the bottle exploded into her nose, the blast tossing her a few steps back and also blowing most of the clothes off her torso. Otherwise she was unhurt, only coughing and slightly dizzy.

"*Cough, cough*! Ahhhh, Negi-kun...!" she lamented while looking down at herself, but making no attempt to cover herself. "I wasn't supposed to be the naked one!"

Negi ignored her, basically choosing to run away, taking a quick mental note on finding a way to avoid having to look at so many of his students in so many states of undressing. Chamo, on the other hand, just stood frozen in place and staring with wide shiny eyes.

"That's unacceptable!" a scandalized Chiri made a beeline for Negi, broom firmly in hand, taking a few more swings at him, most of them dodged until a lucky shot hit him squarely in the face and sent him barreling against a wall. "Enemy of all women! I, Kitsu Chiri, will put a stop to your sinful ways!"

"Sorry to be so useless in battle!" Ai sniffed, clumsily approaching while attempting not to spill her bucket down. "It's my fault this is taking so long!"

Nami also zeroed in, the three girls surrounding Negi while Kafuka stayed behind laughing dumbly. The young teacher gulped helplessly, furiously running escape plans at full speed in his head. But every situation he could think of ended with either some of the girls or himself hurt...

Then, a voice.

It chanted what he recognized as a magic activation release, from the sudden spike of magical energy in the air. He also could feel a, by now familiar, dark aura faintly washing all over the place. It smelt of rancid, decaying despair, and an unending, quiet sadness without equal.

_"Bure, bure bure bure bure bure..." _the male voice said, and an abrupt spiral of an invisible force sprang up pushing the students away from the Welsh teacher.

"AIIIIEEEE!" Nami shrieked.

"Oh no!" Ai hugged the bucket to prevent it from spilling out. "I can't make a mess on the floor! I'll be scolded! And fairly! It all will be my fault!"

"Who dares-!" Faithful to the old traditions to the end, Chiri spat the old cliche out.

But Eva just stared calmly, arms crossed, at the tall and lanky figure who had just showed up at the bath's back door. Dressed in his eternal hakama and wooden sandals, with a very old and musty wooden ruler in a hand, dark magic flowing out of it in spirals of blackness. "Ah. Despair," she snorted.

"Itoshiki-sensei..." Negi breathed out.

The older teacher took his head back and sighed melodramatically. "This will end in tears," he loudly lamented. "Mine!"

* * *

><p>Silently sneaking into the communal bath with the stealth earned from years of spying on others for fresh gossip, Kakizaki Misa witnessed, open mouthed, a chain of events she never would have believed possible ever before.<p>

First, just as soon as she had slid in behind everyone's backs, cowering behind a huge marble pillar, she had managed to see the tall sexy blonde at the top of the summer hut changing into Evangeline. Then the 2-F idiots had jumped on Negi-kun, seemingly trying their darn best to kill him. At that point Misa did try to call for help, but for some reason her cellphone had just died on her, as if something had cut its signal down. Then Itoshiki-sensei had shown up to save Negi-kun, displaying a weird magic of sorts against his own students.

It all was enough to make Misa to believe her sanity was slipping, big time. She quietly prayed someone had just slipped her some illegal thing into her drink at the movie theater, and she'd be alright by morning. But she wouldn't bet on it.

It all made a turn for the even worse when she realized Chachamaru had spotted her. Evangeline seemed too busy looking at Negi and Nozomu to care about anything else, but Chachamaru was only creepily staring straight into the purple haired girl's direction, not saying a single word, but obviously keeping her even, cold gaze on her. Misa shuddered, feeling herself caught with no way out. Should she try to run away? Would Chachamaru allow that? Even if she did, wouldn't the others realize her presence if she moved now?

Itoshiki's sandals calmly clacked against the floor as the man walked ahead, his head hanging low, the aura around himself shifting and swirling like a living beast. "There is a single good thing about being a pessimist," he began. "You're always right. The Dean and Takahata said there was no point on hunting for you. No doubt they believed your raids had stopped. But I knew better, Evangeline-san! A monster will always be a monster. And now, all these sleepless nights of prowling around waiting for your move have paid off! All those scratches from stray cats, bites from stray dogs, and sexual harassing from stray invading bums, were worth it just to see I was right!"

Evangeline yawned. "You finished now?"

Nozomu paused thoughtfully and nodded, panting just a bit after his tirade.

"Are you sure?" the undead mage insisted. "I know how much you like to rant..."

"As do you. Your turn," Itoshiki offered chivalrously.

"Thanks," Eva said in a flat tone before rasping and entering Evil Ham territory again. "MWA HA HA HA! Hopeless simpleton! Pathetic insect! Do you underestimate me enough to compare your meager powers with mine, or are you that willing to beg for your final release? Never mind; I shall not be your adversary."

She pointed a hand at him. "My minions! I know how you lust for this sorry excuse for a man, so release your most secret passions upon him!"

Chamo was banging his head against a wall. "And they call him unlucky!"

Itoshiki stared blankly. "... Lust?"

"... Lust?" Negi echoed, just as lost as him, though in a different way. "What's 'lust'? Itoshiki-sensei, what does 'lust' mean?"

Itoshiki froze. "Ask Takamichi!"

From her hiding place, Misa was similarly perplexed. Even after the flight on a stick, the taking ferret, the vampire witch and someone trying to cut Negi with an ax, the fact someone could have the hots for Despair-sensei was the oddest thing that day had to offer.

However, the four girls seemed all for it. With a fascinated, morbid interest they hadn't shown for Negi (confirming, in Misa's opinion, that they obviously had bad taste), they dashed from their separate directions to encircle Itoshiki, their eyes shining in red hues.

"Itoshiki-sensei..." Chiri huskily crooned.

"Let's play doctor, Sensei..." Kafuka cooed. "Or let's play house. Or Doctor House...!"

"K-Kafuka-san, please cover yourself!" the man averted his gaze, blushing bright crimson. "Being a bloodthirsty soulless fiend is no excuse for exhibitionism!"

"S-S-Sorry, but we can't let you go..." Ai meekly stammered.

"If I rip your heart off and keep it as a memento of love on my nightdesk, I won't be normal anymore, will I?" Nami asked with patent hope in her voice.

"For your class' standards?" Nozomu cringed. "Maybe."

"Itoshiki-sensei, hold on! I'll help you!" Negi raced after them, only to be stopped by the sound of Evangeline's boastful laughter.

"Ho ho ho ho! No, Boyo, you'll be playing a different kind of game!" As she spoke, a huge flock of black bats flew all around her, converging upon her shoulders to melt all together forming a huge black cape for her. "Are you ready? Chachamaru!" she commanded.

"Yes, Master," the robot whispered before flying down in a swift swoop, cannon-balling towards the boy. He jumped back just in time to avoid her right fist, which cracked a hole on the piece of floor where he had stood a second before. "I apologize, Negi-sensei. Perhaps after this I can make it up to you. Would you like to learn martial arts? Tantric positioning, perhaps? Wait, forget that last part. It must have been a bug in my programming."

Still standing above, Eva stretched her arms open and shouted, _**"Li La Lalac Li Lilac! Septendecium Spiritus Glaciales Coeuntes Inimicum Concidant!"**_

Immediately, and just as Chachamaru charged ahead again, seventeen bolts of flying ice arched up from Eva and targeted Negi, flying at a dizzying speed looking for his body. Misa gasped and even stood back as she saw her teacher barely dodging a few that froze the floor and the walls they hit, batting a few others away with his staff and jumping over others, all the while escaping Chachamaru's insistent pursuit.

Nozomu was too busy barely surviving Kafuka's tosses of knives still safely stocked in her pantyhose, Nami's ax and Chiri's broomstick, which swatted and swatted, every hit coming closer to its mark. And Evangeline only smirked maliciously like a delighted ringmaster from hell. Finally, the blonde reached out with an outstretched hand and shouted, "Sagitta Magica, Series Glacialis!"

An array of floating ice arrows appeared over her hand, shooting themselves at Negi, flying around Chachamaru without touching her. Most of them missed their target, but one of them hit Negi's right shoulder, leaving a slight cold wound and pushing him back against a large window. Another one hit him in a leg with similar results, pushing him further back, so violently his body broke through the window and he fell out and down into the darkness of the night, with a scream.

"NEGI-KUN!" Forgetting everything else, Misa ran into the open, terrified and aghast.

"Negi-Sensei!" Itoshiki struggled to hold Chiri's broomstick at bay. "No! You can't die before ME, like everyone else! There's no fairness in this world!"

Maybe as some sort of divine karma, Chiri made a bullseye on his head with her next strike. "... Ouch!"

* * *

><p>For a moment, Negi lost all awareness and briefly plummeted into a black state of total mental disconnection as he plummeted down to certain doom. However, right when Chachamaru was about to jump out the window for a save, he opened his eyes back and grasped his staff, willing it to fly up right before reaching the ground.<p>

Holding onto it, he ascended, managing to climb on top of it, to mount it ignoring the intense pain in his wounded leg. Standing at the window's edge, Evangeline smirked while seeing him flying away. "Hm. Not that bad. More endurance than I thought," she mused. "Most grown men can't even move after being hit by a single arrow. Still, he'll be an easy prey after this. Chachamaru! After him!" she said as she jumped out as well amidst a hundred shrieks of black bats, quickly gaining height in her aerial pursuit.

Chachamaru gave the stunned, pale Misa a brief gaze, mostly to see if she was okay, before her feet activated its rockets impulsing her into the air after her tiny mistress. "Yes, Master."

"Wait, you two! Wait!" Kakizaki tried to run after her, stopping at the window, her long purple hair flowing in the icy breeze. "What the hell are you trying to do to Negi-kun!"

Chamo came to her side, shaking his head. "It's terrible, Sis! Terrible! Evangeline there is a vampire, and she won't stop until she has drunk the Bro's blood! I don't know what to do! Looks like nothing can stop her!"

"D-Don't shit me!" she cursed, shuddering past anything she ever thought possible. "This is too much for me to buy it! Who's voicing you? Why do you keep saying 'Bro'? Are you Neil Patrick Harris? How did you get enough budget for this crazy stunt? And why to waste it on pranking me?-!"

"Get real, Sis!" the ermine shouted angrily. "Don't you think this is all too large scoped to be only a joke? Get with the program if you want to help me save the Bro!"

"Saving Negi-kun?" the girl's face twitched uncontrollably. "B-But how?-! I have no special talents, nothing that could help him now-"

"That can be fixed!" Chamo waved a paw up and down. "I'll explain everything on our way there! You with me, yes or not?"

Misa gave Itoshiki-sensei a very brief doubtful glare. "Despair-sensei, what about you?"

"I'll be..." Itoshiki said while pinballing between walls after another precise strike of Chiri's broom, "... okay! Really, just..." he continued as Ai intercepted him with a mop to the head, "... do your best for him! I'll hold..." he gurgled after Kafuka kicked him in the head, "... my students here for you in the meanwhile!"

"Umm, alright," the 2-A student hummed while trotting for the door. "Yeah. Some advice; do try to fight back, will you? Girls tend to prefer men with a spine..."

"I'll take it in account..." the teacher blandly promised right before being sent bouncing against a wall. "Owww. Too much for that spine. I do believe now I have four of them..."

Misa was just glad the psycho maids were too focused on their sensei to even attempting to stop her from leaving. "Well, and how do you suggest we find Negi-kun?" she asked Chamo, as they both ran out of the building. "For that matter, how can we reach him before he's street pizza?"

"Leave that to me!" the ermine replied. "I can feel both the smell and the magical presence of the Bro no matter where he is! That way!" he sprinted ahead, towards the East. "If we're lucky, we'll reach him either before he's a dry corpse, or after the devil duo has left!"

"... You aren't exactly the best pet a boy could hope for, did you know that?" Misa clenched her teeth while following him. If that was a showing of what Chisame and the Prof had to deal with in a routine basis, she had a new-found admiration for them.

Meanwhile, several streets of distance ahead, the witch and the robot closed in at breakneck speed, Negi's staff barely keeping a safe distance by now. His head felt like it was boiling from the inside, even as the wounds on his shoulder and leg felt so chilly they threatened to numb his limbs down. He had believed it'd be better for Itoshiki-sensei if he lured the attention away from him, but did he have the right idea? He couldn't even think straight anymore. He felt feverish and nauseous, the world a blur around him, and not only because of his flight speed. Had he heard Kakizaki-san's voice back there as he was falling? He couldn't be sure. Only one half-rational thought filled his mind now.

_The bridge. Gotta reach the bridge._

He still could notice Evangeline sending more Ice Arrows after him, and he forced his right arm to react. Pulling an old, rusty artifact out of his pants, he took aim, remembered Mana's words on concentration to use his skills, and shot the Arrows zooming at him. Much to his relief, the blasts of pure magic hit all their targets, making them to harmlessly explode in midair.

"My, my. A magical gun?" Eva mused. "You don't see many of those lately. It must have costed him a small fortune..."

"From my time cohabiting with Negi-sensei, I gathered data on his hobby of collecting magical oddities," Chachamaru dutifully informed. "All projectiles destroyed. Will you try again?"

"Never with the same trick twice," her mistress smiled, then brought her hands up. _**"Nivis Casus!"**_ she shouted, summoning a small storm of snow all over the child.

"Arrrgh!" Negi screamed as he lost balance, then zoomed down making a bad landing amidst some barely cushioning bushes. Even then, he recovered quickly, limping stubbornly toward the nearby suspension bridge. The shadows of the ground below offered him some cover as he scurried away like a wounded animal.

"Ah ha ha ha!" Evangeline laughed. "It's like hunting a little rabbit!"

"Master," Chachamaru was not exactly amused, "We'd better not extend this anymore. We aren't left with that much time to finish it..."

"All right, all right," the immortal bloodsucker sighed. "I'll be merciful and give him a quick coup-de-grace." Her sharp eyes scanned the ground below. "Just let me see where's he now..."

Running with no pause, panting softly and sticking as close to the buildings and walls as he could, trying to find cover at each turn, Negi knew he had to take a different approach. He couldn't take an unbound Evangeline on even terms. He needed another edge. But what...? What...?

Mana's words rang in his head again.

_"Sensei, you have people around you that can be of more help to you than me. Look closer around yourself, and you'll find what you look for. Trust your friends"._

_"Girls..."_ he hoarsely whispered."_Please forgive me..."_

With a trembling hand, he reached into his shirt for the closer card to his heart. He felt its warmth as his fingers grasped it, as if its power was calling out for him. It was almost as warm as the sleeping embrace of Chisame herself.

He pulled it out in a single swift motion. It seemed to faintly glow between his fingers as the silver moonlight hit upon it.

_'Idolum Virtuale'_

He pressed the card's edge against his forehead and closed his eyes, allowing his thoughts to flow into the Pactio instrument.

_Chisame-san? Chisame-san, please... I... I think I may need help..._

* * *

><p>There was not much for them to do, alone at the darkness, than sitting there waiting for him.<p>

I mean, yeah, Hakase was itching to put her hands on some machinery and start tinkering with it as usual, but even she couldn't do that in the middle of a complete blackness (at least not in around seventy percent of the attempts. She had taken self studies on it. Only three out of ten times did she end up with any level of success. Every other time she ended making a shapeless mess, a toy monkey playing drums, a tubular thing that was only good for turning screws with sonic waves, or some strange two-ended buzzing thing she always dumped onto Haruna's doorstep. Haruna never seemed to complain). And she could have looked for a lamp or lantern around to help her with the task, but after stumbling and falling thrice in her search, Chisame had convinced her to stop it and just sit down with her on the top bunk. To wait.

"We really need to buy him a cellphone," Hasegawa quietly mused, her legs dangling off the bed's edge.

"If you're so concerned, why not to call him using the Pactio cards?" Satomi proposed. "Chamo-san said they could be used with communication purposes."

"Yeah, because Misa won't suspect anything magical in nature when she notices his card's bleeping or whatever it does when we call him," Chisame pointed out in turn. "She may be a cheerleader, but she isn't THAT dumb."

"Point," Hakase sulked.

"I wonder what they are doing," Chisame muttered bitterly.

"What do you mean?" the scientist innocently asked.

"Well, you know!" her roommate waved a hand around. "I've never trusted Kakizaki. She knows no shame, and you know it."

"Do I?" Satomi blinked without a clue.

Chisame sighed. "Forgive me. I forgot I was talking with **you**."

"If you were so convinced of Kakizaki-san's dubious moral condition, why would you allow her to walk away alone with Negi-sensei?" Hakase questioned.

"What did you expect me to do? To slap her around and put a restriction order on her?" the hacker snarked before pausing, somewhat allured by the idea. "It may sound very, very good in theory, but-"

"I could inject mind altering nanobots in her bloodstream," the genius offered.

Chisame looked half horrified, half tempted by the notion. "Could you actually do that?"

Hakase shrugged. "I have the schematics. I haven't tested it on lab animals yet, but now that we have Chamo-san..."

Hasegawa nodded vaguely. "Sounds like a plan. A monstrous, best left untouched one, but... Tell you what; we'll consider it if she doesn't bring him back before midnight."

"Deal."

Chisame ruffled her hair almost fondly. "That's my friend."

Then, however, both of them tensed, feeling something radiating from under Chisame's pillow. It was a strange sensation, like that of a living, pulsing warm heart sending a signal for them, especially Chisame. It felt a lot like the Pactio kiss, as well. Confused, biting her lower lip, the brown haired teen reached under the pillow and pulled her Card out. The sensation was even stronger now, almost burning in touch with her hand.

_"I believe it's a message,"_ Hakase reverently whispered.

"H-How do I answer?" Chisame cringed, fearing the worst now.

"Chamo-san told me how it works. You have to touch it with your forehead. My theory is, after that, the influx of what I call, for a lack of a better term, Magitrons, that is, particles of so-called 'magical' energy in a sub-molecular level, have an easier access into your central nervous system, passing through the skin and skull and directly into the brain cells, where they display-"

"Why didn't he tell **me **about it?-!" Chisame angrily cut the expo-speak out while placing her card on her own forehead.

"He did," Satomi said. "You were too busy updating your page."

"Oh," Hasegawa blinked right before Negi's voice faintly reached her mind, not her ears. "Sensei? Is that really you?"

Hakase curiously observed how her roommate's eyes widened in shock. "Evangeline?-!" Chisame gasped.

"Is Chachamaru with them?" Satomi eagerly asked.

Chisame gestured for her to be quiet. "Are you okay? No, tell me the truth! I know that tone of yours! It's the one you always use when you try feigning innocence, you little creep! What? Two times! Oh my God! You need a doctor! To hell with your secret, you could lose your life!"

"What is he saying? What is he saying?" Hakase bugged her until Hasegawa just pressed a hand over her mouth.

"The suspension bridge? Are you sure? Yeah. Yeah! Okay, we won't tell anyone! On our way!"

Chisame lowered the card with a haunted expression hanging on her face. "We also can call each other with these things, can't we?"

"Yes, we can. Why?"

"We need to reach Kasuga. And you'd better bring that speedster gizmo of yours again." She looked noticeably freen at the thought.

* * *

><p>Misora slept lying on her stomach, mouth wide open and tongue half hanging out, two slight blobs of saliva making puddles over it. Cocone quietly slept in the lower bunk, cuddled against her pillow, hugging it tightly.<p>

That was until the strange faint glow and the unmistakable magical pulse began to radiate from Misora's night desk. Cocone immediately opened her eyes, her pupils going straight to the source of the sudden disturbance. Her friend above stirred a bit, but otherwise only shifted around in the covers and buried her face into her Liddo-kun pillow.

Cocone exhaled the briefest hint of a sigh before sitting up, then standing up, fixing her long thick nightshirt, her bare little feet softly tapping against the carpet as she walked. She easily located the exact origin of the pulse, opening a drawer and pulling the Card from between the pages of Misora's _Neo Horizon _English book. Fitting, actually. Without missing a beat, the small girl walked back to the bunks, climbing up to Misora's bed, poking her friend's ribs with a finger.

"Nnnh. Too early," Misora grunted, her voice slurring, pulling apart from the poking finger. "Lemme sleep."

_"Your Magister calls,"_ Cocone softly whispered. Now that was enough to wake the older apprentice in the spot.

"S-Say what?-!" Misora sprang up in shock, tightening the pillow against her chest. "Muh-Muh-Magister?-! That's some dream you were having! I don't have... any..."

Unfazed, Cocone just held the card right before her face.

Misora just stared at it with a blush and a frozen face before helplessly offering, "I'm sure that's another Kasuga Misora."

"It's your duty," the smaller girl said, in a still very low, but somewhat more strict and stern, tone. "Honor it."

"C-Cocone-chan..." Misora fidgeted shamefully while accepting the card, "Sorry, I... I wanted to tell you, but... the right moment hadn't-"

"Just answer," the child calmly urged her.

"Y-Yeah..." Being wiser to the ways of magic than Chisame and Hakase, she immediately placed the card's edge against her forehead. Hasegawa's voice then screamed into her mind.

_FINALLY! What the Hell took you so long?-!_

"Some of us do sleep, Miss Internet Zombie!" Misora yelled back, as Cocone quietly sat down next to her, her telepathy sense easily picking on the whole conversation. "What happened?"

_Evangeline is chasing Sensei around! He just called me. We're getting ready to go help him, and you'd better drag your butt here with us before it's too late!_

"Wait, what?-!" the nun in training blinked. "How did you guys allow that to happen? You're supposed to be his guardians! What were you doing, too busy dressing up and playing Virtual Idol to care?-!"

_No one was expecting an attack so soon! Certainly not you, either! Look, we'll argue later, but right now, he needs us! He told me he'd be at the suspension bridge, so let's head straight there. Now!_

"Wait, there must be something-!" Misora began to protest, but then the communication was cut out. The young apprentice hunched over ahead, with wide round eyes, cold sweat all over her, and a panicked face. "I'm not ready for that! I'm gonna get killed! It was a short, unfulfilling life..." she whined. "I DON'T WANNA DIE A VIRGIN!"

"I'll help you," Cocone said.

"What?" Misora snapped out of her funk a bit. "Oh, no, absolutely not! I like you and all, Cocone-chan, and I think you're great, but I-I uh, I don't really swing... that is, your too young! It would be illegal for us to-"

"Help you deal with Evangeline," Cocone said, an unspoken 'baka' hanging in the air.

"Oh, no, no. no way! If you die too, Sister Shakti will just deny me burial on sacred ground and throw my ashes into the sea! Then she'll find some way to bring me back just so she can kill me herself, and use my skull as some kind of paperweight!"

Cocone put one of her small hands on hers. "Please."

The older girl made a confused, embarrassed face. "But... after I kept this secret from you..."

"I already suspected."

"What?-!" Misora jerked back. "But how...?"

"You were spending too long away... with classmates you never before were close to..."

Misora's guilt feeling grew larger. "I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to..."

Cocone just climbed down with ease and began to put her veil on. "We're in a hurry."

"You really sure you want to go...?"

A brief nod. "That's what friends do."

The other girl nodded, silently impressed by her resolve. Her hands still were trembling in fear, but just a little less now. She would need to protect her Cocone-chan. And Negi-kun.

She held the card high, drew in a very deep breath, and said in a clearer voice,

_"Adeat."_

* * *

><p><em><strong>The Bathhouse:<strong>_

"I've just had an idea!" Kafuka piped in while throwing another panty-showing kick in Nozomu's direction, one he barely managed to dodge with a clumsy move that was more of a fall back than anything else. "If we split Sensei in four parts, we all will get to keep him!"

"Four equal pieces?" Chiri's eyes glinted in approval. "Brilliant thinking, Kafuka-san! Now all we need is a measuring tape and a lawyer to properly redact our terms of division of estate..."

"Kaere-chan knows an excellent legal firm!" Kafuka further cheered up.

"What? What?" Nozomu helplessly babbled while rolling back, Nami's ax almost chopping his hair off. "Am I nothing but a communal property now? Will this degrade my already laughable market value?"

"Don't be so picky about your situation, please, Sensei. You offend us," Chiri scoffed while whacking him across the face and against a corner. "You should count yourself lucky to have our attentions, you know. If you insist on despising and mocking our sincere affections, we might be forced to truly go harsh on you!"

"Your 'affections' are nothing but murder attempts!" the man yelled out.

"That's a very cruel thing to say," Chiri briefly looked aside, with a hurt expression. "We're in an age where our blooming passions are very painful and difficult to express naturally. A truly loving man would just think of a way to accept our efforts without crushing all our hopes for the future... Besides, shouldn't you of all people find that hot?"

"I'm not a loving man, I'm a teacher! Years of underpaid labor serving the needs of the young and the unruly have killed my heart off!"

The long haired girl fumed. "If not because of your heart, then because of your sense of duty! It's improper to damage a loving maiden's feelings like that! Don't you fancy yourself a gentleman?"

"Alas, sadly, no!" Itoshiki slumped down like a battered ragdoll. "Since my birth, I have failed the expectations everyone has ever placed upon me! I failed to become the heir my family needed! I failed to become popular among my peers ever since kindergarten! Then I was rejected by the cool team of hot blooded adventures I had admired since my childhood after reaching my teen years! Time after time, I met nothing but failure at taking my own life, despite everyone's wishes, especially mine! And then, not only did I end up taking the most despair inducing job in existence, but I was assigned to teach your class instead of a decent one!"

Chiri had looked almost actually moved through most of that rant, until the last sentence mad her eyes to glow in red again. "You know..." she hissed. "When we claim your body, we'll definitely need to take the tongue off..."

She failed to notice the small but compact swirling field of black energy gathering itself in a spiral around Itoshiki's right fist, powering it up, until it suddenly raised itself up, knocking her up across the chin and sending her flying a few steps back with her eyes fully white, knocking her down and out in a single punch.

"GAH!" Itoshiki looked at his treacherous fist. "This is unforgivable! Once more, my cowardly body betrays me! What have I done? I've just struck an innocent, nubile student whose only sin was attempting to help me get rid of my worthless life! I'm a shame to myself and all of mankind! I'M IN DESPAIR!" he screamed. "MY SELF-PRESERVATION PRIMAL INSTINCTS HAVE LEFT ME IN OUT OF CHARACTERNESS *AND* DESPAIR!"

The three other girls simply stared at each other in puzzled silence for a few moments, until Ai shyly asked, "Umm... Sorry about my selfishness, but with Kitsu-san out, does this mean we'll only have to split Sensei between the three of us now?"

Nami smirked, her grip on the ax's handle tightening with eagerness. "You can't argue with Math..."

"Errrr, I'm a Classic Lit teacher, remember...?" Itoshiki gave a few steps aside, vainly looking for the exit. "For Math, you'll be better looking for Ririko Kagome-san..."

"We'll cope with what we have at hand..." Nami licked her lips before jumping on him.

A girlish scream filled the night. Itoshiki's.

* * *

><p>Wiping some last remnants of snow and ice from his cheeks, Negi spurred himself to run a few blocks more, hoping to reach the river in time. Unfortunately, just as he was seeing the bridge almost at his reach, he also could hear the chilling female laughter from above.<p>

"Ha ha ha ha! Is running away all you're good for, Boya? Can't you toss even throw a single sad spell at me?"

He had been spotted! Never stopping, he watched over his shoulder, to look up at the pair of aerial figures hovering above, almost catching up to him. Evangeline had an outstretched hand up, charging power on it for another strike.

**_"Veniant Spiritus Glaciales, Extendatur Aeri..."_ **she chanted ominously. _**"Tundram et Glaciem Loci Noctis Albae!"**_

Another ice-related conjuration, he noticed ever before feeling how all the already scarce heat of their surroundings seemed to be sucked up and out of the air itself, leaving only a freezing and uncomfortable sensation of extreme coldness washing over the ground. And then, she projected her hand down, screaming,

_"CRYSTALLIZATIO TELLUSTRIS!"_

Then gigantic pikes of thick ice fell from above, nailing themselves down into the ground, cracking it open and causing a small tremor all around, enough to shake Negi off his feet and make him to fall flat on his right side, hurting himself in the arm holding the staff.

"Ah!" he gasped, trying to roll around to minimize the impact. It didn't work much, but he at least avoided hitting his head, and he could quickly stand back, panting and wheezing, backing away until his feet reached the suspension bridge. He continued walking back, slowly, warily, while the vampiress and her servant softly landed on their feet at the end of the bridge.

"A basic, yet decent strategy for a coward," Eva dryly mocked. "Attempting to escape beyond the limits of the Academy, where I'm unable to wander out. Don't you think it's a very pathetic plan, Sensei...?"

He hardened his glare as much as he could. "Not much worse than hiding behind slaves."

"HAH! Finally, you show some galls. But too little, too late," the small blonde said. "This game has been moderately fun, but not anymore. You can't escape Chachamaru, and if you attempt to run away, she'll simply catch you and deliver you to me. So I offer you a last mercy. Come here willingly, and prove you are a man after all. Surrender to your destiny with some dignity. Then, and only then, I'll make your defeat a quick and painless one."

He didn't move. "No."

Evangeline smiled, noticing he was assuming a clumsy fighting stance. "You do have some strange notions of courage. Choosing to run and choosing to fight, both at the absolute worst moments. Oh, well," she sighed and snapped her fingers. "Chachamaru, please..."

"Yes... Master," the gynoid gave a step ahead.

"S-Stay back!" Negi stammered. "I'm not a believer on corporal punishment on students, but-!"

"Try us," Evangeline challenged.

_"Aer Derma, Sacicienda Eson Blem!"_the boy waved his staff, creating a huge wall of hot air that blew part of the ice spikes all across both students, just as he rushed ahead aiming for the spot between them.

_"Umbrale Nautica!" _he added, no summoning a large invisible bubble of compacted, hurricaned air that hrew them both off balance, allowing him to pass by running between them, attempting to rush back between the buildings of the campus. However, the unliving mage recovered very quickly, projecting another spell upon him, her hands glowing in a ghostly whiteish hue.

**_"Lukurakura Dakurakura Sofi Negi Spiritus!"_**

Immediately, he felt himself faltering, falling on his stomach and gasping for air. His wounds ached even more now, as well as his right arm, making nearly impossible for him to move. He still attempted to worm away, muttering between clenched teeth, "That's a... forbidden spell of personal damage, isn't it?"

Mc Dowell nodded. "It strikes the whole body through the spirit residing it. It consumes a lot of magical energy, but luckily, I'm overflowing with it tonight. Leave it to me, Chachamaru," she asked, giving a step towards him and away from the bridge. "Now he's headed this way, he wasted his only slight chance to elude me." She opened her mouth, fangs glinting dangerously. She floated up and threw herself at him. "You're all mine, son of the Thousand Master!"

However, Chachamaru tensed immediately, attempting to reach and grab her cape with a hand at the last moment, barely missing it. "Master, no! Beware!"

Eva had not even heard her, but she did notice the cause of her alarm. Someone had just jumped out of the nearby shadows to quickly stand before the fallen boy with her arms extended around, shielding him and forcing the Mistress of Puppets to make a sudden, violent last second change of direction, nearly crashing against a tree. She landed in the grass, jerking her head up to look at the newcomer with rage filled eyes. "You...?"

Negi looked up at his unlikely savior with a mix of fear and agitation. "Ku-Kakizaki-san..?"

Ironically firm on shaky legs, the girl with the purple hair gulped loudly without leaving her current pose. "You okay, Negi-kun?"

* * *

><p>"Kakizaki Misa..." Evangeline dragged the words in a hiss, standing upright to shoot her an acerbic stare. "Why are you here? Is there anyone with you?"<p>

Misa said nothing, keeping herself still even if nervous under the shorter girl's glare.

"Kakizaki-san, please..." Negi struggled to get up, attempting to push himself up with his hands. "Get away..."

Eva tilted her head aside like a curious owl. In other circumstances, it'd have been cute. "What? You always were so talkative, Kakizaki... What happened to you? Bat got your tongue?" Her tone grew harsher, impatient. "How much do you know? Chachamaru, scan the area. Tell me if she's alone or not."

The robot's eyes briefly shone in apple green. "Chamo-san is cowering behind the third lamp post at our right, but otherwise, no sapient creatures other than us are in the immediate proximities, Master."

"Then the little weasel was desperate enough to bring you, huh?" the immortal smirked. "I guess Hakase and her ragtag bunch were too cowardly to follow on their word after all."

"Evangeline," Misa finally spoke up, "I don't understand what got into you, but... Don't you think there are better ways to get into a boy's pants?"

The bloodsucker blinked. "What."

"I mean, I get he's too cute for words, but taking him by force is not the way to go! At least try being a bit more subtle!" the cheerleader said. "Boys today aren't that much into pushy girls... because they're, ahhh... more sensible than... before..."

Eva tapped a foot down. "Are you idiotic enough to actually believe that's what I'm trying here, or are you just trying to confuse me?"

"Don't play coy with me!" Misa declared nervously. "I've been listening to you all night! Practically every third thing you said has been a sexual innuendo!"

"Child," the vampiress flashed her fangs back, making Misa to shudder, "I don't like being mocked. If you already know what I am, then you know it's very unwise to cross me. And if you don't yet, then this should be enough to clue even your empty brain in. Now step aside. Go back to your shallow life before I end it up for you."

"E-Evangeline-san...!" Negi stiffly groaned, getting a few more inches up.

Misa just closed her eyes, whispering a half-forgotten prayer under her breath. Then she pulled two sticks from behind her back, obviously picked up off the ground, holding one vertical and the other horizontal in a cross shape. "Begone, evil one!" she declared. "The power compells you!"

Evangeline let a sigh out. "Why does people keep on thinking I'm the devil? Only because I like draining the precious vital fluids of young victims?"

"There, see!" Misa said triumphantly. "That was another one!"

Evangeline gave another step ahead. "Away from me, child."

Misa shook her head stubbornly, standing still even as she trembled and tightened her closed eyelids. Eva made a signal with her head to Chachamaru, and dutifully, the robot grabbed Misa with the utmost care and lifted her up like you would lift a newborn kitty, safely placing her aside and patting her head with a placid, slightly bashful smile. "Sorry about this," the servant said. "I promise you won't get hurt no matter what."

"Yeah, fine," her mistress grumbled. "Now you, on the other hand..." she turned a sadistic smirk to Negi. Seeing he was attempting to stand back on his staff, she grabbed it forcefully, tugged it away making him to fall back on his face, and tossed it back and off the bridge, into the river below. "I always hated this stupid stick of his..."

"Master, now that was cruel..." Chachamaru observed.

"My staff!" Negi cried out, his eyes growing huge and welling up with tears. "Eva-san, you're too mean! Why?-! That... That was my most beloved possession! You're a horrible person! I'll never... never forget-!"

Evangeline stopped him with an angry bark. "Silence! Spineless maggot! You dare to bawl like a baby after invoking my wrath!-?"

"To be fair, he wasn't the one starting it all..." Chachamaru quietly pointed out.

"That makes no difference!" Eva claimed. "In matters of life and death, it doesn't matter 'who started it', but how do you cope with it all! Even that Thousand Master fool knew that! If you ever want to be a man like him, you brat, I advise you to remember that! Complaining about the unfairness of life never got anyone anywhere!"

"Seriously?" Misa asked. "It always gets me a raise out of Daddy..."

Ignoring her, Evangeline knelt down next to Negi. Her hands suddenly caressed his cheeks, almost soothingly. "But I guess you're brave enough for your age. Most children of these times have no courage or honor. Spoiled little rotten parasytes. You could hope to be something different..."

He gasped helplessly, staring into her deep, mesmerizing green eyes. "Ah...?"

"You were a fool, coming after me alone. But I'll still grant you a sweet release after your efforts. Just close your eyes. I promise it won't hurt..."

"Innuendo! Innuendo!" Misa declared.

"Master..." Chachamaru sounded almost concerned, even as she quickly grabbed Misa's right arm, stopping her from interfering.

But Negi didn't close his eyes. He only could stare in horror as Evangeline's warm mouth, breathing in and out in eager gasps, closed in to his neck, until the points of the fangs broke through the soft skin, making him to yelp. It was not very painful, being more like dual tiny injections piercing him, but it all simply terrified him beyond words.

Evangeline smirked triumphally to herself and began to suck avidly, savoring the first droplets of sweet blood hitting her tongue.

* * *

><p>Itoshiki Nozomu ran all across the baths for not-so-dear life, with his clothes in disarray and his face covered by pink lipstick marks, with Nami, Kafuka and Ai hot on his trail, although the girl with the mop dragged somewhat behind the others, never ceasing to apologize because of it.<p>

"It's unheard of! Scandalous!" he cried out. "The seed of evil has borne fruit at the sacred gardens of this Academy!"

"We only want a different kind of seed, Itoshiki-sensei!" Nami claimed.

"And the only garden we'll take you to is Eden!" Kafuka promised.

He stubbornly covered his ears with both hands. "Stop tempting me with your vile sweet offerings of soft, nubile, underaged flesh, you harpies!"

"... We ARE getting to him!" Nami cheered at that.

"YAY! Sensei's Tsundere over us!" Kafuka jumped up, making her bare chest bounce. "That's the key to TRUE LOVEEE!"

"S-Stupid Students!" Nozomu babbled, suddenly sounding like Kugimiya Rie. "I-It's not like I like you or anything! Urusai! Urusai! Urusai!"

Then he suddenly found himself running face-first into a wall, falling down on his butt with blood flowing freely out of his nose.

"Waiii!" Fuura all but melted. "He's even nosebleeding for us now!"

"Iff iffn't dat, fffou ifffiot!" Itoshiki desperately tried to hold the blood back stuffing his nose up with a tissue. "I haff jufft bwoken my noffe by hafff!"

"End of the road, Sensei," Nami stopped before him, hands on her hips, even the one holding the ax. "It's time to live happily ever after!"

"There are two words wrong with that sentence, and they're 'live' and 'happily'!" he protested, so exasperated his voice could even overcome the fact his nose was broken.

Nami shrugged. "I heard you can get used to a perfectly happy life as a mutilated mess as long as you're loved."

"I DON'T THINK THAT'S ANY SORT OF CONCLUSION BACKED UP BY SCIENCE!"

Their stimulating, heartwarming, heartfelt, and no doubt soon-to-be heart ripping discussion, however, was interrupted by a sudden scream of "I'M SORRYYYY!" Then a loud clank of a metal handle crashing against skull, as Ai whacked both of her classmates across the head with her mop, instantly knocking them down at Itoshiki's feet.

"Kaga-san!" the sitting teacher stared up at his nerve-wrecked student with wide eyes. "You've done it! You've struggled free from the grip of darkness! Congratulations! Out of all of your peers, I never thought your weak willed spirit could perform such prowesses, but I'm glad, for once, to be proven wrong again in my pathetic suppositi-"

He was cut short by Ai emptying the contents of her bucket all over him. Itoshiki shuddered, seeing himself covered by blood from head to toes. "Wha-What in the name of Poe and King is this?-! Is this actual human blood?-!"

Ai nodded gravelly. "Sorry to break it to you, but yes... The Master said it was taken from many of her innocent victims! Sorry to involve you into this, the original plan was to spill it on Negi-sensei, but I'm so incompetent, and I allowed him to escape, because I'm so useless, such a failure in life..."

"Human blood!" Itoshiki stared at his crimson-stained hands. "What kind of monster is Evangeline Mc Dowell? That inhuman murderess! That fiendish black soul! I shudder to imagine the means she used to amass this amount of the precious element of life! AND WHY DIDN'T SHE TAKE IT FROM _ME, _DARN IT! I COULD HAVE DIED!"

* * *

><p><em>Last Night, at the Academy City Municipal Cattle Slaughterhouse:<em>

Sneaking out the back door protecting her tiny mistress, Chachamaru attempted not to show her doubts about this step of the plan.

"Are you sure Negi-sensei will believe that is actual human blood, Master?"

"Feh, a dolt like him couldn't tell the difference. I'd bet he'll simply faint once he's blanketed by this..." she dipped a finger into the bucketful of red liquid she carried around, then licked it up avidly, "... inferior quality, yet moderately palatable blood..."

"Master, if you drink all of it, our trip here will be in vain..."

"Only a bit more," Eva lapped more of the blood, panting raggedly under her breath like a lustful beast. "Oooohhh, O Positive... Or the adequate bovine equivalent..."

"Master, you have just stained your dress, and blood is rather difficult to wash off..."

"Drat. Maybe I should have brought the overalls instead."

* * *

><p><em>Back to the Present:<em>

"So, all in all, I haven't struck my own friends in an attempt to save you, sorry," Ai bashfully confessed. "Rather, it's simply to have you all for myself. Yes, I know it's horrible selfishness on my part! And betrayal on two different levels! I'm that much of a wayward no-good person! Sorry, sorry, sorry!"

"Now, don't be that hard on yourself," Nozomu began, half moved by her sadness. "Out of all my students, you're one of the few who-"

"SORRY!" she sobbed, whacking his head down with the mop.

"OW! Wait, that's just no way to show you care ab-"

"SORRY!" she repeated, hitting him again.

"OH! My piano lessons!" Despair complained as he felt another part of his brain dying.

"SORRY!" Ai all but wailed, bringing the mop down once more.

"Ahhhh! My memories of 'Gigli'! Wait, could you hit a bit lower next time? I've been wanting to get rid of that awful night watching 'Battlefield Earth' for a while..."

Ai hit him a bit higher instead. "S-sorry! My hand slipped!"

Itoshiki fell on his stomach, barely keeping himself conscious. "It's okay. I didn't need those lessons on hockey anyway..."

"I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Kaga never stopped apologizing at the top of her lungs while brutally pummeling him, time and time again, until she finally froze in place, her eyes overflowing with tears. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I can't do anything right, I... I..."

She let the mop fall from her trembling hands and fell down to her knees, burying her face in her hands and crying madly. "I'm sorry, Master, but I can't do it...!"

Itoshiki lifted his swollen face up groggily and blurted, "What...?"

"I'm sorry I failed you! I'm sorry I couldn't do this! I'm a horrible slave, can't get anything right at al..."

"What if I had died?-!" Itoshiki angrily rubbed his multiple aching spots up while standing up again, then softened after looking at the pitiful, never wrecked teen. "... Impressive. Your guilt complex is so strong and rampant, it even can override vampire conditioning? It may be insanity, but still, in its own way, a commendable one... plus, you just helped rid me of my memories of Twilight, the Collected Works of Dan Brown, and that time I accidentally walked in on my parents…"

He softly placed his fingers over the bite wounds on her neck, reciting a healing spell with a soft, warm voice. As he did it, Ai felt her mind becoming a bit clearer and better focused... on continuing blaming herself, naturally. But she couldn't voice it at the moment. It simply felt so good, the touch of his tender bony fingers against her skin, the essence of his magic flowing into her. Her heart beat faster, and her soul felt like soaring.

"Ah... Sensei..." she moaned.

"... There," he dryly said after a few minutes of the treatment. "That should get rid of it. Evangeline-sama didn't suck that much of your blood; you won't become either a vampire or a 'ghoul'. Now listen, Kaga-san. The laws of magic say I should erase your memory right here and now, but I won't, because I need you to do me a favor after I heal your classmates as well."

She looked up at him with huge adoring eyes. "What can I do for you, Sensei...?"

"Carry your friends back home, will you? I have more pressing matters to attend to in the meanwhile."

He breathed deeply, trying for once to feel hope, hope for Negi to hold on until he could go help him again.

Of course, he failed at it. He wasn't that kind of hopeful guy at all.

* * *

><p><em>The Bridge:<em>

Eva felt the stimulating kick of the magical power entering her body as she sucked on with growing thirst, her body starting to react to the influx of energy hitting it in a nearly electrifying way. Her almost always practically dead heart pumped strongly inside of her chest, as her cheeks grew redder, and a tingling itch ran down her belly. That was the taste of success. The thrill of being back on top of everything.

Under her, Negi whimpered rolling his eyes back, languishing with a hot sensation racing over his neck area. It was something he never had felt before, something that made him to feel both weaker and stronger, almost as if suctioning his energies away only to replace them with... something else. Something that made him to pant softly, arching his back, shuddering in Evangeline's arms.

Misa stared in fascinated horror. "... Okay, now that's just wrong. D-Does she do that all the time?"

"Only to victims she really likes," Chachamaru replied with the slightest hint of awkwardness.

"... Whore," Misa muttered. "Damn her for getting it on with Sensei before me!"

"Yes…" Chachamaru murmured quietly.

Then, however, a small blur passed right before their eyes. Fast like a bullet, so fast it hit Evangeline right under an eye, almost tearing it out, before the vampiress knew it was coming or her servant could stop it.

"Ye-ow!" Evangeline let Negi's neck go, blood generously dripping off her mouth. She rubbed the aching fresh mark on her face. "What is the meaning-!"

Then, before she could even finish the sentence, much less lift a barrier up, another blur hit her between the eyes, passing through Chachamaru's defenses. It was something hard and painful, although not strong enough to make her bleed. Looking down at her feet, Eva saw it was...

"A pebble? How could a pebble hurt me?"

Then another pebble came from nowhere and hit her jawline. And another one, taking her by surprise. And another one. And another. Each one targeting her before she even could start the hand motions to lift a shield.

"Ow! Ow! Dammit! Chachamaru!"

"I'm on it, Master!" The gynoid had already dropped Misa and was actually blocking a veritable furious storm of rocks thrown their way, bombarding them with no pause. She was blocking most of them, but an actual barrage of rapid projectiles was still getting past her, too quick to be stopped, hitting Evangeline, a few of them also colliding against Negi's body. "My sensors indicate these are only normal pebbles, but the kinetic force generated by their unusually high velocity makes them much more harmful than usual!"

"SAVE ME THE ANALYSIS AND JUST GET ME WHOEVER'S DOING THIS!"

Then a larger, black and white blur ran past the robot, zooming with a small boom of the air, leaving something firmly stuck between the joints of her right elbow and snatching a shrieking Misa in mid-run. Evangeline had a momentary respite from the rain of projectiles, but just as she was regaining her full bearings, the blur zoomed past her, grabbing Negi as well and then speeding away at breathtaking speed.

"What the-?-!-? CHACHAMARU!"

"Master, I think I have been..." the robot warily looked at the cross-shaped object stuck into her arm, scanning it with her enhanced sight, until it suddenly exploded, sending her arm flying a few feet away. "Oh. Explosive magical energies just detected in the artifact. Minimal damage," She walked over to her arm and picked it up, reattaching it up. "Full recovery expected in Six Point Seven Minutes. Process starts now."

"YOU DON'T NEED THE ARM TO RUN OR FLY!" Eva growled, running around in search of her attacker. "A cross! Kasuga, no doubt! She must have made a Provisional Alliance with the idiot!"

"Tracking process starting in four, three, two, one seconds. Process starting now," Chachamaru droned. "The biosignatures detected in the area do indeed coincide with those of Kasuga Misora." Her jet feet flared up again. "This way," she guided her Mistress around.

Several streets away, Negi recovered enough of his senses to see himself at an alley with Misa, Chamo and a masked Misora in her Pactio outfit. "Kasuga-san...!" he breathed out. "You came, after all... I'm so happy..."

Misa looked at the other girl in disbelief. "Misora-chan? You were that thing that took me away in a blink?"

"Misora?" Misora looked aside nervously, badly altering her voice. "You must be mistaken, fair citizen! I'm not Kasuga Misora, although I hear she's awesome! You can call me THE MYSTERIOUS SISTER, brave defender of the weak and defenseless!"

"... No, you ARE Misora. No one but Misora could be that hammy," Misa said flatly.

"What?-?-!" Misora angrily turned on her. "You little witch, that's how you thank me over saving your life?-!"

"Oh, please, Kasuga, that's enough!" Chisame complained, walking into the alley wearing a silly but very pretty summer dress with a hat, a heart shaped wand in hand. "Sensei, are you all right?"

"Chisame? Is that really you?" Misa gasped. "Why are you dressed like that? What kind of sick fetishist party is everyone having? And why wasn't I invited?"

Chisame glared. "On the other hand, maybe we SHOULD have left you in Eva's hands."

"Oh, yes! The world's gone mad, so naturally I must pay for it for some reason, ain't that right?" Misa angrily barked back. She paused. "And do you know where I can get that in my size? Perhaps in rubber?"

* * *

><p>Misa watched on as another, smaller and darker skinned young girl in a nun's habit walked in as well, never making a single sound. The little girl looked up and down at her, then whispered, "Now, or later?" at Misora.<p>

"Now or later, what?" the cheerleader frowned.

"Having your memory erased. It's the standard procedure for anyone who learns about magic," Misora said.

"WHAT?-!" Misa yelled, waving her arms protectively over her head. "You're going to tie me down and violate me then take my memories of it away?-!"

"Keep your voice low, you idiot!" Chisame hushed her, kneeling down at Negi's side, checking his neck. "They said nothing of the sort! Kasuga, do something about this!"

"Let me see," the prankster sister knelt down next to her, looking at the bleeding, deep twin marks on her teacher's skin. "Ugh, ugly ones. Worse than mine. It's a miracle you haven't fainted yet, Negi-kun."

Hakase parked her small speedster vehicle at the alley's entrance then, hopping off it without making too much noise. As she walked closer, Misa couldn't help but notice the gigantic metal backpack with long steel limbs she was carrying around, dwarfing her under its bulk. "Good evening, Kakizaki-san," she casually greeted. "Ah, Sensei! It's comforting to verify you are indeed alive and healt-uh-alive. Kasuga-san, did you insert your explosive EXACTLY where I said? Not a single inch lower or higher?"

"Your stupid machine won't lose her arm for good, okay? Rest easy!" Misora mumbled as she crushed a holy wafer between her fingers, spreading it all over the bite marks. "I hope this works. I've never done it before..."

"I'll help," Cocone quietly said, sitting down at the other side of Negi and placing her hands over his neck, Misora doing the same as both of them prayed together in Latin, much to Misa's ever growing puzzlement.

"Uh, why are they-"

"The contamination from the vampire's saliva and its unidentified pathogen agents in contact with Sensei's blood might cause unfortunate secondary effects on his young physical frame," Satomi lectured. "Kasuga-san called it becoming a 'ghoul', since apparently, the full transformation into an actual vampire demands more-"

"Slower! Slower!" Misa demanded. "You mean Evangeline is a vampire for real? I've been sharing a classroom and a public bath with a Twilight refugee? I still was holding on to the hope she was just one of those Goths who like to drink red wine and pretend its blood and stuff like that, like that guy who once asked me on a-"

"Your exciting tales of flirting with half town will have to wait!" Chisame hushed her again. "Once Sensei's able to move, we'll have to escape as fast as we can, and Kasuga can't carry all of us with her. Neither can Hakase's mini-car. Eva must be looking for us as we speak."

"You could move faster without that stupid dress on," Misa suggested.

"Was that a come on?" Chamo chuckled. "As much as I'd like it, this isn't the time to get nau-"

Both Misa and Chisame slammed a foot down on him at the same time.

"I didn't choose to wear this thing!" Chisame managed to scream and whisper at the same time. "I got it from my Pactio with Sensei!"

"What's a Pactio?" Misa asked.

"Basically, it's a transfer of energies that, for lack of a better word, may be labeled as 'magical' through a direct-" Satomi started.

"In few words!" Misa interrupted.

"... You kiss him, you gain magical powers," Hakase said.

"I saw Paris, I saw France, I saw both their underpants…" Chamo sang in daze.

"Sweet," the cheerleader blinked a few times. "Where do I sign?"

"Really, I don't think it'd be such a good-" Satomi doubted.

"I think we're done here," Misora said as she and Cocone helped Negi to stand up. "The bite healing part, at least. He still seems to be under the effect of a weakening spell, and it'll take him a while more to snap out of it."

"Thanks..." He managed to rasp with a slightly stronger voice. "Just a minute more, please... I'm almost there..."

"M-Maybe doing the Pactio with Misa-Sis here won't be a bad idea, after all," Chamo nervously offered. "It won't take any vital energy out of the Bro, and we may need the backup to make a good escape..."

"You sure he isn't still too weak for that?" Chisame scoffed.

"She can do a Pactio with me, too," Cocone piped in passively. "I'm a mage myself, after all."

Misa gave her a perplexed look. "... Thanks, but no thanks. Who are you, by the way?"

"Her name's Cocone," Misora intervened. "But whatever we're going to do, let's do it quick! I just wanna be far away and under lock and key!"

Hakase looked at their teacher. "Sensei?"

He sighed. "I don't know..."

Chisame sighed. "You feel in shape for that?"

"If it helps us to solve this situation, then I can do it," he stood straighter, with a new resolve.

Chisame nodded. "Fine, then."

Chamo started looking in his fur. "GAH! My chalk! I forgot it at home! How could it happen? I never leave home without a chance to wrap my Bro in compromising situations with young women!"

The hacker growled, then reluctantly looked into her cleavage, pulling a long piece of chalk out and tossing it at Chamo. "I managed to find it near your drawer. I figured, if we'd have Kakizaki around, any help could be good against Eva..."

Chamo joyfully sniffed the chalk. "Ahhhhhh! The sweet scent of the valley of the gods!"

Hasegawa's cheeks grew red. "Just get to work, furry clown!"

"Ipso Facto!" Chamo cackled, quickly drawing the circle on the alley's ground. Misa watched in awe how the drawing glowed in the darkness, even as Cocone and Misora guided her into it, with Negi waiting there, standing stiffly.

"Um... I'm so sorry about this..." his face was flushed.

Misa smiled at him, caressing his hair with a hand. "Don't be."

Then she grabbed his face between her hands and quickly pulled his lips into hers.

* * *

><p>Misa's kiss was very different to those of the other girls.<p>

Negi had heard from her she once had a boyfriend, and while naive, he wasn't stupid; he knew well boyfriends and girlfriends often kissed in the mouth. He'd seen 'Back to the Future' with his cousin, after all. Misa's much more active approach in that area made him almost sure that was the result of her experience. He assumed that was the right way to kiss someone.

Negi had never imagined a kiss done right would involve sneaking your tongue into the other person's mouth. But Kakizaki-san surely knew a lot more on the matter than him. And her warm tongue exploring the insides of his mouth, massaging his gums and wrestling his own tongue down, felt oddly good, in a way the other girls hadn't been able to provide. Clumsily, he started to follow her example, tentatively pushing his tongue ahead to brush against hers. Misa's eyes widened as she felt his tongue pushing hers back, a small moan escaping from the corners of her mouth, her legs vaguely rubbing against each other. Then lack of air finally kicked it, and she had to pull her head back to breathe loudly.

Damn, right when it was getting good...

It was then when she realized two things. One, Chisame, Hakase and Misora were watching them with perplexed expressions and reddish cheeks, and Misora was even covering Cocone's eyes with her hands. Two, the ermine was now holding a card between his paws.

"Heee Heeee... I mean, here's your card, Bro," he handed it over to the boy, who quickly produced a duplicate for Misa. She received it without saying a word, looking at the image of herself portrayed on it. She was wearing an old fashioned, very long skirted navy blue school uniform, smiling while holding a set of glowing long needles between her fingers. Under her picture, there were a couple of lines in Latin.

_Cacizaci Misa_

_Res Severa Est Berum Gaudium_

"Okay, and what do I do with this?" she asked.

Negi opened his mouth to answer, but then he tensed and pulled a small wooden wand out of his right pocket, aiming it at the alley's entrance. "Everyone, beware!" he shouted. As if on cue, Evangeline and Chachamaru walked out of the shadows and into the narrow passage, cutting their way out.

"Heh, heh, heh," the undead mage chuckled. "Brilliant choice for a hiding place; you have just trapped yourselves like rats, Boya. What? Only four of your followers? I'd have liked to face at least ten of them, to have some kind of challenge. God knows I'd love to put Yukihiro in her proper place beneath my stockinged feet..."

"Huh, wouldn't have figured you liked Iinchou that way," Misa said.

"I'm here, too," Cocone flatly said, raising a hand up, but Evangeline chose to ignore her altogether.

Chisame stepped in between the new arrivals and Negi, quickly followed by Satomi. "Not a step more, okay?" the hacker said, all the while chastising herself inwardly for her own idiocy.

"Girls, don't-" Negi began.

"The Ministra's work is to protect the Magister, not the other way around," Misora cut him off. "For that purpose, they need to remain before you, acting as your shield! That's our duty as your Partners, Negi-kun!"

Misa pointed a finger at her. "Then why are you BEHIND him?"

The young sister nervously chuckled from her place. "Th-The back needs protection as well!"

Cocone just kicked her to the frontline.

"They are acting hostile towards me, Chachamaru," Eva grinned widely. "According to our agreement, I'm justified in defending myself, don't you think?"

"Well, in truth, I'm not too su-" Chachamaru began.

"Thanks for your support. I knew you wouldn't disappoint me," the blonde nodded, fast. She opened her arms, bats flying and shrieking all around her. "Come forth, childish pawns! Face the wrath of the Queen of the Night, bringer of the Dark Forbidden Knowledge, taker of sweet life's fluid!"

"Mother-!" Misora whimpered.

"Seriously not helping change my mind about your innuendoes, Evangeline-san!" Misa cried.

"KAKIZAKI!" Chisame called out. "You're supposed to be in this, too! Activate the damn Pactio already!"

"How? How? How?" Misa trembled in fear. "Does it work like a Yu-Gi-Oh card? Do I toss it around? Put it in something? Do I need to hit it with a wand and with the power of the Card Mistress? What do I do?"

"Just hold it up and yell 'Adeat'!" Negi said.

"Adeat?" Misa asked. "What in the world is 'Adeat'?"

And then, it happened.

The world seemed to flash all around Misa, and then she felt suddenly chilly. She noticed that would be because all the clothes had just been ripped off her body by an invisible force, but before her shriek of embarrassment (an emotion she had all but forgotten about) could finish, she found herself wearing an exact copy of the uniform she was wearing in the Pactio card.

Complete with what seemed to be long sharp needles made of solidified light between her fingers. "What in the—"

"If you ever get used to it, give me tips," Chisame grunted, standing her ground before shouting, "Pico! Boku! Coco! At my left! Negi, Chiu, Paco, at my right! Nene, above me!"

Her seven electronic mice materialized around her, obeying quickly, surrounding her with the smallest one hovering above her head.

"How cute. Do you intend to repel me with an overdose of pink? Chachamaru!" Eva barked.

"Deploy Barrier! Protecting Mother is our Top Priority!" Nene shouted, as the mice all deployed a barrier made of electric discharges between themselves, just in time to shock Chachamaru and sending her rolling on her feet a few steps back before she could reach Chisame.

"Master, I seem to have been infected by a malicious program generated by that discharge," the robot quietly warned. "I can feel a hacking dummy program attempting to reach into my awareness. Initiating debugging measures."

Chisame gulped, tightening her grip on her scepter. "Guys...?"

"We have a link to her now, but it's tenuous," Boku reported. "The target has started a debugging program. Too fast to keep up with it!"

"Naturally. I make nothing but the best—" Satomi began to nod.

"STOP PATTING YOURSELF IN THE BACK AND HELP ME HERE! THE REST OF YOU, TOO!" Chisame roared.

"... They called you 'Mother'?" Misa still was blinking.

"You named one of them after me?" Cocone asked.

"Satomi-san, you're the brawler! Clear a way out, please!" Negi asked, lifting Hakase's card up. "Sis Mea Pars Per Nonaginta Secundas! Ministra Negii Hakase Satomi!"

"Eh? Huh? What? Me?" Hakase babbled, then feeling a new and abrupt outburst of power flowing through her, making her to feel even more powerful than after activating the Pactio. "Simply fascinating...!"

_**"LIC LAC LA!"**_ Eva yelled in turn, charging Chachamaru up with magic, making her to finish snapping out of the mice's influence. With renewed energy, the gynoid rushed ahead again, racing past and through the sprites' shield, forcing Chisame to jump aside at the last moment. Before she could reach Negi, however, she found a large metal arm blocking her path, catching her right arm in a grip hold.

The robot stared at Satomi as if it was the first time she ever saw her. "Hakase-san...?"

Satomi clenched her teeth, sweating under her creation's perplexed glare. Perplexed? Had Chachamaru actually found her physical defense of Negi surprising after everything that had happened?

Well, Chachamaru DID know her well, after all. She couldn't blame her for being shocked.

She barely could believe it herself.

* * *

><p>"Why, Hakase-san?" Chachamaru finally asked, softly, but with a slightly pressing, urgent, tingle in her even voice. "Why do you do this? You must know, even with your added abilities, you cannot compare to the stats you gifted me with." She pressed her arm down, making Satomi to back away a bit, causing her to clench her teeth even as she stubbornly remained still. "You never were one for futile attempts or doomed efforts. You always have believed on following the most logical course of action, so why this sudden change in your behavioral patterns?"<p>

"Since... when do you ask the questions?" Hakase struggled to push her back, inch by inch. "I'm the one in charge of your evaluations, not the other way around!"

"I apologize," Chachamaru humbly said.

"She can't do it alone!" Misa gasped. "Negi-kun, can't you do something?"

"Most attack spells are dangerous in such a tight space," Negi kept his voice low while carefully observing the quiet, aloofly watching Evangeline. "If either of us starts using them here, we might hurt all of you. Your Artifact is still untested, so it could be dangerous as well. Chisame-san, isn't there anything else you can do now?"

Chisame held her scepter up, trying to run a scan of the area with it. "With this blackout, there isn't any active electric appliances around, other than Hakase's Artifact and Chachamaru herself. Nothing I can hack onto and manipulate."

"I see," he nodded. "Misora-san?"

"Not a lot of space to run around in this alley, Negi-kun," the Mysterious Sister gulped. "I might try the 'spin fast to create a hurricane' trick, but that'd hurt the Prof, too."

Cocone twirled a few tiny crosses between her fingers. "If she steps aside for only a moment, I could try this..."

"Hakase-san," the robot finally spoke again in the middle of their standstill. "Please forgive me."

"For what?" the girl with braids asked.

"This," the gynoid sighed before her free hand shot its fist out... literally, like a trick Jack-in-the-Box jumping out of its package... and against Hakase's chin, knocking her back and stunning her. As she did, however, the scientist jerked a huge arm up and mashed it against Chachamaru's face, pushing her back in turn.

"Now or never!" Chisame grabbed Negi by a hand and ran ahead with him, past a momentarily confused Chachamaru. "COCONE-SAN, NOW!"

"Yes," the tiny sister tossed her crosses up in a perfect, accurate arc over the heads of the robot and her creator, aiming straight as Eva. Acting on reflex, the vampire raised a shield around herself to block the exploding charms' impact, keeping her busy long enough for Chisame and Negi to race past her. In a blink of an eye, Cocone jumped on Misora's back, clutching on like a koala, while the older girl sped by, grabbing Misa and the groggy Satomi and zooming past as well, almost immediately catching up to her friends.

"You had this planned?" Misa asked as she held back her urge to barf. She felt like a rag doll being dragged away by a typhoon.

"We've lived fearing this for weeks! Of course we planned what to do in a case like this!" Chisame grunted. "Well, not including the little girl, but…"

"The speedster..." Hakase blinked sleepily. "We might..."

"No time to grab it and turn it on!" Chisame yelled, struggling to keep up with Misora's pace despite the fact the runner had slowed down a lot to not leave them in the dust. "Sensei, your staff?"

"Eva-san tossed it into the river!" Negi explained. "I could call it back, but I'd need time to concentrate on it!"

Evangeline had turned her shield back down and was preparing another spell. "Running away so soon, cowards? _**Sagitta Magica, Series Glacialis!"**_

Several arrow-shaped chunks of ice materialized in midair around her, then zoomed up in pursuit of Negi.

"Wow!" the boy waved his wand around. _"S-Sagitta Magica, Series Fulguralis!" _An identical group of arrow projectiles, but made of electrical energy, appeared on Negi's command, blocking the frozen ones and destroying them.

"Crap, Kakizaki, you do something, too!" Misora complained. "Either you pay your fare or you get off my bus!"

"What am I supposed to do?" Misa replied. "The only things I have are these goofy-ass glowing needles!"

"Well, knit Eva a sweater, then!" Hasegawa growled. "TOSS 'EM AT HER, YOU BIMBO!"

"HEY! WHO ARE YOU CALLING A BIMBO!-? I GET BETTER GRADES THAN NUN-FETISHIST HERE! BESIDES, WHAT IF I KILL EVANGELINE?"

Then she saw Eva flying after them, closely followed by Chachamaru, and gasped aloud. "On the other hand, I don't think she'll die that easily!"

"Aim for the shoulders!" Negi instructed.

"I'll try..." Kakizaki swallowed before trying to aim, then tossing the needles at Evangeline. With a dry laugh, the tiny blonde projected another barrier before her while flying, but for some reason, the needles just filtered themselves through the magical forcefield, three of them hitting their target into a shocked Eva's right shoulder.

"Master!" Chachamaru closed on her. "Are you okay?"

"What?-!" the vampiress blinked, biting her lower lip in pain. "Impossible! Nothing can get past that defense! How? How did her piercing needles enter my flesh?"

"She just doesn't stop with the innuendoes, does she?" Misa marveled.

"We can see..." Hakase shook her head to clear it out, "... through the barrier, so that means light can pass through it... Mommy, not this early... Just a bit more of sleep, please..." she still babbled. "Negi-kun, touch me there…uh, not in front of my mom, Sakurako-san…"

As the furious chase continued, a lonely figure left behind at the alley sobbed to itself.

"They all just forgot about me..." Chamo lamented.

* * *

><p>"Where to now? Where to now?-!" Misora demanded to know, as they basically ran along the deserted campus streets, without her having the slightest idea of exactly where was Negi leading them to.<p>

"We should get back home! Then we barricade ourselves in... wait for dawn..." Chisame's teeth clattered.

"But that always gets people killed in horror movies!" Misa warned.

"They'd catch us before we get there. To the bridge! It's closer, and its other end is out of Eva-san's reach,"Negi asked. "Plus, I can call on my staff from there..."

"I suppose we always can jump out and drown too, in the worst case scenario..." Hasegawa sighed.

Misa gave her a funny look. "You know, it's only just occurred to me, but… Hasegawa, are you and Itoshiki-sensei related?"

"HELL NO!"

Trailing behind them, the cause of their woes shivered after pulling the needles out of her flesh, never stopping her flight.

Chachamaru looked at her with concern. "Master, do you still desire to continue this? You should get that healed... We always can try again next full moon..."

The blonde shook her head stubbornly. "No... Hee... No, no! Hee. Hee hee! I'm, I'm going to end this tonight. No more waiting. No more compromises. Hee hee!"

The robot noticed the cause of her shaky laughter while scanning her with her even gaze. "Master, I believe Kakizaki-san's Artifact has contaminated you with some kind of radiation..."

"Something... hee hee... serious?"

"Positive energy."

"Crap. Heh heh. Always hah-hated light magic."

The Negi Party was reaching the bridge again when their way was blocked by a huge wall of thick ice rising from the ground before them. "I knew it was a bad idea, coming back here!" Misa panicked.

"I'm sorry I brought you here, Cocone-chan!" Misora cried, hugging her friend tearfully. "Before we die... I have something I must tell you! I... I was the one who ate your cake last week!"

"... I know. We live alone, after all," the little girl deadpanned. "I'm the one who's been reading your dirty magazines, by the way."

"What?-! That was you? How could I not realize?"

"Beats me. We live alone, remember."

"Running out of... heh heh... ideas, Boya?" Evangeline landed behind them, with Chachamaru following suit gracefully. "Hee hee... Hah... Ha ha! Trapped between a rock and a hard place! See, it's funny... because there's no rock... Heh heh... but... Oh, funk. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU CRETINS DO TO ME!" she exploded.

Chisame looked at Misa. "What in the world did you have in those needles?"

"Your guess is as good as mine," the cheerleader sighed. "At least she's not making innuendoes anymore…"

"Well, the sentence in your card can be translated as 'True Joy is a Serious Thing'," Negi lectured. "Maybe your Artifact is not only related to light as an element, but also—"

"Is light technically an element at all?" Chisame doubted. "What's your opinion, Hakase?"

Eva stomped a foot down, managing to wrestle her giggling fits down. "ENOUGH OF THIS FOOLISHNESS! I'VE HAD ENOUGH WITH YOU! I'm going to—"

Then a few thick black tendrils of concentrated dark matter jumped up from the ground, latching onto her and Chachamaru, tightly squeezing their arms and bodies. "Hey! Wait a moment... This inferior construction... this substandard craftsmanship…This low quality feeling of dread and misery emanating from it... Oh, not you again, Despair."

"Indeed, me!" a theatrical male voice yelled loudly from above. Negi and the girls looked up to see Itoshiki Nozomu standing at a thick branch of a nearby sakura, extending a hand ahead, thin swirls of the same black matter rotating between his fingers. "I'm amazed I actually arrived in time to help you, Negi-sensei! My one chance to be successful this lifetime, and I waste it on a timely rescue and not a suicide attempt! I hate my life!"

"Despair-sensei?" Chisame blinked a few times.

"Sensei, you're okay!" Negi breathed in relief.

"I'm never 'okay',"the man sighed languidly."But if you mean I'm not dead yet, yes, sadly, that is absolutely true."

"Ah, yes,"Misa casually pointed at him. "That guy's a mage too."

"I'm your teacher, too!" Nozomu screamed. "Show me some respect! Don't call me 'that guy'!"

Then the branch he was standing on snapped. With a short yelp, the man fell down face-first, twisting his neck upon hitting the ground. There was a sickening snap of broken bones, and all color left the faces of Negi and his allies, even Cocone's. Only Eva and Chachamaru remained stonefaced, but silence still reigned for a few awkward moments, until Itoshiki sprang back to his feet as if nothing had happened.

"... Sorry about that," he blushed, looking aside. "As Negi-sensei should remember, I'm effectively impossible to kill, much to my unending grief. We met when I was attempting to hang myself for the umpteenth time..."

Chisame was pulling her hair out of its roots, or at least making a spirited attempt. "You'll love Mahora, Mom said! Mahora is the best school Japanese money can pay, she said! Why, Father? Why did you lie so badly?-! Why didn't you send me to Ohtori Academy like Utena-san next door suggested? Ohtori couldn't possibly be as messed up as this place!"

* * *

><p>"Anyway..." Itoshiki sighed, giving a few tired steps towards Evangeline, "The Dean will definitely hear about this, Evangeline-san. I'll personally vote for strict measures to be taken against you over this. You have gone too far this time! This means loss of Satellite TV privileges!"<p>

The small blonde chuckled. "Upset over your pea-brained students, or about the boy, Despair?"

"About the rules. Personal sympathies mean nothing to me," he declared. "Such emotional links are nothing but mirages, pale delusions that ultimately amount to nothing. The only constant is despair, death and taxes! And I don't even get death!"

She smirked with an evil glint in her eyes. "Finally something we can agree on."

Next to her, Chachamaru stiffened. "Master, the program of Magi-Dissolution is ready, downloading. Completion expected in seven point nine seconds. My apologies, Negi-sensei."

"What?" the boy asked.

"What do you mean, patchwork aberration-san?" Nozomu scowled.

"Hey!" Hakase protested. "Chachamaru is a piece of state of the art, cutting edge, master piece of perfect genius! How dare you call her 'patchwork'!"

"Hakase, SO NOT THE TIME!" Chisame said.

Several small metallic protuberances sprouted from Chachamaru's long 'ears', producing small discharges that ran through her and all over the living darkness summoned by Itoshiki, quickly shocking it enough to dissolve it into a slimy puddle drooping down at her and Eva's feet.

"Ahhhhh, Program 2, 698..." Hakase sheepishly scratched her chin. "I'd forgotten about that...!"

"I'll have your scientific license revoked!" the older teacher threatened her.

"Hopeless fools!" Evangeline laughed. "Did you think I wouldn't come prepared for such a basic trap? You disappoint me! Your weak, flaccid magic is no match for my maturity and experience!"

"Damn, you it was too good to last," Misa grumbled.

"If I disappoint you, it's your own fault for putting your hopes on me!" Itoshiki countered.

"It won't happen again, believe me," the immortal bloodsucker promised before waving a hand around and sending him flying several feet back amidst a storm of ice fragments.

"Itoshiki-sensei!" Negi exclaimed.

"This isn't his fight, but yours," Eva gave a step ahead. "Your stubborn endurance almost impresses me, Boya, but you'll have to prove you're more than that. Forget I'm your student and give me your best!" she challenged. "I want you to push yourself to your limits, Negi Springfield!"

"I... I'll do it!" he firmly promised.

Chisame stood at his side. "We'll do it."

The petite vampire shrugged. "As you wish. Your numbers will make no difference. Chachamaru, handle the others! This is the final act of this overdrawn melodrama!"

"Wait, I can't fight anymore!" Misa protested. "I have no more needles left!"

"Just wish for more," Negi calmly told her.

"Just wish for more? Yeah, like that will—" Misa stopped herself when she saw more needles had appeared between her fingers just by thinking about it. "Huh. Magic is so weird."

"I know her weak points," Hakase reluctantly whispered while stepping next to her. "Just aim at exactly any points I tell you. Understood?"

"Y-Yeah, sure," the cheerleader agreed.

"Ganging up on a classmate?" Misora chuckled shakily. "Nah, I don't think that's fair! So why don't we leave it for another—"

Before she could react, Chachamaru's rocket punch shot itself again and socked her across the face, sending her down.

"... Sorry, Kasuga-san," the gynoid softly said.

"Superspeed isn't worth anything if you do nothing with it but goofing off," Cocone summed up, looking down at her fallen friend.

"... I think I'll stay unconscious for a few minutes, if you don't mind," Misora weakly gurgled.

"I always wanted to do that," Chisame said unrepentantly.

"Hakase-san," Chachamaru said, still in place. "I have no desire to fight you."

"Neither do I," her creator replied.

"Then, just stay there until Master has finished, please," the robot lowered her head. "That's the only request I have for you. I'll understand if you wish to terminate our relationship afterwards, but please, just allow the Master to be happy."

"What about Negi-kun's right to be happy?" Misa countered. "Isn't that worth anything to you?"

"It's worth a lot," Chachamaru didn't hesitate. "However, Master Evangeline has suffered for fifteen torturous years of unwarranted captivity. I wouldn't be helping her if I didn't believe she truly deserves her freedom."

"Yeah, well, you're dead wrong!" Kakizaki snapped. "How can you think that witch is more deserving happiness than Negi-kun? And what captivity are you talking about?"

"To her, Mahora is like a jail," the robot explained. "She once roamed the whole world; now she is confined to this small space. Not only is she trapped in a body unfitting her actual age, but she's also a prisoner beyond the time her jailer promised her to suffer through. She has been cheated by life ever since she can remember."

"That's no excuse for taking it out on Negi-sensei," Hakase pointed out.

"I'm sorry Sensei has to suffer," the gynoid lamented. "It embarrasses me to take a part on his pain, but given the only other option is to allow Master's continued suffering, I have no alternative."

Satomi pouted. "Interesting. I never expected you'd be able to take your own serious, transcendental decisions so early in your vital process. I'm very interested in such a prodigious development. However, I also have taken my own life altering decision lately..." she assumed a clumsy fighting stance she once had seen Chao pulling, "And I chose to help Negi-sensei no matter what!"

Misa looked at her with wide eyes. "Prof!"

"What?" Satomi said.

"You like Negi-kun, too!"

The scientist's cheeks flared bright red. "What? What? Don't misinterpret my statements, Kakizaki-san! My interest on his wellbeing is a purely friendly one! And I have had no disturbingly vivid dreams involving him and whipped cream, ever!"

"Sure..." Misa said.

Chachamaru smiled shyly. "I'm glad to see... You might finally have found what you were lacking, Hakase-san." Her gaze hardened back. "However, my own resolve still stands, as well."

She dashed ahead preparing a punch, one Hakase barely could stop in time with one of her giant arms. Again, they stood in a standstill, pushing back against each other.

"Hakase-san..." Karakuri almost begged, "Please, don't force me to do this..."

"No one can force you... to do anything you don't want, Chachamaru. Remember?" Her creator gritted her teeth in visible effort.

"I used to think so. However, I've learned otherwise. The human world is complex. Many forces compel us to do things we'd prefer not to."

"Prof, Prof!" Misa ran around them looking for a good place to strike at. "Where do I nail her? I mean, where do I poke her? No, that sounded wrong, too... damn, Eva's innuendo is rubbing off on me..."

Hakase sweated under Chachamaru's soft, yet also steel hardened gaze, cold sweat running down her face. She didn't want her to be hurt. She was her treasure. Her most valued creation. Her crowning achievement. She couldn't say the words.

Her daughter.

"Prof!" Misa almost wailed.

"I'd do anything to protect my most dear person, Hakase-san," Chachamaru whispered. "Would you?"

Misa blinked, then gasped. "Of course! Why didn't I see it! Chachamaru and Evangeline are in a romantic relationship!"

"I don't think they're listening," Cocone said as she knelt by Misora's head.

Hakase thought of Negi-sensei. With a deep breath, she pushed Chachamaru back and down with all of her strength, pinning her down against the ground. "The optical sensors!" she screamed while trying to keep her still as best as she could.

"What?" Misa asked.

"THE EYES!" Satomi yelled.

Chachamaru tried to head-butt the girl over her to push her off herself, but she found a small paper charm with Latin written all over it suddenly slapped against her forehead, keeping her head down. Cocone had just approached, more paper wards between her fingers. "Now," the small girl instructed.

Misa nodded with panic, drew in as much air as she could, and then swung several needles down into Chachamaru's eyesockets.

* * *

><p>Evangeline floated a few feet over the ground, hovering above Negi with an indolent expression. "I might just fly beyond your reach and finish you from there, Boya, but I promised you a fight, and that's what I'll give you. Although I doubt you can keep my pace anyway."<p>

He frowned, slowly moving his wand in circles, walking around so his body shielded Chisame's as best as it could. "Don't treat me like that, please. I'm not going to lose, but I don't want it to be because of your pity."

"Then," Eva smirked, "You won't have any of it. _**LIC LALA LAC! UNDETRIGINTA SPIRITUS OBSCURI!"**_

Twenty nine ghostly shapes made of icy darkness sprouted from her fingers, swirling around before flying ahead towards Negi. Muttering a curse about her own idiocy, Chisame aimed at them with her scepter and blasted a few, straining herself to feel the power coming out of her. "Sensei, I'll give you cover fire, but you'll have to do most of it! I'm not used to this yet..." She lowered her voice a lot, "...Sorry..."

He nodded as he shouted, _"Rastel Mascir Magister... Undetriginta Spiritus Lucis!"_ Instantly, he produced twenty nine similar luminous figures which took care of the remaining darkness constructs, but were easily dispelled by Evangeline flying higher and casting a rainstorm of dark arrows on them.

_**"SAGITTA MAGICA, SERIES OBSCURI!"**_

_"SAGITTA MAGICA, SERIES LUCIS!"_ Negi countered with his own similar light spell.

"This is insane!" Chisame exclaimed, dashing after Negi just keep up with his pace. "At this rate, you'll destroy the damn bridge soon! We'll be sued out of all we have!"

"Don't steal my students' catchphrases!" Itoshiki had pulled himself back into the fray... more or less, limping after Hasegawa while cradling a wounded arm. "Forget that! Negi-sensei may look like he's keeping pace with Evangeline-san, but if you look at it, she's controlling the whole fight, forcing him to react without ever striking first. It's hopeless!"

"What?" the girl gawked, looking back at the situation.

It was true; from above, the undead witch clearly called the shots, dodging everything Negi tossed up at her much easier than he managed to avoid her spells. Negi moved slower and more stiffly, as well; the wound on his leg still hadn't fully healed. By now, Chisame already had seen her own blasts were far more limited in range than Negi's spellwork, but surely, even so, there had to be something she could do.

"No. It can't be hopeless," she told herself. "If only we could know how Eva regained her powers without a full moon... Huh? That's it! Guys, check into Chachamaru's mind again! Learn what Eva did to repower herself and how can we stop it!"

"On it, Mother!" Nene chirped, its eyes glowing.

"The target seems to have dropped her defenses!" Coco confirmed.

"Accessing her memory banks!" Boku said. "Searching for the requested information! Likely data found!"

"The subject Mc Dowell is being empowered by a mass glitch on her power limit seals caused by the current blackout!" Pico informed.

"Most likely, a return of the electrical power would reduce her magic power access back to zero!" Paco concluded.

"Do you mean we gotta wait for the blackout to end? But she'll kill Sensei before that!" Chisame said.

"Unless,"Nozomu cautioned, "you could find an alternate power source for Mahora before that."

"Don't be ridiculous!" she told him. "Where could we find something that stored that much—" Then it dawned on her. "Naturally!"

She started to run away from the scene. "Hasegawa-san!" Itoshiki screamed. "Where are you going?-!"

"I need to help Sensei my own way!" she claimed. "You just hold the fort for me in the meanwhile!"

She hurried ahead, heading straight back to Chachamaru and the others. Their only hope, she was sure of it, was for her crazy plan to actually work.

* * *

><p>"We've killed her," Misa babbled while looking down at the inert body with needles poking out of its eyes. "Oh my God, we've killed her! We killed Kenny– er, Chachamaru! I didn't mean to! Wait, you can fix her, can't you? Can't you?"<p>

Kneeling down next to Chachamaru's motionless frame, Hakase's blank face was obscured by several strands of loosened hair falling over it, brushing past down her huge forehead. She said nothing.

"You can't!" Kakizaki whined. "Oh crap, so I killed her after all!"

"This is only a temporary shutdown," Satomi finally explained, in a flat and mechanic tone. "You can't even call it a reset. You've only paralyzed her nervous system. I'd never have allowed a killing blow."

Misa breathed easier. "What a relief!"

Cocone bopped a small fist on her hips. "You're as bad as Misora."

Misa smiled, patting her head. "Thanks for the assist, kid. Hey, I think I've seen you while singing at the choir..." Then she noticed something else. "Prof, are you crying?"

Silently, Satomi rubbed her eyes with the back of a hand. "Just an inadequate emotional response, no doubt moved by the heat of the moment. I'll be fine."

Misa hesitated, eventually moving ahead to place a hand on her right shoulder, her voice shaking a bit. "Look, I know we've never been close buddies or anything, but—"

"Hakase! Hakase!" Chisame came back running, stopping abruptly. "Wait, you killed Chachamaru? And Kasuga's dead, too?"

"NO ONE HAS KILLED ANYONE!" Misa shouted. "And why are you here?-! You should be helping Sensei with THAT!" she pointed at the flying Eva, laughing madly between spells.

Chisame glared at her. "Shouldn't you be too, now you've beaten her?"

"I was about to go there! I just had to catch my breath after almost killing a classmate!"

"Yeah. Whatever,"Chisame shook the horrible newfound concept of having conversations about killing classmates out of her head. "Hakase, can you somehow hook Chachamaru's body up to the Mahora electric system?"

"Why for?" Satomi distrusted instinctively.

"I've learned we can strip Eva of her powers if we end the blackout at once. But to do that, we need a large source of power, and your robot's the only one that could be large enough for it. Didn't you once tell me she worked with like two craptons or something?"

"Enough energy to power a small city up for a whole hour, yes," Hakase nodded. "We're working on ways to reduce her charge needs, but we've done huge advances since her first nuclear energy prototype..."

"Save us the classes!" her roommate said. "Can you actually do it without killing her?"

"Yes, I think I can. Her battery reserves should act as a backup to prevent a complete shutdown. But..." her voice trailed.

"But?" all three other conscious girls chorused.

"I'm... not... inactive yet…" Chachamaru's cracked voice came from below.

The girls froze in shock right before the robot's weakened but still very, very solid right fist projected itself up, hitting Chisame in the mouth and sending her stumbling a few steps back with bleeding gums. Misa and Cocone backed away quickly, as Satomi just stared in a fascinated stupor. "How could you... This is beyond your programmed performance parameters..."

"Protect Master. Help Master. Aid Master," the robot repeated, jerking up to her shaky feet, ripping the needles off her eyes. "Can't fail Master. Won't fail Master. All obstacles to Master's plan must be..."

She stopped, with her voice absently spazzing out before finishing,

"—neutralized."

* * *

><p>Itoshiki Nozomu had never been a fighter. Too physically weak (other than his inhuman damage soak) to begin with, too negative to put a continued effort on training, too unwilling to cause harm upon others. While gifted with the talent of his clan and very well read on magic, he always lacked the motivation to practice extensively. For a while, he had studied hard on support battle spells to become a member of the famed Ala Rubra, but after being turned down he developed a flat out despise for them. Now, as he was doing little more than dodging Evangeline's collateral damage and running wildly around Negi shouting advice play by play, he was starting to (amongst many, many other things) truly regret not continuing that venue of study.<p>

"That's it," he panted. "First chance I get, I'm buying a gun. And NOT just to use on myself!"

"Ha ha ha ha!" the small blonde laughed from above. "How funny! Even working together, you barely can keep up with me!"

Negi panted, his face flushed with the effort. Evangeline-san, was, after all, extraordinarily strong. And yet, his father had defeated her so easily... Was he that far from him? Could he ever hope to reach his level?

"Negi-sensei, don't daydream!" Itoshiki scolded him. "I think she's preparing a final strike!"

No. He wouldn't give up. Even as he saw Eva lifting her hands up to summon her biggest spell of the night yet, he lifted his wand up and planted his feet firmly down.

_"Rastel Maskir Magister! Veniant Spiritus Aeriales Fulgurantes!"_ he shot a barrage of lightning bolt discharges up at her.

_**"Lic Lac La Lilac!"**_ she countered. _**"Veniant Spiritus Glaciales Obscurantes!"**_ Creating her own constructs of dark ice, she easily stopped all of Negi's projectiles.

The boy gasped aloud, seeing what he believed his trump card being so quickly denied.

Evangeline actually giggled gleefully, her cheek gaining a brief pinkish hue.

_"Cum Fulgurationi Flet Tempestas Austrina!"_ Never giving up, Negi invoked a stream of wind and lightning at her.

_**"Cum Obscurationi Flet Tempestas Nivalis!"**_ the witch blasted the incoming spell with a large black swirling snowy hole that swallowed it whole. "Is that your best, Boya? I demand more! I need more! Otherwise I won't be satisfied! _**NIVIS TEMPESTAS OBSCURANS!"**_

Negi bravely stood in the middle of the furious snowstorm hammering on him. _"JOVIS TEMPESTAS FULGURIENS!"_ He actually managed to zap her around with his next few large bolts, although apparently with little results.

Itoshiki gave it up and just sat down to write on a small notebook as the whole bridge shook beneath them. "I see I'm utterly useless here. Better start taking ideas on how to improve our local security. How isn't everyone here already, I don't know. Perhaps I should suggest all teacher carry emergency flare guns during blackouts..."

As both of the other mages continued struggling against each other, Negi began to falter again. His thin legs quaked, and his chest rose up and down raggedly. With a ferocious chuckle, Eva redoubled her pressure, sending more snow and ice falling upon him.

Negi felt his face numbing, his lungs being filled by chilly air. It all had been in vain. He and the girls were lost...

The girls...

No! Not yet!

With a final stubborn yell of "I won't run anymore!" he went for broke and poured a much of his power as he could through the wand. Then he felt the icy air tickling his nose madly, so fast and hard he just had to sneeze.

_**"AT-CHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"**_

"What the—?-!-?" Evangeline shouted as she saw a sudden combined gigantic blast of magical raw energy ascending at breakneck speed to engulf her...

Then a huge single light filled all of the nocturnal sky.

When Negi came back to his senses seconds after, he found himself supported onto Nozomu's arms. "E-Eva-san...?" he gurgled. "Is she... Is she...?"

"No way to know yet,"Itoshiki looked up at the giant clouds now covering the sky. "The dramatic and illogical smoke hasn't dissipated yet. It might... You might have..." Then his jaw fell down. And so did Negi's, as his gaze followed that of the adult. "Oh my God!"

As the smoke cleared out, Evangeline still floated over them, singed and bruised, but overall looking not too hurt. However, her clothes... all of them... had not been as lucky to survive the experience.

"I haven't seen anything!" Itoshiki lied, blushing deeply as he looked aside.

"E-E-E-Eva-san!" Negi babbled. "So, um, I, sorry, um, I, didn't mean to, err, forgive me, can I, I mean, I won, right?"

The fully naked Loli vampire made a clenched, horribly forced grin. "Congratulations, Boya. You truly are your father's son..."

"Ummm, thanks, really..."

She abruptly zoomed down for him shrieking madly, "BUT I STILL FIGHT ON!"

"EEEEEKKKK!"

* * *

><p>The girls barely noticed the flashes and the smoke on the sky, all above their heads. What would have been the most eye-catching event of their lives in any other night was now eclipsed by the sight of the twitching, stiffly shaking robot girl rising before them.<p>

"Hakase!" Chisame shouted after wiping the blood off her mouth. "What's wrong with her now? Enemy or not, she never looked this psycho!"

"I think she has suffered minor damage to her information processing core after being hit through her optic sensors and reaching into her nervous synapses," the genius theorized.

"Translation?" Misa asked.

"She only can think at the basest levels of her pre-set urges," Satomi said. "Basically, she can't see any morals beyond those of her most primal desires."

"Shit," Misa cursed.

Hakase nodded. "Pretty much my thoughts, yes..."

"Is she going to try and fuck Negi?" Misa asked.

They all looked at her.

"What? In this class, it's a natural question."

"Master. Kittens. Plan. Enemy. Stop," Chachamaru summed up while rushing ahead, arms outstretched to strike. Only the fact her agility had been hampered by the nerve damage she had sustained kept her from blitzing the humans, allowing them to scatter around before they could be hit.

"Chachamaru, get a hold of yourself!" Hakase grabbed her by an arm, firmly holding her down in an attempt to subdue her. "You never were one for excessive brutality! I'm sure your most basic directives must be of the non-violent variety!"

Using her still free hand, the robot tried to punch her in the head, only to be stopped at the last moment by several of Misa's needles piercing through her fist.

"Listen to her, dammit!" the cheerleader yelled. "Are you so far gone you'd even kill your own creator?"

"Kill? No kill. Asimov's Rules still in databanks. Zero Law excluded. Only stop," her voice briefly cracked. "Stop. No stop Master. You. Kittens."

Chisame held her scepter up, willing for her mice to orbit around Chachamaru's head. "Can you guys help her regain her senses?"

"We certainly can try for you, Mother," Pico replied. "Starting preliminary rapport with target's neural systems. Access granted, all defenses shut down. Downloading info now."

Chachamaru shook her head back. "Ah. No. No. Get. Out," she weakly pleaded. "Kittens."

"Chachamaru, we're trying to help you!" Satomi argued. "Relax and let Chisame fix your mind up, please!"

"Hakase-san, I—" the robot's voice tensed, sounding a bit more focused now. "Please. Don't ask me to. Step Down. I need to. Help Master. With this." She shook again, to continue, now talking faster, "Don't ask me to betray her again. I... I must fight for her to my last. Please understand. I can't let her down. I must help her achieve her happiness."

"Yup, she definitely has a thing for Eva," Misa said, nodding sagely.

Chachamaru attempted to struggle free, but Hakase simply exerted more pressure, clenching her teeth in visible effort. "A happiness built on someone else' misfortune... is one not worth achieving!"

"I have told you, I truly regret Negi-sensei's status as an innocent victim. But there's no other way..." Chachamaru's voice softened.

"Don't say that! Trust me!" Hakase screamed loudly. "I gave you life! I can do anything! I can free Evangeline for you, one way or another, but please, leave Sensei alone!"

The gynoid's eyes made an erratic shock blink. "Hakase-san?"

"If Sensei suffers, I'll suffer too! And Chisame, as well! And Kasuga and Kakizaki, and everyone else!" the scientist vehemently protested, tightening her eyes shut. "So it's not only Sensei's personal pain, because all our hearts are with him! Including yours, Chachamaru!" Her eyes began to water, tears escaping from between her firmly closed eyelids. "I'm right, isn't that true? Forgive me, Chachamaru! I was so stupid, so blinded by my jealousy of Evangeline taking you away from me, I failed to realize how much of a wonderful thing your feelings were! I only wanted a machine, but I got so much more... and I didn't want it! Forgive me, please... but also... don't let me lose Sensei like... I lost you..."

She collapsed, exhausted by the effort, against Chachamaru's chest, burying her face into her chest and crying into it.

"H-Hakase-san..." the robot doubted, pausing for several moments before simply smiling and running a hand through her ebony hair."It's okay... I should apologize too..."

Slowly, she turned her gaze towards the other, stunned girls. "Hasegawa-san?"

"Y-Yes?" Chisame stammered.

"I overheard your explanation on how could I help Negi-sensei survive this experience," the machine explained. "I believe I have a workable idea on how to do it."

"Really?" the hacker gulped. "You sure you'll want to help us with that?"

"As a favor to her," Chachamaru nodded, still caressing a sobbing Hakase's head. "I owe her everything, after all."

"Okay..." the brown haired girl agreed."What should I—"

Chachamaru softly put her creator aside, walked to one of the bridge's massive suspending lines, ramming a fist straight into the thick cables that usually kept the bridge lit up at night. She gripped the cables hard, then told Chisame, "Focus your magic up, trying to feel the whole Mahora area in your mind. The Master and Chao-san say that's the key to performing large scale magic. Feel every power line, think of every electric artifact and instrument. Then blast me up with your scepter, without any hesitations. A single blast, as large as you can make it."

"But what if that does—!" Hasegawa started.

"I should be fine. Only a momentary shutdown of my functions. I'll hold on," she promised. "Quickly. The Master is about to finish Sensei off."

Chisame gulped, then nodded grimly. "Okay. Get ready."

Chachamaru closed her eyes, allowing her inner power flux to relax. "Ready to let it go. Your turn."

Chisame took in a lot of breath, obeying Karakuri's instructions. Seeing all of the Mahora she knew in the eye of her mind, wishing for all of its electric systems, for all its terminals and outlets, to be one, and to be one with her, their hidden, blocked power reviving and charging her up, making her feel almost burning inside. She felt the affinity, the connection to each one of them. Even the word itself for it came clearly to her mind. Technopath.

_"Forgive me, Chachamaru,"_ she whispered.

And then she allowed all of that power to flow out of the scepter and into the robot girl.

"Let there be light," Cocone's voice quietly commented.

And there was.

* * *

><p>Negi had never imagined he'd die rammed head first by a nude tiny vampire blonde.<p>

Itoshiki had imagined it at times, but quickly kicked the idea out of his head. He fancied himself a gentleman, after all.

As the enraged Evangeline zoomed down for them at an amazing speed, they stood in awed fear, the usual shtick of images of their lives flashing before their eyes.

Negi saw Anya's smiling face. His sister taking him by the hand. Himself and Chamo being chased by angry villagers with pitchforks asking for their panties. Anya's angry face. A village ravaged between the snow. His father standing tall and proud before him. His kiss with Chisame. The Merdiana Magus warning them Harry Potter spells didn't work in real life. His kiss with Misora. That time he fell into an icy lake and nearly died. His kiss with Satomi. His shock at learning Santa Claus wasn't real. His first meeting with Takamichi. His kiss with Misa. The time he nearly died learning that anti-demon spell.

Nozomu saw himself falling face-first in the mud. His first self-hanging attempt, at kindergarten. His first girlfriend leaving him for his older brother. Kafuka calling him 'Pink Supervisor'. His brief stint selling makeup kits. His time as a captive of Somali pirates. His second girlfriend leaving him for his other older brother. His first encounter with Mesousa-san. His rescue from certain death at Ala Rubra's hands. Jack Rakan giving him a wedgie. His third girlfriend leaving him for his little sister. His daring escape from mad scientists at the Polynesian Islands. The time a train hit him in the face. His sister's birth. His fourth girlfriend leaving him for a lesbian queen.

"It was a good life..." Negi whispered.

"Why did I bother?" Itoshiki wondered.

However, before she could reach them, Evangeline stopped in midair, suddenly shaken by a jolt of large amounts of power leaving her body, manifesting itself as huge crackling streams of ice and darkness flowing out of her and dissipating in the cold air of the night.

She threw her head back and screamed, overtaken by unbearable pain, convulsing madly for a few moments before losing awareness and plummeting down like a rock.

"Mas... ter...!" Chachamaru still twitched weakly from where she was, attempting to reach for her. "Not... good. Too... high... Help..."

Then her eyes went white and she slumped down in place.

"Evangeline-san!" Negi screamed as he ran for her, forgetting even the wound in his leg. He jumped up and out to catch her even as she passed down quickly, heading straight towards the waters below.

"Negi-sensei!" Nozomu still attempted to catch him before he could do it, but he wasn't fast enough.

"SENSEI!" Chisame shrieked, running for him as well. But she knew she couldn't be there in time. She had failed, after all. Failed him. "SENSEI!"

As she fell, Evangeline felt herself softly caressed by the air whooshing around her. It was soothing, actually. Maybe it was better that way after all. She was weak and powerless again, diminutive, pathetic. A little child. Life had cheated her again, so why continue? At least no one but the brats and Despair would know she had died in such a sad way. To everyone else, she'd leave nothing but a legacy of terror, a dark legend to be feared and respected.

A vampire couldn't hope for anything else, after all.

Then she barely saw the boy coming down after her. Had she struck the boy down with herself? She honestly couldn't remember. Her head felt empty and foggy at once. No, the boy was reaching down for her, trying to save her. The idiot. She had been refused salvation long before he was born.

And now he'd waste his life in vain, just for her. What an idiot.

Hadn't she known someone just as idiotic once...?

* * *

><p><em>"Hey, you okay, kiddo?"<em>

The man had grabbed her right hand them, right before she could fall into the abyss.

_"You nearly had a nasty fall there!"_

His voice was deep and manly, but his manners were so childish and immature. The exact opposite of the boy.

_"Keep looking for her! She must be somewhere around here!"_

The townsfolk still howled in the distance, asking for her blood. Encouraged by their grief after one loss too many, they had managed to drive her on a run for her life when she was in a weakened state. She had tripped, and if not for the man, she'd have met a final, true death.

_"Who are you? Why have you saved me?"_

_"Are you dumb? You're a child! Why should have I let you die? C'mon, eat this! It's very yummy!"_

She grumpily accepted his sweet potatoes and the fish over the campfire, munching on them with barely disguised hunger. She was sure he only was trying to trick her, to catch her and claim the bounty. It wouldn't be the first time it had happened to her.

But he never tried to deliver her. He even tried to leave her behind after a few weeks.

_"Shouldn't you go back to your Mommy and Daddy? I can't be taking care of any brats!"_

_"You know I have no family. I'm just following my own way. It simply happens to coincide with yours."_

The weeks became months, and he still showed no interest on her. Tempting him with every forbidden allure hadn't worked, something she was unused to. Finally, her despair after exhausting all other options had driven her to stoop herself to show her true feelings.

_"The Master wants you to marry her! Do it, or I'll slice your throat off, bitch!"_

In retrospect, maybe allowing Chachazero to declare her love for her hadn't been her brightest idea.

_"Whoa, I thought you'd have understood by now, Kiddo. I don't like you that way, see? I'm not into flat girlies, sorry. You should try someone else. Preferably far away from me."_

_"Never,"_ she had promised herself. _"Even if I must follow you to the world's end, I'll force you to accept me. We're meant to be together. Sooner or later, you'll realize that."_

But then he had cursed her. Binding her to a mockery of a prison.

_"Bwa ha ha ha! Oh, Kiddo, you look really well in a school uniform! Just too cute for words! Ah ha ha ha!"_

_"Oh my, my! Is she really the Dark Evangel, the fiend with six millions on her head? Certainly hard to believe..."_ Konoe Konoemon rubbed his long white beard thoughtfully. _"But you truly have presented me with a problem, Nagi-san. She's too old for Elementary School, but looks too young for High School. I suppose there's no alternative but leaving her at Middle School and hope the students believe she's a precocious one..."_

_"I'll kill you both... Drink your whole blood, break your bones, pierce your skulls, rip your useless genitals off..."_ she viciously hissed.

But Nagi only smiled at her.

_"Don't be angry at me, Kiddo. You brought it on yourself. But if you're a good kid and you learn your lessons here, I swear I'll come back and undo your curse, okay?"_

She only pouted. _"Promise?"_

_"On my honor."_

But he never returned.

* * *

><p>It hurt even now, as she felt to yet another death, closing her eyes. Her only relief was the pain would end soon.<p>

But for some reason, it was almost a pity the boy would have to die as well. He'd been… nice…

"MEA VIRGA!" she heard, rising above the concerned shouts of her classmates.

And she felt herself grabbed by a wrist and pulled up, quickly gaining height as she opened her eyes again. She looked into the boy's bright eyes, and felt her heart skipping a bit. "What...?"

"Evangeline-san!" he said. "Are you okay?"

Her mouth moved angrily. "Wh-Why have you saved me? I could have killed you! What kind of imbecile are you?" She tightened her hands against her bare chest.

"You're my student, Evangeline-san," he warmly said, pulling the still wet magical staff further down towards the bridge. "I don't need any other reason."

She bit her lower lip, turning her head aside. "What a cretin."

As they landed, he softly put her down, while Itoshiki offered her his hakama shirt to cover herself up. She accepted it with a grunt, hastily pulling it around her torso. Chisame ran to Negi's side, eyes welled up in tears, hitting his head with a fist. "You stupid idiot!" Then she hugged him, pressing him against herself. "What if you had died?-! We'd have been in despair! Your death would have left us in despair!"

"And those are my catchphrases," Nozomu humbly said, being as ignored as usual.

"We did it...?" Misora was groggily saying, coming back to her feet aided by Cocone and approaching them. "Wait. We really are alive? We did it for real? Hell, yeah! We beat the Dark Evangel! We're The Man! We're The Man!"

_"Baka,"_ Cocone whispered.

Chachamaru was coming back online as Hakase finished pulling pieces of needles out of her eyes. "Master... Sorry. I..." her voice faltered. "Failed you again..."

"Hush. Hush, please," Satomi told her maternally. "Nothing of this is your fault..."

"You did great, Negi-kun," Misa rubbed his hair and winked an eye at him.

"Indeed," Itoshiki pushed his glasses up his nose before pulling his wooden ruler out again. "Highly courageous. However," he aimed the ruler at the girls, "You have broken one of magic's main taboos! I'm sorry, but I'll have to erase your memories before we all are sentenced to an eternity of erminedom!"

Despite her blurred vision and her current damaged mobility, Chachamaru still managed to be before him in a flash, to grab his thin wrist very strongly. "Don't you dare."

"Sensei!" a tiny voice came from the other side of the bridge, panting and wheezing. "If you want to punish someone, punish me, please! It's all my fault, after all!"

They all looked at the newcomer; Kaga Ai stood with her hands on her knees, hunched over and with her tongue almost hanging out. "Sorry I failed both you, Sensei, and you, Eva-sama! I deserve anything you can do to me!"

"What the blazes?" Evangeline said. "You managed to break through my spell, and keeping your memories of it? How?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't say!" Ai wailed. "I-I just know I couldn't keep doing any harm to Sensei, so I broke down like the useless thing I am! Then I saw the lights at the distance, and I guessed you'd be here, so I came to apologize!"

"Where are your classmates, Kaga-san?" Itoshiki asked her.

"Ummm... Like you said, I left them at a safe place... One where no one will think of looking for them to hurt them..."

Cocone approached her, touched her, and blinked. "You left them at a trash dumpster."

Ai cried again. "They were too heavy for me to drag them all the way up! It's the dumpster right outside our dorm!"

Nozomu sighed. "It's good you're here, in any case. So I can erase your memory too..."

Negi stepped between him and the girls, extending his arms and shielding them all. "You'll have to erase my memory first!"

"Negi-kun...!" Misa breathed.

Itoshiki glared at him. "Is this a conscious challenge to the Academy's regulations, Negi-sensei? This could have quite serious consequences for you..."

Without saying a single word, the boy still stood against him, glaring back with intensity.

Feeling not only his eyes, but those of all the girls, from Evangeline's sharp and cold ones to Kaga's confused and fearful ones, so squarely fixed on him, the older teacher finally sighed and pocketed his ruler back. "I know I'll regret this."

"I can sympathize," Chisame honestly offered.

"Thank you for your undeserved vote of confidence!" Ai fell to her knees before them all. "I swear on my life I won't ever reveal your dark, horrible secret to the unaware masses you no doubt are preparing to sacrifice to the foul beasts of the pit in a naked orgy of lewd and immoral acts!"

Misa perked up. "Lewd and immoral acts, huh? Do we really do those things at this business?"

"What's the deal with her?" Chisame asked.

"Long story. I'll tell you later," the cheerleader promised.

"Hm, hm, hm. Dolts, all of you," Evangeline said, finally regaining her habitual aloofness. "Chachamaru! As for you, to make up for your unforgivable new failure, you'll have to repay me with decades, no, _centuries_ of the most abject servitude!"

"So no change then?" Nozomu asked.

Chachamaru looked hopeful. "Does that mean you aren't going to dismiss me, Master?"

"Dismiss you? HAH! That'd be too merciful to you! Your ass is mine, Chachamaru!" The undead mage closed a fist up. "And I'm going to make sure you work the hell out of it! Your ass is going to be so sore you'll never be able to sit down again!"

"Can't you pronounce two sentences without saying anything that won't be grounds for a sexual harassment lawsuit?" Misa wondered.

"Thank you so very much, Master," the robot softly smiled.

Negi, meanwhile, was chuckling softly, pulling his roster-book out and writing 'WE BEAT HER!' under Eva's picture. "Anyway, Evangeline-san, now you'll stop attacking people at night, won't you? And you won't skip any more classes, either... You'll study hard so you can graduate along with everyone else!"

Evangeline's dangerous smirk returned. "We'll see about that. But remember this, and remember it well, Boya. Watch your back. Because I'm far from being the only powerful enemy your father made, and they'll be gunning for you right like I was. You might not be so lucky next time." She turned to his Ministra. "As for the lot of you, I'd suggest pondering your future choices while you still have them. Tonight, you put on a pathetic, sad showing of poor, uncoordinated skills. If you really want to be Ministra Magi, you'll have to try better than that. If not, just quit right now. You've been warned. That's something the Mistress of Darkness does for almost no one." Her fierce green eyes sparkled threateningly.

Chisame looked stunned for a few moments at such grim words, until she noticed Negi staring up at her. "Talking about that, Chisame-san, whatever happened to your mouth?" He worriedly reached up, putting a hand on a cheek of his first Ministra. "Does it hurt?"

"Oh, this? It's nothing, really!" Chisame said while crouching down to give him a better view of her gums. "Chachamaru only grazed me with a fist. It doesn't even hurt anymore!"

"Are you sure about that, Hasegawa Chisame?" Evangeline chuckled callously, then grabbed Negi and Chisame's heads and pushed them against each other, making their lips to crash in a rough kiss. "Let's see about that!"

Negi's eyes widened just as Chisame's ones watered up with sudden tears of sharp pain.

At that moment, Chamo finally arrived the scene, bathed in sweat and dragging himself on. "Path too long... Legs too short..." Then he brightened. "Oh, Bro! I see you all decided to skip the pointless fight and just start a wild party! Way to go! I'll get the video camera, whipped cream and lubricant"

"KYAAAAA!" Chisame jerked her head back. "THAT HURT!"

As Misora and Misa began to tease her mercilessly, Negi seemed vacant and mesmerized for a moment, while absently swallowing the few drops of the blood from Chisame's gums, rolling them into his tongue, finding its taste so wonderfully sweet. If he had been more aware of himself, he'd have noticed, at the same time, a brief tingle at the spot of his neck where Eva had bitten him. But the strange sensation went as quick as it had come, and he paid it no actual attention.

* * *

><p>Standing at the rooftop of a nearly building, a long haired young woman in a tight black leather suit lowered her binoculars and pulled a cellphone out. "Chao? It's Kuga. It's all over now. Like you predicted, they managed to beat Evangeline without needing my intervention. However, looks like Kakizaki Misa and Kaga Ai from 2-F have learned about the kid's secret, too."<p>

There was a soft, subdued giggle at the other end of the line. "Hee hee. Is that so? Very, very interesting. This game's shaping up to be very intriguing, neh...?"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at the dorm she shared with Konoka, Kagurazaka Asuna was staring through her window, at the distant bridge now covered by lights once more.<p>

"Kagurazaka-san?" Setsuna, their guest for the night, lifted her head from the futon on the floor she had insisted on sleeping on despite Konoka's protests. "Why are you still awake?"

"The lights returned sooner than scheduled," Asuna quietly mused. "Weird, huh? And I could swear I saw some strange flashes all over the bridge. I know it's a dumb thing to say, but..." her voice briefly sounded tinted by heartfelt nostalgia, "Somehow, for some reason, I felt I should have been there..."

* * *

><p>Very early the next morning, it was a pummeled and bruised Itoshiki who stood at the front of Class 2-F, getting ready to start his Classic Literature lessons of the day.<p>

"Good morning, or at least a reasonable facsimile thereof, class," he started. "Don't ask about the bandages; I only had an accident with a can opener and a pit bull. Today, we'll be studying the works of Ishihara Sentarou before he went, for lack of a better term, batshit crazy..."

As usual, most of the class wasn't paying much attention. Harumi had started to draw hardcore Yaoi again, Abiru was contemplating the teacher's bandages and comparing them to her own, and Meru happily munched on the piece of cake Kafuka had brought her. Chiri, meanwhile, angrily muttered from her seat, rubbing her still aching head. "I still have no idea why did we wake up at a trash dump, dressed like French maids, and with Kafuka-san's bare breasts on my face..."

"I'm sure it must have been a wonderful night...!" Kafuka dreamily sighed. Her classmates raised their eyebrows, looking between her and Chiri.

Nami glared at Kaga again. "You still sure you don't know what happened, Ai-chan?"

But for once, Kaga was too busy lovingly looking at the front of the class to notice, or even apologize.

Meanwhile, at 2-A, Ayaka was scandalized. And that's an understatement. And saying that was an understatement was an understatement, too.

"N-N-Negi-sensei?-!-? Why in the world are you limping, Hasegawa-san has a swollen mouth, Kasuga-san has a black eye, and Hakase-san has been repairing Karakuri-san all morning long?"

"Well..." he awkwardly began, "You'll see, while we were all walking together in the dark, we happened to fall down some stairs..."

Nodoka blinked. "Stairs, Sensei?"

"Very tall stairs," he nodded.

In what was becoming a recurring tic for her, Chisame buried her face between her hands.

Madoka gave Misa a level glare. The other cheerleader smiled brightly and tried not to squirm. "So these _aren't_ defensive wounds caused by you trying to force yourself on Negi-sensei during your date yesterday?" Madoka said.

Itoshiki's class and tangent into a strange topic that included a list containing: a red marble; Superman's dressing habits; Ayanagi Ran's artwork; the overuse of seafood sexual metaphors in Nasu-verse works; whether Geoff Johns was better than Grant Morison; the upcoming Harry Potter Movie; and whether Supergirl and Batgirl were lesbians, was interrupted by all the windows breaking at Ayaka's super-powered shriek of "_**WHAT?-! MISA WENT ON A DATE WITH NEGI-SENSEI AND ENDED UP NOT GOING TO HER ROOM THAT NIGHT?-!**_"

"He really should have just let me erase their memories," Nozomu sighed.

Back at 2-A, Chisame blinked. "Wait… Iinchou knows Chachamaru is a robot?"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	9. Death & Strawberry

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Death &amp; Strawberry<strong>.

* * *

><p><em>The hills of Wales.<em>

"… And that's how it all happened," Negi helpfully finished with the same kind of gentle smile he always had on. He had skipped over a few things, like his Pactios and how he'd had his cover blown several times, and meeting that cute ghost who lived (for lack of a better word) in the classroom, but overall, he had told his cousin basically the whole story of his stay in Mahora Academy so far. "So Chamo is now living with us, and I've made a new good friend in Itoshiki-sensei! I love being here, and Chisame-san and Hakase-san are both very nice to me! I hope you can get to meet them soon, Nekane! Say hi to Anya for me, please!"

Sitting under the old oak tree wearing her long black dress, the gorgeous young blonde smiled to herself. Ah, her Negi was all but a man now. With a job of his own, and respected and beloved by his colleagues and pupils. She folded the letter, making the red haired boy's magical hologram disappear, and looked up at the clear blue sky.

She missed him so very much, but as long as she knew he was okay and happy, she'd bear his absence for the time being. After all, everything that truly mattered was his happiness.

The only thing that bothered her was how he was keeping secrets from her now, something he'd never do before. She didn't doubt his word when he said he'd defeated the Dark Evangel, since he was never one to boast, but there was no way he could have done that alone. Or even with Itoshiki's help. She remembered Uncle Nagi's stories about him, after all.

She'd have to write a letter to Chamo asking him exactly how many Pactio Partners had he set up for Negi…

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, in another world, one beyond the veils of mortality that define the human realm, a similar soft breeze blew all over a similar flowery field, over which flew hundreds of white butterflies, as long as sight reached. At the middle of that field, there was an old, traditionally styled two-story house which just had to be owned by a family of some renown, position and respect.<p>

"Ichi-nii, wake up!" a shrill, very young female voice broke through the early silence of that home. "It's breakfast time! You'll be late for your job!"

The short girl with just as short light brown hair then took the fried eggs off the kitchen, carefully serving them onto the four plates. Old fashioned as her family could be, they had been picking some Western customs from the living world over the last few decades, and she especially was starting to favor cooking from the West of late.

"It's ready!" she said, walking over to the breakfast table with the plates and rather pleased with herself. "Doesn't it look great?"

Her black haired twin sister nodded as she accepted her plate, and their father also seemed to know from behind the newspaper held before his face. But their orange-haired older brother already was out the front door, in full Shinigami regalia. "I'm on my way…! Don't wait for me up…!"

"But Ichi-niichan!" the girl with brown hair cried. "What about your breakfast?!"

"I'm sorry, Yuzu!" he said, crossing the threshold of their garden. "Keep it in the fridge, and I swear I'll have it for dinner!"

"But, but it beats the purpose of breakfast, having it for dinner!" Kurosaki Yuzu protested. Alas, too late, since he already was gone.

Their father let the newspaper droop a couple inches, revealing a face own which slid comical streams of tears. "That ungrateful son of mine…! I'll punish him oh so dearly when he comes back…!"

"He's just doing his job," the black haired girl dryly replied.

"There's a difference between doing your duty and coldly scorning your Imouto's affection!" the man argued. "Oh, oh, if only your mother could see him now…!"

* * *

><p>Elsewhere in the same world, down and into the nearby city that majestically sat over the hills, there was an elite area, where the country's protectors sat in never ending vigilance within heavily armored walls. The headquarters of the Gotei 13, the Imperial Guards of the afterlife's equivalent to Japan.<p>

In the top story of the building for the Fifth Division of such forces, sat a handsome, yet unassuming, quiet and humble looking tall man with messy, dark brown hair and glasses, in black robes and doubled over a desk, writing in deep thinking.

"Captain Aizen?" a voice asked from outside his office. "May I speak with you for a moment?"

The man looked towards his door and smiled gently. "Of course, Hinamori-kun. Please step in."

Shortly after, he read carefully from the report given to him by the short, average looking girl with black hair made into a bun and wearing the standard uniform of the Reapers who sat before him, her head low.

"Most satisfying," he finally said, in his ever rich and cultured tones. "As usual, as intensive and well thought an analysis as I have grown to expect from you."

Although her head did not rise, a bright, pleased smile grazed her pale lips, one she made sure to keep from him. Even so, her tone when answering gave it up all the same. "Thank you very much, Captain! Oh, and this is the report I am going to feature in the Annual Lieutenant Meeting. If, if you would be as kind as to give it a look…"

"Oh, of course I will," he readily said. If he was inconvenienced at all by the insistence of the sole being in creation with as much of a liking for bureaucratic paperwork as Takamachi Nanoha, he showed nothing of it. Odds were Hinamori Momo would not have noticed it anyway.

* * *

><p>A few blocks away, the third being in creation in the scale of Love for Paperwork sighed in exasperation. The silver haired, boyish looking Hitsugaya Toshiro ran a hand down his face. "Why, oh why in the world, can't you be <em>at least a bit<em> more like Hinamori-san…?"

His much taller, massive chested lieutenant hiccupped in her sleep, face down on a couch of their strategic meeting room, still hugging the same bottle of liquor he had seen her when he first walked in…

* * *

><p>Late that night, a lonely, tall figure stood at the top of a lamppost at the middle of Academy City. A large sheathed sword, enough to make Setsuna's look small, hung from his back. This, unlike Setsuna's, was probably <em>not <em>a highly symbolic Freudian statement. Probably.

His long black sleeves flowed in the chill breeze, as his eyes scanned the urban landscape. Eventually, his gaze settled on the area around the faraway giant tree towering over the Academy grounds.

"Shit..." he whispered to himself. "So she's really in there, after all. Those barriers will weaken me just passing through them..."

He sighed, ruffling a hand through his orange wild hair as the black butterflies fluttered around him.

"I guess there's no point on avoiding it, or I'll never hear the end of it from the old man..."

He skillfully jumped out into the night. He'd need something to pass through the barriers and get her. He'd probably need to grovel before the stupid shopkeeper…

Just what he needed to start the week...

* * *

><p>A few calm, unremarkable days followed after that.<p>

They would continue being that way for a blissful short while longer for Negi and his roommates– except for the usual morning incidents of provocatively positioned roommates who weren't on your bed the night before– but for now, let's focus on someone else.

The big, fancy, white-painted house was only a few blocks away from the main entrance to Mahora campus, meaning our guest co-star for this chapter had no need for living in the Academy itself. She didn't even need to take the bus. Only walking a few minutes, then making her way to the main building from the gates. All in all, still a relatively long walk considering the huge size of Mahora, but the girl didn't complain. She considered herself fortunate with her lot in life.

"Onii-sama, I'm going!" She hopped on a foot while squeezing the other one into its shoe, hopping her way to the house's front door. That was part of why she disliked shoes. Her feet had always been so small, it had always been hard to find shoes her size. Leading her to have to settle for shoes for much younger girls, which often were too small even for her, ironically.

"Behave properly and responsibly, Rukia," her older brother's calm, stoic voice came from behind his newspaper, in the same dry and manly monotone he used for every other occasion. He didn't even look at her; only his long, well coifed black hair neatly tied into a yuppie ponytail peeked from behind the pages he had all but buried himself into.

"And you finish your breakfast before it gets cold!" she chided him. "I didn't take the effort to cook it for nothing!"

He only reached out with an elegant hand to quietly grab a cookie shaped like a hideous, deformed cartoon bunny and politely wetted it into his coffee before taking it to his mouth, charmingly but sadistically biting its head off. It silent death screams went unnoticed by all except the dark-robbed Death-Of-Hideous-Deformed-Cartoon-Rabbit-Cookies…

Satisfied with that, the short and thin girl with large dark eyes and short black hair smiled. "Have a good day, Oniisama!"

"You too, Rukia," he answered, as dry as before, to the point no one but his sister could hope to detect the underlying small degree of fondness in his words.

"Sure thing!" she said before trotting outside at a sedate pace, closing the door behind her.

_My name's Kuchiki Rukia, 16 years old. I study at High School Class 1-C of Mahora Academy. Since my parents died, I've lived under the tutelage of my older brother Byakuya. All in all, I consider myself an average person of my age. Except for a single detail._

_I can see spirits. I would say 'I see dead people', but honestly, I'm afraid of getting sued._

_I'm pretty sure Oniisama can, too, although he never will admit it, not even to me. But I can see his eyes casually following a ghost whenever it wanders across our way. As if expecting for it to attack at any moment. That's Oniisama's way; he keeps both the living and the dead at arms' length at all times._

_Anyway, I tend to see ghosts at all hours and all places. The mall, the theater, the streets, the restaurants, restrooms… I stopped peeing in public toilets a long time ago. It's pretty unnerving until you get used to it and pretend to ignore them. More often than not they are only vague passing shadows with vague features, floating around repeating the same gestures they made in life, as if trying to latch onto what they once were. Kinda like a hippie uncle who is always trying to get his band back together. Ignore them, and they'll ignore you too. Sadly, this tactic doesn't work on my uncle._

_But in all my time studying at Mahora, I've never, ever had seen a ghost inside of the Academy. At all._

_Until very recently._

_Then I met the girl with the red eyes._

It had started with the briefest glimpse while passing by next to 2-A's door on the way to speak with one of the teacher's whose office was in the building about some club thing. There she had caught a passing glimpse of a pale figure going through a wall. If it had happened anywhere but at Mahora, Rukia wouldn't even have blinked. But in all her years of studying there, it was the first time she had seen a ghost on the school grounds. And somehow, it just felt wrong.

Still, he continued walking to her own classroom, trying to push the event out of her mind, only hoping she wouldn't see more spirits at the only place where she was free of them. But after classes, while walking back home, she had seen the girl again, this time sneaking into Classroom 2-F. The same thing happened pretty much every day afterward.

Part of Rukia just wanted to leave the matter alone, but something else told her she maybe should try to contact the ghost and ask her why had she shown up all of a sudden at the school. Decisions, decisions...

She still was lost in such thoughts when she saw the large crowd gathered around a corner barely two blocks away from the Mahora gates. There was a police line, and lots of nervous chatter and muttering. Rukia wouldn't have minded it much (such events, after all, had become rather usual at the city lately, a fact that should probably have made her more nervous, but would only have become obvious after many years, apocalyptic events and hindsight) if not for the fact that corner used to be the manifestation place for a ghost girl who had died there a few years back, hit by a truck. She often greeted Rukia when she passed by, and Rukia would greet back out of pure politeness. Now, however, from what she could peek at between the people, her small, humble memorial had been crushed and destroyed; the walls around it seemed to have been burned and cracked down beyond repair.

"Some kind of hate crime, no doubt..." someone said.

"Too big. Heard some chemical load was spilled here..."

"I heard the government's trying to cover it up, and that this was caused by their secret espers battling the forces of evil!"

"Don't be silly Haruhi, it's probably nothing of the sort. Right, Koizumi-san?"

"Of course, Kyon-kun. It was probably children's card-game playing bikers…."

Rukia cringed, feeling a horrible piercing sensation in her guts. The whole site reeked of evil and death now, in a way she never had experienced before. It unnerved her, as if some sort of sentient shadow had stood before her, chilling her to her bones. Kinda like the times she passed the display of Stephanie Meyer books in the store.

It was then when she noticed a rather petite and thin schoolgirl with a middle school Mahora uniform also looking at the scene with calmed, cold black eyes. She was carrying a large, tubular cloth case on her back, and her skin was pale, her face beautiful but sharp and humorless.

The sight of a fellow student moved Rukia to head back to the school, rushing before she was late. She had a horrible feeling about the ghost girl's safety, something she never had felt for any spirit before, but there was nothing she could do it about it.

Her moody thoughts were suddenly interrupted when, right after stepping into the Campus, she was assaulted by a red haired blur pouncing on her from behind.

"RUKIII-CHAAAAAN!" a high pitched yell shook her ears, as that someone did her best to squeeze the air out of her in a hug that pushed her small breasts up and made some ribs to sound like they were cracking.

"Can't... breathe, you idiot!" She threw an elbow back, hitting her attacker and sending her stumbling back as she gasped for air. "Dammit, Chizuru!"

The bespectacled, short haired redhead currently rubbing her aching butt while sprawled on the ground whined melodramatically. "Owww, that was so mean, Ruki-chan... A simple 'Softer, please' would have sufficed..."

"I don't want it 'softer' either!" Kuchiki snapped as she dusted herself off, as if trying to get all particles of the other girl off herself. "One of these days, I'm going to have enough, and when that happens...!"

The slightly taller girl pouted, looking wounded as a few subtitles reading 'HONSHO CHIZURU-NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH 2-A'S NABA CHIZURU' appeared, floating in midair under her. "You never can have enough of the sweet, feminine love I offer!" she lectured, lifting an index finger up. "Once you go on the Chizuru track, you never can go back!"

Rukia shot her a burning glare. "I'd like to send you back. Back to the zoo."

A much taller, definitely much bustier schoolgirl with long and flowing orange hair tried to laugh as she stepped between them, waving Chizuru's subtitles away while her own appeared reading 'ORIHIME INOUE' atop her head. "C'mon, c'mon, don't start fighting so early! How are you today, Rukia-chan?" she greeted the newcomer with a wide, innocent smile.

"I was fine. Now, I'll tell you when my sides stop hurting," Kuchiki sighed. "Anyway, good morning to you too, Orihime."

The girl with the sword then passed by next to them, walking quickly, never looking at them. Rukia gave her a brief curious look before whispering to her classmates, _"I'd like to know something. Who's that girl?"_

Chizuru's eyes sparkled devilishly. "I *_knew_* you'd start seeing things my way, Ruki-chan! Not a bad choice at all, if I may say so! Class 2-A has a lot of cute kouhais to offer, and _just _messed up in the head enough to go along with anything to boot!"

"Wait, I don't mean-" Rukia started, before Chizuru pulled a thick notebook stuffed with all sorts of clipped extra annotations and photos, flipping through it before settling at a page. "Sakurazaki Setsuna, a prodigy of the Kendo Club! Elegant, dignified, not too academically bright, but gifted with a certain Yamato Nadeshiko charm! And the rumors say she might be playing in the same ballpark as us!" she squealed.

"I don't play the same sports, much less in the same park as you!" Rukia snapped.

Chizuru closed the book solemnly. "Denial is the first step on the often rocky, but always stimulating, road to accepting our true condition."

Rukia hissed, an icy aura floating over her. "I'll show you 'Rocky'... Until you're KOed..."

Inoue made a long suffering face. "Girls, please... We'll be late...!"

"If I'm late, I only ask to be buried with Ruki-chan..." Chizuru teased, purring as she leaned towards the object of her affection.

"Keep doing that, and you'll have to settle with being buried _by_ Ruki-chan," the black haired student growled, veins softly popping on her head.

* * *

><p>As mentioned several chapters ago, if you excuse this new blatant abuse of the Fourth Wall, Mahora Academy was still a mostly feminine study house. The new needs of the new times had started bringing in male students a few years back, but those still were a notable minority. They were treated by male students from other schools with a mixture of contempt over 'being studying to become girlies' and envy over being surrounded by young women. The former was most likely born from the latter.<p>

1-C, for instance, only had two male pupils on it, much to Chizuru's never-ending relief. The redhead only avoided looking at them as she, Rukia and Orihime left the classroom after the end of classes bell rang, although, much to her annoyance, her friends, just like always, saw fit to stop by to tell them their goodbyes.

"See you tomorrow, Chad-kun," Rukia simply told the gigantic, lumbering dark skinned boy quietly reading a book at the back of the class. He lifted his head up to give her a short respectful nod.

"Have a good evening," his voice was slow and thick, yet serene and kind. His eyes were sleepy and deep, half hidden by his unruly dark hair swooping down over the upper half of his face.

"Good evening to you too, Ishida-kun!" Orihime happily waved at a much smaller, thinner and distant boy sitting at a corner on the opposite side of the classroom. He merely lifted his eyes up from the sewing he was doing for the short, shy looking brown haired girl right before him, barely acknowledging Inoue's existence with a brief nod before going back to sewing on the beaten, ripped teddy bear in his hands. His eyes once again became fully unreadable behind his glasses.

"Oafs," Chizuru muttered while the three of them left the classroom behind.

"Well, I'll admit Ishida's almost impossible to talk to, but Chad-kun's a good boy. Just the extremely silent type," Rukia shrugged casually.

"Neanderthal," Honsho insisted with a little pout.

"Ishida-kun can be scary at times, but he's good person, too," Orihime commented. "He made me the loveliest dress for the Christmas party..."

"I'll admit he has a good eye for the fashions," Chizuru relented, "But then again, you'll look good in anything, Hime... or nothing at all…"

"He's also a great help with homework," Orihime added.

"Not like you really need it, anyway," Rukia told her.

"Ehhhh! I'm not Chao Lingshen!" Inoue said. "I often need help, too! Last term, I had this huge problem with advanced logarithms, and I only passed the final test because he helped me with it..."

"Really? I only did what any good boxer would," Chizuru said.

"What do you mean?" Kuchiki asked her.

"I lost the match, but trained hard to beat the rematch," Honsho replied.

"Wasn't that the test where you cheated with a-" Rukia began.

"Hush! Secrets of the trade! These walls have ears!" Chizuru hastily silenced her. Then they reached the building's front door. "Hey, Ruki-chan, what if you call your brother and tell him you'll be spending the night with us?"

Rukia grimaced, expecting the usual routine to ensue. "No, thanks. To be frank, I have other things to do."

"But we can rent movies and have intense friendly, not physical at all, close bonding all night long!" Chizuru promised.

"No," Rukia still said.

"I promise I won't get naked this time!" the redhead added.

"That's what you promise every time!"

Orihime laughed bashfully. "Never mind, Rukia-chan. Just have fun doing whatever you're going to do..."

"Oh, it isn't a 'fun' thing to do. Just... helping someone dealing with some unfinished business. That's all," she informed, beginning to walk away. "See you tomorrow, guys."

"Bye Bye!" Inoue said in perfect Engrish.

Chizuru made a defeated face. "I really wasn't going to strip this time..." Then her eyes glinted, and she grabbed her tall friend by an arm. "You, on the other hand, will always be with me, won't you, Hime?"

"Ummm, I course I will, Chizuru-chan..."

"Great! So you'll come to my room tonight so we can, um, chat and stuff?"

"We do live together, after all, Chizuru-chan..." the taller girl laughed while sweating.

"And thank God for that! Shall we get going?" she started to drag her away. "Say, I haven't shown you my newest camisoles yet, have I?"

As she prudently waited behind a tree for her friends to retreat, Rukia *still* couldn't help but feel guilty about leaving Orihime with Chizuru. What Inoue needed was a bodyguard. Maybe a karateka one. But honestly, that was silly. Who in that school had a bodyguard?

_Some ways away, Konoka, Negi and Evangeline sneezed._

Still, unfortunate as that was, she really had other things to do.

Sneaking back into the Middle School building, Kuchiki headed straight for Classroom 2-A. There was no one there; the boy teacher she'd heard about and all his students had already left.

That only really left her with one option, other than leaving altogether, so Rukia sighed and directed her steps towards Classroom 2-F, the other most wretched and vile hive of scum and villainy at all of Mahora. Besides 2-C. And that weird SOS club. And the Student Council, not that anyone could say that in their listening range and survive it. And the World Domination Club. And the Panzer Team. And the Allies of Justice Club. And…

Warily, the girl walked down the now lonely, badly lit corridor at the end of the east wing, in complete silence, carefully measuring each step. It was so unusual for her to actually try to sneak up on a ghost; normally, she'd all but walk right through them. What was so different about this one, she wondered.

She could hear soft, low girlish chattering and giggling from the dreaded classroom of the (other) insane. The one everyone did their best to avoid unless completely necessary. Even Chizuru tried her best to ignore its girls ("Although Fujiyoshi-sempai does have her appeal..." she once had admitted).

And just her luck, the door was even half-open, too. Wait. Those were two voices. That meant there was another ghost, as well. Two girl ghosts showing up at the school all of a sudden? What were the odds? What could they be doing though?

A Chizuru-tainted part of her mind surprise-attacked her with some rather soft-core visions of what two girl ghosts from an all-girls school stuck with each other for all foreseeable eternity might get up to that…

Rukia firmly resolved to kick the real Chizuru next time she saw her as she banished the sudden and disturbingly arousing vision out of her mind.

Her curiosity piqued even more now, she slowly craned her neck ahead towards the door, straining her eyes to look into the shadowy classroom. The only light from the inside came from a small lantern at the floor of the other end of the room. Her ghost was floating near the lantern, amiably talking with what at first seemed to be another, sitting ghost, but on second glance was clearly a still living, even if very pale and skinny, young woman. Even so, her extremely long black hair and her deep, cadaverous, although perky and happy, dark eyes also added to her impression of being a living corpse, half wrapped in blankets, with only her large, bare white feet peeking from underneath them.

"More tea, Sayo-chan?" she was offering the ghost.

"Yes, please!" the dead girl said, very politely.

With a smile, the blanketed girl poured from a teapot into the cup the spirit was holding. Rukia's shock only grew when the ghost downed the drink, and it passed right through her making a small lake at the floor.

"Ahhhh! Delicious as always, Kiri-chan!"

The girl at the door instantly made a facefault sending her inside of the classroom.

Half an hour later, she was sharing the tea, wiggling her bare toes against the floor, her shoes and socks discarded aside. Ah, now that was the life. And Onii-sama wouldn't be at home for at least one hour more.

"So you can see ghosts too, huh?" she asked the other living girl.

"Only Sayo-chan," she cautioned. "Other than her, I've never seen one, although I must admit I've never been at the places where you'd be expected to find them. You could say I'm a bit... reclusive."

Sayo still seemed wary, hovering at Kiri's side, clutching her right shoulder.

"You don't need to be afraid," Rukia tried to comfort her, with a smile. "I swear I won't tell anyone about you. I only want to know, how long have you been here?"

"Well, I came here after classes finished, around one hour ago-"

"I mean at this school..." Kuchiki said.

"I don't remember." Sayo scowled cutely. Why everyone always wanted to know that? I was so rude, asking a girl about her age! Another girl, of all people, should realize that... "Around sixty years, I guess."

"Sixty years!" Rukia blinked. "It's... It's weird I never noticed you before."

"No one could, actually, until Negi-sen-" Sayo instantly covered her mouth and exhaled a brief panicked hiccup, realizing she had just said too much.

"Negi Springfield-sensei?" Kuchiki wondered. "What did he do?"

"I think he and Itoshiki-sensei are some sort of mediums," Kiri calmly explained while gathering the cups and dishes, apparently not minding much about the subject she explained. "Since they visited me a few weeks ago, I've been able to see and listen to Sayo-chan."

"But please don't tell anyone!" the ghost desperately begged. "Especially not them!"

"I won't! Who would believe me, anyway? Trust me, I know what's hiding such a secret like," the short haired student appeased her.

"Talking about secrets..." Kiri said, and much to her horror, Rukia noticed she was looking through her school bag and into her notebooks. "What's this, Kuchiki-san?" she giggled mischievously, holding a few pages full of doodles up.

"Ahhhh!" Sayo floated before them, eyeing them up and down. She honestly thought they were grotesque, but... "They're so cute! You have a very talented little brother or sister, Kuchiki-sempai!"

"Actually, I did those," Rukia dryly confessed.

"Oh, it's still very cute! It's heartwarming, to see you hold these memories of your childhood so close to you..." Sayo went on.

"I drew those today, between classes," Kuchiki's head hung down.

Sayo's smile froze on her face. "Oh, poot."

"Ah," Kiri uneasily blinked while examining the sheets. "They are very... avant-garde, as Itoshiki-sensei would say. Yes. Very... naif. A... unique and original style. You draw very cute bugs."

"They're bunnies! Chappy the Bunny and his good friends!" Rukia mashed the palms of her hands against her own face.

"Oh, yes, sorry. My bad," Kiri hastily apologized. "What does this 'Original Character! Do not steal!' mean, may I ask?"

"It's a..." Rukia sighed and snatched her sheets away. "Forget it. Come to think about it, I should be going back home."

"Oh! So soon?" Sayo's face saddened.

"My Oniisama doesn't like when I get back home late," she explained. "I'd be dishonoring the legacy of the Kuchiki family."

"In other words, he's afraid you could be continuing the Kuchiki bloodline too early," Kiri surmised.

"Basically."

"But-But you'll come back tomorrow, won't you?" Sayo fluttered, lowering her head bashfully. "I'm sorry if I offended you..."

Rukia forced herself to smile. "Of course you didn't! Look, I'll try to come back whenever I have the time, okay?"

The ghost nodded eagerly. "I'll look forward to it!"

"Me too," Kiri added.

Rukia responded with a brief token good will goodbye and promptly left, hugging her school bag against her chest, her shoes firmly grasped in a hand. Truly, she was so embarrassed, she even had forgotten about the socks. There was a good reason why she kept those sketches hidden even from Orihime. Why, that nosy, rude, insane hikikomori...

Then she stopped when she heard a window near her being opened from the outside. She stopped in mid-hall, consulting her wristwatch. It was late, much later than she had believed. She felt suddenly uneasy and hurried her steps down the hall, before hearing solid steps from behind her, heading in the exact opposite direction from her, towards Classroom 2-F.

Rukia gulped. Was it her imagination? No, those were definitely steps. Heavy and fast, no doubt a man's. Slowly, she turned her head back to see a tall orange haired young man in a black hakama shirt and loose dark gray pants, his feet clad in sandals, with his back turned to her, quickly backing towards where Sayo and Kiri were.

"Hey, you! Wait!" Kuchiki instinctively cried, no doubt more moved by the Kuchiki Honor and defense of the needed than by any rational reason. "Who are you, and where do you think you're going?"

He fully ignored her and continued advancing.

"Hey! Are you listening to me?-!"

He still ignored her words, never stopping.

A second later, one of Rukia's shoes bounced against his head.

That did it. He turned around fast, looking in all directions, unsheathing a sword large enough to make Rukia gasp aloud. And he looked in all directions, as if not even noticing she was there.

"Okay, who did that?-! Where are you?-!" the boy yelled.

"I-I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-!" she nervously began.

He finally noticed her, looking straight at her face with vivid curiosity. "You can see me?"

"Of course I can!" she held her hands before herself to keep him at bay. "How couldn't I? And don't get any closer! My brother has influences! You won't get away with this!"

He scratched his head cluelessly. "With what?"

"Whaddya mean 'with what'?! Don't play innocent now!"

"That's my line!" he snapped. "How can you see me in the first place?"

"Well, for starters, your punkish bleached hair stands out like a swollen thumb..."

"Why does people always say that?!" he growled, pointing at his head with a finger. "My hair is all natural, dammit! This! Is! Not! Bleach!"

* * *

><p>Finally, after a tense mutual staredown, he just threw his hands up and began walking away again. "Forget it. I have no time to waste talking to weird kids."<p>

"Weird kid? Me? You're around my age, and you're the one waving that huge thing around, so you have no right to say any part of that sentence!" Rukia protested, stomping after him despite her own reservations. "And you'd better leave right now or I'll call the police!"

"Your security agencies can't even see me," he mumbled, quickening his pace, visibly even more annoyed now. "And I'm not going to do anything bad anyway."

"Yeah, that explains why you broke into a school at night carrying a sword bigger than yourself!"

"I'm going to slay a Hollow. Could hardly do that with my naked hands, now could I?" the strange boy mumbled.

"What are you, some kind of crazy Otaku playing war games? God, the new legislation was right after all! No, wait, I take that back!" Rukia cried as she felt the murderous stares being directed at her from beyond the Fourth Wall. She shadowed him. "What's a 'Hollow' supposed to be? It's like one of those paintball targets?"

He stopped and gave her an exasperated look. "I don't understand half of what you're saying!"

"The feeling is definitely mutual, then!"

He sighed and ran a hand over his face. "Listen, kid. I'm a Shinigami, a god of death. A Soul Reaper."

Kuchiki blinked, stunned. "You... reap souls? So someone in this building is about to die?"

"I don't reap the souls from the living. Most of you can find your way into the light by yourselves after talking to Death-sama, although you seem clueless enough to need a map."

"HEY!"

"Yeah. Anyway, we claim those spirits who wander around even after they're supposed to ascend or descend. You could call us the police of the spirit world," he declared.

"I've seen many ghosts before, but never one of you," Rukia suspected. "You seem... too solid to be a ghost. You don't look different from any human. Hell, you're _definitely_ no Reikai Tantei!"

"I'll take that as a complement," he dryly delivered. "But honestly, I don't give a crap if you believe me or not."

"You sure use rather crass contemporary language for a spirit hunter from another realm," she pointed out.

"We spend all our working hours at this world walking amongst you people! Of course we pick bad manners from you!" he defended himself.

"Okay. Let's suppose I believe you. What's a 'Hollow'?" she asked.

"Well, the spirits basically come in two different kinds," he half-heartedly explained. "The most common by far are the 'Pluses', who are the ones you most likely see, if I understood your crazy diatribe well. They are harmless, generally stupid and annoying until you show them the right way, but otherwise okay. And then we have the 'Hollows'. Those are basically corrupted souls who gain power from devouring Pluses. Our job at this world is making sure the Pluses are sent to Soul Society and the Hollows are blasted down to Hell. Get it now, brat?"

"No. What's a 'Soul Society'?"

"The afterlife. The Heaven, I guess you could call it that. At least a part of a version of it; those things are complex and have many sub-departments. I wouldn't know, politics isn't my thing. The process to send a Plus there is called a 'Soul Burial'. You just tap the Plus on the noggin with this," he poked at the sword's handle, "And it's quickly sent to where it belongs. As simple as that."

"And what about the Hollows?"

He grinned, holding the sword up. "Well, they get the other end of this..."

"Figures," she whistled. "I guess I'm lucky I never saw one of those Hollow things."

"That's because we keep slaying them down. Otherwise you'd be swimming in them. You saw that whole mess near this school's door? The one that happened last night? That was a Hollow's work."

She tensed. "But then, the ghost girl who was there-!"

"Swallowed. I came too late to save her," he shook his head. "All because this place has barriers all around it preventing the likes of us to get close. It should have stopped the Hollow too, of course, but it's been eating Pluses all through town for the last few days, getting stronger so it could break in here. Tough bastard, and fast, too; it keeps eluding me. With each victim, it can come a bit closer, and I think it's already strong enough to get here. So I decided to get here first and wait for it so we can finish things once and for all."

"I thought you had said you couldn't get in either. So how did you-"

He shifted uneasily. "I got a charm of sorts from... someone. Even so, I'm not operating at 100% here. I only hope it's enough to stop the Hollow."

She started to get nervous. "Wait, there's only one ghost to devour here. And it's that of a small, cute, innocent and helpless girl. Why to take so much effort to eat it? This city's full of other ghosts! Why to obsess over this one?-!"

He gave her a level glare. "You don't know it, do you?"

"Know what?"

"This place. Mahora. It's chockfull of magical energies of all sorts. It's what we call a 'critical point'," the boy said. "If we're being impolite, we call it a Hellmouth. Full of special people, as well. But I've already said too much, and I've work to do. Bye," he turned around and walked.

"Wait! I'll help you!" she ran after him.

"Are you nuts? You'd only be a hindrance!" he shooed her away with a hand. "Go home to watch the weird talking box like you all do all day long!"

"You mean the TV."

"No, I mean your computers with loud speakers," he dryly snarked, never looking back.

"But there must be something I can help you with!" Rukia insisted. "I mean, I can't possibly just leave that girl to her fate like that-"

"Who are you, some sort of super martyr heroine of love?" he asked. "I'm already on the case! But wait, there's something you can do."

"What is it?"

He immediately poked her forehead with a finger, and she felt her limbs becoming stiff, her body falling down to the floor like a plank.

"Wha- What's this?" she struggled to even move her tongue. "What have you... done to me..."

"My old man's taught me a thing or two on medicine, including secret pressure points. Your bodies are far weaker than ours, so our techniques work with double of efficiency on them. Well, gotta go. You'd be able to move again in a few hours. Meanwhile, be a good girl and don't make too much noise. Sorry, but you're safer this way." He walked out of sight.

Rukia desperately struggled to move her body, straining herself madly. Dammit, that bleached guy was going to be even more of a dead man when she could get her hands on him...!

* * *

><p>As the boy drew closer to the door, he could feel the unmistakable presence of a Plus. Weak, soft, gentle and harmless. It shouldn't take more than a minute. Maybe he'd get back home in time to watch 'Carnivore World'...<p>

For almost any human observer, it'd have looked as if the door just opened itself, slowly creaking as it moved inside.

But Komori Kiri actually saw a weird tall boy carrying a huge blade sneaking into her classroom-living room, just as she was taking her shorts off, her butt slightly pointing up as she lowered them down her legs.

She froze solid.

For a moment, he didn't seem to notice, just looking around the room until his eyes fell onto Sayo, who was very quiet at a corner, no doubt hoping to stay undetected just like every other time anyone but Negi, Misora, Itoshiki or Rukia had ever entered in. But much to her horror, the strange young man noticed her and made a wolfish wide grin.

"Ah hah! There you are!"

With decision, he stepped quickly into the classroom, walking straight into Kiri's body, as if expecting to pass through her like thin air.

He was as shocked and scared as them when he was stopped by the slight mass of her curves, her breasts mashing against his body. His face blared red, and his hair stood up in point… among other things.

"D..." Kiri gasped, her face twitching. "Don't..." She quickly turned around, pushing her shorts back up. "_Don't look!_" she lamely finished.

"Ah, oh, err, sorry, I, um, err, that is, I saw nothing!" he stammered, quaking wildly. "I'm not even here! Yeah! I'm only a hallucination! Ghosts don't exist, and neither do I! N-Now, if you excuse me, I'll just take your ghost away and-!"

"Leave," Kiri asked, breathing deeply, tightening her blankets against her chest.

"Huh? Ah, sorry, just a sec," his hands trembled as he grabbed his sword and began approaching Sayo again, making the spirit to shrill like a banshee. "T-This won't take long! I'm just going to send you to Heaven! There, you'll know nothing but eternal pleasure!"

"HENTAI!" the ghost swung a desperate fist into his face as she bawled her eyes off. She actually packed a mean spirit punch for someone as waiflike.

"Okay, sorry, I picked the wrong words, but-!"

Before he could finish the sentence, Kiri grabbed a bottle and smashed it down on his head. "OW! That hurt! What the hell... You shouldn't even be able to touch me!"

"But you'll touch me, won't you?" Kiri panted madly, broken bottle in hand, gesturing with its sharp shattered edges like a mad drunk at a bar. "Creep! Pervert! Degenerate! Fan of eroge! Twilight fanfiction writer! I don't know why can you see Sayo-chan, but you won't ever lay a finger on her or me!"

The boy gestured with his hands in a sign of peace. "Whoa, whoa, take it easy! I really mean to send her to Heaven! It isn't right for her to wander across this world! It's time for her to pass on!"

Kiri blinked. "Passing on? You mean...?"

He nodded, still shaking bloody sharps of bottle out of his hair. "Yeah, taking the big step. I'm a Shinigami, god of death, Soul Reaper, and- Ahhh, forget it. I don't explain these things twice a night. I'll just do what I came here to do."

Before either of them could stop him, he swung the back of his sword's handle against Sayo's forehead, making a loud 'POP!' sound. He smirked, waiting for the ensuing choir of celestial music and rays of light to guide the Plus to the afterlife, sometimes, if he was unlucky, accompanied by Panty, Stocking and their creepy green dog. However, that time... NOTHING HAPPENED.

Except because the Plus took her hands to her forehead and whined. "Ouchie! Kiri-chan, the big bully's hitting me now!"

"Wait, that should've..." the boy blinked oddly before Kiri swung the broken bottle against his butt. "YEE-OWWW!"

"I warned you!" Komori growled with unusual ferocity.

"Dammit, is everyone at this damn school crazy?-!" the young man yelled.

While updating her webpage a few blocks away, Chisame tensed up. "I feel... like a soul has suddenly resonated with mine..." she mused.

Even more blocks away, a tall brown haired boy stopped his daily update of the infamous SOS Homepage and tensed as well. "This sensation! It's as if I'm not alone in the world!"

Back at Classroom 2-F, the Shinigami paced around waving his hands in the air. "I see… This is one of _those_ decades! Mom warned me there _would _be decades like this! Yeah, decades where you can't even send a weak-ass Plus to Soul Society! Oh, when Tatsuki and Renji learn about this, I'll never hear the end of it..." he sulked. "And the old man will start nagging, too..."

"Chie-sensei's psychological consultations begin at 8:30 A.M.," Kiri helpfully said, now a bit scared herself.

"I'M NOT CRAZY!" the Soul Reaper claimed.

"That'll be fixed by the time you get to her office," Kiri said.

"It's this damn place that is full with insanity!"

Then, he fell into an abrupt wide-eyed silence, stopping all motion. That feeling… How could have he missed it before? Had his senses numbed down so much?

"Get down!" he yelled, quickly grabbing Sayo and Kiri and pushing them down to the floor with himself.

Both girls screamed as they were unceremoniously grabbed, and even more when the classroom's door suddenly exploded into a million pieces blowing inside, flying over their heads. Sayo's huge eyes made their fast way to the spot where the door had been seconds before, and saw the most hideous thing she ever had witnessed, other than Kimura-sensei and that time that furry had snuck into her classroom to change.

Towering, over three meters tall, so tall its head scratched the ceiling roughly, leaving marks on it. Solid black with a tiny white head and long, clawed white limbs. A mouth armed with a thousand sharp teeth. Dead eyes devoid of any emotion but malice and hunger.

"W-W-W-What is that?!" Sayo asked.

"AH!" Kiri cried. "It's the Third Angel!"

"It's a Hollow," the boy grumbled while standing back up, getting his sword ready. "Stay put there. I'll handle this."

* * *

><p>Rukia had struggled harder to move when she saw the huge black shadow moving down the next hall, briefly passing her while ignoring her. She only managed to wiggle around like a dying trout.<p>

She continued struggling even when the thing was gone from her sight, since she was sure about where would it head to now. The explosion's sound only confirmed her absolute suspects.

Sayo-san.

Kiri-san.

"A Kuchiki is always there for a person in true need, Rukia," her brother had once told her, calmly drying her tears after the funeral. "Like I'll always be there for you when you need me."

His face was the same as always, and yet, she could notice something different in him even between her tears.

She barely knew the stupid hikikomori and the airheaded ghost.

But they needed her.

She heard the first yells.

Clenching her teeth, straining herself to her limits, she managed to move a leg.

Pushing herself beyond those limits to a point that hurt like hell, she moved her other leg.

Feeling like her whole spine was breaking, leaking copious tears of pain, she propelled herself up on stiff legs.

_I won't fail you, Oniisama. Or you, girls,_ she promised herself.

* * *

><p>The orange haired boy groaned in pain as he was slammed against a wall. He immediately rotated his left shoulder to check it still was in fighting shape, and retook a fighting stance on his feet. The Hollow towered over him, reaching with an arm to the door so the girls wouldn't escape through it.<p>

Sayo, instead, dragged Kiri towards one of the windows. "Over here, Kiri-chan, quick!" she urged.

The pale shut-in stopped breathing for a moment while watching the ghastly huge, dizzingly wide, world beyond the wall. "I-I-I can't go out there! It... It isn't safe..." she whimpered, backing away.

"Kiri-chan, it's even more dangerous here!" Sayo grabbed her hand and floated out, trying to pull her with herself.

"No! I won't! Inside... I need to be inside..." she babbled. "I can't be outside. It's dangerous, it's stunning, it's horrible and awful..." she whined, cowering back into a corner.

"But Kiri-chan...!" Sayo pleaded.

"And besides, we're in a third floor and there are no escape stairs there," the human girl added.

The ghost scratched her head in a sheepish way. "Ahhhh, sorry, I forgot you couldn't fly..."

Kiri pushed her back with a hand. "You must escape, however!"

"No, not without you!" Sayo insisted, tackling her in a hug.

Meanwhile, the swordsman swung again, cutting the Hollow in a flank, pushing it a few feet back. However, coming so close gave the thing an opening to grab him by the head and bash him down against the floor.

_What a huge power!_ the boy inwardly cursed. _How couldn't I feel this bastard getting close before? I-_

Then Sayo's newest scream distracted him for a moment just as he was standing back up.

"KUCHIKI-SAN!"

"What...?" he muttered.

After the Hollow had been pushed back and its arm had left the door, the scrawny black haired girl had appeared at its frame, panting heavily.

"What the hell are you doing here, stupid girl?!" he growled, but before anything else could be said or done, the Hollow swung a titanic claw aside and trapped Sayo in it, firmly squeezing her, making her to scream.

"SAYO-CHAN, NO!" Kiri yelled, jumping back to her feet.

"Stop, stop, please!" the female spirit cried, squirming in its steel grasp. "You're hurting me! It hurts a lot!"

"Aisaka-san!" Rukia breathed out.

"Take the other idiot and get outta here!" the swordsman commanded, rushing ahead and taking advantage of the Hollow's momentary distraction to get under its body, chopping its right leg off in a single, precise motion. The beast howled madly, but didn't let its prey go, stumbling ahead and managing to keep its balance on one foot, kicking the boy up with its stump, black blood spraying everywhere.

Her legs still feeling as if they were made of wood, Rukia hopped her way to Kiri, forcefully grabbed her by an arm, and began pulling her back towards the door.

"But Sayo-chan...!" the hikikomori pointed out.

Rukia hesitated. It was true, after all. The big monster had pinned the freaky boy to the floor with its remaining foot as it hung the helpless Sayo over its huge open mouth, slowly lowering her towards its fangs despite her shrill screams of panic.

Stopping in place, the short haired girl grabbed an eraser and tossed it up with amazing accuracy at the Hollow's head. "Hey, you! Let that poor girl go, or else...!"

It stopped what it was doing, making a muffled sound and looking at Rukia with mild annoyance. Then it seemed to study her, briefly sniffing the air, briefly, seemingly forgetting about Sayo. Although never stopping holding her, it lunged ahead for Rukia instead of outright devouring the ghost.

With a loud gasp and a mental-slap for her rash action that would have done Chisame proud, Rukia couldn't do anything but stand in place, pushing Kiri aside to relative safety. And then, in a flash of black, white and orange, before the Hollow could reach her, she saw the Shinigami hopping up to put himself between them, the Hollow's mouth sharply biting into his right shoulder, causing an explosion of blood to splatter in all directions.

"SHINIGAMI-KUN!" Kuchiki yelled.

Then she saw he also had thrust his sword deep into the Hollow's stomach, making it to yowl in agony and to release Sayo, who quickly floated down to Komori's side. As the beast recoiled, holding itself up, emitting a sinister symphony of gurgling hoarse sounds, the wounded boy crawled back against a wall, bathed in his own blood, panting and gasping.

"Idiot..." he told Rukia.

Rukia knelt down next to him, holding his left hand. "Hold on there! Don't die... if you can die again, that is... I mean, we gotta get you out of here! Komori, help me to lift him up, quick!"

"No time for that. The SOB will just catch us before we can get to the end of the hall..." He looked at the still pained and howling, but quickly recovering, creature. "Woman, tell me! Do you really want to save this people?"

"What? Do you mean me?" Rukia quickly said. "O-Of course I want, but-"

"How long have you known them?" he curtly asked, coughing loudly.

"I just met them tonight, but-" she was interrupted by him again.

"You sure you want to do it, then?"

"Yes, I do! You don't need to be close friends with someone to want preventing them suffering!" she claimed. "If I can do something, just tell me already!"

He held his sword shakily up at her. "I can't... fight on now. You have lots of spiritual power, and you're less of a moron than the pale exhibitionist with the cute-"

"Hey...!" Kiri protested. "You _did_ see, you pervert!"

"—HAIR!" he indignantly finished.

"Yeah, sure," Kiri pouted.

Ignoring her, the Shinigami told Rukia, icily, "Sink this sword into your heart, and I'll transfer my powers into you."

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Sayo and Kiri said at once.

But Rukia only looked thoughtful. "Can it really work?"

"I don't know," he confessed. "I've never tried it before. The legends say it can be done, but it's kind of a taboo even trying..."

"Don't do it, Kuchiki-san!" Sayo pleaded.

"It's suicidal! And you aren't Itoshiki-sensei!" Kiri added. "Besides, that 'sticking a sword into you for power'-thing sounds like some kind of macho-sexist symbolism for sex and being dominated by the male phallus to realize your own innate feminine potential as a willing subordinate of the patriarchal system!"

They all stared at her.

"What? I _do _pay a little attention to Itoshiki-sensei's classes. And that Yue-chan from Negi-sensei's class leaves me some books to read… hmm, Yue-chan…"

Then the Hollow roared, standing straight and strong again, and gave a stomping hop ahead, then another, heading their way. Rukia's eyes grew narrower. She put a hand on the sword's hilt.

"Please let me try, Shinigami-san," she humbly asked.

He smirked. "My name's Ichigo. Kurosaki Ichigo."

She half-smiled back. "Kuchiki Rukia."

And she pushed the blade inside of her own chest.

"See? Totally phallic!" Kiri said.

Sayo attempted to fly to her, to stop her before she could waste her life, but she was too late. By the time she got there, it was done, and an intense yellow light filled the whole classroom. Along with it, a powerful invisible force sent her and Kiri crashing back against their corner. When they regained her eyesight moments after that, they saw the Soul Reaper now wearing a very simple ensemble of thin white shirt and pants, his feet bare, his wound largely healed but still very visible.

And Rukia stood between him and the Hollow, now wearing an exact copy of the Shinigami's outfit, complete to the sandals. The sword in her hands had changed to a much smaller one, surrounded by a thin but noticeable icy blueish aura.

Rukia briefly gulped before facing the monster with an even glare. "I'll be your enemy now, Hollow-san. Unless you want to escape now. I won't stop you if you try to do-"

The Hollow just charged ahead again like a mad animal.

Rukia sighed, running ahead as well, silently praying for the best. The evil spirit clawed for her, but her small size saved her. Ducking under the claw, she made a desperate jump for its remaining knee, swinging the sword into it. Much to her own shock, it cut like a knife through butter, slicing the leg cleanly off. The Hollow fell down on its back, still clawing madly above, until Rukia drew in a lot of breath and simply sank the sword into its chest, stabbing it using both hands before ripping through it, literally splitting it by half.

With a final deafening scream, the Hollow exploded into a million black sparks that soon dissipated into nothingness, just as the souls it had devoured, dozens and dozens of pale, translucid ghosts, were freed and vanished away floating up and through the roof, much to Sayo and Kiri's open-mouthed awe.

"At least, the creepy sisters didn't show up this time..." Ichigo sighed, standing up with a lot of effort, his eyes falling into the panting, exhausted Kuchiki. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yes," she erratically nodded.

"You are a real bother," he facepalmed. "I only intended to give you half of my power, but you took almost all of it! Man, I'm going to be chewed out about this."

"Sorry," she humbly offered him the sword back. "You can take it back now..."

"I'd like to, but I can't," he rejected it. "I must wait until my powers return on their own."

"Kuchiki-san...!" Sayo tackled the heroic girl in a tight hug, kissing her right cheek loudly. "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I was so scared! You saved my life! I mean, my death! I mean, my post-life!"

"After-life," Ichigo corrected helpfully.

"Thanks, indeed," Kiri bowed. "I'm sorry to have caused you so many problems. To you too, Kurosaki-san."

"Forget it..." he mumbled. "You're welcome..."

Rukia blinked and shook the still kissing Sayo off. "Welcome? Oh no! My Onii-sama! He must have gotten home by now! What time is it? What time is it? It's late! And I'm late, too!"

* * *

><p>Around one hour later, she stood at her house's doorstep, timidly facing the tall and stern figure of her brother, who looked down at her with an expressionless face scarier than any Hollow's.<p>

"Rukia," Byakuya slowly began, "I do hope you have a good explanation for this..."

"Ehhhh..." she lifted a finger up before drooping down. "... No. Actually, I don't."

* * *

><p>The next morning, Komori was similarly wordless as the rest of her class and Itoshiki-sensei stood before her, looking at the wrecked classroom with wide eyes and mute mouths.<p>

"I was... cooking my dinner, and I had a little accident with the stove..." the shut-in shyly held a broken teapot up.

Nozomu looked at her, then at the embarrassed Sayo cowering at a corner from his eyes. He sighed and patted Kiri on a shoulder. "I'll have to tell your parents about this..."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, at High School Class 1-C, Rukia groaned, slamming her face down against her desk.<p>

"And your brother punished you just for that?" Chizuru asked, suggestively leaning on the seat next to hers. "Poor thing. All girls should have a right to have fun at night. Let me comfort you with a tender, soft, loving-"

Without even looking at her, her face still buried in her desk, Rukia simply planted a fist on her face.

"Girls, play nice..." Orihime softly asked from the seat behind Rukia's, just as Jinroku-sensei entered the classroom.

"Ahem!" the old balding man adjusted his glasses. "Good morning, class. Sorry about the lateness, but I was talking with Konoemon-sensei. Starting today, we'll have a new, transfer student at our class. Please welcome Kurosaki Ichigo-kun."

Rukia tensed up in terror at the mention of the name, springing up to look at the newcomer grumpily showing up right behind the teacher. Chizuru had just made a disgusted face at the sight of a new boy, and Orihime had started staring at him with an impressed, nearly star-struck face. Ichida had simply scowled as if seeing a devil in their midst, and Chad's non-expression was the same as always.

"Hello," the new boy grumbled, holding a few sheets full with ugly doodles up. "Um, I found this before getting here, and... someone told me they belonged to one of you. I kinda doubt it, since my little sisters draw better than this, but I still wanted to ask..."

Rukia bit her tongue before it could betray her in an explosion of curses.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	10. The Truth of that Snowy Day

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>The Truth of that Snowy Day<strong>.

* * *

><p>As usual, Chisame was the first one to wake up. This time, Negi had snuck into her bed instead of Hakase's, to which she only replied with a resigned sigh. Much to her own jaded horror about her lack of active horror, she just didn't care anymore. The night had been very cold anyway, and she guessed he had helped her to get warmer, as well.<p>

And besides, it'd have been plain nasty to kick a child to the floor on Christmas morning, anyway.

As she sat up rubbing her eyes and yawned, he stirred up and half opened his eyes. "Good morning..."

She made a small smile at him. "Good morning. And Merry Christmas."

The boy seemed to instinctively pout for a moment. "Oh, um, Merry Christmas," he half-heartedly replied, tilting his head on the pillow. He tightened the sheets against himself.

Chisame gave him a curious look. "What's wrong with you? You haven't been the same ever since this season started. I thought you were just nervous about this day, but now it's come—"

"I... I'm okay, really," he muttered, somewhat embarrassed.

After a brief moment of doubt about what she was about to do, she ran a hand through his hair. "I hate being lied to. So confess up before I just force the truth out of you," she threatened gently.

"Why should I be different today?" he said, still pretended everything was the same. "It's a day like any other, after all..."

"Don't say that!" Chisame said. "What kind of kid doesn't get happy at Christmas? I could buy it from a Japanese one, but you're a foreigner, and Christmas' huge over there! Aren't you antsy to see what will Santa Claus bring you?"

Negi's lower lip trembled. "Everyone knows Santa Claus doesn't exist."

Chisame's mouth hung open.

From the lower bunk, however, Satomi whistled in appreciation. "Sensei, that's admirable! It's good to see someone of your age being wise to those banal and baseless mass market fantasies."

"When did you wake up? Shouldn't you stay asleep until 10:00 A.M. at free days?" Chisame told her. "And why are you breaking a child's right to have a normal Christmas? Don't you know you could give him a trauma?"

Hakase looked cluelessly at her. "I thought you were against that kind of celebrations. You never cared about Christmas before..."

"That was before we had a kid here!" Chisame clenched her teeth.

"What's the problem with it? My parents never attempted to fool me with that Santa Claus fabrication, and I grew up fine..." the mad genius countered, sitting up on the bed, her bare feet brushing against all the spare parts littering the floor around her.

"I'm not going to point out all the flaws in that statement," Chisame deadpanned. "What matters is, Christmas is supposed to be for kids to enjoy themselves!" She turned her eyes back to Negi. "And no matter how much you try to deny it, you're still a brat, so you'd better drop the pretenses and start enjoying yourself! I didn't take the effort to decorate the whole dorm for nothing!"

"Sorry, Chisame-san," he sheepishly lowered his head. "But I— I, um, we'll continue talking about this later. I have to, err, go take a shower."

He quickly dropped down to the floor and all but dashed for the shower stall, closing its door behind himself.

Chisame and Satomi stared on his direction with shocked expressions and huge eyes.

"He went to take a bath!" Hakase said.

"All by himself!" Hasegawa said.

"Without being told to!" Hakase completed.

They looked out the window, but the sky was still its normal color for its time of day. Well, it wasn't the end of the world, at least.

Chisame rushed down to floor level, stomped over to the drawers, and violently jerked Chamo's one open. She rummaged through the stashed underwear, her hand looking for Chamo, finally catching him despite his attempts to squirm away. "Okay, wise-guy!" she told him. "No way this is normal behavior for him, so you'd better tell us why he of all people is a vulgar cheap Scrooge, or else you're going to become the Ghost of Christmas Past!"

"Jacob Marley," Hakase corrected. Chisame stared at her and the genius shrugged. "I listen to the non-science class discussions too."

"Th-Th-The Bro doesn't like it when I talk about this...!" the ermine weakly pleaded.

"And _I_ don't like it when you don't talk about this!" she shook him around two times. "Decide, which one of us do you fear more?"

"Well, since you put it that way..." Chamo gulped. "Fine, fine, there isn't any need to get so pushy. I'll tell you." He lowered his voice, gesturing for them to get away from the shower's door. Silently, both girls obeyed. "You know the real reason why the Bro likes to sleep with you girls, don't you?"

"Incoming hormonal change and the onset of his primal reproductive urges?" Satomi guessed. Chisame gave her a knock in the head. "... What? Hadn't you always assumed the same thing?"

Chamo sighed. "Doesn't he often make strange whimpering sounds while sleeping?"

"I don't know. I'm too much of a heavy sleeper," Hakase admitted.

"He does. All the time," Hasegawa understood far better. "Does he suffer from nightmares? I suspected it for a while, but he's always so cheerful, I ended up forgetting about it..."

"The Bro always puts a happy face no matter what, but..." Chamo drooped down sadly, "He has a good reason to dislike this date. He and his Sister didn't always live at Merdiana. They used to live at another, smaller town at the mountains... until a Christmas night a few years ago..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude- Chachazero's Christmas<strong>_**.**

Locked up alone in the huge, rusty, smelly and discarded metal locker at the back of the Master's cottage.

Surrounded by nothing by darkness, the iron maiden, the nine tails whip, six knives, some rats and a guillotine, the soundtrack of the Saw movies playing in the background.

Chachazero sniffed. She had just woken up there; the last thing she remembered was being smashed against a wall by the Master, no reason given. Oh, the Master. She had such a glorious and loving black heart...

"She remembered..." the doll warmly mused, moving her arms around to confirm the concentration of magic in the locker was just high enough. Then, a low throaty chuckle as her hand reached for the first knife.

She hadn't killed anything in such a long time...

Maybe the Master would give her a human toy as well next year, if she was good.

* * *

><p>By the time Negi got out of the shower, with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair a still soapy mess falling over his face, he found Chisame and Hakase uneasily standing there, each one with a gift package between their hands. "Huh?" He blinked several times. "Oh, girls... don't tell me..."<p>

"Well, we were going to tell you Santa had left them for you, but I guess there's no point on saying that now, right?" Hasegawa rolled her eyes, placing her package in his hands. "Here, never say I don't do anything for you..."

"I'd never say that..." he softly said before starting to unwrap it, his towel slipping ever so slightly. He pulled a pair of ice skates out of it. "Skates? I'd never have guessed it..."

"Well..." the girl rasped, "I noticed you didn't seem to have any, and we still have a lot of the winter season ahead, so I thought, maybe you'd like to try that. You always are trying to get into new things..." she uneasily said.

He smiled, very cutely. "Thank you. I never had given any serious thought, but I'd love to learn."

"Gee. That's nice. I guess..." she briefly nodded.

"Mine," Hakase handed him her package.

"Let's see..." the boy opened it up just as quickly, his towel slipping even more. He pulled a huge, thick and heavy hardcover book out, straining himself to lift it up. "Mechanics of Aerodynamics and Jet Propulsion for Dummies?"

Satomi nodded proudly. "Indeed! I have noticed we don't have a lot of common fields of interests. Well, now I have started dabbling into magic thanks to you, I figured it'd only be fair if I gave you a hand with my own expertise. I have just self-edited this tome through the University's in-school publishing house; the copy you're holding is the first one out of the presses. Do you like it?"

"Very..." he nodded while flipping through the first few pages. Truth be told, he barely could understand anything from the prologue alone. "Very... illuminating. I'll treasure it."

"Thanks," Satomi said with a small, awkward but honest, smile.

"Oh! I had forgotten. I have some gifts for you, too," Negi ran to his futon– and that was when he towel finally fell off. Chisame and Hakase stared, blushing.

He yelped as he finally noticed, and turned his run for the futon into a roll to grab it and wrap it around him. He fumbled for his bags next to his sleeping mat one-handed as he kept his blankets closed around him and pulled a few packages from the bags next to it. He held one out to each girl. "It isn't too much, but I hope it makes you happy..."

Chisame stared at the sheet. The _white_ sheet, which was slowly being made transparent by dripping water. She grabbed some of his clothes and threw it at him. "Get dressed first, you idiot!"

"Fascinating…" Hakase said, slightly dazed. "Cold water seems to have no effect…"

When Negi was finally dressed properly, he handed them the gifts. Chisame unwrapped hers first. It was a mouse and pad set fully painted in pink and decorated with Chiu motifs. "How did you get this...?"

He blushed, looking away. "W-Well... I had no idea of what to get you, so I went to your webpage for ideas… of… what could you like... I figured you didn't have anything on the outside of your computer to match its inside, so I asked Chamo's help to select a few images of you and print them to decorate the set..." His voice became smaller and more shy. "You aren't angry, are you?"

For a few dreadful moments, she remained expressionless and grimly silent, until finally, a smile curved itself, very slowly, on her lips. "No. I'm not angry. Thank you."

He smiled back, filled with relief. "M-My pleasure!"

Hakase looked doubtfully at her gift. "A book on magic...?"

"Well..." Negi sheepishly said, holding his own book up. "Looks like we had the same idea... I couldn't think of anything related to science I could give you that you wouldn't already have, so I chose to give you something to expand your knowledge of another venue..."

Hakase laughed bashfully while flipping through her book's prologue, not getting a single word of the mystic mumbo-jumbo. "It's... very... colorful. Thanks a lot. Looks like we aren't so different after all..."

"Yes, all in all we do have things in common, don't we...?" Negi laughed in the same tone.

Chisame didn't keep herself from frowning a bit, looking back and forth between them, until Negi perked up again. "Oh! I forgot! Chamo, I have a gift for you, too!"

"For me?-!" the ermine jumped. "Ooohhh, thanks, Bro! You're an angel! What is it? What is it?"

"Um," Negi began, "To be frank, I don't know."

Chamo stopped jumping. "You don't?"

"Sorry," the child said. "I didn't know what to get you, so I asked Takamichi for advice. He told me he'd get you something you'd like, but that I shouldn't see it." He handed Chamo a package that seemingly had a thick bunch of magazines inside. "Here. He told me to tell you to open it out of my sight..."

Chamo's eyes sparkled. "Oh, I will!" With strength that belied his stature as a small animal, he ran to the bathroom carrying the package himself. The door slammed closed behind him, and moments later, a scream of "THANK YOU, TAKAMICHI!" filled the room.

Chisame grimaced. "... Well. That aside, it's good to see you aren't as insensitive to Christmas as we thought, Sensei."

He blushed. "Oh, it's just I find the exact date a bit... uncomfortable. I... have my reasons. Sorry if I overreacted about it. But I always can get behind the idea of showing your loved ones you do care about them."

At the mention of the 'loved ones' words, both girls immediately froze in place.

"What?" Negi blinked a few times. "Have I... Have I said something bad?"

"No... Not at all..." Chisame nervously took her glasses off and began to wipe them in circles. "Never mind..."

One of these days, she would have to see a therapist about these stupid heart beat increases she was having lately. Or perhaps a cardiologist. She surely was ill or something…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude – Zazie's Christmas.<strong>_

Sitting alone at her room.

Surrounded only by pet birds.

Juggling colorful balls just plucked from the Christmas tree.

She couldn't be any happier.

* * *

><p>"So, um, where's Negi-kun right now?" Misora asked as Chisame and Hakase sat down next to Cocone and her at the church's front steps. The early Christmas ceremonies had been over one hour ago, before the boy's roommates arrived, and now they had the whole place to themselves.<p>

"He went to send a letter to his sister," Hasegawa replied. "Better that way. I'd prefer to discuss this without him, actually."

"Shouldn't we wait for Kakizaki-san to arrive before we start?" Satomi questioned.

"Forget it!" Misora waved a hand around. "That girl always is late, everywhere. It takes her a full hour to put enough makeup on, before going to the dentist. I should know; she sings at the choir, and Sister Shakti always has to scold her over it."

"Right. I'd like to talk about her, actually, " Chisame nodded. "Do you think she's really ready?"

"For what?" Kasuga asked.

"Remember what Eva said at the bridge?!" Chisame reminded her. "About how Sensei would always have enemies striking at everyone around him. I don't think she was joking. I'm not sure if _we_ can handle it, much less Kakizaki."

"Oh, that?" Misora shrugged casually. "I doubt any enemy Negi-kun may have can be worse than Eva-chin, or they'd have killed him already!"

"They came close once, actually. Chamo told us early today that, well..." Chisame lowered her voice confidentially, "He doesn't know the full details either, but several years ago, on Christmas Night, a horde of demons attacked his old hometown and slaughtered several villagers. Even Negi's sister barely survived. Based on Eva's comments, I think they may have been after him."

"I still don't think we should apply such a term as 'demons', " Hakase muttered, crossing her arms. "For all we know, they only were entities of an alien origin. The short hand resource of applying Judeo-Christian terminology to them is plain lazy..."

Misora's face had gone as white as paper. "... Demons?!"

"Haven't you ever seen a demon in your life?" Chisame asked her.

"Never! And I don't want to!" Kasuga stated categorically.

"Sister Sanada once brought a baby demon she exterminated, preserved in an alcohol bottle," Cocone reminisced. "Even dead, it was... scary."

"I refused to see it," Misora shuddered.

"Anyway, what will we ever do if we have to fight something like that?" Chisame wondered.

Misora groaned reluctantly. "I dunno... I guess we can't back away now, can we?"

"I don't want to," Hakase answered.

"Me neither," Cocone simply said.

"Well, talking is easy, but what will we do if faced with such a thing?" Chisame insisted. "At the end, even Evangeline held herself back, but a creature like a demon..."

Misora grimaced. "I vote for us to stop talking about demons until Christmas is over."

Cocone only nodded.

"I concur as well, and I don't even like Christmas," Hakase agreed.

"Fine," Chisame sighed, her shoulders drooping. "You win." But in truth, deep inside, she just was glad to get confirmation she wouldn't have to do it alone.

To change the subject, Misora chuckled and elbowed the youngest of the group in the ribs. "By the way, Cocone-chan, now we all have a Pactio with Negi-kun but you! Why don't you try it too?"

"I want to be a Magistra, not a Ministra," the little girl answered, very seriously.

"What the hell, Kasuga?" Chisame reprimanded her. "Why do you try to rope children into kissing each other? What kind of Christian morals are those? Wait, are you even actually a Catholic? I've heard how nuns aren't the same thing as mikos…"

"I was just joking!" the sprinter rolled her eyes. "You don't have to get jealous..."

"Who said I'm jealous, and why should I be?!" Chisame was all but in her face now.

"Not even because of Kakizaki?" Kasuga asked. "I mean, she's far prettier than all of us put together..."

"Wh-What does that have to do with anything?" the hacker jerked back.

"Well, we do have to admit she's naturally elegant and sophisticated..." Satomi mused.

"And unlike us, very popular..." Misora drooped.

"Outgoing and extroverted..." Hakase added.

"Horny, you mean," Chisame said.

"Pretty eyes," Cocone opined.

"Worldly and bold..." Kasuga groaned.

Chisame's mood had expressed itself on the shape of twin black swirls around her. It was true. Kakizaki was pretty much all Chiu ever played to be, but without any need for lies and Photoshop...

"Assuming we ever competed for the same boy, we just couldn't compare..." Misora lamented.

"Y-Yes. If such were ever the case..." Hakase hesitated.

"..." Chisame said.

"..." Cocone said.

The skinny apprentice, the geeky inventor, the pimply-faced hacker and the kid remained still for a few moments in deep self contemplation until a musical, happy voice rang aloud. "Yoo-hooooo! Girls! I'm here!"

The four of them coldly stared at the newcomer. "...Hello, Kakizaki," they said.

"Why so gloomy? Today's Christmas! Geez, don't tell me you made me to come here only to depress me with those long faces," Misa stopped right before them, fixing her colorful scarf up a bit. "Coco-chan! What did Santa bring you?"

"Socks," the child flatly said.

Misa's faced betrayed disappointment. "Socks?"

"W-Well, you sure need them!" Misora awkwardly rasped. "You're always running around barefoot everywhere when we aren't in the habit, and that's just unladylike!"

"Since when do you give any lessons on femininity?" Chisame noted.

"I have noticed Santa's a lot cheaper since I moved in with Misora," Cocone quietly observed.

"Actually, there's a good explanation for that—" Hakase began.

But her three classmates all bopped her in the head before she could even actually finish the sentence.

* * *

><p>"Man, Christmas sure came all of a sudden this year," Asuna observed in a grumpy tone, while lazily brooming the floors of the dorm she shared with Konoe Konoka. "How did it happen? I'd swear it was February a few weeks ago..."<p>

From the kitchen, where she was cooking a large pot of steaming soup and happily chopping vegetables with expert movements, wearing pink slippers and a 'Piyo Piyo' apron, Konoka giggled. "They say time flies by when you're happy and at home!"

"Yeah, but I can say this evening will be awfully slow," her redheaded friend complained. "I did my best to forget, so can you remind me again how many of them you invited?"

"Well," Konoka began, "Negi-kun, of course, and Chisame-chan and Prof-chan. Then there's Set-chan, and the librarians, and the cheerleaders. Iincho and Itoshiki-sensei, and Kaede and the twins. Misora seems very close to Negi-kun lately, so I invited her, too. Everyone else seemed to have prior commitments."

"Too many as it is!" Asuna cried. "We'll be overcrowded!"

"Do you think Iinchou will come?" Konoka asked, somewhat concerned.

"If the brat's here, she'll come, no matter what she thinks of me," Asuna grumbled. "And why did you have to invite Despair-sensei over? He's a drag! He'll ruin the whole mood! Why not invite Takahata-sensei instead?"

"Grandpa sent Takahata-sensei out on an urgent errand tonight, remember?" Konoka innocently offered. "And Itoshiki-sensei is always so alone and sad, I figured he'd need some company to cheer him up".

Asuna pouted, leaning ahead on the top of her broomstick, arms crossed under her chin. "It's too unfair! I'm in despair! Takahata-sensei not being here has left me in despair!"

Konoka giggled again. "But Itoshiki-sensei is an older man, too! I thought you liked those!"

"I like elegant and mature men with rugged sex appeal and that aged Sean Connery look!" her longtime friend scowled. "Despair-sensei has none of the above!"

Konoka just smiled fondly at her. "You're always so funny when you get steamed up, Asuna!"

"Yeah, I'm a barrel of Ho-Ho-Hos," she snorted. Right before smiling back anyway.

* * *

><p>"So, what did you guys want to talk about?" Misa sat down next to them, casually stretching her legs.<p>

"About everything Eva said at the bridge," Chisame repeated. "About how Negi would have many enemies looking for him, and we should either quit now or get ready to keep protecting him. Have you thought about it?"

The cheerleader scratched her head. "Nah, not really."

"What a surprise," Chisame deadpanned.

"I think she was just bluffing," Kakizaki explained. "Trying to scare us. But yeah, even if worst comes to push, I think I'll keep on fighting for Negi-kun."

"You sound awfully sure about that," Misora distrusted. "You sure you know exactly what are you really saying?"

Misa scoffed. "What do you think I am, a baby? No offense, Cocone-chan."

"None taken." The child's expression kept remained blank.

"And why are you so protective of someone you barely know?" Chisame questioned.

Misa smiled again. "Because I want to get to know him better, of course. I like him."

The three other 2-A members recoiled at such a casual confession. Cocone didn't even blink.

"You... 'like' him?" Chisame questioned.

"Yes, I do," Misa mused happily. "At first I just thought he was cute, but now I think he's totally wonderful. He's brave, smart, honest and loyal. Polite and charming, generous and understanding. He can take orders, he doesn't speak out of line. In other words, the perfect man!"

"Perfect brat, you mean!" Chisame snarled. "And I thought Iincho was bad, but you're even more shameless!"

Misa shook a finger. "_Wroooong_! Unlike Iinchou, I don't like him because he's a kid! I like him despite him being a kid, because he has the virtues that will make a wonderful man! Do you think he'll be a Chibi forever? In only a few years, he'll grow up to be a young man, tall like all foreigners, with a good salary already secured! All I have to do is to get him to like me back from now, and he'll be fixated on me for all his adult life, too! It's the principle of imprinting! I saw it once on National Geographic!"

"You compare a growing boy with a chick coming out of the egg? Seriously?" Chisame grimaced.

"I'm pretty sure that's called child grooming and highly illegal," Hakase said.

"We're all animals deep inside!" Misa declared.

"Well, _you_ are, obviously," Chisame said.

"And there's no one better to tame that little bird than me!" Misa continued as if she hadn't said anything. "Yeah, in a few years, I'll have the best boyfriend you can get in this town! Oh, the wonderful fruits of patient work!" She stood up, perched her hands on her hips and laughed.

"My God, she's the reincarnation of Genji Hikaru!" Misora made a disgusted face.

_"Not only does she have the edge over you three... but unlike you, she's actually willing to do it, too..."_ Cocone flatly whispered.

Misora pinched her in a shoulder, making her to whimper and sob in tiny breaths. "Keep saying that nonsense and I'll fill your socks with coal, then force you walk with them on!"

* * *

><p>The five girls remained silent for a few moments, sitting together watching the horizon. After the uncomfortable topic of Negi as a possible future pairing had been brought up, pretty much everyone but Misa had seemed to have hit a sudden communication block, and Misa herself just seemed to be waiting for someone to break the silence, for once. Until she apparently got sick of it and simply asked,<p>

"So, in this time of hopes for the future and stuff... Mind if I ask you what do you wanna do in your futures?"

Hakase perked up, her glasses glinting. "Naturally, I aim to occupy a spot in the eternal halls of scientific glory," she exposed. "Ah, for the golden day my accomplishments are put next to those of Bolivar Trask! Lorelei Geitlin! Earl Lloyd Asplund! Thomas Oscar Morrow!"

"Victor Von Frankenstein!" Chisame intervened.

Her roommate gave her an annoyed glare. "I'm being serious, Chisame."

The other girl shrugged. "So am I."

Misa laughed. "Oh, I never thought I'd say this, but you two are a riot! How about you, Misora?"

"Me?" the young sister blinked. "Ahhh, I dunno. I haven't stopped to plan it all through yet. Why to hurry? Still, for now, I'd like nothing better than getting a lot of recognition at the Order. To be respected, you know? So Sister Shakti and Sister Sanada and even Father Garterbelt have to clap their hands at me when I graduate, AND LIKE IT! Honestly, the way they keep telling me I'd better not disappoint them after all the time and effort they have invested on me EACH FREAKING TIME they call-!"

"... Father Garterbelt?" Misa and Chisame said at the same time.

"He's huge, scary and loud, so we tend to avoid making public comments on his name," Kasuga offered.

Cocone nodded stoically.

"And if you ever meet him, never ask him about his hair," Misora warned.

_"God, no,"_ Cocone whispered.

"Anyway, after that's done..." Misora carelessly crossed her legs, "I want to retire with a name made for myself, hang the habit, marry and have kids."

Chisame huffed. "Should've known you wouldn't have the devotion needed for the nun job."

"Give me a break!" Misora protested. "It's a very hard life! I was allured by fake promises! I thought it'd be easier than a normal magical academy! But they lied! Not only do they make me to study magic, but to take normal classes, too, and clean the church to boot! Aaarrghhh, when I find the pig who always sticks obscene messages for me with gum behind the head of St. Paul, I'll send him straight to the Sixth Circle of Hell! No, worse! I'll seal his soul into a toilet!"

"Misora is popular with our congregation's younger members," Cocone calmly explained. "Sometimes, they even follow her to the track to watch her in those short shorts, sweating and-"

Chisame stopped her, gently placing a finger on her mouth. "Please. On a day like this, I'd like to keep some last vestige of faith in the innocence of childhood."

"And you, Coco-chan?" Misa put a hand on her right shoulder. "What are your dreams for the future?"

"I want..." the child breathed reverently, lifting her even, quiet gaze up to the sky, slowly, "I want to be a Magistra Magi to make my family proud."

"That sounds very commendable," Misa admitted.

"Thank you," the little girl nodded a bit.

"And you, Chisame-chan?" the cheerleader grinned perversely.

"That's no business of yours!" the hacker snapped.

"Ooo, touchy! I'd bet it's a very big, very scandalous dream, then!" Misa teased. "What, you want to become a supermodel?"

"It's nothing of the sort!" Hasegawa defended herself.

"Hey, Prof, what is it?" Misa asked Satomi. "You must know, right?"

"Don't tell her anything!" Chisame all but screamed.

Hakase blinked. "Tell her about what? You've never told me about your dreams, either..."

"For real?" Misa turned disapproving eyes to Chisame. "What a bad roommate you are, Chisame-chan... You shouldn't have secrets with those you share a room with..."

"That's my business," Hasegawa looked aside.

Kakizaki smiled again. "You haven't decided on anything yet, have you?"

"Wh-What if I haven't?" Chisame sputtered.

Misa reached over and pushed a stray lock of brown hair off her face. _"A girl as pretty as you could have any future she strived for..."_ she whispered."_You only need to trust yourself more..."_

Chisame backed away in alarm. "D-Don't joke with me like that!"

Misa poked the tip of her tongue out. "Ohh, partypooper! But really, I'm not joking! Just do something about those zits and that horrible wardrobe of yours, and you'll be able to knock anyone's socks off!"

Hakase nodded. "As a matter of fact, when she-"

The murderous glare Chisame shot her immediately reminded her Misa wasn't in on the secret of Chiu yet.

The cheerleader paused for a moment waiting for Hakase to finish the sentence. When it didn't happen, she briefly gave Chisame a questioning glare, but it only was met with another pretension of ignorance. Misa sighed and realized she wouldn't get anything that way.

Kakizaki, instead, stretched her arms up. "As for me, I wish to become a superstar. Singer, actress, model, the whole package."

"That doesn't come as a surprise," Chisame said, recovering part of her usual snarkiness.

Misa's smile widened. "But above it all, as of now, I wish for Negi-kun."

"Again with that," Chisame muttered.

Misa opened her arms, willing to raise the stakes now. Loudly, she announced, "That's why tonight, at Konoka's party, I'm going to take him under the mistletoe and kiss him before everyone! That way, I'm going to make clear I have absolute dibs on him!"

Misora, Chisame and Hakase all looked at her with complete and utter terror. Even Cocone's expression had, finally, changed, to one of slight curiosity.

Kakizaki smirked and blinked an eye at them. "Unless, of course, anyone wants to get there first..."

* * *

><p>Sakurazaki Setsuna paused uncomfortably before the apartment's door, pondering her choices.<p>

She very well could simply turn and leave. She could call afterwards and excuse herself. Saying she caught a cold. Yes, that could work. It was a cold day, after all.

Then again, perhaps Ojou-sama would need closer vigilance this evening, she told herself. Violent groups and the mentally unbalanced often chose such festivities to strike, and Mahora offered no shortage of the latter, at the very least.

The young swordswoman hummed softly to herself, scowling and tapping a foot on the floor. Choices, choices. Both being too far and being too close were definite no-nos. Perhaps she could hide between the branches of a nearby tree and watch through the window. But what about when Ojou-sama walked into the kitchen? Ah! She needed to wire that apartment! She could ask Hakase for help... one of those secret video surveillance systems... with infrared capability so she could see when the lights were off… and recording equipment… and she should probably wire the bathroom too, so that she'd be able to watch Ojou-sama there… you know, in case someone kidnapped her while she was in the shower…

Then she found herself face to face with a sharp, bright green eye and a blue one. The door had just been opened from the inside, and Asuna had just stepped out to unwittingly shatter Setsuna's Watergate dreams.

"Ah! G-Good afternoon!" Sakurazaki composed herself quickly, bowing formally. "I... I hope I'm not showing too early..."

"Only by two hours," Asuna dryly stated. "But never mind, get inside. Konoka'll be happy to see you actually made it..." Then she frowned. "Sakurazaki-san, your nose is bleeding."

"Is it?" Setsuna said, hastily wiping the blood away. "It must be the cold."

"Set-chan?" a happy, cheerful, wonderful voice rang from deep within the apartment, growing closer fast as Konoka ran to greet her childhood friend with a hug. "Oh, Set-chan, you really came! And before anyone else, too!"

"G-Good afternoon, Oj-Konoe-san," she awkwardly stammered, fighting herself to remain her usual aloof self with those arms squeezing her so tightly against that beautifully warm, soft body, with its full, succulent breasts… "I hope I'm not intruding! I brought you a gift on the occasion of this special date!"

Konoka quickly released her, blinking in surprise. "A gift for me? Set-chan, you shouldn't have!"

The girl with the ponytail rasped softly before holding a small wrapped box for her. "It isn't much, but please accept this small token of my appreciation." Setsuna immediately berated herself. No, no! That had been too intimate, too personal! It wouldn't do at all!

Konoka curiously held her gift up. "Can I open it now?"

"If you wish to..." Setsuna attempted to sound distant again.

"Shouldn't you wait until everyone's here so we can open our gifts at once as we had planned?" Asuna reminded her roommate.

"Ah, it's true!" Konoka giggled, lightly knocking a fist on her own head. "I forgot! I have a gift for you too, Set-chan! But you'll wait until the party's climax, won't you?" she asked.

"For me?" the kendoka was honestly surprised. After so long, did Ojou-sama still care enough about her for that? "Of... Of course I'll wait as long as it takes..."

"Excellent! Come in, then!" Konoka grabbed her hand and began to lead her in, but then Asuna stood on their way.

"Yeah, yeah, just leave the sword aside first, okay?" the redhead pointed at the long wrapped blade Setsuna was carrying on her back. "We're going to have kids here, and I don't want anyone poking an eye out with that."

"What do you mean? Yuunagi will never leave my reach!" Setsuna became almost indignant. "I'd never allow anyone to touch it! It is a valuable masterpiece!"

Asuna blinked. "It's an artwork?"

"No, 'masterpiece', as in something an apprentice makes to show that he is a master of his chosen craft," Setsuna said. "Really, you should listen to Negi-sensei's lessons more, Kagurazaka-san."

"Still, no one in their right mind carries a thing like that during a Christmas party! Sheesh, I'll bet you even go to the toilet with that thing..." Asuna complained, shaking her head.

"Of course I don't!" Setsuna lied quite convincingly.

"Come on, Set-chan, just for a few hours..." Konoka pleaded. "I promise we'll take the best care of it..."

Sakurazaki looked hesitant, but finally relented and silently handed Yuunagi over to Asuna. The taller girl was surprised at noticing the blade's weight, even for a strong girl like her. "Setsuna, this weighs a frickin' ton! What kind of vitamins do you take?"

The swordsgirl lifted her chin up just a bit. "It's simply the result of long and devoted training."

Asuna gave Setsuna's very thin arms a dubious look. "Ah, yeah. Sure."

Then someone knocked at the door. "I'm coming!" Konoka skipped over to open, finding a haggard, slumped over Itoshiki Nozomu at their doorstep, his head covered by snow. "Itoshiki-sensei?"

The man's voice spazzed unevenly. "Am I too early?"

"You're never late," Asuna commented. "In either sense."

"Sensei, why is your head all but buried in snow?" Setsuna asked warily.

"Sakurazaki-san, my family, arrogant as it may sound, is one gifted with many resources," he blandly said. "Never underestimate an Itoshiki's capacity for attempting suicide by suffocating within the icy white heart of this season, even under an unusually bright sun."

Asuna gave him a closer look. "Isn't that yellow snow in your mouth?"

He quickly spat it out and straightened up. "I knew there was something hauntingly wrong with the flavor! Quickly! I need to wash my lips and tongue off!"

Konoka helpfully pointed inside. "The washroom's at the end of that hall..."

"Thank you." Before rushing inside, he stopped at Asuna's side, looking at the sword still in her hands. "Is this a gift for me? Interesting. I never had contemplated self-beheading before..."

Asuna just kicked him down the hall. "Try not to drown into the toilet, will you?"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude: Natsuki's Christmas.<strong>_

Under a clear yet cold sky, the long haired pretty girl crouched down before the grave with a small, sad smile on her face.

"Merry Christmas, Mom."

She carefully placed the bouquet of red roses before the gravestone, shivering as the icy breeze blew over her. Even with her sweater on, she felt a deadly chill running through her body. But ironically, mostly coming from inside.

"I'm going to find that person soon," she promised. "Still working on it."

Tentatively, she reached over with a hand and ran her fingers impotently over the gravestone, a few tears coming to her eyes in silence.

_"I swear I won't fail you,"_ she whispered. _"Your death won't be in vain."_

She felt stupid and empty. She didn't believe in the afterlife. She knew she was just wasting her breath. Her mother would never feel anything again, would never know what she was doing for her sake. And yet, until revenge could be had, that was the only thing, the only shallow pretense, that could mildly satisfy the unending hole burning through her heart, ironically freezing her inside.

"I'm working with someone I think could help me," she voiced, feeling the need to elaborate.

She buried her face between her hands and cried.

"It's the only thing I have now."

* * *

><p>There were two solid, fast knocks at the door.<p>

Not Konoka's door, by the way. Nodoka and Yue's. We have just changed scenes again. I just couldn't bring myself to put a 'Meanwhile, at Nodoka and Yue's Room...!' without hearing the narrator of Super Friends saying it, so I didn't.

So, as I was saying, meanwhile, at Nodoka and Yue's room, there were two solid, fast knocks at the door… oh, darn!

"Coming," Yue said calmly, buttoning her collar up with one hand while the other held the onion juice box she was finishing sucking dry. As she rolled the last few drops onto her tongue, she opened to see Saotome Haruna standing there with a gigantic grin, loaded with gift boxes and wearing a micro mini-skirted red Santa suit, complete with hat and tall boots. Yue spat onion freshness all over her own feet. "H-Haruna! Don't tell me you're going to Konoka's part dressed like that!"

The tall busty girl looked down at herself. "What's wrong with it? Ku-chan liked it!"

"We're talking about a girl who thinks Jackie Chan is sexy, Haruna," Yue exhaled in exasperation. "You're going to flash your panties at Negi-sensei if you don't stand perfectly straight and still at all times..."

"Oh. Do you think I'd better take them off before going, then?" she said evilly, her thick eyebrows quivering with sheer perversity.

"Only if you put them on your face instead," Yue deadpanned. "Hopefully, they'll finally get the clue and have you committed."

"Oh, Nodoka!" Haruna called out. "Yue's being mean to me again!"

Nodoka's head peeked out from the bathroom, her bangs briefly swinging aside to reveal a pair of huge beautiful bright eyes. "Oh, Haruna, good afternoon! I'll be there in a minute!" The head retreated back quickly.

"So, who are all those gifts for?" Yue asked as Haruna walked inside and plopped herself down on the couch, crossing her legs. This actually mad the outfit _worse_, somehow, despite managing to conceal her underwear.

"Well, I have one for you, one for Nodoka, and one for Sensei, naturally," the mangaka smiled insolently. "And one for Kono-chan, since she's been such a good club member, and it's her party, and it's always good to have her buttered up." For some reason, Haruna briefly licked her lips after saying that, and Yue knew she had just had another of her Freudian slips. "In the flattered sense, I mean."

"Of course," Yue played along.

"And I also bought gifts for Chisame-chan, and Misa, and Madoka and Sakurako, and Kaede, and-"

"That's a lot of money," Yue was reasonably impressed. "I thought your father's Dojo didn't have that much business."

Haruna shrugged. "Mom always finds her ways to make as much as we need..."

"Okay," Yue wisely chose not to go there. "But why to bother? I doubt Chisame and the others will give you anything in trade."

Haruna's eyes glinted for a moment. "It's for the flags!"

Ayase's eyes became pinpoints for a second. "The whats?"

"It's very simple, actually. It's like playing a videogame. Ever played 'Love Puni'? To get the maximum score and the perfect ending, you must get all the 'flags' or goals to be met with each character," the taller girl explained with evident joy.

"You mean beating them down in less than twenty seconds, or some such nonsense?" Yue asked her.

Haruna slammed a hand on her own face. "That's a beat'em up, Yue! I mean a different kind of videogame!"

The tiny girl paused before making a distressed face. "You don't mean-!"

Haruna looked away innocently. "Oops. I may have said too much."

"You know no boundaries," Yue observed.

"You say that as if it's a bad thing."

"Be serious for once," the shorter student's expression grew harsher. "Are Nodoka and me 'flags' in that game of yours, too?"

Haruna lost her smile for a moment before it returned, but in a more sedate, pleasant and gentle way. She fondly ran a hand over Yue's head. "You know I'd never treat our friendship as a plaything."

"That's good to know."

"And besides, I already made enough progress on you two, saved the game, and only need to achieve the last few events..."

"HARUNA!"

"What? You were my first ever selected routes! You should be honored!" she cackled.

Nodoka walked out of the room finishing fixing her skirt up. "What are you two talking about now?"

"Haruna's being a disgusting pervert again," Yue scowled.

"Yue just can't take a joke," Saotome casually feigned innocence. "But that's part of her natural cuteness."

Nodoka gave her a knowing glare. "Haruna..."

"What?"

"That skirt is too short. Your panties are showing."

"How nice of you to notice! And so quickly, too!"

Nodoka blushed immediately. "I-I-I just happened to notice it accidentally!"

"Accidentally?" Yue scoffed. "You'd have to be blind to not notice it. That's it; next meeting, I'm proposing the club to start setting higher clothing requirements for all members named Saotome..."

* * *

><p>As the Library Trio walked outside under the cold yet mostly sunny late December sky, Haruna flung the bag full of gifts over her shoulder like a real Santa Claus.<p>

"You really are going to get have a problem over that ridiculous getup," Yue warned, tightening her scarf over her own short neck. "Iinchou will chew you up, for starters."

"Nothing bad will happen. I trust Christmas miracles," Saotome offered cheerfully.

"It'll be a miracle if you don't get arrested for indecent exposure," Ayase countered. "Hell, it'll a miracle you don't get hypothermia!"

Nodoka laughed good naturedly. "I think it's a pretty costume, it's just the skirt needs to be longer."

"It favors the bust rather nicely too, doesn't it?" the artist pushed her breasts up a bit. "It's all about the right approach to visual appeal tactics. Primary colors like red and white, coupled with a well known pop culture icon, are universally accepted signs that call over to people of all walks of life. Plus, breasts."

Yue grumbled, giving a brief look at her own flat figure. Haruna quickly bit her own tongue and went into another rapid tangent.

"W-Well, what matters is, this is both cute and sexy! With it, I'm gonna get my best ever Christmas present, I'm sure!"

"What is that?" Nodoka curiously asked.

Haruna giggled cagily. "A little tasty Britannian treat under the mistletoe."

"P-Paru!" Nodoka blushed crimson, gasping loudly. "You wouldn't!"

"Why not?" the tall girl arched an eyebrow. "Oh, sorry, hadn't thought of it. You wanna go first?"

Nodoka's blush intensified to a point it went past into a nearly black face. "G-G-Going first with who?-!"

"Well, if it's with me, I'm flattered," Haruna batted her eyelashes exaggeratedly. "I hadn't given it too much of a serious thought, but if it's okay with you... Now, if you're talking about Sensei, well, I had hoped to get in there first, but I can allow you to-"

Yue blandly kicked her in a shin. "Nodoka isn't a sex fiend like you!"

"O-Of course I'm not!" the shy girl protested, pressing her arms down against her front and lowering her gaze, trying not to think of the copies of_Lolita_ and _The Complete Works of the Marquis de Sade_ she had hidden in her closet.

Haruna actually looked disappointed. "You actually sure, Nodoka? All jokes aside, if you're ever going to get rid of that phobia of men you have, you should start aiming low... if you know what I mean..."

Yue scoffed, lifting her tiny nose up. "Negi-sensei is aiming too high for you, Haruna."

"Oh, I know he's a great catch, despite his... size and age problems," Haruna was undeterred. "I just mean, well, our Nodoka should start with a man who isn't fully a man yet... you know, to get used to it step by step..."

"I think I'm going to be sick," Yue grunted.

Fortunately for her, they already had reached Konoka's dorm. Yue got to the door first, ringing the doorbell and being greeted by her fellow Baka Red. "Good afternoon, Asuna," she said.

"Ah, Yue, Honya-chan!" Asuna greeted back. "Welcome! Glad to have you here!" Then she shot Haruna a glare. "Hey, what's up with that suit? We're going to have kids here! Don't you have any shame?"

"Don't you have any Christmas spirit?" Saotome feigned being pained as she walked after her two closest friends. "You're so rough! And after I brought you a gift, too!"

"You did?" Asuna blinked. "Well, thanks, but-"

"Don't mention it! I forgive you!" Haruna sat down before the TV, turning it on and beginning flipping through channels. "Do you get American channels in this thing?"

"I could get you a longer skirt..." Asuna offered, being utterly ignored by the red clad girl. "I wouldn't mind lending it to you..."

"Forgive us for bringing her, please," Yue apologized, bowing. "Where's Konoka?"

"Oh, she's at the kitchen, getting the turkey ready," Asuna replied. "Setsuna's with her, and Itoshiki-sensei is using the bathroom..."

"KAGURAZAKA-KUN!" a man's voice bellowed from further inside. "Exactly what is this thing behind the toilet seat?"

Asuna's pigtails stood up.

"And why's this photo of Takamichi right next to it?" Nozomu's voice continued.

Asuna's face changed into several different shades of red, purple and green at random intervals.

"Furthermore, why is this-" he went on.

"EXCUSE ME!" Asuna told her guests before zooming down the hall, disappearing from sight seconds before the heavy sounds of mauling and violence came from the bathroom in force, Itoshiki's questions being replaced by his deafening yowls of agony.

Nodoka simply stood in place, turned into a veritable salt statue.

Haruna, on the other hand, just gave Yue a knowing wink and a nod. "See? Deep inside, we're all the same anyway!"

Yue sighed deeply. "I'll need a stronger drink than the usual…"

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude: Chao's Christmas.<strong>_

She had been having the same troubling dreams again. In her dreams, Kaede fell down pierced by spears of light. Ku Fei suffocated inside of a block of ice. Haruna was surrounded by fire, and Nodoka was struck down by lightning. Konoka, Chisame, Ako and Akira were drowning. Chachamaru was mercilessly ripped apart. And that was only the beginning. Everything got worse after it.

She had never been there herself, but the historical reports had been enough to burn the whole picture into her head. Would she be partially responsible for it, after all, through her inaction? Shouldn't she been doing more about it instead of only focusing on her own project?

But even so, how do you beat destiny itself? Could it be done after all? What was the code, the course of action she had to take and crack? Was there one to begin with?

No, there had to be a way out. Otherwise, her whole life would lack any purpose.

(But what if it DID lack it?)

She tried to shake the annoying tiny defeatist voice in the back of her mind. No, she was Chao Lingshen. Supergenius supreme. All she had to do was to succeed at the festival, and the disaster could be avoided. There was no point on trying to go back and fix it after a defeat at the Festival either. She had to succeed at her only intended goal; fantasizing about going with them beyond that was pointless.

But to succeed at the Festival, she needed her right hand back. Satomi…

"What's wrong with you lately, Chao?"

The question took her by surprise, although it shouldn't have. She was actually slipping, after all.

The black haired (allegedly) Chinese girl lifted her eyes from the pork buns she was cooking and turned them towards the door frame, where Satomi stood with Satsuki at her left and Ku at her right.

"Satomi-chan!"

"Merry Christmas," Hakase said passively. "May I come in?"

"You know you always can," Lingshen welcomed her. "What's kept you away for so long?"

Hakase was not amused. "Please, don't take me for a fool. We both know what happened with Evangeline and Chachamaru."

Chao sighed, keeping one eye on the buns. "I apologize over that, but mostly over not explaining it sooner. I thought you'd need more time to cool down about it, since you were avoiding me..."

"I have been... very busy lately," Satomi reluctantly admitted.

"I see," Chao thoughtfully nodded. "Satomi, to be honest, I... gave Chachamaru her free will because I thought it was the right thing to do. I know I should've consulted you it with first, but I was in a situation where I couldn't-"

"I understand," Hakase replied. "I was in the wrong about her. Her new emotional and behavioral venues definitely are a more interesting field than her old set of pre-programmed reactions... but mostly, it's better for her this way. She deserves being able to decide her own life."

Chao smiled very cutely. "I'm glad you agree with me there-yo!"

Hakase smiled back, awkward and slow. "I'd like to re-start our prior status of relationships."

Lingshen clapped happily. "Whenever you want!"

"But I must warn you, I won't have as much free time to spend with you as before."

Chao smirked knowingly. "Spending much more time with Negi-bouzou now, aren't you?"

Hakase blushed and laughed goofily. "Is it that evident?"

Ku broke her unusual silence pounding on her from behind, and rubbing a fist playfully on her head. "Ahh, naughty Satomi-chan! You kept it well hidden-aru...!"

"It's... It's nothing like that!" Hakase weakly protested.

"Now, why were you asking me what's wrong with me-ne?" Chao said, seriously.

Satomi cringed a bit, embarrassed. "Um, nothing, forget it! I just was pointlessly shooting my mouth off!"

"Hmmmm," the Chinese genius quickly smiled again. "So, will you be attending our Christmas dinner tonight? You can bring Negi-bouzou and Chisame, too!"

"Oh, thanks, but... we got an invitation to Konoka-san's party first. Sorry," the girl with glasses apologized.

"Oh, I see. It's okay. Give everyone there our regards then-yo!"

"I'll give you some snacks to bring there," Satsuki offered Satomi. "I made a few especially for Negi-sensei."

"Thanks a million," Hakase made a slight bow.

Chao patted her on a shoulder. How interesting. She was more socially conscious than ever before. A highly wonderful, even if scary, development.

Perhaps it could be played to the plan's advantage, even.

* * *

><p>Chisame and Negi were waiting for her, dressed for the occasion, by the time Hakase finally made it back to the apartment.<p>

"Did it go smoothly?" Hasegawa asked her.

"I believe so, yes," Satomi nodded a few times. "I managed to get my point across to Chao without offending her, I think." Then she handed the bag with Satsuki's snacks over to Negi. "Yotsuba-san sent this for you, by the way, Sensei."

"Ah!" Negi peeked inside of it. "They look delicious, Satomi-san!" At first, he had insisted on going with her to the Chao Bao Zi to give his Christmas greetings to Chao's bunch, but Chisame had managed to convince him it'd be best for Lingshen and Hakase to solve their differences alone and personally.

"Yeah, yeah, that's just dandy," Hasegawa nodded quickly. "Can we go to the party now? The sooner it begins, the sooner it ends, I figure..."

"Now who's the one who doesn't have any Christmas spirit?" Chamo asked.

"There's a big difference between the spirit of Christmas and the spirit of masochism. Sharing a quiet evening with those you live with is the former, going to inane parties is the latter," Chisame explained.

"What kind of reasoning is that?!" the ermine yelped.

"One that works for me," Chisame all but pushed the other three to the door. "Now, now, let's not waste any time. Hopefully we'll at least get there before Kasuga hogs all the tastier dishes."

"Again, I don't think that's in accordance with the spirit of the holidays!" Chamo protested.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude- Ichigo's Christmas:<strong>_

"So, um, where are you living now, Ichigo?" Rukia had finally asked as they walked back from killing the latest Hollow to show up in the area.

The tall boy marching next to her with his hands in his pockets shot her a brief jaded glare. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, it's nothing," she replied in the same tone. "Just asking."

He hummed before shrugging his shoulders. "Over there. I got myself a small apartment right out of Mahora. I'll have to stay there until my powers come back and I'm allowed back into Soul Society."

"I see," she vaguely nodded. "Well, can I have your exact address, then? Just to locate you more easily if I have anything to ask you about the Hollows, or anything like that."

"Ah, sure," he grunted, stopping only long enough to pull a small piece of paper and a pen out, writing quickly before handing the note over to the human girl. "Here."

"Thanks," she said, and neither of them said anything else about the matter.

But that evening, Ichigo found a small packaged cake on his doorstep. He figured out it had to be because of that 'Christmas' thing the humans were celebrating. The cake was obviously, even for him, bought from a store, and it didn't seem too expensive.

But the horrible rabbits hand drawn on the package along the 'MERRY X-MAS' message only could come from a single pair of hands.

Kami, those rabbits were the most hideous thing he ever had seen.

And yet he didn't have the heart to toss them into the trash.

* * *

><p>Konoka had guessed it was Ayaka at the door by her way of ringing.<p>

She knew it sounded stupid, and that was why she never told anyone about it, but she could guess a few people's identities just by the way they rang. With Iinchou, it was pretty much like her voice; clear and imperative, yet also elegant and sincere. It sounded loudly, yet never repeating itself unless a lot of time passed, in which case it sounded harder and harsher, but never desperate. Like Iinchou herself giving a command, expecting to be obeyed in the spot.

Konoka, of course, happily obeyed.

"Good aftenoon, Iinchou!" the words left her mouth just as she was opening the front door for the blonde.

"Good afternoon to you too, Konoka-san, and Merry Christmas," Ayaka bowed formally in turn. She was wearing an elaborate, nearly angelic looking white dress, and one of her maids, the tallest one with the sharp icy eyes behind huge round glasses, stood behind her carrying a huge and heavy looking box in her arms.

"Huh?" Asuna approached as well, with Setsuna following. "Oh, it's you, Iinchou. What's cookin'."

Ayaka made a slight sneering. "Merry Christmas, Asuna-san, Sakurazaki-san."

"The same to you, Iinchou-san," Setsuna bowed respectfully.

Ayaka looked up and down at her. "Sakurazaki-san, whatever happened to your training sword?"

"We have it stored until the party ends, but if you want to commit Seppuku..." Asuna smirked caustically.

Ayaka smirked back. "Oh, no! As my gracious hostess, I insist on you going first, Asuna-san!"

"Ah, ha ha, you two..." Konoka made her way to the maid and bowed. "Glad to see you too, Roberta-san. Wish to spend the party with us?"

"Oh, no, I couldn't," the woman quickly replied. "I only came to bring this for Ojou-sama, and I'll simply pick her up later tonight. In the meantime, I won't intrude."

"It's not intruding!" Konoka laughed. "The more, the merrier! Don'tcha think, Asuna?"

Her roommate shrugged. "If that's okay with you..."

"I simply couldn't-" Roberta insisted before Ayaka hushed her with a brief hand gestured.

"I'm fine with it as well, Roberta-san. You've more than earned it."

"Thank you so very much for your kindness, Ojou-sama," Roberta replied.

"Well, then leave that box under the tree and relax yourself!" the Konoe heiress chirped. "I'll go bring some drinks!" She retreated back to the kitchen.

As Roberta did as told, Setsuna couldn't help noticing the dry solid thud the box made upon hitting the floor. "I hope I'm not being rude, but what do you have in there?" she warily asked.

Ayaka chuckled. "My Christmas gift for Negi-sensei, naturally. I couldn't be satisfied with just anything. It had to reflect the depths of my appreciation for him!"

"Had any problems finding sex shops open this season?" Asuna dryly asked her.

"Why?" Ayaka stared daggers at her. "Interested on the subject?"

Asuna waved a hand. "Sorry, that wasn't funny. Look, neither of us wants to ruin Konoka's party, so let's bury the hatchet just for tonight. Because it's Christmas, and all that junk."

Ayaka paused for a moment before nodding. "I agree."

Asuna smiled and extended a hand. "Deal, then?"

The Class Rep shook the offered hand. "Deal!"

A few seconds later, they let each other go after squeezing their hands as hard as they could. Their hands had even been left red as raw meat.

Setsuna and Roberta quietly sighed.

"So, where's the mistletoe?" Ayaka asked, looking around.

"The what?" Asuna questioned.

"The mistletoe, of course!" Ayaka said. "What kind of ignorant are you? It's a Christmas tradition! You need to have at least one mistletoe spot at any Christmas celebration! Fortunately, I had the foresight to predict such a misstep on your part! Roberta-san!" She snapped her fingers.

The maid quickly pulled a few branches of mistletoe from a large pocket of her apron. "It's right here, Ojou-sama!"

"Over that door!" Ayaka pointed to a random nearby door.

"That's the way to the bathroom!" Asuna said. "What bad taste!"

"Oh, sorry!" the Iinchou excuse herself. "Over that other, then!" She pointed at the door leading to the small dining room, and Roberta quickly hung it there with somewhat clumsy hands.

"What's that for?" Asuna asked with vivid curiosity.

"You really don't know?" Ayaka incredulously asked.

"Nope!"

"Me neither," Setsuna admitted.

Ayaka exhaled a sigh. How to explain that to a Baka Ranger and a girl who understood of nothing but swords, without revealing her own plans in the process...

Then the doorbell rang again. "You'll explain later," Asuna said as she went to open it. "Hey, brat, Chisame and the Prof!" she greeted, and Ayaka's heart jumped up in joy. "Ew, you brought that weasel again?-!"

Ayaka was quickly retouching her makeup before her rival would lead the newcomers in. "D-Do I look fashionable enough, Roberta-san?"

"Like a film star, Ojou-sama?"

"Innocent yet seductive?"

"No doubt about it, Ojou-sama."

"How about my lipstick? Does it invite for a chaste but passionate kiss?"

"I... I wouldn't be the best person to ask about that, Ojou-sama..."

Setsuna idly wondered if she ever sounded that bad when talking to Konoka.

* * *

><p>"Good afternoon, Iinchou-san," her precious little angel greeted her, and Ayaka's heart felt like it was shooting itself up to the stars.<p>

"G-Good afternoon, and Merry Christmas, Negi-sensei," the heiress brightly smiled. "You too, Hasegawa-san, Hakase-san."

"Nice dress, Iinchou," Chisame sparsely complimented.

"Oh, this? Glad you like it. A gift from my father," she gracefully spun around to show it off. "Sadly, he's currently busy in America, but he promised he'd be here by New Year's..."

Standing behind her, Roberta barely repressed the urge to exhale a defeatist dry sigh. It was the same promise every year. And every year, it was broken.

"I present my best wishes for your holidays as well, Negi-sensei, young ladies," the maid mechanically said, doing an awkward curtsy that somehow looked rather unfitting a woman of her size.

Hakase blinked a few times. "... Who are you?"

Chisame elbowed her in an arm. "Stupid, don't you remember her? She's one of Iinchou's servants!"

"Roberta-san is one of my most trusted aides," Ayaka said. "Please do treat her just like you would treat me."

"Why? I don't dislike her," Asuna chuckled.

Ayaka rolled her blue eyes. "Is that Santa Claus I hear on the ceiling? No, it sounds more like a dumb ape dragging her knuckles around..."

Before another discussion could break out, however, Nodoka walked in from the kitchen, closely followed by Yue. "Ah! Good afternoon, everyone! Negi-sensei!" she formally bowed to her teacher, him flawlessly doing the same thing almost immediately. "Merry Christmas!" they said at the same time.

Chamo hopped to Nodoka's feet, rubbing his head against them. With a smile, Miyazaki picked him up and cradled him around. "So, this is your pet, Sensei? Misa-san told me about him... He's very cute! What's his name?"

"Albert Chamomile," Satomi said before anyone else could.

"He has a last name?" Yue arched her right eyebrow.

"He's... a pedigreed pure-breed," Negi made up an explanation on the fly.

"Regrettably, that means the inbreeding in his highly pure bloodline gave him severe mental problems," Chisame deadpanned, much to Chamo's unspoken annoyance. "So, if he starts trying to worm into your cleavage, feel free to slam him against a wall. That usually eases his behavioral irregularities down."

"A fact proven by science," Satomi nodded, and Chamo felt himself betrayed from all sides. Even Negi's, since despite his sudden silent awkwardness, he certainly wasn't talking against the suggestion.

"I wouldn't ever-" Nodoka doubtfully started, but then stopped herself. "I mean, I'm sure I won't have any problems with him!"

"Sensei, we bought you this," Yue handed him what obviously was a gift-wrapped book. "It isn't much, but consider it a Christmas present from Nodoka and me. Please only open it at the party's end."

"Girls, thank you so very much..." he breathed."I'm sorry; I couldn't buy you anything..."

"He spends most of his money paying his sister's studies," Chisame sighed.

"Sis' dream is expensive to achieve..." Negi lowered his head. "She's always telling me not to worry, but she always has to struggle to make ends meet."

Nodoka made a sound of sympathy. "That's such a big responsibility for someone your age..."

"Sensei, if there's anything I can help you in that regard, please do tell me!" Ayaka grabbed his hands, truly moved. "All the resources of the Yukihiro Financial Group are at your disposal!"

He sweatdropped. "Iinchou-san, thanks, but I couldn't possibly-"

"Don't even mention it!" She let his hands go and put her own over her chest. "All that is mine is yours as well!"

"Did you NEED to put your hands over your bazoongas while saying that?" Asuna critically questioned.

Ignoring her, Ayaka continued, marching across the room, "What is money good for if it can't buy you happiness? Or buy happiness for your loved ones?" Without even noticing it, she stood under the mistletoe at the room separating the living room from the dining room. "No investment can be of larger importance than your wellbeing! For it, I'd do anything, tolerate anything, go to any lengths! And if I'm lying, may Heaven punish me!"

At that moment, Haruna walked out of the dining room munching on a few cookies. "Hey, how are you, Sensei? And Chisame and the Prof, too! Wanna some sweets? They're fresh off Konoka's oven, and-"

Then she noticed she was under the mistletoe with Ayaka, although the heiress herself hadn't noticed yet. "Ohh!" she mischievously chuckled.

"What?" Ayaka asked, eyeing her with wariness.

Haruna grinned, pointing up. "That."

Ayaka paled as her eyes drifted up. "Oh, no. Really, Saotome-san, you don't have to-"

Haruna, however, had already grabbed her face between both hands, then planted a big loud smooch on each one of her cheeks.

Ayaka's immediate shriek was heard all across Mahora.

Asuna looked at Yue. "Is Haruna vaccinated against most animal diseases?"

Yue looked back. "Funny. I was about to ask you the same about Iinchou. Cookie?"

"Don't mind if I do."

* * *

><p>Misora stopped before the door to clear her throat and give Cocone a last reminder that the little girl didn't really need, even if Misora herself did.<p>

"Now, Cocone-chan, if Misa seems to be leading Negi under any kind of hanging branch, what are we supposed to do?"

The child sighed. "To lead him away from her."

"In any way possible," Kasuga solemnly completed.

"But without revealing you're just doing it out of jealousy," Cocone finished.

"I'm not jealous! I'm just an angel of mercy saving a young soul from the pits of depravity!" Misora argued.

"Got it," Cocone calmly said.

"But if I casually happen to coincidentally be under the same branch as him, what are you supposed to do?"

"I let nature to take its course."

"Bingo."

"May I ask why it's okay for you but not for her?"

"I'll explain it to you when you're older," Misora promised. "For now, be content with knowing life is complex."

"Right."

The older girl patted her head. "That's my pal!" Then she rang. "Hey, Konoka! It's us!"

The door opened, but much to her shock, Misora found herself face to face, not with Asuna or Konoka, but with a placidly smiling, eyes always closed, Nagase Kaede. The relaxed buxom girl was so tall she had to lower her upper half quite a bit just to be at eye level with Kasuga.

"Welcome to our humble gathering, de gozaru," Kaede said.

Oddly, everyone inside but Kaede and her perennial twin companions was even more shocked than Misora.

"W-When did you get in here, Nagase-san?!" Ayaka gasped.

"We never opened the door for you!" Asuna added.

"You weren't here one scene ago!" Haruna tried to make sense out of it.

Kaede shook a finger around. "It's not a ninja trick."

"No one had said anything about ninjas," Negi blinked.

"That's because I'm not a ninja," Kaede quietly replied.

"Of course you aren't," Setsuna sighed, leading both sisters in training inside.

"So, this is the roommate you've told us so much about, Misora!" Haruna crouched down to pet the stone faced Cocone's head. "Waiii, but she's a cutie! Almost as cute as Sensei!"

"Saotome-san, please!" Negi asked.

Haruna pushed them both together. "Toy Ship!" she squealed.

"What?" Ayaka asked.

"I don't get it," Misora admitted.

"Me neither..." Fumika spoke.

"... But somehow, I feel left out all the same," Fuuka completed.

Being the only other person at the room geeky enough to get the reference, Chisame clenched her teeth and repressed her urges to hit Haruna over the head. It wouldn't do to go around assaulting people who annoyed her. And on a pragmatic note, Saotome might actually kick her ass.

Misora quickly lost interest on the toy subject and started looking around for mistletoe. When she finally found it, she decided to go for broke before Misa arrived. "Sensei, I'm hungry! Wanna go for some snacks with me? I don't know this apartment, and need someone to guide me!" Pretending to not see the branch, yet making a beeline for it before Iinchou could catch her, she grabbed Negi's right hand and pulled him with her straight for the door as only a sprinter could.

But right as she was making it under the branch, and before Negi could be pulled under it along with her, Itoshiki-sensei came out of the dining room, looking at Asuna.

"Kagurazaka-kun, may I ask why have you locked your sharp kitchen utensils? I happen to have a need of them for-"

Then he noticed a petrified, distressed looking Misora standing right in front of him. "Hmm? Kasuga-kun, isn't it? Is there something wrong?"

Chisame half-smirked, pointing a finger above their heads. "Something very wrong, yes..."

The adult teacher paled ghastly as he saw the mistletoe, then waved his arms around. "No! No! Forget it! Absolutely not! For starters, I'm not a believer on Western traditions!"

"As of this day on, neither am I!" Misora nodded very fast.

"But you must be! You're a Catholic!" Chisame actually almost guffawed.

"Weren't you expressing doubt about that earlier?" Hakase said, confused.

Negi looked at both of them without a clue in the world until Ayaka gently moved him back and away from Nozomu and Kasuga. "Negi-sensei, maybe it would be for the best if you don't stand in their way..."

"Whose way?" he asked.

"Them," Yue pointed at Haruna and the Narutakis.

Haruna's eyes glowed in an ominous red light as her grin grew as large as lecherous, her fingers twirling madly around as her ahoge twitched wildly. "The mistletoe has spoken! Its will must be obeyed!"

"Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Kiss, Kiss!" Fuuka and Fumika chanted.

"When Haruna puts that face on, there's no escape..." Nodoka fearfully commented.

"Kaede, hold your midgets back!" Misora pleaded nervously, backing away from the twins and looking around for the busty girl. "Kaede? Where did you go?"

"Right here, Kasuga-dono," Kaede calmly answered from where she was now grabbing Itoshiki's thin, weakly kicking frame from behind, holding him relatively quiet in place. "Sorry, but a Shinobi's path is an honorless one. Not that I'm one, mind, but..."

"C-C-Cocone-chan...! HEEELPPPP!" Misora pleaded as Haruna and the Narutakis surrounded her mercilessly.

Cocone had gone to sit at a corner watching the Spongebob Christmas Special on TV. "Let nature take its course..."

As Misora was overpowered and dragged around towards those other definitely not welcoming either lips, she vaguely wondered if she shouldn't have bought Cocone something else than socks. Or maybe she was still pissed off about the cake…?

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude- Chachamaru's Christmas<strong>__:_

Chachamaru looked at the reference book she'd managed to find in her Master's library, then down at the array of objects before her. She didn't nod in satisfaction, but if she were the kind to do so, she would have at this point. Good. She had gathered all her materials. Quickly, she flipped to a section about three-quarters of the way through the book, and began to scan the pages of information she needed, committing it to memory.

Nodding in satisfaction, she reached for some scissors and began to cut. She hoped the Master liked her gift…

* * *

><p>"I still don't know," Sakurako said sheepishly while looking at the gift box between her hands.<p>

"Come on, you'll never get anywhere with that attitude!" Misa playfully chided her. "That isn't the Sakurako I know! At this rate, you'll lose her without a fight!"

The three cheerleaders were midway to Konoka's dorm, each one carrying a gift with her. Sakurako walked in the middle, with Misa at her right and Madoka at her left.

"Misa's right, you know," Madoka nodded. "You can't plop a kiss on a girl, then act as if nothing had happened for weeks. She's gonna think it was nothing but a whim. Or that you're a slut."

"It wasn't!" Shiina argued. "I'm not! But I don't know how to bring up the subject! What am I supposed to say? 'Hey, Hakase, remember that time I violated your personal space and stuck my tongue down your throat without permission?' I mean, if she hasn't looked for me again, maybe she just isn't interested..."

Misa patted her on the shoulder. "Silly girl. Hakase's spent most of her life locked up in labs. You can't expect for her to make the first move! She barely knows how to talk to people. If you want her, you'll have to grab the bull by the horns yourself!"

"We'll be with you each step of the way!" Madoka promised.

"Thank you, girls..." Sakurako smiled again. "You're the best friends I ever could have..."

"You're just lucky like that!" Misa smirked.

"By the way, Misa-chan, how are things going on your side?" Shiina asked her.

"With Negi-kun, you mean?" the purple haired girl laughed. "He's all but mine now! I'm thiiiiiiiis close to my ultimate goal!"

Madoka made a face. "Still intending to go with that? Misa, just let it go. He's our teacher, and he's too young for us. It'll never work."

"HEY!" Misa protested. "Why is Sakurako's dream all okay, but mine isn't?"

"It's a wholly different thing!" Kugimiya lectured. "Hakase's a girl our own age, able to make her own decisions! Sensei, while cute and very mature for his age, still isn't ready for romance. If you insist on going that route with him, you'll hurt him and yourself. Plus, what you're planning is illegal for the next three years!"

"I'm sure we'll make it through," Misa confidently stated. "In four years or so, we'll even look more or less the same age. And besides, you don't know Negi-kun like I do. Trust me, he's more than up to the task."

"You have spent a lot of time with him lately," Sakurako observed.

"I can use it to get you some leverage with Hakase, if you want," Kakizaki offered. "Despite my initial dislike of her, I've learned she actually can be kinda cool. Funny, in any case. Ditto for Chisame."

Madoka blinked. "I can't believe you of all people just said that!"

"What? It's true. They'll never be the life of the party, right, but it's still a cool enough bunch to hang with and just... talk about stuff. But never better than you guys," Misa quickly added.

Madoka smiled knowingly. "You wouldn't even try to talk with them if Sensei weren't there."

"But he is. And the girls aren't bad people either. Weird and awkward, but you learn to get along with them."

"How far have you gotten with Negi-kun, Misa-chan?" Sakurako eagerly asked.

The trio's unofficial leader winked an eye at her. "Let's just say you aren't the only one who has landed a smooch on the object of your affection..."

"Oooooo!" Shiina squealed. "Way to go!"

"You aren't being serious!" Madoka gasped.

"Wait and see. After this night's over, you'll see an encore," Misa promised as the three stopped at Konoka's doorstep and rang the bell.

Konoka herself greeted them. "Ah, welcome, girls! Merry Christmas!"

"Merry Christmas, Kono-chan!" Misa gave her a quick friendly peck on a cheek. Setsuna twitched from where she was standing keeping an eye on Konoka, fingers twitching for Yuunagi…

"This is for you and Asuna," Madoka smiled warmly, handing her the gift box she was carrying.

"Oh, thanks... I have one for you three, too! You'll get to see it at the party's end!" Konoka promised.

"Is Negi-kun here?" Misa craned her neck inside.

"Yes, he and Chisame-san are with the librarians, Kaede and the twins at the next room, trying to revive Itohiki-sensei."

"What happened to him?" Madoka asked.

"Oh, he just fainted after kissing Misora..."

The cheerleaders automatically synchronized a loud scream of "KISSING WHO?!"

Misora herself was sitting at a corner of the living area, still wiping her mouth off over and over while sporting a traumatized look. "It was... like kissing sandpaper! I have been tainted! I'm in despair! Despair has left me in despair!"

"Well, they happened to meet under the mistletoe, so Haruna and the twins thought-" Konoka helpfully began an explanation Misa ignored to basically stomp inside.

"So you DO have mistletoe in here! I knew it! Where is it? Where is it?" She walked around until she located it, standing right under it. "Ah hah! A very good place, if I may say so! Now all I have to do is to look for the right person to share this with..."

At that exact moment, Roberta strode out of the dining room wiping a few silver spoons clean with a cloth. "Konoe-sama, the utensils are already prepared. I hope my work is to your-" She suddenly stopped, looking at the paralyzed girl right in front of her. "Oh. Are you one of Yukihiro Ojou-sama's classmates?"

"Hi, Roberta-san!" Sakurako cheerfully waved. "That is Misa-chan, my best friend!"

Madoka smiled evilly. "She's a big enthusiast of the mistletoe custom."

Roberta looked up over their heads. "Oh. I understand. Well, that being the case..."

"Actually, I'm not such a big ent-!" Misa attempted to explain before the towering, kinda Lurch-ish bespectacled maid grabbed her face between her strong hands, then mechanically planted a kiss on her.

While waiting for the ensuing scream to come as soon as Misa's lips were released, Ayaka sighed from where she sat next to Cocone and Asuna. "That plant surely comes from the devil's own seeds..."

"It must," Asuna said. "You were the one who brought it, after all."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude–Evangeline's Christmas<strong>__:_

The church was quiet at noon. Even clergy had to eat, after all. The air was still, the pews empty and shining, the sound equipment turned off.

An empty bottle of sake crashed into the altar and shattered the tranquility.

Evangeline glared up at the carved figure behind it, teeth bared as she carried another bottle in her hand. "DAMN YOU!" she cried, pointing at it. "DAMN YOU! WHY?-! WHAT DID I EVER DO! I WAS _TEN_! I'D DONE _NOTHING__**, NOTHING **__TO DESERVE THIS! __**ANY OF THIS!**_" She gestured at herself, at her slightly stained and rumpled dress, her slightly mussed and tangling hair.

"You and your hacks kept saying if we believed in you, if we paid up with the church, if we sucked up to you, you'd protect us! That was the deal, right? If we joined your little protection racket, then you'd let the crops grow, protect us from demons, and we'd have a cushy place to go when we croaked! You said we'd be happy!" Evangeline raged. "_THAT WAS THE FUCKING DEAL!_"

She took a swig from her bottle, then threw it after the other, its shards tickling as it shattered as well. "WHERE WERE YOU WHEN _THIS_ HAPPENED TO ME?" she cried. "WHERE WERE YOU FOR MY CLAN WHEN THE BLOOD OVERCAME ME? WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I BEGGED FOR YOUR HELP TO CHANGE ME BACK? WHY DIDN'T YOU STOP ME FROM KILLING ALL THOSE PEOPLE? WHY WEREN'T YOU THERE TO PROTECT _THEM,_ YOU BASTARD! WHERE'S _THEIR _HAPPINESS? WHERE'S _**MY **_HAPPINESS?–!"

She screamed a child's scream of betrayal, of anger, wishing she had her power, wishing she could raze this place, bury its lies in her ice. Tears streamed down her face as she roared and asked the questions mankind has been asking, of itself, of other gods, of the universe, since time before memory.

"Master?"

The voice was quiet, innocent and concerned. Desperately, Evangeline hurried to wipe her face as Chachamaru slowly approached, her steps incongruously quiet for a girl who weighed as much as a motorcycle. She reached where Evangeline stood, the vampire's back to her, head slightly bowed and fists tight as she tried to maintain her dignity before her servant, never mind said servant must have heard her from a block away.

"What is it, Chachamaru?" Evangeline snapped, a slight hitch still in her voice, her vampiric state still unable to overcome the baser cause and effect of its baseline physiology.

"I wished to give you your gift, but we did not have a tree at home," Chachamaru said, sounding slightly hesitant.

Despite herself, Evangeline turned in curiosity.

Chachamaru was holding two plush dolls, rather crudely made. Clearly, their creator had tried to create a work of art, but hadn't had the experience to do it right. One was a slightly bulgy doll in an ill-fitting green suit, with a wild shock of red yarn on its head that looked like it had been stolen from a Raggedy Anne doll. A finely sandpapered branch had been secured to one hand with lots of yarn.

The other was a doll wearing a black dress, its bosom uneven and pointing in different directions, the lime-green yarn on its head crudely cut. What looked like the remains of two fork tines stuck up from where its ears should be.

Evangeline stared at the two dolls, then finally actually looked at Chachamaru. Scraps of cloth, string, yard, buttons and part of a fork had gotten into her hair, and there was a spot of what looked tree sap on her face. Her rubberized fingers were covered with all sorts of long gashes, and a length of string seemed stuck in one of her finger joints.

"I recall your disgust at the religious connotations of this season," Chachamaru continued, still holding them out, "And so have chosen to merely wish you a pleasant winter season."

Wordlessly, Evangeline raised a trembling hand, and took the two dolls. They were actually a decent likeness, if you knew what to look for. She looked up at her servant in amazement, wondering when Hakase had programmed her with this, and why.

Chachamaru knelt and awkwardly wrapped her arms around the little vampire. "A pleasant winter season to you, master," she said.

* * *

><p>"And then I saw Baby Jesus, floating in all His diapered golden glory, with a halo around His oversized charming head," Itoshiki Nozomu solemnly reminisced, as the dumbfounded teens, children, ermine and maid sitting around him just stared blankly. "He told me He was angry because we had turned His nativity into a cheap excuse for pointless commercial stunts..." He stood up, lifting an index finger up, "And despite being a non-believer, I had to agree with Him! Look around us! What is Christmas? Look into your hearts and answer me! Tonight, we sit here surrounded by expensive gifts, but can you say we know each other like true friends would? No! Despite our shallow claims of companionship, we human beings are islands floating in an eternal sea of loneliness!"<p>

Madoka hummed. "So that was what you saw after Misora kissed you, right?"

"We didn't kiss! Our lips were forced together!" Misora protested.

"No need to be so modest," Haruna teased her. "You must be one hell of a kisser, if you were good enough to make a grown man faint and have mystic hallucinations..."

Negi briefly opened his mouth to voice his first-hand opinion on the matter, but he quickly remembered how much of a horrible idea that was. Nodding to herself as she saw him quickly closing his mouth again, Chisame didn't have to pinch him.

"It's hopeless! You aren't even listening to me!" Itoshiki-sensei complained. "Oh, how can I show you the deviances of our current society when you freely frolic in them? Or am I the one in the wrong here? Or both? Truly, it's wrong to expect any meaning from a festivity born out of Pagan rites adapted by the early Church, but it's also wrong to simply discard any deeper meaning to this date, supposed to symbolize friendship and love! So we all are in the wrong, putting our vile miseries together!"

He threw his hands up. "DESPAIR! CHRISTMAS HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

"So, um, you aren't a religious person then, Sensei?" Konoka asked.

"I'm not a believer on the existence of any benevolent deity, no," Nozomu sighed. "I'm convinced, if any supreme beings do exist, they are simply gratuitously cruel to this world."

Elsewhere far above them, a black haired girl sneezed while she was on cosmic monitoring duty.

"No doubts those stupid humans again..." Skuld muttered and rubbed her tiny nose. "What do they expect from us?"

In a much higher plane of existence, a master and a mage sneezed.

Back with our stars, Madoka tried to steer the conversation back to some semblance of normality. "There's no need to be so pessimistic, Itoshiki-sensei. The pain is all in your own mind. If you just relax and let it go, you'll feel a lot better. Don't you agree, Roberta-san?"

Ayaka's maid nodded sparsely. "Having faith is a must to go on with your life. We're nothing without that to guide our steps." She vaguely gripped the small silver cross hanging from her neck.

"Back at your home, you celebrate Christmas with a piñata full of candy and toys, don't you?" Fuuka asked, looking up at her with bright eyes.

"No, that's in Mexico. I'm from Colombia," the maid replied uneasily.

"And what did you do there at Christmas?" Fumika took her unspoken turn to ask.

"Actually... I grew up at the slums, so I never had any Christmas to speak of," Roberta's discomfort was even more blatant now. "Most often, we'd just get some fireworks somehow and throw them around. It was a good Christmas if no one lost any fingers," she said wistfully.

She stopped there. The others waited for a moment to here if there was more to it, but no, that was all.

"Gee..." Asuna muttered. "I'm really sorry to hear that. I, um, used to think I had it bad while growing up, but..."

"I have no regrets about that part of my life," Roberta stiffly said. "What matters is I'm contented with my life now."

Everyone silently agreed on changing the subject yet again. "And how about you, Negi-kun?" Konoka managed to chirp. "How do you and you sister celebrate Christmas?"

At the mention of his 'sister' and that date, the boy cringed for half a second, much to Chisame's concern, but he still managed to keep his smile. "Oh, we don't do much, usually. It's just the two of us, so we simply spend the night drinking hot chocolate and chatting. When we studied together, Anya also joined us..."

"Who's Anya?" Misa asked with some sudden concern.

"My best friend at school," he said. "We graduated together, and then she moved to London. Sister promised to get me her address so I could write to her, too..."

"Is she... pretty?" Ayaka tried to sound casual. Asuna, Chamo, Haruna, Yue, Itoshiki, Misora, Madoka, Misa and Chisame, at least, weren't fooled.

"Pretty?" Negi blinked. "Hmmm... Never thought of her that way, actually..." Everyone but him noticed Ayaka, Misa and Misora's sudden sigh of relief, "... But yes, I can say she's pretty. Here, I have a picture of her," he pulled it out of his breast pocket, showing it up to everyone.

"Oh, she's really cute!" Konoka said.

"A lot, yeah!" Haruna nodded.

"Yes... quite, actually..." Ayaka looked at the very pretty image with worried eyes.

Asuna snickered. "Definitely a cute young thing, much better than any old lady!"

Ayaka growled. "Said by the chaser of old men!"

Hakase frowned. "Why was he carrying her picture in such a convenient place?"

"Now, now, be nice, you two," Konoka calmly said while standing up. "Negi-kun, since you like hot chocolate so much, I'll go prepare some for you, okay? Anyone else is interested?"

"You know I always am," Asuna said.

"Us too, if it isn't a bother," Yue pointed at Nodoka, then at herself.

"With cookies for us!" Fuuka pumped a fist up.

"No, thanks," Setsuna refused.

"I'm very thankful for your hospitality, Konoe-san," Negi accepted the offer with another bow.

"I've told you, Negi-kun, just call me Konoka. I won't take long," she said before going into the kitchen.

"Thanks goodness for Konoe-san," Ayaka observed. "If not for her, this home... just wouldn't be a fitting place for anyone."

"Yeah, that's just the- HEY!" Asuna shouted. "Whaddya mean by that?!"

"Oh ho ho ho! Well, even you agree with me there!"

Fumika, in the meanwhile, seemed to notice something out there and stuck her hands to the window's glass, looking intently outside. "Ahhhh! Look, look, everyone! It's snowing!"

"Snowing?" Nodoka approached her. "Ahh, it's true. So beautiful... It hasn't snowed here for years..."

Negi stiffened up nervously. "S-Snow?"

"Let's get out and play in the snow!" Fuuka suggested. "Snow angels! I can't remember the last time I made some!"

"Sounds fun, yes..." Kaede nodded.

"It's really snowing a lot," Madoka observed, looking up at the sky. "And so suddenly, too."

Chisame, remembering Chamo's earlier tale, was the first one to look back at Negi, finding him backing away against a corner and sitting back down. "I... I don't feel too well now..." His voice grew sadder. "I don't think I'd be able to go out there..."

"Eh? Why not?" Haruna sounded disappointed.

Asuna placed a hand on his forehead. "You don't seem to have a fever, and you haven't sneezed or coughed up. What is it, then? Headache? Stomach ache?"

"Nothing too serious, it's just... I don't want to go out. Really," he confessed. "I... I just don't feel like it..."

"Sensei..." Hakase breathed, now remembering Chamo's story as well.

Chisame sighed and crouched down at his side. "Sensei, do you trust me?"

"Eh?" He looked at her eyes. "What kind of question is that? Of course I-"

"Good. Then trust me here." She firmly held his right hand and stood up, quickly pulling him up with her towards the door.

"Chisame, wait!" Misora tried to protest.

Ayaka also attempted to demand an explanation, but Chisame already had reached the door, all but dragging Negi out with herself in a single pull. Asuna stared, confused, at them as they walked out together, the boy making small whimpering pleading sounds.

Under the softly falling snow.

"Chisame-san, please... I don't want to be here..."

Then she abruptly stopped, and then held him quiet, hugging him against herself firmly. _"Sensei, I'm here. All of us are. You don't have to be afraid,"_ she whispered. _"Trust us. Trust me. Maybe you have bad memories of the past, and I won't ask you to forget them... but try to build good memories of the present. We'll be here to help you with those. Okay?"_

He whispered back. _"Chamo told you-"_

_"Don't hold it against him,"_ she kept her voice low. _"I forced him to."_

For a moment, he simply stood motionless, feeling ashamed and scared as everyone looked at him and the snow continued falling on top of them. But then, weakly, he hugged her midsection back, resting his forehead against her body.

_"Thank you so very much, Chisame-san."_

She rubbed her knuckles against his scalp.

_"Silly baby."_

* * *

><p>As they stood there, the rest of the girls remained quiet and silent behind them, just watching and waiting. Even Konoka had come out with a cup of steaming cocoa between her hands, and Asuna briefly informed her on the situation, whispering into her ear.<p>

When Negi and Chisame finally broke the embrace, Ayaka took her turn to hug him, warm and softly. "I'm sorry," she said. "I won't ask about it, but if there's anything I can do..."

"It's okay. I'm... just overreacting, that's all," he replied. "Sorry to inconvenience you all when we should be having fun..."

"Nonsense," Yue told him. "If you want to express grief or anything like that, you should do it. Keeping it bottled up inside of you can't be good for you."

"Yue learned it the hard way," Haruna agreed.

"Indeed," Ayase confessed. "It took Nodoka and Haruna's help for me to realize that."

"You're... among friends here," the third librarian shyly offered. "No one will think badly of you if you just want to..."

When Ayaka finally let him go, Madoka gave him a hug as well. "C'mon, if you wanna cry, simply give a good cry and get that outta your system! After that, you'll feel much better." Misa couldn't help but noticing her friend seemed to be rather affectionate to him now, despite her earlier claims on directing feelings towards him.

"No, no, I'm okay, really," he shook his head. "I... don't feel like crying anymore. Thanks, everyone. I'll do my best to have my best Christmas memories with you!"

"Awwww, now that's the spirit!" Haruna cooed, happily glomping him away from Madoka, with a hug that pretty much sank his face between her breasts. "Our Sensei's a big boy now...!"

"Saotome-san, allow him to breathe!" Ayaka harshly commanded.

As soon as he was let go and allowed to gasp for air, however, Fuuka tackled him in a giggling strike that sent them both rolling into the snow.

"Sensei, Sensei, now you're feeling better, let's make snow angels!"

"Oneechan!" the more restrained twin told her. "Don't go so fast! He's just getting used to this!"

Ayaka turned to Kaede. "Nagase-san, you need to discipline them better!"

"Hey, I'm not their mother!" the definitely-not-a-ninja claimed.

Itoshiki sighed. "At least no one has started a sno-"

He was cut short by a snowball hitting his head.

"-wball fight yet," he finished with a sigh, the snow rolling down the back of his head.

"Asuna!" Konoka chided her closest friend.

With a mischievous glint in her green eye, Asuna smirked perversely. "What? This was getting too sappy. Don't worry, I'll only attack the deserving targets!" she laughed, tossing the second snowball in her hands at Ayaka...

... only for it to be effortlessly intercepted in midair by Roberta's right forearm before it could reach her beloved princess.

The maid focused her chilling sharp eyes on Asuna. _**"Ka-gu-ra-za-ka-sannnnn..."**_

Asuna couldn't help gulping. "... What?"

Ripping a whole chunk of snowy ground from before her feet and holding it up, Roberta screamed, _**"I'LL PROTECT OJOU-SAMA WITH MY LIFE... OR YOUR DEATH!"**_

"YAAAHHHH!" Asuna screamed. "She's gone nuts!"

Ayaka was already amassing snowballs in her own hands. "Roberta-san, step aside! This is only between the gorilla and me!"

"Who are you calling a gorilla, you prissy weirdo!" Asuna shouted back.

_**"Continue insulting Ojou-sama, and I'll make you swallow those bells... along with the hair they're attached to!"**_ Roberta threatened.

"Roberta-san, I've told you I can handle this myself!" the blond heiress protested.

Everyone else had just stopped to watch them with long suffering expressions.

"I'm starting to think you were right, Itoshiki-sensei," Misora observed. "This isn't a time for friendship and love after all."

"Well... They are the best friends in their own way..." Konoka lamely said.

"Wanna take bets on the winner?" Sakurako smiled.

"Against you? We'd need a Christmas miracle," Madoka answered.

But Negi only smiled.

For the first time in many years, he felt like having a Merry Christmas.

_Later:_

"Ahhh! Now that was a fun time!" Fuuka exhaled in a wide satisfied fashion, her pink tongue hanging out as she plopped down sitting on the living room's floor.

Ayaka grumbled as Roberta helped her to wipe the snow out of her hair. "You do have a very strange concept of 'fun', Narutaki-san."

"You only said that because I won," Asuna said.

"You didn't!" Ayaka shot back. "I landed five more hits than you!"

"All of those were illegal!" Asuna countered. "It doesn't count when you get help!"

"Since when? I understood it was an activity to be played in groups!"

"No, in our case, it was a personal duel! You didn't see Konoka helping me, did you?"

Hakase sat down on the couch, hugging herself, her teeth chattering. "I thought I was going to go under hypothermia out there..."

"Weren't you the one boasting about being used to cold labs just days before?" Chisame observed.

Satomi groaned, tilting her head aside. "The cold parts of labs don't get inside of your clothes like this," she shook her right sleeve, snow falling out of it in generous amounts.

"Maybe what we all need is a long hot bath to feel better..." Haruna suggested with a large smile. "Konoka, exactly how many can fit into your shower at once?"

"Like four at most, but since Negi-kun, Cocone-san and the twins are so small, any single of them could fit in with four others, I think... Five if we squeeze in tightly..." Konoka pondered slowly. The fact she seemed to be giving serious thought to the images no doubt in her head now freaked Chisame out.

Setsuna hoped no one was looking at her and noticing her own blush.

"Motion denied," Asuna categorically said.

"But-" Haruna began.

"No way," Yue added.

"It doesn't have to be-" Misa tried to point out.

"I think I'd prefer go dying in the snow," Itoshiki cut her short.

"You prefer dying, period," Chisame pointed out.

"Well, there's another thing we all can do together to warm each other up. It's very entertaining, very thrilling, it'll bring us all together in a way we haven't experienced before, and all good parties have it," Haruna tried another approach.

Everyone, even Misa, gave her a look of one degree of shock or another.

Haruna scowled. "I mean dancing!"

Everyone else sighed in relief.

"Well, I think that's a great idea!" Konoka laughed. "I'll go put on some music, okay?"

"I'll dance with you, Sensei!" Misa and Ayaka said at once, each one grabbing one of Negi's arms.

"But I don't know how..." he protested.

"I'll teach you!" they both said at the same time again, then shared a hostile look.

Then a soft voice calmly said, "Can I?"

Ayaka and Misa turned around to see Cocone of all people standing before them, looking up at them with those huge and serene eyes. Somehow, they just couldn't shoot her petition down without feeling bad about it.

"Do you know how to dance?" the cheerleader dubiously asked.

"Yes, I do," Cocone nodded.

"This one humbly thinks it's a good idea," Kaede butted in. "They both are the same size, so it'll be easier for him than having to do it with someone much taller-de gozaru."

"That may be true, but still..." Ayaka still was hesitating.

Cocone held a hand for Negi as the music started. "Please?"

He gulped, worming his right arm out of Misa's grip and taking Cocone's hand. "Okay. Thanks."

At the same time, Haruna grabbed Chisame by surprise. "You don't know either, do you, Chisame-chan?"

"No, and I don't want to learn now!" Hasegawa all but yelled.

"Nonsense! Never leave for tomorrow what you can do tonight! Just relax, and I'll lead each step of the way!" she promised as she began to dance around with her, cackling with glee.

"Sakurako is an expert dancer!" Madoka announced out of the blue, then randomly pushed the third cheerleader towards Satomi. "Come on, Sakurako, show the Prof how it's done!"

"M-Me?" Shiina squeaked.

Hakase took a brief look at Negi with Cocone, then at Chisame with Haruna, and finally sighed softly. "I... I would not be adverse to the notion, actually..." she said, shyly grabbing Sakurako's hands.

Shiina took in a deep breath, blushing as a nervous smile grew on her face. "I'm-I'm going to do my best!"

Ayaka looked at Itoshiki. "Sensei, are you versed in dancing?"

"Of course I am!" he said. "My family's social status forced me to take many lessons on that art! I learned ballet, the foxtrot, the tango, bellydancing–"

They all blinked. "Belly dancing?" Negi said

"I don't want to talk about it," Itoshiki said.

The blonde roughly pushed Asuna into his arms. "Great! Now please see if you can pull a miracle and heal this girl's two left feet!"

"What? No!" Asuna gasped. "I really don't want to-!"

Ayaka smirked. "Are you going to tell no to a cultured, refined and wealthy older man?"

Asuna looked up at Nozomu's expressionless bishounen face and gulped, her face flushing just a bit before regaining her usual apathy. "Like I'd have any problem with it either way. Lead the way, Teach," she commanded harshly, beginning to clumsily move her feet around. Itoshiki sighed and started to show her how was it done.

Setsuna was looking in disbelief at it all when she felt a soft pair of arms turned her around and grabbed her, all but forcing her into a dance position. "Oj- K-Konoe-san?"

Konoka smiled sweetly at her. "May I have this dance, Set-chan?"

The swordsgirl fumbled with the sounds before managing to actually speak. "I-I have no idea how to-"

"That's why I'm here, silly. I'll take care of everything," Konoka promised before beginning to gracefully move around with the thinner girl in her arms.

Misora grumbled, then looked at Ayaka and offered a hand to her. "I'm not going to stay sitting here watching like a fool. What about her?"

Ayaka blinked. "Do you want... to actually dance with me?"

"It's not like I'm asking for your hand in marriage!"

Ayaka thought it over before relenting. As long as she was on the dance floor, she'd have a chance to get Negi-sensei after he was done with the creepy brat. She began dancing with Misora, asking her, "By the way, how comes your little friend knows how to dance so well?"

"Beats me. There's a lot about her even I don't know."

"Hmmm." A pause. "You don't do it too badly, either."

"Well, I don't plan being a nun for the rest of my life..." she confessed.

Ayaka smiled. "That's actually good to hear. It'd be a waste otherwise."

Misora looked at her in stupor. "Huh?!"

"I mean, it's a waste for ANY girl to spend her life like that!" Ayaka corrected herself, then hastily added, "Not that I don't have a lot of respect for the profession, they do very good charitable work."

Misora sighed in relief. "Oh, that!"

Yue was shaking her head to herself when she was caught by Fuuka, and Nodoka by Fumika. "So, you two don't know how to dance, do you?" the mischievous twin asked.

"Errr, hummm, actually..." Nodoka fidgeted.

"I knew it!" Fuuka triumphantly said. "I told ya so, Fumika-chan! What are we waiting for?"

Fumika lowered her head to Nodoka. "I hope you don't mind if I-"

Nodoka shyly smiled at her. "Not at all."

Maybe she could dance with Negi-sensei before the night was over.

Madoka looked at Kaede, Misa and Roberta. "Well, I guess that only leaves the four of us!"

"You three enjoy yourselves," the maid said. "I actually prefer staying here."

"Don't say that! This must be done in pairs! Do you know how to dance?" Kugimiya asked.

"No," the servant dryly answered.

"Neither this one," Nagase confessed.

"Well, then you take Roberta-san and I'll teach Kaede, Misa," Madoka suggested.

Misa grumbled as she walked up to the maid and reluctantly took her around. Why had she been stuck with the female Frankenstein?

"Please be patient with this one, Madoka-dono," Kaede smiled. "I'm no good with these things..."

"There's only one way to improve at them," Kugimiya said as they, too, began.

Silently, Chamo stared with rapt fascination at all the girls dancing with each other.

It almost was enough to make him forget his inner pain at the refusal of Haruna's earlier ideas.

* * *

><p>It turned out that Satomi quickly got tired after a short time dancing, or so she claimed. Sakurako could believe it, from the way she had moved all through the dance; she simply wasn't used to it at all. The scientist excused herself to go to the kitchen for a glass of water, but right before going out the door, Sakurako noticed her giving her a slight signal with her head to follow her.<p>

At least that was the impression Shiina got, hoping her mind (and wishes) weren't playing tricks on her. Discreetly, she followed her; everyone else was otherwise busy at that moment.

Satomi stood now with her back turned to her, drinking a glass of water. Sakurako patiently waited as Hakase put the glass down and remained still and silent for some time. Finally, the black haired girl said, "Shiina-san?"

"Y-Yeah?"

"Now that I think about it, we never talked again about what happened the other day, did we?"

"Well, I..." Sakurako looked away, "You said you weren't ready for any relationship of that kind, so I chose never to touch that topic again... at least not until you said otherwise..."

"Yes, but we never talked about anything else, either..."

Sakurako chuckled shakily. "Well, we never used to talk at all before that, remember?"

"I know..." Hakase sighed. "I apologize. It's my fault..."

"No, of course it isn't! It was me who forced such a thing on you. I disrupted your life's normal routine!"

"Many things had disrupted it before that..." Satomi mused.

"Huh?"

"Shiina-san..." Hakase began, "I have been put through a lot of unusual developments lately."

"You mean since Negi-kun moved in with you?"

"Yes. It all has forced me to re-evaluate a lot of my prior beliefs. And do you know what? That scares me. I have lost my former personal balance. I have had to confront a lot of parts of me I ignored I had, or I thought I had overcome. Do you know I once had a strong emotional attachment to a Robotics Club sempai?"

"You did?"

"Yes. His name was Saotome Kazuya. No relationship to Haruna-san. I have checked. _Extensively. _He helped us to develop our earlier artificial intelligence prototypes, through a model codenamed the Ikariya, physically patterned upon the cephalopods of the vulgarly known as 'squids' genre. The Ikariya featured basic levels of self awareness and needs, and even could articulate elemental degrees of verbal communication-"

Seven minutes of techno babble later...

"-and that was why it couldn't have waste removal mechanisms. But sorry, it seems I have digressed. As I was saying, I had a rather strong emotional craving for Kazuya-sempai's company, although I never had the courage to inform him about it. On the day of his graduation, however, I gathered enough bravery to tell him. I went to his private workshop, where he and his classmates were celebrating, and he seemed very happy to see me. He told me he had something very important to announce to me. Foolishly, for a moment I believed he would return my feelings. Then he introduced his very young landlady to me. He had just asked for her hand in marriage."

"Satomi-chan..."

"He seemed so happy..." Satomi sniffed.

"Satomi-chan, I..."

"Naturally, I couldn't tell them about my unrequited affections. After that, I focused exclusively on my research again. I began working on Chachamaru shortly afterwards. At first, we had thought of giving her a less human-like, smaller and more compact body. But after my emotional breakdown, I decided to infuse her with all the traits I lacked. I made her feminine and elegant, beautiful and graceful, charming and sociable, with large brea– um, I made her perfect. More human than I ever could be."

"Wait, so Chachamaru-chan really is a robot?" Sakurako asked, stunned.

"... You didn't know?"

"I had heard the rumors, but I always thought they were exaggerations! Like what everyone says about Suzumiya-sempai, that she's some weird cultist intent on sacrificing this world to alien gods..."

"That's ridiculous. Suzumiya-sempai is clearly nothing but an unbalanced individual with a morbid fascination with impossibilities! Regardless, while I was working on her, I met Chisame. At first I didn't think much of her, but later on, I came to depend on her for practically everything in my daily life, beyond the laboratory. Chisame became, actually, the most important person in my life."

"Yeah, like your sister..." Shiina nodded slowly. "You told me... that day."

"Actually..." Satomi whispered reluctantly. "Maybe it's not as clear as that."

"How so?"

"Back there, seeing Chisame and Sensei hugging each other, I... I realized how they both were much closer to each other than either one is to me. Don't ask me how, but they just... click better than I could with either of them. Can I blame them? After all, she's so much... prettier than me..." She pressed her hands down against the kitchen table. "So... pretty..."

Sakurako put a hand on her left shoulder. "You're jealous?"

"No. It's just I... I don't know anymore. That's what bothers me the most. I used to have all the answers about everything, but now, I have been left an ignorant about myself. I want to be with Sensei and Chisame. I always want to be with them. I feel... like I felt with Kazuya-sempai, you see? But now, I'm even more afraid to tell them than I was with Kazuya-sempai, and that in turn scares me even more, because I'll lose them if I tell them, but I'll also lose them if I don't, like I did with him. I suppose it's unavoidable, and for everyone's best, since they would be happier with each other, assuming they ever are ready for it, but... I still can't help for it to hurt... to hurt me so much..."

"You're very confused."

"Yes, a lot. And even more since you kissed me. I admired you because unlike me, you had the courage to declare your feelings. I think you're very appealing and attractive, too, but... that only makes my feelings even more complicated. Because, yes, I'm starting to like you too, but it'd be even worse to bring someone else into this, and... sorry, I'm just so much of a twisted person..."

She was sure Sakurako would be angry by then. How could she not? But much to her shock, when she finally dared to look at her face, she only saw a smile there. "Of course you are. All mad scientists are," she reminded her.

Satomi sniffed once more. "I'm sorry. I don't know if I ever could love you as much as-"

Sakurako simply hushed her quietly, then softly placed a kiss on her lips. A small, tender one this time, brief and fast. After the kiss, she still was smiling. "What if we give ourselves a chance to see if we can change that?"

Hakase only lowered her head, timidly savoring the sweet flavor now in her mouth. "You mean..."

Sakurako grabbed her hands. "I'm not angry at you. Let's just see if we can work this out. One step at a time. Okay?"

Hakase blinked several times, nervous and scared out of her wits, before finally making a decision and giving a brief, hesitating peck of her own upon Sakurako's lips. "Thank you. You're a wonderful person."

The cheerleader giggled. "Oh my! That's a very unscientific thing to say!"

Hakase weakly smiled back. "You're right. You are a highly sentimentally developed individual, gifted with enough of an undecipherable charming presence to impose a brisk, radical alteration of my personal paradigms."

"I didn't understand a single thing of what you've just said, so yeah, that sounds more like the you I know and love."

They hugged. "One step at a time," Hakase reminded her.

Sakurako rested her chin on her shoulder. "Hopefully they all will be like this one."

"Amen."

* * *

><p>Chisame thought she was starting to get the basic gist of this dancing stuff.<p>

At the very least, Haruna kept her huge mouth shut for once while doing it, and Chisame was thankful for that. True, the smug and kind of provocative strange way she looked at her while dancing unnerved her, but that was Saotome, a tease to the end in any situation, no matter how inappropriate it was.

Out the corner of her eye, Chisame saw Itoshiki had handed Asuna over to Ayaka of all people, both girls angrily trying their best to step on each other's feet and avoid being stepped on. Yet, somehow, they seemed to be dancing well, more or less. They simply had that kind of dynamics when forced to act together at something.

Meanwhile, Nozomu himself had switched over to Roberta, which made him look somewhat more relaxed, less distressed. Perhaps because their sizes were more even, but most likely because the age taboo was gone. The maid still clumsily stepped on his feet with each movement, but he apparently thought it was a small price to pay for shaking the awkward Lolicon imagery off himself. Plus he probably enjoyed it, on some level.

Misa had, in turn, taken Misora, and both of them stared tensely at each other, as if guessing their respective ultimate intentions for the night, but neither willing to admit knowledge of that.

Fuuka and Fumika had traded partners, and Nodoka was having serious problems now keeping the pace of the extroverted twin, while Yue felt more at ease following Fumika's cue.

Konoka still wasn't letting Setsuna go. Hakase and Shiina had just disappeared. Where were they? Madoka and Kaede had sat down for some drinks, and were chatting amiably.

Chisame's feet were getting tired, but it could be worth it if she could think of a way to incorporate dancing into her web routine. The only problem being most fanboys she knew wouldn't be interested on solo dances unless they were of a kind she definitely wasn't willing to show.

Maybe she could compromise and put on a small dance number with Hakase, assuming she would be willing to go with it? Somehow, the idea of dancing with her sounded almost... entertaining. She pictured Hakase dolled up in a cute pink outfit, maybe with her hair made up in twin buns or two higher pigtails, and couldn't avoid chuckling to herself. Haruna smirked at that, but thankfully she didn't ask or comment on it.

Then, a loud gasp from Ayaka seemed to paralyze everyone on the spot.

Following the blonde's shocked glare, they all saw Negi and Cocone had accidentally (at least that was the general consensus, but even years after the matter, Cocone still wouldn't give clear confirmation one way or another) ended up together under the mistletoe.

Chisame's sudden grimace would have made Jim Carrey envious.

Nodoka had gone as pale as a snowman.

Fuuka and Fumika cooed, then shared a malicious giggle.

Asuna let a sarcastic whistle out.

Roberta's face betrayed absolutely no change at all.

Itoshiki, on the other hand, ran his hands through his hair, then began to pluck it out. "Underaged debauchery wherever I look... and I've become an accomplice of it..."

Haruna pumped a fist up. "Way to go, Nunny-chan! You beat us all to it!"

"Well, well..." Kaede smiled. "And now what will you do, Negi-bouzou?"

"W-Well, of course I... I can't...!" his tongue tripped on itself, and he simply stood baffled and quiet for a moment, but then Cocone grabbed his chin, held his face a bit higher, and landed a short, stable but noisy, kiss on his lips.

"C-C-COCONE-SAN!" Negi quickly backed away, his face resembling a tomato.

"DAMMIT, COCONE, I'M TELLING SISTER SHAKTI!" Misora yelled.

"It was just nature following its course," the smaller girl indifferently said.

"What kind of excuse is that?!" Ayaka exclaimed.

"I think it's a logical one," Asuna mused. "Nature is just killing the dinosaurs with this Ice Age."

"Shut up, Asuna-san!" Yukihiro snapped. "Not only is your statement offensive, but biologically incorrect!"

"Ahhh, bite me, Jurassic Park refugee!"

Chisame sighed, mortified. She definitively wasn't looking forward to the New Year's Party.

Cocone lowered her head humbly, looked aside showing total apathy, and for the briefest instant she was sure no one was paying her any attention by being too busy recovering from shock or bickering with each other, made a very diminutive smile for herself.

* * *

><p><em>December the 26th:<em>

The three young people still was sitting in dumbfounded silence around Ayaka's Christmas gift. Ever since they unwrapped it the night before, they still couldn't decide what to do with it.

Finally, Negi said, "I just don't have the heart to toss it into the trash..."

"I don't have the strong arms to toss it into the trash!" Chisame mouthed.

"But it's taking space that could be used for my experiments!" Hakase complained.

Chisame turned to her. "Time to Pactio up, genius. Robot arms time!"

Chamo skipped over to the huge bust made of finely sculpted stone at the corner and knocked on it with a paw. He chuckled. "Looks like that Class Rep likes nothing better than a rock-hard Bro!"

Negi blinked in confusion. "I don't get it. Was that a joke?" the teacher asked.

"Maybe we just should tie you to it and dump it into the river," Hasegawa told Chamo. "We'd kill two birds with one stone that way. Literally. Or an ermine with a stone. Good enough for me in either case."

"I'll go get the rope," Satomi announced, pulling out her Pactio card. She picked up the bust.

Negi gave his friend a sympathetic look. "In case you don't get to see the next Christmas, Chamo, I just want to tell you-"

The weasel held a paw up. "Bro. Before we continue this conversation, I think there's a new concept I must teach you. Have you ever heard about 'Bros before Hos'...?"

A huge stone bust dropped on the ermine's head.

"Oopsy," Hakase said blandly, her backpack's arms empty hands flailing. "Butterfingers."

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	11. Super Dodgeball Competition! Go, Girls!

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader and co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Super Dodgeball Competition! Go, Girls!<strong>

* * *

><p>A few days after, the weather had cleared up again, at least enough to allow most of the students to freely play outside.<p>

Class 2-C was having one of its usual innocent paintball shootouts near the lake. Like always, it all was fun and games until Tsukamoto Tenma almost lost an eye.

Class 2-E was having a baseball game between Suzumiya's small faction and basically everyone else at the classroom, and against all odds, or perhaps not knowing her reputation, Suzumiya was winning the game almost single handedly.

High School Class 1-C was supposed to be on a picnic, although Chad had just wandered away to feed stray kitties with Chachamaru and Sasaki-san from Yukari-sensei's class. Ishida hadn't even shown up to begin with. Chizuru had scared half of her female classmates away already, and Rukia and Ichigo had just left with a lame excuse involving an inexistent shared cousin falling into a cement mixer.

Again, Class 2-A's activities were one of the relatively scarce spots of normality around. And that was something horribly scary in and of itself.

The four girls known as the Sports Quartet were happily playing volleyball apart from any bothersome interlopers.

"In the air!" Akashi Yuuna said as she sent the ball flying up again.

"Got it!" the shorthaired Izumi Ako intercepted it, sending it in the direction of a pink haired classmate. "All yours, Makie!"

"Yeah!" Sasaki Makie hit the ball towards the tallest one of the four. "Say, guys... Now the term's ending, do you think Negi-kun will teach us again next year?"

"Who knows?" Akira calmly said, sending the ball back to Yuuna. "I wouldn't mind."

"Yeah, things have been much more entertaining since he's here." The chocolate haired girl served over to Ako.

The assistant nurse stopped for a moment to catch her breath back, holding the ball between her hands. "He's... He's truly doing his best at it," she said with clear admiration. "Sometimes I feel bad when we just do whatever we want. What if we get him into trouble?"

Yuuna winked an eye at her. "Don't be such a worrywart! This school's a piece of cake, actually. Even a chicken could teach here. Oh, good morning, Boo-sensei!" she greeted as she suddenly noticed a teacher passing by next to them.

"Bu-kawwk!" the teacher saluted back with his strange foreign accent before walking away into the distance.

"Yeah, but Negi-sensei's still only ten years old," Makie giggled nervously. "Smart as he is, do you really think he can help me pass the final test?"

"Yep, and unlike Takahata-sensei, we can't ask him adult questions," Yuuna chuckled. "We might as well just have to teach him about that stuff!"

"Iincho and Misa seem intent to, anyway," Akira observed.

"You guys are terrible," Ako sent the ball for Makie.

"I'd like to be his big sis!" the pink haired gymnast sighed dreamingly. "And I'd hug him to sleep, and tell him stories, and— Oops!" the ball flew past her in her distraction. "Sorry!"

"Keep your head on your shoulders, 'Sis'!" Yuuna teased her.

"Geez, don't be so mean!" Makie complained while running after the ball. "I might be very good at it, you know. I mean, if it's simple enough for Hakase to do…"

Then someone else picked the ball up for her. Makie stopped before that person. "Ahhh, thanks for picking it up!"

But that person didn't give the ball back. She and those behind her only looked at the quartet, before the newcomers' lead simply barked a brief and serious, "Sisters? Don't make us laugh. We can clearly guess your true improper, deviant intentions!"

Makie gasped, backing away. "W-Wait, now I remember you! You are—!"

"Oh crapola," Yuuna clenched her teeth.

Ako felt like fainting again.

* * *

><p>Headmaster Konoe stood up while all the gathered teachers waited in expectant, respectful silence. All but Kuroi-sensei, who was too busy with her PSP, Hanyuu-sensei, who was flipping through an issue of <em>Teen Heartbreak Magazine<em>, and Yukari-sensei, who sat with her head hanging down and tiny Zs escaping her mouth.

"For the last point of our meeting," the old man said, after a brief fit of dry coughing, "I wish to remind everyone that, until our final tests for this term are finished, all extracurricular and club activities will be suspended, to grant our students more time to prepare themselves. I suggest you all to encourage them to devote as much of their time as they can to it, and not waste time on silly things like writing fanfiction about that boy wizard. That being said, I'm glad to announce the overall academic performance of our students has greatly improved during this term. I congratulate you all on your achievements."

He seemed to pause to regain his breath, then continued just as solemnly, "Now I shall grant you the deserved reward for your continuous efforts." All teachers, even the normally calm and collected Takamichi, perked up with sudden glint in their eyes, "Your term-end bonuses!"

Now that suddenly snapped Yukari-sensei out of her hibernation. "DEBT COVERAGE!"

Konoemon sighed and decided to start with her. "Tanizaki Yukari-sensei, Spanish," he held an envelope up.

The pretty brown haired snatched it away with a radiant expression. "My life is SAVED!"

"Are the loan sharks closing in again?" Itoshiki-sensei asked.

Yukari nodded. "They've started leaving threatening notes at the door. Even saying they'll kidnap Nyamo..."

The young athletic teacher sitting next to her rubbed her temples. "Why did I have to be your best and only friend?"

"Kurosawa Minamo-sensei, Swimming Coach" the principal handed her envelope to her. The cute woman's eyes shone until she saw the amount of her payment. "... Why did I get less than Yukari?"

Yukari looked aside, seeming offended. "The nerve of you! Don't tell me you already forgot what you did to the pool!"

"No, wait, that was your fault!" Kurosawa-sensei protested.

"You can't prove anything!" Yukari squirmed around nervously.

"Fujisawa Masamichi-sensei, Track and Field Coach," Konoemon did their best to ignore them, turning to a lanky, badly shaved man with unruly black hair and a long, unremarkable face.

"Try not to blow it all in booze, Fuji!" Yukari mocked him.

"I'd never do such a thing!" Fujisawa claimed.

"What a horrible liar! You're already smelling of liquor, and it's only nine o'clock!" Tanizaki insisted.

"I-It's just my cologne!" the man lied rather badly.

"You should stop drinking your cologne then. It's supposed to be used on your skin," Midori-sensei remarked, triggering several different degrees of laughter from the other teachers, from Takamichi's held back chuckles to Yukari's crass guffaws. Even Konoemon chuckled under his breath. Only Negi sat in confused silence, Itoshiki was too jaded to feel anything, and Fujisawa simply muttered in embarrassment.

"Oh, what will we do with you... Sugiura Midori-sensei, World History," the dean gave her the envelope. The busty young redhead smiled while the tiny green parakeet on her right shoulder flapped its wings around. "I know you'll give it a good use."

"You still saving for that trip to America?" Yukari asked her.

"What is it to you?" Midori scoffed at her.

"Hanyuu Mimi-sensei, Biology," Konoemon walked over to the wavy haired blonde with thick round glasses. She still was submerged into her reading. "Ahem. Hanyuu Mimi-sensei, Biology."

"Yeah?" Hanyuu-sensei mechanically asked.

"Your term-end bonus," Konoe patiently explained.

"Um, yeah," she extended a hand. "Thanks. You're a dearie. Yeah."

"That's no way to— Oh, forget it!" another woman with glasses, this one a few years older, taller and bustier, with short dark brown hair, began to scold her only to hold herself back. "Ohh, forget it! There's no point on talking to you!"

"Ririko Kagome-sensei, Math," Konoemon offered her an envelope next. She expressed her thanks with a deep bowing of her head.

"Nekonome Shizuka-sensei, Social Studies," a third pretty woman with glasses, this one also with golden hair hat fell to her shoulders, received the bonus with a contented catlike smile.

The rather long list went on.

"Takahata Takamichi-sensei, Art..."

"Thank you, Konoe-sensei."

"Itoshiki Nozomu-sensei, Classic Literature..."

"Money? Money doesn't make happiness! I should know! I grew up surrounded by luxury, and yet my life has been nothing but a long string of—"

Koenoemon reached to take the check back. "Well, if you don't want it..."

"... On second thought, I'll take it."

"Kuroi Nanako-sensei, Japanese History."

"... I take it my petition to get paid in points for the Animate stores was rejected?"

"Yes," Konoemon simply said before moving on, "Aoki Daisuke, Elementary 3-A Homeroom Teacher..."

"Konoemon-sensei," the young man helplessly pleaded, "About my petition to be moved to a class with older, less creepily forward students...?"

If he heard him, Konoe gave no signs of acknowledging it. "Shirai Sae-sensei, Elementary 3-B Homeroom Teacher..."

The stern looking black haired woman with glasses thanked in a way similar to Ririko Kagome's.

"Mido Miko-sensei, Sex Education…"

"Ah, could you, ah please put it on the table…?" the purple-haired teacher said, eyes half-lidded, hands nowhere to be seen.

"Boo Welker-sensei, Ornithology..."

"BU-KAWWK! BU-KAWWK!"

Shirai-sensei leaned into Aoki and whispered in a conspirative way into his ear, "I still think he's a chicken... A giant chicken..."

Aoki-sensei blinked, nodded stiffly, and then warily, slowly, backed apart from her.

After going past Nitta-sensei, Kimura-sensei, Jinroku-sensei, Nikaido-sensei, Kitami Reika-sensei, Fujimura Taiga-sensei and a few others I won't be as cruel as to list here one by one, Konoemon finally walked to Negi's side.

"Negi Springfield-sensei."

"Yes, sir?"

The old man gave him two pats on a shoulder. "As the youngest member of our facility, you have proven yourself as someone with skills and determination far beyond their age. I believe you have, in the short amount of time you've been with us, more than earned a heartfelt congratulation from all of us."

The other teachers stood up and clapped their hands for him, even Yukari, Nitta and Itoshiki. While it lasted, Negi's eyes watered up. "Everyone... Thank you so very much..."

"However..." Konoemon cautioned.

"... What?" Negi blinked.

"There is something I'm afraid I must request from you to allow you full time membership as a permanent part of this facility for the next term," the old man seriously cautioned.

"Eh?" Negi helplessly babbled, feeling an ill omen about it.

* * *

><p>The Dean's words still weighed heavily on Negi's mind as he walked out of the meeting room with Itoshiki.<p>

"If a single one of them fails at the test, I won't be allowed to stay..." he mumbled, shambling ahead like a broken shell of a boy. Itoshiki had never thought he'd see the day when himself would look relatively calm and contented while walking at the child's side. It didn't feel right at all. It was like someone had stuck the 110 volt universe into the 220 volt socket. He looked around nervously, afraid he'd suddenly start sexually attracting geriatrics.

"A certainly unexpected turn of events, but I'm sure the Headmaster does have his reasons," the adult exposed. "So far, all your activities here, other than the fight against the immortal sorceress who nearly took your life and damned your soul to an eternity of service to darkness, posed no challenge at all, and a mage's life is filled with maddening responsibilities beyond the ken of any normal man. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll succeed at this task."

"Thank you, Itoshiki-sensei," Negi honestly said.

"Otherwise, you won't be charged with even worse burdens later on," Nozomu completed.

"You have quite a strange notion of optimism," the boy teacher observed.

"The reward for work well done is more work," the older man quoted, proving he was, in fact, actually a literature teacher.

As they walked out into the open, Negi was pretty much tackled by a bawling Makie. "Negi-senseiiiii! We're being attacked! Save us, pleaseeee!" She held a hand up. "Look, they even hurt me! I got a boo-boo!"

Nozomu sighed. "Acting younger than him won't make him look any better, Sasaki-kun!"

Makie sniffed, then pointed an accusing finger at him. "You shouldn't talk! This is all YOUR fault, Despair-sensei!"

"MINE?!" the man gasped. "I have an iron-clad alibi! And women are always the ones hitting on me! You can't prove anything! I know a good lawyer! Well, point in fact, I know Kimura, and _she _knows the lawyers, but still…"

Negi gulped, examining the nearly-microscopic wound on Makie's hand. "Who did this to you, Sasaki-san?"

"A horrible heartless monster!" she cried. "A brutal beast! A cruel machine of destruction who ran all over us! We never had a chance!"

"Ah. You mean Kitsu-san," Nozomu coolly understood.

Makie sobbed, then nodded just once.

Near there, Kitsu Chiri sneezed and rubbed her nose. "Maybe the weather's still too cold?"

"You think so?" Kafuka blinked, standing at her side and currently holding the ball. "I feel just wonderful! Surely the goosebumps prickling across my skin as my teeth want to chatter is merely my body's way of celebrating the seasons!"

"Give that ball back! It's ours, and so is this place!" Yuuna complained while the much taller, much blonder Kimura Kaere easily held her back with only a hand put over the area between her chest and her neck.

"I don't remember you ever claiming exclusive rights over this sector of campus, Akashi-san!" Chiri sternly lectured. "Furthermore, we used this area long before you even graduated from elementary school! It's just natural for us to have priority right to it!"

"Please, don't fight..." Ako weakly pleaded. "I, for one, am willing to leave if I must..."

"AKO!" another voice called out. "Don't even think of giving them the pleasure!"

The girls looked back to see Asuna arriving the scene, closely followed by Ayaka, Konoka, Haruna, Yue, Nodoka and Kazumi.

"I'll handle this, Asuna-san," the blond heiress stepped forward. "Kitsu-san! From one Class Rep to another, I demand an explanation on this!"

"But Chiri-chan isn't our Class Rep..." Hitou Nami pointed from the back of the 2-F group, although no one paid her any attention, much less Chiri herself.

"Your friends have been hogging our old playground, and we have need of it!" Kitsu shouted back. "The only proper thing for you all to do is stepping back for your Sempais!"

"Says who?" Asuna barked. "They were here before, weren't they? First come, first serve!"

"We served ourselves three years before you!" Kaere exclaimed. "We could sue you over you disrespect of our seniority privileges!"

Ayaka put a hand next to her mouth and laughed. "OH, HO HO HO! Of course, I had forgotten! Silly us! We shouldn't abuse fragile, senile senior citizens like you!"

Two perfectly symmetrical veins popped up on Chiri's wide forehead. "What have you just said, you decadent arrogant aristocrat?"

Asuna looked over at the librarians. "What did she just mean by that?"

"Stuck up rich bitch," Haruna translated.

Baka Red blinked a few times. "Oh. Not like I don't agree with that, but still—"

"ASUNA-SAN!" Ayaka yelled. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?"

"Can I make up a side without you in it?"

* * *

><p>By the time Makie led Negi and Nozomu there, things had escalated into a full-on war in progress, with pretty much all of the school watching at the sidelines.<p>

"Catfight! Catfight! Rip your clothes off! There's some mud over there! Kitsu-sempai, dunk them in there!" Honsho Chizuru whistled madly. Next to her, Orihime exhaled deeply, wishing for Rukia and her pacifier punch to be there.

"Excuse us, please!" Negi pushed his way past a group of boys taking pictures. "And put those cameras down, please! I mean it!" He eventually made it to where Munakata Shiho stood up fuming angrily. "Munakata-san, what's the situation?"

"Ah, Sensei! Those awful high school girls are pushing your students around! Even Mana Onee-sama has been involved!" the redheaded short girl noticed him. "I wanted to help, but she told me to stay back!"

The tall boy with blondish hair and thick brown sideburns standing next to her snorted, with his hands in his pockets. "She can defend herself, Shiho. You'd only be in her way..."

"That's a cruel thing to say, Tate Oniichan!" the girl cried, her four pigtails flailing around like the (supposed) snakes on Medusa's head. "Negi-sensei, save your students!"

"Of course!" he strode ahead without waiting any further, despite Makie and Itoshiki's unheard warnings.

Tate Yuuichi looked down at Shiho and mumbled. "Man, why did you push him into doing that? He's just a kid! They'll eat him alive!"

Shiho huffed, looking aside. "It's his duty, like it or not!"

Makie pushed Nozomu ahead. "It's your duty, too! So honor it, okay?"

He still tried to resist. "But I believe on allowing youth to express itself no matter what! Plus, I'm sure our insurance will cover all injuries!"

Meanwhile, Negi was already separating Chiri and Ayaka from pulling each other's hair off, much to the disappointment of a large sector of the public. "Enough! E-Enough, I say!" he tried to sound firm. "This is no way for young ladies to behave themselves! You're going to stop right now!"

"Negi-sensei!" Ayaka blushed, immediately stopping. "I... I'm sorry about this, but these vandals were offending and threatening our classmates! And they simply do not understand reason!"

"You were the ones who stole our rights to use these grounds, relegating us to those near the kindergarten!" Chiri accused, pointing a finger at 2-A. "Do you have any idea of how annoying it is, to practice SERIOUS SPORTS next to a classroom of pre schoolers?! The creepy one with bells in her hair and the blond one were competing to see whose swimsuit could seduce their teacher!"

"Hey, we aren't kindergarteners!" a small child with stupidly long blond hair shrieked from the crowd. "We're in third grade! And we don't enjoy playing next to you, either!"

The even tinier pale girl with long black hair at her left nodded while suggestively sucking her lollipop, creeping out all males in sight. "You tell 'em, Rin-chan..."

"It's... It's all my fault!" Kaga Ai wailed.

"No, it isn't!" Nami told her. "Chiri's right, 2-A abuses its connections!"

Asuna narrowed her eyes. "What are you implying with that?"

"Well, Konoe-san's grandpa is the Dean, and Akashi-san's dad is a teacher," Tsunetsuki Matoi calmly took a brief moment off from stalking her latest crush. "We're only saying what no one else dares to; you guys seem to take a lot of breaks too often..."

"You even are the protagonists of this story!" Kafuka pointed out.

A sudden blunt silence fell all over the school.

Two crows passed by flying and cawing way above Kafuka's head, and only when they were gone, everyone began to move again.

"... But you guys have taken a lot of protagonism away from us too... Hell, I once was the absolute protagonist, now I'm lucky when I get a cameo..." Asuna mumbled under her breath before exploding, "Anyway, you can't throw those accusations around so lightly!"

"Yeah, take it back, you buncha freaks!" Yuuna said.

"Akashi-san! Language!" Negi replied.

"Sorry sensei. Take it back, you group of genetically mutated nocturnal cannibalistic cave-dwelling sociopaths!"

"No, we demand satisfaction!" Chiri stood her ground. "Only four of you were using this place, and all of us needed it!" She gestured around towards the whole rest of her class, all of whom nodded in agreement, even Ai. "The needs of the collective must impose themselves upon the needs of a few!"

"Actually, I do believe they have a point there, Negi-sensei," Itoshiki intervened.

"You should! You're their organ grinder, after all!" Yuuna growled.

"... Have you just called us monkeys?" the soft spoken Okusa Manami asked, perplexed.

"¡Implicaciones Desafortunadas!" a short, healthy and energetic black haired girl with deeply dark skin and no shoes jumped up.

"Maria-chan's right!" Kaere nodded. "We'll sue!"

"Oh, for the love of—!" Chao slapped a hand on her own face.

"No one will sue anyone!" Negi insisted. "Desist and forget this nonsense, everyone, or we'll be forced to enact some serious authority measures!"

"In other words... we'll call on Takahata-sensei!" Itoshiki explained.

Then a loud female laugh startled everyone. "OH, HO HO HO HO!"

Asuna shot Ayaka a glare. "This isn't a moment to laugh, dumbass!"

Her rival growled back. "It wasn't me, you dolt!"

"I know that voice..." Kazumi blinked.

"HO HO HO HO! How pitiful of two so-called teachers!" Like the Red Sea splitting to allow the Hebrews to pass, so the crowd split fearfully to allow a tall, very busty blonde with way long gold hair and sharp blue eyes to wander in, closely followed by a mousy looking short younger girl with glasses, short brown hair and no curves, holding a pen and notebook in her hands.

"It's Suzushiro Haruka-sempai, the Executive Secretary of the Student Council, and her assistant Yukino-sempai!" Kazumi helpfully expositioned to Negi.

"Just what we needed..." Ayaka muttered between clenched teeth.

Negi noticed her discomfort quickly. "Why doesn't Iinchou-san like her?" he asked Asakura.

The red-haired reporter winked an eye at him. "Sensei, you ever heard about being so much like someone else you can't help but hating that person?"

"... No," he admitted. Harry Potter didn't count. He wasn't a real person.

Kazumi shrugged. "Well, you're about to see it now, then..."

* * *

><p>The big breasted blonde stopped before both arguing parties, fists balled up at her wide hips.<p>

"In the name of the Mahora Student Council, I, Suzushiro Haruka, have come to stop this felly!" she loudly proclaimed.

"The right term is 'folly', Haruka-chan, " the girl behind her told her, in a very low and submissive voice eerily reminiscing of Nodoka's.

Not paying her any attention, the Executive Secretary went on, "What shame upon the good name of this Academy! I expected better even from 2-A and 2-F! Tell me, who started this?"

"THEY DID!" Chiri and Ayaka pointed at once at each other.

Meanwhile, Chisame was just arriving with Hakase, approaching Negi slowly. "Sensei? What's the problem this time?"

"You wanted to steal our old dodgeball training spot away," the tall and heavily bandaged Kobushi Abiru told her.

"What?" Chisame's mouth twitched. "I don't even play dodgeball!"

"That's the perfect excuse, though, isn't it?" Abiru countered.

"And I wasn't even here!"

"That only makes it even more conveniently perfect..."

Haruka perked an ear up. "Dodgeball?"

"Actually, we were playing volleyball," Akira said.

"But we wanted to play dodgeball!" Chiri exclaimed.

"So this is all because of a game of ball?" Haruka rubbed her chin. "How frivolous, but I figure we also can put your misguided sports spirit to good use..."

"I don't like that sudden spark in your eyes. It always speaks of doom and incoming misery for all those involved," Ayaka snorted.

"Maybe we still can escape," Yue opined.

Oblivious to everyone else, Haruka raised an index finger up. "We shall solve these long standing differences between classes with a healthy match of the sport in question!"

"We're going to play volleyball against them?" Asuna blinked.

Haruka scratched herself on a cheek, thinking it over. "Mmmmmm... Nah, perhaps dodgeball would be better. It'd help you to vent your primal, base frustrations out a lot better!" She snapped her fingers. "Yukino!"

"Yes, Haruka-chan?" her secretary rushed to her side.

"Book me this area for tomorrow at this same hour! Also, call Jinnai-san and tell him to secure enough budget for an impromptu event!" She tightened a fist and held it up. "This has potential! Through an encounter between classes destined to be bitter rivals, but joined up by the power of sportmanshionip, we'll inspire all the student body to excel at their respective fields, lifting their spirits like never before!"

"I believe the word you were looking for is 'sportsmanship', Haruka-chan, " Yukino meekly pointed out.

"Girls playing dodgeball!" a nearby boy shouted.

"In short shorts!" another one added.

"My spirit's already up, and it's not alone!" a third one completed.

"... Pigs," Itoshiki muttered, then told Haruka, "Suzushiro-kun, wouldn't it be better if we just arrange a usage schedule between both classes?"

"Sensei, you weren't able to settle this down before, why should we expect for you to do it now?" the student authority figure told him rather curtly.

Nozomu's jaw hung down, then he quickly moved away to crouch down into a Corner of Woe. "You... You're right. I have utterly failed at my educative goal..."

"I'm all for it!" Chiri nodded with vigor. "It's time we taught you juniors to respect your upperclassmen!"

"Says you!" Asuna shouted back. "But yeah, we'll take it! You're going to fall hard, grannies!"

"YAY, GAME!" Kafuka and Konoka cheered at once with their nearly identical voices.

"Asuna, no!" Makie gasped. "I know how does this go! It's like in TV comedies! Now they'll try to get us into a bet, and they'll say they'll pull Negi-kun apart from us to teach them if we lose! And we'll have to suffer through a lot of comical hijinks to win!"

All of 2-F, minus the always baffled Ai, looked harshly at her.

"... Why would we do such a stupid thing? TEACHING ARRANGEMENTS DON'T WORK THAT WAY!" Kaere yelled, not noticing how the breeze randomly blew past her, toying with her short skirt and giving the nearby boys and Honsho Chizuru a brief peek of her strawberry imprinted panties.

_-Divine Wind…-_

"And besides, he already teaches us two English classes a week," Nami coldly reminded 2-A.

"And we aren't disgusting pedophiles like the whole lot of you," Chiri made a sickened face.

"HEY, HEY!" Asuna yelled.

"... I am very sorry," Chiri quickly amended. "We aren't disgusting pedophiles like the whole lot of you but the old man chaser." She soon became conscious of an evil look being pointed at her, but couldn't pinpoint from where. Setsuna continue to glare daggers at her.

"That's it!" Asuna had to be restrained by Kaede and Ku from behind, as she kicked and trashed. "As if you're one to talk! We all know you like Despair-sensei! Hypocrite! Flat-chested old maid!"

Now it was Chiri who had to be restrained by Kaere and Abiru. "Who are you calling flat chested?! If I didn't know you're clinically insane, I'd give you the ultimate punishment!"

"WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME INSANE, YOU FANATIC NUT?!"

"NO ONE IN HER RIGHT MIND WEARS BELLS IN HER HAIR!"

From the sidelines, Haruka fumed in anger. "YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STOP THIS AT ONCE!"

Negi sat down next to her, along Chisame, both their heads slumping down.

"Welcome to my world, Suzushiro-san..." he sighed.

"I was going to ask for more details about what's happened here, but on second thought, forget it," Hasegawa mumbled.

* * *

><p>As the girls around them bickered and shouted to each other, Yue and Nodoka noticed Haruna was oddly quiet and yet nervous. She squirmed uneasily in place, trying to avoid eye contact with 2-F. Even the two hair antennae on the top of her head were hanging unusually down.<p>

"Haruna, are you feeling ill or something?" Yue asked her.

"Eh?" the mangaka looked at her. "Why should I be?"

"You haven't made a single sarcastic comment since this started," Nodoka pointed out.

"Yeah, and you haven't sexually harassed any of the sempais," the other librarian added.

Haruna chuckled rather falsely. "C'mon, girls! Surely you can't have such a low opinion of me...!"

"Yes, we do," Yue and Nodoka chorused.

"There's nothing wrong with me, really!" the black haired beauty protested. "It's just I don't think this match is such a hot idea!"

Even the rest of 2-A paused and took notice.

"Are you passing on a chance to have a pointless, childish match against someone else?" Mana asked her.

"And to see girls in sport shorts?" Chizuru questioned.

"And to get references for your sports manga?" Kazumi completed.

The artist looked, for once, just begging for everyone to draw attention away from her. "W-Well, now you put it that way, never mind... It's just..."

"Are you afraid of taking on a challenge, Paru-chan?" a confident voice called from the ranks of 2-F.

Haruna shuddered as the curvy, smiling figure of another girl with black hair and glasses strode ahead. Her hair was shorter than hers, and her eyes were sharper and less rounded, with a unique controlled foxiness to them compared to Haruna's habitual rampant exuberance.

The girl smirked knowingly. "That's very unlike you, Paru-chan. Disappointing, too. What happened to that old Saotome spirit you always boast about so much? Your Dad and brother would be disappointed, don't you think?"

Haruna sweated bucket-loads now, biting her lower lip. "Like Hell I'm worried, Fujiyoshi-sempai, but..."

"Fujiyoshi?" Ako jolted up in place. "Like in 'Fujiyoshi Harumi'?"

"The Ace of All Sports?" Natsumi grew concerned. "The girl who rejected memberships from all sports clubs..._ just because they bored her_?"

"She once swam laps with our club, and none of us could catch up to her," Akira's voice mildly cracked.

"Coach Fujisawa tried to recruit her for our track team. She's a freakin' beast!" Misora bit her fingernails. "I don't want to ever be at the opposite side of a court versus that woman!"

"She scares **Haruna**!" Fumika hugged Fuuka.

"She can't be human!" Fuuka hugged her twin back, both small girls weeping and looking for support on each other.

"Is she really that good?" Negi asked Kazumi.

The reporter nodded solemnly. "Pretty much all of 2-F is rather good at sports. And Fujiyoshi-sempai is the best of them all by far. Not only that, but she's the Vice President of the Mahora Manga Club. She says that's her true vocation..."

Harumi snickered. "Yeah, it was me who induced Paru-chan into our fascinating subculture. Before meeting me, she couldn't even tell the uke from the seme..."

"What does that mean?" Negi asked.

Chisame covered his ears. "YOU'RE MUCH BETTER OFF NOT KNOWING!"

Haruna's head hung low in shame. "My image... My precious public image cruelly shattered..."

Another tall and shapely older student, with long black hair and surrounded by her own girl posse, warned 2-A in a low, jaded tone, "You're insane if you think you have any chance against those hideous beasts in a game. We used to be the champions of the Mahora dodgeball circuit until we faced them." Then she sobbed in a loud, theatrical way, "Since that bitter day, the Black Lilies of St. Ursula have never been the same!"

"Calm down, please, Eiko-chan!" one of her friends consoled her.

"Please, someone get her pills!" another one of her classmates called out.

Negi gulped, and most of his students quickly followed suit.

Only Asuna was fully unimpressed, crossing her arms and chuckling. "Do you think that scares us?"

"Yes!" Misora said.

"A lot!" Fumika cried.

"I'm too young to die!" Natsumi pleaded.

"I haven't even kissed a boy yet!" Ako confessed.

"Silence!" Asuna hushed them. "With which face will we, umm, face the rest of the school if we back away from these weirdoes' challenge!? Are we women, or mice? The first one to say 'mice' gets this in the face!" she held a fist up.

Nodoka, Natsumi, the twins, Misora and Ako quickly closed their mouths shut.

"For once, Asuna-san is right!" Ayaka regained her fighting spirit. "Girls, if we stand together, we won't fall to such uncouth opponents! Trust your Iinchou! I shall guide you to victory in the name of Negi-sensei!"

Tsunetsuki Matoi giggled. "Love for such a small fry won't lead you anywhere! **My **first boyfriend was a professional dodgeball player! Twice a national champion! He taught me all he knows on the sport!"

"Matoi-chan has picked up a lot of great talents from all her boyfriends!" Kafuka piped in cheerfully. "Origami mastery! Whack-A-Mole playing! Expert gardening! Crosswords solving! Rhinoceros taming! Dub acting! Kabuki acting! Cat Dog trivia! Motorcycle repairing! Crack Fic writing!"

Matoi nodded proudly. "The power of my Deep Love has left me a mistress of a thousand disciplines!"

"She dated a fanfic writer?" Even Satsuki was repressing a face of disgust at that.

"Some people just have no standards!" Ayaka was feeling ill.

"It was Shadow Crystal Mage!" Matoi said proudly, as if this was a declaration of pedigree.

There was silence.

"I'm trying to figure out who did more damage to who…" Chisame said.

* * *

><p>That night, for the first time since Christmas, Negi sleepwalked into Chisame's bed. And that time, she had been awake to see him actually doing it, stumbling around until he fell on his face right next to her.<p>

She didn't have the will to kick actually him out. Yep, she'd better save her energy for the massacre she would have to suffer through the day after. Why had she allowed Asuna to sign her in for that game? She'd even enlisted Hakase... now that had to be desperation at work. Hakase hadn't seemed to actually mind... but then again, she was Hakase Satomi. Odds were she didn't even understand the full gravity of the situation.

Then Chisame felt someone else snuggling her from behind.

"Oh, so now you have nightmares, too," she grumbled, although still keeping her voice low, as the sleeping Satomi rested her chin on her back, her scrawny arms embracing her midsection while Negi made himself comfortable against Chisame's front. "It's a huge conspiracy..."

She noticed Chamo looking at them with beady shiny eyes from his underwear drawer, and then she threatened him with a few very unladylike hand gestures. Quickly getting the clue, the ermine slammed the drawer closed, locking himself up in his own silky paradise.

The hacker sighed loudly.

At the very least, she thought while managing to fall asleep, it wasn't such a bad way to spend her final night.

"Sakurako-chan… not yet… I'm not ready…" Hakase muttered in her sleep. "Eh? You too Negi-sensei? And Chisame as well? Well, if you all really want…"

Chisame tried to smother her with the pillow.

* * *

><p>The next day, as soon as the exits bell rang, almost all of Mahora poured itself down around the chosen court. Chisame had never seen, out of graduations and start of term ceremonies, so many students and even teachers gathered at a single place, even though it was partially because she never had been one to assist reunions.<p>

_At the other side of the campus, a black haired boy with a short pigtail sighed, sitting on a branch of a tree and intently looking away from the court's direction. He just couldn't stand seeing Haruna making a fool out of herself..._

_At the roots of the same tree, a blond boy around his age sat trying to distract his cute Gothloli blond sister with mismatched eyes with a picnic. Hasegawa Kodaka just couldn't stand seeing Chisame making a fool out of herself in public, either..._

_In the college area, Hasegawa Sora, whom no one had bothered to warn about the game, frantically took notes in classes._

_Yet somewhere else, Sasaki Santa sat in the silence of his badly lit bedroom, wrapped in blankets and watching the match for his annoying cousin Makie through a webcam transmission..._

"Sausages-in-a-bun! Get 'em while they're hot!" someone cried.

Satsuki picked up her phone. "Hello, Mana-san…?"

"Now I know how Louis the XVI felt when they were bringing him to the guillotine," Chisame bitterly mused as she walked along Negi, Hakase, Asuna, Konoka and Ayaka to join the rest of the 2-A team.

"Oh, stop being so damn negative!" Asuna chided her. "We'll do most of the job. All you really must do is avoiding being hit; we'll take care of everything else."

"Why is Sensei in the team as well?" Hakase asked.

Konoka shrugged. "Kafuka-sempai insisted on allowing us to have 22 players against their 11, even when her whole class opposed her. She said it was to give us something to counter their experience edge. Somehow, she ended up imposing her will even upon Kitsu-sempai's..."

"Heh, that girl is an idiot," Asuna snickered. "There's no way we can lose with that much of an advantage in numbers. We have this in the bag!"

"Anyway, to complete the 22, we needed to include Negi-kun, since several of the girls didn't want to play..." Konoka finished.

Sitting at the nearby sidelines, Kaede looked at Setsuna, as the Narutaki twins ate cotton candy at her other side. "Don't you think maybe we should have helped them...?"

The swordsgirl sagely shook her head. "Our special talents must not be wasted on such frivolities. And it'd be a dishonor to the weaker students if we abused them," she coolly looked at the 2-F roster.

"And besides," Mana observed, "From here, you can get a much better view of Konoka's ass..."

Setsuna's right eyebrow twitched just a bit. "That is not... relevant to the topic at hand."

Shiho clutched on to Mana's sleeve, looking up at her with adoring eyes. "Oneesama, are you sure you don't wish to help your classmates at all...?"

"Iinchou refused to meet my price," Tatsumiya coldly replied.

Sitting at the other side of Shiho, Tate Yuuichi choked on his can of Pepsi. "**Yukihiro Ayaka **couldn't meet your price?-!"

Mana looked at him dismissively. "How much do you think it would take for ME to stand THERE, exposing myself to everyone LIKE THAT?"

The older boy cringed, getting the idea. "... Not even Lex Luthor could pay that."

"No. No, he couldn't," Mana agreed.

Sitting on a very tall arbiter's chair overlooking the whole court, all clad in white with an eyeshade visor on, Suzushiro Haruka fanned herself. The loyal Yukino sat on a much lower chair at her left, receiving and sending messages via cellphone and laptop without pause.

"Jinnai-sempai says he's sold twice as many expected tickets, Haruka-chan," she informed. "He sounds rather excited about it, actually..."

That horrible laughter of his was still ringing in her ears.

"We all should be!" Haruka smiled proudly. "This is one of my best ideas ever! With this, we'll be able to fund so many initiatives for the wellbeing of the student body, I'll be elected Vice President of the Student Council for the next term, no doubt! That'll make Kiryuuin-sama realize my true worth, and teach that irresponsible, _Bubuzuke _Shizuru she shouldn't slack so much and leave all the weight of her duties on me!"

"You'll be carrying even more weight then, Haruka-chan," Yukino stated at that.

"I don't care!" the blonde said. "I love my job! I love responsibilities! It's just it unnerves me how _Bubuzuke_ takes advantage of that to bask on her glory without doing anything herself!" She fumed, then casually asked, "By the way, Yukino, remind me... what does _Bubuzuke _mean, again?"

"Rice served with tea. You had really forgotten it...?"

"HO HO HO HO!" Haruka laughed. "That term is perfect for that poor hedonist woman!"

Meanwhile, three 13 year-old female students had taken their places at the commentary box. One of them, an impossibly cute blonde with huge bubbly blue eyes, her hair made up in twin tails, adjusted her microphone before greeting the public with her best cheerful voice, "Good afternoon, Mahora! Welcome to this very special exhibition dodgeball match between two of the most... uhhh... popular classes at our Academy! I'm Goutokuji Miyako, and I'll be one of your three guest commentators today!"

A rain of cheers and applauses fell all over her, and Miyako giggled cutely before the girl sitting at her side, an athletic tomboy with green eyes and short black hair, passed a hand over her own face and reluctantly talked into her microphone, "Yeah, well, I'm, um, Matsubara Kaoru, and I guess I'll be narrating today too, although I feel so horribly outta place here. But I like sports and I lost a bet, so here I am, and what can I do about it now?"

"WE LOVE YOU, KAORU-SAMA!" a whole club of her fangirls yelled from a disturbingly huge chunk of the audience.

"Wow, Kaoru-san, you really are popu-" Miyako began.

The tomboy silenced her with a gesture. "You'd better stop right there, Sis."

The final member of the trio, a redhead with long hair and a big red bow on top of it, took her chance to announce with gigantic enthusiasm, "And I'm Akatsutsumi Momoko! I'll tell you all, play by play, everything there's to be known about this match between Class 2-A, guided by the all too cute for words Negi-sensei, and Class 2-F, led by the coldly handsome and ohhh-so-bishie Itoshiki-sensei! Isn't that just _wonderful_?"

She stopped there, hoping to get as much applause as her partners, but only a deadly indifferent silence met her words.

Momoko froze as she clearly could hear two crickets and a bull frog on the background.

Finally, she buried her face between her hands. "Why can't I be popular like you guys...?"

"You're a dork," Kaoru curtly summed up.

"I'm sure you'll get your moment, Momoko-san..." Miyako sympathetically patted her back. She held up a small plastic hoop on a stick and a bottle of liquid. "Wanna play with my bubbles?"

* * *

><p>Itoshiki sat at a summer table (never mind the fact it was still technically winter, even if a rather benign and warm one) under a large umbrella along with the Vice President of the (Absurdly Powerful, of course) Student Council, holding a half empty (it never was half full with him) lemonade glass in a hand.<p>

"Fujino-san?" he distantly asked.

"Yes, Sensei?" the student asked, with her good natured thick Kyoto accent and one of her perpetual relaxed smiles.

"My head is aching. Would you mind if I pulled some of my pills out?"

"Sensei, you aren't going to attempt poisoning again, are you?" she asked him.

"What gave you that idea?"

Fujino Shizuru calmed poured herself a cup of tea. "Well, other than the fact it's... you, people normally don't ask for others' permission before taking a pill against headache. And your pill case has a big skull and crossbones on it."

He slumped his head down. "I'd have been rude, to drop dead before you without getting some kind of permission beforehand."

"Denied," the girl flatly said.

Nozomu sighed and leaned back on his chair. "If they win, they'll be boasting for weeks. If they lose, they'll be angry for weeks... There are no happy alternatives!"

"How about a draw?" Shizuru asked.

"Half the class will be boasting, the other half will be angry, and they all will fight for weeks. It's the worst thing that could happen to me, so naturally, it will happen," he hid his face between his bony hands.

Kuga Natsuki pushed her way past Mana, Shiho and Tate on her straight (or not) path to Shizuru's side. "Let me pass, Slave-kun," she coldly asked the boy, all but stepping over him.

"Go bite a raw cable, Kuga," the boy muttered, although still giving her free way. "You can't call me that just because I'm an assistant for the Student Council..."

"You're not even their glorified slave," the fair skinned, black haired young woman walked past them, not looking back.

Shiho stuck her tongue out to her. "Frigid bitch!"

"I heard that," Natsuki said, her right hand tightening just a bit into a fist, but still not looking back.

"I hoped so," the small redhead huffed.

Sighing in exasperation, Natsuki sat down next to Fujino. The Vice President offered her a cup of tea. "Been busy lately?"

"Like always," the younger student quietly accepted the cup. "Despair-sensei? Shouldn't you be closer to your students?"

"I assume you attempt to jest," Itoshiki crossed his arms.

"Me? Perish the thought," Natsuki began sipping her tea.

Back to the 2-A benches, Satsuki had installed a mini-food stand, and naturally, hungry students swarmed all around her, although always keeping a respectful distance. Chachamaru stood near, launching a few fireworks from her back and high up into the sky. Sitting at her right, Evangeline covered her sensible ears, muttering, "There must be one million better ways to spend an afternoon... like going to the dentist… Wait, I really _do _need to go to the dentist! Damn! Chachamaru! Remind me!"

"Yes, master."

Even Ayaka's maids had come to witness the game, setting a mini-picnic near the court. They all looked relaxed enough, except for Roberta, who remained silent and mostly motionless, but kept on polishing a knife over and over in a rather disturbing and slightly masturbatory fashion while her cold dead eyes were fixed on the 2-F roster.

Finally, both sides took their positions at their respective ends of the court. Yukino shyly stepped between Team Captain Kagurazaka and Team Captain Kitsu, holding the ball between her hands. "Now, before we start, I must ask you... Are you perfectly aware of, and content with, Haruka-chan, I mean, Executive Secretary Suzushiro, being the arbiter for this game, and obeying all her rulings on its outcome?"

Asuna gave Haruka a worried look. "Her? Does that eccentric know the first thing about dodgeball?"

"How rude!" Haruka shouted. "I'll let you know I memorized the entire manual on the sport at age seven!"

"Have you re-read it ever since?" Chiri doubted.

"HO HO HO HO!" Haruka half-covered her mouth with a hand. "What need do I have for it? I have a perfect photographic memory! Now stop questioning our honesty and kickstart that ball, Kunemitsu-san!"

"M-My name is Kitsu!" Chiri yelled at her.

Negi's spirits sunk down again. It was going to be a very long afternoon.

* * *

><p>Komori Kiri and Aisaka Sayo sat before the large windows of High School Classroom 2-F, a large plate with cookies and a thermos full with juice between them. Kiri normally disliked even looking outside, but the occasion was special enough to move her to actually try it, even if the sun hurt her eyes, forcing her to hold a hand over them to make it somewhat more bearable.<p>

"Why can't our classmates be friendlier to each other?" Sayo exhaled sadly.

"Yes," the shut-in quietly nodded. "You're right, they seem to have an unnecessary competitive streak against each other. Thank God we know better, Sayo-chan."

"Yeah!" the ghost smiled brightly. "Maybe this game will bring them closer, though!"

"I hope so," Kiri commented. "I have the feeling many of them will be forced to co-exist for a few weeks at the hospital after this is over."

"You're scary at times, Kiri-chan," Sayo giggled, then sighed dreamily. "Ahhh! Negi-sensei looks so dashing in those sport shorts!"

"Negi-sensei is boyishly cute, but he can't compare to Itoshiki-sensei, though," Komori's gaze wandered over to the lanky adult sitting with Shizuru and Natsuki. "Ah, he is so mature when he isn't throwing a childish tantrum over the unfairness of life... So tall and delicate, yet driven and manly... And that voice..."

Sayo pouted. "Negi-sensei still is much more handsome."

Kiri pouted back. "He can't even shave yet."

"Shaving? Shaving is icky. And overrated."

"No, it's masculine. And sexy."

"Are... are you saying Negi-sensei isn't masculine?"

"Well, he still has a girl's voice..."

They both suddenly stared daggers at each other, before turning around in their separate directions with twin indignant huffs.

Down below, as the game was about to start, the silver haired leader of Ayaka's maids was instructing three young girls in cheerleading outfits as they took their places next to the court.

"Very well now, girls," the tall busty woman clapped her hands softly, smiling sweetly at them. "In the forced absence of 2-A's cheerleading squad, Ojou-sama has seen fit to trust your experience to guide their spirits to victory. Don't strain yourselves beyond your limits; we understand you are still very young, and it's a very hot day. However, please keep in mind, your payment will ultimately depend on the result your cheers will have on the final score 2-A gets."

The little girl with short light brown hair at the middle of the trio blinked at her. "We're going to get paid, Fubuki-san?"

The girl with darker brown hair and glasses next to her looked at the third cheerleader. "Chiharu-chan, you never mentioned we'd get paid!"

The questioned girl laughed uncomfortably. "Ah, ha ha ha! Sorry, Naoko! I wanted it to be a surprise to you!"

Naoko narrowed her eyes. "When were you going to tell us about it?"

Chiharu opened her mouth, but no sound came out of it.

"You're trying to think of a good enough excuse, aren't you?" the first cheerleader asked her.

Chiharu laughed again. "Only the best excuses for my best friends...!"

Meanwhile, a girl with long silky black hair and very pale doll-like skin filmed every angle of the cheerleader with light brown hair with a hideously expensive portable camera, sighing lovingly as she did so. "You look so cute in that outfit, Sakura-chan...! But it needs a few more ribbons, and maybe a shorter skirt... and the cleavage should be a few couple inches lower... and..."

Roberta looked over at Taeko, Siesta and Fabiola. "I still think we should have acted as their cheerleading squad..."

"Absolutely not!" Fubuki-san called out sternly. "Remember what happened at the sled race last year!? Our lawyers still are sorting it out!"

* * *

><p>As a single woman, all 22 2-A students on the court took their positions right before Haruka blew on the starting whistle. Negi took his assigned place as well, swallowing and focusing his mind and soul, clearing all doubts away. Having fear would never solve anything. He had to walk away from his past, to embrace a brighter future where his father, no doubt, would be waiting for him, standing tall and proud of him.<p>

Just as he was proud of his students. They all were there, supporting each other to some degree or another. Like sisters, together despite their vast differences, making his heart to beat so fast, filling him with an odd wonderful joy he never had felt before...

Yeah, it was just pride. For real. The contentment of a good teacher over his pupils' courage. The fact they were all beautiful girls in tight shorts had nothing to do with it.

Still, they were his girls. No matter what, he would stand by them. He would pass the Principal's challenge and continue teaching them. He'd do anything for them, and he was pretty sure they all, in turn, even Evangeline, would do anything for him if needed. That had to be the strong emotional link between master and disciple the Merdiana Dean always told him about. And it felt simply excellent.

Ahhhhh, it made him so happy...

Then Chiri shouted, "First one to go!" and the ball hit him straight in the face, knocking his glasses out and bouncing away, only to be quickly intercepted in mid-air by Asuna.

"I got it!" the redhead shouted, then angrily barked at him, "Don't daydream, Onion-head! You're still in, but I won't save your butt a second time!"

"Guuuuuu..." his voice gurgled, as he wobbled in place with his eyes made into spirals.

"Hey, you okay?" Chisame asked him.

"I still can fight, General..." he muttered, his head jerking aside for no good reason."Just give me a horse and a new blade! For King Arthur and Camelot!"

"How many fingers am I holding here?" Yuuna held four fingers before his face.

"Six!" he said.

Yuuna gave him a thumbs up. "Close enough! You're still good to go!"

Chisame wondered what had she done in a past life to deserve being there. She ignored the visions of a Xebec anime flashing before her eyes.

Asuna huffed. Insane as she was, Kitsu really knew what she was doing! Merciless and to the point, hitting at the weakest link of the chain first. Well, she knew how to play that game, too!

She hit the ball hard, sending it zooming through the air towards the smallest member of Class 2-F. The petite girl with her black hair made into two big thick pigtails. Otonashi Meru readied herself bravely to stop the strike, her dark eyes sparkling with determination...

Until the cellphone hanging from her waist rang. Without even wasting a single second, she picked it up in the spot... and instantly got a ball on the face for her trouble.

"Alright!" Sakurako cried gleefully as the ball dropped down to the court's floor. "I had bet on one of them being the first to fall!"

Negi recovered part of his senses. "Betting on sports is illegal at this Academy!"

Chiri walked over to Meru, who, even on her hands and knees, had her mind only on her cellphone, desperately looking at it. "Otonashi-san..." the taller girl growled threateningly, but then Meru simply looked up at her with adorable tearful eyes, showing her the phone."You got a wrong number? YOU GOT YOURSELF ELIMINATED BECAUSE OF A SIMPLE DAMNED WRONG NUMBER?!"

At her food stand, Satsuki closed her own cellphone with a perfectly innocent, just slightly distressed, expression on her soft rounded features.

"Oops," she slowly said. "I only intended to call for more bowls. How did I end up dialing Otonashi-sempai's number?" she wondered.

Fuuka and Fumika stared at her.

"Satsuki-chan, since everyone at this Academy is your customer, you got almost all our numbers, don't you?" Fuuka asked.

"What were the odds of dialing exactly her number right now?" Fumika added. "By accident?"

Satsuki merely looked innocent. "I must have been a freak million to one chance."

They both grinned at her and chorused, "You're awesome, Satsuki-chan!"

"My, my, I have no idea what do you mean by that..." the chef politely denied. But in truth, you couldn't be Chao Lingshen's roommate for so long without picking a few tricks up along the way.

* * *

><p>"Well done, Asuna!" Yuuna high-fived Baka Red. "I knew we could count on you!"<p>

"Ha ha, well, we aren't out of the woods yet..." Kagurazaka reminded her, although still basking on her glory.

"Just remember, don't lose your nerve!" Ayaka instructed. "These brutes are all pure mouth and reputation! Keep your wits on and we'll win for sure!"

"Ahhh, it's so moving to see such a confident and well-knit team!" Kafuka openly smiled, skipping a few steps ahead playfully, with the ball in her hands. She sounded honestly happy about it too, with no hints of malice or irony in her voice. Then she slightly stumbled and the ball went shot high up and ahead, out of her hands. "Ooops!"

The ball made a perfect arcing trajectory way above the heads of the 2-A students, then fell down zooming towards the back, where most of the weakest, less athletic players were.

"Ahhhh, it's gonna hit me!" Natsumi cried.

"Asuna, catch it for me!" Madoka tried to backpedal, only to tumble into Chizuru's buxom body. The ball hit her squarely on the head, then bounced into Naba's breasts, and from them it sprang straight into Natsumi's face.

"What a play!" Momoko called out. "Kafuka-sempai has put three rivals out of commission with a single serve, and she wasn't even trying!"

"Always knew there was a lot of bad things involved with being a cow..." Kaoru snorted while leaning ahead in boredom, resting her face on her hands. "They'd only have lost two players if not for those ridiculous airbags..."

"Why didn't you guys **DOOOOODGE**?!" Ayaka angrily screamed at the three casualties. "Or, you know, try to HIT THE BALL BACK?!"

"It went too fast for me to catch! It might have broken my hands!" Natsumi protested.

"I tried to dodge, but Chizuru was on the way!" Madoka claimed.

"I couldn't move anywhere! Chisame-san was in my way!" Chizuru said.

"I tried to give you room to move, but Asakura blocked my way!" Hasegawa said in turn.

"We're too crowded here! None of us can move freely anywhere!" Kazumi realized.

Evangeline crossed her legs and lazily glanced at Kafuka, who was laughing dumbly as her classmates congratulated her. "That girl... she was the one to suggest 2-A should play with the double of players than usual, wasn't she?"

"Indeed, she was," Chachamaru replied. "Why?"

Eva chuckled evilly. "Those fools were so tempted with an apparent free edge they forgot to look below the surface. That girl knew perfectly what she was doing, and tricked them easily. Innocent as she may seem, I can feel she has the darkest heart of all of Despair's students."

"Her, Master?"

"You still have much to learn, Chachamaru," the immortal spoke calmly.

A few steps away, Tate grumbled, "I already have counted like three major irregularities in this game, and we're only five minutes into it."

"Yeah, I though hitting on the face wasn't allowed, for starters," Shiho nodded, now clinging to him while looking at the court with disapproval.

Mana leaned back indifferently. "It'll help them all to forge character."

"You're awfully aloof about your classmates' luck," Tate told her. "Not playing is one thing, but you could at least try to cheer for them."

The mercenary closed her eyes. "I wasn't paid enough for that either."

"A pity," Shiho sighed, "The cheerleading outfit would've looked so nice on you..."

There was a brief silence, then she clung harder to Tate. "Oniichan! Time to reaffirm my heterosexuality!"

He groaned and shook his head. "Yeah, yeah, I know that's pretty much my whole role in this life..."

* * *

><p>The ball had just returned to 2-F's side, after a failed attempt by Yuuna to hit Chiri. The order maniac, in turn, had just handed it over to Harumi, who briefly grinned while setting her sights on a very specific target.<p>

"Paru-chan!" she called out.

Haruna instinctively assumed a defense position. "... What?"

"Show me that old spark you used to have," the older Yaoi fangirl asked. "The one you had when we met, before you grew lazy and comfortable. That spirit you had when you were a novice fresh off your old man's dojo!"

Haruna grimaced. "Fujiyoshi-sempai, I don't want to be that person anymore."

The older girl exhaled. "Paru-chan. I appreciate you as a friend and follower. I really do. However! The fire, the passion of creation has died along with your old fighting spirit! You slack off on your deadlines! You bask on the basest feelings of your heart, and have forgotten both the true path of the mangaka and that of the athlete! Today, I intend for you to remember that, one way or another!"

"Haruna? An athlete?" Ku Fei asked.

"You've gotta be kidding," Makie pouted. "The most athlete she has on her would be athlete's foot…"

Yue and Nodoka just flinched uncomfortably while turning their eyes towards the third librarian, waiting for her reaction. Haruna just stood in place with an annoyed, antsy expression, and was totally wordless for once.

Yukino looked up at Haruka. "Haruka-chan, hasn't Fujiyoshi-san been holding that ball for far too long now...?"

But Haruka was just ignoring her, sniffing proud manly (for a female) tears of hot blooded enthusiasm. "It's beautiful...! A friend trying to rekindle her old comrade's battle soul, pitted in tense combat against each other! Just like an old school sports anime!"

Yukino sighed very sadly and sank her head down. "Okay, so we'll let it slip..."

Harumi slowly lifted the ball high. "It would seem you need..."

She carefully, with the grace of a majestic warrior of the ball court, allowed her calm and focused eyes to wander towards Nodoka. The shy girl instantly jerked back and let out a short shriek, as Yue gasped, and her targeter completed her sentence in an almost casual way,

"... something to spur your old self back into being."

And then the sphere flew straight for the smaller girl, whose feet suddenly seemed rooted to the ground, scared out of her wits.

"Asuna!" Ako screamed. "Save her!"

Asuna bolted for her, trying her best to get to her in time, but she knew she wouldn't make it to the other side of their court in such few instants. However, before the ball cut impact on Nodoka, there was a shout coming from her left, and an arm jerked aside to block the incoming projectile.

"SAOTOME SHIELDING TECHNIQUE!"

Yue swallowed and Nodoka breathed in and out deeply as Haruna panted, keeping the ball firmly between her hands. "Damn, but I'm rusty... Nodo-chan, you okay?"

"Ahh... Ah-hah..." Nodoka nodded erratically.

"Alright," Haruna took aim. "I'm getting serious, Fujiyoshi-sempai! You want to mess with my friends? Then I don't mind if I pay you in the same coin! And don't forget this all is the fault of..."

She abruptly pointed at another one of the adversaries, "... You! Kaga Ai!"

"M-Me?-!" the guilt complex student sweated profusely. "Oh dear! You're right! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! So sorry! I knew I should have avoided this!" she started to bow in apology, her mania taking over. "I haven't done anything for my team, either! I have—"

Then Haruna just tossed the ball at her. "SAOTOME GUILT EXPLOITING SUCKER SPIKE!"

It hit Ai in the chest, knocking the wind out of her.

"She's out!" Miyako declared. "In a new shocking development, Saotome-sempai has just found a hidden strange strength inside of herself!"

Harumi smirked knowingly. "Yes, yes, that's it. Much better!" she challenged. "Now that's the Paru-chan I want to see!"

Ai rolled on the floor, whimpering. "I'm sorry... I should've known this would happen..."

Chiri icily looked down at her. "If you were going to be dead weight anyway, getting yourself eliminated is the best thing you could do."

Haruna huffed, assuming a new, more determined stance. "Nodoka, Yue, behind me! I'll protect you to the end!"

"Are you sure, Haruna?" Yue dubiously asked. "There's a good reason why you—"

Paru nodded. "I'll be okay. When haven't I? C'mon, just trust me for this once!"

"Now and always, Haruna..." Nodoka proudly answered.

Misora glanced at Ku Fei. "Hey, you room with her. You got any idea what she's doing now?"

Baka Yellow turned her face to the sister in training, showing her eyes had become solid black circles. "... Aru?" Then she blinked back to normal. "To be honest, I think I recognize that stance, but... It couldn't be... No, there's no way she could have learned it..."

Kaoru tapped on her microphone with restless fingers. "What's with all this talking and exposition in the middle of a freakin' game? What's coming next, they'll power up and have a five minutes long transformation sequence for each?"

"Kaoru-san!" Miyako squealed.

"That'd be SO AWESOME!" Momoko completed.

The tomboyish commentator ran her short fingernails all over the mike. "God, give me strenght..."

* * *

><p><em>Five Years Ago, this happened:<em>

Haruna had sat down at the small river's edge after stomping away from her new room, huffing and puffing to herself. She took her shoes off and cooled her feet in the slow running water, mumbling under her breath and crossing her arms over her knees.

She always had been a happy child, until recently.

She pushed the large thick glasses up her nose bridge, finding them bothersome and too heavy for her liking.

The thick eye-browed girl looked into the distance for a long while, unusually quiet and contemplative, until she saw another girl, around two years older than her, sitting several feet away from her, silently sketching on a large drawing pad, her fingers skillfully tracing line after line with nervous, yet elegant vivacity.

That other girl was very pretty, and Haruna thought, unlike her, she looked good with her glasses on, but then again, they were much smaller glasses.

Even then, Haruna was never one to respect anyone's personal space, so she quickly walked over to her, peeking over her shoulders. "Hey, hey. Whatcha doing there?"

Unlike everyone else she ever bothered, the older girl didn't react by trying to hide what she was doing or shooing Haruna away. She only continued what she was doing, answering with an even, indifferent tone, "I'm drawing Yaoi."

"What's Yaoi?" Haruna asked the words that would change her life forever. "Those two boys are really cute..."

"Thank you," the taller girl calmly said.

"... but why are they kissing?"

The strange artist girl stopped her work and smiled up at her. "Doesn't this disgust you?"

"Why? They're very pretty."

"Yeah," the artist tapped with her pen on her sheet thoughtfully. "But everyone tells me I'm too young for this."

"You draw very well. I like drawing, too, but Mom and Dad say it's a waste of my time..."

"Drawing is never a waste of time!" the eleven-years old huffed indignantly. "Someday, I'll be a very famous mangaka, and I'll be rich and everyone will admire me!"

"Can I be your assistant?" Haruna's eyes sparkled.

The older girl huffed in her face. "No. I don't even know you."

"My name's Haruna!" she introduced herself, then remembered what her dad always told her and posed dramatically. "Saotome Haruna!"

The stranger made an unappreciative face, but the enthusiasm painted on the little girl's expression finally won her over. "I'm Fujiyoshi Harumi."

"Glad to meet you, Harumi-chan!" she smiled very widely. Then she sat down at her side. "So, can I help you?"

Harumi grumbled in mild annoyance before ripping a page out and handing it over to her along with another pencil. "First, show me what can you do."

"Okay!" she put hands to work, and in less than two minutes flat, she was showing the results to her newfound friend. "So, how's this?"

Harumi scowled. "You need to improve a lot."

Then, looking at the disappointed visage of the smaller child, she hastily added, "It'll take me a lot of time to teach you."

Haruna's eyes lit up again. "You'll really teach me?"

"Ehh, you recognized my genius, so you must have some talent of your own..."

"Oh, thank you, thank you!" she hugged her. "You're the coolest!"

"You hardly know me!" she pushed her aside. "So, you really sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah. Mom only wants me to grow up to marry a rich man, and Dad only wants me to grow up to marry a strong fighter to inherit the Dojo..."

A fine eyebrow, so unlike her big ones, was arched up. "Your Dad owns a Dojo? That's interesting. Maybe we could use it for reference."

"Reference for what?"

"Silly, don't you see it? Martial arts manga are all the rage nowadays, and Dojos are always full with muscled handsome boys!"

"Dad's Dojo is almost always empty. That's why Mom wants me to marry into money."

"Aren't you too young for that?"

She shrugged. "They say they were engaged when they only were children."

"That's barbaric," Harumi grimaced. "Wait, if they're so down on their luck, how could they send you here?"

Haruna smirked again, deviously. "Mom has a lot of ways to get her will done."

"Huh."

Haruna had started to lazily sketch as well. "I don't know if I ever will marry."

"Why?" Harumi joked. "Don't like boys?"

"Boys...?" the other child paused, pondering it with a small goofy grin. "Yes, I think I do. But I also like girls."

"What?" Harumi blinked several quick times.

The younger girl giggled. "Daddy doesn't like that! But he's kinda dumb, so he thought they could cure me at an all girls school!"

Harumi stared in confusion for a few moments, but then laughed it out. "He's not very smart, is he! That's like making someone hate chocolate by giving them as much chocolate as they want! You're really a case, Haruna-chan!"

They said some wicked genius was needed to become a successful mangaka.

And she was starting to think that kid had at least the wicked part all done up.

* * *

><p><em>Back in the present…<em>

A perfect throw from Kimura Kaere had just sent Misa out of the game.

"Wow! A perfect throw from Kimura Kaere-sempai has just left Kakizaki Misa-sempai out of the game!" Momoko expositioned into her microphone, growing fonder and fonder of her new role. "2-F starts to apply some major pressure on 2-A! Looks like the gloves are finally coming off!"

Ayaka caught the ball and tossed it back to the enemy field. "It'll take more than this to defeat us!"

However, her toss was easily intercepted by a sempai with very short black hair and deeply disturbing, evil looking dark eyes.

"Mitama Mayo-sempai has taken hold of the ball!" Miyako cried out. "The enigmatic Mayo-sempai rarely speaks with anyone! Some say there's an evil presence about her! Others say no one who looks THAT mean can be really mean! Either way, there's no way to know what she could do next!"

"Amateur," Zazie quietly muttered from where she sat feeding the birds. _Everything is going according to plan…_

Itoshiki scratched his head uncomfortably. "The fact my class is comprised of monsters doesn't give them the right to label them as such!"

Mayo elegantly volleyed the ball up, then made a direct bulls-eye for Kazumi as the other girl attempted to avoid it; as the reporter did so, she stumbled into Yuuna, making the ball to hit her as well.

"Are we players or domino pieces now?" Asuna complained. "Damn it, guys!"

"We're still too overcrowded!" Makie whined.

"Yeah, well, at this rate, we won't be very soon," Chisame grumbled. "Any new bright ideas, Team Captain?"

"I'm thinking!-!-!" Asuna and Ayaka said at the same time, then stared at each other.

"I'm the Captain!" Ayaka stated.

"Says who?!" Asuna objected. "I'm far better at sports than you!"

"Leadership requires far more than brute strength! We need a thinker and planner, someone who can keep a keen eye on the game!"

"The only things you have kept your eyes on are the brat's legs!"

"LEAVE NEGI-SENSEI'S SEXY LEGS OUT OF THIS!"

In the meantime, Ku Fei simply grabbed the ball and rather crassly spiked it into the figure of one Oora Kanako.

"Kanako-chan!" Nami cried, in a perfectly normal reaction.

"Ahhh, it's okay, I don't mind..." the always contented girl with an orange bow on her hair spoke calmly, in a slightly spaced out, satisfied voice."What matters is I had fun while it lasted..."

"She's insane," Chiri gruffed.

"Most definitely," Matoi nodded in agreement.

Somewhere above, crows flew by crying "Aho! Aho!"

The always energetic Maria picked the ball up and ran across the court with it like a frantic little monkey, her always bare sweaty feet slapping noisily against the ground, until she jumped up high and threw aiming for Negi. "¡La Clavada de la Muerte de Maria!"

Negi took it straight in the noggin again, making him to stumble around just as Akira picked the ball right in time to avoid him getting disqualified.

"Damn, Sensei, not again!" Chisame complained. "You're going to get lasting brain damage!"

"Anya, sorry, I didn't know you were showering..." he gurgled."I swear I barely saw anything... No, that doesn't mean you have nothing of a figure at all... No, Anya, put that candlestick down now, please... Ooh, pretty colors…"

* * *

><p><em>Four Years Ago:<em>

"What do you mean by that? Are you going to leave us?" Harumi's always pleasant and self-confident voice was betrayed by a sudden pinch of uneasiness.

Haruna was quick to wave her hands around, shaking her head. "Oh, no, no! Of course I won't! The fact I'm going to join the Library Exploration Club doesn't mean I'll abandon our Nakama! I'll only have to take a few hours off each week..."

"You're already behind on your deadlines as it is," Harumi lectured her. "You're a very fast learner, but that's worth nothing if you don't put enough effort into what you're doing!"

"Ah ha ha, yeah, sorry..." Haruna laughed goofily, scratching the back of her neck. "Say, I haven't introduced you to my new friends yet, have I?" She called out for the two tiny girls waiting at the room's door, each one seemingly trying to hide behind the other. "Hey, Yuecchi! Nodo-chan! This is Harumi-chan, the Club's Vice-president!"

"H-H-H-Hello!" Nodoka stammered very nervously.

Yue simply bowed her head a few millimeters, never stopping sipping from her pomegranate juice box.

Harumi shot an annoyed gaze towards them, as the other two younger girls behind *her* perked up in curiosity. "Yeah, yeah, pleased to meet you too. Paru, we need you here giving us your best! We just recruited Hiyori-chan and Patty-chan here, and I can't teach them all the ropes while handling everything else I've been up to as well!"

"Relax, Sempai!" Haruna had flashed that annoying, yet oh so beautiful smile she always used when she wanted a rise out of her. "The Club President said it'd be okay! I can multi-task! I promise I'll put more effort into it to compensate! I'll help with the newbies, too!"

"You already consulted with Amano-sempai?" Harumi groaned, deflating a bit. "Why didn't you ask me first? I'm your immediate superior! You can't jump over ranks just like that!"

"Sorry..." Saotome dragged a foot along. "It's just I really wanted to do that, too. I also love books without pictures, you know..."

Harumi breathed out and turned around on her chair. "If the Club President has given you her blessing, nothing I can do about it, right? Go and enjoy yourself."

"You don't have to get angry over it..." Haruna said.

"I'm not angry."

"You sound like it."

"Why should I be?"

"You really sure about it?"

"Totally."

"Okay, then."

"Yeah, okay."

Haruna began walking towards the door. "Let's go then, Yuecchi, Nodo-chan! Konoka will be glad to hear this! And good afternoon for you all, guys!"

"Bye bye!" the brown haired, bespectacled Hiyori waved away at them.

"Have very good after-noon!" the blond, tall and short haired Patricia added in her still very broken Japanese.

Harumi huffed and turned back to her drawing board after the door was closed from the outside. "Slacker."

Hiyori giggled.

"What's so funny?" Fujiyoshi coldly asked her.

"Lover spats always very cute!" Patty joined the giggling.

Harumi reached over for a ruler and hit the foreigner over the head with it. "That's it, smartass. Just for that, I'll charge you with three more pages for this Wednesday."

"What? That no fair!" Patricia protested.

"One more protest, and I'll task you with drawing the adaptation of that Shadow Crystal Mage fanfic!" her sempai threatened.

"... I'll shut up and get to work!" Patty offered with a terrified gulp.

Hiyori coughed. "Um, which one?"

Glare.

"Just asking… sheesh…"

* * *

><p>Chao Lingshen actually felt like yawning.<p>

She had been there, played that kind of stupid game dozens of times now.

Now, however, she felt mostly bored. It was like going through the motions of a joke played several times, over and over. Not even a particularly funny joke. The only thing keeping her from cutting loose and owning the whole other team by herself was her need to hide her true abilities, but it was tempting, to just finish the farce then and there.

She half-heartedly blocked a throw sent her way, then absently tossed it back at 2-F's side, managing to hit Hitou Nami despite her lack of trying. Naturally, it was normal for someone with that much skill to succeed that easily.

Boring, boring, boring.

Matoi picked the ball next and apparently had revenge in her mind, since she immediately aimed and tossed at Chao's weakest point.

Hakase.

As the ball zoomed through the air towards her with a soft whooshing sound, Satomi couldn't help but briefly marvel at the aerodynamic properties and high speed achieved by such a vulgar, seemingly obtuse object. Maybe she should try making a ball shaped robot next, if she managed to survive the impact. Her mind quickly began to run through calculations of the damage to her cranial structure the projectile would cause, based on its current trajectory and apparent speed. She was so absorbed by such fascinating calculations she couldn't notice her classmates and teacher's warning cries, much less ponder something as trivial as just moving out of the way.

"SATOMI-SAN!" Negi shouted.

"DAMN IT, PROF, WAKE UP!" Makie cried.

"HAKASE!" Chao perked up from her lethargy, only to realize it was too late even for her to get there in time.

Asuna and Ayaka still were too tangled up howling at each other.

However, before the ball could hit the absent minded professor, a petite blur got in the way, taking the full brunt of the impact for her. Hakase snapped out of her daze to look, in horror, at Sakurako plummeting down at her feet, almost in dramatic slow motion.

"SAKURAKO-CHAN!"

From the benches where the killed... I mean, the eliminated sat, Misa looked at Madoka. "They're in a '-chan' basis now?"

"Sakurako always gets what she wants," Madoka said back. "If she had wanted us in her bed, I'd bet you we already would be there."

Misa flinched a bit. "No, I wouldn't!"

"You would. Sakurako's just unstoppable," the other cheerleader replied.

"I think she's been stopped just fine," Kazumi looked at the court.

"I like Sakurako a lot as a friend, but I'd never—" Misa started. "I mean, all those times you may have seen me looking at her at the baths, that had nothing to do with—"

Madoka's face betrayed some concern. "Misa, I just was joking."

Misa forced a sudden grin. "Of course I knew! Heh heh heh. And I was joking back! What gave you the impression I wasn't?"

Natsumi and Chizuru discreetly slid away from her.

"Sakurako-chan..." Hakase crouched down, cradling the fallen Shiina's upper body in her lap, tenderly pulling a stray lock of hair from her forehead as violin music began to play. "You... Y-You have just sacrificed yourself for me!"

"Don't... fell bad for me, Satomi-chan..." She coughed as flower petals began to swirl around them. "I had bet... I wouldn't last the whole... game..." Her voice faltered down.

"SAKURAKO-CHAN!" Hakase bawled out, hugging her.

The violin music began to melodramatically blare all over the area, rising to a tragic crescendo.

Then a pretty, blond girl from Class 2-C shot a stare to the expressionless boy playing the violin next to her. "Karasuma-kun, could you PLEASE stop that?"

Chiri grumbled, running a hand over her face. "Shiina-san, will you just stand up and allow the game to continue?"

Sakurako sighed and jumped back to her feet. "Spoilsport." She smiled at Hakase before leaving the court. "Do your best, Satomi-chan!"

"I will!" Hakase promised with renewed energy, then grabbed the ball, holding it tightly while her voice thundered with unusual potency and determination. "CLASS 2-F! HEED MY WORDS! YOU HAVE PLANTED THE SEEDS OF YOUR OWN DESTRUCTION! BEHOLD!" She pulled out a disturbingly large device out of her tight short bloomers, making many a soul to wonder exactly where she had been keeping it. NSFW thoughts followed. "I SHALL UTILIZE THIS ELECTRIC-MOTOR DRIVEN PHALLIC SEXUAL RECREATIONAL DEVICE TO FORCEFULLY VIOLATE IN A MANNER AKIN TO SODOMY YOUR CRANIAL SKELETAL BRAIN RECEPTACLE VIA ONE OF THE VISUAL ORGAN OPENINGS!"

Chisame was having a hard time covering Negi's eyes and ears at once. "DAMN IT, HAKASE, STOP EMBARRASSING US ALL!"

Haruna chuckled at her. "Now I see why you two never leave that room...!"

Chisame would have flipped her the bird if both of her hands hadn't been busy.

"I didn't understand a word of it, but it sounded really sexy..." Sakurako dreamily sighed. "My hero…!"

"What did she just say?" a confused Miyako asked her colleagues.

"Beats me," Momoko shrugged.

"She said, 'I'm gonna skullf#$%^*ck you'," Kaoru stoically translated.

Her two classmates looked at her in horror.

"What?" she protested. "My Dad's a wrestler, we hear that crap from drunk fans trying to grapple with him all the time!"

"Wh-Why were you carrying that thing around, Hakase?" Misora shakily asked from her hiding place behind Akira.

"Huh?" Hakase looked back at her. "Ah, it was a commission job. I brought it here because the person who asked for it to be made wanted it delivered right after the game's over. It was Suzu—"

Suzushiro Haruka quickly blew on her whistle. "P-POSSESSION OF THE BALL EXTENDED OVER THE LEGAL TIME! PLAYER HAKASE SATOMI FROM 2-A HAS JUST BEEN DISQUALIFIED!" she quickly waved a red card around.

"EHHHHH?!" Satomi whined. "But I was—"

"OUT!" Haruka yelled.

"But, you will see, I—"

"OUT!"

"You'll want it for later, though, won't—"

"OUT! OUT OUT OUT! OUT!" Haruka furiously repeated.

Satomi sighed and marched out of the court. "Okay. I'll keep it for myself then. I mean, to redesign it into something definitely not sexual. Because I have no interest on such things. Seriously. Just ask Chisame. She won't lie to you."

"I don't even know you," Chisame hissed glacially.

As Hakase left the field however, she paused, then went over to the other team's side of the court. Ignoring the looks she was getting, she went right up to Matoi and stared at her. Then she said something soft that made the girl blanch and try to attack Hakase is apoplectic fury, barely held back by a smiling Kafuka.

"What did you say to her?" Misa asked as Hakase went to join the rest of the eliminated.

Hakase managed to look faintly smug. "That those shorts…" she said, "Made her look fat."

Jaws dropped at this near-unpardonable sin.

Sakurako swooned. "Definitely my hero…"

* * *

><p>The game grew more rabid and even as both sides were slowly stripped down to their overall best players. Not stripped down in any other way, sorry. Believe me, I'd be the first one to mention it and rejoice.<p>

Asuna and Ayaka were still mostly fighting each other, competing to see who could catch the volleys first, running almost elbow to elbow. Furiously, they kept 2-F at bay almost by themselves for long, strained minutes of sweating, panting and modest bouncing (excuse us, we need to to get some cold water… okay, back now), until finally, right when they were almost pushing each other out of the way for the next service, Fujiyoshi found a suitable opening, sending a ball straight into Ayaka.

Asuna's eyes widened in horror as her hated rival hit the dust.

"IINCHOOOOOU!" Makie cried out.

"Crap, now we're really screwed!" Misora swore.

"They got the team captain!" Ku noted.

"I am the team's captain!" Asuna protested.

"Iinchou-san, are you all right?" Negi rushed to her side.

At the seats of Ayaka's maids, Fubuki immediately sprang up in alarm. "Everyone subdue Roberta before it's too late!"

Taeko and Siesta had already hugged one of Roberta's legs each and clung to them for dear life, and Fabiola had just held her in a chokehold from behind, but Fubuki still had to join the restraining efforts with all her strength just to be able to barely hold the now red-eyed, madly howling Colombian back.

**"¡MALDITA HIJA DE PUTA!"** she foamed out the mouth like a rabid dog, kicking and struggling all around as she attempted to reach and eviscerate Harumi. **"¡TE VOY A MATAR, CUATRO OJOS! ****¡TE ARRANCARE LAS TRIPAS! ****¡ARRANCAR Y DESTAZAR! ¡COMO TE ATREVES A HACERLE ESO A LA SEÑORITA!"**

Negi's face went fully white. It was not often he regretted being a multi-lingual expert, but that was one of those rare times.

Kaere looked at Harumi. "... You should sue her."

Manami asked Maria, "Maria-chan, what is she saying?"

The brown skinned petite girl rasped, then said in her best Roberta impression, **"YOU GODDAMN WHORE! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU, FOUR-EYES! I'LL RIP YOUR GUTS OUT! RIP AND TEAR! HOW YOU DARE DO THAT TO OJOU-SAMA?"**

Kaere looked at Harumi again. "... I know some excellent lawyers."

Oblivious to it all, Ayaka just swooned in Negi's arms, her voice coming out weakly. "Ohhhh... I'm sorry I failed you, my dear Negi-sensei..."

"Don't say that! You played wonderfully, Iinchou-san!" the boy told her. A chorus of humming voices rose as a light shone on them. More flower petals blew by.

She gripped his right hand. "Please do tell me you'll never forget me, Sensei..."

He shook his head, crying profusely as the angelic choir rose to a climax."Never in my life, Iinchou-san!"

"I'd just wish... for a goodbye kiss before... before..."

"For the love of God, it's just a whack with a ball!" Asuna punted her back up. "Enough with this circus!"

Ayaka hissed while facing her again. "You really will kill me one of these days, Asuna-san!"

"Promises, only promises!" the redhead shot back. She pointed. "Will the choir stop practicing? It's throwing us off!"

Miffed, the choir stomped off.

* * *

><p>Things looked bad now. Out of all the 22 players, 2-A had lost Sakurako, Hakase, Misa, Chizuru, Kasumi, Madoka, Natsumi, Yuuna, and Ayaka. And most of the still active girls couldn't be counted as much of a support. Asuna frowned, pondering her options while Ku Fei and Harumi exchanged a furious, actually very even back and forth of volleys, each one trying to get the other out of the game.<p>

It was then when Fuura Kafuka casually exclaimed, "Ahhhh! A fight just broke out!"

"Huh?!" Ku's attention was instantly shot into the direction Fuura was looking at, anxiously. "Where?!"

Then the ball hit her in the back of the head. "GAME OVER, ARUUUU!"

"Now you're just cheating!" Asuna accused. "No one's fighting anywhere!"

Kafuka just pointed at where two cats were fighting over a fence, and said in an extremely innocent, drawn out voice, "Kitties are people too..."

"Word," Chachamaru very quietly said, with a brief nod. "Amen, sister. Testify."

"Chachamaru, you are hereby forbidden from watching anymore ethnic sitcoms from the 80's until you stop talking like that," Evangeline said.

"You... You guys...!" Asuna sputtered, picking the ball with anger and tossing it to Kafuka. Without missing a beat, the eternal optimist jumped up high to intercept it; as she did, she went so high her figure contrasted up against the sun in a majestic, awe inspiring manner, enough to make everyone in the public to gasp aloud. Many a fan was born that day. Even Itoshiki had taken notice, his cheeks reddening briefly as he saw his student rising up like a golden angel to meet the sphere, hitting it with a hand and sending it back zooming towards Asuna.

The redhead tried to look at it, to be able to stop it, but the intense light of the sun above hurt her eyes long enough to confuse her.

"The sun is a powerful enemy!" Kiri observed from her watching spot at her window.

And then the ball hit Asuna.

"DAMMIT!" she yelled.

"Asuna-san!" Negi shouted.

"We lost our powerhouse!" Ako shuddered.

"Everything's lost!" Misora despaired. "I'm in despair! Losing Asuna has left me in despair!"

"Will people stop using my catchphrase!" Itoshiki cried. "You're wearing it out!"

"Asuna, you okay?" Konoka helped her roommate back to her feet.

"Of course I'm not okay!" Kagurazaka all but spat fire. "Grrrrr, those cheaters tick me off! Haruna!" she promptly called out.

"Yeah?" the mangaka asked.

"Can you still pull off more crazy unexpected moves like those you did a while ago?" Asuna questioned.

Paru fidgeted. "Well, um, yeah, but—"

"Then you're the next team captain!" Asuna commanded. "And Chao's your lieutenant! We're counting on you two to lead this team to victory!"

"What? Me?" Haruna put both hands on her own substantial chest. "I'm not ready for that responsibility! Any kind of responsibility! Ask anyone! Heck, I hadn't even played this game in more than two years!"

Harumi smirked at her. "Why, that doesn't sound at all like the sister of Saotome Ra—"

Haruna immediately stopped her with a sharp angry stare. "Asuna. Hand me the ball."

Asuna smiled and tossed it into her hands. "Have a blast."

Haruna forced a grin and slowly fell into a new fighting stance. "Let's Get Dangerous..." she crooned.

Elsewhere, far, far away, in the depths of the Calisota state of Mundus Magicus, someone sneezed. "My... catchphrase..."

* * *

><p>Fujiyoshi Harumi breathed in and out, keeping her wits about her while planning a game outcome in the back of her mind. Paru's kids were better than expected. They already had gotten Ai, Meru, Kanako, and Nami. That left only herself, Kaere, Chiri, Kafuka, Mayo, Maria and Matoi still in the game. They still had a disadvantage in numbers, although...<p>

Oh, wait. Mayo had just clonked Hasegawa in the head. Someone less to worry about.

Negi-sensei had rushed to Hasegawa's side in concern, helping her to walk out of the court, taking her by a hand nervously while she never stopped groggily muttering things like "No fair, I'm supposed to be the protagonist..." and "Ku ku ku... Negi, bring me my lipstick and the green dress... I feel like being the Forest Fairy..." and "Digi-modify!"

That spurred 2-F into a new offensive bout that Lingshen and Saotome could barely hold back, with some minor assistance from Ookuchi. The rest of them were nothing, and they all knew it. Harumi smirked to herself. It was great seeing Paru-chan actually trying at something again.

Harumi hadn't felt actually excited about playing a game in years...

Then the Dean's granddaughter fell to a well-placed volley from Chiri-chan. Maybe Chiri-chan went too far with the throw's potency, to be fair, but that was her nature, after all. Still, it certainly wouldn't make them popular with the public at all; Konoka had a lot of admirers. Harumi tried to block out the boos and hisses from the crowd, and Itoshiki's groans as some enraged onlookers tossed Coke cans at his head. None of that mattered. They had always been outcast freaks, after all. At least they weren't likely to get sunk as low as that Suzumiya weirdo…

Sakurazaki's intervention still took her by surprise, though. The thin short girl stood up violently as Asuna helped her roommate back to her feet, and her eyes burned with a new choleric fire. She jerked her head aside and shouted, "REFEREE!"

"... Yes?" Suzushiro-sempai lazily lifted her head from the budget for the next school term she had been checking for the last few minutes.

"As a member of Class 2-A, I demand to be allowed to replace a fellow team member who is clearly unable to continue playing!" Setsuna shouted.

"Pleaseletitbeme, pleaseplease..." Misora prayed, her teeth clattering.

"Who?" Haruka snorted.

Much to Misora's panic, Setsuna pointed at Ako instead. "I mean her! She's obviously feeling ill and can't go on like that!"

"What?" Ako poked a finger at her own chest. "Me? Um, no, actually, I'm feeling just—"

Setsuna stared into her eyes, almost drilling into them. "No. You actually feel _very _ill, don't you...?" she said, with a polite but extremely tense tone.

"Well, err, it's not like I'm such a... a..." Izumi stammered helplessly.

"_Don't you_...?" Setsuna's stare grew harder.

The other girl gulped meekly. "I do now...!"

Haruka sighed and nodded. "Okay, fine. The change is authorized. Player Sakurazaki officially replaces Player Izumi for the reminder of the game!"

"Remainder, Haruka-chan," Yukino, well, reminded her.

"You can do it, Setchan!" Konoka wildly cheered, jumping up and down.

Setsuna had to take a moment to rip her eyes from the bouncy goodness.

Setsuna calmly took the place left by Ako, then gave another stare to Nodoka, who was now in possession of the ball. "Miyazaki-san."

"Y-Yes!" Nodoka nervously handed the ball over at her.

At another point of the crowd, a freckled girl with dark brown short pigtails looked at the blue eyed redhead sitting next to her. "Asuka-chan, isn't that against the rules? To pass the ball like that?"

"Who cares?" she grumbled. "This isn't Dodgeball, it's Calvinball!"

As soon as she had the ball, Setsuna took impeccable aim, then shot the ball straight into Chiri's mouth.

"THAT'S A FOUL!" Harumi called out as Chiri plummeted down flatly on her back.

Haruka looked back and forth at the girls before finally pulling a red card, nodding and blowing on her whistle. "Both Player Kitsu from 2-F and Player Sakurazaki from 2-A are out!"

Setsuna turned around and walked away indifferently. Her only objective in the game was done.

Chiri, meanwhile, got back to her feet, wiping the blood off her mouth before feeling something small and hard rolling her tongue. She spat it out, only to see it was... a bloody tooth.

The ensuing scream shook all of Mahora. "THE PERFECT SYMMETRY OF MY MOUTH! RUINED FOREVER! I'LL KILL YOU FOR THIS!"

It took Kaere, Harumi, Nami, and the benchwarmers Kotokon, Manami and Abiru all piling up on her to subdue her.

* * *

><p>As the timer came inexorably closer to the game's end, Class 2-F redoubled their efforts to put 2-A out of commission, with notably good results. Akira, being a tall and rather big target, eventually was tagged by Matoi. Without her favored hiding place on the field anymore, Misora lasted a little longer by just running away like hell whenever the ball was headed her way, but Harumi tricked her into running straight into her sights. Haruna landed a ball on Maria shortly after, but just as soon, Makie was hit by a casual shot from Kafuka. "Ooops! I'm sorry!" Fuura said, actually sounding regretful, even if in a whimsical way.<p>

The crowd watched in mesmerized amazement at the intense, rabid match, awed at the athletic prowess of the remaining players (at least, those not named Nodoka or Yue). Well, many of them were mesmerized by that, although there were exceptions...

Sitting in the middle of the main group of teachers, a tall, slack jawed black haired man with glasses sighed deeply while gazing over and over at the girls' lower sections. "Ahhhh... Short shorts, long happiness..."

Fujisawa gave him a really creeped out stare. "Isn't one of them your niece, Kimura?"

"I never let mere bonds of genetic connection interfere with the proper aesthetic appreciation of the female form!"

Chao was actually starting to feel tired. Was she growing rusty and unfocused, or was 2-F really that good? Maybe she should try to recruit a few of them up for Mahorafest, although they were loose cannons and probably more trouble than they were worth.

She was still struggling with the matter when she noticed the ball passing zooming by next to her, colliding squarely against Negi of all people.

Ooops. Yes, maybe she was growing careless with time. She'd need to look into that.

"SENSEI!" Makie cried.

"BRAT!" Asuna shouted.

"NEGI-BOUZOU!" Ku Fei gasped.

"NEGI-SENSEI!" Ayaka screamed.

Chisame still lay with her head on Hakase's lap, the teen genius and Sakurako fanning her over with a _Thermonuclear Physics Swimsuit Illustrated _magazine, Dr. Stein on the cover. "Sensei? You fighting Evangeline again? Tch tch. Wait for me, I'll blast her over with my magical pink scepter of sugary cute doom..."

"What is she talking about?" Shiina asked.

Satomi laughed unconvincingly. "She plays a lot of online videogames..."

"I'm... I'm okay!" Negi stood up wearily, shaking his head. "I'm not hurt at all, Nekane! I mean, girls! I feel all right! Go on, girls! I trust the ten of you to win!"

"Sensei, there's only four of us left," Haruna pointed at herself, Yue, Nodoka and Chao.

"We're so screwed," Yue philosophized.

"It doesn't matter if there are four, ten, or forty of you left, Iinchou-san!" Negi groggily declared with a drunk's energetic resolution. "As long as one of you stands, you haven't lost yet! And even then, I'll never lose my faith in you! No matter what, always keep up looking ahead, never giving up! To Infinity and beyond! Falling only means you can get up again! And just as long as you keep getting up, you'll always be winners... and my heroines," he passionately finished before pausing and adding, "Also, I'd like some Pringles!"

"Sensei...!" Nodoka was moved to tears.

"... Sensei, I'm not Iinchou," Haruna told him. "My breasts aren't that small!"

"_**HEY!**_" Ayaka and Roberta both cried in indignation.

Haruka looked at Yukino and clapped twice. "Get that poor boy a bag of ice for his head, and some Pringles as well!"

"Right now, Haruka-chan..." the submissive student rushed for it.

Over at the 2-F side, Kafuka only stared on blankly, randomly distracted by the flight of a nearby butterfly. Mayo simply stood quiet with her eternal neutral yet DEEPLY EVIL expression. Kaere huffed in disgust. Harumi analyzed the scene carefully, never letting her guard down, and Matoi... well, she had just fallen in deep love all over again.

"He's... so wise..." the recurring stalker marveled, her breath now coming out in quicker, shorter pants. It was exactly as creepy as it sounded. "So smart, and cute as a button, too... how could I never notice it before?" she mused. "His words have such a real fire and courage to them, unheard of even in adults. He's a dreamer, and yet he has achieved more than far too many realists at such a short age. Oh! Negi-sensei! I was a fool, ignoring you for so long! But as of now, Tsunetsuki Matoi pleads her undying devotion to you! Indeed, before all of this school I declare my—!"

The very next second, she was catching a ball in the face.

Harumi smiled anew as she saw Haruna standing before them, fuming while Negi was taken away. Both bespectacled mangakas tensely faced each other. Chao, Nodoka and Yue waited behind Saotome. Kaere, Kafuka and Mayo did the same behind Fujiyoshi.

"Okay, Sempai, now we're even," Haruna smirked challengingly. It was a smirk truly worthy of her brother. "Time for the final dance. One shall stand and one shall fall! Let the battle be joined! 2-A, _transform and roll out!_"

* * *

><p>With the clock just a couple of minutes away from the endgame and both teams tied up in numbers, the crowd watched expectantly as the girls went all out. Chao managed to land a hit on Kafuka fairly soon, although as expected, Fuura didn't seem to mind at all. Much to her shock, however, a rather smart combination attack from Fujiyoshi and Kimura managed to brush her shortly afterwards.<p>

Perhaps it was just a stroke of luck for them. At least that was what she told herself.

And to be fair, they both were competent, skilled players.

But she had been trying.

And yet, for some reason, it happened.

It was wrong.

What was happening to her?

She sighed, plopping down on the bench next to Ku. Her dark skinned friend patted her on the back with as little subtlety and as much enthusiasm as she always displayed. "A really great game, huh? Ahhhh, finding worthy rivals is always so good-aru!"

"Yeah. I guess winning isn't always everything, ne?" Chao tried to make one of her habitual carefree smiles. But for some reason, it wasn't working the same way anymore.

She almost could hear the ominous clock ticking back to zero in her head.

What was she missing?

Now it was all pretty much only up to Haruna to hold the fort, and no one in her camp, except her two closest friends, had any actual hopes of her pulling it off. But much to their surprise, the nerd could actually move like a pro, despite her usual laziness at anything that didn't involve flipping through books, sketching smut, or suggestive teasing. Relentlessly, she kept on protecting Nodoka and Yue all by herself, playing practically alone against her three Sempais, puffing heavily but never relenting, until finally...

"SAOTOME SUPER-AWESOME DRILL SHOT!"

Mayo was out now as well, and although her expression didn't change at all, her eyes spoke of horrible traumatizing revenge. But Nodoka and Yue were still far too contented to actually notice it.

"You're great, Haruna!" Nodoka all but swooned.

"Just keep it for a few minutes more and we'll win, three-to-two," Yue said. "Do you think you can do it?"

"Pffft," Paru clenched a grin, her large breasts moving up and down with her now tumultuous breathing. Many people stared. "Piece of cake. Just watch me..."

Harumi whispered to the tense, scowling Kaere. "All we have to do is elude her guard to hit the shorties. She's tired, it shouldn't be hard. If we play this right, we'll manage to hit them both with a single bouncing shot. Roger?"

"Roger. Your play," the busty blonde nodded.

Harumi made a feint for Haruna herself, but it was just a decoy; as soon as Saotome hit it back, Kaere jumped up to intercept it, then rocketed it back past Paru's left shoulder, taking advantage of her weakest angle and landing a solid hit on Yue's small frame.

"Crap!" Asuna bit her tongue.

"Yuecchi!" Haruna gasped.

The tiny girl sighed, one knee on the ground. "Should've known. Sorry, Haruna. I'm just not made for this..."

Haruna sighed back and rubbed one of her shoulders. For once, not teasingly at all, just with friendly fondness. "Nonsense. You did great. You kept on dodging like a professional. Go, I'll take care of everything else."

Yue nodded, looking up at her and meeting her eyes. "I know you will."

For a moment, the two were lost in their own little world, faces gradually inching closer and closer until…

"Uh, right," Haruna said, looking away. "Well, I have ass to go kick!"

Nodoka gulped as her tall friend regained her position while Yue blinked in confusion, realizing what had just happened. Everyone who knew Haruna was thinking the same thing. _Did she just… __**let a perfect opportunity GO?!**_

Harumi smiled. _She's actually prioritizing this over her lewdness…_

Only a few scarce minutes of game remained.

Both brunette mangakas stared at each other.

"We're down to a single partner each, but at least mine can play, eh, Paru-chan?" Harumi evenly said. "Just give it up. You did very well. There's no shame on losing now."

"What, are you trying to weasel out? This isn't over until your mom sings!"

"Ooohhh, now you've done it! At least my father isn't a scam artist, and my brothers don't wear feminine underwear!"

"SHUT UP! GUYS WHO TURN INTO WOMEN ARE HOT AND YOU KNOW IT! YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!"

All of the rest of 2-A but Evangeline and the still out of her mind Chisame cringed.

"Wha-What was that all about?" Natsumi asked.

"I always knew she had no limits, but this... this...!" Ayaka grimaced.

Yuuna at first was as repulsed as everyone else, but then... "Ummm, a brother complex...?" she rubbed her chin. "Nah, maybe if it were a father complex..."

"I'll pretend I never heard that," Akira said.

* * *

><p><em>Why did you all but leave us, Paru?<em>

_Look at them; weak, pitifully frail, clueless and lacking all we have. The passion to pursue a dream, the fire of creativity, content to dig through old creations and not make new ones. Do they make you feel better because you're clearly their superior? Do you find that rewarding, to rule over your bookstore anthill? Languishing between dusty books while we actually strive to create something?_

They had reached a truly frantic crescendo now, Haruna protecting Nodoka while fighting, yes, for all intents and purposes fighting, the two older girls at once, even though it was clear she couldn't last for much longer.

_Now look at yourself. You've become too complacent. Missing your deadlines, forgetting everything your old man ever taught you. You're a shadow of the girl I once met. But if this match can make you see that, then I'll be happy._

At the seats of the Manga Club, Hiyori and Patty looked on with baffled concern. The foreigner's mouth hung slightly open, as the bespectacled brown haired girl doodled on her notebook with increasing detachment, too absorbed with the final motions of the contestants, but also with their frustrated, sweaty faces, showing their strain, their stubborn refusal to lose.

As both mangakas got more into it, however, both of their partners struggled to find their own places at the court. For Nodoka, it was actually easier; she only had to roughly keep herself behind Haruna, trying to avoid being an obstacle. But for Kaere, full of pride and exuberant energy, finding herself suddenly ignored by a teammate just so she could focus on her personal affair was aggravating. The blonde started to actually push around for more chances at the ball, trying to finish the game by herself, ruining the team dynamics at the very last few moments, Harumi actually fighting back in her own refusal to renounce personal victory.

That gave Haruna an opening. With a final effort, she struck the ball, her move more a punch than a throw, fist slamming into the poor, abused piece of sports equipment with a cry of "_SAOTOME DIVINE BUSTER!_" In the blink of an eye, the ball swooshed right before Harumi's eyes, barely missing her to land on Kimura instead. The blonde was thrown back hard, actually bouncing twice before stopping. As expected, the blonde quickly recovered with an onslaught of indignant lawsuit threats, but it took a while, and no one was paying her any more attention. 2-A had just gained a 2 to 1 advantage at the very edge of the game. Nodoka smiled with relief, and Haruna paused for only a moment in renewed smug confidence, thinking of things to come, Negi's praises and Ayaka's speeches in her honor. Maybe even Ranma would finally acknowledge her…

But Harumi didn't miss a beat.

Indifferent to her classmate's downfall, the only thing in her mind now was she had just found an opening of her own.

_Are they so important for you, Paru?_

_Fine._

Haruna barely reacted in time to see the ball flying towards Nodoka, even before Honya herself noticed it. She then saw the horror face of her friend, her eyes growing huge behind the thick bangs, and her instincts kicked in.

A dash ahead.

A brief stumble at the worst possible moment.

Not big enough to make her fall, big enough to foil any counter. Nothing to do but receiving the ball for Nodo-chan.

She gritted her teeth and knew what she had to do.

"_SAOTOME SELF-SACRIFICE TECHNIQUE!_"

Make it look like she'd planned to do that.

Hiyori and Patty stared, aghast.

Yue fought the completely alien urge to curse.

Asuna and Ayaka's jaws fell, rolling on the floor like discarded baseballs.

Even Itoshiki was impressed.

When Nodoka returned to reality moments afterwards, she trembled, looking at Haruna's sighing, downcast frame. "H-H-Haruna... You... You..."

Slowly, the taller girl put a hand on Nodoka's right shoulder. "It's okay, Nodo-chan. It's just a game."

"But... But you could've have won if you... had just left me to..."

"Like I said, a game. Nothing worth you getting hurt."

"But... now she'll hit me anyw—"

"No, she won't. Not now, if she knows what's good for her," Saotome softly hushed her. "And mostly, no, because you won't allow her to hit you. Right?"

The petite teen gasped, then finally nodded with reborn resolution. "No. I mean, yes. Yes, I won't."

A sly smirk, and Haruna squeezed her shoulder reassuringly. "Atta a girl."

Haruna walked out, winking an eye at her final teammate, then shooting Harumi a cold warning glare.

Only one minute of game left.

A complete, chilling silence had fallen all over the court and the crowd. Even Momoko, Miyako and Kaoru at the commentators' box had fallen silent.

Harumi held the ball in her hands. She had won. All she had to do was to volley over at Miyazaki before the time ran out. They all knew she couldn't hit a ball back to save her life. It was so simple.

But she couldn't do anything but looking at Miyazaki's determined, brave beyond all reason, huge, soulful eyes, half camouflaged under those bangs.

_Why have you put your faith on her, Paru? Why are you so foolish?_

_Why do you like them so much?_

_Why are you happy with them?_

Harumi felt everyone's eyes on her. Especially 2-F's. Chiri's. Kaere's. Despair-sensei's. Ai's. Abiru's. Even those of that balding boy who sat the back of the class... what was his name again?

She gulped, then prepared a new, final throw...

And flinched.

She let the ball roll out of her fingers and to the ground, much to Nodoka's, and everyone else's, puzzlement. Then she crouched down making a pained, straining face, grabbing her own right wrist, making a few urgent, whimpering noises.

"Harumi-chan?-!" Nami asked.

"I... I think I overdid that last shot! Argh! Damn, that hurts! Been forcing myself too much through the game... My wrist… my precious drawing wrist! No… no, I can't risk it! "

Haruka-sempai blinked, then blew on the whistle. "TIME OUT! PLAYER FUJIYOSHI FROM 2-F FORFEITS DUE TO INJURY! CLASS 2-A IS DECLARED THE VICTOR!"

All of the (not groggy) 2-A students watched in utter disbelief for a moment, then exploded into an avalanche of cheers and laughs.

Chiri, on the other hand, walked over to a tree and began bashing her head against it. "So close...! So infuriatingly close...! What has happened to the scales of justice?-!"

Itoshiki sighed. "I knew they were having too much of a good luck streak..."

Manami looked at Kafuka and shrugged. "What does it matter, we made a good showing, doesn't it?"

"We didn't actually lose! It's impossible for something right out of _Mighty Casey At Bat _to happen in real life! We just had a draw that was ruined by the match lasting one minute too long!" Kafuka laughed without any concern in the world.

"Man, what an anticlimax," Kaoru murmured, resting her chin in her hand palms.

At her side, Momoko and Miyako hugged sharing a squeeing declaration. "IT'S A MIRACLE!"

"Kaere-chaaaaaaan!" Kimura-sensei jumped down to greet Kaere with open arms. "You'll always be a winner for m—"

She just punched him in the face. "Back off, uncle! Remember, I still have a restraining order against you!"

"HONYA-CHAN! HONYA-CHAN! OUR HEROINE!" 2-A chanted as they surrounded the shy librarian.

"Ehhhh?" Miyazaki gasped. "N-No, no, I didn't do anything at all! I don't deserve any—!"

"LET'S TOSS HER UP!" Haruna pumped a fist up.

"Wait, no—!" Nodoka uselessly protested before the girls grabbed her and started tossing her up between cheers and hoorays. "Yueeee! Help!"

Her best friend made a small smile and shook her head. "No, you have earned it. Enjoy it, Nodoka. I'm so proud of you."

"Ah! Whose hand is that on my–"

"Making up for lost time, Nodo-chan!" Haruna cried.

Yue sighed, partly in disappointment, partly in relief. "She's back…"

Nami looked at Harumi's wrist with concern. "I can't find what's wrong with it, but... Abiru-chan, you know the way to the nurse's office better than anyone. Can you get her there while I look for Marikawa-sensei?"

"Yes," the tall and heavily bandaged girl with pigtails nodded while helping Harumi back to her feet, then walked her along out of the court. The mangaka took a brief casual glimpse at the celebrating 2-A, out of a corner of her eye. She found Evangeline looking at no one but her, with a knowing small glint on her green eyes. She hadn't been fooled. But mostly, Harumi saw Haruna's happy face, and that alone told her it had been worth it.

_Oh, Paru. The things we have to do for you._

* * *

><p>As the cheering of the crowd began dying down, and everyone started retreating back to their dorms under the quietly falling dusk, Takamichi shook his head slowly, passing a hand through his hair. "Oh, Negi, Negi... You still have so much to learn..."<p>

Standing at his right, Shizuna-sensei laughed easily. "Ara ara, but he at least can bond with them in a way we never could manage, can't he?"

"It's more like he's their little brother, rather than their teacher..." the man amusedly commented before focusing his attention on Asuna, who was patting a still wobbly and dizzy Nodoka's head. "Although sometimes... a relative is all what is truly needed..."

The contusions had finally lulled Chisame and Negi down into a blissful sleep, and Sakurako softly pushed them together and covered them up to their necks with a blanket. "Awww, don't you think they look really cute like this, Satomi-chan?"

"Yes, I think so until I remember I'll be the one to carry them back home..." the scientist exhaled, inwardly debating on if she should risk using her Artifact and passing it up as one of her inventions. "But on second thought... Chachamaru!" she called out.

The gynoid approached quickly. "Yes, Hakase-san?"

"Could you please take a firm hold of Negi-sensei and carry him straight to bed?" her creator asked.

A brief pause. "... Yes. O-Of course I wouldn't mind."

"Good, good! And could you do the same thing with Chisame while you're at it?"

A longer pause. "I... I guess, if you wish me to do so... But..."

Hakase cast a curious glare on her face. "When did I install a blush function into you?"

"Five months and six days ago. You said it'd be a helpful visual tactic for the next evaluation committee," Chachamaru dutifully reported.

"Ah, yes," Satomi remembered. "By the way, haven't I installed 'those other appliances' I told you about yet?"

A new blush. "No, not really."

The genius took a notepad and pen out. "This Wednesday after classes, at the usual lab."

"Can I watch?" Sakurako asked, despite not having any idea what did they meant at all.

Meanwhile, the mood of Team 2-F was definitely a miserable one.

"It can't be...!" Chiri was on her hands and knees, shaking violently. "This couldn't possibly have happened! We were robbed by random chance! None of this makes any sense!"

"Of course it doesn't!" Itoshiki walked closer, grabbing their attentions with a commanding exclamation. "Destiny is man's biggest enemy! There is no dishonor in falling prey to it! It's everyone's ultimate destination! What matters is you made a brave, commendable and tragically beautiful effort! Is there anything as romantic as a doomed charge? No! Any loser can win and slide away into the horizon with banal ease, but it takes a real winner to lose as majestically as you have!"

"Sensei!" Nami said.

"All the best books and films do feature sad endings! Who would remember Romeo and Juliet if they had lived happily ever after? What merit would the Iliad hold if Achilles and Patroclus had married and achieved perfect domestic happiness? What would Peanuts be if Charlie Brown kicked the football or managed to fly a kite? And real life imitates art!" Nozomu lectured. "Without defeats, our lives are nothing but gray long patches of dull contentment! The mere idea drives me to frightful tears! So rejoice, my students! Today, you have reaffirmed my faith on the inherent unfairness of the universe! And for that, I salute you! I feel at home, surrounded by so many wonderful failures! Otherwise, I never could catch up to you!"

He threw his hands up. "DESPAIR! LACK OF DESPAIR WOULD DRIVE ME TO DESPAIR!"

They all looked tearfully at him. "Sensei...!" Manami sobbed.

"You DO care...!" Kafuka rejoiced.

"Loonies, the whole lot of them," Evangeline commented.

Then they all jumped on him. Except for Matoi, who still was unconscious and left aside on the now cold hard ground.

"HELP!" he cried out. "NEGI-SENSEI...!"

* * *

><p>Ako had left the celebrations early after being called over by Marikawa-sensei to the infirmary. She figured Fujiyoshi-sempai's injury had to be worse than she had thought at first, but much to her surprise, it was the polar opposite. When she examined it at Marikawa-sensei's urging, she could find nothing at all wrong with it.<p>

"Sempai," she gazed at her with disbelief. "You're perfectly fine!"

"Why, thank you..." the mangaka mockingly purred. She WAS Haruna's mentor, after all.

"I-I don't mean that!" Ako stammered. "You feigned your injury! Why? If your classmates ever learn it, they'll—!"

Harumi calmly held a hand up to forestall her. "Probably have me drawn and quartered, all evenly divided with mathematical precision courtesy of Chiri, yes I know." The ridiculously huge busted blond school nurse and her soft spoken, flat blue haired assistant listened. "2-F are my day-to-day partners. But Paru-chan is, even after all this time, my best friend." There was a sigh. "Don't get me wrong. Up until the absolute last minute, I was perfectly willing, even eager, to take you all out of the game. You had overstepped your limits. And Paru really needed a lesson in keeping her priorities straight, or so I thought."

"Why?" Ako asked.

The older girl shrugged. "Maybe it was just jealousy. Ever since she joined the Library Exploration Club, she spends most of her time there. We are mostly an afterthought, after we were the first ones here to extend a friendly hand to her. Before today, I never could understand why."

She inhaled, looking out a window. "I still don't really understand it, of course. But when I saw that girl, Nodoka, trying so hard to live up to Paru's hopes despite clearly having no chance... I wondered what would have I achieved if I had taken her down. I wouldn't bring Paru back. And I wouldn't make her happy at all, either. I realized I had been petty over the whole thing, while that girl... actually acted as a friend. I was expending needless energy on a homoerotic subtext while trying to bring by friend over to my level, whether she wanted to or not, whether it was good for her or not. Maybe they deserve Paru more than us."

The busty woman pulled a tissue out and began to make soft puppy-like sobs, drying her eyes out. "That's... that's just so cute...!"

"Sempai..." Ako breathed.

"As a Club Vice-president, my duty is to guarantee the comfort and contentment of all our members," Harumi continued. "If Paru needs her own space away from us, so be it. We'll just have to cope without her... ahhh... drawing power, and—"

"You're just being silly!" Ako abruptly said.

The mangaka looked at the normally shy nurse assistant, who was blushing with shame about speaking so loudly, but also holding herself enough to continue. Come to think of it, her expression was pretty reminiscent of Miyazaki's at the game now. Harumi wondered what was the actual deal with that class's girls.

"If Haruna means so much for you, why don't you just tell her yourself?" Ako managed to say. "What's so hard about talking it up with her? Can't you just spit it out?"

Fujiyoshi lowered her head. "I guess I didn't want to come as if I was pressuring her. Through this game, I was hoping for her at least to realize she has been wasting her potential, without being obvious about it. Instead I just bonded her further to her other club."

"Well, DUH! Your approach was taunting her, threatening her friends and making her wonder why she was ever friends with you in the first place!" Ako threw up her hands in exasperation. "Talk it over. A relationship built on hidden truths isn't one. It's just obsessive stalking. Considering your classmates, you should know how that goes. A relationship means you two _relate_."

"I'll think about it," Harumi blandly promised. "Thanks. You have a true nurse's soul."

Marikawa-sensei rested a hand on Ako's right shoulder. "Yes, Yohko and I are very proud of her devotion to our job!"

"N-No, it's nothing, actually..." the short girl regained her usual shy, fumbling attitude.

Still waiting right outside the door, standing at the lonely hall, the silently listening Kobushi Abiru finished carefully detailing the conversation before walking away before anyone noticed she still was there. The bandaged girl smiled softly to herself as she headed back towards her dorm.

Ah, Harumi. What would they do with her?

…

Blackmail at some point in the future seemed in order. Abiru _was_ still 2-F after all…

* * *

><p>The next day, Itoshiki sighed as he vaguely caressed his bruised, aching right arm, and silently cursed Maria's excessive affection. He began taking the roll calling for the morning's class.<p>

"Kobushi Abiru?"

"Here."

"Komori Kiri?"

"Here!"

"Oora Kanako?"

"Here..."

"Tsunetsuki Matoi?"

No answer.

Itoshiki sounded very slightly concerned. "Hasn't Tsunetsuki-san recovered from yesterday's contusion yet?"

"She woke up shortly after your defeat speech," Nami said. "She seemed fine, or at least as fine as she ever is."

"I know it's somehow my fault," Ai lamented.

"Wait, remember her reaction after Negi-sensei's motivational speech," Manami asked. "Don't tell me she's..."

Everyone cringed at the reminder of what the resident stalker could do.

"I feel so deeply sorry for him," Nozomu sighed, his head slumping down.

"Him? _She's_ the one who has to compete with a class full of experienced pedos!" Chiri said. The rest of the class nodded. "A moment of silence for Tsunetsuki-san! We knew her… well, a little." They all bowed their heads.

"It's not pedophilia, it's an early May-December romance!" Kafuka chirped.

At 2-A, Ayaka gave a highly annoyed glare at the girl refusing to leave the normally empty first seat of the classroom, the one reserved for one Aisaka Sayo. "And I tell you, this isn't your class! You can't be here! Now leave before I'm forced to resort to violence! Hey, are you listening at all?!"

Negi trembled as he felt the perfectly still and silent Matoi's eyes fixed on him. The girl even had arrived wearing a perfect copy of his suit, shoes and tie. And she simply looked at him, in a deeply loving way, one so intense you almost could swear it made a long pitched sound, as if it was cutting through the air.

_**Jiiiiii...**_

Sayo peeked her head out the window and called out, "Kiri-chan! Come here and drag your classmate out of MY seat...!"

Haruna only smiled and looked down at the note Matoi had brought her right before starting her stalking. It came from Harumi.

_Hey there. Great game yesterday._

_Got an idea out of all this. You interested on a dodgeball manga for next term?_

The artist closed her eyes happily.

So, she didn't hate her, after all.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Epilogue:<strong>_

Negi suddenly jerked up straight. "Hey!" he said. "Why didn't _I_ get an end-of-term bonus?"

Chisame clobbered him with a pillow. "It's the middle of the night. Go back to sleep…" she murmured.

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	12. Recommended! The Child Strolling Brigade

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts.<strong>

With credits (again) to proofreader and co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Recommended! The Child Strolling Brigade.<strong>

* * *

><p>"Satomi-san..."<p>

She stirred and grumbled while pulling the sheets closer to her face, shrinking away from him. He still kept on poking her upper back with a finger, however, and the Freudian implications of such a thing were finally enough to move her to wake up, lazily sitting up at her bed, her pajama shirt's right shoulder slipping down only a bit as she rubbed the cobwebs off her eyes and spitting hair out of her mouth.

"What do you want, Sensei...?" she said, trying to block out visions of…well, Haruna and Chamo-approved imagery.

The boy sitting at her side gestured for her to keep her voice low. "Chisame-san's sleeping..."

"Yeah, and so was I..." she mumbled, her eyelids struggling to stay up. "As a matter of fact, in two minutes I will be deeply immersed in sleeping inactivity again unless you manage to supply me with a good reason to remain awake…" More imagery was dully blocked out. Damn her being made aware of the activities usually related to these hormonal imbalances! Think about Sakurako, Sakurako… _damn, _that just made it worse…

"Well, it's not often I can talk to you privately..." he said, moving his face closer to her's."We're always at classes, or with Chisame-san, or you're at your lab... and I've had something to tell you for days... something I can't tell you in front of Chisame-san..."

She recoiled, gaining a distinctive shade of red over her cheeks. She slid back on her butt uncomfortably, her loose pajamas sliding down slightly, edging away from him until she was about to fall off the bed.

"Sensei! I'm, um, honored, but we should not... I mean, I already am... it's not anything serious yet, but... although, I'm in no commitment yet, and if I were ever to... what I mean is, better to end it while it's still early and won't cause any serious harm to her, but still... am I dreaming? I guess so, and I suppose that in case it'll be all right to say yes, so... yes, I accept." She smiled goofily, eyes half-lidded with sleep. "Yes, it must be that dream again..."

He stared at her in complete, absolute puzzlement. "Pardon me?"

Hakase paused, saw he wasn't tackling her and slowly taking off her clothes as she futilely protested before she switched to begging him and agreeing loudly with whatever he was doing to her as usually happened in that hideous, uncomfortable, disturbingly mesmerizing recurring dream, then replied in a helpless cracked voice, "You are not a dream, are you...?"

He only nodded very slowly, his expression filled with concern.

She groaned, running a hand down her face. "I am such an idiot..." The girl shot him a glare. "Forget I ever told you this, and not a single word to anyone, most especially not Chisame and Sakurako!"

"... Satomi-san, are you feeling okay?"

"Yes. Yes, I am," she breathed firmly. "Now, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Chisame-san's birthday is in one week, isn't it?"

The young female paused again. "... I can't remember. I'm very bad with non-historical dates. I don't even remember my father's birthday."

Then she bit her tongue. "Ooops, just remembered. Last Friday! I'll have to call him tomorrow..."

"You mean you—" he started, but then decided to stay on his intended subject, ruthlessly quashing his urge to yell at her at the unpardonable sin. "Never mind. I assume you haven't anything ready for that date yet?"

"You know Chisame. She's never been one for parties..."

"But she seemed to enjoy herself a lot at the Christmas one..." he argued.

A brief anguished moan came from the bunk above. "No... Haruna... Keep your goddamn hands off my waist... I'm not into that kind of dance..." Chisame's voice gurgled. "Eh, not you too, Hak…" Her voice faded out.

"Define 'enjoy' in that context, please," Satomi asked Negi.

He instinctively cringed. "I... I think I'd prefer not to..."

* * *

><p>"What did you do last year for Chisame-san's birthday, Satomi-san?" Negi asked again.<p>

The scientist put a hand on her chin, trying to make memory. "Nothing that I can remember, actually."

"Nothing at all? Not even a small birthday party?"

"No. Her relatives called to congratulate her, and that was all," Hakase reminisced.

"They didn't even visit?" the child's eyes grew rounder.

"She told me she preferred it that way," Hakase lay back on her pillow. She realized her butt was hanging out of her pants and pulled them up. "It seems she doesn't get along with her father."

"Why?"

"I have no idea. She's never told me, and I value my physical condition far too much to ask."

The teacher sighed, but still didn't fully relent. "Haven't you ever met him?"

"Not at all," Satomi shook her head. "Chisame doesn't even keep any photograph that I know of."

"And her siblings?" he insisted. "She has an older sister, and older brother, and a younger sister, doesn't she?"

Satomi paused to ponder, sitting back up. "Yes, she does. Her older brother studies at the combined school all the way at the other side of the campus, and I think he shares a social club with one of my research partners, Shiguma Rika-san. I met her older sister once. She came to fill some paperwork for the Dean last year, and attended the parents' reunion."

"What's she like?" Negi asked.

At that point, out of nowhere, Chamo appeared and climbed up onto his right shoulder, nodding eagerly, barely holding his voice down. "Yeah, tell us, Sato-chi! I bet she's really tall and sexy... I mean, pretty, isn't she? Isn't she?"

"Actually, she's very short and flat, freckled and introverted," the teenager answered. "If you ever meet her, you'll probably think she looks more like she is Murakami-san's sister."

"But she's still cute, right?" Chamo asked.

Hakase scratched her nose. "I suppose you could say so. I wouldn't really know. I'm not much of a judge of the aesthetic qualities of my fellow females." She firmly kicked down the Haruna-sounding part of her that she suspected was her embryonic libido telling her Sakurako was hot.

"Is there any way to call them?" Negi sounded hopeful again. "Some phone number? An e-mail address?"

"Are you thinking of reuniting them for Chisame's birthday?" Satomi guessed. "I'm not sure that would be such a wise idea. If they choose to stay apart from each other, I'm sure they have their reasons—"

"Please, Satomi-san!" Negi pleaded, grabbing her hands and starring at her with his best puppy-dog stare. The genius gasped aloud, trapped by the spell of those huge brown eyes. Finally, she nodded in a stiff fashion and jumped off the bed, waddling her way towards Chisame's desk.

Chamo chuckled and elbowed Negi in the ribs. "You've got a real gift, Bro!"

"Gift?" the boy questioned. "Where? And why me? It's not going to be my birthday!"

The ermine puffed. "One of these days we need to have a really long, enlightening conversation on quite a few things."

Negi blinked with confusion before seeing Hakase was grabbing Chisame's laptop. "Ehhhh, Satomi-san, are you sure you should be—"

She held a hand up to silence him as she navigated her way through the computer's databanks, expertly. "Be quiet. You'll wake her up, and if she sees me with my hands on this, not even Chachamaru and Chao will be able to save me." Her lips briefly curved up into a grin. "Eureka."

Negi smiled in a much lighter, naive fashion.

Chamo rubbed his paws together with manic glee. "Hey, are there any cheesecake photos in there?"

Negi blinked. "Why would Chisame take pictures of cake?"

"Really Bro, a long, enlightening talk like Uncle Barney recommends…"

Chisame rolled over in her bed, snorted a few times, and drooled a few drops on her pillow. For some reason, her dreams had managed to get just a wee bit more disturbing.

* * *

><p>"Sora!" The huge, deeply tanned, muscle-bound young man walked into the workshop, wiping his oily hands roughly clean with an old piece of smelly cloth. "Yuh have a call! I think it's some weird soundin' lady sayin' sumthin' about your sister!"<p>

Instantly, the young brown haired woman pulled her head out from under the car she was fixing, adjusting her murky glasses clumsily and gasping. "H-Has something happened to Chisame?!" she asked frantically.

"Dunno," the hulking guy shrugged his wide, rocky, hard shoulders. "Ootaki's talkin' wit' her right now. I don't think she—"

"Thank you, Tamiya-sempai!" she said, nervously bouncing back to her feet, almost stumbling and falling down, only to be caught in the nick of time by the short, black-haired fellow student who had been helping her with the repairs. Blushing, she stood straighter, thanking him with a fast nod of her head. "Th-Thank you, Morisato-sempai! Um, you won't mind if I—"

Morisato Keiichi-sempai just gave her one of his usual sincere but melancholic, tired smiles. "Not at all. Just go. Family always comes first."

"Thanks," she repeated before bolting past Tamiya and into the club's living room. There, their other sempai, a boy almost as tall as Tamiya, but much thinner and with a blond bleached mohawk hairstyle, wearing black biker leather, held the phone while his mouth hung open. "You—You're a GUY?-!-! Umm, err, sorry, dude! I didn't mean all that, then... No, I mean, your voice is nice, but not sexy, for real! Ah, here's Sora-kun. I'll leave you with her. Bye!"

He handed her the phone. "It's some young dude teacher of your sister's. Unless it's really a babe playin' a prank on me. Didn't sound like a guy at all, I think..."

She accepted the phone with a nod, not really understanding his point, and not caring much for once. "Hello? H-Hasegawa Sora here. How's Chisame-chan? Who are you? Is she okay? How much do I have to pay? She's not going to have to transfer to Ohtori, is she?"

"Sora-san?" a small voice with a soft foreign accent said from the other end of the line. "Pleased to meet you! I'm Negi Springfield, your sister's new homeroom teacher..."

She arched her eyebrows. "Did they change Takahata-sensei's post? I hadn't been told... I, um, I mean, pleased to meet you too, Sensei..." Funny, he almost sounded like a child... "To what do I owe this honor?"

She didn't really notice Tamiya and Ootaki hanging around right behind her, shamelessly eavesdropping on her conversation.

"Her birthday? Why, yes, I know it's due in a week..."

"No, I must say I didn't have plans to visit her... Chisame-chan never was the kind of child who cared about birthdays..."

"Me? A-Are you sure, Sensei? Well, it'd be a pleasure... If you're sure she won't protest..."

"Yes... I think I can take two days off from my studies... Yes, for Chisame-chan, I'd do it... I guess it's the least I can do..."

"Same here. W-well, yes, you can count on it. Sure. Please give my regards to Hakase-san as well. Yes. Naturally. A good day to you too."

She hung down with a sigh, her shoulders drooping down.

At that point, even Keiichi was there as well, reaching over to pat her on a shoulder. "Little sisters, huh? I know what's it like."

"Yes, you do... Far much better than me," she miserably sulked. "You've been a much better brother for Megumi-san than I could ever hope to be a sister for Chisame. We haven't even talked in months, and I don't even know where to start..."

"Yuh could start by bein' there," Tamiya gruffed.

She looked way up at him. "Sempai, are you sure you won't mind if I'm absent next week? The finals are almost here, after all..."

The towering man dwarfing her laughed deafeningly. "HAW HAW HAW! We're MEN AMONGST MEN here, Hasegawa! We'll cope just fine! Right, Den-kun? Morisato?"

"No prob!" Ootaki gave a thumbs up.

Morisato weakly imitated his gesture with another bland but honest smile. "Do what you must do, Sora."

She smiled back, then wiped a tiny tear off the corner of her right eye. "Thank you, everyone... You're right; at least this time, I won't fail her again..."

"But bring us cake," Tamiya sternly commanded.

"And photos of that teacher, if she's really a cute babe," Ootaki added. "I still believe she was just kiddin' around wit' me..."

Elsewhere, Negi still stared at his phone with a frazzled expression. "But what does 'sweet-buns' mean?"

* * *

><p>The morning of February the Second, the first thing Chisame saw upon waking was a plate of half burnt sandwiches, a smaller plate of misshapen pretzels, and a large glass of orange juice being all but thrust in her face.<p>

"Happy birthday!" Negi, Chamo and Hakase said at the same time, as the metal arms on Satomi's Artifact backpack tossed a rain of confetti all over the bed.

Chisame blinked stupidly, spat some confetti out, and then breathed out, tapping with her fingers on her own face. "So you remembered, huh?"

"Actually, I didn't," Hakase confessed, pointing at their teacher. "He has everyone's birthdays memorized, so I foresee we'll be doing this a lot through the year."

"Well, not to this degree..." he cautioned."You two would be a special case..."

"That's bad form," Chisame warned dryly, picking a loaf of bread up and examining it carefully, noticing how the edges crumbled into ashes. Clearly Hakase did absolutely no cooking at the Chao Bao Zi. Huh, after all this time, she realized she had absolutely no idea how or why Hakase had a job there. "A teacher shouldn't have favorites."

His eyes grew wider, and he stiffened in place, shaken by such words. "I-I'm not playing any favorites! It's just we live together, so it's only natural for me to—"

"I was kidding, darn it!" Chisame quieted him down with a gesture, then began to reluctantly munch on the sandwich. It tasted horrible, but she forced herself to keep eating. "And besides... I wouldn't mind being a favorite anyway," she quietly mused.

Satomi was puzzled. "Did YOU just say THAT?"

"K-Kidding again," Hasegawa ate a bit faster.

"It's just we've never been anyone's favorites at anything," Satomi laughed, without sounding actually bothered about it. "Even I've always played second place to Chao..."

"Everyone plays second place to Chao at everything. Hell, she'd probably be able to put Evangeline into second place in the big villain department," Chisame huffed, then glared at them. "I don't care about those things, really. By the way, you haven't organized a big noisy party for me with everyone meddling in, have you? I hate those reunions."

"We know, we know," Negi eased her. "We won't do it. We haven't even reminded anyone else about it."

"Not even Kasuga and Kakizaki?" Chisame warily asked.

"Nope," Chamo replied. "I think it's a shame, since Misa-chi getting hot and hammered is probably going to be really fun, but if that's the way you want it..."

"But... you wouldn't be adverse to a small celebration here tonight, would you?" Negi asked shyly.

"Only between us?" the hacker wanted to know.

"Basically, yes..." Satomi said, remembering to keep the surprise unspoiled for now.

Much to her surprise, Chisame actually smiled at that. It wasn't a big smile by any stretch, but it still was warm and kind in its own way.

"Then yes, I'm fine with it. Thank you."

Her three roommates brightened so visibly at that, it stunned her for a short moment. Did it really mean so much for them? Even for Hakase?

Chisame finished with the sandwiches as best as she cold, then reached over for the pretzels. They were hard as rocks, so she resorted to drenching them in the juice. Much to her horror, the liquid corroded them very quickly.

"We cooked breakfast by ourselves, all for you!" Hakase proudly stated.

"I can see," Chisame barely held her urge to cringe back. "How's that waitress job, Hakase?"

Hakase smiled. "Great! Chao's letting me put the salt in the pot now."

"We were about to quit and just buy you something else, but we managed to fix the kitchen in time..." Negi bashfully said.

"The spots at the ceiling will probably take some more work to remove, though..." Chamo added, then laughed, "But it's okay, Sis! No one ever looks at the ceilings, right?"

Chisame gulped the juice down in a single hasty gulp and made her best attempt to still sound civil. "I certainly won't, from now on."

* * *

><p>That afternoon, Hasegawa Sora found herself lost at the Mahora Junior Campus. Again. She really shold stop forgetting to bring a map.<p>

Nekomi Tech, located all the way at the other extreme of the gigantic Academy City, had much smaller grounds, comparatively. Not that Nekomi was actually little at all, but Mahora was a true giant, and despite Negi-sensei giving her instructions on how to reach their dorm over the phone, and the fact she had been there last year, she still was lost as hell, wandering around the campus and growing terribly frustrated.

At one point, she had stopped to ask a young man in a yellow shirt and black pants, with a bandana around his head and carrying a large backpack with an umbrella tied to it, for directions, but the man hadn't even noticed he actually was at Mahora until she told him so. Then he had brightened up, said something about visiting some 'Akane-san', thanked her and left, heading straight towards the woods.

Sora was not a woman who used to getting angry at all, but that situation really was starting to test her patience. She almost wanted to say something bad, like 'Poot'.

Most of the students seemed to have left classes, but they weren't at their usual outdoor and club activities. She reasoned it was due to the incoming tests, but even so, she was annoyed at having no one around to ask, until she almost stumbled into two little nearly identical pink haired girls who seemed to be slacking around. They seemed vaguely familiar.

"Hey! Hey, you!" she called out. "Sorry to disturb you, but you study with Hasegawa Chisame, don't you? Aren't you the Fuyutsuki twins?"

The twins paused in their games to look at her. For a few moments they only gave her a weird stare, until the one with pigtails said, "Ahhh! You're Chisame-chan's sister, aren't 'cha? Yeah, we're the Narutaki sisters! Remember us? I'm Fuuka, and this is Fumika!"

"Hello," the other sister bowed very politely, and Sora bowed in turn. "Um, has something happened to Chisame-chan? It's odd for her to be visited..."

"Oh, no, it's nothing serious..." the young woman replied."Actually, I, um, only came to bring her something for her birthday..."

Fuuka nearly jumped up in place. "Her birthday! Today? Waiiii, she's so bad! Why didn't she tell any of us?"

"Well, you know how she is, Onee-chan," Fumika piped in. "She isn't too close to anyone..."

Fuuka fumed and crossed her arms. "Unforgivable!" she declared. Then she looked back at Sora. "But it isn't your fault, of course. You want to get to her dorm, don't you?"

"Yes, I'm afraid I kind of got lost..." the young adult admitted.

"You got the right women, then!" Fuuka grinned, poking at her own chest with a thumb. "We're members of the Mahora Grounds Exploration Club, also doubling as the Walking Club, and we're familiar with every inch of this campus! We can get you there in a blink!"

"You would do that for me? Thank you very much!" Sora said.

"Yeah, but not yet. At this hour, Negi-sensei still must be teaching the Baka Rangers their review classes, and Chisame-chan usually hangs around playing with her laptop until he's done. In the meantime, why don't we give you a free tour of Mahora? That way, you won't get lost ever again!" the more adventurous girl offered.

"Won't it take long?" the Hasegawa firstborn said doubtfully.

"Not at all!" Fumika grabbed her by a hand. "Come with us! You'll have a lot of fun! What's the worst thing that could happen?"

In blatant violation of universal laws, there was no ominous rubble of thunder at the blatant tempting of fate.

"Okay, okay, you win..." she relented, following after them at a much more sedate pace."Lead the way, please..."

Idly, she wondered if Chisame truly had to go through that every day.

* * *

><p>Chisame sat at a corner of the classroom in perfect silence, searching through the Web in her laptop while Negi reviewed the so-called Baka Rangers' latest set of tests. She silently hoped they would get it right this time so they could go back home already. A small part of her mind yelled at her because she technically didn't have to stay with Negi, but she figured she shouldn't leave the brat alone with the likes of Haruna and Makie.<p>

Saotome and Miyazaki, like always, were right behind Yue's seat; every once in a while, Haruna would attempt to whisper some answers to Ayase, but Nodoka's discreet yet efficient elbow and Chisame's vigilant deadly glares always managed to stop her in time.

Eventually, however, Negi just smiled at her latest test and nodded. "You got a 73 this time, Ayase-san! Good job! You can leave now!"

Yue actually breathed a sigh of relief as her two friends congratulated her. "See? I told you, if you only studied a bit, you'd ace all those tests!" Haruna told her.

"Hardly worth the effort," the shorter girl commented indifferently, while Nodoka thanked Negi with a lot of eager bows.

Once the librarians were gone, Ku Fei finally dared to ask, "So... How we do it, Negi-bozu?"

Negi's expression suddenly changed to one of baffled, barely repressed disappointment, and he sheepishly held other four examination sheets up.

Nagase Kaede: 47.

"Ahhh... I came so close..." the ninja sighed.

Ku Fei: 43.

Ku slammed her forehead against her desk. "Bahhh, I'm so tired of this-aru...!"

Sasaki Makie: 36.

"So low!" Makie blushed, tears welling up on her eyes. "I don't get it! I thought I had done better this time!"

Kagurazaka Asuna: 25.

"... Crap!" Asuna screamed. "This can't be right! Brat, you're robbing me! You're doing this on purpose!"

"Yeah, because spending time with you here is so much fun, he wants to keep you here until the cows come home," Chisame droned from the back of the classroom. The ermine lying at her feet, Asuna could swear, almost seemed to chuckle at that.

"Who asked you?" Asuna nearly spat the words out.

"Now, now, let's take this easy..." Negi sighed patiently. "Let's try again, okay? I'm sure you'll do much better now..."

"Why?" Asuna snarked. "You'll stop cheating with the questions?"

"Maybe he'll make all questions '2 plus 2 equals...?'" Chisame deadpanned.

"Har har," the redhead shot back. "What, did a radioactive Iinchou bite you this morning?"

"Let it go, Asuna," Ku Fei said before grinning at Negi. "Let's go, Negi-bozu! I no surrender until I winner-aru!"

"Now that's the spirit!" Negi smiled before handing her another test sheet. "Show us what you can do, Ku-san!"

"Yeah!" the Chinese girl cheerfully said, then took a good look at the sheet... and her face sunk down again. "On second thought... Good thing we no on curfew today..."

* * *

><p>"So, you're in a Walking Club, huh?" Sora tried to make small talk, something she wasn't any good at, while following the twins across the campus. "That's... It sounds cute, I suppose..."<p>

"Cute? Oh no, it's never 'cute'!" Fuuka protested. "It's a very taxing activity! I take you aren't familiar with the intense world of hardcore walking! Yeah, I can say it by just looking at your legs!"

"Wh-What's wrong with my legs...?" the older girl all but squealed.

"Strolling is a much stricter activity than it looks like, Oneechan," Fumika said, jumping over her question. "Every year, strollers from around the world have serious, long competitions that leave many of them wrecked and broken shells for life..."

"The Sahara Strolling Tour leaves at least five dead contestants per year," Fuuka nodded grimly.

"The Gotham City After Dark Survival Stroll leaves at least three people clinically insane, twice as many criminally insane, inflicts several with strange phobias, turns most of the participants into plant haters and usually makes a tenth of the survivors irrationally comforted by the sight of dark spandex," Fumika said.

"The Metropolis Man of Steel Sky-Watch leaves several bed-ridden with neck cramps and being hit by cars from not looking when they cross the street!"

"The Manila Exploration Tour racks at least fourteen stolen kidneys!"

Sora's cheeks grew purple. "My God! That's... hideous! What kind of school lets you practice such a grueling, dangerous activity?"

They both looked at her.

"Wow, you really bought it, Oneechan?!" Fumika blinked.

Fuuka giggled. "So far, only Negi-sensei had ever believed the Sahara part!"

Sora blushed deeply and shook her head to herself. "You girls are... are... Forget it," she ended up sighing. "So, where are we going now?"

"That's the swimming pool," Fumika pointed ahead. "Looks like there's still someone in there."

"Oh! Maybe it's Akira-chan!" Fuuka cooed.

"Sure thing! Let's go talk with her!" Fumika eagerly said, pulling Sora away with herself again.

"GIRLS! I CAN WALK BY MYSELF, REALLY!"

"The way your legs look seems to say otherwise!"

"Honestly, what's so wrong with my legs?!"

* * *

><p>Sora marveled at the size of the gigantic swimming pool she was led towards, looking in all directions as the Narutakis skipped ahead lightly.<p>

"Akira-chan...! Ako-chan...!" Fumika waved. "Hey, you still playing here? You know the club activities are over...!"

Ako lifted her gaze up from the book she was reading. "Um? Oh, hey there, Fuuka-chan, Fumika-chan. Actually, we're studying here. It's just Akira chose this place because it's quiet and relaxing..."

Fuuka's slanty eyes shifted around, as if pointing at the fact Ako was the only one not in a swimsuit and covered by glistening water droplets.

"... What?" Akira asked with some slight nervousness. "A short swim is always good for relaxation and preparation before tackling a study session. Right, Ami-san?"

The nearby girl with short dark hair laughed uncomfortably. "Well, I only agreed to it because Nyamo-sensei approved it!"

The young teacher heading the study session jerked in place. "M-Mizuno-kun, don't say it as if it's my fault!"

"Is there any fault to be placed on anyone, to begin with?" a tall, pale, shapely older girl with long and wavy greenish hair asked very calmly. "It's not like we were doing anything bad..."

Fuuka chuckled cagily. "Still, it's not something the other teachers would approve..."

Nyamo clenched a grin while rubbing a hand JUST A WEE BIT TOO HARD on Fuuka's hair, her voice straining her now-feigned sweetness. "Good thing they won't know, don't you agree, Narutaki-san...?"

"O-Of course..." Fuuka stammered.

"Ahem," Fumika attempted a save for her sister, "Do... Do you happen to know Sora-san here? She's Chisame-san's sister..."

"Who's Chisame?" the green-haired girl asked. "One of your classmates?"

"Yeah, she's the one who..." Fuuka began, then stopped upon finding she had nothing flattering to say about her. "Um, she's the one with... glasses, and she has... umm... a laptop, I think, and... and..."

Then she turned around to Sora and smiled brightly, "By the way, Sora-Oneechan, this is the core Mahora Swimming Club with coach Nyamo-sensei, plus Akira's best friend Ako-chan, Manager for the Soccer Club!"

"Pleased to meet you, Ako-san," Sora bowed to Akira.

"Actually, I'm Akira."

"Oh, sorry!" Sora bowed to the other tall girl instead. "Excuse me then, Ako-san!"

"She's the Club President, Ichinose Tamao-sempai," Ako sighed. "I'm Ako."

Sora stood in befuddled shame. "... Sorry again!"

"Not your fault, this fic has too many characters," Fuuka glossed over it before pointing at another slender girl with long orange hair and green eyes. "And this is Fenette-sempai, a student in exchange from London's prestigious Ashford Academy!"

"I'm very glad to be with you all here at Area Eleven!" Shirley Fenette cheerfully said before correcting herself, "I mean, Japan!"

A brief awkward silence reigned over the surroundings until Fuuka just moved on. "And finally, that's Mizuno Ami-san, a genius student! She can help even seniors with their graduation tests!"

Ami waved a hand softly. "Come on, I just nudge them a bit in the right direction..."

"Nyamo-sensei," Sora asked the teacher, "How is Chisame doing at swimming classes?"

"Huh? Well, she's reasonably competent," the woman replied. "She could put a bit more effort into it, but she usually gets good performances at the pool."

"Thank God," the college student sighed. "When she was little, she was a dead weight in the water. It took Dad months to teach her how to swim, and it got so bad she even cried whenever she was in contact with the water. Then again, I was much worse. I still barely can swim beyond the doggie paddle..."

Fuuka smirked and got herself ready to discreetly kick her into the pool, but Fumika kicked **her** in the shin before she could do it.

* * *

><p>"Ehhh?" Ako said, wide-eyed, as she enjoyed a bowl of ramen at the Chao Bao Zi along with Akira, Fumika, Fuuka and Sora, the other girls already having departed their own ways. "Chisame's birthday? No joke?"<p>

Sora sighed, absently poking her chopsticks into her bowl's contents. "Yes. I brought her a gift, " she patted her purse with her other hand, "But I'm not even sure she'll like it. Truth be told, I've been a horrible sister. I couldn't blame Chisame if she never wanted to see me again."

"Don't ever say that," the young, petite and pale waitress with her black hair in cute buns served them their drinks. "Nothing, ever, is as important as family. You never should quit on them-yo."

"That's funny coming from you, Chao!" Fuuka grinned with playful insolence. "We've never seen your family! Not even at the parents' meetings!"

Miss Lingshen laughed it off. "Believe me, they would come if they could, but they are... far too busy elsewhere. It's okay. The Dean understands."

"Chao, could you help us with a last minute party for Chisame-chan?" Fumika asked.

"Are you sure that's what she'd like?" Chao asked back. "You know how much she values her privacy and tranquility."

Fuuka pouted. "It's still mean, not telling anyone..."

"Sora-san, I've heard you belong to a Motor Club, don't you?" Chao sat at the other side of the table, leaving the other tables to be attended by Satsuki. She could use some update on the Nekomi side of things. "I'm an aficionado of motors myself-yo!"

"Well, it's not a very big club," Sora laughed bashfully. "It's just the five of us now."

"Five?" Chao asked, with her curiosity piqued.

"Yes. Me, Tamiya-sempai, Ootaki-sempai, Morisato-sempai and Fujimi-sempai," the young woman answered. "Fujimi-sempai is the club's president, but she's almost always out in serious competitions. We still aren't up to that level. In her absence, Tamiya-sempai acts as our leader. He looks like a very scary man at first, but he's actually... uhhh..." her voice trailed off before unconvincingly ending, "... Nice."

"I see," Chao nodded with some concern. Fujimi Chihiro, but no Belldandy. At that point of the timeline, it was wrong. Very wrong.

Once the meal was finished, Akira stood up and thanked Sora with a formal bowing. "Thanks a lot for your company. We understand Chisame's desire for privacy, but would we be a bother if the two of us dropped down tonight to congratulate her?"

"I don't think she'd mind..." Sora bowed back. "Thanks. I'm relieved to see Chisame has such good friends."

Once she and Ako were gone, Fuuka patted her stomach. "Ahhhh, that was some good food! Now, it's time for the next stop!"

"Are you sure we can't go see Chisame yet?" Sora asked again.

"Nope! Knowing Asuna, Negi-sensei must STILL be stuck with her!" the mischievous twin giggled. "C'mon, I promise this will be the last stop of the afternoon! We'll go visit another true Mahora landmark, the Tatsumiya shrine!"

"It's always good to ask the gods for your loved ones' wellbeing in their birthdays!" Fumika added.

Sora thought it over. "I suppose it's a nice thing to do, yes..."

"Then let's go! We know a good shortcut!" Fuuka almost dragged her away once more.

Chao waved them goodbye, dropping her bright wide smile down as soon as they were gone.

She walked to a corner behind the counter and secretly pulled her cellphone out. "Natsuki-chan? It's me. I have good reasons to think something may be about to happen near the shrine. Drop what you're doing and go that way, ne? Yes, I'll give you some coordinates. It should be happening around that point, although I hope I'm getting it wrong..."

* * *

><p>It already was very late, late, when Asuna finally managed to squeeze a 60 in and pass one of Negi's tests. Chisame had the impression Negi had only gone easy on her, however.<p>

All the other Baka Rangers, even Makie, had managed to leave long ago. Asuna visibly felt so miserable and frustrated she didn't even object when Negi offered to escort her to her dorm. She only muttered as she dragged her feet following her classmate and teacher around; Chisame had never thought she'd see the day when Asuna actually walked slower and grumpier than her. For some reason, it did feel kinda good.

Negi seemed to want to strike a conversation with Asuna, but also looked wary as to how to start it, and Chisame naturally wanted no part on it. The three of them walked along in an uneasy silence, with Chamo being the only one going at a steady, playfully skipping pace. However, before long, they crossed paths with Akira and Ako.

"Oh, hello, girls!" the boy greeted.

"Good afternoon, Sensei!" Ako greeted back, with Akira bowing her head in concordance. "For you too, Asuna-chan, Chisame-chan."

"Hey," Asuna lazily lifted a hand up.

"Yeah," Chisame said, sounding even more apathetic.

"Happy birthday, Chisame," Akira softly said, with another bowing, this one directly devoted only to the hacker. Those three words were enough to make Chisame's face go pale, and for her to snap at her teacher.

"Sensei! You promised!"

"Today is your birthday, for real?" Asuna curiously asked, her attention revived.

"O-Of course not!" Chisame barked.

"It's okay, please take your hands off Sensei's neck..." Ako asked. "It was your sister who told us..."

Now that made Chisame to drop both her hands and her jaw down. "M-My sister?! Is Sora here?!"

"We just ate with her," Akira replied. "We left her with the Narutakis at Chao's place."

Chisame groaned, allowing her shoulders to droop down. "Great, just my luck. The twins. I'll be amazed if the whole school doesn't know it yet."

"What's so bad about everyone knowing about your birthday?" Asuna rolled her eyes. "Man, you're weird."

"Nothing of your business," Chisame hissed as she set up course for the Chao Bao Zi. "I'm going to see Sora before she manages to embarrass me in front of everyone."

Negi gulped, then followed her closely, managing to wave goodbye to the sport girls before dashing after his roommate. After a brief moment of hesitation, Asuna went after them as well. "Hey, wait for me! I want to meet that sister of yours!"

After they were gone, Ako turned to Akira with a soft giggle. "Chisame is very different from her sister, isn't she?"

"Yes. Her sister is actually likable," Akira said dryly.

"Come on, Akira-chan, that's plain mean..."

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, at the closed doors of the Tatsumiya shrine, Fuuka knocked again, this time even harder.<p>

"MANA-CHAAAAN!" she called out. "SHIHO-CHAAAAN! GRANDPA-SAMAAAA! It's us!"

"Forget it, Oneechan..." Fumika pitifully pleaded. "They aren't here, that much is obvious..."

"Bah!" Fuuka turned around crossing her arms. "Do you mean coming all the way up here was nothing but a waste of time? Ohhhh, that makes me mad! I'm going to give Mana a good piece of my mind tomorrow!"

Sora looked at her wristwatch. "Ummm, girls, it's been a really fun afternoon, but it's getting late, and I really want to meet Chisame again..."

"I suppose it is getting dark, yeah," Fuuka sighed in resignation before going back down the temple's front steps. "Let's get going! Negi-sensei is bound to be back at home by now! Ooh, look Fumika! They still haven't closed off the spot where we were fu–"

"Oneechan!" Fumika cried, blushing as she cast sideways looks at Sora.

The college student sighed with relief as she followed the two small girls into the narrow path through the forest and leading back into the campus. It felt like those girlies had actually drained her (scarce to begin with) energy.

Fumika must have been reading her expression with notable accuracy, because she casually whispered to her, "Don't feel bad. It's always tough to keep up with Oneechan."

Sora gave her an awkward smile. "Sorry if I haven't been too enthusiastic. I've never been too much of a 'fun' person."

"Nah, never mind," Fumika consoled her. "You're fun in your own way. Much like Chisame-chan."

Sora patted her head fondly. "Thanks. That's something I don't hear often."

Then they heard another rather unusual thing.

Fuuka had just screamed in panic way ahead of them.

"Oneechan!" Fumika immediately raced ahead, Sora clumsily stumbling behind her to try and stop her just in case. But the small student was too fast for her, at least until she stopped, frozen on her tracks, looking up in absolute terror. Sora's gaze followed hers, and then she gasped aloud in shock as well.

At the middle of the lonely road, a huge black shadow swirled and twisted around a tiny obscured figure surrounded by several dozens of thick, beefy vines and roots, all of them snaking around and lashing out, several of them holding a now unconscious Fuuka up like a ragdoll. It held her spread-eagled, limbs twined by the appendages…

The diminutive inhuman thing focused its red, sharp and hungry eyes into Fumika and Sora, the latter instinctively pulling the paralyzed girl towards herself, trying to shield her with her arms.

Then a green whip shot itself towards them.

* * *

><p>"What's so hideous about that sister of yours anyway?" Asuna asked while walking behind Negi and Chisame, arms crossed behind her neck, her school briefcase hanging from a hand.<p>

Hasegawa growled while leading the way through the narrow forest path. Yotsuba and Chao, of course, had told them the way Sora and the twins took after leaving. She only hoped they could catch up to them before too much damage could be done to her reputation. "You wouldn't understand."

"Why? Because I don't have a family?" Asuna narrowed her eyes.

Chisame flinched a bit, remembering Kagurazaka's words during that day at the fair. "I don't mean to offend, but... yeah, that's why. Sora's one of those people who mean well, but are so bland and useless they always make things worse than they were. Back when we were children, everyone used to think she should have been the younger sister instead of me. Growing up, she was of absolutely no help for me, Kobato and Kodaka, ever."

"That's ridiculous!" Asuna snapped. "I'd have killed for a family of any sorts, even a 'bland' one. I thought she was an abusive witch or something, the way you reacted."

"She always embarrasses me. Always," Chisame shuddered. "She tells people all our secrets without even batting an eye. What kind of underwear do I prefer, the stupid things I did when I was a toddler, the whole nine yards."

Asuna took a mental note of questioning that girl in depth later before casually saying, "Meh. You always get all dramatic about of everything. Sometimes you're as bad as Itoshiki-sensei!"

_Somewhere, Itoshiki sneezed. Tears welled up in his eyes. "I'm in despair! The fact this is my only appearance in this chapter leaves me in despair!"_

"Me?" the other teenager asked. "Excuse me, but who's the one always getting into over the top fights with the Class Rep?"

"That's always Iinchou's fault!" Asuna reacted.

Then she briefly stopped and looked back, as if trying to spot something between the trees.

"Kagurazaka-san?" Negi asked her. "What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing. Nothing," Asuna started walking again. "For a second, I had a hunch we were being watched, but it's most likely just my imagination."

Again, universal law was broken at the distinct lack of ominous wind blowing suddenly at the announcement.

"Ah, okay," Negi said. "Chisame-san, I understand relatives can be somewhat trying at times, but it sounds like your sister truly loves you. You two should try to get closer..."

"If she truly loved us, she wouldn't have left and come to visit only once a year," Chisame replied. "I'll bet it's just her hypocritical sense of self-worth kicking in again. Honestly, she's so spineless; she can't even admit she doesn't actually give a crap about us. That's why she won't think twice about embarrassing me. But no, as she does it, she'll have to rant and whine on how pitiful a sister she is, and how she should do more... but guess what? She never does! I bet she has just dumped one of her sob stories on being unable to do it on the Narutakis!"

"Maybe she's just unable to do it," Asuna scowled.

"And why would that be?" the other girl retorted.

"Have you ever been an older sister? Do you know how taxing can it be?" Asuna spoke defiantly. "Hell, even though Konoka's so self sufficient, acting as her de facto older sister is still tough. You must be strong but not distant, supporting but not spoiling, and it's a hella hard balance to get right! I can't blame anyone who can't keep that up, and you certainly are old enough to not need a babysitter anymore!"

Chisame paused, giving the slightly intimidated Negi a brief look. "I... know what's an older sister's job like, actually. Wanna talk about babysitters?" she told Asuna. "I'm Hakase's, and that was even before Sensei arrived. So don't even try to tell me I have no idea how does it feel, because I have to do it even for people who aren't my fam—"

She stopped abruptly, noticing the sudden pale shade of Negi's face, and bit her tongue. "Sorry. I went overboard there," she admitted. "Sensei, for what it's worth, you and Hakase..." she struggled to get the words out, "... are practically my family here."

Negi slowly smiled back. "Thank you. The feeling's mutual."

Asuna looked back and forth between them and sighed. "Sorry. I guess I talked too much, too. You're right, it can't be easy to take care of the Prof."

"You have no idea," Chisame sighed. "She leaves her underwear everywhere, has no sense of privacy, used to walk around in nothing but her panties until Sensei came on..." No one noticed Chamo's nose had just exploded into a shower of blood. "She never cleans up, and her experiments... God, don't get me started on her experiments..."

"You're doing it," Asuna observed.

"Doing what?" Chisame asked.

"Acting like an older sister. You're spilling all the beans on Hakase, much like you accuse your sister of doing to you," Kagurazaka said, not missing a beat.

Chisame's face paled in horrified realization. "I-It's different! Everyone already knows Hakase is like that!"

"Maybe you sister's assuming we know that much about you, too, " Asuna pointed out.

Chisame fell silent. Hell briefly experienced a snow storm.

Asuna smiled. "Truth be told, however, I've already learned a whole lot about you without even actually needing her."

Chisame gave her a wary look. "Are you intending to flatter or to insult?"

"Both," Asuna laughed. Negi couldn't help but stifle a chuckle of his own. Chisame felt like she should be angry at them, but for some reason she couldn't quite muster that emotion. The snowstorm turned into a hailstorm.

Then, however, Negi tensed all of a sudden, grabbing his staff tightly as some steps were heard coming from between the bushes. Asuna looked into that direction as well. "Oh, it's just you, Fuuka, Fumika. You two weren't doing inappropriate again, were you? Is that your sister, Chisame?" she pointed at the short young adult with them, before noticing something was very, very wrong about them.

"Sora!" Chisame gasped, nervously reaching over for the Pactio card in her breast pocket out of instinct. Some time later, she'd curl up into a fetal position up realizing the implications of having such an instinct in the first place.

Sora and the twins were covered all over by green spots darkening their skin, giving them a sickly, deranged appearance matching their absent, yet hungry and primal eyes. Their clothes were in disarray, and their shoulders hung down as they walked in a stiff, jerky fashion, stalking towards Negi's small group.

"Chisame..." Sora finally spoke with a throaty, inhuman intonation, licking her dry lips. "Happy Birthday... Come and give your Oneechan a big hug..."

She leaped ahead.

* * *

><p>Negi sprang aside to save the momentarily stunned Chisame, to push her out of her deranged sister's path, but before he could cover the short distance from her, he saw Asuna jumping and pulling his roommate out of harm's way instead.<p>

Sora growled, stopping abruptly and jerking her head aside to look at the two younger girls, now with bloodshot eyes.

"No wonder you didn't want to see her!" Asuna exclaimed. "She's a total wacko!"

"She... She isn't normally like that!" Chisame claimed, then pulled Asuna further back with herself as the twins lunged for her.

The Narutakis grumbled at their failure, then assumed identical ninja-like fighting stands.

"Why are they standing on one leg and waving their arms around?" Negi asked, confused.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Kagurazaka asked them. "Are you spending too long with Kaede?"

"We'll take Kaede-neechan later..." Fuuka started. She licked her lips, leering. "Slowly… repeatedly… from all directions…"

"She'll be a great asset for the Master!" Fumika finished. "Her endurance… her body…"

"Kagurazaka-san, be careful!" Negi shouted, slowly aiming his staff at the attackers. "They're possessed, and I doubt they'll listen to reason!"

"Possessed?" Asuna asked. "No, c'mon! Is this some kind of prank? Because I'm not finding it funny at all!"

Sora roared as threateningly as a small and (normally) weak young woman with frail vocal cords could, and other than her cracking at mid-roar, it was actually effective. She charged ahead again, making Chisame yelp, only to run into Asuna's left hook.

"Look, I don't care if you're Chisame's sister, but you aren't getting your drunk college hands on me! Possessed, my foot! I bet you've just taken one beer too many and you got the twins drunk too! Do you realize you'll get you sister in a trouble over this?"

"DAMMIT, SIS, THE BRO'S BEING SERIOUS!" Chamo shouted. "Don't provoke them like that, or you'll get yourself killed!"

The forest fell into a sudden sudden silence then. Asuna's pigtails stood up like something out of a surreal SHAFT anime. Chisame groaned and slapped a hand on her face. Negi whimpered a little, his eyes becoming an 'X' shape on his face. Even the infected girls looked in an odd way at the ermine.

"... Whoops!" Chamo gulped, covering his mouth with his paws. "Never mind me! I haven't said anything at all, because I can't speak! Er, squeek! Squeak squeak squeak!"

Asuna tilted her head back to him, her eyes growing to legendary proportions. "So it WAS you after all!"

Chisame slid to his side and slammed a foot down on him. "Dammit, weasel! She wasn't looking at you! She didn't know for sure yet!"

"I'M DEEPLY SORRYYYYY!" he squealed with an agonized tone.

"My God, I've walked into the Forest of Hell!" Asuna backpedaled away from everyone, balling her fists. "Stay away from me, all of you! First one to come closer loses all their teeth!"

Ignoring the defiant posture, Sora, Fuuka and Fumika rushed at her at once. Chisame vainly tried to grab her sister and pull her back, failing and falling on her face. Asuna stood her ground, lifting her fists up to strike, but they were so fast, they almost were on her before she could fully react...

Then she heard the twerp's voice again.

_"RASTEL MASKIL MAGISTER!"_

* * *

><p>Then Asuna noticed all three of her incoming attackers screeching to a halt, looking back at Negi, who shouted a few words in a weird language... Greek? Latin? Asuna guessed... and then shot a huge burst of wind out his staff... or so it looked, it was hard to if any of it say was even actually happening or not...<p>

The compressed air threw Fuuka, Fumika and Sora several feet away, also blowing Asuna's skirt up in the process. She yelped, then quickly pushed it back down. But not fast enough to avoid Chamo from pointing up at her and yelling, "BEAR PANTIEEEES!"

She blushed scarlet, then swung a kick that slammed him against a tree. "Keep your mouth and eyes shut, freak of nature!"

Chisame sighed, half thankful for the brat not resorting to the stripping spell for once, half deciding to just go for broke. As if there was any point on keeping fooling Kagurazaka anymore. "_Adeat_!" she said while whipping her Pactio card out.

Asuna stared, dumbfounded, at the typical Mahou Shoujo transformation unfolding before her eyes. She successfully kept herself from snickering upon seeing Chisame in her post-transformation dress, and asked, "Do you... Do you know you give a full on peep show when you do that?"

Chisame's face reddened. "YES! YES, I DO!"

Negi was just looking aside uncomfortably. The fact he managed to keep an eye on the grunting, badly recovering twins and college student while doing so helped.

"So, what's the deal here?" Asuna demanded. "I know, you're mutants, aren't you? That Magneto guy in the news sent you to infiltrate the Academy, and then—"

"Try again," Chisame grunted.

"Invading aliens," Asuna said. "Crap, that weird Suzumiya chick was actually right!"

"Again," Chisame asked.

"Robots? That's it; Hakase built you to take over the world, and that's why you live with her, and—"

"Like Hell!"

"Superheroes! Your superheroes who still don't have that Edna Mode's number!"

"_DOES THIS LOOK LIKE SPANDEX!-?-!-?_"

"... We are living in a computer simulation, and next you'll tell me I must pick the red pill or the blue one? Wait, It's all a dream! I need to check my bells–!"

"You watch far too many movies!"

"Oh, crap! You're actually my daughter from the future, aren't you? _THAT'S_ why we look so similar–!"

"Okay, now you're just being stupid!" Hasegawa snapped.

The twins groaned and fell into a sighting stance again, while Sora still rubbed her aching head. That was Chisame's cue to leave Asuna behind and stand next to Negi, aiming her scepter at the pink haired girls. "Don't even think about it!"

Asuna curiously peeked over Chisame and Negi's shoulders. "Let me see if I'm getting this right now. This is an exorcism sort of thing? They're possessed by the Devil or something?"

"The Devil? Don't be—" Chisame stopped in mid sentence, then asked Negi with some concern, "It's not the Devil, is it?"

"Not unless we're _really _unlucky," he said, breathing in and out, keeping his staff zeroed on their adversaries. "Chisame-san, call in Misora-san. I don't know how to purge evil influences out yet, but she does."

"Wait, Misora's in on this too?" Asuna agitatedly asked. "So it's an exorcism after all! Wait, is there anyone else in on this? Iinchou? She's crazy enough for it to—"

"It's only Chiu-chi, Sato-chi, Miso-chi and Misa-chi," Chamo said, pulling himself back to the scene.

"What? Misa too? How does she fit into that? Everyone else's weird enough, but Misa?" the redhead asked. She paused. "Oh, wait, never mind."

"Remind me to hurt you later," Chisame grumbled, placing her Card on her forehead and trying a telepathic call. But she felt nothing. "Sensei, I don't think it's working..."

Chamo sniffled the air. "I can feel a strong magical presence near us," he warned. "Maybe it has put a barrier around the area. If that's the case, we won't be able to communicate with telepathy."

"Great!" Chisame shook her head. "What do you think, Sensei? Do we knock them out and get the hell out of here?"

"Chisame-san! Sora-san is your sister!" Negi gasped.

"Which means I have violent fantasies against her I've wanted to enact since I learned I wasn't supposed to hit people as a kid…I mean, we take them with us!" Hasegawa pointed out. Then they heard a yelp, and saw a long, thick vine sprouting up from the ground, wrapping itself around Asuna's right ankle and lifting her up high into the air.

"Yeah, they really ARE bear panties!" Chamo observed as her skirt flipped down.

"Stop gawking at my damn panties and get me down!" Asuna roared, wildly kicking around. "Brat! Be useful for once!"

Then another, smaller vine sneaked up wrapping itself around her face, and it exploded into a rain of green spores showering her all over. Asuna coughed while Negi and Chisame gasped below, their attention distracted long enough to allow the Narutakis and Sora to retreat back to relative safety.

Asuna angrily spat some bitter spores out of her mouth and madly kicked at the vine holding her. "Let me go, you stupid thing! Now! NOW!" she growled, finally kicking hard enough to snap it by half. "No—OWWWW!" she fell hard on her butt. "Dammit, why me?-!"

"Sora!" Chisame tried to run after her sister. "Sora, don't—" she was abruptly grabbed by Negi and pulled back, right before three more vines jumped up at the spot where she had been moments before. More and more vines followed suit, soon surrounding them and Asuna from all sides. "Damn it..." Chisame gulped, grabbing her scepter tighter. "At a forest, not much I can do... nothing electronic around to manipulate... Sensei?"

He nodded firmly. "Leave it to me, Chisame-san."

* * *

><p>Negi grunted as he kept on blasting his way ahead, both girls and Chamo running close after him, Chisame also firing from her scepter at any random approaching vines or roots, but not making that much of a dent on the whole. The whole forest seemed to have turned against them, plants sprouting out of almost everywhere to lash at them as far as they could reach over to.<p>

"We've offended the forest spirits, haven't we?" Asuna cried. "Crap, next it's going to be car-sized giant wolves, isn't it?!"

Under other circumstances, Negi would have grabbed Chisame and flown away with her and Chamo, but they couldn't leave Asuna behind, and his staff couldn't support the weight of all of them put together. That disastrous experiment at trying to fly with both Chisame and Hakase a few weeks back had made him sure of that. And even if he dared, he wasn't about to risk his students on a flight of doubtful maneuverability through a forest with things trying to kill them on the way.

Oddly enough, in any case, the ermine observed as he ran, Asuna seemed to be doing much better at dispatching their vegetable enemies than either one of them. Her wild punches and kicks ripped the pieces of forest life apart as soon as they connected, and unlike those hit by Chisame and Negi, they didn't regenerate afterwards.

Even in the panic of flight, his eyes sparkled greedily. "Bro!" he called out. "These things seem to be very vulnerable to Asuna-neechan for some reason! What if you make a Pactio with her? Then I'm sure we'd clear this out in a blink!"

"What are you talking about?-!" Asuna yelled while slapping a branch swinging its thorns at her aside. "I understand less and less with each frickin' moment!"

"Chamo, this isn't a time to think about that!" Negi panted, starting to get tired after casting so many spells in such quick succession. "We can't stop for anything!"

Then, abruptly, a large tree plummeted down right before them, blocking their way. Just as soon, several nearby bushes shook around, producing even longer vine tendrils that grabbed them by the wrists and ankles immediately, forcing them to stay in place despite their struggling.

"... Well, maybe we can stop for this," Negi admitted.

"Lemme go, lemme go, lemme go!" Asuna clenched her teeth, pulling her hands so hard she broke the tendrils holding her. "No way I'm dying like a victim of a dirty Z-list movie!" Stubbornly, she took hold of the vines holding Chisame's hands and pulled on them hard. When they didn't bulge, she bit them instead; chomping so hard the tendrils pulled back bleeding thick, blobby green. Asuna spat the disgusting flavor in her mouth. "My God, this is awful!"

Chamo noticed the bite wounds weren't healing, either. "Bro, really, she can help us outta this jam! Just take us somewhere with no plants around and let me draw a circle!"

"We're at the middle of a Bill Gates-damned forest!" Chisame yelled. "Where do you expect to find someplace like that?!"

Then two shots rang out, their bullets shooting a duo of moving roots approaching them, and, for some strange reason, leaving them covered with a thick layer of ice. Negi looked in the direction of the gunshots, hoping to find Mana and Shiho, but instead, he, Chamo and the girls found a svelte young woman in a tight, black leather biker's outfit, her head fully covered by a driving helmet, a strange looking tiny revolver in each hand, standing on a large rock, dominating the area around them.

"I know a place," the stranger said curtly. "Follow me."

"Wha? How? Who in the world are you?" Asuna asked. "Are you behind this? Why should we—?"

"All I care about is she's human and she hasn't shot us yet!" Chisame grabbed Negi by a hand and ran after the newcomer, pulling him free from the tendrils.

"And watta curves!" Chamo drooled, racing after them in turn. "Whoa, MOMMA!"

Asuna sighed, stomped down on another root, and rejoined the escape. "I wonder if Konoka's dinner is getting cold..."

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude: Konoka.<strong>_

"I wonder where Asuna-chan is?" Konoka wondered. "Her dinner is going to get cold."

Setsuna kept glancing at the clock, trying not to eat too quickly. If she finished her food… before Asuna got there… It would be too much like having had dinner with Konoka! It'd be like… _**A DATE!**_ Motoko-sempai had warned her about this! Like how she'd had dinner with her landlord and his wife and they'd ended up breaking their marriage vows…

"Eh? Set-chan, why aren't you eating?" Konoka asked, looking at Setsuna's plate. She looked distressed. "Isn't it… isn't it any good?"

"N-no!" Setsuna exclaimed frantically. "It's delicious! Absolutely delicious! I just… I just don't want to finish all the food before Asuna-san gets here!"

"But… you hardly touched it…" Konoka said, looking depressed now. Itoshiki-approved levels of depression. "There's too much salt, isn't there? That's it…"

"N-no!" Setsuna said, taking a big serving and sticking it in her mouth, chewing exaggeratedly and making loud appreciative noises. "It's great, Oj, I mean, Konoka-san!"

At Konoka's wide, happy smile, Setsuna, her defenses already penetrated by Konoka's armor-piercing effect, took another bite…

* * *

><p>Questions started to fly as the teacher, his students and his ermine ran following the lead of the ice gun-toting biker, the mysterious girl shooting her way through the crazed forest, Negi and Chisame helping with backup fire.<p>

"Who exactly are you?" Negi began, blasting a wild bush apart with a gust of wind magic.

No reply.

"Why are you doing this?" Asuna asked next.

Still nothing, and the gunslinger only kept on firing as if they weren't even there.

"What happened to my sister?!" Chisame demanded then. Now that actually made their rescuer talk again.

"She's been contaminated by the spores of that 'Orphan'," she explained dryly.

"Orphan?" Asuna blinked, then snapped, "Hey, why are you blaming me for that?! I never had even seen that girl before!"

"Kagurazaka-san, 'Orphan' is a term for a monster of unknown source," Negi patiently elaborated. "Since they have no known origins, our community saw fit to label them that way. I don't approve, of course, but—"

"And how do you know all that?" Asuna snorted. "Read about it in your nursery rhyme books?"

"Isn't it obvious, you idiot?" the biker told her. "He's a mage," she added bitterly, with distaste creeping into her voice.

"What? This twerp? No way!" the redhead replied.

Chisame held back her urge to slam the scepter on her head. "Weren't you watching him casting spells at left and right now, Baka? Do you need any more proof?"

"Then you're a mage too?" Asuna was even more incredulous now. "Crap, Konoka WAS right!"

"What? Why, When, How—!" Chisame started, then hissed, "No, I'm NOT a mage!"

"You're using magic," Asuna pointed out as she jumped over a log.

"I'm not a mage!" Hasegawa protested, even louder. "Anyway, what can we do to save her, then?"

The biker shrugged callously. "Beats me. I'm not a mage either".

Asuna still puzzled over it all. "So, if you're using magic, but you're not a mage… Oh my gosh! The clothes! The wand! The nudity! It all makes sense!"

Chisame realized were this might be going ,and tried to head her off. "No, I'm not a Magical Gir–"

"You're a sex ninja!"

Chisame nearly tripped, fell and broke her neck (which would have been a wonderful release). "**HELL NO! DO I LOOK LIKE… like… um… like… DO I LOOK LIKE MIDO-SENSEI?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-! OR ARAI-SENSEI?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-! OR**_** KAEDE!-?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!**_"

Negi blinked. "Huh?"

"Nothing!" Chisame cried. "Focus! About to die, running! Stick with that!" She ignored the sounds Chamo was making. How, exactly, could creepy giggling _leer_?

"Like I said, Misora-san could heal her if we bring Sora-san to her," Negi panted. "But first, we have to find and destroy the source of this event, the 'Orphan' itself."

Finally, they reached the wide rocky shores of a secluded lagoon. Negi saw the rider's point; the barren area was large enough to set a barrier and then a Pactio circle without being interrupted. However, before they actually step in there, more vines sprouted up from below, blocking their way. The first ones lashed ahead, a few of them managing to break through the stranger's helmet, spraying more of the spores into her face as the rest of them were binding and squeezing her arms and wrists, forcing her to drop her handguns. They were, of course, also crisscrossing her chest, emphasizing the pointiness of her breasts and making Chisame and Asuna very conscious of their weight and figure.

_"FLANS SALTATIO PULVEREA!"_ Negi shouted, pulverizing the vines up with his incantation and jumping ahead to catch the now suddenly groggy, falling girl in his arms. "Hey! Are you okay... Kuga-san?" he blinked.

Chisame looked down at her after finishing blasting the remaining vines down. "Hey, yeah. She's Kuga Natsuki, that sempai we saw at the Chao Bao Zi when you were starting your term here..."

The girl jerked her own face aside, coughing violently, green spots quickly spreading across her fair skinned cheeks. "D-Drop me down, you fools... Kaff!... I've been infected... Soon I'll be as crazy as the others...!"

"Are you sure? Because I doubt you'll never top Itoshiki-sensei's class," Asuna said, passing a hand over her own face. "I was sprayed by those things too, and I'm fine..." She paused, concerned. "Because I _am _fine, right?"

"See, that's what I'm talking about!" the ermine said. "I don't know how, Sis, but somehow, you seem to be immune to those things! That's why you have to make a Pactio with the Bro before we're all dead meat!"

"A Pactio?" Asuna was intrigued now, as she and Negi carried a still protesting Kuga-sempai into the relative safety of the rocky area, Chisame walking closely behind them. "Wait, I think I'm getting it. That's what gave you those spiffy magical powers, right, Chisame? And now I can get powers like those, too?"

"Basically, yes," Hasegawa nodded in a jaded way. Kyon would have been proud.

Asuna grinned. "Awesome! Then let's do it!"

"That's it!" Chamo cheered up, but Negi only blushed and Chisame made an awkward face.

Natsuki coughed again, then said, "You really don't know anything, you imbecile. To establish a Pactio, you need to kiss a mage."

Asuna's grin froze on her face, just as her features became stark white. "A... kiss...?!"

Chamo waved a paw. "What's a tiny kiss or two between good, close friends, anyway...?"

Asuna's right foot met his stomach again. "I DON'T REMEMBER EVER BEING GOOD CLOSE FRIENDS WITH ANY OF YOU!-! OH MY GOSH, YOU _ARE _SOME KIND OF SEX NINJA! THIS IS JUST THE START!"

"Huh?" Negi asked, confused

Chisame actually looked distressed then. "Then... Then you won't do it?" she asked with a suddenly strangled tone.

Asuna crossed her arms, closed her eyes and humphed, turning around. "Why should I? Do you think I'm some sort of perverted cradle-robber? I'm not Iinchou or that Matoi girl!"

"It's not about that!" Chisame claimed, giving a step toward her. "I'm not asking you to marry him and settle down with three kids! But this is a life or death matter, and we can't do it alone! Much less now, with Kuga-sempai down!"

Natsuki coughed from the rock she had laid onto, her hands clawing around madly. "I can feel it already! Whatever you're going to do, do it soon! In a few minutes I'll be jumping for your throats!"

"Will you be doing it with new tentacles you're going to be growing?" Chamo asked eagerly.

Asuna doubted, grimacing deeply. "You can't ask such a thing from me, all of a sudden! It's all completely absurd! One minute we're walking down the forest, the next it's 'Hey, kiss a child and become a Magical Girl or you die'? Why do I have to stand under that pressure? It's unfair!"

"_Screw your unfairness!_" Chisame yelled at her, at her wits' ends, despite Negi's gestures for her to calm down. "My sister's out there possessed by that thing! I'm not going to lose her just because you don't care enough about your own life! If you need to do a Pactio, you'll do it even if I have to rub your mouth against his!"

Asuna stood defiantly against her. "I'd like seeing you try! And besides, what's with the loving sister act after you badmouthed her so much?"

"I... I..." her classmate suffered of a loss for words for a few seconds before stammering, "N-No one would be callous enough to family to let that happen to them, no matter what! You said you'd do anything for a family! You must imagine how does it feel, to risk of losing a relative! I'm not on the best of terms with her, but still—! Still—!"

"Please, Kagurazaka-san..." Negi pleaded. "Think of the twins and Kuga-san, too..."

Asuna's brow quivered a few times. "Aren't you a bit too eager about it...?"

"N-N-Not at all!" he gasped.

She stared down at him. "Oh, so I'm that disgusting to kiss? What, I don't have enough zits for your tastes?"

"LEAVE MY SKIN CONDITIONS OUT OF THIS!" Chisame roared.

"God, I want to kill you even more now...!" Natsuki was banging her fists down on the rock.

Negi fought to find the right words. "It isn't that! You're a very appealing person, Kagurazaka-san! But I'd never dare kissing a student unless it's absolutely necessary! But right now, it is! We need any edge we can find to get out of here!"

"Buttering me up won't get you anywhere!" Asuna threatened. "I won't do it! You hear me? I won't! Your milk-smelling flappy white mouth sickens me! If there's anything I hate, that's whimpering smartass brats like you!"

Then she felt someone tugging on her right sleeve, and looked aside to see Chisame looking at her, biting her lower lip. "Please, Asuna... I'll do anything you want... But help me save my sister..."

Asuna paused, momentarily moved by her classmate's emotion, moving her mouth to start another objection but not finding the heart to actually do it as she noticed Chisame's glare grew more humbled and begging by the second. Then, finally, as if to break and ruin the dramatic mood, the ermine spoke again.

"Sis, are you that reluctant 'cause you've never kissed anyone before?"

Asuna blushed, then reacted violently, "Wh-What in the freaking world are you saying, you stinky vermin?! Of course this wouldn't be my first kiss! I've kissed lots of people before!" she rather badly lied. "Lots and lots of handsome older men who actually smell and act as such! Pffft! As if a kiss with a shrimp like this would even faze me!"

"In other words, you're a slu—" Natsuki tensely began, the manic blood thirst boiling inside of her already.

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" Asuna protested, then fumbled, "Fine, fine, I get it! We're all but dead if I don't do it, right? What the hell. Let's get it over with then!" she sighed.

"Hooray!" Chamo cheered, quickly pulling his chalk out of his fur and drawing a circle on the rocky ground around Asuna and Negi in a blink. Baka Red scowled deeply as she followed the ermine's motions, standing right before her teacher, who was as flushed and nervous as her. Watching from the sidelines, Chisame breathed in and out, wondering what was that strange feeling in her chest now. She wanted for them to kiss, and yet, she couldn't help feeling badly about it. Why did she always have to watch how the brat kissed with other girls? Misora, Hakase, Misa, and now Asuna.

_I'm not jealous, I can't be possibly jealous. Not over him…_she repeated in her mind to calm down her nerves.

Asuna cringed in disgust, then lowered her head, directing her pink lips towards Negi's forehead. "O-Okay, here I go..."

"IT HAS TO BE ON THE MOUTH!" Chamo yelled at her.

"What?! On THE MOUTH!? NEVER!" Asuna roared. "No way! I prefer dying! No! I refuse! You'll never see me doing that!"

Natsuki jumped back on her feet, now drooling wildly. "I'll kill you all for the Master! Glory to the will of The Green!"

Now that was enough to finally convince Kagurazaka. After a very brief yelp, she grabbed Negi by his suit's lapels, and then roughly pulled him to herself, harshly stamping her lips over his.

* * *

><p>Even through the overwhelming force of Asuna brushing her mouth against his and the panic about the quickly approaching Kuga-san, Negi vaguely noticed it wasn't actually working this time.<p>

He wasn't feeling the same jolt of magical energy she had felt with Chisame, Misora, Satomi and Misa yet, and it had been nearly immediate all those other times. Chamo seemed to think so as well, his eyebrows quivering in nervous doubt even as Natsuki lurched slowly for them, struggling against her own urges to strike.

Chisame just aimed the scepter at her, gesturing for her to stay back. "Get a hold of yourself, Sempai! Weasel, how long is this going to take? The cards appeared just as they kissed all other times!"

"I honestly don't know!" Chamo complained. "Asuna-neechan, you sure you aren't faking the kiss?!"

Asuna fumed mad even as he stubbornly kept on kissing, waiting for the promised payoff. This was her first kiss, and it was going to be wasted on that twerp, all for nothing? She refused to believe it! If Chisame had done it, she could do it, too!

"Maybe four is the top limit number of Ministrae he can have?" Hasegawa theorized. "He's only a kid, after all..."

"No, no, no!" Chamo insisted. "Dammit, we can't be cheated out of this...!"

_Ah,_ Negi remembered, _maybe what was lacking was that thing with the tongue Misa had done... _Asuna's eyes widened as she felt something worming inside of her mouth, teasing her tongue up and down, but before she could push him back in indignation, she felt as if her body was being shaken, and then everything seemed to explode in light around her.

"It's succeeding!" Chamo cheered, and even Chisame breathed easier now. Kuga stepped back, shielding her eyes from the light glowing all around the circle at random, almost sputtering intervals. "PACTIOOOOO!" the ermine cried.

The card materialized itself and floated down to his eager paws then, just as Asuna pulled her mouth way, rubbing the, indeed somewhat milky, flavor out of it. "Wh-Who taught you how to do THAT?!"

"Misa-san," he candidly answered.

"Figures!" Asuna huffed. Right then, however, she was distracted by Natsuki pulling her guns back out and huffing, pointing them at her, breathing tumultuously.

"This host's will... was strong, but ultimately doomed..." she said."Now The Green will claim you as well. The Green cannot be denied or stopped. Your world is about to end. Only we can save it."

Chisame gulped and got ready to fire her scepter at Kuga's head before she could shoot at them instead. She hadn't ever shot an actual human being before, but it was do or die, right? Better her than them, in any case. She was sure the courts would understand... Except for the whole magic part, maybe...

But before she even knew it, in a single swift motion, Negi had ducked under Natsuki's aim, no doubt aided by his small size, and took advantage of his staff's length (insert dirty joke here) to hit her squarely in the stomach, blowing the air out of her and knocking her unconscious.

Asuna blinked. Okay, now that had been pretty badass...

An impression quickly ruined when he made his best Kaga Ai impression and began to bow to the knocked out girl, time and time again, frantically apologizing, "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to—! Well, I meant to, but I didn't want to—! It's just...! My students' safety—!"

"Sensei, it's okay," Chisame sighed, rubbing his left shoulder. "Thank you. I'm sure not even Kuga-sempai will hold this against you."

"Here, Sis! Your card!" Chamo offered the proof of the Pactio to Asuna, who received it with a curious blink. Chisame and Negi looked at it as well, noticing it showed Asuna in her school uniform, with a band aid on a cheek, smiling and half turned around, holding a huge sword up.

_Cagurazaca Asuna_

_Bellatrix Sauciata_

"Huh, so this really works..." Kagurazaka marveled at the existence itself of the card. "And I get a cool sword like this, too? With no stupid dress like Chisame's?" she guessed.

"Yeah, basically, once you activate the Card," Chamo nodded.

"EXCUSE ME FOR HAVING A RIDICULOUS DRESS! IT WASN'T AS IF I PICKED IT PERSONALLY!" Chisame growled.

"Fine, fine. Whatever," she looked up and down at the Card. "And how do I activate it?"

Negi already had grabbed a protesting Chamo and turned around with him, looking away. "Just... just hold it and say _Adeat_"

She doubted, but Chisame made an urging gesture at her, and she decided, since she had gone that far, there was no point on not following on it.

Asuna held the card higher and shouted, "By the Power of Greyskull!"

Chisame glared knives at her.

A dumb giggle. "Sorry. Always wanted to do that." She repeated the procedure, now much more seriously. _"Adeat!"_

* * *

><p>And then, after the obligatory flash of light and the disappearance and reappearance of her clothes (Chisame wondered why it had happened that time as well, since it was exactly the same school uniform Kagurazaka had worn before), Asuna found herself feeling much stronger than ever before... and with a giant folded paper fan between her hands.<p>

After a few moments of stupefied silence, Asuna glared at Chamo. "Eh, weasel..."

"Ah?" the animal sweated a single huge drop.

"What the heck does this mean?!" the redhead yelled. "I was promised a sword! Instead, I get this stupid looking _harisen_? What am I supposed to do, engage in a comedy routine with the monster when we find it?!"

"I-I have no idea what went wrong!" Chamo said. "Maybe you didn't kiss the right way! Why don't you do it again?"

"No way!" Asuna huffed, piping mad. "Forget it! I'll take my chances with this. It's still kinda a weapon, isn't it?"

"Okay," Negi sighed. "Then let's make a beeline for the campus before nightfall, only fighting the 'Orphan' if we find it along the way. It's getting dark, but I'd still give us at least half an hour before the sun fully sets. Any of you have an idea if we can reach the campus on foot before that?"

Both girls shook their heads.

"We got too deep into the forest while fleeing those things," Asuna groaned. "I admit I'm lost as hell."

"I've never been around here before. I doubt anyone but Kaede, the twins and Mana knows the exact way from here to Mahora," Chisame completed.

"Tsk!" Chamo grinned, waving a furry finger. "Leave it to me! My keen animal senses will take care of that!"

He stood up on his hindquarters, smelt on the breeze carefully, then pointed southwards. "THE CLOSEST PAIR OF PANTIES IS THAT WAY!"

All three humans fell flat on their faces.

"I... I guess it's the results that count..." Chisame worked back to her feet.

"What will we do with Kuga-san?" Negi doubted. "We can't leave her here! She saved our lives back there!"

"Sensei, I can't carry her all the way, you can't either, never mind Chamo, and Asuna will need both hands free to fight our way through," Chisame told him. "We can't bring her with us yet. I don't like leaving her behind either, but what else can we do?"

"But— But—!" he protested.

She patted his right shoulder. "She'll be okay. No one ever comes this way, and even if they did, she can defend herself when she wakes up. Plus, what if we carry her and she wakes up and attacks us?"

"She's right, you know," Asuna nodded. "Let's go, Negi. There's no time to waste."

"Well…" he said, still not sounding convinced. They all ran back into the woods, which immediately came alive again, reassuming the attack on them from all sides. However, Asuna's fan proved to be much more efficient than it looked. With each swing, she pulverized the obstacles into tiny shreds even faster and more decisively than before, and with the added bonus of extra reach. Combined with Negi's spells and Chisame's blasts, they were having a much easier time now, even without Kuga's help.

"We're really doing it!" Asuna grinned while running after Chamo's sniffing lead. "Yeah, I think I could get used to this!"

But then the ermine stopped right on his tracks, the youngsters all screeching to a halt behind him.

"Oh, no," Negi said.

"Sora," Chisame panted, her mouth curving down again. "Sora, listen to me! Try to fight whatever is controlling you! I'm your sister! Neither of us should harm the other!"

The three girls blocking their way just grinned devilishly.

"The master is here," Fumika crooned.

"You're ours," Fuuka continued.

"The Green is alive. The Green shall claim this world," Sora chanted.

Rising up from behind them, floating up into the sights of Negi and his students, the small 'Orphan' looked down at them with its sharp dead eyes, making absolutely no sound at all. Then its short, stubby arms extended themselves into impossibly long thorny green whips, and they lashed ahead at them.

* * *

><p>As the tendrils lashed down at them, Chamo was, perhaps not surprisingly, the first casualty. The humans barely managed to scramble out of the way in time, but the small animal was left behind long enough to fall prey to a vine tentacle that lifted him high up into the air, squeezing him tightly.<p>

"Chamo!" Negi cried out, already preparing a spell but unsure of where to aim, since the tendril was swinging around wildly, making it hard to aim at a single particular spot.

"Bro, help meee!" the ermine pleaded as he was held into an extremely suggestive arching position. "Ooohhhh, wait... this is actually..." he moaned as he was twisted in a rather unlikely fashion, "... kinda kinky..." He gasped while the vines further tied him into a S&M-reminiscing manner, "Ah, I might get to like this..."

Asuna and Chisame's eyebrows quivered.

"Hasn't that thing ever attempted to molest you at night?" Asuna asked.

"He's still alive, isn't he?" Chisame asked back. "Look out!"

The twins jumped at them with a combined kick attack, but Asuna managed to block it with her fan, batting them aside while trying to hold herself back from actually hurting them. The hostile creature controlling them hovered closer, and Chisame attempted to blast it with her scepter, only for it to elude with relative ease, then catching her in a suddenly lashing tangle of vines that held her firmly in place. "Sensei!" she called out, a vine twisting her right wrist and attempting to make her drop her weapon.

"Hold on, Chisame-san!" Negi rushed to the rescue, only for Sora to take advantage of his distraction and tackle him from behind, a web of tendrils quickly wrapping itself around both of them, spraying spores all over him.

"Negi!" Asuna dashed for him, but she immediately had her way blocked by more plants. She whacked her way through with mad determination, but for each one she struck down, two more seemed to sprout from the ground. Stubbornly, she kept on hitting left and right, doing her best to keep them at bay. Out of the corner of her eyes, she saw Chisame was being bathed by spores as well, coughing and shaking as the green spots began to cover her skin. "Damn it! Guys, I need your help! I can't do this alone!"

Negi coughed as well, gripping his staff tightly, feeling dizzy and nauseous, the vine around his neck almost choking him while pushing his head back, Sora clutching to his back, further weighing him down with a devilish smile.

The back of his neck itched. It nearly burned, sending shivers of fire pumping through his veins. Something buzzed in the back of his head. He relaxed his body for a moment, going numb, almost surrendering down to the crushing weight coming both from his inside and his outsides. And then he heard Chisame's tiny, choked, suffocated voice, "Sen... sei..."

"Don't give up, Chisame!" Asuna stomped and pummeled ahead, whacking a path for herself with renewed vitality. "I'm almost there! I'll save you!"

Negi clenched his teeth, opening his eyes again, pulling his arms up, yanking on the vines with newfound energy, huffing and puffing loudly. "You won't... YOU WON'T HURT MY STUDENTS!"

Sora blinked as the vines actually snapped, and then the boy under her pulled himself out of her grasp, violently, even, making her to fall on her face into the grass as she lost the support of his body. _"JOVIS... TEMPESTAS... FULGURIENS!"_ he roared, swinging his staff ahead and striking at the 'Orphan' with a full on lightning bolt on its rounded face. The creature made an aching, shrill sound, loosening its vines enough to allow Chisame drop down into an expecting Negi's arms below.

She coughed again, then weakly smiled, looking up at his face, reaching with a hand to softly stroke her fingers against his now greenish skin. "Sensei... Not you, too..."

He shakily smiled back. "I'm sorry... I couldn't do more..." His voice was slightly broken, even as it recovered from its short outburst of anger, sounding somewhat spaced out and unstable now.

The 'Orphan' swooped back down for them, baring a few sharp unevenly shaped teeth from the corners of its small mouth, but was stopped in midair when Chisame jerked an arm up and shot it with the scepter. "Asuna... *kaff*... now!"

"Okay!" a glint appeared in Kagurazaka's green eye, as she took impulse, then ran ahead and jumped as high as she could, swinging the harinsen around and hitting the 'Orphan' directly at the middle of its body, barely giving it any time to make a few jerky motions before exploding in a shower of emerald sparks. Asuna then perfectly landed on her feet behind Chisame and Negi, breathing hard. "10 POINTS!" she congratulated herself. "CRITICAL HIT! IT'S SUPER-EFFECTIVE!"

The vines holding Chamo suddenly dissolved into a mass of dark green puddle, roughly dropping him down into a mudhole. "Ahhhhh! And I was so close, too!" he cried.

Asuna stared at him. "Close to WHAT?"

"Ewww…" Chisame 'ewww'ed.

He sighed, shaking his head. "If I have to explain it to you, you wouldn't get it anyway..."

* * *

><p>A few moments of regaining their breath and composing themselves quietly followed, before Chisame remembered she actually still was in a kneeing, panting and sweaty Negi's arms, and that was only when he gently lowered her down to the ground, almost collapsing on top of her due to the physical strain. She blinked, and then only ran a hand through his hair, calmly petting him. "Rest easy. I'm... proud of you, Sensei. I really am..."<p>

Asuna snorted, despite being smiling at them. "Oh, this is rich. And here I thought Iinchou had it bad, but who'd have thought you of all people would be the one to—"

Chisame glared at her. "Look, not that I'm not thankful, but I don't mock you, so I don't want you to—"

"Kidding! Just kidding!" Asuna interrupted her with a laugh. After that, she brushed her fingers over one of Hasegawa's cheeks. "Hey, look, the spots are vanishing. Looks like the deal is off once that thing is dead. Weirdly convenient, but I'm not complaining!"

Chisame carefully examined the dozed Negi's face, seeing he also was going back to normal. "You're right, thank God. Maybe now Sora... SORA!" she gasped, looking around for her sister. "How is she? Where is she?"

She finally found her lying in a mess of slimy green, covered by a puddle of melting and withering vines, weakly coughing while crawling ahead. Her head bobbed up to both sides as her voice still croaked with a few final vestiges of the will of the being controlling her.

"It's coming. It's coming..." she muttered over and over.

"Sora, relax. Breath deeper. We're going to heal you," Chisame promised, carefully setting Negi aside and approaching her. Sora just groaned and slapped away the hand she was offering her.

"What's coming?" Asuna humorlessly asked.

"The end," the voice speaking through Sora's throat threatened. "The worlds will die. The Green suffers. Soon you too," she gurgled before dropping down on her face. "Soon you too," she finished before it died at last, and she fell into blissful unconsciousness.

"... Yeah, right. Crazy thing," Asuna dismissed it.

"Sora!" Chisame tried to pick her up, shaking her up in panic. "Sora, don't die on me like this!"

"She'll be okay..." Negi promised, blinking groggily and getting back to his feet, placing a hand on his roommate's right shoulder. "Asuna-san, how are the twins?"

Asuna was kneeling down next to the Narutakis, who had also fallen asleep after the 'Orphan's' demise. She touched their foreheads and checked their breathing. "I think they aren't in any danger. Hey, do you think they'll remember any of this when they wake up?"

"If they do, they'll simply get their memories erased, won't they?" a voice cynically asked from between the now quiet trees. They all looked there to see Kuga Natsuki, seemingly back to normal, with barely any spots left on her. She spoke with gruff annoyance bordering utter loathing. "That's what mages do. Erasing their traces like cowards."

Asuna stayed perfectly still for a moment before asking Negi, "You erase memories?"

He cringed uncomfortably. "I'm supposed to do that if I'm ever found out, but..."

"You won't erase my memory, you damned brat!" Asuna shielded her head with her hands. "Like I don't have enough gaps in it as it is!"

"You do?" Chisame asked with genuine curiosity.

"None of your biz!" Asuna growled.

"Relax, he won't be erasing anything as long as you don't tell anyone," her classmate told her. "Right, Sensei?"

"Um, right," he turned back to Natsuki and bowed. "My most sincere thanks, Kuga-san. Without you, we'd have been subdued for sure back there..."

Chamo jumped up. "Hey, hey, Biker-sis! Wouldn't you like having a Pactio with my Bro too? I can tell you're a real scrapper! The Bro could use someone with your skills at his side, and surely you could use his help as well!"

She sneered, angrily. "I'll never partner up with a mage. I hate mages more than anything else in the world."

She curtly turned around and began to stomp away.

Negi, his students and his pet all stood frozen in confusion for a moment, before Chamo protested, "B-B-But why?!"

She stopped, abruptly looking back at them. "You really want to know? Fine. Eight years ago... my mother was murdered by a mage."

Negi jerked back in horrified shock, his face going blank white. Chisame gulped aloud, instinctively tightening Sora's body against herself. Asuna only looked stupefied, and Chamo's jaw hit the grass.

"My mother conducted research into unexplained phenomena all over the world, the handiwork of your people," Kuga icily told Negi. "They found her and erased her memories more than once, but she was smarter than you. She would always keep copies and backups of her labors, stashed away with people she could trust... or so she thought. Time after time she would restart, because she truly believed we all had a right to know. She was a brave and selfless woman, who never harmed a soul. Until that day..." she growled, "When a stranger broke into our home..."

She looked away, her right hand trembling as it gripped one of her guns much tighter. "I have my reasons to believe my mother's murderer may be on these grounds. I don't know who it could be, but when I meet that person... I'll avenge her, no matter who it is," she promised, with the intensity of someone who has nothing left to lose.

"D-Don't say such nonsense!" Asuna sputtered. "As if the Dean would ever hide a murderer in here!"

Natsuki briefly rubbed her eyes before looking at her again, in a sharp, nearly hateful, way. "Why? Because he's been so nice to you? Because of the infinite goodness of his heart? Do you think he's taken care of you just because he's that good a person?"

Asuna frowned very deeply. "As if he ever could have any other motive. There's nothing special about me at all. I'm nothing but an orphan with nothing to offer to someone like him!"

Kuga shrugged callously and started to walk away once more. "Maybe you're right."

"Kuh—- KUGA-SAN!" Negi could finally call out.

"Yeah?"

"You're wrong! There must be some mistake! We never would have done such a thing! Mages are here to help mankind, not to hurt anyone!" he protested.

Again, she gave him a low key, mildly threatening glare. "My beef isn't with you. You were little more than a baby when... that happened. But if you ever get in my way, I won't give it a second thought before pushing you aside..."

He still shouted, "Mages aren't enemies of mankind! No matter what you may think, I know you must be in a mistake! Reconsider it! Don't ruin your life following a road of revenge!"

She humphed and took her glare away. "You shouldn't talk, brat. You're as obsessed with your father as I'm with my mother."

He paled anew. "H-How do you—"

Chisamed asked her, "If you hate mages so much, why to help a mage right now?"

"It was nothing but a favor to a common friend," she droned, quickly disappearing between the trees. "But for your own sake, forget this all ever happened. We all will be better off that way."

They all remained in baffled silence for long tense moments after her depart, a silence only broken by Asuna finally shaking a fist and barking, "You loon! Konoka's grandpa would never do such a thing!"

"That…" Chisame considered. "That was probably the most racist thing I've heard. Seriously, that's like hating all… oh, Jews or Americans because one of them hurt you. Seriously, what sort of damaged person would harbor such irrational hatred for a group of people just because of the actions of one of them?"

_Somewhere, Batman, Magneto, thousands of villains with lousy attempts at sympathetic revenged-based backstories and a pair of Uchihas all sneezed._

As Negi continued silent and unmoving, perplexed, Chisame sighed and put her card on her forehead. "I suppose I can call Misora up for a lift now..."

Chamo looked around, seeming suddenly tense and worried again. "Better hurry up, Sis. I have this odd sensation we're still are being watched..."

Deeper into the woods, Tsunetsuki Matoi leaned against a tree trunk and inhaled deeply, cold sweat running down her forehead.

The stalker had suffered through long hours of aimlessly wandering across the hills looking for her beloved little Negi, until finally stumbling into the odd chance of seeing him and those really weird girls from afar, fighting a tiny monster for their very lives. And using what obviously was magic.

What was happening there? Was she going insane? Were the counselors right after all? Was this a computer simulation, and next she'd be asked to pick the red pill or the blue one?

She dropped down to her knees, trembling violently for a few minutes, unable to move away or act, overwhelmed by the revelation. Long minutes passed.

Slowly, she smiled to herself.

Ooohhhhh, that only made him **even more **attractive...!

She was sure he'd tell her when the right moment came.

* * *

><p>Sora could have sworn she heard someone whispering random things about magic and secrets as she woke up. Even so, her ears still rang too much, and her head still felt too heavy and aching, for her to trust anything her numbed senses were picking up as she struggled to get up, sitting on the bed and allowing the covers to drop off her torso and onto her lap. She rubbed her scalp with a hand, wondering why exactly it still ached so much.<p>

Then she realized she was not alone when Chisame almost jumped onto her, wrapping her in a hug the likes of which they had not shared since they were little children. "Sora...!"

"Uh? Hm?" she fumbled around for her glasses, sneaking an arm out of her younger sister's tight grasp, feeling around until she found them over a nearby night stand. With a clumsy motion, she put them on and was able to see all the young faces gathered around her.

"Hakase-san," she recognized Chisame's roommate, whom she had met last year. "Is this your—" she looked around and noticed all the spare parts, computer equipment, and what looked suspiciously like a canister with radiation hazards symbols on it filling up the place. "Yes, still the same, I see..." she said, slowly blinking.

Negi smiled, looking at the good natured and awkward demeanor of the older Hasegawa. Now that was much more like the girl he had spoken with over the phone. A warm, well-intentioned person who just happened to fall short of her younger sister's expectations. He was pretty sure the influence was over right then.

"Sora-san," he greeted with a polite bow. "It's nice to meet you in person. I'm Negi Springfield, Chisame-san's homeroom teacher."

The young woman looked at him in awe. "My God, you're even younger than I expected..." she mouthed before stuttering, "I-I mean no offense! It's great for someone of your age to have achieved that much!"

The one of the twins lying at her side got up groggily almost at the exact same time, rubbing her head. "Waiii, what happened to us...?" Fumika whined.

Next to her, Fuuka frowned and snuggled closer, trying to pull her down back into the bed. "Fumika, not yet..." she murmured."Nee-chan needs her snuggles…"

"NEE-CHAN!" Fumika practically shrieked. "WAKE UP!"

Fuuka winced, but was persuaded to open her eyes. "Ow, my head… what did Kaede-neechan give us and what and how many times did we do it as a result…? The last thing I remember is walking through the forest, and stumbling on a root..."

"The three of you inhaled a mildly toxic spore from a very rare variety of local wild plant," Hakase explained, technically telling them the truth. "We have managed to purge said toxins out of your system, in a way I'd be highly interested in explaining but I've been told you most likely won't have the next eight hours available for. In short, I would suggest not venturing out into the wilderness alone and without a guide again. Oh, and also, I advice a good long night of rest and one daily dose of these suppositories for the next week..." she held up a small box.

Sora, Fuuka and Fumika all paled in horror.

"Ahem," Misa coughed, trying to change the subject. "Anyway, it's good to see you're all okay. Do you remember me, Sora-neechan? I'm Kakizaki Misa, captain of the cheerleading team! We gave a really cool show for the assembled parents and relatives last time you were here! You remember it, don't you?"

Sora looked at her for a few minutes before mutely shrugging in admission of her ignorance. Misa briefly looked perplexed, then drooped her shoulders down with a weary sigh. "We poured all our hearts into that routine..."

"I'm very sorry," Sora sincerely lamented.

"Misa-chan, where are Sakurako-chan and Madoka-chan?" Fuuka asked.

"At practice," Misa quickly lied.

"And why aren't you too?" Fumika questioned.

"Because I'm that damn good."

"Who found us in the forest?" Fuuka wanted to know. "Mana-chan?"

"A sempai who happened to be walking around there," Misora said from where she sat lounging with Cocone on Negi's rarely-used-anymore futon. "Kaga, wasn't it?"

"Kuga," Asuna corrected, standing near the bed with her arms crossed.

"The biker girl?" Fuuka blinked.

"She's a bit scary," Fumika added, "But now I guess she's a good person after all..."

"Oh my God!" Sora gasped in visible terror. "NOW I REMEMBER!"

"WHAT?!" Negi, Chisame, Asuna, Hakase, Misora, Misa, and even Cocone all cried out at once.

"I... I..." she hugged her little sister back, even more tightly, and bawled, "I FORGOT YOUR BIRTHDAY'S TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CHIU-CHAN!"

Misora's eyebrows twitched. "... Chiu-chan?"

Sora sniffed loudly. "Y-Yeah, that was the nickname we gave her when she was little. She couldn't pronounce 'Chisame' until she was—"

"THERE YOU ARE AGAIN, REVEALING SAYING TOO MUCH!" Chisame quickly pulled back. "PLEASE, SORA...!"

"S-S-Sorry..." her sister sniffed."I suppose I got carried away again..."

"Chiu? Like the famous, glamorous, totally hot Internet idol?" Misa put a finger on her chin. "What a coincidence. Come to think about it, you even look a bit alike..."

Chisame choked in her saliva.

"You are a Chiu fan, Misa-san?" Negi asked her.

"Totally. You too, Negi-kun?" the cheerleader grinned. "The girls and I take all sorts of neat ideas for dresses and stuff out of her webpage. Her beauty tips are very useful, too..."

Misora chuckled in a devilish way. "Yeah, I agree. You could take a few, Chisame. I'm sure they'd help you with those skin problems of yours..."

"Man, that's one girl I'd be lesbian for," Misa continued to reminisce. "She's totally a CILF."

"CILF?" Misora prompted, grin growing wider.

"Yeah. Chick I'd Like to Fu–"

"WE HAVE MINORS IN THE ROOM!"Chisame cried, doing her best to hold her fists at her sides, forcing herself to keep the veins on her head down.

Sora looked at the sprinter and her small companion. "Forgive my bad memory, but who are you, again?"

"I'm Kasuga Misora, track and field star, and this is my little buddy Cocone-chan," she proudly patted the dark skinned child's head as she waved a hand quietly.

"My pleasure," Sora bowed and turned her attentions to Asuna. "And, you—?"

"Kagurazaka Asuna!" the redhead vivaciously replied, before smiling widely and fondly saying, "One of Chisame's friends."

"I see," the college student nodded. "Chisame-chan?"

"Yes?" she grumbled.

"I'm so happy for you. In the last year, you've made so many good friends. More than me, I must admit," she reached up with a hand, softly caressing Chisame's right temple. "I'm sorry I've been such a weak, useless older sister. I know you deserved better. I even stayed away because I knew I was weak, and I was afraid you wouldn't want to see me ever again. I never should have done that," she lowered her face ruefully. "I was negligent and stupid, a true failure as a sister. I bet I even lost that cake I was bringing over for you when I fainted..."

Asuna nodded, holding Sora's handbag up and pulling out a crumpled down, ruined white box with a cake sign painted on it.

Sora sulked down even more. "I just knew it...!"

"Now, now, don't be so sad," Negi tried to cheer her up. "We already had some cake ready here..."

Fuuka pouted. "Sensei, you're so bad! And you too, Chiu-chan! You were going to have a birthday party complete with cake without inviting us!"

"Don't call me 'Chiu-chan'!" Chisame protested. _Oh god, it's going to spread…!_

"It was going to be a simple private celebration. Chisame usually prefers it that way..." Satomi spoke up again.

"But that's boring!" Fumika said. "Let's bring on Kaede-neechan and Konoka-chan, and Iinchou and everyone else!"

"Yeah!" Fuuka cried. "Let's get _wild_! And if certain things end up developing…"

"We have neither the space nor the cake for that many people!" Chisame stated.

Then someone knocked at the front door. "I'll get it," Negi said, going to open it and finding Ako and Akira at the doorstep, the tall swimmer holding another, middle-sized cake between her hands.

"Good evening," the assistant nurse shyly said, keeping her arms crossed behind her back. "We hope we aren't intruding, Sensei, but after learning Chisame-san's birthday was tonight, we decided to bring her something for her. It isn't much, but it's the best we could do in such a short notice..."

Fuuka peeked over at them, making a gigantic mischievous grin. "Now there's enough cake for everyone! Let's call on all the class! Class 2-A, ASSEM-BLE!"

"Absolutely not!" Chisame shouted.

"Come on!" Fumika pleaded. "We promise you'll have lots of fun!"

"Yeah!" Fuuka agreed, clamping on to her sister from behind and grinning up at Chisame. "_Lots _of fun…"

"Your ideas of fun and mine are incompatible!" the youngest Hasegawa barked.

"You won't know for sure until you've tried it, Chiu-chan!" Fuuka teased, winking as she held her blushing sister tighter. "Who knows? You and Sora-neechan might end up really bonding!-!-!"

"I told you to stop using that name with me!" _It's going to spread, and keep spreading… I should have thrown the brat out the window the first chance I got…_

All the while, Sora simply smiled happily.

Chisame hadn't been that lively in nearly a decade.

Now, if only…

"Ahhh, excuse us…?" a voice came from the doorstep, and when Sora turned around, she saw a sheepish-looking tall boy with blond hair, in white shirt and black pants, standing there, with a key in his right hand, and the other hand behind his neck. Behind him, half-hidden and hugging a stuffed bunny, stood a petite and golden-blond girl in black Gothloli, with mismatched eyes, much like Asuna's. Her face was crunched up in a strange mixture of fear, hesitation and hostility. The boy, however, kept on talking with passive and docile wariness. "It took us a while finding our way here; the Dorm mother didn't even want to let us in, and then I had to knock on all the doors, and the next door neighbors had to give us this spare key, I hope you don't mind… Um, I mean, hello, Oneesan, Chisame-chan, and… everyone?" he lamely finished.

The much smaller girl just sighed, then aloofly said, "Good afternoon, Elise, Christine. I see you have gathered many more servants for my cause. Good, good! My congratulations! Oh ho ho ho!" she fell into a feigned Noblewoman's Laugh.

Asuna leaned towards Chisame. "Is she possessed too?" she whispered.

"Nah, she's always like that," the hacker murmured, before raising her voice. "Everyone," she announced, since Sora couldn't talk, being on the verge of tears and all, "meet our brother, Hasegawa Kodaka, and our sister, Hasegawa Kobato."

"_Ooooh, la-la…"_ Misa hummed under her breath, eyeing Kodaka carefully.

"Pleased to meet you all," the tall boy bowed.

"Likewise, Kodaka-san!" Negi bowed back.

Sora kept on stiffly sobbing in bliss.

"Kobato? Hasegawa Kobato? What an insult!" the Gothic Lolita pouted, puffing her cheeks up, the blue eye and the red one sparkling with intensity. "Christine, you know well my name is Reisys VI Felicity Sumeragi! Queen of the Night, Mistress of Puppets, the greatest vampire of the era! Do not address to me through that lowly human name ever again! You have been warned!"

Chisame looked at her classmates. "Now do you see why I really dislike Evangeline?"

"Aaahhhhhh…" Misa, Misora, Asuna and the twins chorused.

"I don't get it," Sora and Negi chorused instead.

* * *

><p>After the small (thanks to Chisame's continued efforts on keeping it that way) celebration had finished, and the blond Hasegawas, Ako, Akira, Fuuka and Fumika had left, Sora had excused herself to take a shower, Chisame had taken the opportunity to gather everyone away from her sister and continue debating the points they had been touching on as Sora and the twins slept.<p>

_"Then, what are we going to do about this? I don't want to sound like a broken record, but Kuga sounded awfully serious about her beliefs,"_ she whispered. _"I don't think we can discard the fact of another evil mage being on the loose at these grounds, especially after the incident with Eva."_

_"What if Eva herself was the one who killed Kuga-sempai's mother?"_ Misa asked, also keeping her voice low.

"I dunno, she said she didn't kill women or children, and the stories about her tend to agree on that part," Misora muttered. "Plus Kuga said it happened eight years go. Evangeline says she's been stuck here for longer. Besides, what motive could she have? She's the kind who'd _want _someone like a paranormal investigator to know about her so she can strike terror into people's hearts."

"What? What?" Asuna blinked without a clue. "Evangeline's a wizard too?"

"A centuries old vampire witch," Cocone nodded.

Asuna grimaced. "No, really, what the hell? What's next? Chizuru is a Nazi? Zazie is a demon? Madoka is one of the mole people? Chao is an alien? Nodoka is a boy in disguise? Chachamaru is a robot?"

Satomi scowled. "Chachamaru IS a robotic life-form."

"She IS?!" Kagurazaka's jaw fell.

Satomi scowled even more for a second before suddenly brightening up with a huge smile. "So! She IS convincing enough to pass for a human!"

"No, everyone in our class is just too self-absorbed to pay attention to the fact she has metal where her ears should be," Chisame said.

"Enough nonsense!" Misora waved a hand. "Look, Chisame, I'm with Asuna on one thing; no way the Dean would allow a murderer to stay at campus under his protection. No two ways about it."

"Exactly!" the redhead nodded.

"But what if he doesn't know that person is a killer?" Misa asked them.

"As if," Kasuga snorted. "He may look goofy and absent minded, but in reality, he has freaking eyes on his back. Nothing escapes him."

"He did a whole lot of nothing when Evangeline attacked us," Chisame pointed out. "Honestly, he's not Dumbledore! I doubt he knows _everything _that's happening on campus and has some kind of elaborate plan to wipe out the forces of evil by gathering the Hocruxes!"

"Then..." Negi finally spoke up again, hesitant and sounding troubled once more, "Who do you think killed Kuga-san's mother?"

"We can't know with so little info on it," Misora shrugged. "How does she even know it was a mage anyway? Did she even get to see that person at all?"

"She didn't say, but I guess she either got a bad look or nothing at all. Otherwise, that's not the kind of face you'd easily forget," Chisame replied. "Unless someone just _told_ her. If it happened eight years ago, then she'd be young and impressionable and do something really stupid like swear vengeance for the rest of her life."

Batman, an Uchiha, several hundred angsty avenger types and Negi all sneezed. (Un)fortunately, Misora had been quick enough to smother his face with a pillow, and no one lost their clothes.

"Trust me, you don't want to see him _really _sneeze," Chisame told a staring Asuna.

"Well, we can't do anything about it without knowing more than that," Misora said, throwing down the pillow.

"You're right!" Negi stood up with determination. "Then, let's find the truth about it!"

"Th-That's not what I wanted to mean!" Kasuga gasped. "Why don't we let it pass? It's none of our business! Maybe she'll just get over it by herself!"

"Now I really can agree with you," the birthday girl nodded, resting her back against a wall. "Trying to look for someone whose already killed once screams Darwin Award levels of stupidity."

"Besides, angsty-avenger types like that tend to get real annoyed when they think you're interfering or, heaven forbid, trying to get them the psychiatric help they need!" Asuna said. Everyone looked at her. "What? Konoka's library club, Haruna sometimes comes over, some things rubbed off…"

"But as a mage, my duty is to help those with grave problems, and she's my student too... at least when she attends classes..." Negi pouted.

"Hooo boy, there we go. When he puts his mind on something, there's no stopping him," Misa chuckled before giving Asuna a sidelong glance. "Welcome to the team in any case, Asuna-chan."

The taller girl grimaced. "Team? Whoa, whoa, aren't you going too fast here?"

"We're Sensei's helpers!" Misa smiled, patting Negi's head with a hand.

"Harem," Cocone whispered under her breath.

Misora looked at her. "Did you just say something?"

"Nothing."

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, Asuna-san, but since you already know about the world of magic, maybe you would like to learn more about it, " Negi offered. "These things are best either untouched or explored all the way, as long as it's done in a safe manner," he cautioned. "But if an incident like today's ever happens again, it pays off to be well prepared and knowing what to do."

"Wow…" Misa said, drooling slightly. "That kinda reminds me about that lecture with the banana and cond–"

Chisame threw the pillow at her.

"So, it's actual magic, huh..." Asuna looked mildly interested now. "Can I use magic to win Takahata-sensei's love?"

"Using magic for such ends is never a good idea..." Negi said. "I mean, Shakespeare wrote a play about it and everything, we're actually taking it up in class soon…"

"But it can be done, right?" Asuna pressed on.

"Yes, it can!" Chamo devilishly sweetened the deal.

"Then I'm in!" Kagurazaka smirked.

"You're 'in' what?" Sora peeked her head out of the bathroom while toweling her wet hair off.

"N-Nothing!" Chisame stammered as everyone else bit their tongues. "Just planning our, uh, club activities for the weekend!"

"I thought you didn't belong to a club, Chisame..." her sister blinked.

"It's a club we've just formed!" Misa piped in. "The, hmm, Society for— for—"

"We are the British Culture Research Club," Cocone calmly stated. "As a native of that country, Negi-sensei acts as our current sponsor and leader figure."

"Oh," the college student paused before smiling, "That sounds very, uh, cool! It's great you have those interests! Very formative!" she approved before pulling herself back into the bath.

The group breathed a collective sigh of relief.

"You really have to work on your cover stories more," Cocone suggested.

* * *

><p><em><strong>Interlude Zwei: Konoka Again.<strong>_

"Where IS Asuna?!" Konoka fretted. "Her dinner's stone cold!"

Setsuna decided that Kagurazaka would have hell to pay for making Konoka sad…

* * *

><p>Sora found the bed to be too small for her liking.<p>

She lay with her eyes open and fixed on the ceiling above, with Chisame lying at her left, facing away from her and toward the wall, occasionally making small mouth motions, as if trying to chew or kiss something. She still slept the same way as when she was a child. Quiet and silent, but still restless in her own subdued way.

Then the college student felt something worming into the upper bunk, startling her. Chisame stirred and half opened her eyes, quickly finding the small figure crawling between them amidst the darkness. "Ah. Never mind. Just Sensei," she yawned indifferently. "Does that all the time. Used to sleep with his sister."

"Sis," Negi exhaled contently as he rolled towards Chisame, who mechanically opened her arms to welcome him against her body. Sora stared, in slight shock, as the child relaxed onto her sister's frame, the teenager cradling him in a loose embrace. Chisame had always rejected physical contact of any kind.

Yet, the older girl said nothing as they both fell fully asleep again. She only kept on looking, and thinking and thinking, until finally, with a relenting sigh, she cuddled closer and wrapped a protecting arm around them, resting her chin on the top of Chisame's head. Slowly, she allowed herself to fall into a deep sleep as well…

Then started as another body suddenly caused the bunk to shift, and Hakase came in on Chisame's other side. The scientist cuddled behind the other girl, instantly falling asleep, muttering indistinct words. What was that about cherry blossoms?

Sora just _had _to wonder what exactly would have gone on if she hadn't been there…

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere, at the same time:<em>

Shiho sighed as she and Mana continued scanning the forest area from their hiding spot, her tall Sempai still waiting and watching, scanning the area with her night vision binoculars while always keeping her sniper rifle ready and in position.

"Oneesama..." the small girl finally let a whine out.

_"What?"_ Tatsumiya whispered.

"Are you sure this is really the last place where the 'Orphan' was sighted?"

_"Yes."_

Shiho paused, rubbed her sleepy eyes, and added, "Well, I don't know about you, but I have a hunch it must have gone somewhere else in the woods..."

_"Those random explosions could have been anything… probably that Daidouji girl and her friend setting off fireworks and making videos again…"_

* * *

><p>Next day, after classes, Misa excused herself to the other cheerleaders again before going to rejoin Negi and the other Pactio partners at the train station. Asuna clearly looked as if she had no idea what was she doing there, but still chose to stay as Hasegawa Sora said her goodbyes to everyone. She just thought it was rather sad the rest of the Hasegawa siblings had chosen not to come say their own goodbyes. What the heck was wrong with that family?<p>

"Goodbye, Hakase-san. Please keep on looking after Chisame," she told the genius, squeezing her hands with concern.

"I will," Satomi nodded with a perfectly serious expression on her face.

"It's the other way around!" Chisame snorted.

"Negi-sensei, promise me no matter what, you'll stay at Chisame's side, guiding her in my absence," the amateur mechanic asked the boy next, now squeezing his shoulders tightly.

"Of course!" he firmly said. "Um, that is unless I get fired or something…"

Then Sora addressed the others. "Kasuga-san, Cocone-chan, Kagurazaka-san, Kakizaki-san... Please tell the twins goodbye for me. I had a real lot of fun with them, and they shouldn't beat themselves up over what happened."

"I'm sure they aren't going to," Chisame huffed.

Her older sister sadly smiled at her. "Chisame..."

"Yeah, what?"

Sora grabbed her in a surprise bear hug, sniffing loudly. "Continue being such a lovely lady, I beg you. You have some wonderful friends, so don't ever let them down. Please, succeed where I failed. Keep the love of all those around you."

Chisame's face twitched for a few moments, then she pushed Sora back. "P-Please! You're embarrassing me!"

Then she looked at the wetness on her sister's eyes, despite her clumsy attempts to wipe it off before she realized it, and she regretted her words, lowering her head. "I mean... you aren't a failure. So... stop treating yourself like one."

She hesitated, then lunged ahead to hug Sora back. "You aren't a failure. Your friends are weird too, but I'm sure they love you for what you are. Stop berating yourself over everything. In truth... I don't hold anything against you."

"Chisame..." she gasped, the wetness returning in full force.

"The train's about to depart," Cocone quietly observed.

"That's your cue," Chisame briefly pecked her sister's forehead, then all but pushed her away. "C'mon, it's not like we'll never meet again. I'll need your signed authorization for the class trip, so let yourself drop by again in a few weeks, okay?"

"Huh? Why not to ask Dad and—"

"I'm not **that **desperate," Chisame icily commented. "Take care, Sora."

"Yeah. You too, Chisame-chan."

As the train disappeared in the distance, not even Misora, Misa and Chamo dared to say anything about the wetness on Chisame's face as she continued waving goodbye.

_"I love you,"_ she whispered, believing she was far enough for no one to listen.

_"I love you, Imouto-chan,"_ Sora whispered while sinking down into her seat, rubbing her eyes for a few minutes before perking up in alert. "Oh, no! I forgot Tamiya-sempai's cake!"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	13. Amantes, Amentes

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts<strong>.

With credits (again) to proofreader/co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Amantes, Amentes<strong>.

* * *

><p>Kugimiya Madoka stirred in her bed and moaned (we'll leave you to guess in what manner), then tried to cover her head with a pillow to block her roommates' incessant chattering, the dream of being a magical girl lich already fading. It didn't work at all, so she finally pushed herself up on her hands and shot an angry glare at them.<p>

"Keep it down, will you? I'm still trying to catch a few more Zs. And why are you two up so early? It's a Sunday, for Kami-sama's sake..."

"Correction," Misa smiled while powdering her face before the mirror. "It's a Sunday the 13th of February! Valentine's Day Eve!"

"'Eve' is the _night _before," Madoka pointed out. "Honestly, you should listen in class more."

"And we're going shopping!" Sakurako grinned from where she was putting her lipstick on.

"Ah. Going for chocolate for Sensei and Hakase, huh?" Madoka rolled back on her bed, facing the wall and closing her eyes. "Well, just this once, count me out. Studying for that test has left me dry."

"Actually, we'll be making our own chocolate," Sakurako said. "It'll feel more sincere that way."

Madoka lifted her head up again. "Then what are you going to buy?"

"Sakurako knows this weird store where they sell all sorts of charms and tools to get all kinds of things, including true love..." Misa explained.

"I thought you didn't believe in such things," the black haired girl doubted.

Misa only smiled. "I have... reconsidered my position on the subject lately," she replied.

Kugimiya sat up rubbing her eyes. "Wasn't that the store where they sold you those cats, Sakurako?"

"Uh-huh," her other friend nodded.

"The one run by the weirdo in the funny hat and the wooden sandals?"

"Bingo."

Madoka sighed. "That guy gives me the creeps. You sure you want to trust his opinion on matters of love?"

Misa shrugged. "What's the worst thing—"

"Don't say it!" Kugimiya warned.

"—that could happen?" Kakizaki carelessly finished.

"You said it!" Madoka growled. "Well, forget it. No way I'm going to be dragged along into that. Not this time." She hmphed and rolled back into the bed.

"We're going right after breakfast, so don't take too long there, okay?" Misa told her.

"I said I'm not going with you!" Madoka insisted.

"Come on, Madoka-chan...!" Shiina whined, giving her the puppy-dog eyes.

Madoka grunted, tightening the pillow against her head to block the deadly Sakurako vibrations out.

"Pleaseeeee!" Shiina didn't let her get away.

Madoka clenched her teeth. She was going to regret that, she was so bloody sure of it.

* * *

><p>Later that morning, as the three cheerleaders approached the old, run down store, they saw a tall, orange haired boy leaving in a hurry, holding a large package under an arm. He passed by next to them giving them the briefest gruff glare, then quickly disappeared down the street.<p>

"Man, that guy is scary," Madoka shuddered.

"Yeah, looks like a thug, but I think I've seen him somewhere before..." Misa observed. "Look at his hair! It's probably bleached…"

"_This is not Bleach!" Ichigo cried out, then wondered what compelled him to do that spontaneously as people edged away from him._

"Oh, that's just Kurosaki-sempai. He studies at Mahora, too!" Sakurako said, back with our heroines, still in the best of moods. "He often comes, buys a few things very secretly, then leaves as soon as he came. I don't get why so much secrecy, but not even Urahara-san will tell me about it..."

"Bah, who cares. It's probably just porn," Misa waved a hand dismissively, striding towards the entrance. "Hey, Shopkeeper-sama! You have three lovely clients here!"

"I'm not going to buy anything!" Kugimiya warned.

The door creaked open, and a hulking, balding and fearsome tower of muscles with terrifying shiny glasses, wearing blue overalls and holding a broomstick in a hand, came out to meet them, startling Misa and Madoka. "Yes...?"

"Good morning, Tessai-sama!" Sakurako happily sing-sang, skipping ahead while her friends recoiled. "Is Urahara-sama in?"

"Yes, he is." He bowed formally to her. "Enchanted to see you again, Shiina-dono. As beautiful as ever."

"Oh, you flatterer!" she giggled before gesturing towards her friends. "You know my friends Misa and Madoka, right?"

"I believe you brought them once or twice before, yes," he thoughtfully replied. The two girls smiled nervously at him. He only turned around and walked back inside. "I'll bring you to Urahara-dono. I'm sure he'll have plenty of time to see you."

As they followed the huge man into the store, Misa looked in awe at all the strange artifacts and assorted objects for display at the walls and shelves. She never had noticed it before meeting Negi, but those cards they had for sale bore a striking resemblance to Pactio cards. Many other items were very similar to the magical stuff Negi used to collect. There were piles of books randomly stacked, from simple notebook-like ones with handwritten titles like "The Word of Kemmler" to cheesy cardboard ones titled "Necronomiron Pop-Up Edition". She felt a shiver run down her spine.

Sakurako and Madoka were oblivious to it, Shiina merrily waving at a red-headed angry-looking boy and a black-haired skinny little girl with deep sad eyes mopping the halls. "Good morning, Jinta-kun, Ururu-chan!"

The sickly looking girl bowed at them as well. "Good morning, Shiina-sama..."

The boy just groaned leaning on his mop lazily. "Great, the chatty hen brought two more hens..."

Madoka shot him an angry glare, and the kid quickly feigned innocence and got back to work.

"Urahara-dono," Tessai announced, knocking on a door at the main hall's end. "Shiina-dono and her two best friends have come to see the newest merchandise."

An amused voice came from the inside. "Ohh, good, good! Bring them in, will you?"

The giant nodded, then opened the door and stepped aside, gesturing for the girls to walk in. "Good luck with your acquisitions," he wished them.

"Thank you!" the three of them chorused with varying degrees of comfort, and quickly walked in.

…..

He was roguishly handsome, Misa guessed, although he really needed a good change of clothes. He sat carelessly at the other end of the room, smoking from a long wooden pipe and refreshing himself with a folding fan. His striped hat obscured most of his face, his shirt was half open, and the wooden sandals half-hung lazily from his pale feet. She wondered if he shopped at the same place Itoshiki-sensei did. All in all, not a very trustworthy-looking guy. He looked like some walking Deus Ex Machina for getting people in trouble.

Then he opened his mouth and made it all worse.

"Ha ha ha ha!" he folded the fan and tapped with it on the tatami, beckoning for the girls to come closer. Sakurako did it happily, her friends following with some reluctance. "Welcome, Sakurako-chan! I had started to believe you'd forgotten us! Taking good care of the kittens, I hope!"

"Yeah! Yoruichi-chan, Blair-chan and Felicia-chan are the best pets I've ever had! And they're so smart, too! It's almost as if they were human!"

Misa looked at her. "You mean you bought those cats here? Is this a pet shop, too?"

"Yep. And they were very cheap, too!" her lucky friend declared. "Almost a gift; Urahara-sama's only condition was I couldn't change their names."

"Oh, think nothing of it. I got them for practically nothing from a contact. Count D, great guy. This is a shop for everything special, unusual and incredible!" the man boasted. "Kakizaki Misa-chan, right?"

"Errr, yes," she nodded quickly. "And this is Kugimiya Madoka."

"Hello," Madoka weakly waved.

Urahara raised an interested eyebrow. "Interesting name… tell me girl, do you like cake?"

"We came for something for Valentine's!" Sakurako chirped. "Something for good luck at love!"

"Really? Why would three adorable young ladies like you need a boost in love? Especially you, Sakurako-chan! No sane man would ever reject you!"

Misa chuckled and ran a hand over Shiina's head. "Well, the issue is, it isn't either a man or sane."

"Misa...!" Shiina whined.

"Oh-hum! I see. That kind of 'maidenly love', huh?" the shopkeeper said, pondering. "How about you?"

"Me?" Misa asked back. "Well, I'm after a... a..."

"A younger man," Madoka huffed. "A much younger one."

"Don't say it as if it's a crime!" Kakizaki protested.

"But it is!" Madoka insisted.

"Curiouser and curiouser..." Urahara pondered. "That leaves you, Kugimiya-san..."

"I'm in no hurry yet," Madoka waved a hand dismissively.

"The spring of life should be enjoyed while it's still there. If you don't take advantage of the SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH! it'll be gone before you know it," Urahara observed, then moved on, pulling a large box out into the open. "You're in luck today, in any case! This is our special offer of rare unique items reserved only for our best customers hour! Come closer and feast your eyes on this! You're guaranteed to win over your loved ones' heart with this spectacular selection of wonders!"

Misa looked in, then made a disgusted grimace, pointing at one of the items. "What the Hell is THIS?"

Urahara chuckled, reaching over for the mounted, stuffed salmon with the white face and the distorted, forced into a red rictus grin, mouth. "Joker Fish! A great conversation piece for those private nights under the candlelight!"

"What kind of sicko would find that romantic?-!" Misa protested.

"I have it on good authority it's psychiatrist recommended." The salesman shrugged. "How 'bout this? An authentic Shikon Jewel!" he showed them a blatantly fake huge pearl hanging from a necklace. "Sure to help you at every turn of life! Augments your spiritual powers, brings prosperity to your home, and it will make you the envy of your entire neighborhood!"

"Spiritual powers?" Misa was tempted before brushing it away. "Sorry. We're looking for something more short term."

"Oh, you sound really desperate. Now why could such a gorgeous girl be that frantic about securing her love?" the man wondered. "I know! You must have very serious, powerful rivals!"

Misa reluctantly nodded, and Sakurako and Madoka agreed with nods of their own.

Urahara smirked devilishly, and held a black notebook up. "Then... this is what you need," he ominously whispered. "A Death Note. Write your enemies' names here, and they'll be out of your way... permanently."

All three girls shuddered, backing away in horror.

"Th-THAT'S HIDEOUS!" Misa screamed. "I'd never do such a thing, no matter what!"

"BWA HA HA HA!" the man laughed again, pushing the notebook back into the box. "Just kidding! Kidding! Honestly, a Death Note... who would ever believe such a thing? It was just a test of character. Here, I only wanted to know if you could be trusted with… this!"

He reached in again and handed a large bottle full of honey-colored thick liquid over at them.

"What is this?" Misa took the bottle in her hands, quizzically eyeing it. "Felix Felicis?"

"Ah, how cute. A Love Potion, naturally. Some say its recipe was written by Urd, the Goddess of Love herself, back when this world was still young," Urahara narrated. "Other sources claim it was, uh, _made _by shikima for the use of certain ninja clans. Make the objects of your affections drink this down, or mix it with their food, and their feelings for you will be unleashed to such a degree they will be yours in body and soul! Er, figuratively, of course."

"Come on, that's just—!" Madoka bit her tongue before saying, "Unethical! Perverted! Underhanded and questionable! If you think we'll ever fall so low, you've got another thing coming! Besides, I doubt that's FDA approved!"

She stopped, noticing Misa and Sakurako were both eyeing the bottle with giant adoring eyes. "... Crap."

"We... We'll buy it!" Shiina sighed aloud.

"We'll pay anything!" Misa added.

Urahara made a 'Tch Tch' sound and fanned himself again. "Like I've said before, you're a friend of this house, Sakurako-chan. You can have it cheap. The potion is so potent, it should suffice for all three of you to use."

"I said I'm not interested!" Madoka claimed.

"How much?" Sakurako asked.

"Cheap, very cheap," Uruhara said, smiling brightly. "I'll take… YOUR SOUL!"

"I have 100 yen!" Sakurako said.

"Sold!"

Shortly afterwards, however, each one of them was leaving the store with a bottle in a hand. Urahara watched them from a window as they walked away down the street, chattering and joking. His expression was serious now, taking brief smokes from his pipe, his obscured eyes mirroring his deep thinking.

A voice came from behind him. "Are you sure that was a wise idea?"

"Ehhh, to learn what true love is, they must take missteps first," he said. "And if we want to stop the cycle this time, once and for all, we'll need all of them to finally learn that most important lesson. Every last one of the thirty one."

"Well, if you place so much trust on them for the future..." the voice dangerously crooned in his right ear, "Why not to give them the Note, huh?"

Urahara grunted, pulled an apple out of one of his pockets, and roughly stuffed it into the dark hovering spirit's mouth. "Shut up, Ryuk."

* * *

><p>The thirteenth night of February. Valentine's Day Eve. A dark and cold one, with howling winds blowing all over Mahora. The small figure wrapped in a long white overcoat shuddered under the onslaught of the sudden icy wave, before knocking at the door of a particular dorm room in a very secretive manner.<p>

The visitor's eyes shone eagerly behind thick round glasses, as the door creaked open and Yotsuba Satsuki's round calm face peeked out.

"Are... Are they ready?" the visitor asked, struggling to keep her voice above a whisper.

"Yes," the master chef whispered back. She didn't see the actual point of such secrecy, but if it made her friend happy... "Here," she handed her a heart shaped box wrapped in hot bright pink. "Don't worry about the payment. I can wait until this month's end."

"Oh, thank you, thank you so very much..." thin pale fingers nervously tapped on the box, a large unstable grin creeping up on her face.

Satsuki nodded slowly. "By the way..."

"Yes?"

"What do you think she'll say?"

The visitor fidgeted around. "Well... From what I've read up on it, the date is only to offer chocolate gifts to boys... I'm sure she'll understand... It's-It's not like this is anything but a token of friendly affection for him..."

"Right," Satsuki nodded again.

Chao's sleepy voice came from inside the room. "Mmmm? Hakase, izzat you...?"

"Oh noes! I must go!" the mysterious visitor gasped, then turned around, slipped, got up with a groan, and quickly sprinted into the night. It'd have made Misora jealous.

Satsuki sighed and shook her head. "Chao, when is the World Domination Club going to finish testing their weather machine?"

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere...<em>

The five maids waited in perfect silence at both sides of the kitchen's door, stiffening up with each new manic giggle they heard coming from inside, along with the deadly wafts of perplexing smells coming out from under the door.

"Poor, poor Ojou-sama..." Roberta bit into her handkerchief over and over again, ripping it apart piece by piece like a rabid dog. "She's never been the same since she met that accursed boy..."

"I still don't get it. Why doesn't she allow us to make the chocolates for her?" Taeko asked.

Siesta waved a finger. "A young lady's efforts of love should never be interrupted by anyone! Such things are all a maiden's amusement…"

Then there was a crash, and Ayaka's cries of triumph filled the night. "It's alive! IT'S ALIVE! THE FRUIT OF OUR LOVE!-!-!-!-! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!-!-!-!-!-!"

Siesta gasped. "On second thought, let's just bring that door down and act right now!"

"I'll go bring the shotguns," Fubuki declared, very seriously. She shook her head. "Multiple exclamation points… the sure sign of a disturbed mind…"

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere again...<em>

Madoka mumbled as she heard her roommates giggling and whispering to each other, mixing the contents of their bottles into the chocolate they were making. She looked down at her own chocolate batch, then at the untouched bottle at her left. No, she wouldn't do it after all. She'd take the risk; even if she was rejected, she'd at least save herself the humiliation of relying on a cheap superstition.

Yeah. It was much better that way. Even if it worked, what was the point on getting love that way?

She felt the sharp stares of Sakurako's pets fixed on her, all three of them sitting on the floor around her. "What do you want? I thought cats don't like sweet things."

The white cat with the blueish streak on her head purred and rubbed her head against her right leg.

"Felicia...!" Sakurako briefly stopped her chat to look at her. "What's with you? You haven't paid me any attention tonight!"

Madoka smiled. "Animals can feel dirty intentions. I'm sure they don't like cheaters."

"In love, there's nothing like a cheat or a dirty trick!" Misa defended. "All is fair in love and war! For love is blind, and lovers do not see the petty follies that they themselves commit!"

Madoka huffed. "If you can call that love..."

"What do you mean with that?" Kakizaki scowled.

"Nothing," Madoka decided to just stop it before they ended up fighting. Hardly worth it, after all.

"Ne, Madoka," Sakurako called out, "Who's the chocolate for, anyway?"

She casually shrugged. "I dunno. Maybe I'm just making it to eat it myself," she lied. "Or maybe I'll just give it to someone who actually needs it."

"Yeahhhh, riiiight!" Misa leered.

Her words were met by indifference. "Think whatever you want."

Sakurako smiled and patted Madoka on a shoulder. "Good luck with that," she said. "Just tell us when you're ready."

"Dammit, stop assuming things!" Kugimiya complained.

* * *

><p>"Good morning," was the first thing Negi heard when he woke up that morning. He rubbed his eyes with the back of a small hand and looked at Chisame, sitting on the bed next to him, her eyes half closed, but not sleepily; rather, it was as if she had been looking down at him in a critical, dubious way for a while now.<p>

"Good morning, Chisame-san..." he sat up with a little yawn before asking, "Something wrong?"

"No... No, nothing," she replied, shifting around with uneasiness. "It's just I... I..."

She sighed, then yanked one arm aside to reach under her pillow and reluctantly pulled a small square box wrapped in hearts-stamped pink paper. Damn, she had told that stupid store clerk to pick something else for the wrapping...

Chisame nearly pushed it into his hands, blushing as little as she could. "Chocolate," she said.

"Ah?" he blinked.

"D-Don't tell me you're that clueless!" she blurted out. "You have to know the meaning of February the 14th!"

"Ah, yes, that!" he remembered. "Nekane always made me chocolate that day too, and then Anya would bring some as well and slam them down on my head..." he fondly said, eyeing the box with nostalgia (this would later provide much material for his therapist, when he finally got around to getting one). "It's the day of Saint Valentine, patron of chocolates, right?"

"Patron of... chocolates?" Chisame paled a bit, realizing she was resisting an urge to giggle. Did he really have no idea of the true meaning behind that date? "Well, actually, it's more like a... day to celebrate... friendship! Yes, friends hand each other chocolates. That's all. Nothing romantic, no matter what everyone else will tell you today just to tease you. Got it?"

He nodded. "Yeah. Sorry, I forgot, and didn't buy you any chocolate..."

"Not needed!" she quickly answered. "Really! Thank you, the sentiment is what truly counts!"

The boy paused, wondering about why she was acting so strange today, before nodding again and looking in all directions. "By the way, where's Satomi-san?"

She scratched her head. "I dunno. Just woke up myself, and she was already gone. But..." she perked up paying closer attention to her surroundings, looking towards the kitchen's door. "It sounds like she's there..." They both tensed up in alert. "Oh no! She's cooking!"

"Let's use Excuse # 39 this time!" Negi jumped off the bed, Chisame quickly following.

"Roger!" she said. Anything to pry her away from the kitchen, even if it involved making that kind of stupid shit up. Luckily, Hakase bought it every time.

The duo rushed to the kitchen, nearly slamming the door open in their nerves, both of them saying at once, "HAKASE/SATOMI-SAN! WE FORGOT TO TELL YOU WE CAN'T EAT—"

Then they jerked a few steps back in shock, all blood draining from their faces right before returning twice as intense as before.

Hakase looked back at them, taking her eyes apart from the oddly smelling, oddly bubbling mustard and whipped cream stained sandwiches she was making.

"Hm? Oh, you're already up! Good morning and happy Valentines!" she brightly said.

She was wearing nothing but her glasses and a white apron.

"Wh-What the Hell are you doing?!" Chisame pointed a trembling hand at her, resisting the nearly magnetic urge to stare at Hakase's surprisingly pert and tight ass. "I thought I had warned you about keeping your damn clothes on while Negi lived with us!"

Negi had just buried his face into a corner of the kitchen, breathing in and out heavily, not even noticing he had stepped all over Chamo, who in turn had been too busy laying there dreamily muttering "Paradise... Paradise..." to care at all either.

Hakase blinked with that stupidly convenient in-and-out innocence of hers. "Ah? Oh, this. I thought it'd be okay for a special occasion like this, since someone told me it's the correct way to greet your closest ones at Saint Valentine's morning..."

"Haruna!" Chisame seethed immediately. Her psyche picked up its hammer, boards, nails, and cement truck and rapidly began to seal away the door through which the imagery of a young Haruna doing just that to her parents and whichever poor boy or girl she'd been with on Valentine's past was trying to get through…

_A few doors away, Yue was frantically yelling at Haruna to put her clothes on as she kept a fainted Nodoka from falling and hurting herself._

Satomi nodded slowly. "Yes, I was told she knew a lot on the subject, and you know I always consult none but the best sources of expertise. But have no fear! I didn't tell her who I wanted to impress this morning!"

Chisame buried her face in her hands. "Anyone could see it was us!" A pause. "Wait, are you telling us you kinda are... are... with us... and you... and...?"

It was Satomi's turn to look uneasy now, despite her previous lack of awkwardness regarding her own nudity. "W-Well... It's a day of friendship, right...? Yes, you two are... hmmm, two of my closest confidantes, so I thought it would be proper to... I mean, it's not like I harbor actual romantic designs for either of you... Pretty and lovely as you are, mind, I don't mean to offend... I mean... Oh my, I believe my terminology in this field is rather lacking... Anyway! You're my friends, and that's why I'm giving you this!" She pushed her own chocolate box into Chisame's hands, now breathing heavily as well. Chisame kept her eyes firmly focus on the box, and not the interesting contours Hakase was giving the front of the apron…

"Okay..." Chisame's eyebrows twitched, but she opted for not questioning her any further on the subject. Except maybe for... "You mean you'd do this... for all your closest friends?"

Hakase nodded.

"... Chao?" Hasegawa asked.

"I was going to sneak into her kitchen right after you ate the breakfast I made for you. Why?"

Chisame cringed. "... Shiina?"

"Ah, Haruna advised me a different approach with her. Something about wrapping myself in nothing but ribbons and jumping into her bed tonight, although why for, I have no clue. Haruna told me Sakurako would understand and take it from there..."

Hasegawa slammed a fist against a wall. "There will be no February the 15th for Saotome Haruna!" she promised. "SAOTOME HARUNA, PREPARE TO DIE!"

_Somewhere in the world, someone __**very**__ lost sneezed…_

* * *

><p><em>Jiiiiiiiii<em>

The strange, faint staring sound continued as Matoi shadowed Negi, Chisame and Hakase down the hall, never taking her nearly unblinking adoring eyes off him. Negi just kept up a long suffering face; Tsunetsuki-san had been there at their dorm's door as soon as they walked out, and didn't stop following him ever since. He was actually getting used to the creepy girl, which probably boded ill. Chisame had said nothing, but it was clear she was unhappy with the whole situation; Hakase, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind at all, if she even noticed.

Negi only could wonder how a stare, even such a long and deep one, could make any sort of sound. Even his research into his magic tomes had yielded no results on the subject.

They found someone else waiting at 2-A's door, holding a chocolate box of her own. It was one of the young commentators for the dodgeball game two weeks and a half (and two chapters) ago, the redhead with the red bow on her head. "Ah! Good morning... Akatsutsumi-san, right?" Negi asked.

"Yeah!" the 13 year-old nodded cheerfully. "Akatsutsumi Momoko, Negi-sensei!" She laughed uneasily, handing him the box. "Umm, I just was passing by, and decided to give you this. I hope you'll like it..."

"Oh, thanks!" Then he noticed the box had been unsealed, and some chocolates were missing. "Ahhhhh..."

Momoko blushed and licked the last stray chocolate spot off her upper lip. "Oh, sorry, you kinda got here late... Have a nice day! Bye!" She speeded away in cooing embarrassment.

"I-It was nothing, really! Good day to you too!" Negi waved.

Chisame groaned, and then got ready for the onslaught to come as Negi pushed the door open and walked in. As expected, a veritable pack of anxious girls pounced down on him.

"Good morning, Sensei! I brought you this!" Yuuna said.

"Try mine first!" Kazumi chuckled.

"Ours! Ours!" Fuuka pushed hers and Fumika's box ahead. "We made it special with sisterly love!"

"Waaaaa! Order! Order!" Negi called out, struggling to cope.

Ayaka clapped twice, angrily. "You have heard Negi-sensei! One by one!" she barked.

"Here, mine!" Haruna dumped her gift into his hands. "Nodoka, Yue, your turn!"

"Ahhh, y-yes," Nodoka had to be all but pushed ahead by Yue, to stand before Negi blushing cutely, handing him their present. "T-This isn't much, but we do hope you find it of your liking..."

"I do," he gently smiled at her. "Thank you, Miyazaki-san."

For a moment, Nodoka found herself imagining Negi saying that "I do" at a church, standing before her in a charming black suit, and she all but stumbled back into Yue's arms, barely holding herself together.

Someone tapped Haruna on the shoulder. Smiling widely, she turned. "What is it, Chisame-chan?" she asked, waggling her eyebrows.

An oddly smelling, oddly bubbling mustard and whipped cream-stained sandwich was mashed into her face, followed by an apron smacking her in said-face with all the force a near-hikikomori hacker could muster, which was still pretty damned respectable. "You owe us a new apron," Chisame said coldly, stomping off as people stared.

Haruna nonchalantly took off the apron and speared a finger through the mess on her face, putting it in her mouth. "Hm… kinda reminds me of Akane's cooking," she said, before turning around and running for the wastebasket to hurl.

Asuna huffed indifferently from her seat before taking a look at the box hidden under it. Why to waste effort on such a tadpole when a much bigger prize waited ahead? Oh, Takahata-sensei... She'd confess her true feelings today, no matter what...

"And here's mine!" Misora put her gift on Negi's right hand, then pulled Cocone towards the other hand, the dark skinned child hesitating for a single second before handing him a box of her own as well.

_"Mine, too,"_ she whispered.

"Thanks a lot, Cocone-san. But please, don't be late for your classes," Negi said to her.

"I won't," she bowed, then left even as the 2-A students and Matoi gazed at her intently. A rival around his own age was something to worry about. What if they could, _gasp_, actually relate to each other?!

_"Your turn. Be confident,"_ Chizuru whispered to Natsumi as she gently pushed her forward from the back of the classroom.

"Y-Yes, of course..." Natsumi walked stiffly to hand her present over. "Umm, my mother's recipe... I'm not that good at it yet, but..."

"Oh, thanks, Murakami-san."

Evangeline dozed off indolently as Chachamaru took the next turn, then Ku Fei and Kaede. Chisame sat down and shook her head, incidentally noticing Misa, Sakurako and Madoka were making no moves. "How about you three?" she asked.

"I'll be waiting for the end of the class. Much better that way, " Misa confidently stated, giving Chisame pause for concern. Now what was she up to?

"Yeah, me too," Sakurako agreed.

"I don't think it'd be right for me to overload Sensei with even more chocolate," Madoka chuckled. "He's going to eat so much, he'll end up hating it."

Chisame couldn't help but nod. "Pretty much. Oh no, Iinchou's next. By the way Sakurako, before Hakase gets to your dorm, hide your aprons, and any mustard and whipped cream you might have…"

Ayaka was laughing charmingly and blushing as a red rose as she placed her chocolate box on the top of the box hill Negi was carrying. "Sensei, I made them especially for you with nothing but the best ingredients! I know you will be able to literally taste the love put into them!"

It was a lie, since Siesta had finally convinced her to let her make the chocolates herself, but in Ayaka's mind, a good servant was practically an extension of her master anyway.

She only hoped the tips she had given Siesta in turn would work.

* * *

><p>After class, the usual bunch had stayed for the review sessions; Asuna, Ku Fei, Kaede, Yue and Makie, with Negi teaching, Chisame staying at her corner surfing in her laptop, and Nodoka and Haruna waiting for Yue. Hakase was finishing gathering her notes and other belongings to head back home, looking disappointed by her current lack of lab activities, so Sakurako decided to hurry up and give her the chocolate before she was gone. For some reason, she was never allowed into the laboratory by Hakase's club-mates (something about radioactive safety measures, not allowing the talking lab mice to escape and take over the world, and million to one random accidents involving chemicals and lightning strikes or something like that), so she had to take her chances while she had them.<p>

"Um, um, Satomi-chan!" she approached her nervously, ignoring how everyone else's eyes were fixed on her. She decided she didn't care, and just handed the package to a blinking Hakase. "H-Here! I made it myself! I'm not the best cook, but—! But—!"

She paused, briefly looking back at Misa and Madoka for support. Both cheerleaders smiled reassuringly, and Sakurako felt like continuing, "Anyway, I'm sure it's alright! I paid attention to every last detail while making it!"

Asuna just stared on with curiosity. Kaede smiled in a placid way. Ku Fei and Makie giggled, sharing a brief knowing look. Chisame stopped her chat for a moment, paying close attention. Negi smiled in a good-natured way, fascinated at the friendly ways of Chocolate Day and how it brought people together. Yue simply drank from her potato-and-herb-with-tomato-and-gravy juice with a complete lack of expression. Nodoka blushed as Haruna stared and stared with huge, bright, expectant eyes.

Finally, Satomi simply smiled at Shiina and nodded. "I'm very thankful. Sorry I didn't bring any for you, but... eh..." She looked at Haruna, then at Chisame, trying to read their respective expressions and guessing what to do next from them, "I'll give you something else later! Shall we share a few, then? Chisame, Sensei, do you want some too?"

"We already have too much chocolate in our hands," Chisame reached over to pat the huge pile of boxes left for Negi. "You two enjoy those yourselves."

"Yeah, I agree!" Misa enthused.

"Definitely," Madoka added.

"You... Are you sure?" Satomi looked first at Chisame, then at Negi, dubiously looking for something she wasn't even too sure about herself before saying, "Very well, if you're fully okay with it..."

"You also had something to ask her about the latest Math lessons, didn't you, Sakurako?" Misa asked. "I think you should do it... ahh... somewhere else, where you can... ask in private, and not get anything confused with the classes Sensei's giving."

"O-Okay!" Shiina smirked, hoping her nerves weren't too evident. Only Negi hadn't noticed them, however. She grabbed Satomi by a hand. "Um, your dorm, or mine?"

"Not ours!" Chisame shouted suddenly, before considering Sakurako was less likely to overstep the boundaries of decency at someone else's room. Or so she hoped. "Um, I mean, sorry! Actually, I'd suggest our dorm! I forgot we had cleaned up yesterday! Hakase has more study material there, so it'd be for the best..." she trailed off.

"Naturally," Satomi gave a nod. "Well then, let's be on our way, Sakurako-san."

"Y-Yeah!" the cheerleader waved to her friends. "I'll see you tonight!"

"Bye!" Madoka waved back.

"Take your time!" Misa chuckled, right before Madoka elbowed her stomach.

The rest of the students also said goodbye as Chisame watched them departing with some concern. She actually hoped Hakase would know where to draw the line.

She didn't place put much faith on it, however.

"Well, I should be going, too," Madoka picked her things up and quickly hopped for the door. "Good luck with, uh, that thing, Misa."

"Good luck with your 'thing' too, Madoka," Misa chuckled as Kugimiya left. Chisame was mildly surprised the third cheerleader hadn't made any moves on anyone. Good to see someone else still kept an ounce of common sense.

Misa, on the other hand...

"Aaaaand here's my chocolate, Sensei!" Kakizaki grinned while placing her package on Negi's hands. "The best is always left for last!" She pried the box open and held up a piece of chocolate, moving to put it into the boy's mouth while he was still looking only at her. The very next moment, she was sure, it was going to be her big victory in front of Chisame, Haruna, Nodoka and the Baka Rangers! It didn't get any better than that! "Open wide and say 'Ahhhhhhh'!"

But then a hand swooped by between them and snatched the chocolate away. Misa stared in paralyzed terror as Chisame scooped up the chocolate and put it into her own mouth, quickly swallowing it almost whole.

The hacker smiled at her in a condescending, dryly mocking way. "Oh, sorry. But Sensei's already eaten too much chocolate for a day. That's what you get from waiting so long to make your big scene!"

Misa back-pedalled in terror. Chisame had just eaten the damn thing! And she was looking at her! She would fall in love with her for sure! Oh, no. Oh, no no no no...

And then, suddenly, she found herself asking herself if that was such a hideous thing, really.

She drank in the cute, even if pimply, features of Hasegawa's fair skinned (actually rather pimply, but Love Vision Conquers It All) face, her deep, beautiful light brown eyes, her clean brown hair, the faint scent of the cologne on her body. The way her round shiny glasses complemented her face so well, giving her such a mature appearance. Her slender and modest, but perfectly proportioned figure. Her cute, perky little ass, her nice, firm breasts…

Misa's heart started beating faster.

Asuna noticed there was something wrong with the cheerleader's sudden silence, and then saw Misa was not the only one. Haruna was breathing faster and faster, slightly leaning ahead to take a better look at Chisame, looking like she was on the edge of an orgasm. Nodoka was blushing so crimson it almost became black, taking short, flustered pants. Yue's straw had fallen off her mouth, as her eyes grew wide, zeroing onto Chisame's backside. Makie was making small cooing sounds. Kaede had actually opened her eyes. Ku looked like a tiger about to pounce on its prey.

"Guys...?" Asuna asked with some irked concern. "Something wrong...?"

"No..." Nodoka's reply came in a husky new pant.

"There is nothing wrong with Chisame at all..." Haruna spoke in a spaced out tone, unconsciously fidgeting to start unbuttoning her own blouse.

"All of you is so... wonderful, Chisame..." Makie was swooning in delight. "I really was an idiot, never noticing before..."

"What? What?" Chisame blinked several times, taking a step back towards Negi as all the other girls but the perplexed Asuna began surrounding her. "Hey, this isn't funny! Sensei! Tell them to stop!"

"Stop..." Negi's voice warned, with a slight hint of an edge to it.

"Oh, thank you, I'm sure that'll be very..." Chisame gasped aloud as she felt small arms encircling her from behind, possessively squeezing her against him.

**"CHISAME IS MINE! ALL MINE!"**

Then Asuna knew IT HAD TO be that damn magic at work again.

* * *

><p><em>Urahara's Shop:<em>

"Urahara-dono..." Tessai said while finishing the inventory of new items.

"Yes?" his boss was lazily fanning himself at a corner.

"It would seem you gave Sakurako-dono and her friends the wrong potion by mistake. It wasn't the one who makes the swallower to fall in love with the first person they see. It's the one who makes everyone to fall in love with the swallower upon first sight."

Urahara fell into a long, ominous silence before breaking into careless laughter.

"AHH, HA HA HA HA! Well, never mind! The girls will learn their lesson anyway, one way or another!"

Tessai shook his head. "Sometimes, I do wonder if I shouldn't have taken Yuuko-dono's offer to work at her shop instead. I heard Enma Ai needed a new webmaster…"

* * *

><p>Madoka warily approached the closed door, then stuck her right ear to it, attempting to learn if there was someone inside. She couldn't hear any shouting or loud scolding, so she was fairly sure that club's president, at the very least, wasn't there.<p>

The 2-A student drew in a deep breath and rapped her knuckles against the door.

"Come in," his dry, manly voice came from the inside. Madoka's heart skipped just a bit. She pushed the door open and peeked inside.

He was sitting behind a computer with a neutral expression on, typing on it while barely looking at her. The girl with glasses and short gray hair sat a nearby corner, carefully reading through a book that Nodoka herself would have deemed too thick. Well, probably not. She slowly tilted her cold, tranquil eyes onto Madoka's direction, and although they bore no malice or ill will at all, something in them still made Kugimiya want to shiver.

"H-Hello, Nagato-sempai," she said.

"Hello," the other girl replied, then went back to reading.

"Good afternoon," the tall brown haired boy calmly lifted his gaze from his computer screen. "Can we do something for you? If Suzumiya sent you, I have good excuses ready for you, but please leave before she comes. For your own good, mind you. If she ever settles you here, you'll never have a way out..."

"N-No, she didn't sent me!" Madoka vigorously shook her head. "I came of my own will!"

The boy looked at her in mild stupor for a moment before asking, "Are you new around here? No, you're from 2-A, aren't you? Shouldn't you know better? No one in their right mind comes here of their own will! Again, no offense." He calmed down a bit, wondering both if he had just stuck his foot into his mouth and if a 2-A student could have common sense anyway. Everyone said they weren't as bad as Suzumiya, but still…

"I'm just passing by," Kugimiya kept her face low. "Um, I, I know you don't know me well, Kyon-sempai, but—"

"Oh, my name isn't Kyon," he attempted to explain. "Actually, I'm named—"

"It doesn't matter!" she quickly waved it off, blushing as she pulled her chocolate box out and pushed it towards him. "I... I simply wanted to give you this! Please don't take it the wrong way! I don't want to force you into anything, I just wanted to tell you I'm fond of... of... your responsibility and maturity!" she blurted out.

Kyon blinked, going a few notches of pale, his mouth slightly hanging open for once. From her corner, Nagato-sempai lifted her eyes back the book, quietly pushed up her glasses, and continued reading.

"I... I am..." he hesitated, "... Honored. Thanks. Hmmm..." He decided sending her out right then would be rude. "Would you like to sit down and chat for a while? Haruhi's still at the baths with Asahina-san, and for some reason they really take a lot of time when they're there. And Itsuki's running some kind of errand right now, and..."

Madoka doubted as well, but ended up smiling and nodding. "Thank you." She looked at the other girl. "Nagato-sempai? Do you want some chocolate as well?"

The bespectacled girl paused in her reading. A few eternal silent seconds passed before she nodded and dragged her chair next to Kyon's and the one Madoka had just sat down at.

As Madoka started distributing the chocolates around, she couldn't help but thinking she had made the right decision on rejecting the potion.

She only wondered how were Sakurako and Misa faring...

* * *

><p>Tsunetsuki Matoi fumed angrily as she stormed her way down the hall heading back towards 2-A. Stupid Itoshiki-sensei, forcing her to go back to take his stupid boring angsty classes, away from her beloved Negi-sensei. Ah, Negi-sensei! She barely could wait to see him again, to enjoy his warm kind smile, to drink on the sight of his petite, thin frame, to listen to his melodical voice...<p>

She hurried up even more. The classroom's door was in sight now. And there were loud sounds coming from the inside. Ah! Were those harpies forcing themselves upon her beloved prince of magic? That was her big chance to impress him, saving him from their filthy kouhai clutches!

"Wait for me, Sensei! I'll help you!"

"SOMEONE HELP ME!" Hasegawa Chisame stormed out of the classroom, her clothes in disarray, her glasses almost falling off her face, shaking Kaede off herself with surprising strength born of desperation before running like hell for dear life down the hall...

... and soon stumbling straight into Matoi, sending them both falling to the floor with a heavy thud.

Tsunetsuki-sempai quickly pushed her off herself, growling in annoyance. "HEY! Why are you attacking me now? Stupid pimply freak, just because you room with Negi-sensei, you can't—"

"S-Sorry," Hasegawa gasped, getting up fast. "But I can't stop to explain. I'm being pursued by—!" Then she saw Matoi's eyes had just widened to an impossibly gigantic size. "Oh, no. Not you too!"

Matoi's stare began to make that unnerving unexplainable sound.

_Jiiiiiiiii..._

"Get away from me!" Chisame took two very fast steps back.

"I... I... I'm so sorry!" Matoi broke out, in a fascinated, feverish eager tone. "I'm such a real bitch at times! I must make up for treating such you so harshly, Chisame-sama! It's not your fault you're living with Negi-sensei. It was destiny that brought you two together! You make such a beautiful couple! Oh, Chisameeeee-samaaaaaaaa!" she exclaimed, throwing herself at Hasegawa's feet and hugging her legs, causing her to yipe. "Let me be the eternal guardian of our, I mean, your love! I'll stand over your honeymoon bed all the way to your death! Unless you graciously decide to let me in too, and in that case, I'll be even more—"

"HANDS OFF HER, YOU OLD HAG!" Makie made an impressive Dynamic Entry, jumping in with a flying kick straight into her face, sending her rolling several feet away from her prey. "Chisame-chan only belongs to Negi-kun and me! Like an out of shape, blocky-bodied, gray, boyish Yandere like you would have a chance against a cutie like me!" she proudly patted herself on the hips, thrusting her butt out.

Kaede appeared out of nowhere behind her and gave her a not-so-playful-kinda-rough slap on the back of the head. "Sorry, Makie-dono, but no. You still lack the most basic thing a woman needs to earn love-de gozaru..."

Makie sniffed a few pained tears back, rubbing the bump being born on her head. "... Money?"

"Breasts," Kaede smiled sultrily, scooping Chisame up with an arm and pulling her between her large mounds before she could break free, keeping her firmly grabbed in place. "Ahhhhh, Chisame-dono... Allow this humble one to be your lowly, faithful retainer...!"

"Can't... breathe, you idiot...!" Chisame began kicking against her.

Haruna grabbed her by another arm and tugged her toward herself and the other librarians. "Back off, Nagase! We're her next door neighbors, and we've got the advantage in numbers!"

"Love is being stupid together," Yue quoted Paul Valery, "And no one's more stupid than Baka Black!"

"Baka Pink is even more stupid!" Makie shrieked.

"Boys are dumber than women, so I'm the most stupid one here," Negi gracefully yanked Chisame away from Haruna's grip, hugging her against himself with a natural lover's attitude and posing such that Hasegawa blushed and sweated bullets. "I'll never renounce to her warm loving body in my bed... or vice-versa!"

At these words, Nodoka urgently pressed a handkerchief against her nose for some reason. Matoi fainted down with a delirious coo. Haruna's jaw hung open wide, drool leaking out of one of its corners. Yue's face became several shades of red. Makie pressed her fists against her chest as if preventing her heart from bursting out free and flying to the Moon. Kaede chuckled lecherously. Misa panted, her fingers tapping over the pocket where she kept her Pactio card.

Ku Fei, on the other hand, was more practical. She quickly tore her shirt off, revealing her simple white bra, and breathed heavily, her emerald eyes shining like supernovas.

"First come, first served-aru!" she announced, and then leaped ahead.

"A dinner of two dishes!" Haruna raced for Negi and Chisame as well.

"Chisame, Sensei!" Yue joined the charge. "As Iris Murdoch said, we only can learn to love by loving!"

"For the Miroku ninja clan!" Kaede cried, tugging at her own clothes.

"What! What? What. What. What?" Chisame repeated, with her mind pretty much broken, as the girls zoomed toward her and her whole life began to flash before her eyes... right before Asuna passed by, running, and pulled her along by a hand and off Negi's arms, running past everyone else, stampeding over Makie and Matoi and elbowing the surprised Kaede out her way to get her out of the path.

"GAH!" Ku Fei was startled. "Asuna no want to share!"

"AFTER THEM!" Negi aimed with his staff.

"Yes, Sensei!" his students chorused, and the chase was on.

Chisame began to regain her mind and senses as Asuna dragged her along with herself. "Kuh-Kagurazaka! You aren't planning to take me to some private place where you can overpower me and make me yours, are you?"

Asuna growled. "You're a pathetic, no-life, ungrateful geek, and I'm only saving you because of pity!"

Chisame sighed with relief. "Thank God! You're SANE!"

"And you'll never have another chance to get laid in your life after this!" Asuna added.

"... Okay, I believe you. You aren't in sudden love with me. You don't need to—"

"And you look like a dork with those giant-ass glasses! And you're rude, and standoffish, and—"

"Okay, Kagurazaka, I told you I got it!"

"And boring, and selfish, and stubborn, and—!"

"LESS TALKING MORE RUNNING, KAGURAZAKA!"

* * *

><p>Chisame wasn't wishing for their pursuers to catch up to them, God forbid it, but she still couldn't help but wondering how could Asuna have left them all behind, especially Kaede and Ku, so long behind and so easily while dragging her (the much slower her) around.<p>

Maybe Kagurazaka was just that fast. Chisame knew she was almost as good a runner as Misora.

Maybe their chasers were simply too busy stumbling onto each other in their drunken lustftul stupor, or maybe they had started fighting each other over first dibs on her panties.

Whatever the case was, Chisame wasn't going to complain, though she _would _much later.

She briefly asked herself if some deity was finally smiling down at her from above, but she quickly discarded the silly idea.

High, high in the Yggdrasil command centre, Skuld scowled, taking a good look at her screens and the readers of brain activity showcasing the scene.

"Sheesh, humans..." she muttered."Try to be nice with them, and that's how they repay you..."

The young goddess turned Chisame's good luck dial down. She briefly eyed the d100, debating whether to roll something from the random encounter table, but decided that was too much.

Asuna still was running with the same energy, but Chisame was getting mighty tired from just having to move her feet behind her. "Can't... Can't we stop and hide somewhere to rest a bit?" she panted. "I... I think I can get home from there by myself, thanks..."

"Are you really thinking of going back home after this? That's the first place they'll look!" Asuna told her. "No, we gotta keep you out of there until we figure what's going on. Until then, let's see, let's see..." she rummaged through her bonafide Baka Ranger brain for a good answer. Since this was a Baka Ranger brain, it started to overheat very quickly, chupacabras flashing error messages...

She had to screech to a halt as a fresh off-the-bath Chachamaru walked out of the communal baths, carrying a few neatly folded towels and washing items between her hands. "Chachamaru!" Asuna gasped. "What are you doing here?"

"I was helping the Master wash her hair and back, but it's time to feed the kittens, so she allowed me to go. Why, Kagurazaka-san?" she calmly asked back.

Asuna pushed the terrified Chisame ahead. "Are you in love with her?"

Chachamaru paused, checked her audio sensors for any irregularities, checked on her recent memory data banks to verify the question again, and only then finally asked in turn, her tone betraying the slightest puzzlement, "Pardon me?"

"Do you find her attractive?" the red haired girl inquired.

"She meets the basic standard social requirements of feminine appeal, even surpassing them comfortably in several areas," the gynoid analyzed, as if reporting the weather. "Although her facial skin condition is lacking, and her average public presentation in regard to clothes is severely deficient, not to mention her lack of a breast size, her overall figure is aesthetically pleasing, with a particular emphasis on her callipygian."

"Meaning?" Asuna blinked.

"She has a nice ass," Chachamaru stoically translated. Chisame choked on her own saliva.

"But you aren't in love with her, are you?" Asuna insisted.

"Negative. Kagurazaka-san, in case you two are in an established relationship, let me assure you I pose no danger to it. As for Hakase-san, while they do sleep together, often bathe together and share a common interest in a third party, I feel I can vouch for her—"

"Spoken like the Prof's daughter, yeah," Asuna waved a hand. "Thanks, Chachamaru. You can go now."

"Naturally," the green haired girl bowed very politely and left. Since she was a nice person, she didn't need to resist the urge to conceive the 0th law of robotics since she didn't get it in the first place, but it was a close thing.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!" a red faced Chisame yelled, forgetting the need to remain quiet.

"Just checkin', checkin'!" Asuna gestured for her to calm down. "Chachamaru isn't affected by that, and neither was I, so I think it's safe to say whatever magic made the girls and the brat fall in love with you lost its effect. With that in mind, I say we should hide at the baths. You never go in there, so they'll never think of looking for you there, will they? Plus, you always can hide among the crowd!"

"But Chachamaru is a robot! Of course she'd be immune! I think..."

"Geez, do you think _I'm _a robot, too?!"

"Obviously not, but—"

Then they heard lively steps coming down the hall, and a few voices calling for her.

"Chisameeeeeeee!" Makie sing-sang.

"My love, where are you...!" Yue invited.

"Chisame, I need to give you a few anatomy lessons...!" Negi sounded far, far less innocent than usual.

Chisame's teeth clattered. "Drat! Ayase sounds scary as hell when she's CHEERFUL! Okay!" She grabbed Asuna by an arm and ducked into the bath with her. "You win!"

* * *

><p>Chisame, feeling justifiably paranoid by that time, had at first wondered again if Asuna really had no perverted designs of her own while they started to undress for the baths, but as she looked at her out of the corner of an eye, she saw, much to her relief, Kagurazaka was paying no attention to her or attempting to steal furtive lusty glances. The fact Asuna also had a damn fine ass of her own, with firm, round and jutting cheeks that sprang into Chisame's view as the redhead pulled her panties down, also registered in her mind, but she quickly decided to push that thought aside.<p>

"Come on," Asuna finally smiled at her once they were naked, offering a hand to her. "I'm sure it'll be alright. I tell you, that effect must be over by now."

Chisame grumbled, wrapped a towel around herself, and walked by past her, ignoring the hand. "If it isn't, you'll pay for this," she promised.

Asuna shrugged and followed her, not bothering to cover herself, slinging her tower over a shoulder and walking out carelessly.

Chisame could feel... feel!... the curious gazes falling all over as she stiffly walked over to the water, reluctantly undoing her towel and sitting down next to Ayaka. She wasn't a small cute boy, so she figured she should have a better chance there than anywhere else.

"Hasegawa-san!" Ayaka blinked, truly amazed of seeing her there. "Now this is an unusual sight. Is your dorm's shower broken?"

"Yes, it is," Chisame nodded mechanically. She caught a glimpse of Zazie, sitting at Ayaka's other side, peering over Iinchou's shoulders to look at her, and a shudder ran down her spine.

"Ah," Ayaka lamely said. "Um, does that... mean Negi-sensei will be using the public baths too? Because..." her voice had difficulties now, as if she couldn't quite focus on her former train of thought. Ah, that was good. Standard Ayaka reaction to thoughts of Negi naked. "You could have brought him here... he's not old enough yet to be a ... Although, well... Seeing you here for once is... fine as well..."

Chisame cringed. They were all directly looking at her now. Yuuna had stopped rubbing soap on herself– well, stopped soaping her leg anyway. Her soapy hand was still moving and where she was rubbing was getting a lot of attention. Akira had stopped swimming around (something she always did despite Iinchou's warnings against it) and now had her head out of the water, staring intently at her. Chisame was somehow reminded of a crocodile. Misora and Cocone nearly pushed each other out of the way to get a better view of her.

Ayaka had just stopped talking, and now had that dreamy, starry-eyed gaze she usually only used at Negi's cutest moments of daily helplessness. Then, without a warning, she grabbed Chisame's hands and pulled them to herself, forcing them to cup her breasts.

Asuna bit her tongue. Crap, she had been wrong after all. Whoops.

"Chisame-san..." Ayaka huskily purred. "I never noticed it before, but your beauty almost eclipses Negi-sensei's..."

Chisame yelped, frantically pulling her hands back. "S-S-Sorry! The water's way too hot! I feel bad, gotta go!"

Then she had to fall back on her butt, forced to sit by a giggling naked Konoka jumping onto her back, hugging her midsection with amazing strength for someone her size. "Silly Chi-chan! If the water's too hot, the solution is agitating it so it'll cool down! Come on, everyone, let's refresh Chi-chan down! You too, Set-chan!"

"M-Me?!" Setsuna weakly squeaked from the corner she was at. "But I... I possibly couldn't..."

Then she actually looked at the gorgeous scene unfolding before her eyes and lost all will to resist. She was at their side in a second. "Could I softly blow all over your, I mean, her skin? That might help her feel cooler..."

"That's a great idea, Set-chan!" Konoka giggled, beginning to gently blow all over Chisame's body, from her neck to her lower back, making her to squirm and tremble.

"KAGURAZAKA! HELP!"

* * *

><p>All the other classes gathered at the communal baths began to quickly surround 2-A's area, lured in by the sudden screams. Loud shouting was nothing new coming from 2-A, but the urgency and despair conveyed that time was still out of the usual, even for them.<p>

The crowd of girls stopped like a single woman, fascinated by the angelic vision in their midst. The most gorgeous girl ever was the target of 2-A's affections, with Konoka nearly piggybacking on her, nuzzling herself against her neck, while Sakurazaki softly blew all over her right arm, and Yukihiro Ayaka kissed up and down her left arm. Zazie Rainyday tried to kiss her right foot, despite the dreamy girl's repeated kicks to her head, and Murakami Natsumi had hugged her left leg and wasn't letting it go, rubbing her cheek against the knee. The rest of the class worshipped in a semi circle around them, struggling against each other to gain better access and views.

Asuna was trying to protest and yank the centre of attention away and to safety, but Mana easily kept her at arm's length while barely trying.

"Who is that... huh... appalling beauty in their midst, Yukino?" the Executive Secretary of the Student Council herself, Suzushiro Haruka, asked while attempting to hold on to something of her usual air of dignity.

"The correct word is 'appealing', Haruka-chan..." Yukino breathed huskily, barely able to focus enough on correcting her Sempai's habitual malaphorisms. "Oh, and so very appealing... so frail and defenseless in the face of perversity..."

"I concur..." Haruka nodded and rasped. "You there! Unhand that poor girl right now!"

Ayaka shot her a highly annoyed stare. "Suzushiro-sempai, your authority doesn't allow you to step into our class's private activities. As Class Rep for 2-A, I feel obliged to gently but firmly ask you to leave us to our own devices."

"In terms even you can understand, piss off," Yuuna snarled, possessively clutching herself to Chisame's front, making her to yipe as their breasts mashed together.

"What?! H-How dare you!" Haruka was now highly offended. "My duty is to protect all students, and that includes victims of lecherous ruffians like you!" she quickly stepped ahead and violently yanked the stunned Chisame away from her classmates, stepping back with her. She gently caressed her right cheek, "There, there, everything will be okay now. What was your name again...?"

"Hasegawa Chisame, Seat Number 25," Yukino helpfully supplied, discreetly slipping right behind Chisame, who cringed while feeling a soft small hand running uncomfortably down her back.

"What a gorgeous name," Haruka mused, vaguely thanking her private living encyclopedia with a nod.

"Hey, hands off our classmate, you jerks!" Kazumi growled.

"Yeah, who gave you the right to just waltz in and kidnap her away?" Yuuna fumed, her developing chest going up and down angrily.

"Help," Chisame weakly voiced, to no one in particular.

"See? She's asking for our help..." Satsuki pointed out.

"Not yours!" Chisame quickly regained her voice.

From another class, a tall and very pretty girl with long dark brown hair shouted, "How vulgar of you all, 2-A! Two demerits for each one of you! First you all but forget and ignore poor Hasegawa-sama, I mean, -san, for so long, and now you seek to ravish her when her beauty blooms in full force! Ecchi! Hentai! Followers of Over Master and Shadow Crystal Mage!" she remarked each insult with growing vigor, just as she stepped closer to Chisame, finally actually pushing Haruka out of the way and hugged Hasegawa against herself. "But rest assured I, Hall Monitor Kotegawa Yui, will never allow you to get away with it!"

"You're as bad as them!" Chisame struggled free, panting madly.

Mana grinned insanely, grabbing a nearby mop and twirling it around expertly, like a weapon. "Looks like we'll have to solve this by force... Shiho!" she called out.

"Right behind you, Oneesama!" her apprentice lined up, several wards of charged paper between her fingers.

"All fine with me!" Haruka would have rolled her sleeves up had she been wearing anything at all. As it was, Chisame tried to take advantage of their momentary distraction, but had her attempted escape cut very short when a tiny, thin and flat girl with her light brown hair made into pigtails appeared out of nowhere blocking her path. It was almost as if she had just teleported...

"Hasegawa-samaaaaaaaa!" the girl cried out with her very odd sounding voice, hugging her and burying her face against her navel, creepily licking it up and down. "Join Mikoto-Oneesama and me at the unending fields of womanly pleasures...!"

Angrily, another, almost as flat girl with very short and messy brown hair snatched Chisame away from her and towards herself. "Get lost, Kuroko! You know I have no interest in you, never have, never will!" She protectively hugged Chisame. "Calm down, Sempai. I'll protect you no matter what..."

"B-B-But Oneesama...!" the one named Kuroko whined.

"Who the hell are you?!" Chisame demanded to know, elbowing them aside and backing into the only available empty place... a corner. "S-S-S-Stay back, everyone! I warn you! Or I, I'll do something so hideous you'll talk about it for years!"

"Like what?" Naba Chizuru calmly asked.

"Yeah, like what, Chisame?" Kazumi inquired.

"Well, ah, I, umm, uhhhh—" she thought frantically. "I'll start giving dramatic readings of Stephenie Meyer books!"

Everyone stared at her in horror, and for a moment, Chisame thought she'd actually managed to disgust them enough to leave her alone.

Then she felt two pairs of arms firmly grabbing her from behind, and four small pointy and hard things poking against her back. Again, she shuddered, almost fainting when she felt the simultaneous breaths and whispers in each ear of hers.

"Don't struggle, Hasegawa Chisame..." Evangeline darkly, yet lovingly, cooed from her right side. "I'll be your Edward…"

"Or better yet, do it. It'll make the final reward that much sweeter," Suzumiya Haruhi-sempai asked with a malicious chuckle from her other side, Asahina Mikuru-sempai nervously breathing and out behind her, almost making a continued soft 'Boing, Boing' sound.

Chisame frantically tried to think for an exit, or at least a silver lining in the stark darkness of her situation.

The best she could come up was, at the very least, Class 2-F wasn't there now.

* * *

><p><em>Classroom 2-F:<em>

He looked at the empty chocolate box, then calmly stared at the happy looking brown skinned girl standing before him, who was licking the final few chocolatey spots off her lips. "Maria-san..." he started.

"¿Si, Señor?"

He fatherly ran a hand through her black hair. "Thank you. I was in dire needs for an empty box of this size and shape." He actually tried his damn best to sound sincere.

She smiled rather cutely. "Glad to be of help...!"

He hesitated. "So... Did you eat anything else for dinner?"

A shake of head. "No, Señor. Los chocolates son very expensive."

A sigh. "Sit over there. I'll buy you some takeout as soon as I finish with everyone else..."

* * *

><p>Sakurako's heart beat frantically as Hakase led her into her dorm. Satomi didn't seem to mind much, expertly walking among the pieces, half-done machines and oil spots littering the floor. "Forgive the place's current status, please. Chisame hasn't had too much time to clean lately. I've been thinking of bringing Chachamaru over to help with the chores, but Evangeline won't even hear about it..."<p>

"Ah-hah, sure," Sakurako barely paid any attention, being too busy staring nervously at her package of chocolates.

"Chamo-san! Chamo-san!" Hakase was calling, looking into the underwear drawers first, then everywhere else. "Huh, looks like he's gone for the whole afternoon again..."

"Negi-kun's pet?" the cheerleader asked.

"Yes. I figure he must be out... playing as usual."

Not too far, Chamo chuckled while pilfering Shizuna-sensei's newest set of undies. He was having the time of his life! All he had to do was avoiding getting carried away and staying out until nightfall. The nights weren't safe anymore. All sort of vigilante freaks were on the loose now...

Satomi sat down at the edge of her bed and patted the mattress next to her, inviting Sakurako to sit down as well, with a tranquil smile. After a moment of hesitation, the other girl silently obeyed. It was clear from Hakase's expression she was seeing nothing compromising or steamy about of the situation. She only wanted to sit down and talk, obviously. Well, and to eat chocolate.

"So, can we eat now?" she asked, extending a hand. "Chisame usually cooks something upon arriving, but there's no reason we can't have a snack beforehand."

"D-Do you mean the chocolates?" Sakurako asked.

"What else?" Satomi asked in turn. "Oh, you want to leave them for after the dinner? Shall I call Chao and order some buns instead, then?"

"No! No!" Sakurako waved a hand, struggling to let out a chuckle out. Madoka's recriminations had started to blare hard in her head. "The chocolates... will be okay."

She extended the package over to her with slightly trembling hands. As Hakase innocently accepted it and began to open it up, the feelings of doubt crept in much harder through the other girl. Madoka was right. That wasn't true love at all. It was manipulation, and a betrayal of Satomi's trust. Ahhhhh! But she looked so cute, taking the first piece in her small pale hands! And then slowly, oh so very slowly, taking it up towards her mouth! That little mouth, with its soft pink lips, which were almost engulfing the chocolate now! She possibly couldn't... possibly couldn't...

"NO!" Sakurako grabbed the chocolate at the last second, jerking it away from Hakase's mouth.

"Shii— Sakurako-chan?" the scientist was confused.

"I'm sorry, but I can't do it!" the cheerleader threw the package to the floor. "I should have listened to Madoka! Satomi, I did a horrible thing!"

"Come on, it couldn't be worse than my chocolate...!" Hakase laughed it off. "It came out so bad, I had to ask Satsuki for a batch for—"

"No, it's not that! I did something abominable! I-I put a potion a guy sold me into them! I-I-I was told that'd made you to fall into eternal love with me!"

"Seriously?" Satomi seemed much more curious than angry. "Intriguing. Is it some sort of aphrodisiac agent? I normally place little interest on chemistry, but recent events have—"

"You aren't furious at me?" Sakurako was in utter disbelief.

"Ah? Why?"

She couldn't be that dense, could she? And yet, that made her so much even _cuter_...

"I was about to drug you!" Shiina cried. "I was this close to taking advantage of you!"

"Oh. Yes. When you put it that way, it IS morally blameworthy, but they told me the same thing when I created that microscopic nanomachine civilization in a test box and then brought fiery—"

Sakurako's eyes swirled. "D-Don't you even care?!"

Hakase only patted her head. "I do. Don't ever do it again," she asked.

Shiina sniffed. "Is... Is that all you'll say?"

"You felt unsure about my feelings? It's okay. I'm used to people thinking I have no feelings. Once, I was even proud of it. Mind, from now on, I don't want you to think that ever again. But I guess it's also my fault, since I'm not as emotionally open as you'd probably hoped from our relationship."

Sakurako sweated hard. "Oh, no! It's all my fault! I was an idiot by wanting to go that fast! I took a terrible misstep, and I'm so lucky you're such an understanding—" She paused. "Satomi-chan... What are you doing?"

The other student had just picked the box up and pulled another chocolate out. "What I always do. Experimenting."

Sakurako yelped as she saw her swallowing the chocolate in a single gulp.

Hakase looked at her again and smiled. "Sakurako, it's okay. I'm sure this 'potion' is only a fake." Even after her adventures with Negi, old rational habits DID die hard. "But... even if it isn't, I wouldn't... ummmm... mind... falling in... love with you," she awkwardly confessed, looking down in shame. "And... And I really don't feel any different about it now, so I guess... if this concoction does really have an effect, then I was already in love with y—"

"Satomi," Sakurako's voice came as needy and husky now.

"Y-Yes?" the teen genius shyly looked up.

Sakurako's eyes were very different now. Full of a sudden revitalized zeal.

"Be mine, please!" she begged, and then tackled her into the bed.

* * *

><p><em>London:<em>

Jason Blood gave a dry, mildly curious look at his current protégé as he walked into the library, seeing her hunched over her laptop. Children of that age and their silly playthings.

"Contacting young Mr. Springfield, I assume?" he asked, blowing on his cup of black coffee and taking the first sip from it.

"Ah-hah," she grumbled, scowling, without looking back at him. "Kind of."

"Is it because—"

"IT'S NOT BECAUSE IT'S VALENTINE'S TODAY! LIKE I COULD EVER FEEL THAT KIND OF LOVE FOR THAT MORON! AND BESIDES, LIKE HE'D EVEN NOTICE ANYWAY!" she immediately exploded.

Even for a man who kept a former overlord of Hell secretly chained down inside of himself, she was scary at times. "... Well. I suppose that answers my question."

There was an angry sniff. "Every year the same thing..." she muttered. "Never understanding the idea behind the date. It made me so furious I had to bash them down on his head... What, did he expect for me to spell it out for him? He'd only get the wrong idea in any case! I only gave him the chocolates out of pity!"

"Obviously," Blood kept his namesake cold. "Then, did you finally convince him to get himself a 'Facebook' page?"

"Fat chance. But his useless ermine friend's got one. Just checking it out of boredom and seeing if I can get news on the big baby." She huffed. "Huh. The ermine's just given me a link. Says it's the page of one of Negi's roommates..."

Blood soon noticed his protege's choked gasps and looked over her shoulder, casually eyeing the images now filling her screen. "A lovely young lady, certainly..." he said in a completely detached voice. He was old and immortal, not _dead_.

"Negi's living with an Internet pornstar!" Anya despaired, her face wildly shifting back and forth between pure red and livid white.

"I wouldn't call it 'pornography'," Blood shrugged casually. "Not that you should be uttering such words anyway. But she's still fully dressed... well, not so much in this particular image, but... Huh, I can see some cause for your concerns, but still... Oh, Japanese laws in this regard must be laxer than I remembered. Last time I was at that country, I saw... Never mind, they have always been THAT bad... there was the one about the octopus…"

Anya's fingers clawed at the keyboard. "Negi's been sent to a country of moral debauchery under the wing of a succubus queen!"

"It could be worse," the demonologist helpfully offered. "I once tutored a boy who had been assigned to Thailand. Helping people at the slums. I swear, I had to hand him over to Constantine, he had been left that bad..."

"You aren't helping a whole lot, Mr. Blood."

* * *

><p>Satomi was in shock for a few moments as Sakurako crawled all over her, firmly wrapping herself around her body in a tight hug, kissing her face all over as her hands unbuttoned Hakase's shirt as quick as they could. For a moment she actually considered surrendering and experimenting with the no doubt curious and noteworthy results of that physical exploration. She could learn a few new things, first hand, on the subjects of physical sensation, and maybe even outfit Chachamaru with properly parallel responses as well. The worrying question of why would she do such a thing in the first place flew by past her, and even if she had stopped to think about them, she'd just have replied "For Science!"<p>

But as Shiina caressed her tummy with a hand and tugged her own shirt off with the other, Hakase remembered something. "W-Wait. Stop," she pleaded, gesturing up with a hand. "N-No. Not right now. Not like this. W-We aren't ready yet..."

"I am!" Sakurako panted, her face flushed. Then she asked with major disappointment, "Aren't you?"

"S-Sakurako! There's still so much you don't know about me! I have things I need to confess to before we take this relationship any further!"

The cheerleader went back to trying to strip her. "Good! Tell me all while I do this for you! It'll make it all so much kinkier!"

"Sakurako, that doesn't sound like you talking! You sound like... uhhh... Suzumiya-sempai! Or Haruna! Or Chamo-san!"

A brief confused pause at that last sentence. "The ermine?"

"Uh, n-never mind. What I mean is, you're scaring me, and I don't even get scared when the protoplasm is getting out of the test tube and starts making murderous faces at me!" she backed away, pulling her shirt back on. "And like I said, I still have many secrets I need to share with you before we can dream of considering ourselves a couple!"

"Then tell me!" she urged. "I'm willing to hear anything!"

"It's not that easy! They're private, very delicate secrets that also involve other people... I don't know if I should tell you without consulting them first..."

Sakurako recoiled with a sudden sense of dread, the genuine emotion actually managing to cut through the artificial haze. "Do... Do you mean... you already sleep with someone else?"

Hakase, being only actually familiar with the traditional, literal sense of 'sleeping with someone', gave her a puzzled look. "Yes... Yes, I do. But what does that have to do with—"

"Oh my God!" Sakurako gasped. "D-Do you sleep with Negi-kun?!"

"Yes... well, yes, I do. Lately, I've been sleeping with Chisame, too. I suppose Sensei's habits are rubbing off on me, because I end up sneaking into her bunk and then we—"

"The three of you?!" Shiina gawked.

"Yes."

"Every night?!"

A dumb smile. "It feels very good, actually. Warm and comfortable, like—"

Sakurako interrupted her again, hugging her once more. "I'LL COPE!"

"... What?"

"Negi-kun is very cute, after all! And if she prettied herself up, Chisame almost could look like Chiu-sama! Anything that makes you happy! All I'm asking for is to allow me move in here and do it with you! It's almost like asking nothing!" she rubbed herself up and down Hakase's front.

The scientist blinked without any clue. "Do you happen to suffer from nocturnal disturbances as well? I guess it can be done... All three of us slept with Chisame's older sister once, after all..."

Even in her drugged stupor, Shiina was shocked. "Chisame? With her sister?"

"Yes. Why?"

Sakurako thought long and hard about it before only shrugging her shoulders. "Kinky." A new hug. "Can we bring Misa too? She's dying for a shot at Negi-kun..."

"I don't think the bunk is quite big enough for five people... Plus, Chamo-san might die due to massive loss of blood through his nasal cavities..."

Then, a knock at the door. Sakurako didn't bother to cover her half-nudity as she ran for it. "Oh, it must be them! This is gonna be great!"

As she opened, however, she was disappointed to see one of Urahara-sama's employees standing there instead. Although the girl **was **cute in her own way... "Ururu-chan? What are you doing here?"

"Good afternoon," the black haired visitor with the huge, black, sad eyes bowed. "Who... which one of you ate the chocolate?"

"Um, I did," Hakase raised a hand. "Why?"

Ururu walked past Sakurako, holding a small bottle full with a green liquid up. "Antidote," she simply said.

Then she grabbed Hakase by the neck and forced the liquid down her throat without missing a beat.

* * *

><p>Chisame shuddered as she felt Eva and Haruhi's hands slowly running down her breasts, going lower and lower until they caressed her flat tummy and navel, and then finally going even lower, almost reaching for...<p>

"S-STOP!" she struggled free since they were too distracted by their lust to continue holding her as tightly. "THIS CAN'T GO ON!"

"Now what?" an annoyed Evangeline groaned.

"I-I ALREADY HAVE SOMEONE!" Chisame raced for the closest excuse at mind. "Sorry, everyone, b-but I can't betray that person!"

Mana looked at Shiho. "I told you she was involved that way with Negi-sensei. Pay up."

Her apprentice mumbled. "I don't have money on me right now. Or clothes, for that matter."

"It's not him!" Chisame blushed harder than ever.

"Then who is it?" Kazumi distrusted.

"I... I can't say it! It's a secret!" Chisame claimed.

"It sounds like a lie," Haruka opined.

"Yes, you can read it on her face..." Yukino nodded.

"It's me," a voice said from the back. Everyone turned around with varying degrees of shock to see the still naked Asuna there, crossing her arms before her breasts, looking down bashfully.

"No way," Konoka gasped. "Asuna! No wonder you had started to spend so long with her!"

"Yeah," Asuna grimly nodded, walking up to the stunned, pale Chisame and then whispering into her right ear what to the outsiders seemed to be a few sweet nothings. In truth, it was an angry _"Play along, you idiot! I'm your only hope of getting out of here with your virginity intact!"_

Hasegawa doubted, but hesitantly nodded. "Yes. Yes, it's true. Asuna and I have been... an item for some time now."

A mind-numbed collective silence fell all over the baths.

Yuuna's eyes were gigantic saucers for a second, but then she grinned and gave Asuna a giant thumbs up. "Congrats, Asuna! Whatta catch!"

"B-B-But Hasegawa-sama isn't an old man! It doesn't compute!" Ayaka sputtered. "Although she does act like a cranky old man at times... Is that enough?"

Evangeline's eyes narrowed viciously. "I'm still not believing it."

"Yeah," Haruhi scoffed. "I want to see an actual proof of it, myself."

"A kiss!" Fuuka said.

"Yes, yes! Kiss! Kiss!" Fumika bounced up and down in place.

Asuna and Chisame's faces twitched at random intervals. "K-K-Kiss...?-!-?" they chorused.

"A kiss between girlfriends isn't anything too extraordinary," Haruka scoffed.

"Yeah. Until we see it, I ain't buying it," Kuroko scowled deeply, hands on her narrow bare hips.

Asuna's left eyebrow quivered before she mechanically nodded and pulled the paralyzed anew Chisame into her arms, lowering her down a bit in a typical Latin Lover pose. Both girls stared at each other's eyes for a moment, as if asking themselves how to escape that. Then Asuna felt Chisame's soft, nearly intoxicating breath into her face, and only then the realization of being fully naked and holding another fully naked girl in her arms, about to kiss her, sank into her.

Perhaps it was the residual effect of the potion floating on Chisame's breath finally getting to Kagurazaka, but right then, she thought she never had seen anything that beautiful before.

Delicately, she placed her lips on Chisame's.

The whole crowd of bathing students gawked hard.

Chisame's eyes filled themselves with bitter tears of indignation, but as her breath flowed back into her through Asuna's kiss, which grew more passionate by the moment, the potion's effect hit her back a little, making her feel weak in the knees. She let herself go, kissing back in a way she hadn't tried with Negi before. She almost felt disappointed when Asuna broke the kiss, licking their mixed saliva off her lips, and only after did the guilt and shame over the event washed over her like icy water.

"So..." Asuna chuckled awkwardly for the whole crowd, "S-See? Told ya so. Well, we gotta girly pairing things to do elsewhere, like, umm, shopping and sex and stuff, so if you'll excuse us..." she quickly pulled a towel around her own body, another one around the frozen Chisame's, gathered their things up, and headed back for the door, pushing Hasegawa ahead of herself. "Sorry about breaking your hearts, but I'm sure you'll find your own special others! Bye!" She hurriedly closed the door behind them.

The girls left behind stared at the door with huge blank eyes.

"I'll... I'll never love again...!" Mikuru whined.

"Fumika! Consolation!" Fuuka bawled, throwing herself into her sister's arms.

"O-Oneechan, not here!" Fumika said, blushing furiously as she kept her depressed sister's mouth away from anyplace incriminating.

"Asuna-san, why must you take away all my sources of happiness!" Ayaka began to bite into her towel.

Then, however, the loud scream of a recovered Chisame came from the outside. "WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!-!-?-? WE'LL NEVER LIVE IT DOWN!"

"Lovers spat!" Misora's eyes sparkled.

"Our big chance," Cocone reverently breathed.

"Every woman for herself!" Haruhi madly dashed for the door.

Not wasting any time to bother about trivial mundane things like clothes in the pursuit for true love, everyone followed her without wasting a second.

* * *

><p><em>Yukihiro Manor:<em>

_"Where's Siesta? She should be here, too,"_ Fabiola Iglesias nervously whispered to Roberta as she and Taeko sat expectantly, waiting for Fubuki-san's announcement.

"Ojou-sama gave her the afternoon and evening free," the tall Colombian maid droned, sitting perfectly straight with her hands on her lap. Then her gaze briefly shifted to Taeko, betraying some annoyance as her busty bespectacled fellow maid giggled softly, her large eyes fixed on her newspaper. "Taeko-san, composure! What is so funny? Those bogus headlines about the vigilante freaks? You know things like that only happens in the US!"

"Ah, ah, sorry. I only was reading through the funny strips. Ah! Roberta-san, look at the horoscope! It says there's a good chance you may meet your true love today!" Taeko almost jumped in place with her usual childish glee.

"Ridiculous," the tallest maid scowled. "Have you been listening to Konoe-san's fervent rants on magic again?"

Seriously, Konoe-san was one of Ojou-sama's more tolerable classmates, but even so...

"What... what does it say about Ojou-sama's sign, in any case?" Roberta finally added, after a short moment of dry hesitation.

"Hmmmm," Taeko eyed the newspaper again, scowling a bit. "High probabilities of falling in unchecked lust with fellow of the same gender leading to nude Skinship Grope."

"Nonsense," Roberta and Fabiola agreed.

Fubuki-san walked in at last, clapping her hands to catch her attention. "Pay attention, please! I'll be brief, since this is a short snippet and we're taking too much time away from the main plot as it is."

"What?" Taeko blinked.

"No time for such explanations," the lead maid sternly insisted. "Anyway, I have gathered all of you here because we'll have a new assistant at the Manor for a while. Yukihiro-sama has appointed a financial consultant for Ojou-sama until she learns to control her investment impulses."

"You mean a guy who will control her so she won't buy any more jet airplanes, then paint them all over with Negi-sensei's face and stashing them away until it's time to give them as his birthday gifts?" Taeko asked.

Fubuki nodded. "In layman terms, yes. So, I'd like you all to give a warm welcome to Okajima Rokuro-sama"

That was the cue for a young looking, black haired, well dressed and shyly smiling Japanese office man to walk in, politely bowing to the maid team. "Good afternoon. I look forward to a healthy working relationship with you all while we perform our duties here..."

Roberta's face remained expressionless for a moment. Then it remained expressionless, but her eyebrows twitched a bit. It was still expressionless when she pulled a Glock out of her skirt and trained it on the newcomer's forehead. "You won't be my true love," she flatly declared.

"Gah! Gah, Gah, GAH?!" the Yukihiro Zaibatsu employee stammered in paralyzed terror.

Fubuki sighed. "Really, Roberta-san, you need to stop greeting our co-workers this way!"

* * *

><p><em>Classroom 2-F:<em>

Another sigh escaped Despair-sensei's lips as he accepted Kafuka's chocolates, then watching her happily skipping back to her seat. "I don't know how you can do this every year..."

"We don't. Last year we were taught by Jinroku-sensei, remember?" Manami asked. "And no offense to him, but he's... ahhhh..."

"An ugly old fart," Mayo whispered.

"Basically, yes," Manami nodded.

"I don't mean that," Itoshiki replied. "Don't you think it'd be for the best to celebrate this date once each four years?"

"Once each FOUR years?" Nami incredulously echoed.

"If it was that way, everyone would put more effort into it," the teacher mused. "It'd make the passion grow, just like with the Olympic Games or the Soccer World Cup!"

"That might be true, but..." Chiri doubted. "In four years, we wouldn't be studying under you anymore."

"I'll endure it," Nozomu deadpanned. "And not only that. Christmas should be once each four years as well!"

"Still haven't gotten over that incident with Kasuga-san at that party?" Kaere questioned. Upon being reminded of the rumored incident, Chiri briefly popped a vein up on her forehead, her eyes becoming deadly for half a second.

"Here, Sensei," Nami calmly offered him her package. "I know it's a bother, but accept it, please." As he opened the box, she blushed. "I know it's a bit badly done, but..."

"Don't worry. It's normal for a girl your age to be unskilled at this," he tried to sooth her down, only getting the opposite effect.

"DON'T CALL ME 'NORMAL'!" she cried.

Chiri looked over her shoulder at the gift. "What? Seriously, couldn't you do something better than that?"

Nami pouted. "I suppose you used a perfectly exact mold for yours..."

"Of course," Chiri proudly stated. "Accuracy and precision are key when you want to show you care about doing something." She placed her package on Nozomu's desk. "Here it is, Sensei. I made it all by myself!"

Itoshiki opened it, only to sweat and gulp at its content. A perfect, 1/1 scaled copy of an adult human heart sculpted in chocolate was there, displayed in disturbingly detailed fashion. You almost could hear it thumping.

"W-What is this?" the teacher babbled.

"You need to ask?" Chiri blinked. "That is... a heart. Didn't you know? I know it's not your specialty, but you should know the basics on human anatomy..."

"That's not the point!" Itoshiki protested.

"A real chocolate heart? It's far too exact!" Nami was aghast.

Harumi held a notebook up, showing him one of its pages. "She also draws hearts at letters and notes like this, too," the mangaka pointed at a little and also highly detailed pink heart at the end of a paragraph written with excellent, meticulous calligraphy. Nozomu gasped. Then the artist chuckled. "Do you want to see how she draws skulls? It's not for weak stomachs!"

"No, I'll trust your word on it, thanks," he politely declined.

* * *

><p>"This is all your fault, you know!" Asuna yelled while running as fast as she could, Misora almost catching up to her, and that was only because the other pursuers kept on getting on her way and her mind was too clouded by passion for thinking of using her Pactio.<p>

"Mine?!" Chisame shrieked as she was being pulled around by Asuna, barely being able to keep the pace up despite moving her feet like never before. "If you had just thought of anything else but smooching me, I wouldn't have had that natural, perfectly understandable reaction!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, if you hadn't eaten that damn chocolate in the first place, we wouldn't even be here!" Asuna shouted at her.

"Then Negi-sensei would have eaten it!" Chisame pointed out. "And he'd be the one chased around by lustful hordes! And he'd be in therapy for decades after! So I have no regrets!" A beat. "Except for kissing you."

"Right."

"And being fondled by Suzumiya and Eva," Hasegawa added.

"Right."

"And being forced to fondle Iinchou..."

"It sucks being you!" Asuna confirmed.

The crowd was gaining ground on them through the by now deserted halls of that wing of Mahora.

"Quick, Kasuga is almost grabbing her—!"

"She'll beat us all to it!"

"How can she go that fast? Dammit, I should have listened to Mom and joined an athletic club!"

"Yukino! What is your hand doing in my—"

"S-So sorry, Haruka-chan! I needed something to tide me over in the meantime!"

A few halls away, two high school boys lazily dragged their feet heading belatedly back to home after a few hours of detention.

"Takashi, this school sucks," the chubby short one with glasses groaned. "All those women around, I tell you, man, it's like being outnumbered 100 to 1 in a shootout. Fujimura-sensei puts you in detention only by mispronouncing her name, Takagi-san and her posse will not stop henpecking us..."

"Yeah," his tall, handsome friend nodded. "That's life, Hirano. Truth be told, at times I almost wish I had been to that military school Dad kept threatening me with..."

Then they saw two drop dead gorgeous girls passing running by, wearing only bath towels. The boys had not even finished swallowing hard when a huge group of girls in all different states of nudity and half-nudity, very few of them even bothering to fling clothes and towels over themselves as they ran, trampled all over them like antelopes stampeding over mice.

After they were gone as soon as they had appeared, and when the dust finally settled down, Hirano Kouta weakly lifted his head up from the floor. "Scratch that. I fucking love this school..."

Takashi nodded. "It has its moments, yeah..."

The crowd lost sight of their targets right after they doubled a corner.

"Huh?" Misora's gaze darted in all directions. "Where did they go?"

"That way, you idiots!" Evangeline pointed to a nearby window. "They escaped outside!"

"Oh my God!" Mikoto gasped. "They made a suicidal pact!"

"Itoshiki-sensei will be angry! That is his private spot!" Mikuru cried.

Just when they were about to rush for the window, however, a man came out of the nearest detention room, adjusting his glasses and then gasping in horror. The girls stared back, going pale with shock. The man's expression turned horribly angry to the point even Evangeline decided to stealthily slide away. Just to avoid annoying questions. Right.

"G-Good afternoon... Nitta-sensei..." Yuuna managed to squeak out.

The man's voice exploded like a volcano. "AKASHI! YOUR FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!"

"AIIIEEEE!" she shrilled. "No, don't tell Dad!"

Every last girl turned around and ran for life, spurred by the only primal emotion more powerful than lust. Panic.

"Even you, Kotegawa-kun! Suzushiro-kun! Yukihiro-san!" Niita waved a notebook around. "This will go into your records! And I'll tell Kiryuuin-sama!"

"Crap, they have evidence on me!" Haruka bolted. "My promising political career!"

"You'll never catch us alive, old creep!" Haruhi tucked Mikuru under an arm and ran like the wind.

As the screams slowly died down inside, Asuna warily peeked up from between the branches of the tree they had just jumped into, trying to look through the window. "Looks like Nitta got rid of them. Good..." she whispered.

"Good? GOOD? Nothing about this is good!" Chisame pointed down at their towels and bundles of clothes, which had fallen to the ground way under them. A sudden chilly breeze hit her in the bare behind, and she shuddered. "Take us down there right now, before anyone sees us!"

"Which one of you is Hasegawa Chisame?" a shy, mousy female voice called from a branch below. Chisame nearly jumped, looking down to see a little girl in a white dress, with black hair and huge, pitiful eyes, sitting on that branch, looking up straight at her... With a yelp, Chisame covered her unmentionables with a hand.

"Who... Who are you?" Asuna warily asked.

A bow. "My name's Ururu. I was sent by Urahara-sama, who sold Kakizaki-sama her love potion," she meekly explained. "It seems she took the wrong concoction..."

Asuna's face twitched. "Love potion. Misa. Of course...!"

"H-How did you know I took the potion? And how did you know where I was?" Chisame wanted to know.

Ururu dropped her head. "Trade secret. Sorry." She held a small bottle full with a green liquid up. "Here's an antidote. Do you wa—"

Sending all caution to the darkest and hottest hell, Chisame forcefully yanked the bottle away and drank it all in almost a single gulp.

Asuna looked at Ururu hopefully. "Then, no one will remember anything of what happened after this, right?"

The little girl blinked. "What… What do you mean? This is an antidote, not a memory eraser..."

Both Chisame and Asuna froze in horror.

"The affected subjects will probably be confused about what they did, and most likely will try to act as if nothing had happened, knowing human nature, but they should retain most memories of the time they were under the influence..."

Asuna and Chisame had started bashing their heads against the trunk.

"Ummm... aren't you cold?" Ururu asked. "I could go fetch your clothes for you, if you want..."

* * *

><p><em>The Next Morning:<em>

Satomi's words barely registered in Chisame's troubled mind as they walked towards the school.

"— and that's why I think we should tell Sakurako about our usage of magic," the scientist was saying. "I mean, she has just been given proof of the existence of magical potions, her best friend already is on our secret, and I know we can trust her..."

"I'm still not too sure..." Negi sulked, trying to leave his memories of his improper behavior the day before behind. "This is something not to be taken lightly, Satomi-san. Getting inducted into the world of magic is a huge step for anyone..."

Chisame groaned while opening her locker, and cringed at the avalanche of love letters pouring out of it. Hakase adjusted her glasses to give it a better look. "Oh my. Looks like the old adage proves being true. Where there was fire, there's smoke..."

"Shut up!" Chisame clenched her teeth.

As they walked into the classroom, she could feel everyone but Madoka, Chao and Chachamaru's gazes falling awkwardly on her. Even Iinchou hesitated for a moment before greeting Negi in her usual cheerful way. It was as if everyone tried to pretend nothing at all had happened, not even daring to look into the reasons of their prior acts, but badly.

"What's the problem with everyone today?" Madoka asked to no one in particular and yet for anyone who wanted to answer. No one did.

Chisame sat down looking more miserable than ever, then shuddered as she felt THOSE EYES nailed on her back. From the seat right behind her, Tsunetsuki Matoi stared.

_Jiiiiiii..._

"SENSEI!" Chisame roared. "TAKE THIS GIRL BACK TO HER OWN CLASSROOM!"

Asuna noticed Misa's seat was empty. "So, why isn't she here today?"

"She asked for a free day," Sakurako told her. "She said she had urgent matters to attend to."

Asuna slammed her right fist on her left palm. "Pity. I had things I wanted to discuss with her, too. And her chocolate?"

"Someone took it away after you guys left, it seems," Shiina replied. "I only hope it doesn't cause more problems..."

* * *

><p>Elsewhere, Nitta-sensei scowled, carrying the chocolate box he had found at Classroom 2-A after the incident with the students was solved. Solved for now, that was. He would get to the bottom of it, even if the Dean told him to overlook it. He also was annoyed students left their trash around like that. If they didn't want the chocolate, they always could give it to someone else.<p>

Before entering the Dean's office, he looked down at the package.

He hadn't received Valentine chocolates in years.

His stomach grumbled. He hadn't taken a proper breakfast that morning, busy as he was with the incident's paperwork.

He figured it wouldn't hurt to eat a few of those chocolates.

Moments later, he entered the office. "Good morning, Headmaster-sensei! Regarding the events of yesterday's shameful student escapade, I have my report on it ready!" he barked like a well disciplined soldier.

The old man lifted his tired gaze from what he was writing. "Oh? Oh, hum, sure. Come closer and let me examine it, mind, Nitta-kun? I..." Then he paused, giving the younger man a better look.

"Something wrong, Headmaster-sensei?"

A brief cough. "... No. Nothing wrong. Take a seat, please."

Nitta obeyed as the old man casually walked to the door and locked it down.

The teacher squirmed in his chair for some reason. "Headmaster-sensei...? I don't intend to sound rude, but... why are you..." His face suddenly changed to utter panic mode. "... Taking your shirt off?!"

Two seconds later, there was a Nitta-shaped hole in the door.

He would later run into Shizuna-sensei… and Fuijimura-sensei… and Yukari-sensei… and Jinroku-sensei… and Mido-sensei… and–

* * *

><p><em><strong>Epilogue.<strong>_

Urahara was fanning himself and reading through an old travel guide to Soul Society when he heard the store's backdoor being kicked open. He carelessly looked up to see the purple haired girl standing at the doorstep, panting furiously, a set of glowing needles between each finger.

"Ah, good morning, Kakizaki-chan! Fancy seeing you back here so soon!" the fan nervously flapped over his face. "And that's quite a pretty dress you have there! A bit old fashioned for you, but still lovely. But shouldn't you be at school today?"

"SCHOOL'S OUT!" she roared while charging ahead.

Sitting right out of the door eating ice-cream, Jinta, Ururu and Tessai remained motionless as the screams began pouring out from the inside.

"Maybe we should help him?" Ururu shyly posed the question.

"You already did more than enough yesterday," Tessai sagely told her. "Let Urahara-dono to fight his own battles."

"This is why I'll never fall in love," the red haired boy nodded and took another mouthful of ice-cream.

* * *

><p>Siesta's date with Hiraga Saito went wonderfully, by the way.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	14. Baka Rangers

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts<strong>.

With credits (again) to proofreader/co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>Baka Rangers<strong>.

* * *

><p>"Attention, everyone!" Negi called out as another day of classes started. "As you all know, the finals are just around the corner, so today we'll be having a big study session!"<p>

Several groans and expressions of annoyance came from all corners of 2-A until Ayaka shut them all down with a few rounds of murderous glares (most Iinchou's have this as part of their basic power set. It is tangentially related to how cool their hair is. If you have suck hair, you lack this power).

"As a matter of fact, I've been told if you don't all pass the final test, we will be facing dire consequences," Negi stressed, since basically all his other attempts to get the class get serious about studying had failed miserably. He really should have known better, but they, he was an eternal optimist.

"What kind of dire consequences, Negi-sensei?" Kazumi asked.

"Uh..." he squirmed."I'm not authorized to reveal that yet..."

Chisame arched an eyebrow. She recognized that attitude of his. It was the one he always put on while trying to hide something horribly awful.

"Anyway, regardless of the reason, let's all do our best at studying and ace that test!" the pint sized teacher energetically instructed. "After all, it will have a great impact on your future!" The class didn't look impressed. Negi tried frantically for a reason, and against all odds found one that would work. "After all, if you fail, 2-F will mock you relentlessly!"

This caused an instant reaction and uproar, not to mention a few more glares at Matoi, who ignored it.

"Said with all the presence of a true leader, Sensei!" Ayaka clapped.

From the seat right behind Chisame's, Tsunetsuki Matoi shrugged. "I'm sure I'll pass your test with flying colors..."

"You should!" the current target of her stalking grumbled. "You're supposed to be two courses above us!"

"Hey, hey!" Sakurako lifted a hand up. "I have a suggestion! We can play the game we always use to spur ourselves to study!"

Ayaka, Natsumi, Asuna and a few others tensed up in red alert.

"And that would be, Shiina-san...?" he asked.

"We call it 'Baseball Janken'!" Haruna interrupted cheerfully. "They used to play it at Mom and Dad's school, too. It's a simple game where you're punished by failing questions, so you'd better try your best to answer correctly."

"It sounds fun and educational," the boy approved with a smile and a nod. "Go for it!"

"Wait! No! There's something you must know about—!" Ayaka began, but her voice was drowned down by the party exclamations coming from almost everyone else.

Asuna had begun to dash for the door, but Misora caught her and dragged her back with Chizuru's help. "And where do you think you're going?" Kasuga asked. "You're the star player, remember?"

"Judas! Backstabber! Traitor! I'll give you baseball!" Asuna threatened, thrashing so angrily Kaede had to join the restraining efforts. "Gimme a bat and I'll go Barry Bonds on your flat butt! And you, Kaede?-! You know you'll suffer, too!"

Negi smiled at his students' antics while checking their chart of recent academic performance. Almost everyone should have been able to pass the test, although it was hard to say with Zazie, Evangeline and Setsuna. Still, there still were those five students who had not shown the needed level to pass the test yet. The so-called 'Baka Rangers'.

He gulped. If that situation kept itself up, he'd fail his own test for sure, as well. A single one of them flunking would mean he had failed at his mission. And he still couldn't find a way to get the likes of Makie and Asuna to show interest on the studies...

He was so absorbed by his worries he didn't notice anything else until a white brassiere flew down and landed on his head.

Negi blinked, checked if the silky thing currently slipping down on his face was indeed a bra, then yelped, jerking his head back to his students. What he saw there made him yelp once more.

A few of the girls were missing some articles of clothing, but most of them were still decent enough to be seen in public. However, Yue, Makie, Kaede and Ku Fei were in the middle of the group, stripped down to their bras and panties. The mortified Asuna had it worse than anyone, however, wearing only her bear panties and pressing an arm against her torso to hide her breasts.

"What the heck are you doing?!" Negi cried in a strangled voice.

"I told you, Baseball Janken," Sakurako explained. "It's like strip poker; you lose a piece of clothing for each answer you get wrong." She sighed. "A pity Hakase-chan has such good grades…"

"Your girlfriend's in trouble, Chisame," Madoka snorted, having lost only her shoes and socks. "And being exposed in public humiliation, too. Won't you step in and do something?"

"Public humiliation is Asuna's natural habitat. She'll be fine," Chisame, with her hair loose after losing her hair band, and missing both shoes but not the socks, snorted back. "And for the last time, she isn't my girlfriend! That was all a misunderstanding!"

"The two of you made out naked after publicly confessing your relationship," Ayaka said, her face a strange mix of snide and jealousy. "How is _that _a misunderstanding?"

Negi stood in utter helplessness as Kaede, Ku and Makie posed on with little to no shame, making standard Power Rangers poses. Even Yue joined in, although in a more restrained and stiff fashion.

"Baka Blue!"

"Baka Yellow!"

"Baka Pink!"

"Baka Black..."

"And our leader, Baka Red!"

"Cut that out!" Asuna shouted. Near her, Ayaka looked horribly distressed for someone still fully clothed.

"You're a truly weird class," Matoi quietly opined.

"Hey, at least we're not as bad as that Suzumiya weirdo," Misa chirped happily.

Matoi nodded. "I'll grant you that… but then again, so are mental institute patients."

Negi's face went completely white, his eyes becoming ink points. He was dead meat now, he was convinced of it...

"Asuna, you failed another answer!" Haruna was shouting now. "Off with the bottoms, too!"

Sakurako smiled at Negi. "Sensei, don'tcha wanna play, too?"

For once, he simply blew his top off. "Everyone get dressed right now!"

* * *

><p>After classes, and as a depressed Negi settled down to give the Baka Rangers their review lessons, Chisame had excused herself saying she had urgent things to do. She told Negi she'd be waiting at home and headed off, Matoi quickly following her like a shadow. For once, Chisame didn't care.<p>

She was going to see her teacher, after all.

They found Itoshiki-sensei departing 2-F, silently stalking him for a few minutes, until he finally tensed up and stopped, turning his head back to look at them.

"Ah! He gasped! You were after me all this time?" he asked.

"Yes," Matoi said. "Always."

"Sensei," Chisame humorlessly said. "We have something to ask you."

He nodded. "Naturally. I'm open to any question my students can pose to me, except why do Stephanie Meyers books still sell, what do I know about the Anti-Life Equation, and what are the phone numbers of my older brothers. Or mine, for that matter."

"What, exactly, will happen to Negi-sensei if even one of us fails the end of term test?" Hasegawa demanded to know.

Nozomu's face lost all color for a few moments, and then he quickly started to walk away. "Sorry. I, um, don't know what are you talking about. And I just remembered I need to go feed my pet bunny..."

The two girls quickly rushed ahead of him to cut him off, and then stared at him. Chisame had picked up that stare from Matoi. It wasn't the DEEP LOVE stare, but rather that angry, deadly icy one Tsunetsuki had given her when she had told her the stalker couldn't sleep with them, move into their room or install cameras in it.

_Jiiiiii..._

**Jiiiiii...**

The man backed away, gasping in terror. "Stop! Stop looking at me with those inhuman eyes!"

_Jiiiiii..._

**Jiiiiii...**

He slumped down, already a broken shell of a man. Granted, it never took much to reduce him to that state. "Very well! I surrender! I'll tell you everything!"

* * *

><p>As Negi left the Academy's main building to head back home, he pondered his choices. On the one hand, Wales was pretty at that time of the year, and he indeed missed Nekane. On the other hand, he positively didn't want to leave, he didn't want to return covered in shame, he didn't want the girls to fail, and although he wouldn't admit it to anyone, sleeping with Chisame and Satomi felt even better than sleeping with Nekane. It was all nice and warm for one thing, although having some parts of him stiff in the morning was a bit inconvenient.<p>

Not _that _part, in case anyone's wondering. But he couldn't move his limbs around freely being sandwiched between two bodies.

Briefly, he considered if he shouldn't use the Gray Cell Spell. It'd turn even the Baka Rangers into uber geniuses for a span of seventy two hours. On the downside, they'd be left as dumb as rocks for the next month after that, but a tiny voice at the back of his brain kept telling him at least Makie wouldn't notice a difference.

He was kicking those tempting but evil thoughts out of his head when he crossed paths with Dean Konoemon, who seemed to be in out for a stroll through the grounds.

"Oh! Headmaster-sensei!" Negi quickly bowed. "Good afternoon!"

"Ah, good afternoon to you too, Negi-sensei!" the old man brightened. "Just the man I wanted to see!"

"Me, Sir?"

"Why, yes, yes," the Dean nodded. "How are things going with your students? Do you think they'll be up for the challenge?"

"Yes, Sir!" he didn't hesitate. Outwardly, at least. "I'm sure they'll ace the test! And we still have three days left to improve on it!"

"I'm pleased to hear that! By the way, could I see your right wrist a moment?"

"Of course..." he extended it to his superior, wondering exactly why had he asked. The Headmaster grabbed it firmly, running a finger over it and muttering,

_"Tria Fila Nigra Promissiva, Negi Limitationem, per tres dies!"_

Negi recognized the spell even as he felt the magical energies flowing out of him, making him to feel weaker and a bit numbed down. It was a temporal restriction spell, one that normally only could be self-inflicted. No one but mages of the highest levels could ever cast it successfully on others.

"Sensei... This is... This is...!" he gulped.

"I apologize, Negi-sensei," the old man said ruefully. "But it's standard procedure for these kinds of tests. Using magic in this sort of challenge would be a cheat, and while I'm sure you're above those temptations, it wouldn't be fair to spare you the treatment all other aspirants have overcame."

"I... I understand..." the boy gazed in awe at the three marks now etched into his wrist. "Rest assured, I won't need any magic for this anyway..."

* * *

><p>The public baths.<p>

The place Chisame had come to detest the most ever since the love potion incident, and yet the only one large enough to host the reunion she had called for, since the classrooms had been closed after school hours. And since everyone else had already left for their homes, they'd get enough privacy for what she wanted to announce.

Matoi sat in perfect silence behind her as the Baka Rangers came in one after another, Konoka coming with Asuna, and Nodoka and Haruna with Yue. She tried not to think about how the girl was likely staring at her ass. Hakase came last, muttering something about unfinished experiments and how she hoped 'it' wouldn't 'blow up to pieces in the meantime'.

"Why did you call us here, Chisame?" Asuna frowned, crossing her arms. She wasn't exactly fond of the place either since that Valentine's Day.

"Is it another show?" Haruna asked hopefully. "We missed the last one..."

"It's not anything like that!" Hasegawa barked and drew in a deep breath. "Listen. Did you happen to actually hear what Sensei said today? About being in a tight spot if all of us didn't pass the test?"

"He'll probably be scolded," Kaede seriously pondered.

"We're working on it," Ku half-heartedly promised.

"Wrong on both counts!" Chisame accused. "Not only are you slacking as much as before, but the situation is much graver than that! If a single one of you blockheads flunks the test, Sensei will be fired and sent back to Wales!"

The students all made a shocked wild take.

"It can't be!" Ku cried.

"Are you really sure?" Yue asked.

"I heard it from a good source," Chisame assured.

"It's terrible! Horrible! Awful! Distressing!" Nodoka began to hyperventilate. "If Sensei goes away forever, I—! I—!"

"Unforgivable!" Haruna cried, clenching a fist. "We must protect our piece of hot shota ass!"

"So," Yue told Chisame,"Why do you care? I thought you hated sharing your dorm with him. That you hated having your normal life disrupted by his presence."

Hasegawa blinked a few times. "Do you think I'm that much of a spiteful person?"

Everyone not named Nodoka, Konoka or Hakase nodded.

"Bunch of ungrateful jerks!" Chisame shouted. "This is what I get out of fairly warning you?"

"It's okay, it's okay, Chi-chan!" Konoka appeased to her. "Girls, that was mean. I'm sure Chi-chan loves Negi-kun a lot..."

A fair blush spread over Chisame's cheeks. "Now, now, don't take it all the other way around, either...!"

"We can discuss that later," Yue said. "The important thing now is figuring out how to pass that test in the time we're left with."

"That's easy for you, Yue," Makie lamented. "You're actually smart. All you need to do is to study for real..."

Ayase grimaced. "Not an appealing prospect... but if there's really no other choice..."

"Thank you, Yue-Yue," Nodoka said.

"I suppose we all _could_ make an honest effort of studying, doing nothing else for the next three days?" Asuna proposed.

The Baka Rangers all looked at each other and everyone burst out laughing.

"Ah, that's Baka Red, always making with the jokes," Makie said, wheezing.

"I almost could keep a straight face!" Asuna said, slapping her thigh.

"Yeah, but seriously, what about the rest of us?" Ku asked when the hilarity died down. "I barely have finished mastering Japanese-aru! I can't become that smart in that short a time!"

"None of us can," Kaede observed. "It'd have to be a miracle..."

"A miracle..." Yue blinked in epiphany,"... Of science?"

Everyone looked at Hakase, who blinked cluelessly before finally realizing what they meant. "Oh, do you wish to know if there are any procedures that can stimulate your cerebral capacities to peak human levels? Well, we have researched machinery that develops brain activity through micro waves, but have only experimented on mice. 50% of our test subjects reach incredible levels of genius knowledge, but the other 50% is left unable to have any coherent thought processes, instead being moved to repeat verbal tics like 'Narf!' and 'Zort!'" She sniffed as if in remembrance. "Poor Algernon… "

"I think I understood that one," Haruna said. "Basically, it hasn't been tested on people yet, but it'd leave half of the Baka Rangers even dumber even if it doesn't fry all of their brains, right?"

"You are correct," Satomi nodded.

"I'll pass!" Makie cried.

"Then we have no way out..." Kaede sighed.

"Oh ho ho! Of course we have!" Haruna laughed. "When all the miracles of science fail, it's time to resort to the miracles... OF MAGIC!"

Chisame, Hakase, Asuna and Matoi tensed up. Did Haruna know about magic? How?

"Haruna..." Yue slowly began. "You can't possibly mean..."

"Are you thinking about that book?" Nodoka added her question.

Paru nodded a couple of times, so firmly her breasts bounced. "Exactly that one, Nodo-chan!"

"What are you talking about?" Chisame frowned.

"Deep into the bowels of Library Island, there is supposed to be an old magical book that grants incredible intelligence to anyone who reads through it. Legends say Da Vinci owned it for a while," the Baka Black reverently said, opening a carton of Greek radish and Polish carrot juice and poking a straw into it, then slurping away. "If we could get our hands on it, no test on this world would pose a problem for us."

"That's absurd," Makie said. "How can any book do that? The more complex they are, the dumber they make you feel..."

"Hey, don't knock it so easily!" Haruna shot back. "Magic really exists! I have seen living proof of it!"

"Wh-Where?" Chisame dreaded to ask.

"Let's just say..." Paru wondered how to say it, "Ranma and our Dad went through a few... things back when they were training at China, and they... brought kinda permanent signs of it..."

Ku's eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Jusenkyo?"

"Jusenkyo," Haruna confirmed.

"What springs?" the martial artist asked.

"Drowned Girl for Ranma, Drowned Panda for Dad," the mangaka replied.

Ku whistled. "It must be hard for them!"

"Oh, Dad doesn't really mind much, but Ranma still has a hard time dealing with it..."

"I've heard a lot about those springs, but never got to visit the area-aru. Chao told me she had reports on a lot of cases, but—"

Chisame clapped. "Ahem! As fascinating as I'm sure your little private conversation is, we want to help Sensei here, remember?"

"What was all of that about?" Asuna asked Yue.

The much shorter girl shrugged. "Trust me, you really prefer staying ignorant about it."

"Ranma-san is..." Nodoka sighed. "A somewhat troubled person with issues..."

Yue snorted. "He doesn't have issues, he has whole subscriptions and card bound copies of all previous publications!"

"I heard that, you two!" Haruna accused. "It's completely right, but still not nice to say!"

"S-S-Sorry, Paru!"

Chisame, Hakase and Asuna shared a glare. They had seen much stranger things. After vampires, plant monsters and a love potion, why not to believe in a magic book?

"I... I say we should go for it," Hasegawa concluded reluctantly, kicking the part of her mind telling her it was a horribly, stupidly bad idea.

"Yeah!" Asuna smiled. "I think it's worth a shot!"

"If Asuna puts faith in it, so do I!" Konoka nodded.

"That's not a very good endorsement," Chisame pointed out gloomily.

"Anything to help Negi-sensei!" Nodoka lent her support.

"Yeah, that's it!" Haruna pumped a fist up. "We're gonna find that sucker and shoot ourselves up to the top! But first, to seal our collective alliance, it's time for the naked mass snuggles!"

"HARUNA!" Everyone else shouted.

* * *

><p>As night fell once again over Academy City, the majority of citizens retreated back to their homes after long working shifts. Only those with too much free to waste and those with far too little other choices remained outside. The former, strolling along the well lit commercial boulevards, shopping at the gigantic malls. The latter, making their way through the badly lit alleys of the slums, the parts everyone preferred to forget existed.<p>

One of such unfortunate inhabitants stumbled along that lonely narrow street, her white high heels clacking at random intervals. She was still young, even if dilapidated and spent by years of excesses. She barely would fit into her tight green miniskirted dress anymore.

It was too late by the time she heard the rustling coming from behind her, and she saw the shadow looming over her. She couldn't make any shape out of it, but she had no time to wonder about it, either, as its long sharp claws pierced through her, splattering the walls with crimson.

The soul came out immediately, and the figure lurching over her devoured its core eagerly, before anyone else could claim it. Death before its time. The key, like always, was striking before the agents would get there.

The figure was rather human-like, even if grotesquely misshapen, similar to a shirtless, bald, big bellied man in showing black leathers, with a face painted stark white and a sharp conical nose. The 'Joker' look was big amongst the Hollows. One of the few human beings most of them actually admired.

Then it heard the shrill female scream coming from the other side of the street.

She was young and petite, around 16 years old, with large dark eyes and short black hair. She stared at him in terror. How could she even see him? For the Hollow's primitive mind, it barely mattered. All it knew was it still was hungry.

"... Give me more power..."

He ran after her on all fours, like an animal. The girl shrieked, turning around and running down the street.

"More..." it insisted, his voice echoing ominously.

"HELP ME!" the young female screamed.

"More... Power!" the clown like beast roared, extending the large claws at the ends of its fingers and jumping at her... only to be stopped in midair by a black, white and flesh-colored blur, sinking a sword through its right flank and wounding it grievously.

"Sayo! Over here!" a tall orange haired boy shouted, coming out of a nearby alley. The scared girl immediately ran to his arms, bawling into his chest.

"Kurosaki-sempai...! I-I'm sorry! I couldn't get there in time! He... He'd already found a girl... and... and..."

"There, there, not your fault," he consoled her, softly passing a hand through her hair, or rather, the hair of the body she was using, like he used to do to his youngest sister when she was scared at night. "You did it great. Now it's all up to Rukia..."

The Hollow growled, coming back to its feet as the second, identical looking if not for her Shinigami robes, girl firmly held her sword between her hands, measuring the monster up with her stern glare. "Ichigo..." she said. "Is this a full—"

"Yeah," the orange haired boy snorted. "No doubt. There's nothing human left in it anymore. 100 percent Hollow. Blast it down to Hell, Rukia."

"Ripper," she readied herself to strike. "Even for a Hollow, attacking the still living is falling too low. You've violated all rules of Death-sama, and for that..." she charged around, lashing with her blade for its midsection, "You are sentenced to damnation!"

She thought she was starting to get the appeal of those stupid cliché badass pre-fight little speeches. After a hard day at school, they were good for venting stress, that was for sure.

It stopped the initial attack with its claws, pushing her a few steps back. It was fast, she thought, faster than any other Hollow she ever had fought before. Maybe faster than her as well, she considered as she barely avoided its retaliatory slash, with a skill she couldn't have had a few months ago. Since she took the Replacement Shinigami job, she had made sure to ask Byakuya-Oniisama for lessons in kendo. Although intrigued about her reasons, he had welcomed her newborn interest in finally using the family's old dojo for something. As Ichigo had told her, and she had painfully learned early in the job, raw spiritual power wasn't enough to make it there. You also had to have skill.

And even at times, power and skill alone didn't cut it either...

The Hollow and Rukia clashed time and time again all across the street, metal blade clanging against metal claws, back and forth, in a seemingly even lethal dance. From their relatively safe hideout, a concerned Sayo-in-Rukia's-Human-Body and a scowling Ichigo watched on, quiet and silent.

Until abruptly, someone jumped down from a rooftop, falling squarely on her feet between them. Rukia stopped her sword in mid swing, while the Ripper paused back as well, puzzled and intrigued by the new arrival to the scene.

She looked very young, as young as 2-A's students, even shorter than Rukia herself, with a short red skirt that showed quite a long of her very long and rather skinny but still fit legs. Her black jacket with tie added to the impression of her wearing a classic uniform for another private school. Her hair was blond and long, made into two long tails. But the most striking thing about her was the huge scythe, easily bigger than herself, she expertly held in her hands.

Her expression was a firm, serious one, eyeing everything around herself with tense caution.

Sayo-in-Rukia's-Human-Body made a spit-take. Quite a feat, considering she wasn't drinking anyhting. "W-W-Who's that?-!"

Ichigo groaned, slapping a hand on his face. "Aw, nuts. Foreign soul hunters. I shoulda known that bozo would bring his own pursuers from across the seas."

Sayo-in-Rukia's-Human-Body looked at him. "E-Excuse me?"

Ichigo huffed. "You don't think all of us dress up like classic Japanese warriors, do you?"

Sayo-in-Rukia's-Human-Body gasped. "The afterlife has its own set of nationalities, too?!"

"Yeah, it may sound stupid, but each nation has its own sections of Heaven and Hell," the boy deadpanned. "Well, all of them but Canada. Canadians are too nice, so they all go to Heaven. So there's no Canadian Hell."

The normally unable of doing so Sayo (in-Rukia's-Human-Body) stared accusingly at Ichigo. "You're making fun of me."

His voice didn't change. "I don't know where you get those ideas..."

* * *

><p>"This water's too cold!" Makie complained as they all waddled through the small inner river separating the huge, majestic Library Island's main entrance from the small, hidden secret gate Yue and Haruna pointed towards. All of them but Kaede and Ku, who easily jumped from rock to rock, despite their being too distant from each other for anyone else to do that.<p>

"It can't be helped," Paru was saying. "Our Club uses this back door very rarely, and we aren't even supposed to do it in the first place, so it's not like we could build a proper road."

"Be careful," Nodoka warned. "The publicly accessible sectors of the Island are perfectly safe, but this area's off limits. We barely venture through the first few rooms. Beyond those... there are supposed to be traps."

"Why would they put traps at a school library?" Asuna asked.

"See, this is why I say ignorance is bliss!" Makie pouted.

"Then you must be super-happy," Chisame deadpanned.

"Okay, can I know now why we are here...?" Negi mumbled sleepily, dragging his steps along at the back of the group, with Chisame taking him by a hand.

She gestured at him to keep his voice low, looked back at the always following Matoi, and whispered into his ear so she wouldn't hear, _"We're looking for some... uhh... special study material that will make the Baka Rangers to pass the test. It only should take us a few hours. But, in case anything bad happens... You can use your magic without anyone noticing to get us outta here, right?"_

He blinked to zap the sleep away from his eyes. "Ah? Ah? Sorry, I can't do it..." He lifted his wrist up, showing her the marks on it. "The Dean just sealed my magical powers for three days..."

Chisame bit her tongue and fought the sudden urge to have an attack.

Yue turned her flashlight on as she fished her set of keys out, opening the door and leading the group into the first narrow and dark corridor of the secret passage. The other girls turned their own lights as well. Haruna and Konoka marched right behind her, then Kaede and Fei. Asuna and Hakase went next, with Makie, Chisame, Negi and Matoi at the back.

"Library Island," Ayase began, now walking down some old, decrepit, dusty rocky stairs, "was built in the middle of the Meiji period. The Academy was built by Europeans around the same time. It's one of the largest library buildings in the world, second only to the British Royal Librarian in terms of volumes stored within. It was damaged by fire, along with the rest of Mahora, early in the 20th century, but rebuilt by famed architect Suzushiro Janten."

"Suzushiro? Like Suzushiro Haruka-san?" Negi asked.

Yue gave him a nod. "Yeah. He was her great-grandfather. I guess that's part of why she feels so attached to this school. Fortunately, it escaped the bombings during World War II. During that time, precious documents, and even a few paintings, were brought from the bombed parts of Europe to be stored here by the Axis. A few of them remain here even today..."

Upon reaching yet another door at the end of the stairs, Yue pointed at the large picture hanging at one side of it.

"This is _The Twelve Knights Led by Brunhilda_. Legend says it was one of Hitler's favorite paintings. Haruna wanted to paint over it so all the guys were left naked, but I keep telling her it still has some cultural value..."

"But it's a Nazi piece!" Haruna whined. "Nazis are always acceptable targets!"

"Regardless," Ayase sighed, grabbing the keys again. "Over time, they added several additional wings, most of them underground ones. Those are the ones we're about to access. We believe there are many chambers that don't even appear in our maps, so you'd better get ready for anything."

"This place keeps getting creepier and creepier..." Makie sobbed.

"You've nothing to fear with us around, Makie-dono, " Kaede petted her head.

"Hu, hu, hu, that's right!" Ku Fei chuckled.

"Ladies, gentleman," Yue pushed the doors open. "At this point, Hakase, Konoka, Tsunetsuki-sempai and Nodoka will stay here monitoring our advances and watching over the entrance. The rest of us..." she said as everyone else gasped in awe of the sights being revealed to them, "will be going down there, to find and retrieve the book of knowledge!"

* * *

><p>"What do you mean when saying I'll stay here?!" Matoi finally exclaimed, possessively clutching to a groaning Chisame's back as she started to follow the rest of the exploration team into the huge library. Gigantic shelves full with books of all shapes and sizes stood everywhere, rising higher than any of them could reach up to. "I refuse! I'll never allow Chisame-sama to walk into the unknown alone!"<p>

"Geez, alone? What are we, chopped meat?" Asuna snarled.

Tsunetsuki threw her an indignant glare. "Silence, Jezebel! You only want to drag her into the darkness to steal her purity away!"

"What?-!" Asuna stomped towards her. "Say that again, obsessive freak!"

"At least I'm not an exhibitionist date rapist!"

"What gives you the right to call me that?!"

"I heard all about it! You stripped her down, stripped yourself down, and then, before everyone—!"

Negi's eyes popped up. "Say... what...?"

Chisame grabbed Matoi and pushed her against a shelf, fuming mad. "Tsunetsuki!"

"Yes, Chisame-sama?"

"Stay here!"

"Will not!"

"This doesn't involve you! You aren't even a part of 2-A!"

"We'd only get in the way," Konoka explained patiently, patting Matoi's back. "The Baka Rangers need to read the book, Chi-chan will transmit their coordinates to the Prof through her laptop, Haruna's the most athletic guide our Club can offer, and Negi-kun..." she paused, "Asuna, exactly why does Negi-kun need to go?"

"He can recognize the book at first sight," the redhead said.

"Can I?" the teacher asked in surprise.

_"It's a MAGICAL book..."_ Chisame whispered in one of his ears.

"Okay!" Konoka nodded. "But everyone else would be dead weight there, Matoi-sempai!"

"I'm not going to allow it!" the older girl rasped stubbornly.

Kaede sighed, pinched a spot on the back of Matoi's neck, and calmly scooped the suddenly unconscious girl in her arms, gently laying her down next to Hakase.

"Thank you," Chisame sighed.

"It was my pleasure, Chisame-dono."

"Wasn't it a bit too extreme?" Negi frowned.

"No," all the girls but Konoka, yes, even including Nodoka, replied at once.

"Well, no time to waste!" Haruna began to take the lead, merrily strolling ahead. "I know the exact way for at least the next six chambers, so as long as you follow my steps exactly, you won't be stepping on any highly lethal traps!"

Makie immediately jumped on her back like a baby koala. "I-I hope you don't mind..."

Haruna smiled at the feeling of a petite warm body firmly pressed against hers."Not at all... By the way, for a better grasp, can you wrap your arms right under my breasts? Yeahhh, like that... A bit tighter, I won't mind..."

Everyone else stared. Haruna didn't care, just going her way with her precious load.

Chisame breathed, fastened her backpack, and followed. "Don't stray, Sensei."

"I... I won't!" he skipped after her, only stopping briefly to look at one of the books. "Wah! A first edition of Stephen Strange's earliest treaty on cosmology!" He eagerly reached over for it, only to jump back when he saw an arrow jumping out of the shelf, zooming toward his head... only to be grabbed in midair by Kaede at the last second.

"Remember, we need to be cautious here, Negi-bouzou..." the tall girl calmly said, never losing her foxy relaxed smile.

"No way!" the boy panicked, waving his arms around.

"You've dragged us into our tomb!" Chisame gasped.

"Looks like the traps are still active, after all," Yue philosophized. "Watch your steps to the max, then. Upstairs it's perfectly safe, but down here, anything can happen."

Ku Fei jumped happily. "Yeah, this will make for a great training!"

_At least I won't die without having been kissed..._ Chisame was thinking as she walked along, all color leaving her face. _Not like a kid and Asuna would have been my choices, but... I wonder who'll inherit my belongings? I don't think Sora would make a good use of Computer-chan and Other Computer-chan... Kodaka would just use them to look at porn, I'm sure… And my page! Oh, God, that Kotokon slut will have no competition now! She'll steal all my fans away! There's no justice in this world!_

* * *

><p>Sayo (in-Rukia's-Human-Body) watched on in mild terror as the clown-like beast seemed to be the first one to take action, jumping over to the newcomer, its claws going for the immediate kill. In a split second, however, the blond girl ducked under the attack and swung the scythe up into the Hollow's chest, cutting deeply enough to make it howl, but not enough to kill it. Instead, it jumped back, clinging to a wall several feet over them.<p>

Rukia briefly eyed the seemingly younger girl. "And you would be...?"

"Maka Albarn, Scythe Meister. Been following Ripper all the way from England," she quickly said, without even looking at her, instead dashing after the Hollow when it began to move along the walls down the street. "If he makes it to the roofs, we'll lose him! Move it!"

"What?" Rukia began running after her. "How can we reach it? We can't..." she gasped as she saw the stranger began a vertical dash up the nearest brick wall, "... run up walls...?" She shot her Shinigami 'trainer' a glare. "ICHIGO! Are Shinigami supposed to do that?"

He sighed. "Even the crappiest ones, yeah..."

"Watch out, Kuchiki-san!" Sayo cried as the Hollow jumped down to avoid the foreigner's slash, forcing Rukia to back away in a flash, the beast falling right where she'd been a moment before. It struck ahead with the claws again, and she barely managed to block them with the sword in time. With another swing of the blade, she forced it back, and when the blonde jumped back down a second after that, they began to strike together, putting it on the ropes, making it to step back and back down the narrow street until it stumbled and fell down a flight of steps at the end of the way.

That was the cue for the Maka girl to jump down as well, violently swinging the scythe down into the Hollow's midsection, her olive eyes gaining a sharp, vicious spark for a moment as she did so. Then she released the weapon, and much to Rukia and Sayo's shock, it glowed in an intense yellow light, quickly changing into a short, white haired boy around the same age as Maka. He was wearing a yellow and black jacket, red pants, sneakers, and a sweatband around his forehead.

The strange boy plunged a fist down into the dying, howling Hollow's chest, grinning and showing a mouth full of sharp teeth as the prisoner souls inside the creature flew around in all directions, free to reach their ultimate fates. Finally, it ripped a glowing, spherical spiritual core out of the beast and hungrily put it into his mouth, swallowing it down in a single gulp.

Sayo cringed in utter, sheer disgust. "EWWWWW!"

The boy licked his lips lazily, as the Hollow below him disappeared in a few sputters of dark sparkles. "... What? You never saw a Demon Weapon at work before?"

Sayo shook her (and Rukia's, by default) head very quickly. "N-N-No! Thankfully, not!"

He gave her a quirky, curious new look, jumped up the steps in a couple of skips with his hands in his pockets, and then gave her a very close, examining glare, making her to shudder. "Hey, Maka," he called out. "This doesn't match. This soul doesn't belong to this body."

His companion nodded. "Yeah, I noticed, too. I think it's her body," she gestured with her head to Rukia.

The substitute Shinigami nodded, still unsure of what to do. "Yes. Yes, it's my body. Sayo-san uses it to help us while I am—"

Both the Meister and the weapon were staring at her in disbelief now. "Something wrong?"

"You mean," the boy tapped on Sayo-in-Rukia's head, "You have a Plus driving your body around?"

"Why would a Shinigami keep a human body around, much less allow a Plus to use it?" the blond girl asked, genuinely puzzled.

"She's only a temporary replacement Shinigami. A human," Ichigo snorted, stepping in, also with his hands in his pockets. The other boy frowned at him, and he frowned back. Not exactly love at first sight. "She's taking over for me while I recover from an... incident."

The young man with the jacket laughed. "Oh, that's rich! A Shinigami who lost his post, the human covering for him, and their Plus pet! Who'd ever heard of anything like that?"

"I'm not a pet!" Sayo protested.

"There are many procedural irregularities about this," Maka warned warily. "You guys might get severely punished because of it..."

"Punished?" Rukia grew worried now. "Ichigo, you never told me—!"

"It's all okay! I'll cover all the paperwork!" Kurosaki barked. His arm twinged in anticipated pain.

Sayo poked the other boy's head curiously, as if trying to find the sharp point of a scythe between his wild hair. "I can't believe it! You were that scythe just moments ago, weren't you? How can you do that?"

"He's Soul Eater Evans, a Demon Weapon. Don't be scared about the 'Demon' part. It's a simple denomination more than anything else. You can call him a living weapon," the foreign girl explained politely. "It's not unusual for mystical weapons to have their own lives and personalities, actually. Even a Shinigami's Zanpakutou can develop their own."

"Zanpakutou?" Rukia doubted.

"Your sword," Maka then shot Ichigo an annoyed stare. "Honestly, you haven't told her even that? What kind of mentor are you? Men..."

"She isn't going to be doing this for long," Ichigo mumbled, looking aside. "The less she gets to know, the better..."

"That's very rude to say, Kurosaki-kun!" Sayo chided.

"Why haven't you sent this Plus to the afterlife?" Maka asked again.

"She just won't go away," Ichigo snapped.

"Let me try, please," Maka walked to a suddenly fearful again Sayo's head, tapped a few times on the skull of the body she was using, pouted, and shook her head. "You're right. I can feel a weird, strong link to this world. You still have baggage to need to solve. Until you do that, you won't be able to leave for your reward."

"What kind of baggage?" Sayo pleaded to know.

"That I can't know, sorry," Maka sighed. "You should try to look into your past, into what you did in life. The key must be there."

"But I can't remember anything of that...!"

"Maka, it's getting late," the Soul Eater grumbled, crossing his arms behind his neck. "Let this people fix their own messes. We already helped them enough for one night... or lifetime."

"Wait!" Rukia said. "I have two questions! Why did you eat that Hollow's core?"

"I need to eat 99 of those to become a full Death Scythe," he replied indolently. "Weapons grow more powerful the more enemies we slay and consume in battle."

Rukia looked at her sword with some apprehension. "Is the same true about my Zanpakutou?"

"In its own way, yeah. Was that your second question?"

"No! My second question, was, ummm... It may sound dumb, but... is my Zanpakutou a... boy or a girl?" She held the sword for him to examine.

A drop of sweat appeared on everyone else's heads.

Finally, however, Soul rasped and passed a hand up and down the blade. "A... female, no doubt," he said. He grinned lecherously. "And what a female..."

BA-DONKKK!

Maka's right fist had just gone down on his head. "Dirty pig! Stop molesting that poor sword!"

"Someone as cool as me could never be a molester! I was just satisfying that lady's request!"

"You spent far too long caressing it!"

"I had to! I wanted to be sure! It's always hard to get it right when they all are long, pointy, phallic weapons!"

Sayo turned supplicant eyes up to Ichigo. "Kurosaki-san..."

"Yeah?"

"Can I go back home now?"

She was thankful she could venture far out of the Academy now she could use Rukia's body at times. But everything had a limit.

* * *

><p>"Even assuming we don't die here..." Chisame mused, pulling an arrow out of her ponytail. Behind her, Asuna was trying to dislodge another arrow out of her hair bells, and Ku still held the one she had caught at the last second between her teeth. "How are you sure we'll return in time for tomorrow's classes?"<p>

Yue made a humming sound, carefully marching at the lead of the group, with Haruna at her side throwing her light in all directions. "Hmmmm. According with this map, which has proven to be exact so far, we're at the third underground level now. We've only made it to the sixth one in the past, and the lowest one we know exists is the 11th. If there's a magical book, it must be all the way down there. At our current rate of movement, it should take us three hours more to get there, and another three or four to return. Since it's only around eight o'clock now, and counting the time it'll take us to leave the island and heading back home, we should be back in bed around 4:00 A.M. That still leaves us with two hours of sleep before going back to school. Stressful, but worth it."

"I won't get to do my paper route, though..." Asuna lamented. "But what the heck, one day isn't going to hurt!"

"But that involves a lot of 'if's," Chisame pointed out. "What if the other chambers are even bigger and more dangerous than these? And what if some of them are sealed up?"

"Then there's nothing we can do but go back and thinking of something else, right?" Yue asked with extreme tranquility.

"Don't be so darn negative, Chi-chan," Haruna playfully scolded. "Honestly, you're starting to sound like Itoshiki-sensei! As long as we work together, nothing can go wrong! By the ways, heads down, everyone," she casually said, ducking as a large swinging blade came from the ceiling, passing right above the heads of Yue and Negi, and forcing everyone else to throw themselves down with a scream. "Good reflexes, gang!" the mangaka whistled.

"Mom...! Dad...! Please have another child and forget me!" Makie bawled.

"Ha ha ha, it reminds me of Grandpa's training camp..." Kaede reminisced.

_Level Four:_

"Negi-kun? I think that book with the weird face over there is calling to me..." Makie gulped aloud.

"Oh, that's just Necronomicron-kun," Haruna said. "Sometimes it sounds like it's talking, but we're pretty sure it's just the human skin covers hiding some noisy insects underneath."

"Never touch it, in any case," Yue warned.

_Level Five:_

"This water's too icy!" Negi shuddered while waddling as best as he could, the liquid reaching up to his waist.

"My panties are soaked!" Makie complained.

"I think an eel's sneaked into my skirt!" Asuna yelled, madly patting her bum up and down.

"That fish swimming over there has three eyes..." Chisame bit her lower lip. "This doesn't bode well..."

_Level Six:_

"Too... hot..." Chisame panted.

"No wonder you never got past this point, Haruna-san..." Negi wheezed. "Haruna-san... would you mind please putting your shirt back on?"

"Hey, Asuna's doing it too..."

"I can smell my breasts cooking themselves up inside my chest..." Kagurazaka groaned.

_Level Seven:_

To spare our readers with a weak mental constitution permanent psychological damage, we will skip over this level in our narration. Let's just say they found evidence of the Bible Black Ritual and Kaede's skills were useful and leave it at that. Also, everyone swore never to eat Squid or Octopus ever again…

_Level Eight:_

Asuna's eyebrows quivered as she sat down on the dusty floor, with Makie clutching to her right side whimpering. "I vote... I vote for all of us never talking about what happened there ever again..."

"I concur," Haruna nodded, serving herself a sip of coffee for her thermos, her hands shaking.

"We are Dantes without a Virgil, traveling deep into the abyss of Hell..." Yue hugged her legs and trembled.

A visibly shaken Chisame was communicating with Hakase through her laptop. "Ground control? Hasegawa here. No, we haven't lost anyone yet. Yes, we finally reached a level with no traps. We're taking a short break while we still can. But I want to tell you two things. If I don't come back, you can keep my computers. And if there's a next time, I'LL BE GROUND CONTROL THEN! YOU GET ME?-!"

Near her, Negi just stared into nothingness. "Croatoa, Croatoa, Croatoa..." he repeated.

"WAH!" Ku cried. "That was fun! Let's do it again!"

Kaede shrugged. "Two out of ten for effort…"

_Level Nine:_

"What are those giant lizards doing so below ground level?" Makie asked, fearfully hugging her teacher's right arm for protection.

"Don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact..." Yue was suggesting. "Ku! Stop kicking the giant lizards around!"

"We're just playing-aru! Ah ha ha ha, they are so cute! Look, this one wants to bite me! HYAAAHHH!"

That was the last day on Earth for the species of the _Mahoraticus Varanus Rex_.

_Level Ten:_

"Out of all the levels... this has to be the most unsettling one..." Chisame's teeth chattered.

"The Collected Works of Over Master..." Negi looked at the eerie quietness around them. "Unequally Rational and Emotional!"

"The Sonichu Bible...!" Yue clenched her eyes shut. "The Annotated Shadow Crystal Mage!"

"Uwe Boll's Manual to Cinematography!" Asuna whimpered. "My Immortal!"

"Dave Sim's Guide to Women!" Haruna ran her hands through her hair. "Ah! How to Win Friends and Influence People!"

"Let's reach the exit as soon as we can!" Kaede commanded.

"There's even Stephenie Meyer in here!" Chisame gasped. "And that-vampire-author-who-basically-disowned-her-vampire-books-but-whose-series-and-other-works-we're-still-not-allowed-to-post-on-this-site!"

Makie frowned, looking up from the copy of _New Moon _she was reading through. "Honestly, am I the only one who doesn't find them that bad?"

"Drop that!" Haruna told her. "Your fingers will wither and fall off!"

And then, finally, after so many travails, they reached it.

_The Eleventh Level._

Negi, Chisame, Haruna, Asuna, Yue, Kaede, Makie and Ku Fei stared, wide eyed (well, all but Kaede) at the titanic thing of amazement that was the eleventh chamber. It had no shelves with books anywhere in sight; instead, it was some sort of ancient tomb with its floors and walls covered by gigantic slabs of rock. Two monumental armored statues, one carrying an oversized war hammer, the other bearing a huge stone sword, surrounded a small altar bearing a tiny stand holding a big, thick, closed and fairly old looking tome at the end of a stone bridge.

"It's amazing! Like something out of an Indiana Jones movie!" Makie marveled.

"Or like the final boss' stage in a video game..." Chisame licked her lips with concern.

"I knew it was real!" Haruna cooed, tightening a fist up. "That book over there must be right what we're looking for!"

Asuna looked at Negi for a confirmation. "Yo, Negi? Do you recognize that old thing?"

The boy scrunched his eyes for a moment, staring at the volume several feet away, and then gulped briskly. "It is! I can't believe it! It matches the descriptions of the legendary Book of Melusedek perfectly!"

"You sure of that, Negi-bouzou?" Kaede inquired.

"Yes! I... umm... have researched a lot on ancient tomes with... supposed paranormal properties..." he explained. "But the last reports about this book placed it at France, more than ninety years ago. How did it end up underground at Asia?"

"That doesn't matter-aru! It's the answer to our prayers!" Ku ran ahead for it.

"We're going to pass that test!" Kaede raced after her.

"Takahata-sensei will be so impressed!" Asuna joined them.

"Hold it!" Negi called out. "Don't go any further! Such a book must have even worse traps protecting it than the ones we've found so far!"

Sure enough, the bridge under the three girls' feet split itself by half then, dropping them down into a thick rock platform right under it.

"A-Are you okay?!" Negi rushed to the edge of the platform.

Asuna rubbed her aching butt and grumbled. "Nothing hurt but my pride..."

"Oh, is _that_ what you call it?" Chisame sniped, rubbing her own 'pride'.

Ku laughed, scratching the back of her head. "Guess we were just lucky it wasn't anything worse-aru..."

Kaede already was back on her feet, crossing her arms. "Well, it'll take more than this to stop this one, de gozaru."

"Don't tempt fate!" Chisame warned, right before a loud rumbling sound came from behind them all, and to their collective terror, one of the statues came into life moving like a giant robot of sorts, slamming its war hammer against the floor, making the chamber to tremble. Makie yelped, jumping back into the platform and hiding behind Kaede. Negi instinctively shielded Chisame, Yue and Haruna with his own body.

**"ALL OF YOU, SEARCHERS FOR KNOWLEDGE..."** the armor spoke in a strong, thundering, amplified and echoing voice, **"... MUST ANSWER THE GUARDIAN'S QUESTIONS WITH NO FEAR!"**

"A moving stone statue? Th-That's absurd!" Asuna yelled.

"Aiyaaaa!" Ku Fei said.

"It must be some sort of ancient automaton," Yue tried to make sense of it. "Maybe stories like the Turkish doll that played chess and the mechanical duck from 1739 had more truth about them than we thought..."

"IT'S GOING TO KILL US!" Makie freaked out.

Negi gasped as well, although for some reason he couldn't help thinking the golem's voice, distorted and altered as it was, was one he had heard somewhere else before...

* * *

><p><em>Back at the Library's Entrance:<em>

"How strange," Hakase took another look at her laptop. "We haven't gotten any updates from Sensei and the others in nearly an hour. Do you suppose they are okay?"

"Maybe the signal doesn't travel that well through the earth," Konoka said, beginning to distribute the sandwiches around. "Do you prefer cocoa, tea or coffee?" she pointed at the three thermoses she had brought along.

"Cocoa for me, please," Nodoka asked gently.

"Same here," Satomi nodded.

Near them, Matoi stirred in her sleep, snorted and rolled on her side. "Mmmm, Deep Love... Deep into the burning bowels of Earth... Too hot for you? Don't worry, you can take that off, I won't mind..."

The other three girls twitched.

"I pray they come back before she wakes up," Nodoka shared.

"Well," Hakase philosophized, "If she does, we may not have Kaede's nerve pinch, but an alternative always can be found..." She casually held her now empty sandwiches tray up.

Konoka and Nodoka looked at her with some uneasiness.

"... Something wrong?" she asked curiously.

* * *

><p>"Very well!" Negi gave a step ahead, looking up at the towering golem armor. "Ask us your questions! Just remember to respect your word and give us the book after we're done answering them!"<p>

"Technically, he hasn't gone into that much detail about what he'll allow us to do..." Makie pointed out, but no one paid her attention.

**"YOU CANNOT ANSWER WITH SPOKEN WORDS!"** the suit of armor pointed at the platform beneath them with its mace. **"YOU SHALL USE THE SYSTEM YOU STAND UPON!"**

"Ah?" Asuna looked down, examining the complex schematics of dozens of circles with syllables, symbols and assorted kanji written on them laid all over the platform. "What is this?"

"It's a giant Twister board!" Haruna understood, moving next to her. "I get it! All we gotta do is touch the circles that will form the answers we must give. It's easy!"

"Easy for you, maybe!" Asuna reprimanded.

"Negi-kun, can you handle this for us, please?" Makie asked.

"His arms and legs are far too short for that," Kaede said. "I say we should give it a try ourselves. We haven't come this far for nothing, de gozaru?"

"No, you're right," Yue sighed. "So, Monster-san, what's the first question?"

**"HEED MY WORDS!"** the statue said. **"WHAT IS THE JAPANESE TRANSLATION FOR 'DIFFICULT'?"**

"Dee-fee-coolth?" Asuna babbled. "Or is it "Deh-feeh-kulth? May we hear the question again?"

"Geez, it's very difficult," Ku Fei rubbed her chin.

"That's it!" Negi tried to help them.

"We know it already! No need to hammer it down!" Asuna snapped.

"No! He's trying to tell you it's 'difficult'!" Chisame said. "That is, 'Mu', 'Zu', 'I'!" she placed a hand, and then a foot, on each corresponding circle.

**"CORRECT ANSWER,"** the golem approved.

"Yay!" Ku cheered.

"Well done, Chi-chan!" Makie patted her in the back.

She clenched a smug smile. "Fu fu fu... It's nothing at all..."

**"NEXT,"** the guardian said, **"SPELL 'CUT' IN JAPANESE."**

"Okay," Chisame began, "I think that is..."

**"YOU SHALL BE DISQUALIFIED IF YOU LET GO OF THE BUTTONS!"** the statue roared.

"Someone else! Someone else!" Haruna urged them. Then she made scissoring motions with her fingers. "Look! Like this!"

"Ah!" Makie brightened up. "It's 'Kiru Kiru', right?" KI!" she touched one of the circles, then... "RU!" she had to reach for another, which was so apart she had to touch it with the point of a foot, spreading herself to the point her white panties were showing. Again, that moved Negi to spin around blushing and sputtering apologies.

**"APPROVED!"** the golem shouted. **"NOW, THE WORD TO TRANSLATE IS 'REMEMBER'!"**

"I know this one," Yue got on all fours. "O-MOI-DA-SU!" That, however, left her in a rather uncomfortable position. "Guys, get on with it quick...! I don't know if I'll be able to keep this pose for long!"

**"WELL DONE. THE NEXT WORD IS 'BASEBALL'."**

"Now I can handle this," Kaede said. "Ya-Kyu-U!"

The position she was forced to take left her arching rather closely over Yue, her breasts nearly smothering the smaller girl's face.

"Kaede... I need air..."

"Just hang on there, Yue-dono..." she had to say.

Ku and Haruna took the next two questions with similar success. The armor almost sounded satisfied by now, towering over Negi, Asuna, and the straining, panting tangle of schoolgirls spread in uncomfortable and rather compromising ways over another.

**"LAST QUESTION," **it announced.

"About... damn time...!" Yue raggily breathed.

"I dunno, I think I could get used to this..." Haruna purred, her face mere inches away from Ku Fei's toned and firm backside.

**"DISH,"** the golem simply said. **"WHAT IS THE MOST USUAL TRANSLATION CONVENTION FOR SAID WORD?"**

"Dish?" Asuna blinked. "Ah, dish, dish, dish... Oh! I got it!" she slammed a hand down. "O!"

"That's it, Asuna-san!" Negi cheered.

"SA!" Kagurazaka slammed her other hand down as well.

"Yes! Yes!" he put his hands together. "We're almost there!"

"RU!" Asuna finished, reaching with her forehead and knocking on the final circle with it.

Everyone else stared at her with slack jawed horror.

"What?" she asked. "'Dish' is 'Monkey' in English, isn't it?"

"IT DOESN'T EVEN COME CLOSE!" an angry chorus replied.

**"OH, HO HO HO HO!"** the armor laughed in a grim, thundering fashion. "**YOU HAVE FAILED!"**

And then it swung its humongous mace down.

* * *

><p>The mace hit the platform, shattering it into a million pieces of rock with that single strike. In a split second, Negi and his students found themselves standing on thin air, with a pitch black abyss under them.<p>

"Oi!" Chisame squealed.

And then they all fell down.

"ASUNA, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Ku Fei cried.

"Iinchou was right! You're really a dumb ape!" Yue exclaimed, plummeting down into the darkness as well.

"I'm sorry! It was just a typo!" Asuna waved her arms around, trying to grab for the walls.

"Typo my round tight ass!" Haruna shook a fist. "Now I'll die a virgin! I'll never forgive you for this!"

"A-HOP!" Makie pulled one of her practice ribbons out of a pocket, tossing it up and managing to have it caught between two slabs of rock, stopping her fall. "WAI! I DID IT!"

"Good job, Makie-dono!" the passing-by Kaede hugged her legs, stopping her own fall as well, then grabbed Yue's right hand in midair, all three girls hanging over the seemingly bottomless pit. Everyone else had fallen too far for them to be catch, however. "Goodbye, Negi-bouzou, everyone..." the ninja grimly said."We'll never forget your brave sacrifice, de gozaru..."

"Kaede!" Makie gasped.

"What?" she defended herself. "A Shinobi learns to respect the realities of life and death..."

"I don't mean that!" the gymnast squealed. "Your weight's too much for—!"

Then the ribbon snapped by half, proving her point as they fell again.

"Well, as I was saying, now we'll be reunited forever, Negi-bouzou..." Kaede sighed.

"Nodoka, I always loved you...!" Yue angstily confessed while falling to certain death.

_Way, way, upstairs, Nodoka, you guessed it right, sneezed._

"Catching a cold?" Konoka asked with concern.

"Maybe," the librarian conceded. "What time is it by now? I'd dare to guess dawn is approaching..."

Down below in the darkness, Asuna turned her head to Negi. "Brat! To hell with secrecy! Use your magic and save us all!"

"I can't do such a thing!" he claimed.

"Magic?" Ku Fei questioned.

"You really are bad in the head, Asuna!" Makie told her.

"I failed everyone... I'm useless to the end..." Negi sobbed while turning his head away from the others. "Because of me, and my incompetence, you all got yourself wrapped into this, and now..." He clutched at his head, wailing. "I'M IN DESPAIR! MY USELESSNESS HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

_Itoshiki opened his eyes. "I sense a disturbance in the Force…" he said. "As if I'm suddenly no longer alone." He shivered. "Horrible thought." He turned and went right back to sleep._

Then Negi felt a pair of arms encircling him from behind, turning him around to face the just-as-upside-down-as-himself Chisame. Through his own watery eyes, he could see she was leaking a few silent tears out. "Chisame-san..."

"I'm glad I met you. Despite everything," she whispered, with a slightly jaded but moved tone matching her expression. Then she closed her eyes and pulled him to her, deeply kissing his lips.

Then they all seemed to pass through a widening tunnel mouth, and a bright light glowing underneath met them, right before they fell zooming into what seemed to be a huge mass of clear cold water.

Then everything turned black for Negi.

When he finally regained consciousness, he guessed a few hours had passed, since everything around him looked like it was bathed by a bright morning light. Chisame was kneeling over him, breathing out in deep relief. "Thank God, you're okay... Aren't you?"

"Y-Yes..." he weakly sat up, noticing he still was wet all over his lower body, although his torso and head had been dried down. His chest was bare, and his shirt hung from a nearby tree's branches, drying off.

Wait. A tree?

There were trees all around, actually, along with shelves and shelves of books reaching into the horizon line in all directions. And water, lots of water, forming lagoons and small rivers between the tiny islands where the shelves and trees stood. They, and the rest of the group, were at one of said islands, most of the girls wringing their wet clothes off and examining the status of their backpacks.

"Hey, Sensei!" Haruna waved with a wide smirk. "Didn't you break anything? No? Good! How about you, Chi-chan?"

"I broke the most important part of myself!" Chisame growled, then held her shattered laptop up for everyone to see. "Now how are we supposed to call Hakase up for help? Even our cellphones won't reach from down here! Oh, my poor baby!" she lamented. "So young, so expensive, so full of promise for the future! You didn't deserve this!"

"Well, what matters is we're all physically fine..." Negi looked down at himself, noticing one of the marks at his wrist had vanished already. Had a full whole day passed by, for real?

"SPEAK FOR YOURSELF!" Chisame cried. "ARGH, THE AGONY! WHY NOT ME? _WHY NOT ME?_"

Everyone sweat dropped as Chisame continued into hysterics worthy of Shatner.

"Um, yeah, but exactly where are we?" Makie asked, looking in all directions. "Still under the library, or did we fall through an exit?"

"It must be outside," Asuna guessed. "There's sunlight, and trees growing. No way we can be underground."

Chisame had crouched down sobbing, burying her laptop in a small, makeshift grave in the sand, then kneeling over it to mutter a prayer. "May Pentium watch over you, may Mac help you find peace…"

Haruna, meanwhile, had wrapped an arm around Yue's shoulders, giggling and poking a finger into her cheek. "So, what was that angsty confession of love I heard back there...?"

A soft blush. "I love Nodoka... like a most dear sister."

"Yeah, sure..." Paru ran her fingers through Yue's hair. "The way Fuuka loves Fumika like a 'most dear sister', right?"

Kaede looked up at the giant tunnel they had fallen through. "We can't go back that way-de gozaru. We should split into search parties to look for another way out..."

"But what if there's another of those giant things hunting around here?" Makie asked.

"Sasaki-san's right," Negi nodded. "We must stay together until we're out of here. Hoping to go back for the book is suicidal, as well. Our top priority must be finding a safe way back to the Academy. But rest assured, Satomi-san and the others must be doing their best to rescue us!"

_At the surface..._

"It's... already dawning..." Nodoka said.

"Yeah, and still... no signs, Prof?" Konoka looked at Hakase.

The scientist hummed, staring at her screen. "The signal from Chisame's laptop... has just gone dead..."

"..." Nodoka said.

"..." Konoka said.

Very, very slowly, Hakase nodded at them. "Authorization to enter Raving Panic Mode- Granted."

And so, they freaked out.

* * *

><p><em>Classroom 2-A, early that morning:<em>

The class was highly disappointed when they saw the blond and bespectacled Biology teacher waltzing in instead of Negi. She had arrived pushing a cart on wheels, covered by a large white blanket.

"Good morning, students!" she greeted with a youthful, bubbly smile, clacking her heels together. It was quite offensive, really. Someone that old shouldn't be that perky.

"G-Good morning, Hanyuu-sensei," Ayaka stiffly bowed, the rest of the pupils following suit somewhat warily. "But... may we ask why are you here today?"

"Oh, that," Hanyuu Mimi's smile turned a bit more smug, rather annoying. Ayaka resisted the urge to smack her. "Looks like poor Negi-sensei won't be able to come today. I guess it's to be expected of a child. Several of your classmates are absent today as well, I see..."

Ayaka's brow curved itself angrily. "And what are the reasons for Negi-sensei's absence?"

"I wasn't told that, and honestly, it's no business of mine," the teacher shrugged, pulling the blanket off to reveal a large tank full with slimy, squirming snails, much to most girls' disgust. "Now, pay attention! Before I take attendance, I'd like to introduce you to our impromptu study session's subject! To get you prepared for the Biology parts of your tests, we'll be running an in-depth dissection and research into the vital systems of these Gastropoda molluscans! We'll divide them organ by organ, then answer to a questionnaire on the functions of each organ and its relation with our own biological systems!"

"That's just plain gross..." Yuuna's face fell down.

"Nonsense," Hanyuu-sensei chided. "Snails are fascinating creatures, true survivors who will most likely endure past mankind's time at this planet. There's so much we can learn from them! Why, I even owe getting this job to snails!"

"How so, Sensei?" Natsumi asked.

She wiggled a finger. "That's a golden secret of mine. Regardless, before we start, let's see how many of them will we have to use. Akashi Yuuna-san?"

"Here," Yuuna groaned.

"Asakura Kazumi-san?"

"Here, Sensei!" the reporter said, already thinking of looking into Negi's disappearance after classes.

"Ayase Yu—"

Right then, Hakase, Nodoka and Konoka bursted into the room. Setsuna seemed to breathe a bit easier at the sight of the Konoe heiress. It had absolutely _nothing_ to do with the fact her sweaty blouse was clinging _quite_interestingly to her heaving chest. Nope, absolutely nothing at all…

"Hakase-san! Miyazaki-san! Konoe-san!" the teacher admonished. "A demerit for each one of you! You're all late!"

"S-Sorry, Hanyuu-sensei!" Nodoka bowed to her. "B-But it's an emergency!"

Satomi, meanwhile, paid the adult no attention and headed straight to her creation's side. "Chachamaru!"

"Yes, Hakase-san?" the gynoid asked calmly.

"We have need for your services," the teen genius told her, pointing dramatically. "It's an important search and rescue mission."

Ayaka blinked in alarm. "R-RESCUE?-!-?"

Sakurako swooned. "WAH! Satomi-chan looks so cool!"

* * *

><p><em>Negi, Chisame and Satomi's Dorm:<em>

Chamo rolled around in his drawer bed of panties, hiccupped a bit and scratched himself on a flank.

Ahhh, life was good.

He wondered only very vaguely what was taking everyone else so long...

* * *

><p>After half a day of wandering around for an exit, the group had basically realized they couldn't keep on walking into the woods without getting completely lost, and Mahora was nowhere at sight. At one point, they had reached a huge, insurmountable wall of rock the size of a mountain covered all over with roots, which reached up until it touched what seemed to be the rocky ceiling of a natural chamber above them. That lent new life to the theory of them still being underground, although Asuna's point about sunlight still stood.<p>

Regardless, once it was obvious they'd only get lost if they looked around further, Negi decided to order a return to the area below the tunnel's mouth. They were most likely to be found there in case any search and rescue parties arrived, after all.

In the meanwhile, he had organized a nice small classroom with several different objects just happening to lie around. They had plenty of books, of course, plus a few notebooks, large boxes to be used as desks, pencils, and even a functional chalkboard. In less than a single hour, he had the new 2-A set up, and since the girls had been left tired of marching around, they posed no resistance to sitting down and listening. Plus, with the book lost, they knew they had no options left but actually studying.

They spent the rest of the day like that, going over as many subjects as they could, the studies actually managing to take their minds away from their worries, getting them to calm down.

"Okay, who knows the answer...?" Negi asked while tapping on the blackboard with a branch, looking at his students eagerly.

"I do! I do!" Makie waved a hand up.

"Yes, Sasaki-san?"

"It's 35!" she chirped.

"That's right!" the boy clapped, and Makie giggled as her classmates, even Chisame to some degree, followed his example.

By the end of the day, he actually thought they had made some progress. They set up a camp of sorts on the main island, near the classroom, and also relatively near a conveniently placed public toilet stall.

"This place is so weird..." a barefoot Asuna mused, opening a can of tuna and spreading it on her bread. Fortunately, Yue, Haruna and Chisame had possessed the foresighted to bring some food in the event of an accident. "It's completely abandoned, yet there are many commodities, as if they expected a visitor at any moment."

"Yeah, and the books are all in perfect condition, not damaged by humidity or insects," Yue added, reaching for her carton of Latverian Cherry Root Juice. "Even the ones that are underwater. Almost too good to be true."

"Hey, Chisame, why aren't_ you _pointing all this out?" Asuna said. "Is that your schnicht in this fic?"

Chisame glared at her angrily, busy tying a black armband on her bicep. "I'm in mourning here for my dear Laptop-kun! I have no time for lampshade hanging!"

Yue kept on talking, ignoring the two. "Here, I feel at peace... Warm and surrounded by so many exotic, beautiful books..." A sigh. "I almost wish I could stay here forever!"

"You might get your wish-de gozaru..." Kaede looked up. "It's as if we all fell into another world. There are no signs of any recent visits, and this dumb one has a hard time seeing how could anyone ever find us."

"W-What are you trying to say?-!" Makie choked on her cold dinner.

"We looked in all directions, and it's clear there's no way to reach Mahora from here," Kaede calmly reminded them. "I'd say the only way out is the same we used to get here, and even then, if the monster covered that entrance with the debris of its attack, we may have been left with no way out at all-de gozaru."

"Don't even joke about that!" Chisame shouted. "We can't spend the rest of our lives marooned here! Hell, we can't even survive for more than a few days here! Our meals won't last that long!"

Yue snorted. "Oh, don't panic. A little excavation and rappelling like that is old hat for Library Club member. Who do you think they finally _really_called to get out those Chilean miners? We just have to wait. It's not like we'll run out of food."

"Is true!" Ku Fei pointed up at the birds nestling between the branches. "We have enough to eat for a lifetime-aru! Good sport! Birds! Eggs! Roots and wild fruits! Fish!"

"I think I saw a few bunnies hopping between the grass too..." Kaede added.

Yue pointed. "Actually, I was talking about that vending machine full of food and soda next to the toilets."

Haruna seemed to grow interested about the idea. "That sounds so hot! A full life of nothing but screwi— reading and drawing, surrounded by hotti— good friends, in eternal peace and tranquility! Oh, that's very appealing, in a forbidden, exciting, social taboo, garden of virgins way!"

"No I will not let you desecrate Laptop-kun's grave!-!-!" Chisame snapped at her.

"And we even have the most important thing- A MAN!" Haruna squealed, suddenly hugging Negi against herself as she ignored Chisame.

"Ah? Me? Why?" the teacher blinked a lot. "No, seriously, I'm sure they'll come for us any minute now..."

Kaede yawned and stretched her arms up. "In any case, if they come right now, they'll find us asleep. It's too dark already, and we've done a lot for today-de gozaru. Regardless, we need to leave someone at watch at all times. Ku, can you take the first turn?"

The Chinese girl nodded firmly. "Okay! I'm not feeling sleepy yet-aru!"

Negi sighed, pulled the blanket out of his backpack and headed with it behind a large bookshelf. "See you tomorrow, then..."

"Hey, Sensei!" Haruna patted the ground next to her. "You don't need to wander alone into potentially dangerous ground! You can sleep here with us!"

"Not with you," Yue shot her a glare. "I can tell what you're thinking! It's written all over your face! And wipe that drool off your mouth!"

"Oh?" Paru smirked down at her. "Offering to sleep with him instead, Yue-Yue?"

Yue jerked back with a fierce blush, then looked back at the anxious Baka Ranger faces behind her. Out of everyone there, the only ones she trusted Negi's virginity to were Asuna, Chisame and herself. "Yes," she nodded with grim determination. "Yes, I do."

"Waiiii, that's my Yue!" Haruna cooed.

"I could never possibly—" Negi began.

Chisame groaned, laying her own blanket down. "Aw, cut the usual theatrics short, okay? You know you'll sleepwalk here anyway, so let's just save us the headache. Bring your butt back here and go sleep already," she mumbled, lying down and patting the space next to her, much to everyone's shock.

He nodded miserably, obeying like a well-trained puppy. "Y-Yes, Chisame-san..." He lay behind her and closed his eyes very tightly.

The other girls stood aghast for a few moments, until Yue drew in a breath and lay down at Negi's other side. Haruna immediately plopped herself down behind her, happily wrapping an arm around Yue, and then Negi, pressing them against herself in a way an outsider might have called actually maternal.

Yue sighed. One way or another, Haruna always had it her way. She was very Burger King like that. "Haruna, stop trying to fondle my nipples."

Haruna grinned unrepentantly. "Sorry," she said, though she _did_ take her hand away.

Kaede softly urged Asuna forward, and with a grumble of discomfort, the redhead took the blanket at Chisame's other side. Makie lay down behind her, and Kaede was the last one to take her place.

Chisame opened her eyes again to give Ku a warning look. "If you see someone touching anyone else at any inappropriate spot, wake us all up, got that?"

"Got it!" the dark skinned girl gave a thumbs-up, sitting on one of the boxes in a vigilant lotus position. Mildly comforted, Chisame closed her eyes back and relaxed into sleep, Negi already dozing while hugging her midsection.

And all the meanwhile, what was of the rescue efforts? Glad you asked, long suffering reader...

* * *

><p>"Flashlights?" Satomi dryly said, standing before her creation at the gates of the Library.<p>

Chachamaru turned her lights on and off. "Working perfectly."

"Infrared vision?" the scientist asked.

"100% functional."

"Hidden weaponry?"

"All of it working at full capacity."

"Self-destruct device?"

"I really hope it isn't needed..."

"So do I," Hakase sighed. "In any case, I suppose you are ready to go down now."

"Please bring Chisame-sama safe and sound!" Matoi threw herself at Chachamaru's feet, bawling her eyes out. "Oh, and I guess Negi-sensei too. Everyone else, ehhh, whatever..." she said before breaking into tears again. "But please, whatever you do, bring my beloved princess back from that filthy pit, safe from the claws of the Kagurazaka harpy!"

"I'll do everything in my power," Chachamaru nodded, then reached for a large backpack full with clothes. "Is everything in here, Hakase-san?"

"Yes, it is. But, are you sure they all will need changes of clothes?" her creator asked.

"Through my observations and recollections of your recent exploits, you seem to have a high tendency to lose all articles of clothing during situations of danger. Especially Hasegawa-san," the robot droned. "As they say, 'Better safe than sorry'".

Matoi paused before saying, "You can bring her naked. I won't mind lovingly dressing her up personally..."

Chachamaru looked into her databanks for a good way of telling Tsunetsuki Chisame wouldn't like that without offending her. Since her databanks were written by Chao and Hakase, however, she couldn't find that much in the way of subtlety. "I... I will act accordingly given the situation at hand..." she promised before bowing to Hakase, then turning around to walk into the library, following the missing explorers' steps.

Matoi sat at a corner to cry. "I don't know what I will do if I lose her...!"

Satomi crouched down next to her, patting her on a shoulder. "I'm sure Chachamaru will accomplish her mission successfully before the scheduled time..."

The older girl sobbed, rubbed her reddened eyes and nodded. Ah, Hakase-san's small hand felt so warm and comforting on her shoulder...

* * *

><p>Back at 2-A, Sakurako shuddered abruptly. "Jealousy Sense... Tingling!"<p>

Madoka looked at her. "Huh? What are you saying now?"

Shiina grumbled cutely. "A girl knows when those things happen. Trust me. You'll feel it eventually too..."

Madoka dismissed it off on both fronts. "That's silly. No one has that kind of sixth sense, and even if you did, who else could be interested on Hakase, and be with her right now? Tsunetsuki? Everyone knows she's ga-ga over Chisame..."

Then, all of a sudden, she had an ill feeling of her own. She tried to ignore it, even as, at the other side of the school, Kyon was having a tender post-rescue moment with one Nagato Yuki.

_"I like girls without glasses better..."_

Ayaka, meanwhile, addressed the rest of the class like a drill sergeant from hell.

"Listen, and listen well! As we all know now, but our readers might need reminding, if a single one of us fails that test, Negi-sensei's young, promising life will be RUINED FOREVER worse than Stephenie Meyer's credibility, and we'll never see him again! So, while praying for him and the Baka Rangers and Chisame-sam... I mean, Hasegawa-san and the four eyed pervert to be rescued in time, we're going to need you all to do your part as well! That means we'll be studying extra-hard for the next two days! Even the slackers! And I mean you too, Tatsumiya-san! And you, Evangeline-san!"

Mana finished counting her money and nodded. "For this kind of payment, I'd have the entrance exam for the MIT mastered by Monday."

"Hey, I want to get paid too!" Yuuna said.

Ayaka tossed her that glare. "Akashi-san... Don't you consider your continued healthy existence to be enough payment from life as it is?"

Yuuna got the clue and gulped. "Like I was saying, I think I'll just need some help with Math..."

Evangeline groaned, lazily flipping through a book. "I guess I have nothing better to do this weekend…"

Ayaka nodded energetically. "Good! That's what I want to hear!" She quickly pulled her cellphone out and accessed a number on speed dial. "Hakase-san? How is it going? Good. Keep me informed of every development. Roger." She changed the call to another line. "Fubuki-san? You got all your contacts ready? If Chachamaru-san doesn't make it in time, I want you to bring them over immediately. No, I don't care if Okajima-san thinks they're too expensive. We always can write them off as a public service. Yes, that includes your old friend Kogarashi-san. I don't care! All I care about is he gets results! Yes, and Deadpool-san too! No, I don't care if he's busy with another job right now! That's crap! I _know_ him having a contract with SCM to star in a fic is crap, SCM doesn't use Marvel people! Tell him to abort! Not in those exact terms, of course; he's gone enough to try and interpret it literally... He'd find a way, trust me..."

The other students looked at each other nervously.

"Chizu-nee?" Natsumi asked weakly. "You know her better than anyone else. What is she...?"

_"There are things I'm as wary to learn about as you are, Natsumi-chan. And let's leave it at that,"_ her roommate whispered back.

* * *

><p>The first bad thing about sleeping with Yue, and Haruna knew it well, was she always was an ace at defending herself in her sleep. The second bad thing, and Haruna knew that even better, was she needed to wake up to use the bathroom at least twice a night. Not like Negi even noticed it. The little guy was a heavy sleeper, definitely, although the way he muttered in dreams so much clearly spoke of a troubled mind for some reason. Haruna's dad was like that too.<p>

Vaguely, while waiting for Yue to come back from the toilet, the mangaka wondered what kind of troubling past someone as cute and innocent as Negi could have. Silently, she reached over with a hand to gently stroke his cheek. For once, it was not lustful or lecherous, only tender and kind.

_Up in Yggdrassil, Skuld was temporarily overwhelmed as she directed junior trainees to redirect all the snow away from hell, and for Pete's sake, could someone please give Mini-Garm a dog biscuit before he tried to eat the sun? AGAIN?_

He reacted in the same way, slowly moving into her, cuddling against her front with a tiny cooing sound. The artist blinked, actually feeling a curious stirring in her heart, something she hadn't ever felt in the longest of times, since the first time she met Nodoka and Yue, actually. It wasn't the usual urge to playfully touch, squeeze and then enjoy the ensuing indignant reactions. It was something else, a strange desire to simply and peacefully enjoy someone else's warmth in a chaste, sincere way, for the mere sake of it.

Haruna wondered briefly if she hadn't hit her head a bit too strongly in the fall.

Still, and just like always, she acted according to her wishes and embraced Negi against herself, gleefully hearing him making small satisfied yawns while resting his head on her bosom. "Sis... You bought new pillows..."

As his arm rose up to rest on one of her shoulders, she saw the two marks on his wrist. One of them was vanishing slowly as dawn approached. Haruna frowned, intrigued. Her eyes travelld over to where Kaede sat guard, and she realized the Shinobi had noticed the same thing. Both girls shared a shrug of shoulders, but also seemed still quite puzzled about it.

Then Yue sleepily waddled in between Haruna and Negi, shielding the former against the latter with her own body, grumbling while setting herself. "Watch your hands..." She also registered the odd fact about his self erasing wrist marks vaguely, even if she was too sleepy to give it solid thought right then.

Haruna sighed. "I wasn't doing anything like that. Just ask Kaede."

Yue still huffed, then cringed as Negi's hands fell on her instead. They were very cold. With a blush and an uncomfortable gurgle, the half-asleep girl pulled his blankets higher up, then eased him back against Chisame's back. Then she sighed as well, pulling his hands off Chisame's butt and forcing them to rest higher.

Haruna giggled. "His man instincts are starting to show."

"We're all just too close, that's all," Yue tightened her eyes and went back to sleep.

The next morning was pretty much a repeat of the morning before, with Negi pressing the Baka Rangers into studying even more, making steady progresses with each passing hour. But both narrating and reading that for a long span is boring as HELL when you probably have it wonderfully rendered in manga, so in the meantime, let's move back to monitoring Chachamaru's advance...

* * *

><p><em>Level Four:<em>

"Young lady..." the forbidden book's evil voice called out clearly to Chachamaru."Come here. Take me and read me. Through me, you shall be able to dominate all your enemies, burying them under the unending ashes of a dying world! Yes, that is it. Walk closer. Closer. Are you tempted? I can tell you are..."

The gynoid picked the book up calmly, scanning it up and down. She had no files on it, but its covers were obviously made out of actual human skin, and its presence was not too unlike that of the Master. "Excuse me, Book-san, but I'm short on time. Please do be brief."

"Brief? BRIEF?-!-?" it shouted. "Foolish mortal, I am the Necronomicon! Evil itself given form! I am the harbinger of all doom and ruin for mankind! I shall be as long winded as I want! For mine is the power over all dead, my Army of Darkness!"

It really was like the Master in more ways than one.

She put it back on the shelf politely. "I'm sorry, but I really cannot stay to chat. However, once I'm done with my assignment, I promise I'll come back for you. I'll even take you to Master Evangeline. I'm sure you will like her..."

The cover's bloodshot eyes shot themselves open to their max, prey to a sudden horror. "Evangeline?! Evangeline A.K. McDowell?!"

Chachamaru nodded. "Do you know her?"

"Are... Are you her servant?!"

She nodded again.

The book stammered nervously. "D-D-Does she still keep that creepy doll around...?"

"Chachazero? Why, yes. She is my older sister..."

The book whimpered pitifully, actually attempting to push itself deeper into the shelf. "F-Forget you ever met me, please. And don't ever tell them you found me, will you? I... I beg you..."

"Okay," Chachamaru simply said, then turned around and walked away without a second thought. "Have a nice day, Necronomicon-san."

The accursed tome sobbed to itself. "This kind of crap never happens to the Book of Darkness..."

Another book farther down said, "Ooh, Necry's been cockblocked!"

"Shut up, Octavo…"

_Level Five:_

Chachamaru simply flew all the way over the deep, black, icy waters.

A three-eyed fished stared as she passed, then began to swim away. _That doesn't bode well… maybe I'll visit cousin George over at Springfield…_

_Level Six:_

"Critical temperature level has been reached. Activating self-cooling protocols."

She started fanning herself with a hand. Not the most spectacular and complex of her functions, but it still took her unharmed to the exit.

Sometimes, just sometimes, Chao did think simple plans were the best.

_Level Seven:_

The evil and highly depraved things in the darkness allowed her a free pass through the chambers as soon as they noticed she was wearing the same school uniform as the ninja.

_Level Eight:_

"Hakase-san? I have just reached the eight level. Everything has been going well so far. No, I have taken no damage at all. Yes, I have been taking good care of myself. No, I won't allow myself to rust... I'm immune to rusting, remember? Yes, yes, I'll watch my temperature levels too... No, I haven't sneezed even a single time..."

Mothers. Honestly…

_Level Nine:_

She took only a few brief moments to kneel down and pray for the poor huge reptiles' transit to an unlikely better afterlife. She knew both Hakase and the Master would be angry at her for having such expressions of groundless faith, but she couldn't help it. She felt bad for the poor once living things. And as Death-chan had told her when she was activated, life was what made dying a big deal. A good thing she had a good memory.

She'd have to hold a serious talk with Ku Fei on the matter. Her footprints were all over them.

_Level Ten:_

Now this was a tough one for her, until she briefly switched to Illiteracy Mode to survive it until the exit. Even so, she'd have electric nightmares about those illustrations on the Jack Chick Kamasutras and GUST doujin lying open around so carelessly for years.

And then, finally, she reached the eleventh level as well.

* * *

><p>As she advanced inside of the cavernous, gigantic chamber, the gynoid adjusted her eyes, giving herself a much better view of the darkness. She scanned all over the footprints on the floor, confirming her teacher and all of her missing classmates had, indeed, made it to that point at the very least. However, their tracks disappeared at the edge of a huge square hole at the middle of the room, seemingly leading down a very deep pit.<p>

Her situation processor began sending cautionary messages. On one hand, she had no knowledge of Negi-sensei being able to fly without his staff, and he had left that at home that night. As a matter of fact, she was carrying it on her back right then, since Hakase had sent her to give it back to him.

On the other hand, she had just noticed the giant armored statue standing behind her had moved, slowly lumbering in her direction.

Her jet feet flared up, quickly taking her up, as she assumed a fighting stance in midair. The robot hovered over the abyss, her cold face barely showing any emotion. Well, less emotion than usual.

"HALT!" the statue spoke. Chachamaru noticed there was another platform next to the one it had stood on moments before, leading her to believe there was another such being somewhere around. **"HAVE YOU COME FOR THE BOOK OF WISDOM? ALL THOSE WHO SEARCH FOR IT MUST ANSWER MY QUERIES FIRST!"**

"I have come for Negi Springfield and his exploration team," Chachamaru said. "What do you know about their whereabouts?"

The giant seemed to hesitate before answering, "**THEY HAVE FAILED OUR TESTS! IF YOU WANT TO SEE THEM, YOU SHALL HAVE TO CORRECTLY ANSWER MY QUESTIONS!"**

"I have a question of my own," she asked politely, "Did you send them to the place you send all those who fail your tests?"

**"YES!"**

"Then shouldn't I fail your test as well?"

**"NO!"**

"But if I succeed, why should I be sent with those who failed?"

**"WELL, YOUR GOAL IS—"**

"My primary goal is finding them and bringing them back to Mahora Academy safely. My secondary goal is retrieving the book as well. But to do the former, I must fail, shouldn't I? And to achieve the latter, I'd have to succeed..."

**"THE IDEA IS NOT TO FAIL!"**

"Then, if I succeed, will I be sent with those who failed it? It fails to be logical. I assume you must be lying from the very start."

**"I AM THE HONORABLE GUARDIAN OF THE SACRED BOOK! I DO NOT LIE!"**

With remarkable ease and calm, she flew over to the book, picked it up, dodged a few huge boulders dropping down at the activated trap, and looked back at the Golem. "I have cheated. Have I failed?"

**"YES! YES, YOU HAVE!"**

"But I do have the book. In that sense, cannot it be said I have succeeded, as well?"

**"OF COURSE NOT!"**

"... Are you sure you aren't lying?"

**"I TOLD YOU, I NEVER COULD LIE!"**

"Then send me with them."

**"I SHALL NOT!"**

"You told me you sent them to the place you send all those who fail. I have failed, ergo I must be sent there as well. Or else, you have lied in your initial statement. Otherwise, I have succeeded, and in that case, you have lied, as well. Additionally, if I succeeded, I should be allowed to keep the book, and also to be reunited with them, since you promised I'd be reunited with them if I could—"

**"NO! NO! YOU HAVE FAILED! YOU CANNOT BE SENT WITH THOSE WHO FAILED!"**

"But you said—"

**"I KNOW WHAT I SAID!"**

"Then you know you said you'd send all those who failed to that place, and that you'd send me to that place if I succeeded. That means I must be brought with them, no matter if I failed or not. Unless you are—"

**"I AM NOT LYING!"**

"There is no need to be so loud, Golem-san."

The titan buried its face between its oversized hands.

"Never mind, then," she bowed. "I can find my own way to them. Down there, am I right?" she began to fly down the pit.

**"NO!"** It reached down with a hand to pull her back**. "AND GIVE THAT BOOK BACK!"**

She never lost her composure. "**'NO'** as in **'NO, THEY AREN'T THERE'**, or as in **'NO, YOU CAN'T GO THERE'**?"

**"..."**

"You cannot lie, Golem-san," she reminded it.

**"... AS IN 'YOU CANNOT GO THERE'"** it gave up.

"I see."

She tucked the book into her backpack and raised her small fists. "Would you feel better if we solved this with some primal, uncivilized brutality?"

It nodded, preparing its large fists as well. **"THANK YOU."**

"I am against violence, but if you actually prefer it this way, I'll honor your wishes, as our host and elder."

**"ELDER? WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY— I MEAN, I APPRECIATE IT," **it said sincerely after a brief bout of confusion, and then it threw the first punch. Chachamaru easily blocked it with her arms.

And so, it began.

* * *

><p>The whole room quaked and rumbled as the two of them traded blows, the comparatively tiny and more human-like machine flying around the lumbering, but also deceptively fast at the worst possible times, titan. Like a wasp, she struck at precise intervals and at precise points, barely denting it with each hit, but also augmenting the amount of damage bit by bit with each new connecting surgical strike.<p>

The giant, on the other hand, landed hits more rarely, but when it did, they invariably slammed Chachamaru into a wall, or the floor, sending large cracks and fissures through them, splitting them more and more each time.

They clashed time and time again, neither willing to submit, highly mismatched in size but never in power. However, the ancient room they were in couldn't hold on as much as they could. And so, before long, they had to look up when they heard the roof collapsing down on them, its supporting pillars coming crashing down like broken twigs.

Chachamaru dodged the first few chunks of debris with amazing agility and speed, but as they kept coming down larger and heavier, they started hitting her; not causing any serious damage yet, but still making her to look for an exit. She attempted to duck for the pit, but a major piece of ceiling fell on it, covering the whole hole up before she could reach it. Given enough time, she could move it away with ease, but time was something she didn't have as the whole world seemed to collapse on top of her...

Then, to her dawning awe, she saw the large Golem reaching up to hold the ceiling up for her, shielding her up with its own mass, even as it became clear even he couldn't stop it anymore. As everything fell upon them, and even as Chachamaru's visual sensors went off-line, it still wouldn't stop trying to protect the very same enemy it had been fighting moments before.

_... Chachamaru Programs Back Online. Switching to reserve batteries. Starting command, Waking Up._

She opened her green eyes, interrupting her internal screen-saver consisting of pictures of kittens, Negi and her master scowling cutely. She scanned the area, then herself, finding herself buried under tons of debris, but not actually damaged enough to be considered unable to continue her mission. Looking up, she saw the hulking living suit of armor still arched over her, protecting her from the brunt of the disaster with its own body.

Looking into her internal timer, she noticed at least seven hours had passed by, probably more if her time measuring devices had been affected in some way. Yet the giant still was in the exact same position it had been when she was shut down. Of course, it had been pinned down by rocks as well, but she believed it could have freed itself, even if it meant allowing her to be crushed instead.

"Golem-san..." she said, crawling out from under it, standing up, and offered a tiny hand to it, a sign of help.

It shook its head. **"NO."**

"Why not?"

**"YOU HAVE PASSED THE TEST. YOU CAN REJOIN YOUR COMRADES NOW."**

"I won't leave without the certainty you're okay."

**"I WILL BE OKAY. I HAVE NO NEED OF YOUR HELP. NOW GO."**

"But—"

**"I HAVE TOLD YOU, I CANNOT LIE. I AM IN NO DANGER. LEAVE ME. YOUR FRIENDS HAVE NEED FOR YOU."**

She hesitated before bowing. "Thank you very much, Golem-san."

She walked over to the boulders now covering the pit's mouth, pushing them away one by one. Once her task was done, she looked back at the half-fallen, precarious but determined colossus.

"I'll be back to help you as soon as I can, Golem-san. I promise."

The gynoid jumped down, her jet feet turned on again, and she flew down into the eerily quiet darkness with no fear at all.

The golem sighed, its voice briefly changing to that of a dry-sounding, tired old man.

"Such a good girl..."

* * *

><p>After a long, hard, sweaty... day of studying, Negi had finally given the students his approval and permission to go relax. They had made surprising advances in such a short span, reinforcing his theory of them all, even Asuna and Makie, actually being good learners that usually just didn't put any effort into it. The most triumphant example of that theory, Yue, had gone to lie down under a palm tree, sighing as she enjoyed a good read through one of her favorite Oberon Sexton books.<p>

"Hey, Yue!" Ku Fei called out. "Still reading? We already had enough of that for one day-aru!"

"This isn't just reading, it's feeding the soul," Ayase reverently said, her eyes fixed on the pages and her bare feet clenching their toes up and down without her being aware of it, in her reading ecstasy.

Makie, meanwhile, was standing slightly to one side, carefully sniffing under one of her armpits, then making a short dash for one of the lagoons.

"Hey there, Makie-dono!" Kaede easily caught up to her, with Ku and Asuna following at a slower pace. "Where are you going?"

"Huh? Oh, well, I was just thinking... I was feeling kinda grungy after all this time, so...!" the pink haired girl giggled with some embarrassment.

"Not a bad idea at all," Kaede nodded placidly. "Mind if I join you? Truth be told, I'm reeking a bit, too..."

Yue looked up from her book as they disappeared, then nervously pulled out another book she'd hidden in the stack next to her. It read; _The Illustrated Kamasutra for Loli Pettankos Who Want to Seduce Their Best Friend…_

Several feet and trees away, Negi examined the only mark left at his wrist by now. Only one more day, and his magic would return in full force. Then again, it'd be worth nothing if it returned after the test was over. Their only hope now was to be rescued before that time came.

To distract his mind from concerns he couldn't fix, he started examining the books on the shelves again. It didn't stop to amaze him how pristine and well kept they were, despite being at the open in a tropical, humid climate with no caretakers in sight. And underwater in some areas, of course. He made a mental note to investigate the reasons later, if he could keep on teaching at Mahora.

Grabbing a book on mythical beasts, and comparing its contents to what he had learned in cryptozoology class at Merdiana, he read on as he walked, so absorbed in it he didn't even actually notice the soft splashes of water and feminine laughs right ahead of him until he stumbled into the small, crystalline lagoon where Ku, Asuna, Makie and Kaede all bathed together, standing in their full naked glory and splashing each other, with the water reaching up to their knees.

"WHA—?-!" he yelped as he backed away quickly, as if a scorpion had just stung him.

"Wha... HEY!" Asuna rushed to cover her naughty bits with her hands. "Damn perverted brat! Couldn't you hear we were here?!"

"I'm s-so sorry!" he stammered, putting his hands over his eyes. "I didn't realize you were here, seriously!"

The other three Baka Rangers, however, just laughed it off good-naturedly. Makie did cover herself by wrapping her clothes around her slender body, but Kaede and Ku still weren't bothering.

"Take it easy, Asuna-dono," the statuesque Shinobi said without a care in the world. "Negi-bouzou's just passing through a delicate stage in life-de gozaru..."

"Yeah, when boys at our tribe start getting those urges, we understand it's important not to scold them or shame them -aru. It's just natural," the Chinese girl lectured calmly. "So we take them to one of the local... ah... 'happy women' of the village. Or a sister who also needs to learn these things too. Or a cute cousin. Or a cool aunt. Or find someone like Haruna-chan. Or…"

_"Good thing we have Haruna-dono around, then,"_ Kaede whispered with a conspirational wink, and the other girls laughed.

"WHAT KIND OF VILLAGE DID YOU GROW UP, KU?-!-?-!-?-!-?-!" Asuna cried, absolutely crimson.

"I-I-I don't know what are you talking about, but I can feel it's... improper, so stop doing it!" the boy protested, turning around shaking, asking himself why he couldn't take those brief wonderful images out of his mind, and why he was kinda feeling a sudden rush of blood down to his lower body. "Look... I know it's my fault, right? Sorry! I-I-I didn't get to see anything, anyway!"

Kaede huffed. "Not even the beauty mark over my right butt cheek?"

Negi paused. "... Wasn't it the left one?"

"BRAT! YOU SAW!" Asuna roared.

"Ha ha! I knew it!" Nagase laughed.

"YAAAHHHH! I APOLOGIZEEEE!" he blushed from head to toe and ran away almost faster than Misora.

As he disappeared in a small cloud of dust between the trees, Asuna fumed, allowing her hands to hang at her sides again, but the other students just kept on guffawing.

"Oh, he's so adorable when he's like that! You saw his face?" Makie rubbed her eyes.

"Yeah, but just give him a couple of years and he'll be singing different tune..." Ku patted herself on a thigh, still chuckling cagily.

"Maybe not even that much," Kaede observed. "He just went the way Haruna-dono took a while ago, so..."

"You guys are horrible," Asuna mumbled, before looking in that direction again, asking with some concern, "So, is Haruna really over there?"

"Unless she fell into some deadly trap of nature, yes," Kaede nodded.

Asuna's eyebrows trembled. "... Maybe we should go save him."

"What doesn't kill us only makes us stronger," Kaede waved a finger.

Meanwhile, Negi's sprint slowed down as he panted, more out of nervousness than any physical exhaustion. How shameful! What kind of teacher was he? How could he look his students in the face ever again? Would he even want to? As a matter of fact, could he ever stare at any part of Kaede but her breasts ever aga— No, he was getting even worse! Somehow, he knew it was all Chamo's fault. What should he do next? Should he apologize to them that night? Or go back right no— No, that sounded bad too! Would Asuna ever forgive him? What should he do to make up for her? And why did she have even less hair down there than Mak— No, bad thought again, bad thought again!

Well, he was sure of one thing. From then on, he'd be much more careful! He'd never foolishly run into an uncomfortable, indecent scene like that again!

A second later, he heard strange splashing sounds coming from another nearby lake and quickly peeked over a nearby huge boulder, trying to see if it was some sign of danger.

What he saw there made him gasp aloud.

…

In shock and surprise, not for any other reason.

…

_**REALLY!**_

* * *

><p>Albireo Imma was having a completely average day. Get up, prepare breakfast, spy on people, feed his pet dragon, troll some losers around the internet forums, write some highly inflammatory articles in Encyclopedia Dramatica, see some naked schoolgirls bathing in the waters not far from his house…<p>

Albireo froze, hurriedly backtracking to make sure he'd seen that right. Yup, there they were: lots of naked teenaged schoolgirls, horsing around in the water, molesting one another…

The member of Ala Rubra clapped his hands together, looking soulfully upwards. "On behalf of Ala Rubra, I would like to formally apologize to the heavens for that time we let Jack drags us up there to steal goddess panties. You have my most sincere thanks for your forgiveness and blessing."

With that, he went to gather some biographical recording gear, binoculars, and video equipment. My, Asuna-chan had filled out rather nicely. Not that he was looking at her specifically, but STILL! He was a long-haired, robe-wearing, textually sexually-ambivalent who looked like he filed the camp-gay quota, not _**DEAD!**_ And Asuna _had_ filled out nicely…

* * *

><p>Skuld stared at the trainee in front of her. "One of Ala Rubra finally apologized?" she said, disbelieving.<p>

The trainee– Flonne, her nametag said– nodded.

Skuld facepalmed. "He picked now of all times… more snow in hell?"

Flonne nodded again.

Skuld sighed. "Come on… let's get back to work…"

Flonne sighed as she followed her supervisor. "I wonder if my penpal Etna has days like this…"

* * *

><p>"Finally, a snow day!" Etna cried, holding her snowboard. "Vacation!"<p>

"Vacation!" everyone else chorused.

And there was much rejoicing…

* * *

><p>Negi gasped, literally paralyzed, as he saw Chisame gracefully swimming through the pristine waters of the lake, the graceful curves of her back and butt clearly visible under the bright sunlight. Her long hair floated around her in a mesmerizing way. The idea abruptly came to Negi's mind, telling him it was the most beautiful scene he had ever seen...<p>

And then the backlash washed over him like icy water, moving him to turn around, with a hand on his chest, admonishing himself again. Why was he turning into a Peeping Tom? Nekane would've been so disappointed if she ever learned that! He had to run away to some private and lonely place, far away from water, until everyone had finished bathing. Yeah, that was it. He wouldn't look again, no matter what he would hear...

Then he heard Chisame's shrill shriek, and immediately looked over the rock again, jolted up by his alarmed nerves.

He gasped once more.

Negi sucks at keeping promises, doesn't he? Must be a Springfield thing…

Haruna had just broken through the surface right behind his roommate, as naked as she was, and had clung onto her back like a mischievous bear pounding on an unfortunate prey. The mangaka giggled crazily as she pressed her breasts on the other girl's back, enjoying seeing her squirm and thrash around in a vain attempt to shake the stronger, slightly bigger girl off herself.

"DAMMIT, SAOTOME!" Chisame yelled. "LEMME GO! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!"

"Really?" Haruna cooed into her ear. "Then tell me... Why are you laughing?!" she teased, her fingers quickly coming to Chisame's sides and skillfully tickling the area over her ribs, so masterfully Hasegawa began to guffaw against her will almost on the spot.

"No... No!" she protested, trying to hold her laughter back and sound indignant at the same time. "Hee hee... Haruna, no! I'm going to kick your ass so hard..."

"Then I won't be able to let you go..." Haruna kept on teasing mercilessly, rubbing herself only once over Chisame's back, but that was more than enough to cover the other girl's skin with goosebumps. The fingers tickled again, eliciting more reluctant laughter. "Although, if you promise you'll kick my bare ass with your bare foot, I might be tempted to concede. Are they as soft as the rest of you...?"

Chisame tried to head-butt her in the chin. "I told you to stop, you psycho! Hentai!"

"Oh, but I'm hardly alone there..." Haruna lowered her voice playfully, giving Chisame's right earlobe a very brief lick. "I saw what you did with Negi-kun back there," she accused, making Chisame blush and gasp. Negi also blushed and gasped even more, remembering the events of the fall with clarity now. "Naughty girl, and after committing yourself to Asuna, too..."

"Only... only you would be crazy enough to spy on others while falling to your doom..." Chisame panted, as the tickling briefly stopped allowing her to catch her breath. The grasp on her, however, still was iron-hard. "Look, the Asuna thing... We had to do it, otherwise, everyone would have piled up on me..."

"Kazumi told me you put far too much enthusiasm into it for all of it to be faked," Haruna said, her hands now cupping Chisame's breasts firmly. For some reason, the hacker was unable to fight back. "Don't sweat. I won't judge you. All I ask is for you not to judge me in turn, when we really are the same..."

"I'm not... like you!" she protested. "I'm not a... a dirty...!"

"A dirty what? A dirty girl who likes boys and girls?"

Chisame clenched her teeth. "I don't like girls... or little boys..."

"Oh. I guess that explains why you French them," Haruna piously posed.

"I'm not... I don't like..." she panted, wondering why was Haruna's touch exciting her so much, and why hadn't she killed her yet. "I'm not like you at all..." she repeated.

"Silly Chi-chan," Haruna blew on her face. "If you don't want to cheat on them, you should admit you're into both sides of the fence, starting with yourself. Be honest about it. Say that..." her hands moved down to a relatively safer position over her ribs, "... and I'll let you go."

"You bitch," she grunted. "I'm not like you. I'm not... ahhh..." she jerked as she was pinched in the butt. "Viagra-powered rabbit, hitting on anything that crosses your path..."

"It's all in the name of harmless fun, Chi-chan," Haruna purred again. "And everyone knows what to expect from me. Now, leading two people around while no one suspects it? That's truly bad. Really _awful_. You can't half-do things. Either be like me, or be an actual straight and narrow girl. Or hell, not-straight but narrow girl. No one will bash you for it. Certainly not me..."

Chisame shook her head stubbornly. "I'm not an abnormal..."

"Bad word!" Haruna's fingers tickled her again, making her double in hilarious agony. "I told you, I won't let you go until you've admitted it to yourself! I only want to help you!"

"Screw... your help..."

Haruna never became angry, instead softly kissing the back of her neck. At that point, it was like watching a train wreck for Negi. It was so bizarre and... horrible...?... and yet, he couldn't stop staring, his rational mind in the freezer.

"Afterwards, we can do that," Haruna said. "Did you like kissing Asuna?"

"No..." Chisame lied.

"And Negi-kun?"

She was about to deny it again, but somehow couldn't form the words. She shuddered in Haruna's embrace, blushing and furiously pulling her own head down. "Y-Y-Yes..." she mumbled in defeat, low enough for Negi to be unable to hear her, not like he could have processed the information anyway.

Haruna looked down at her, feeling some pity for her current state. Maybe she had gone too far, she told herself in what had to be a first time.

_"More biscuits for Garm!" Skuld cried. "Get all that snow out of hell already! What? A new snowfall? DARN IT!"_

Reluctantly, Haruna allowed the soft, wet body in her arms to go. "Well... That's a start..."

In that very moment, Chisame swung a fist into her stomach. "You slut!" she cried tearfully.

Haruna gasped for air, stumbling back and falling on her butt. "I guess... I guess I deserved that..." she wheezed while Chisame stood over her fuming with fury, fists balled up.

Negi fell down to his knees, still unnoticed. He was sweating bullets, the old Evangeline wound at the back of his neck ached like heck, and there was something very wrong with his crotch. He pushed it down with his fists, somehow realizing instinctively it was supposed to be a bad thing, and in truth, the pain of hitting it so hard caused it to go back to normal. He sighed in relief, until he heard the feminine screams coming from down the place.

He stayed sitting there, closing his eyes. Okay, this time he WAS going to stick to his guns. No looking at all, no sir.

"NEGI-KUN! CHI-CHAN, PARU-CHAN!" Makie was screaming. "THAT ROCK STATUE GUY'S HERE!"

He re-opened his eyes and sighed, jumping back to his feet in a flash.

* * *

><p>"SOMEBODY HELP ME!" a helpless Makie cried, kicking and waving her arms while caught in the massive closed hand of the fearsome living statue standing at the middle of the lagoon. "NEGI-KUN! ASUNA! KAEDE!"<p>

The other girls and Negi quickly gathered around them, all of them so shaken by shock, the nudity of all the girls but Yue was not even registering as a factor anymore. Yue was frantically trying to stick a book deep inside her bag.

"Makie-chan!" Asuna screamed.

**"HO HO HO HO!"** the statue's deep voice boomed so loudly it shook the foliage of all nearby trees. **"YOU CANNOT ESCAPE ME! NOT EVEN HERE! SO GIVE YOURSELVES UP NOW, BAD, LAZY STUDENTS!"**

Haruna lifted an eyebrow up. "Give ourselves up to you? Why, Mr. Rock... We've just met..."

The golem seemed actually taken aback by those words for a moment. **"THAT— THAT IS NOT WHAT I—"**

"Liar!" Haruna accused, pointing at him. "You're firmly grabbing Makie-chan's tempting, wet and virginal naked body!"

"His fingers are at my boobies!" Makie yelled.

It almost made a gasping sound as its fingers quickly moved away from her chest area and to a safer place, then continued, **"YOU WILL NEVER HAVE THE BOOK! GET OUT OF THIS ISLAND IMMEDIATELY!"**

"LET MAKIE-SAN GO!" Negi roared with sudden ferocity, so angry he forgot everything about both his lack of magic and the fact it needed to be secret, whipping his training wand out of a pocket and aiming it up at the titan. "YOU EVIL, INDECENT CREATURE!"

"Haruna's soul-mate!" Chisame spat with disgust.

Haruna's face twitched. "You know you loved it..."

Ku blinked. "Negi-bouzou, are you going to hit IT with that stick?"

**"HO?"** the golem looked down intently at it. "**WHY SHOULD I ACCEPT YOUR TERMS, CHILD?"**

"LET MY STUDENT GO, OR ELSE...!" he cried, then began chanting, much to Asuna and Chisame's horror, _"Rastel Maskil Magister... SAGITTA MAGICA!"_ He aimed at the monster's chest.

To quote the immortal words of Roronoa Zoro. _Nothing... Nothing happened._

"Ahhhhh..." the boy babbled, eyes swirling.

"Negi-kun..." Haruna began, "... No matter how crazy you act, you aren't going to scare him away."

Ku, Kaede, Yue and even Makie nodded slowly.

The golem rasped and added, **"I KNOW ABOUT YOUR TEST. AND YOUR DECEPTIVE PLANS FOR IT. GIVE UP! EVEN IF YOU DEPARTED NOW... YOU WOULD NOT GET THERE IN TIME!"**

"Shaddap!" Asuna stood her ground. "What is it to you, anyway? Just let Makie go, or else...!"

"OR ELSE, WHAT?"

Ku Fei and Nagase assumed fighting stances. "We'll be your opponents!" the Chinese girl growled.

"For the sake of a comrade, this one won't back off from anyone or anything-de gozaru!"

"Girls, no!" Negi gulped. "Stand back! You only could fight that thing with magic!"

Asuna covered his mouth with both hands. "D-Don't be stupid! M-Magic doesn't exist at all! Isn't that right, Chisame-chan?"

"Y-Yeah. Not at all..." Hasegawa agreed.

Haruna pointed at the golem. "Then... How do you explain it's walking and talking?"

"Animatronics," Chisame said.

"Mass hallucination," Asuna disagreed.

"The hallucination is grabbing my ass now!" Makie shrilled.

**"SORRY,"** it moved its fingers off Makie's buttocks. **"I DID NOT MEAN TO."**

"Yeah. Right," Haruna snorted. "Anyone would be tempted. Have you _seen_ her ass?"

The golem made quite a good impression of trying not to turn its head to look.

Then, without any warning, a green haired blur zoomed down from far above, landing with a loud thud on the golem's head, nearly drilling it down into the lagoon and making it to drop Makie.

"Aiiiieee!" the gymnast shrieked, but before Negi could even scream her name, Kaede had jumped up to safely catch her in her arms. "Ka-Kaede-chan!"

"It's all okay, Makie-dono. I'm here," the tall kunoichi said warmly as she landed on her feet a few meters away, then looked at the figure now standing on the golem's head, a neutral expression on her face.

Kaede smiled at her.

"And so is Chachamaru-dono."

* * *

><p>The golem rose back to its feet as Chachamaru flew down next to her eager classmates and teacher.<p>

"I have the book," she informed them, making their faces to light up. "Now we simply need to reach the surface in time for the test. Is everyone okay, Negi-sensei?"

"We are now!" Haruna grinned. "Way to go, Chacha-chan! We shoulda brought you from the start!"

**"GIVE THAT BOOK BACK!"** the giant commanded. **"HOW COULD YOU STEAL IT FROM MY FELLOW GUARDIAN'S HANDS?"**

"It technically was not a steal. He allowed me to keep it," the robot replied with unwavering calm. "Don't worry about your brother, Golem-san. He's in relatively good condition, although he'll likely need maintenance..."

"Wow, Chachamaru!" Ku gushed. "You managed to take the other rock giant down, all by yourself?"

She lowered her head. "I was... fortunate."

The golem still lumbered towards them. **"I DEMAND FOR A REPEAT OF THE TEST! THIS PROCEDURE HAS BEEN HIGHLY IRREGULAR!"**

"Anyone else thinks he sounds like Itoshiki-sensei, the way he complains?" Haruna said.

"We need a way out, quick!" Yue said. "We can't stay here wasting time and risking our lives against that thing!"

Chachamaru nodded while her eyes scanned the whole area. "I detect a hidden doorway behind those waterfalls. Ayase-san, please hold on to my back."

"S-Sure!" Yue gasped, jumping up to hug Chachamaru's back, right as the gynoid tucked the yelping Negi and Chisame under an arm each. Then she lifted off towards the waterfalls, as Kaede kept on carrying Makie, and Asuna, Haruna and Ku ran after them, forgetting everything else behind.

"Sensei, your staff is in my backpack," Chachamaru told Negi in mid-flight. "You should use it right now. Under these dangerous circumstances, you should prioritize your personal safety..."

"Chachamaru-san, even if I wanted to, I couldn't!" he protested.

"What are you talking about?!" Yue asked. "Why do you keep talking such nonsense?!"

"MASS HALLUCINATIONS!" Chisame yelled again.

**"COME BACK HERE!"** the golem shouted, in hot pursuit. **"ACCEPT YOUR DESTINY! PROVE YOUR INTELLIGENCE, IF YOU CAN!"**

Ku Fei growled, twisting a leg around to kick a gigantic boulder on her way, punting it straight into the golem's chest and sending it flying a few feet back. "Smart thing to do NOT staying back with you-aru!"

"Bravo, Ku-chan!" Haruna cheered. "That's some real leg power!"

"He he heh, thanks..." the Chinese blonde chuckled.

"Yeah... Long, powerful, well-toned, dark-skinned, nice, lean legs..."

At that point, the golem, who had rejoined the chase, slipped on some of Haruna's drool and fell flat on its face, allowing them some more time to put some distance between them.

"Glad to see you're doing your part too, Paru-dono!" Kaede approved.

"Oh, you know me!" she replied proudly. "Always doing my best in whatever I do!" She looked at the kunoichi's chest. "Very nice bounce, by the way!"

"Thanks. Yours is not bad either."

Chisame grimaced. "Next year, I'm _so_ asking for a class change."

Yue closed her eyes. "Yeah. I'll try to talk Nodoka into it, as well..."

"You'll pardon me if I try not to be in the same school as you."

"I was actually about to ask the same thing."

* * *

><p>Negi felt the icy flow of the waterfall washing over him as Chachamaru flew through it, gently setting him, Chisame and Yue down, facing the tall rock wall before them. The boy gasped in awe. Even with his magic being nullified, he could feel a faint pattern of magical energy dancing over the rock, drawing the contours of a door before them.<p>

Yue watched intently how he ran his fingers over the stony surface, his eyes wide and mesmerized, moments before part of the rocks moved aside to reveal a large gate leading into a tall and dark flight of upwards stairs.

"Well, who would have thought it...?" he laughed lamely. "What a stroke of luck...!"

"Right," Yue scowled with a disbelieving expression.

Right then, Ku, Kaede, Makie, Haruna and Asuna arrived at their side, the latter two panting frantically.

"Whooo!" Saotome wheezed. "How can such a huge thing run so fast...?!"

"You need refresher of whatever training you had before-de gozaru," Kaede told her. "You have a good basic conditioning, but you've let yourself go..."

"Leave the fitness advice for later!" Makie pointed up at the door. "Look! Chachamaru-chan unlocked a hidden way out!"

"Actually, it was—" Chachamaru stated, but Chisame hushed her with a finger on her lips. After a split second, Yue discreetly copied Hasegawa's action, and the robot nodded accordingly. "Never mind. I'll lead the way up in case there are any traps."

Without waiting for a reply, she dutifully headed up the steps. Behind them, the golem's walking thundered menacingly.

"Boy, talk about being between a rock and a hard place..." Asuna sweated. "But there's no time to think this over! Come on, everyone! We'll take our chances up there!"

She quickly ran up as well, making Negi to blush crimson as he got a full view of her behind.

"Oh, for the love of—!" Chisame pulled him up with her. "Stop gawking like an idiot! It's not as if it's the first time you've seen a naked woman!"

"HUH?-!-?" Makie, Haruna, Ku and Yue said at once. Kaede only chuckled.

"I-I-I WASN'T THAT WOMAN!" Chisame yelled while putting more speed into her feet, never looking back. No one was fooled.

"... bet she's had dozens of wild trios with him and Asuna already..." Haruna was muttering. "Hell, wouldn't shock me if they roped the Prof in too..."

"God helps me, I'm starting to agree with you on that..." Yue mumbled.

"And to think Father wanted to put this one at Tomobiki," Kaede commented amusedly. "This one is sure glad aunt Miko talked him out of it so she could continue this one's training…"

As Chachamaru ran up, she activated her communication links to the surface as well. _Hakase-san? It's me_.

_CHACHAMARU!_ the voice rang in her head, almost bawling. Was that really Hakase-san? The voice was a 99, 99998% match for hers, but she hadn't ever heard her bawling... well, not outside of the battle at the bridge. The memory confirmed it was, indeed, Hakase's voice when she sounded anguished. _Are you okay? How much of you is still operational? Have you found Negi-sensei? And Chisame? And— _A pause._ Who else was lost, again?_

Chachamaru repressed an unusual new urge to express the far too human sound known as a sigh. _We all are in perfect physical condition so far, Hakase-san. Please tell Iinchou-san she doesn't need to call on her mercenary operatives. I'll get everyone back before the scheduled hour. _

_Roger! Good to hear you so confident, Chachamaru-chan! _

_Hakase-san, may I ask you a question? _

_Anything! What is it? _

_Have you been crying? _

_Uh... _

_Because your voice does sound strangely sniffling and tired... _

_I have no idea... what are you talking about..._

Another voice burst through the link. _WHERE'S MY CHISAME-SAMA?! I'M GOING THROUGH WITHDRAWAL WITHOUT HER!_

Chachamaru nearly felt like sighing again._ We'll be there right now, Tsunetsuki-sempai._

Then they all reached another, closed door blocking their narrow way up. "Crap!" Asuna cursed. "Chachamaru, punch this door down!"

The gynoid's eyes glowed green. "No. There seems to be some sort of security device hooked into it. Any violent attempt to force it open will make it explode."

"There's a problem written on it," Yue read. "It says, 'What is the past participle of the English verb 'Read'?"

"Another riddle?" Makie complained. "Was the guy who built this library born in Gotham City?"

"Well, that _would_ explain a lot about this loony bin…" Chisame muttered.

The giant's voice still came from below, as the behemoth stampeded beneath them, making its own way up. **"FOOLS! WAIT! YOU WILL GET YOURSELVES KILLED!"**

"Chachamaru!" Asuna barked. "You said you had the book, didn't you? Give it to me!"

"Huh?" Karakuri asked. "But, why—"

"Isn't it obvious? We're going to see if it works!"

"But, I can—"

"Your grades are barely better than ours! Now hand me the book!" Asuna pressed on.

"Yeah, about that…" Chisame muttered. "Just how lazy a programmer _is_ Hakase?"

Chachamaru obeyed, and Asuna held the tome, closing her eyes and placing her other hand's fingers upon the door. Her expression grew solemn and focused as she said, "The answer is 'READ'!"

"Yes, that's it!" Negi cheered.

The door immediately opened itself with a whirring sound.

"Whoa, Asuna, it really works!" Haruna marveled. "From ignorant but sexy hick, you just went to Hot Genius worth the Saotome Seal of Approval!"

"You're now equal to the likes of Hellsender and Jorlem!" Yue name-dropped as promised out loud.

Asuna smirked, holding two fingers against her forehead in the standard 'insufferable genius being insufferable' pose. "Naturally. Haruna, through simple deduction, I have figured out the reasons behind your attention-grabbing attempts at depravity. Yue, I have deciphered the motives behind your morbid fascination with unhealthy and disgusting drinks. Chachamaru, I've just thought of a few modifications that could help your aerodynamic performance in flights above the mark of 100 feet of height. Negi, I can now tell, from the subtle clues in your behavior and attitude, you are starting to undergo through—"

**"RETURN THAT BOOK! NOW!"** the golem howled.

"— But mostly, I do believe it's for the best if we continue our escape immediately," Asuna began to run up again.

"Now that's the mark of a true genius," Yue exhaled, following her steps.

* * *

><p>The group couldn't make it for more than another story's worth of height before running into another door with an inscription on it.<p>

"It's a Math Problem," Yue read. "In the graph below, can you determine the value of X?"

"I want to be smart too!" Ku Feo quickly snatched the book from Asuna's hands, blinking as her mind was suddenly filled with knowledge. "Wow... it works! It's so... wonderful! Everything's so clear now! I can understand why Chao acts so strangely sometimes! I can see the mechanics of the universe! I— I can even pronounce the true name of God! It's Ken Aka—"

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION, KU!" everyone yelled at her. Even Negi.

She sighed and half-slammed a fist on the door. "46 degrees."

The door opened immediately.

"That's our Ku-arune," Kaede patted her on the head.

They continued running up, with the golem still giving chase, never too far behind. Door after door they went, taking turns holding the book and opening the doors appearing on their way with annoying frequency.

"Because he was blind!" Makie said.

"Kamatari Nakatomino," Kaede said next.

"The Hebrew Angel of Death, Azrael," Haruna answered the next one.

"Aglets!" Chisame said, taking her turn. And wondered why she'd just realized her sister's friend should be living with a goddess.

"I don't think I need the book to answer this..." Negi proceeded to read the inscription on the door, and sweatdropped. "Haruna-san?" he held a hand out over to her. Haruna dutifully handed him the book despite Chisame's attempt to stop her. Negi held it, blinked, looked at the question again, blushed, and shyly replied, "... Through sexual contact."

"You should have answered that one!" Chisame told Haruna. "It's your specialty!"

Paru shrugged. "Think of it this way. This trip has been a full, long eye-opening experience for him!"

The seemingly unending race continued for what seemed at least one hour more, and at that point, Yue, Chisame and Negi had grown so tired the first one had to piggyback on Kaede's back, and the later two had to be carried by Chachamaru. Chisame couldn't help but feel bad upon seeing Negi's cute, exhausted face, sweaty and strained, making small whimpering sounds. Without his magic, he was just like any normal child of his age.

She had pulled a few clothes out of Chachamaru's backpack and covered herself with them, tossing the rest to her classmates, who managed to get dressed during the brief breaks any random one of them used to open the ensuing door. By the time they reached the final level, they all were fully clothed again. They knew it was the final one because Chachamaru said that humongous door was not booby trapped, and it had no inscription on it.

The gynoid walked up to it and pushed it open with visible effort, revealing a seemingly normal hallway full of bookshelves beyond it.

"We did it!" Yue said. "I know this place! It's safe!"

"Not so safe anymore!" Asuna looked down. "Not with him still after us!"

The golem still kept on coming after them, escalating the stairs with notable tenacity. **"STOP! STOP, LITTLE FOOLS!"**

Negi, despite his exhaustion, managed to jump down from Chachamaru's back, standing ready stubbornly, holding his staff. "Girls, run as fast as you can! I'll keep it distracted!"

"Like hell you will!" Chisame screeched, pulling him back by an ear. "Chachamaru! Take us all flying out of here!"

The robot paused. "I do not think I'll be able to carry all of you. Your combined weight is not a problem, but I would be difficult to maneuver..."

Chisame sighed, then saluted at Haruna. "We'll miss you. Kinda."

Much to Chiu's surprise, Paru only nodded with seriousness. "Go. All of you are too cute-sexy to sacrifice. Yue, be happy with Nodoka, and tell her I loved her, too."

"Ehhh...?" Ayase blinked. "Wh-What are you—"

"Ku, you were an excellent roommate. Sorry I never showed much of an active interest in you, but I always thought you made a much better mate for Chao..." Saotome continued. "Also, girls from your village are kinda scary."

"A-ru?" Ku tilted her head aside.

"Negi-kun, Asuna, Chisame, please continue having that wonderful three-way steamy romance you no doubt have, and enjoy it to its fullest," Haruna went on.

"The hell of what now?!" Asuna yelled.

"No. Just… No," Chisame's face quaked.

"Ro... man... ce...?" Negi's mind faltered. Steam began to gush out of his head.

Haruna sniffed theatrically, turning around to face the incoming juggernaut with a martial arts pose. "Please tell Mom I'm sorry I never got to marry a rich guy, and tell Ranma I loved him... yes, in THAT way!"

"TOO MUCH INFORMATION, HARUNA!" Yue, Asuna and Chisame yelled.

Right then, Ku Fei and Kaede simply jumped up over Paru's head to land simultaneous mighty kicks on the Golem's chest, knocking it off the stairway and down into the deep abyss below.

"We told you..." Ku began.

"... we'd be your opponents-de gozaru!" Nagase finished proudly. She thrust out her arm forward, her hand clenched in a fist, thumb upraised, and smiled wide. Her teeth went 'ting!' "_Believe it, dattebayo!_"

"GIRLS!" Negi screamed, trying to reach for them even as a gasping Chisame held him closer and back.

He didn't need to worry, however; before they could fall any long, Chachamaru flew down in a flash and grabbed both Ku and Kaede in midair, safely bringing them back with the rest of them.

**"YOU HAVE PASSED THE TEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSTTT...!"** the rock titan shouted as it plummeted down into the darkness, finally out of sight and hearing. They waited for a moment, and there was a distant crash. _**"…owie…"**_

"Girls!" Negi ran tearfully to hug both martial artists. "You... YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT! WHAT IF YOU HAD DIED?!"

Elsewhere, Itoshiki lifted an eyebrow, looking up from his spartan breakfast of ill-prepared blowfish, diet pills, weapon's-grade sugar. "I feel like someone's stealing a catchphrase of mine again..."

Back at the Library, Makie whistled. "Maybe that was a bit too much. What if you just killed poor Evil Golem-san?"

"They are very resistant creatures," Chachamaru observed. "I'm sure he'll live."

Meanwhile, Minamoto Shizuna-sensei was entering the Dean's office, carrying several notebooks in her hands. "Sensei? It's almost time for the— Are you feeling okay, Sensei?"

He held his head up, which now was sporting several bulbous lumps on it for some reason. "Yes... why, yes, I am. Nothing to worry about! Just... just get me an aspirin, will you, Shizuna-kun?"

* * *

><p>Matoi clung to Chisame's body like a rabid tree hugger to a trunk during an environmental protest. "CHISAME-SAMA!"<p>

"Wha— LET ME GO, TSUNETSUKI! Sheesh!" Her arms were pinned to her sides by Matoi's deceivingly strong hug, but somehow Chisame managed to shake her off herself by beating her down with her chin. "That's it! I'm going to have you arrested, psycho freak!"

"We got the book! We got the book!" Asuna pranced into the room next, just as a bright eyed Hakase ran to meet them, even if she mostly only cared about Negi, Chachamaru, Chisame, and the tome Kagurazaka was holding up.

"Oh, good! All of you are all in perfect physical condition! Looks like Sakurako-chan won her bet, too!" the scientist said.

The weary explorers stared at her. "Who bet against our survival?" Asuna asked.

"... Actually, Sakurako-chan was the only one who bet on all of you making it out alive," Satomi admitted. "She's going to make a fortune out of it..."

Matoi pointed at Makie and confessed casually, "Well... I had bet she wouldn't make it."

The gymnast's eyes became huge white circles. "I'm the chain's weakest link?!"

Matoi nodded. "Yes. Always."

"Now, now, there's no time to waste at all," Negi urged, stiffling a tired yawn. "We'd better get moving for the Academy right now..."

But Hakase was too busy looking up at Asuna with pleading eyes. "Can I hold it for a moment, please? Through all of my life, I've been searching for the ultimate knowledge! And while this is cheating, unsatisfactory way of reaching it, I still can't let it go!"

"Um, sure," Asuna shrugged nonchalantly and handed it to her. "You don't even need to flip through it. It works by simply holding it..."

But Satomi was sporting a simple disappointed expression as she looked down at it. "I don't feel that different... The true name of God, meh... Ahh, so that is what Sakurako meant that time when she told me that... Hm. Not that much that I didn't know already..." She passed the book back to Asuna. "Thanks, but you can keep it. You need it far more than me..."

"I already knew that! That's why I was here in the first place!" Asuna barked.

They all ran out of the huge building, now joyous and victorious... but as soon as they set foot out of the front steps, the book in Asuna's hands exploded into a shower of white sparkles, and then into nothingness.

"AH!" Negi cried.

"WHAT?!" Chisame choked.

"ARU?!" Ku Fei babbled.

"WE FAIL AT LIFE?!" Makie said.

"What... What has just happened?-!" Kaede sputtered.

"I can't remember anything of that super genius stuff I learned!" Haruna blinked. "Asuna, this is your fault!"

"Mine?! Why?!" Kagurazaka asked.

"You were the one holding the book!" Makie pointed out.

"Give me a break! It'd have happened if you had been holding it, too!" Asuna looked at Negi. "Isn't that right, Negi-bouzou?"

He just stared helplessly, streams of tears raining down his cheeks. "Ah... ah... ah... Ahh, yes, I guess... That looked like it was a... sealing spell used to guarantee the book couldn't be taken out of the Library..." his voice wandered randomly.

The muggle girls seemed confused.

"And how did you know that?" Kaede asked.

"Oh, well, you see..." he eeped, "I... have researched a bit on myths, legends and traditions, and... and..."

"You all forgot to fill out a library card," Yue, who'd fallen back a little, said, tucking something into her bag. "Don't you know anything? If you want take out a book, you need to go to the desk and have your library card filled in."

"Wait, you mean we lost the book because we _**DIDN'T CHECK IT OUT?**_" the rest of the girls said as Asuna and Hakase sighed with relief, as well as Matoi. Haruna was smacking herself on the forehead, screaming about how she should have remembered that.

"Yes," Yue said simply, very much aware of the book she'd checked out in her bag…

Then the whole meaning of the situation sank in for Chisame, and she pulled on her hair screaming at the sky. "AAARRRRGHHH! WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE! YOU MEAN, AFTER ALL OF THIS, AFTER LOSING POOR LAPTOP-KUN, AFTER BEING MOLESTED BY HARUNA, AFTER SUFFERING SO MUCH DOWN THERE, ALL OUR EFFORTS WERE IN VAIN JUST BECAUSE _**WE DIDN'T FOLLOW LIBRARY PROCEDURE?**_"

"We bring it up every year during library orientation," Yue pointed out.

"ARGH!" Haruna fumed. "Crap! How's the world going to screw us next? Three pretty-pretty villains with elemental powers come outta nowhere, rip Chachamaru in half and beat the rest of us down to bloody pulp?!"

"... Ripped in half?" Chachamaru asked.

Hakase's eyes were impossibly wide now. "Did Haruna molest you?-!"

"... Do you really find it surprising?" Asuna asked in turn.

Matoi was trying to savagely claw Paru's face off, only being held back by Kaede's sudden chokehold on her. "You bitch! Pervert! Babylon Whore! Chisame-sama's ripe young body is only for me to take!"

"W-We'll worry about it later!" Negi stammered, trying to regain his leadership wits. "It's almost time for the test! If we aren't there in less than fifteen minutes...!"

"That'll be no problem," Hakase said. "Iinchou-san hired the world's allegedly best driver to take us back to the Academy. As a matter of fact, he should be here..."

Right at that moment, a speeding red Jeep Cherokee 2.1 TD Limited zoomed by, running out of the nearby road and screeching to a halt right before a terrified Makie. An unkempt, blond man wearing a green shirt and smoking a suspicious looking cigarette peeked out of it, waving a hand around in a dazed sort of way.

"Heyyyyy, kiddies! Here's Daddy Leigharch, here to take you for a ride!" he said, in a thick, zoned out, yet loud and annoying, Irish accent, sounding like a crappy American dub from the eighties. "Hang on to your asses and hop into the car!"

The girls and Negi stared at him in stupefied horror.

The man grunted. "Well, whaddya want? Just because you're Magical Girls wearing your pink sailor fukus, you were waiting for the Batmobile? Batman is an urban legend! My pal Superman told me so when he was carrying me over to Belle Reve prison!"

Yue gave Hakase a concerned stare. "I'm no expert in these matters, but... isn't this man drugged?"

Satomi nodded in a stupor. "I believe so, yes..."

"I'm not on the stuff anymore, officer!" the driver said. "And I'm still the top dog at the road! You wanna getaway? Then I'm your man! So, let's split before the other pigs get there, with their Uzis and Panzers and bazookas!"

Chachamaru quietly picked Negi under an arm, Chisame under the other, and began gaining height with them. "I will take them there, Hakase-san. There's no point on everyone dying, after all. I suggest you to take your speedster..."

"I will do so, yes," Satomi nodded, pulling her own mini speedster out of the nearby bushes and gesturing for Matoi to hop on behind her. "Well, good luck, everyone!"

"We'll meet again at the Academy!" Negi, always the optimist, waved at his students.

"Oh thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks, thanks..." Chisame was hugging Chachamaru's body, almost sobbing against it. "I didn't want to die yet..."

Haruna grinned and walked over to the driver. "Hey there, Leigharch-san! Remember me? I'm Haruna! How's Cousin Shenhua doing?"

The man blinked, pulled his dark glasses up, and rubbed his reddish eyes. "You? You're Haruna? Shampoo's sis-in-law? MAN! I WAS THINKING YOU WERE SAILOR V! You've grown up! Last time I saw you, thirty years ago, you only came up to my knees! Wasn't that the time I helped you and your Bro escape a nine-headed giant dragon?"

Paru laughed. "Don't be silly! It wasn't like that at all! The dragon only had eight heads! And I'm only fourteen years old!"

Yue grimaced in horror. "Don't tell me you really know this man..."

Saotome shrugged. "You know my family. We have had a lot of... adventures... over the years." Then she happily jumped into the seat next to the driver's, fastening her belt. "Well, let's get going! Don't be chickens! His reputation is well-founded! We'll be there in a blink! Hell, I bet you we'll be there before Chachamaru and the Prof!"

Asuna sighed as she followed Kaede, who was pushing a terror-paralyzed Makie and Yue into the vehicle. "At least I'm an orphan... No family will lament me..."

Ku jumped in after them, pumping a fist up. "Go, go, go! Speed Racer...!"

"That wimp? I taught him everything he knows!" Leigharch chuckled raspily, sinking a foot into the accelerator. "Even how to French mutant giant gorillas! Now sit tight, and don't touch that white dust over there! IT'S ALL MINE! I forgot! We have to go to Liverpool! Jimi Hendrix is calling for me! To defeat the Klingons-ASAP! Oh Captain Picard here I come!"

As the car speeded by, Yue's last thought was they at least weren't in Yukari-sensei's car...

* * *

><p>Ayaka bit her fingernails as she wrote through her test. The classroom was in a tense, despairing silence as the girls waited and filled their sheets as best as they could. The teacher in charge stood sternly at the front of the class, imposing the utmost respect with his mere presence.<p>

Then, however, Sakurako heard noise outside and smiled, looking out a window. "Ah! Iincho, look! Your driver's here with the Baka Rangers!"

"Where? Where?!" Ayaka jumped for the window, half of the girls following, grouping right behind them and struggling to get a good view of the arrivals. "Where's Negi-sensei?! I can't see him there!"

Misora sneakily took the opportunity to peak at some people's papers while everyone including the teacher was distracted.

Leigharch's jeep had stopped right before the Academy, and a visibly shaken Yue, Makie, Kaede, Ku and Asuna were stumbling out of it.

"I... I need new panties...!" the gymnast sobbed.

Ku Fei only mumbled in Chinese, deeply disturbed, her usual cheerfulness fully gone.

Kaede had some kunai in a hand, first considering sinking them on the goofily grinning Leigharch, then in herself, then pocketing them back with a weary sigh.

Asuna was trying to strangle herself with her own ponytails. Staring from a window, Itoshiki-sensei nodded approvingly of her technique.

Yue rubbed her large forehead and exhaled. "... Still not as bad as Yukari-sensei's driving..."

Haruna gave a wet peck on Leigharch's right cheek. "Still as great as I remembered it! Thanks!"

"Damn you! You can't be a human being!" Asuna yelled at her.

The junkie driver chuckled. "Thanks, Sailor V! Could you ladies take me to the beach next? Could it be? Could it? The legendary nude beach?" His face spasmed as he said so.

"Maybe in another life," Asuna was too tired to argue with violence anymore.

Chachamaru arrived next, bringing Negi and Chisame along. She seemed slightly surprised to see the car had, indeed, arrived before she did. Looking at the man at the driver's wheel with newborn respect, she bowed to him. "My congratulations, Leigharch-san. You truly are an expert in your field."

The man was too busy slamming his head against his jeep's horn to notice her. "I like it when it does this noise...!"

Ayaka stood proudly. "Once again, the Yukihiro Zaibatsu proves it hires nothing but the best..."

Yuuna made a disgusted face while looking down. "I think... he has just puked all over his shoes..."

"Ahhh!" Sakurako cooed. "Here comes Satomi-chan, as well! Oh, and Tsunetsuki-sempai."

"BWARK!" the teacher at charge of the test yelled loudly, and all the students rushed back to their seats, terrified of him. "BWAK! BWAK, BUCKAWWW, BUCKAWWW!"

"S-Sorry, Boo-sensei!" Ako apologized. "It won't happen again!"

"Oh, no, it already started!" Negi gasped while running up the stairs, the girls trailing shortly behind. "But it can't be too late! We—"

Nitta-sensei swiftly stepped in between them and the door of 2-A, sighing. "The Baka Rangers. I should have expected this. You can't disturb the other students, so I'll take your tests at another classroom. You too, Tsunetsuki-kun."

"Can I take the same test as Chisame-sama?" Matoi asked.

"Of course not!" Nitta replied.

"Uh... Excuse me..." Negi said shyly. "Girls... All of you... Please do your best, but don't strain yourselves. You... You have been the best students I could have ever had, and I was so happy I could teach you..."

The girls paused, looking at him with shocked, then moved expressions, even on Tsunetsuki's face. Finally, Kaede smiled and broke the silence. "Don't worry about us. We can take it from here."

"Leave everything to us!" Makie smirked.

"We'll get by without the book!" Ku made a V sign.

"Thanks for the study sessions, Negi-sensei. I'm sure they'll be enough for this," Yue told him.

The young mage sniffled, until Chisame placed her hands on his shoulders. "You dumbass. Don't you trust us? And yourself? Look, I know normally I'd have been the first one to doubt there, but... You have given me cause to... have hope," she added reluctantly. "Smile, you idiot. I don't want to see you like this. We'll feel better... if we go in there seeing you trust us."

He stood there with his mouth open for a moment, before slowly making an apologetic smile. "I do."

Chisame gave him back a small smile of her own. "Good to know."

"Ahem!" Nitta coughed, herding them into the classroom. "Touching as all that was ladies, we're on a schedule here. Negi-sensei, please wait outside, will you?"

"Yes... Of course," he waved weakly at them, and then walked out into the open. He sat down on the grass hugging his knees, drooping his head down. A few moments later, he felt the final mark on his wrist finally vanishing, checking it out for confirmation. "Well. Looks like it's all back to normal," he mused.

Then he stood up, picking a small flower from the grass. He walked near the window of the latecomers' classroom, and quietly cast a spell with the flower. _"I call on you, fragance of the wild flower. Please fill my friends with your pure power. Refectio."_

A soft, tender smell flowed into the classroom, making the girls to feel better somehow. Makie lifted her tired head, which didn't feel as heavy now. Asuna felt the sleep fluttering away from her eyes. All across the room, every last one of them felt better, more optimistic, more focused.

Yue took a brief look at the window, as if suspecting something, and indeed, for the briefest fraction of a second, she saw him standing there before moving aside like a surprised bunny. For once, her normally austere face allowed itself a small smile.

She knew it.

* * *

><p>As Nitta-sensei finally left the classroom, sighing heavily and carrying the finished tests out, he was shocked to see the Dean himself approaching him down the hall. As always ever since that Valentine's Day, Nitta's first reaction was to stick his back against a wall, pressing his derriere against it for dear life.<p>

"H-Headmaster-sensei!" he said stiffly, trying to sound normal. "What a surprise to see you here! Hmm... Are you hurt? What are those bandages on your head?"

"Oh, these? Nothing, nothing!" the old man shook his head. "Just had a little spill, that's all. Are those the tests of Class 2-A?"

"The latecomers', yes. They have just turned them in. Why?"

"Could I grade them personally?" he extended his wrinkled hands ahead. "I promise I'll have them ready before this afternoon..."

Later that afternoon, and after the quick job of the evaluation teams, the students and some teachers had crowded into the expansive main hall, chattering and muttering amongst themselves while waiting for the grades to be announced. Some heavy betting took place in relative secrecy, with even some of the teachers joining in.

"You'll lose your whole salary for the month again..." Nyamo-sensei whispered to Yukari-sensei.

Yukari shook her head stubbornly. "I know my dummies better than anyone!" she hissed. "If I say Tomo and Kagura will flunk, then they'll flunk for sure!"

The deeply tanned girl a few feet away scowled. "Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence, Teach!"

The flatter, paler girl at her side shrugged. "Hey, she knows what she's saying there. If they'd take my bets on it, I'd have bet on our flunking, too!"

Kagura shot her an annoyed glare. "Bite a raw cable, Tomo."

"Silence!" Hall Monitor Kotegawa Yui clapped her hands. "It's starting now!"

They all held their breaths as the numbers began appearing on the large plasma screen hanging over them. Class after class appeared in no particular order, other than that of those who were finished with the tests first. The charts with the students grades burned their glowing images on the screens.

HIGH SCHOOL CLASS 1-C.

_Ishida Uryuu: 97_

Ishida only took the news with a total absence of expression, although somehow, the sudden glint in his glasses seemed to convey a smug satisfaction of sorts.

"Very good job, Ishida-kun!" Orihime clapped happily.

_Orihime Inoue: 93_.

"THAT'S MY HIME!" Honsho Chizuru sobbed, diving for another body squeezing hug on the busty redhead. "As wise as Athena, but as beautiful as Aphrodite!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes, then looked at the next name in the electronic list.

_Yasutora Sado: 85._

"Well done, Chad!" Rukia patted him friendly in a huge thick arm.

"It was... nothing," the dark skinned gentle giant lowered his head humbly. "I could have studied a lot more. I was lucky..."

_Kurosaki Ichigo: 83._

"You too, Ichigo!" Rukia spoke again. "Impressive, for someone with so little time... here!"

He 'hmphed', tucking his hands into his pockets. "I don't see the big deal about it. I had nothing better to do, so I spent my time studying..."

"And he says it just like that!" Chizuru cringed. "We were outdone by three... _men_, Ruki-chan! What went wrong? We don't have intelligence stunting male hormones, so what happened to us?-!"

"... You always fell asleep at our study sessions, Chizuru-chan," Orihime gently reminded her.

The other redhead grimaced. "We should have studied with Baseball Janken, just like 2-A. That way we'd be geniuses like Chao Lingshen."

Rukia huffed. "Orihime's smart. You'd never catch her naked with that stupid trick."

"Oh, I wasn't talking about her..." Chizuru purred, resting her chin on Rukia's right shoulder. "You, on the other hand, I'm sure we'd have you stripped in less than—"

The rest of the students stepped aside, letting her to fly by freely as Rukia punched her across the room.

"Wow, Rukia..." Orihime was in awe. "Have you been exercising lately?"

HIGH SCHOOL CLASS 2-F.

_Kitsu Chiri: 90._

"Wow, the first in the class again, Chiri-chan!" Kafuka said. "I'm very proud of your wonderful ability to leave us in the dust like fools!" she added, somehow sounding completely innocent and sincere.

But Chiri looked angry, a perfectly symmetrical vein popping in the middle of her forehead. "I have failed!"

"Huh? Were you aiming even higher?" Nami asked.

"No!" she replied. "I wanted an 88!"

"Ehhhhhh?" Nami blinked.

Chiri ran her hands over her head. "The perfect number! Eight times eleven! So gorgeous in its symmetry! Not too high, not too low! But what do I get? A nine and a zero! How ugly and uneven!" She looked around. "And where's Itoshiki-sensei? He should be here with us at this key moment of our lives!"

_Fujiyoshi Harumi: 88_

The shapely mangaka whistled. "Whoooo, not bad! Mom and Dad will be proud!"

But Chiri simply shot her a killer glare. "You... You stole my 88! And I thought you were my friend!"

A few steps away, Haruna shook her head. "Those girls are just plain crazy. Even Fujiyoshi-sempai… but everyone knows crazy girls will elt you do hot stuff to them… ah, such a conundrum!"

"It takes one to know one," Chisame observed bitterly. "What's taking our grades so long, anyway?"

"Well, we were the last ones to arrive," Satomi reminded her. "Give them time..."

They waited and waited as all the classes received their grades, until they were the last ones left. Most of the other students and their teachers had still stuck around, however, curious about seeing how would the Academy's second weirdest classroom perform that year.

Negi sweated and gasped, his heart thumping furiously, as the long dreaded words appeared on the screen.

MIDDLE SCHOOL CLASS 2-A.

* * *

><p><em>Chao Lingshen- 100<em>

"Well, not exactly a shock," Yuuna commented.

Satsuki gently patted her best friend's back. "Congratulations, Chao."

"Ah, thanks a lot...!" Chao laughed goofily, scratching the back of her neck. "I guess I couldn't let my reputation down, neh?"

"That's what I like best about you. No false modesty," Kazumi weighed in.

_Hakase Satomi- 100._

"Again, no big surprise," Misa said.

"That's the way to go, Satomi-chan!" Sakurako gushed.

Hakase scratched her head. "Gee, thanks. Hmmm, since I'm not used to being congratulated in public over my academic performances, what should I say to sound grateful but not boastful, Chisame?"

"Hush, please," Hasegawa urged her. "We aren't out of the woods until everyone is confirmed."

The names began to run quickly after those, from the upper echelons of Ayaka and Nodoka to the somewhat lower ranks of the Narutakis and Misora. A rather surprising rise in grading came when Tatsumiya Mana's name came.

"83?-!" Asakura stared in disbelief at the mercenary. "How the heck?-! You never ranked above the lower 70s!"

Mana shrugged while counting the cash Ayaka was handing her. "No task is too low for a professional. Not even studying."

Shiho sweatdropped. "Oneesama, I think your inspiration is coming the wrong way this time..."

When Chachamaru's name was announced with a meager 67, Satomi casted a highly disappointed gaze into her direction. The gynoid simply lowered her head in a shameful silence, making Chisame wonder exactly what the deal was about it, but she didn't have the time to dwell on it. The lowest of the low were coming.

_Evangeline Mc Dowell- 63. _

_Sakurazaki Setsuna- 60._

_ Zazie Rainyday- 58._

"Oh my God. We're almost there. Even Zazie-san made it. It's all up to the Baka Rangers now," Ayaka's nerves fretted.

Natsumi tried to comfort her. "I'm sure they'll have improved with Negi-sensei's guidance, at least a bit..."

_Ayase Yue- 48. _

_Ku Fei- 42._

_ Nagase Kaede- 40. _

_Sasaki Makie- 36. _

_Kagurazaka Asuna- 32._

A deadly stunned silence fell all over 2-A.

For a long, long time, everything seemed to have frozen around them.

They all, even Evangeline, stood there with blank stares.

"It's... We're done for!" Makie finally whimpered.

_"My... my ticket out of here!"_ was all Eva could whisper.

Shiho frowned at the Baka Rangers. "So you five idiots will have to take another test to make up for this in two weeks. It's not the end of the world!"

"You... You don't understand!" Ako pinched the bridge of her nose, looking about to cry. "Because of this... now we're going to... going to lose..."

Ayaka's eyes brimmed up with tears, and then she lunged for her rival's throat. "ASUNAAAAA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

"Iinchou! Not now of all times!" Haruna tried to stop her.

"Haruna's right! We can't do this to Negi-sensei right now!" Natsumi argued.

"Something wrong with your teacher?" Nami asked them.

Chisame was so depressed she didn't jump on that as an opportunity to explain at length that, yes, there _was_ something wrong with having a little kid for a teacher, even if they'd gotten used to him.

"Well," Kazumi sighed. "You'll see, the problem is..."

As the rest of the classes began to gather around to listen, Chisame noticed someone was not at her side anymore.

"Negi-sensei?" she looked around, her nerves even more agitated now. "Negi-sensei? Stupid brat, where are you?!"

He was nowhere in sight. Gone in a flash while everyone had been too distracted to react. She wanted to kick herself. Take your eyes off him for a moment, and...

"Sensei!" she ran around the back of the hall, growing restless for some reason. "Sensei!"

Then she felt someone small and warm bumping against her back clumsily and she breathed in relief, until she saw it was just Hakase, who had followed her while everyone was too busy. "Oh, it's you. Do you have any idea where Sensei went?"

Satomi shook her head. "I was following you because I thought you'd have a better chance of finding him. He always listens more to you than me, so if he's going to listen to anyone's calls, that'd be yours..."

Chisame, exasperated, rubbed her temples. "Oh, that kid's going to be the death of me. Running away when things get rough, like always. Like that time at the woods... or when he learned my..."

The day he learned her secret, and she had ran him out so harshly. And then she learned his secret in turn. It seemed so long ago now...

Sometimes, the memories made it all much more painful now. The memories of all those weeks spent together, both in the good and the ill, made her mad about how much he had messed her life up, but also spurred her to find him before he did another stupid thing.

"We need to find him. We have to. In this state, there's no way of knowing what idiocy he could be up to," she said, not realizing how nerve wracked she was sounding; Satomi did, but she only nodded in understanding. "Damn him, why does he do this to us? Doesn't he care enough to even say 'I'm off to brood, don't expect me for dinner...'?!"

"You're looking for your teacher?" a calmed, spaced out young male voice asked them. Chisame and Hakase turned their heads to look at a pale older student, with a black bowl cut and an inexpressive face, standing there eating from a small bowl of curry.

"Yes!" Chisame said. "I mean... yes, we are," she tried to sound less excited. "Have you seen him, ahh...?"

"Karasuma Oji," he said, very calmly. Way too calmly, as a matter of fact. "I was hungry after checking my grades, so I went out to buy something outside. Then I saw him. He went running that way. Oh, and he was crying..."

Hakase looked in the direction he was pointing at. "The dorms are that way."

"And then the train station," Chisame added. "Hakase! Quick! Bring your speedster gizmo here, and before Tsunetsuki finds me!"

Back at the crowd, which was growing more and more agitated at each new detail of Asakura's story, Matoi tried to push her way out, calling for the love of her last few weeks. "Chisame-sama! Chisame-sama! Where art thou, Chisame-sama!-?-!"

"Wow. Sensei's mentioning Romeo and Juliet was good for you, wasn't it, Matoi-san?" Kafuka said cheerfully.

As Karasuma saw Hasegawa and Hakase zooming into the distance in the latter's tiny vehicle, he gave the tiniest sigh, shook his head, and walked back into the hall finishing his bowl of curry, and rejoining the others.

Damn, it was some fine as heck curry. Now, if he could just keep away from his energetic cousin Rock Lee…

* * *

><p>"You're being stupid, Bro! Stupid! Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Chamo shouted angrily as he poked his head out of Negi's backpack, only to be pushed back inside. "Shutting me up won't change it! You can't just give up and run away like this! What would your father say?"<p>

"Father would be ashamed of me anyway," the young mage sulked, sniffing more tears. "There's nothing I can do about it. I failed. And there are no ways around it."

He finally had arrived at the Mahora Train Station, clutching the backpack tighter around his shoulders. He remembered his arrival there, so full of hopes and dreams which now were shattered beyond repair. His chest ached, and he felt feverish. He couldn't help but keep on crying in silence, keeping his face low and hidden from the crowd's eyes. Eventually making his way to a ticket stand, he rubbed his eyes dry before looking up at the attendant.

"Excuse me," he asked. "I want a ticket to the Tokyo International Airport".

The lanky, pimple faced, foreign looking young man, barely more than a teen, at the counter looked down at him dismissively over his _Loli-looking Teen Idols in slightly Transparent White Bikinis_ magazine. He spoke in an American accent, his eyes half closed in disinterest.

"Yeah, sure. Where are your parents, kid?"

He showed him his documents. "I have a permission to travel alone."

The older boy didn't even look at them. "Whatever. It'll be five fifty."

As Negi sat down at a nearby bench to wait for the train, he heard a calm male voice coming from his left. "I take it you failed your test, then?"

Negi blinked in surprise to look at Itoshiki Nozomu, sitting right next to him. For some reason, his being there seemed fitting for such a depressing moment, but even so...

"Itoshiki-sensei! Wha-What are you doing here?"

The man shrugged. "I just had a feeling this could happen, so I came to share your pain and toss myself at the train in my despair over being unable to help you."

For a moment, they both sat in silence.

"Do you want to borrow my catchphrase?" Nozomu offered. "Don't tell anyone, but I find it helps."

Negi didn't smile. "No thank you, I don't think so."

Silence again. Chamo got bored of the mood and wandered off to have a smoke.

"I truly wish I could have helped you," Nozomu said, sounding sincere.

"There's nothing you could have done," Negi replied, just as depressed. "It was all my fault. You were right in placing so little faith on me."

Nozomu seemed taken aback to some degree. "No... It's not like that. I was almost sure you wouldn't fail, actually. It's just I like having all possibilities covered. And besides, even if you hadn't failed, I still have many reasons to jump in front of that train..."

"Don't say that! At least you will continue teaching here in Mahora..."

"PRECISELY!"

Negi frowned. "Don't even joke about that. Your students love you very much. They were sad because you weren't there with them."

An eyebrow rose. "They were?"

Negi nodded. "Yes. I envy you. You will get another chance to continue here. I... I wouldn't want to leave, really. I'll miss Chisame-san, Hakase-san, Iinchou-san, and everyone else. Even Eva-san. I'll miss you too..."

Itoshiki paused, seeming genuinely moved, watching the tears slowly dripping down his face. "I'm going to miss you as well," he gently placed a hand on his back.

"But I can't... I can't ever look at the girls' faces again. Not after I failed them, and everyone else..."

"Negi-kun," Nozomu stated with sternly. "Get used to this. Through your life, like all adults, you'll suffer through many traumatic losses. You'll be dealt setbacks galore. It happens to every last one of us. But listen, and look at me when I'm telling you this..."

"Y-yes, sir!" he looked up apologetically.

"No matter what happens, no matter whatever you do, you'll never be as much of a loser as I am."

Negi's expression twitched the slightest bit. "That's... Well, I'm sure you mean your best trying to reassure me with that, but... You're much more of a success than I. You have your own home. Your own place in life. You have found a role in the magical community. And... you'll keep on seeing your students..."

"You really do care about yours, don't you?"

"You should care about yours too. You never know what you have until you lose it."

A pause. "I... It's not like I hate them. I guess, to some degree, I keep them at arm's length to avoid hurting them with my failures. That being said..." he lightly knocked his knuckles on Negi's head, "_**I **_would never go as far as to Pactio with them!"

Elsewhere up, up above, Skuld smiled knowingly. Being the goddess of the future had its perks when appreciating the ironic humor of life down below.

The irony of _this_ statement would later come back to not just kick her in the ass but push her over, pull her hair, and laugh at her.

Negi had to laugh weakly. "Yeah, I know. I shouldn't have done that..."

Nozomu shrugged again. "Forget it. I know the circumstances as well as you do."

"Sensei..."

"Yes?"

"Please don't kill yourself. I want you looking after my students after I'm gone. I know it's a selfish wish, and you have your own students, but... please..."

Again, Itoshiki seemed impressed, patting Negi's head when he started sobbing anew. "Very well. I hope you appreciate the effort it takes me to do this. But as long as they're here, I'll look after them too. Except Evangeline-san! I'm not going to delay my release for all eternity!"

"Thanks. I really mean it," he blew his nose up. "But please never tell them you found me here... crying like a useless child..."

"Negi-sensei," the bony hands rested on his shoulders once more. "I know what you're thinking. You're comparing yourself to your father's legacy. Thinking you can't live up to it. But for what it matters, in my opinion, you already have surpassed him on a level."

Negi jerked, shocked. "You... You knew my father?!"

"Yes. I'm sorry I never told you. I thought it was better that way. We don't have the time to talk about it now, but I'll write to you about it later. Suffice to say for now, I... I..." he struggled with the words, "... admired him. I wanted to follow in his footsteps. To be one of his comrades. But it could never be. Your father was a man of many talents, but he never really learned to recognize the pains of life, to let others cry. In that way, he was more of a child than you. He always thought you could shake everything off and keep on ahead as if nothing had happened. He lacked the empathy needed to know when others just needed a shoulder to lean on and cry."

Then he offered Negi an arm, gesturing for him to rest against him.

"And I can say you need one now."

Negi looked up at him with huge tearful eyes and sank his face against his body, breaking into tears while Itoshiki sighed stoically. He cried and cried until he couldn't do it anymore, and only then lifted his head back up, rubbing his nose. "Thanks... I really needed that..."

Then he noticed something. "Itoshiki-sensei? Why are your cheeks red?"

Nozomu only sputtered, looking aside with discomfort. "Confound it, in that regard, you are just like him! In your own ways, you both have this strange effect on everyone!"

"Huh?" he hadn't understood a single word, but then another sound distracted his attention.

"NEGI-SENSEI!" two young voices called for him, as Hakase's speedster screeched to an abrupt halt at the other end of the station.

Negi gulped aloud, disarmed and paralyzed.

Chisame and Satomi had just jumped off the vehicle, running towards him.

* * *

><p>"That's... That's terrible..." Suzushiro Haruka spoke slowly after Asakura was done with her story. "What kind of forceful, incriminatory evaluation method is that? And for a child, no less! Why, if they applied that to all classes who had their idiots failing, Yukari-sensei wouldn't only be fired, but deported out of the country as well!"<p>

"HEY!" Kagura, Tomo and Yukari yelled all at once.

"The correct word is 'discriminatory', Haruka-chan..." her faithful Yukino commented.

"Where IS Negi-bouzou now, by the way?" Kaede asked as she finally managed to dislodge Ayaka's hands from a coughing Asuna's throat.

"That's right!" Yuuna blinked. "I haven't seen him since they announced the grades! Have you seen him, Akira?"

"No."

"And you, Ako?"

"Me neither!"

"Natsumi-chan?"

"Not me!"

"Chizuru?"

"Why should I keep an eye on a boy, much less an underdeveloped one?"

"Not you! OUR Chizuru!"

"Ara ara, I'm afraid not..."

"Kitsu-sempai?"

"Why should I know?!" Chiri protested. "He isn't MY teacher!"

"Satomi-chan isn't around either!" Sakurako searched for her maybe-kinda-sorta-girlfriend.

"Neither is Chisame-sama!" Matoi had started to breathe in and out of a brown paper bag. "Help me! I'm feeling faint! Looking at her photo won't help anymore!"

The expressionless boy at the back of the crowd spoke quietly, "Oh, them? Negi-sensei went out crying a while ago. Then your two classmates went after him. They said something about the train station..."

"W-WHAT?-!-?" Ayaka's face went white enough to scare a ghost. Literally. The invisible to nearly everyone nearby Sayo shrieked, until Misora calmed her down with a discreet gesture.

"Crap, he's fast!" Haruna bit her lower lip. "We gotta stop him right! Before he does anything he... or we... will regret!"

"His poor heart must be broken!" Ako said.

"Maybe he just went to cry himself to sleep under a tree..." Shiho mumbled.

"I concur with Saotome. We must find him immediately," Mana said grimly.

"As I was saying, we'd better go for him before he's out of the country," Shiho hastily added.

Ayaka already was running out of the building, followed by several classmates, pocketing her cellphone. "Luckily, I had the foresight to tell Leigharch-san to stay close in case we needed him again!" she said as the jeep came almost crashing into the scene, nearly running over two whole classes, a passing by cat and Boo-sensei, who scattered away with an almost chicken-like scream.

While the cat hopped into Chachamaru's open arms, Leigharch peeked out of the car, once more high as a kite. "Heyyyy, Lady Boss! I got your call! Something about a Martian Prince on the run?"

"Actually, it's our teacher," Ayaka told him.

"Aren't there enough teachers in this Hogwarts place?" he pushed a finger into an ear and scratched. "Meh, whatever. As long as I get paid... So, how's your Colombian maid doin'? Still refusing to give me her contacts?"

Ayaka huffed as she hopped into the seat next to him and fastened her safety belt. "Not all Colombians are drug dealers, Leigharch-san! And Roberta-san would NEVER deal with such people!" Then she looked at her classmates. "Well, what are you waiting for? Come in right now!"

The Baka Rangers, still terrified of him, backed away as a single woman.

"I'm not getting into that death trap on wheels ever again!" Asuna protested.

"I'd prefer to fight Orochimaru while blind, stabbed and poisoned!" Kaede claimed.

Makie had crouched down sucking her thumb. "He's the devil...! The devil in his chariot of hell!"

"Whooo, playmates!" the driver leered at them. "There are exactly one hundred playmates! Starting from the nineties! It's the attack of the Playmate Army!"

"Alright!" Haruna hopped in, dragging the yelping Nodoka and Yue along with her. "Another ride! You're gonna have a blast, Nodo-chan! Isn't that true, Yue?"

Baka Black whimpered softly. "Grandpa... Soon we'll be reunited..."

"Don't worry," Zazie whispered while slinking next to her. "You won't die yet."

"CRAP, you're talking! That's a sure omen of doom!" Baka Black grieved.

Finally (Naba) Chizuru squeezed herself and Natsumi in as well. "We're ready to go, Ayaka."

Natsumi noticed Yue's frantic praying and the other Baka Rangers waving goodbye tissues at them tearfully and whimpered helplessly.

"ROCK 'N ROLL!" Leigharch cackled madly, Haruna following his cue as the car speeded away like a bat out of Hell. "OH SWEET MARTIAN PRINCE, HERE WE COME! Suck it, A-Team!"

"HE ISN'T A MARTIAN!" Ayaka yelled, apparently indifferent to the fact the world around her zoomed faster than was legally safe in any country of the world up to and including Germany and Antarctica.

Nyamo-sensei stared at the quickly racing vehicle. "I'm pretty sure we should've done something about that."

Left behind, Matoi trembled violently. "A CAR! A CAR! MY KINGDOM FOR A CAR! ! MUST REACH CHISAME-SAMA!"

Yukari-sensei sighed, pulling her car keys out. "Why am I such a nice person? Okay, everyone willing to come with me just say so!"

"I'M THERE!" Matoi latched on her.

"Me too!" Sakurako joined in.

"And me!" Misa cried.

"Me! Me!" Misora agreed.

Yukari's students weighed in. "You're gonna regret it!" Tomo said.

"If you survive," Kagura added.

"Which is unlikely," Yomi piped in. "Although I guess Shiina-san has a chance..."

Yukari grumbled, taking the wheel as the brave girls stuffed themselves in the beaten up 'Yukarimobile'. "Next year will be hell for you traitors, I swear." Then she grinned madly, pushing a foot into the accelerator. "ATOMIC BATTERIES TO POWER! TUUUURBINES TO SPEED!"

Fire exploded out of her exhaust pipe as Misa, Sakurako, Misora and Matoi all shrieked, the car nearly blasting off down the road.

A motorcycle stopped next to Chao, its driver gesturing for her to jump behind her. "Are you gonna go there or not?"

Lingshen smiled, hopping behind the older girl with the biker helmet and hugging her midsection. "Why not? Thanks for the ride, Natsuki-chan!"

Kuga Natsuki grumbled as they sped away as well. "Just doing my job."

Nyamo-sensei kept on watching as everyone seemed to join the chase. Kimura-sensei had been too eager to offer his car for any girls willing to go, but ended up having to share it with Hirano Kouta, Tate Yuuichi, Fujisawa-sensei and Aoki-sensei.

Even that violent punk loner from Class 1-C, Harima Kenji, had gone in his bike as well, and was racing Kimura Kaede's own motorcycle as they tried to surpass each other and their rival Natsuki. All over the place, her own oh-so-responsible fellow teachers were joining the madcap chase, as their students only seemed to need a minimum of pleading to convince them to let them use their cars, not to mention their services as drivers. She had the feeling she was watching the start of a Wacky Races episode as they went one by one.

Then there was Evangeline-san...

"Chachamaru!" the tiny blonde clapped haughtily.

"Of course, Master," the green haired girl picked her up in her arms. Then her feet made like rockets, propelling them up into the air, and in a few moments they were surpassing all cars but Leigharch's tenaciously quick machine.

Nyamo wondered if they still needed teachers at Ohtori Academy. Hell, even Gotham or Raccoon City would be nice…

A peace of sorts returned to the place as the dust settled down and Nyamo was left alone with the only other relatively sane teacher on the staff. She tilted her head aside to look at him. "So... see you tomorrow then, Boo-sensei."

"BUKAWWWK! BUKAWK, BWAAAK, BWAAAK!"

"Yes, you took the words right out of my mouth…"

* * *

><p>"Chisame-san...! Satomi-san...!" Negi stood aghast, in shame and nervousness, trying to turn around and run away just as Chisame all just jumped on him, hugging him tightly. "No...! Don't look at me! I can't— I shouldn't—!"<p>

Ignoring his pleas, Chisame simply squeezed him tight against herself, keeping him firmly against her for a moment, burying her face in his hair.

Then she let him go and slapped his face. Hard.

"Ch-Chisame-san!" he was stunned, rubbing his aching cheek with a hand. He paused, seeing the angry tears running down her reddened cheeks.

"You moron! Idiot!-!" she spat. "How could you?-! After everything we've gone through, all we'd done for you, you just run away, trying to leave the damn country?-!"

Attracted by the shouting, several curious onlookers had started to gather around. Itoshiki sweatdropped, trying to shoo them away. "Heh heh... Family matter! They get ugly all the time! Nothing to see here, though..."

"I have no choice. I'll have to leave for Wales in any case," Negi pouted. "I wanted to save you the pain of seeing me in shame, disgraced before my colleagues and pupils..."

"But there must be an alternative," Hakase argued. "Something can be worked out..."

"The will of my superiors is final," the boy argued. "Sorry. I'm so sorry. I... I'd never want to leave your side. These past months have been the happiest of my life, seriously. I had a place to belong to... a duty I was happy with... and above it all, your... friendship. But it couldn't be. I'm just not cut for it."

"Don't say that!" Chisame shook him. "Didn't you want to be treated as a man instead of a child? Then be a man! Go back there, tell the Dean you want to stay, and argue your case! We'll be right behind you!"

"Even if all in the school opposed it, it can't be discussed..." he insisted.

"What kind of barbaric system is that?" Hakase fumed. "It's unfair! Your success rate can't be qualified like that! Those conditions are extremely unfair! Let's file a complaint!"

Negi was horrified. "That can't be done!"

"Why not?" Chisame said.

Negi scowled, pulled Chamo out of the backpack, dug frantically for a moment until he saw the ermine hopping over, still trailing some cigarette smoke, pointed to him, then at himself. Chamo waved a paw up to the girls before Negi put him back in the backpack.

The onlookers were getting more curious. "Are you their father?" one of them asked Nozomu.

The older teacher sighed. "No. That's the only misfortune I don't have."

"Sorry I didn't get to say goodbye," Negi was apologizing. "But I left you a note in the living ro-"

Chisame slapped him again. "A NOTE WRITTEN IN LESS THAN TWO MINUTES WILL NEVER SUFFICE AFTER ALL WE'VE BEEN THROUGH TOGETHER! HOW INSENSITIVE CAN YOU GET?-!"

A man looked at Itoshiki. "Are you sure they're siblings?"

"She sounds more like a scorned girlfriend," a girl said while chewing bubblegum.

Nozomu popped a few pills into his mouth. "Just enough to fight the headache... Promised not to suicide... Promised not to suicide...!"

"And what did you expect me to do?-!" Negi argued. "To stand there while everyone felt sorry about me and waved goodbye forever? To see the tears I caused on Iincho-san's face? On—"

"You already made me cry!" She broke into furious sobs, pulling his head up forcefully. "Look at me! I'd have been crying even more if you had left before I could reach you, you... idiot! But you wouldn't care, would you? All you cared about was about not seeing our pain! Not about our pain itself!"

He babbled in wide eyed terror. "It's... It's not like that! But it'll be much worse if I stay here and say goodbye!"

"No, it won't!" she hugged him again. "Because at least we'll know you care! Think of our children! What would I have told them when they asked me about you?"

A loud terrified gulp ran through the crowd.

"It's... their mice!" Itoshiki said. "That's all those 'children' are!"

"If they're siblings, no wonder they came out looking like mice!" a woman said, scandalized.

"Their Pacti—I mean, pet mice!" Itoshiki yelled. "You know how kids can get!"

Negi then felt Hakase hugging him from the other side, pressing herself against his back. "Please don't leave," she whispered into his ear, and he felt tears dropping down on his neck's skin. "I... I don't want you to leave. You and Chisame are the only ones who... understand."

"I can't," he sobbed as well. "Don't you see it? I'd like nothing better than to stay by your side, but... I must leave. They'll force me if I don't."

"Then..." Chisame breathed deeply. She knew she shouldn't be saying that. She knew it all too well. And yet, she had to. She couldn't help but do it. The words were already forming themselves in her mouth, rolling off her tongue. And she didn't want to resist them. "Let me go with you."

The crowd all became ice statues for a moment.

Itoshiki's eyes became deep black twin abysses, then popped out like confetti spirals, then forcefully pushed themselves back into his skull.

Negi lifted his head back up. "W... What?"

"You damn idiot!" she feverishly kissed his forehead, time and time again. "Just look at what you're making me say... in public, no less...!" She breathed in and out, feeling dizzy, out of her mind. It all had finally caught up to her. "And yet... I don't want to live the way I used to. I don't want to lose you, damn it! Satisfied? There! I said it! Yeah, I'm an idiot, and I must be crazy, too, because I don't want to go back to living without your presence bothering me all the time! I'm stupid like that! Just... just..." she buried her face into his shoulder and cried, "Please, take me wherever you go..."

Chamo had peeked out of the backpack, crying manly streams that overflowed around him. Itoshiki was downing more pills.

"But..." Negi began, "That's... That's abs— Impossible. You... You have y-your own life here. Family..."

"My father has never cared," she bitterly said. "He'll let me go anywhere as long as I don't bother him. And Sora, Kodaka, Kobato... they'll understand... Well, not Kobato, but she never understands anything…"

"I-I..." Hakase's lower lip trembled, "I want to go too!"

"Eep?" Negi eeped out.

"Ah?" Chisame repeated.

Itoshiki took another mental note of never getting that close to his own students, at all. He had given up on his crowd control activity, just letting their chatter behind him to become static white noise in his ears.

Hakase closed her eyes and rubbed them off clumsily. "C-Chachamaru will be in good hands with Chao and Eva-san! She doesn't need me anymore! And my parents don't care either! They never have!"

"But..." Hasegawa said, stunned, "What about Shiina?"

She lowered her head, sniffling. "I'll miss her. A lot. She was the first one to ever express a desire for…me. But... even if y— I mean, even if those I really love the most haven't told me so that way, I can tell yo— they return my feelings. To some degree. Chisame, Sensei, before I met you, I never thought of anyone but myself, and what I wanted to get. Through my research, through everything. Wait, no, there wasn't anything but the research. And the glory to be had out of it. Even when I crushed on Kazuya-sempai, I never felt this way. Like I do... with you too..."

"They must be filming something. No way this can be for real," a man commented.

"Oh yeah!" another in the crowd said. "That's what this is. Explains why they have the ugly Chiu-sama impersonator…."

"I hope they're getting my good side," the man's wife worried.

"You..." Negi began.

"... mean..." Chisame continued, shaken by icy uncertainty.

Satomi's small frame only hugged them even tighter. "I love you two."

It was one of those typical moments where time stood frozen for a moment.

Literally, since Skuld had just paused and gone to the fridge for another gallon of ice cream. The show was just getting too good, like one of Peorth's trashy romance novels she stole whenever she had a chance...

Once the goddess went back to her seat, everything started again.

"Satomi-san...!" Negi wheezed.

"Hakase...!" Chisame echoed weakly.

"I'm sorry. But this is the way I feel," she looked miserable. "I know I'll be hurting Sakurako, but I can't deny it to myself, and I shouldn't deceive her about it either. I love her a lot, but... there's no one I love more than you."

Itoshiki scratched his chin. "Again, you've known each other for how long exactly?"

He remained unheard as the three of them, simply too shaken to continue protesting against each other's claims, nearly collapsed on each other instead, supporting themselves with their tired, now silently crying bodies, sharing a despair-filled, nervous three way hug.

Then, a loud screeching of tires, as there was a commotion at the other side of the station.

A jeep had just arrived, nearly running over several tourists, and a blond man smoking a cigarette poked his head out of it, grinning like a loon. The loud yell with an Irish accent filled the air.

"YO! WE MADE IT TO SHANGRI-LA!"

* * *

><p>"NEGI-SENSEI!" Ayaka pushed Leigharch aside and jumped off the vehicle in a way that would have made Asuna envious, sprinting towards them with open arms. As she did, she registered the strange closeness between the three of them, but her main concern right now was him leaving her forever. "NEGI-SENSEI! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE US!"<p>

The driver snorted groggily. "Hold on, I have a call from the President..." he pulled his cellphone out despite the fact it was not even working, and held it to his hear listening to an imaginary call. "What? My application for the Black Panthers was denied _again_?-!-?"

Like a deer caught in the headlights, Negi reacted on pure primal instinct, not thinking of what he did. Panicking, he turned around, grabbed Chisame by a hand, Hakase by the other, and ran away while dragging the shocked girls behind him. As they zoomed past Itoshiki, closely followed by a happily skipping Chamo, the man blinked in complete disbelief, then mused in a defenseless tone, "... When did I become the normal one?"

"Sensei!" the normally proud, mighty Yukihiro Ayaka threw herself through the air, tackling Negi's back and grabbing onto him for dear life, making him to lose his balance and fall flat on his face, dragging the girls down with himself. Chamo couldn't or didn't want to stop in time, rushing ahead and stumbling with his nose poking into Ayaka's butt. An annoyed Itoshiki quickly grabbed him by the tail and tossed him a few feet back into the air. "Sensei, please stay! Don't be so cruel to us!" the heiress cried, latching on him and pinning him down under her weight.

Haruna was getting out of the jeep, laughing in relief. "Wow, we made it on time after all! What did I tell you, Nodo-chan? This man is an ace of the road!"

"Dah. Dah, dah, dah. Dah," Nodoka's face twitched at random intervals, as her back rested against a pale and shaken but still apparently functional Yue.

Natsumi stumbled out next, grabbing her stomach. "I shouldn't have breathed his cigarette smoke... I'm feeling ill... and I'm seeing strange things all around us..."

"Ponies! Ponies everywhere!" Chizuru pranced around, with a starry-eyed vacant spark in her eyes.

Zazie walked out in perfect calm, juggling a few balls. _All according to plan..._

"Really, I know well I'm not the best person to talk..." Itoshiki said as he helped Negi, Chisame, Hakase, and the sobbing Ayaka to stand up, "... But I think you all should learn to restrain your emotions! _**A lot**_ more!"

Chachamaru landed a few steps away, placing Evangeline safely on the ground. The tiny blonde stormed over to Negi and began shaking him roughly. "BOYA! WHAT'S THE BIG IDEA, DENYING ME MY RELEASE?!"

"... Your 'release'?" Ayaka blinked.

"Long story," was all Chachamaru said.

"This will be a really weird movie," another observer commented.

"Man," a hipster nodded. "It's all so David Lynch!"

Yukari-sensei's ruin on wheels came next, barely avoiding a fiery deadly crash, and Misora, Misa and Matoi poured out breathing wildly, trembling in pure undiluted fear.

"I looked Death-chan in the eyes... she was almost cute enough to make me fall for her..." Tsunetsuki babbled right before grabbing onto Chisame. "But now I feel alive again!"

Chisame just landed a jab on her face.

_Death shook her head, smiling happily. "Kids…"_

Sakurako, not looking really any worse for wear, made her way to Hakase, giving her a big hug. "Congrats, Satomi-chan! You made it in time!" She hugged Negi as well, pulling him from Eva's terrifying extremes cheek pulling. "Bad Negi-kun! You had us sick worried for a moment!"

"Sakurako... We need to talk..." Satomi began, her voice trailing off as Shiina hugged her again. Why was it so hard to rebuke her when those breasts were pressed against her?

The train station was starting to get crowded with new arrivals, most of them very young, spilling out from car after car, and a few bikes as well. Most of them quickly gravitating around the boy with glasses and his weird girl companions, much to everyone else's puzzlement. "Hey, y'all gonna buy tickets for the next train, or what...?" the pimple faced attendant was asking, but no one paid him an iota of attention.

2-A, naturally, was taking the lead on, mobbing Negi from all sides.

"We're so sorry! It's all our fault!" Makie lamented.

"I'll tell Grandpa to give you another chance!" Konoka offered.

"Sue them!" Kimura Kaere peeked over their heads. "I can get you the best lawyers in all Japan!"

"I doubt any of that will work..." the young teacher said, shrinking back from them.

"I see," Ayaka's expression grew grim. "Then there's nothing else to do!" She gestured towards four other female students. "Daidouji-san! Tenjouin-san! Fujino-san! Sawachika-san! As the five wealthiest students at this Academy, it's our duty to use our resources to help those in dire need of justice! So I propose... FOR US TO JOIN FORCES IN AN INVESTMENT TO BUY MAHORA ACADEMY OUT!"

The golden haired, golden eyed Sawachika Eri twitched. "... Say what?"

The brown haired School Council Vice President Fujino Shizuru put a hand on her right cheek. "Oh dear, that's quite a sudden proposal." She looked at her best friend. "What do you suggest, Natsuki-chan?"

Kuga grimaced a few times. "Shizuru, I don't know the first thing about finances!"

The small, dark haired Daidouji Tomoyo smiled placidly. "I'm willing to hear more about this...!" Lovely images of her Sakura-chan in a specially redesigned Mahora uniform began dancing in her head...

"What am I doing here to begin with?" the blond, princess-curled Tenjouin Saki wondered in jaded disbelief.

"I'm sorry," another voice spoke. "But Mahora Academy is not for sale."

Everyone turned in shock at the source of the words. The frail looking old man walked _veeeery_ slowly towards them, imposing an abrupt silence with his mere presence.

But as he passed by next to him, the pimple faced American asked, "Hey, Gramps, you buying a ticket?"

Konoemon gently bopped his baton on his head and continued walking without missing a beat, stopping before a paralyzed Negi, Chisame, Satomi and Ayaka. "Ho-hum. First of all, I must say I'm sorry. It seems I didn't turn the tests I was grading on time, and so, they ran the results of last term's test by mistake. Here I have the actual grades of today's 2-A latecomers."

"What the heck?" Asuna blurted.

"There still hope-aru?" Ku Fei asked.

The Dean shrugged. "It might be... Hakase Satomi, you still have a 100 score. No surprises there. Saotome Haruna, 83. Well done, child. Your parents will be proud."

He then looked at Chachamaru. "Karakuri Chachamaru, you have undergone a surprise recovery in your scores. 93."

Everyone else did a shocked double-take as Chachamaru bowed at him, whispering thanks, and Chao and Hakase smiled smugly. "H-How did you...?" Evangeline started.

"We upgraded her cultural and literary data banks two weeks ago, naturally!" Chao grinned. "Well, we allocated more space to it."

Chisame scowled. "Doesn't that count as cheating?"

"There was nothing in the rulebook against it..." Satomi feigned innocence.

"Ayase Yue, 65 points," Konoemon continued. "You only need to show more diligence in your studies, Ayase-kun."

Yue looked aside. "... I'll think about it."

"Sasaki Makie, 66 points," the Headmaster went on.

"NO WAY!" the gymnast gasped, her face lit up suddenly. "66? I did better than Yue-chan?!"

"It's only one point..." Yue muttered.

"Next, Ku Fei with 67 points, and Nagase Kaede with 63. You obviously have tried much harder this time, even if there's still room to improve..."

"I do for sure next term-aru!" Ku promised sincerely.

"Well, life's an eternal trip of self improvement..." Nagase philosophized with a shrug.

"Life isn't eternal, fool," Evangeline grumbled. "Well, not most often," she admitted under her breath.

"By the way, your aunt says you will be doing… 'sparring' tonight," Konoemon said, face completely impassive as to what he thought. "To celebrate your passing."

Kaede brightened. "Oh! Dear auntie. It's been a while…"

Asuna was wide eyed and intimidated as Konoemon looked at her next. She felt Konoka's small warm hand resting on her shoulder comfortingly, but she still felt an ill omen in her heart. "And... me...?"

"Oh. Asuna-chan," the old man shook his head. "I must admit you have disappointed me..."

Everyone went as white as a sheet.

But he only chuckled, holding her test up. "You definitely could have done better than a 70!"

"Oh, Grandpa!" Konoka breathed in relief, hitting his oddly shaped head with a miniature mallet. "You're TERRIBLE!"

"Seventy!" Asuna squealed in glee. "No way! A seventy!"

"Congratulations, Asuna-chan!" Konoka giggled. "I knew you could do it!"

A tall figure approached her, smiling warmly and clapping with tenderness. "Indeed. I'm very proud of you, Asuna-kun."

"Takahata-sensei..." she felt herself melting under his gaze, and then lifted a fist up."All right! This is the best day of my life!"

Konoemon rasped loudly for attention, imposing silence again over the wild cheers. "Ahem! So, keeping those changes in mind, I feel it's also noteworthy to point out... Middle School Class 2-A has become the top ranking class of the whole Academy for this term!"

"We...?" Natsumi blinked and blinked.

"We did it!" Ako gushed.

"PONY PARTY!" (Naba) Chizuru twirled around, still flying on Leigharch's fumes.

"I won my bet!" Sakurako's eyes shone gleefully.

"Congrats, Sensei!" Madoka patted Negi's right shoulder. "It was all thanks to you!"

"Me?" he asked. "Oh, no! The effort was all yours!"

"You gave us the motivation. And no little effort of yours either," Satsuki told him.

"My most honest thanks, Sensei," Yue shook his hand. "I couldn't have done it without you." Then, casually, she pulled his sleeve a bit up, looking at his wrist. "By the way, I'm also glad to see you already lost those tattoos."

He laughed awkwardly. "Yes, um... I just rubbed them with a lot of water..."

"Hmmmm..." she nodded thoughtfully and walked away back to Nodoka's side; Miyazaki was breathing better now, saluting Negi with a stiff nod and a shy smile. Negi smiled back before tugging on the Dean's sleeve.

"Konoemon-sensei..."

"Yes?"

"You have forgotten someone," he told him. "Chisame-san."

Hasegawa blinked. "Oh. That's right. But it's okay. I couldn't possibly have..."

"I'm sorry to neglect you, Hasegawa-kun," the old man apologized. "My memory isn't what it used to be. Regardless, you have my congratulations as well." He showed her an 84. "I could feel the effort and love you put into it."

"Lo... ve...?" she blushed, her glasses fogging up. "That... That is..."

She jolted up sensing someone touching her right arm. It was Negi, smiling up at her in that cozy, dumb way of his.

"Thank you, Chisame-san. For everything. I swear I won't let you down again."

"You..." she babbled."You haven't..."

But then she only smiled and ruffled his hair. "You'd better keep that in mind, all right brat?!"

"I will!" he promised.

"CELEBRATION! LET'S TOSS NEGI-KUN UP!" Haruna shouted.

"What?" he gasped. "No, it's not necessary! You don't have to— WAHHH!" he cried as far too many pairs of hands lifted him up and tossed him up in the air.

"GET HIM DOWN RIGHT NOW!" Ayaka and Chisame yelled at once.

"LET'S TOSS IINCHOU AND CHI-CHAN AS WELL!" Harumi piped in.

Moments later, three bodies were being flung up and down over and over.

"THIS IS A MUTINY! AS YOUR CLASS REP, I DEMAND FOR THIS TO STOP! AH! MY SKIRT!"

"HARUNA! IF YOU TOUCH ME THERE AGAIN, I SWEAR I'LL—!"

"WHOOPSIE! MY HAND SLIPPED AGAIN!"

"I... I THINK I NEED TO USE THE RESTROOM!"

Chiri watched on, then furtively wiped a single tear from the corner of an eye. "The little animals are so cute when they play..."

Kafuka teased her poking a finger on her cheek. "Oh, Chiri-chan! It's okay to say we're moved by such wonderful displays of May December love!"

"Wh-What?! What are you implying, Kafuka-san?!"

Honsho Chizuru stared in wide-eyed happiness, her digital camera quickly filling. "Cute kohai panties!" she cried.

Rukia sighed. "At least it's not me."

Next to her, Sayo was tearing up. "Wah! I wasn't able to help the class pass the exam! I'm so useless!"

Rukia was left having to deal with a disconsolate ghost.

Matoi was also burning through her film, a long line of drool trickling from her mouth. "Chisame-sama's panties…!-!-!"

Standing further away, Fujisawa-sensei hummed while smoking a cigarette. "All those faces... The loving bright way they look up at him..." he said.

Next to him, Tate Yuuichi nodded, hands lazily in his pockets. "That boy's got something that... worries me."

Fujisawa puffed a few times. "The way they all are entranced by him..."

"Yeah, it's kinda creepy. Even Hirano's giggling like a girl."

"I need a beer."

"I wish I were of age for one."

And at the absolute end of the crowd, a tall blond girl sighed. "So that's the little fool we'll have to train... Where's the justice in this world?"

The smaller girl at her side patted her in an arm. "It can't be that bad, Takane-oneesama..."

Up at the bowels of Yggdrasil, Skuld smirked with petty, childish glee.

How little did they all know!

* * *

><p>"Good night, Yue-Yue," Nodoka yawned cutely, turning their room's lights off. The day had been exhausting from start to finish, from the morning's test to Haruna's nocturnal celebration party. The overwhelming exhaustion was evident in Miyazaki's voice.<p>

"Good night, Nodoka. Have nice dreams," Yue whispered from her own bunk.

"You too," she muttered sleepily, and then she was making the cutest small dreaming sounds almost on the spot. But Yue couldn't sleep. She only could look up, but not really staring at anything at all.

It all made a strange, absurd sort of sense now.

He had tried to cast some sort of spell on the attacking golem. Those arm markings. The same markings that had vanished right before her eyes last night. It hadn't worked then. At first she had thought, like everyone else, it was just a childish whim, but now it all came to her.

Asuna had urged him to use 'magic' while they fell.

Chachamaru had given him his old, arcane looking staff and urged him to 'use it'. But he couldn't. While he had those marks.

And that morning, she had caught him standing near when that strange, unnatural pleasant feeling washed over the classroom. And then he didn't have the marks anymore.

Not to mention all the weird events that had happened since his arrival. The rash of vampire attacks. The curious case of Chisame's unexplainable attraction. The fact that Itoshiki-sensei was actually beginning to resemble a human being!

It defeated all the logical thinking Yue was so fond of. And even so she had fallen on philosophical thinking, which was a lot more elastic. Nothing else made any kind of sense.

_"Negi-sensei..."_ she whispered, deeply pondering what to do or not to do. _"You... are some sort of wizard, aren't you?"_

…

Then she pulled the book she'd checked out that morning, which she'd hidden under her mattress, and began to read, her face slowly but surely turning red…

* * *

><p>The room was perfectly still and quiet at last as Hakase tumbled out of the bathroom buttoning up her pajama top, missing a few buttons as usual. She kept her gaze low, and she said nothing while settling down on her bunk.<p>

After her early rush of misguided adrenaline, she couldn't look at her roommates' eyes anymore. How could she have been so foolish, blurting all of that out? Truly, emotions were a terrifying thing when they got out of control. They scared her more than anything else now.

As she dwelled into that, uneasily wrapping her blankets around herself, she heard someone calling softly from above. "Hakase. Could you come here a moment?"

She gasped, momentarily feeling an irrational urge to answer "God? Is that you?" before realization set in. Nodding in a stiff fashion and climbing up to the upper bed, she shyly looked at Chisame, who lay on a side with Negi already sleeping at her other side like a log.

Chisame didn't seem angry, but it was difficult to say with her at times.

"Yes, Chisame?" she asked shyly, still not looking at her.

Chisame looked intently at the pilfered underwear drawer, hesitating for a moment before the soft snores coming from inside it eased suspicions her. "You know we need to talk about everything that happened today," she whispered.

"Yes. I guess we do..."

"Right. First of all, I want to know, why? Why me?"

The smaller girl sat on the bed's edge with her back turned on her, feet dangling down rocking back and forth nervously. "Why? That... That is an answer I couldn't give properly even if I still had that book. I just... felt like I had to say that. Because..."

Chisame grabbed her by the shoulders and forced her to turn around, their faces almost touching. "Look at me when you're talking to me," she demanded, with a bit of an angry edge to her voice. Her barely controlled breath puffed softly on Satomi's face. "I swear I won't get furious, so don't hold yourself back. I simply want to know."

Her eyes widened, a few hints of wetness coming out. "You... Since I met you... You always have been there for me. Day to day. Helping me with those routine chores 'normal' people can do without any help. Never complaining..."

"What do you mean? I complain all the time!"

"Yes, but... you don't really mean it. Even _I_ can tell. You keep on going, and now it's the same with Sensei. And yet, despite having to look after him as well, you have never forgotten me either. But... but that isn't all. It's not mere gratitude. It's... seeing you care so much, it has made me... to feel..."

She couldn't take it anymore, looking aside again. "Sorry. I know you couldn't, and shouldn't, feel the same way. I-I should ask for a relocation before this ruins our friendship..."

Much to her shock, Chisame grabbed her face between both hands and turned her gaze back again, locking their eyes against each other anew. "No," she said firmly.

"Chisame...?"

She sighed. "I'd never thought Haruna could ever give good advice, but..."

"Huh?"

Chisame seemed reluctant to explain. "She told me... I should be more honest to myself. And she might have been right for once."

Gently, she reached up with a hand and brushed a stray black lock off Hakase's large forehead. She gazed into her huge, black, nearly child-like eyes. Eyes full of practical innocence fighting against the nervous eagerness of her waking womanhood.

"I want to stay with you, too," Hasegawa confessed in a barely audible voice. "I guess I have grown used to you. Tell anyone and I'll kill you, but I... I'm fond of you too. Kinda. Maybe not the same way you are, but..."

She laughed shakily, blushing in a charming way. "Oh, it's okay. Thanks... I'm relieved you don't hate me over this. Truth be told, I said many stupid things in the rush of that moment. M-Maybe I don't really love you _**that**_ way... I mean, more like... a dear sister figure of sorts... like I told you before..."

"Yeah, th-that's gotta be it..."

"Yeah..."

"Because, otherwise, keeping that kind of love while having an innocent child living with us...!" Chisame chuckled shakily. "That'd send us to burn together in Hell!"

Hakase smiled sweetly at her. "It never could be Hell if you were there."

Chisame looked at her again, mouth half open, cheeks pink once more.

Hakase blushed back, unable to take her eyes away from her. "S-Sorry..."

"D-Don't mind. It's the kindest thing anyone's ever told me..."

"Chisame... Do you regret saying all those things at the train station?"

"Wha-What kind of question is that?"

"Because I don't. I know I should, and yet... and yet..."

She leaned ahead, unable to resist herself. Chisame didn't move, although she trembled in place like a terrified bunny. They both sweated profusely, not even realizing they were coming closer and closer, until their lips briefly brushed against each other. It was very soft and extremely short, but it still packed such a punch they both recoiled immediately.

"S-S-S-Sorry!" Hakase bit her tongue. "Oh dear, I really should move away! What kind of person am I turning into? If Sensei or Chamo-san had seen this..."

"N-No, it's... it's okay," Chisame stammered, trying to regain control over her breathing, looking aside as well, asking herself where had her life gone wrong and if she would be kissing Zazie as well before next term's end, the way things were going. She shuddered. "It won't happen again, after all, right?"

"Right. It was only... an accident."

"Oh. Yeah. I thought so."

"Accidents do happen, after all."

"Naturally. You stumbled ahead on the bed, and you came so quick, I couldn't move away in time."

"Exactly!"

"I knew it!"

"..."

"..."

Sometimes, lying to each other isn't as bad when both of you know you're onto each other.

It was just something they had to do to cope.

"Well," Hakase sighed. "I'll go back down now..."

"Yeah, good night, then..."

Negi stirred, reached over with a hand, grabbed on Hakase's pajamas and pulled her back towards himself and Chisame. "Hrrrnhh, Sis, don't leave..." he pleaded, barely coherent.

Satomi hesitated, looked at Chisame, and relented when she saw her shrugging with a jaded, resigned expression. "What the hell."

With a shameful smile, Hakase settled down, saying confidently, "No more accidents, I promise."

"Uh-huh," Chisame grumbled, turning her back to her and making a mental note of finding serious professional help for herself soon. "Good night."

"Good night. Oh, and by the way, while we were waiting for you... Tsunetsuki-sempai confessed she saw you, Sensei and Asuna performing magic in the woods."

She cringed her teeth almost making them to catch on fire. "Good! Remind me to kill her tomorrow..."

"She hasn't told anyone else, or so she said..."

"Great. Still, we _are_ killing her tomorrow."

"Naturally. After I talk things over with Sakurako. I'm sure we'll be able to work things out."

"Glad to hear. Just sleep already, okay?"

"You know, she once told me she wouldn't mind shar—"

"She was high on love potion then, Hakase!"

"Oh yes. I forgot. Still, she _does_ room with Misa. Maybe something rubbed o–"

"Don't push it!"

From within his drawer, Chamo chuckled perversely, taking good care to remain unheard. The things an ermine could hear with only some patience and feigning sleep. Oh, humans were always so quick to underestimate the sharpness of his senses...!

"By the way, Hakase..."

"Yes, Chisame?"

"We need to decide what to do with that lower bunk."

* * *

><p>The librarian stared, blushing at the book she'd found wedged under Yue's bed. Its title was <em>The Illustrated Kamasutra for Loli Pettankos Who Want to Seduce Their Best Friend…<em>

_I really shouldn't read this…_ Nodoka thought, even as she cracked open its pages and began to read…

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


	15. The Proof of a Contract

The following work of fiction is not recommended or suggested for anyone under eighteen or with a delicate constitution.

_Mahou Sensei Negima!, Love Hina_ and _UQ Holder_ were created by Akamatsu Ken_._

Sunrise created and owns _Mai-Hime_ and _Mai-Otome._

_Danganronpa_ is the property of Spike Chunsoft.

Masaki Tsuzuki created, and Seven Arcs owns, _Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha._

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu_ was created by Tanigawa Nagaru and Noizi Ito.

_Boku wa Tomodachi ga Sukunai_ was created by Hirasaka Yomi and Buriki.

_To-LOVE-Ru_ was created by Hasemi Saki and Yabuki Kentaro.

_School Days_ and associated properties were created by 0verflow.

Other series parodied here were created by other authors..

No similarities between anyone or anything portrayed here and anything or anyone from real life was ever intended.

Absolutely no one is making any money at all out of this work of fiction.

* * *

><p><strong>The Sum of All Our Parts<strong>.

With credits (again) to proofreader/co-writer Shadow Crystal Mage and Darkenning.

* * *

><p><strong>The Proof of a Contract<strong>.

* * *

><p>Takamachi Nanoha was having a perfectly average day.<p>

Get up.

Get a quick shower.

Get dressed.

Innocently greet her older sister Miyuki while she was coming out of their brother's room, hastily adjusting her glasses and combing her hair.

Admire how saccharinely close her family was at the breakfast table.

Then rush out of the house for the school as her current favorite song,_Happy Material (Rock Version, sung by Itou Shizuka, Kanda Akemi, Bandou Ai, Watanabe Akeno, and Deguchi Mami)_, played on her iPod.

This, we'd like to point out, were the ONLY voices she was hearing in her head.

_Hikaru kaze wo oikoshitara, kimi ni kitto aeru ne, atarashii kagayaki HAPPY READY GO!_

She waved at her next door neighbor and Sempai as she also walked out of her own big, fancy house, waving back and then chiding her Byakuya-Oniisama about letting his breakfast go cold. Then she raced down the street, heading straight for the huge front gates of the thankfully-nearby Mahora Academy.

_Mezameta bakari no, tokimeki hajikesou. Mune POCKET ni tsumete, sora wo miageta. Maegami no yukue wo, kagami to niramekko. ORIGINAL egao de, kakenuketai yo..._

She ran past a new teacher for the University area, a thin, lanky foreign fellow with bottle-bottom glasses, a pet crow perched on a shoulder. For only a moment, he looked up from the newspaper he was reading through, gave the foolishly cheerful youngster a disdainful look, and shook his head to himself, muttering about not having a repeat of that university incident with the football player. He seemed nice.

_Ichibyou goto dokidoki, irodzuku kono hibi ga. __Miraichizu ni naru, takanaru kodou..._

Nanoha heard a loud zoom passing over her head, and looked up to see Chachamaru-sempai flying for the main Academy building, carrying her friend (what was she named again? Evelyn-san?) in her arms. She knew Chachamaru-san, of course, as everyone who ate at the Chao Bao Zi with some frequency did; she was very popular, and there were even rumors about her having her own fanclub. And she, like everyone else, liked her, but still, Nanoha couldn't shake off the feeling there was something TOO WEIRD about Chachamaru-sempai.

Perhaps the fact she FLEW had something to do with it. Nah, it couldn't be. After all, Superman-sama and that Magneto-person on TV with Oprah flew…

_Hikaru kaze wo oikoshitara. Nani ga matteiru no kana. __Amefuri demo heiki, niji ni naru yo. __COLOURFUL HAPPY MATERIAL GO! Kimi ni kitto aeru ne. Chisana yuuki wo, sakase you._

Racing right behind Chachamaru-sempai, lifting clouds of dust at its wake, that odd Genius-sempai's speedster vehicle raced past Nanoha so fast it briefly lifted her skirt up, making her to yelp and push it back down. Genius-sempai (who also worked at the Chao Bao Zi at times, although not as often. Perhaps she just had too many genius things to do at her lab, or something) didn't seem to notice, but her pimply-faced taller friend holding to her waist for safety had started to yell at her about it, all the while Negi-sensei, who in turn was grabbing onto that girl's waist, cried a heartfelt apology to Nanoha. She also could have sworn the ermine perched on his shoulder made a sound oddly similar to 'PINK!' But maybe she was reading too much into it. After all, she had her earphones on. Must be the soundtrack.

Everyone had come to know Negi-sensei through the last term as well, even those he never had taught. He had amassed quite a following; Alisa and Suzuka belonged to his fanclub, or rather one of his fanclubs, if Nanoha remembered correctly, although she was reasonably sure he had no idea he had such clubs devoted to him.

Nanoha honestly couldn't see what was the big deal about him, although she had to admit he seemed a nice person.

_Hayari mo Study mo, youten CHECK OK. Hyouteki wo kakunin, SPEED shoubu. Nodo goshi sawayakana tokubetsu no yokan ga. Kono mune afureteku, kasoku shiteku yo..._

Then a motorcycle also overtook her, with two more motorcycles close by in hot pursuit. Kuga Natsuki-sempai, Kimura Kaere-sempai and Harima Kenji-sempai, two of them the biggest delinquents at the school and one of the biggest weirdoes, never missed a chance to race each other... whenever they actually bothered to show up for classes.

Whenever Nanoha's brother talked about buying a motorcycle, Dad would always say, "Just make sure you don't end up like Harima Kenji." But Nanoha didn't think badly of him. She never had seen him getting into a fight someone else hadn't started first.

And besides, she had always thought you had to convince some people the hard way before befriending them. Not that she could imagine herself ever getting into serious fights because of it...!

_Namida kakushita egao, kimi wa kidzuiteru ne. Koi shiyo! Yume miyo! Watashi rashiku._

Konoka-sempai, the Dean's own granddaughter, passed by next, easily speeding on her roller skates, with her red-haired friend running at her side, somehow managing to keep up with her while complaining about being late. Nanoha remembered hearing some of the girls at her class whispering a few things about her being a 'thespian' along with Genius-sempai and Negi-sensei's roommate. Something about 'a scene' at the public baths... Why so much secrecy about someone else being an actress of sorts, she'd never know, but her classmates were weird like that at times.

_Negai no saki e Jump shitara. _

_Uketomete kureru kana? Nayamu mae ni dekiru koto wo shiyou! __COLORFUL HAPPY MATERIAL GO! Osoroi no kirameki kimi ni todoketai HAPPY READY GO!_

Another teenaged red-haired sempai ran past her, with a loaf of toasted bread in her mouth, muttering angrily something about a stupid Misato not waking her up early. A freckled girl with brown hair followed her, trying to calm her down and actually taking a moment to wave at Nanoha and telling her "Good morning!"

"Good morning!" Nanoha waved back. That sempai was always very kind to everyone. If only she could remember her name...

_Kimi ni todoketai HAPPY READY GO!_

Nanoha finally reached her classmates as they were getting ready to enter the main hall where the end of term ceremony would take place. "Ah! Ah!" she panted. "I almost got here late! Good morning, Alisa-chan, Suzuka-chan!"

"Good morning, Nanoha-chan!"

"Good morning, Sakura-chan, Tomoyo-chan, Naoko-chan, Chiharu-chan, Rika-chan!"

"Good morning, Nanoha-chan!"

"Good morning, Poemi-chan, Futaba-chan!"

"My name's Kobayashi, Kobayashi, KOBAYASHI!"

"Poemi-chan is so cool!"

"Good morning, Cocone-chan!"

"Good morning, Takamachi-san."

"... Cocone-chan..."

"Yes?"

"We really need to work on opening you up a lot more..."

"Thank you for your concern. But I have heard things about your concept of 'Befriending'…"

"ALISA-CHAN!"

Their blond classmate looked aside. "What? I only told her the truth of how we became friends..."

"It was just a push!"

"And some fisticuffs."

"True, but you started those..."

"And then the hair pulling..."

"Ah, yes. I had forgotten that part..."

"And then I pulled the—"

Kinomoto Sakura sweatdropped and waved a hand to stop that happy train of memories. "Hoeee...? Minna-san? The ceremony's about to begin..."

"I WANNA TO BE A VOICE ACTRESS!" Poemi yelled.

* * *

><p>The auditorium was filled to maximum capacity, and the teachers in charge weren't allowing anyone else in. But all of Class 2... excuse us, Class 3-A had made it in time, spurred by Ayaka to take most of the front rows.<p>

The Narutakis yawned almost non-stop, complaining about being waken up too early, with Fuuka occasionally taking brief naps resting her chin on Fumika's shoulder. Such a decadent habit! Evangeline had a completely terrifying flat expression, as if daring anyone to try and talk to her and regret it. Next to her, Chachamaru simply sat in perfect silence and stillness, as only a non-breathing robot could do, her 'Kittens and Negi-sensei' screensaver playing inside..

Yuuna sat a bit apart from the others, next to her father, whispering a few things to him as he nodded and sighed patiently. Satsuki, Chao and Hakase all chatted amiably, with Chisame sitting next to the latter, looking awkward and expectant. Asuna and Konoka chattered amongst themselves as well.

Other classes were more sparsely represented. The formerly High School 1-E, now 2-E's infamous S.O.S. Brigade was in full attendance, along with their more or less frequent partner in crime Tsuruya-san, the Academy's sixth wealthiest student, munching on a chunk of smoked cheese. Class 2-F, now 3-F, was almost fully there as well, except, naturally, for poor Komori Kiri, although she certainly preferred it that way.

But the sixteen year-old boy with the spiky orange hair sitting at the back of the hall had no eyes for any of them. He only could look in thoughtful, distracted silence at a single person, drinking on her beauty, sunk into a depressed silence for far too long before exhaling softly, allowing his frustration to come out.

"Sigh..."

The short, twelve year-old brown haired girl sitting at his left elbowed him. "Rito."

"Huh?" he said, blinking out of his dreamy stupor. "Hm? What's up, Mikan?"

_"The Dean already started,"_ his little sister whispered. _"At least pretend you're listening to him."_

The fifteen year-old red-head with short hair sitting at Rito's other side grunted while still keeping her eyes locked on her cellphone. "Why? As if he's saying anything of any interest. Besides, he can't see us all the way back here."

"How could you know, Nao?" Mikan hissed, her voice still very low but tense. "I'll bet you haven't heard a single word of it..."

"Yadda yadda yadda, kid genius this, kid genius that." Yuuki Nao waved a hand at her cousins without even looking at them. "Whatever!"

As a matter of fact, Konoemon was, indeed, talking about Negi-sensei as the young teacher blushed and kept his head low at the center of the stage.

"—And so, we wish to congratulate Negi Springfield-sensei, who, as of this coming academic year, will be working as a full-time English teacher, and also as the homeroom guide for Middle School Class 3-A..."

Negi fidgeted bashfully, showing his age clearly, as the attendants stood up and clapped. He saw the pride in his students' faces, from Ayaka's nearly tearful one to Chisame's reluctantly but evidently warm contentment; from Makie's unbound glee to Yue's restrained, stoic approval. Never before, not even at his own graduation, he had felt more accomplished. Even Itoshiki looked at him with some sort of almost paternal respect.

"I heard the Dean's so happy with the results he's gonna bring another kiddy teacher this year," Yukari whispered to Nyamo. "Some brat just graduated from the M.I.T., Miyamoto Rebecca or something..."

"Where did you hear that nonsense?" Nyamo asked, scowling.

The girl Rito had been looking at clapped louder than anyone else, always trying to be the most vocal with her almost unending bouts of energetic joy. Again, he stared at her, hypnotized by her beauty.

_Saotome Haruna._

_Always so gorgeous, every time I look at her_.

_Her sweet laughter..._

Haruna's rampant rambunctious laughter echoed through the auditorium, despite her two closest friends' attempts to tone it down a bit.

_Her long, silky black hair. Her gentle, feminine manners..._

Haruna had taken Yue and Nodoka under an arm each, still laughing like a hyperactive hyena, now pressing them against herself until Ayaka finally managed to hush her and make her sit down.

_She's simply the best..._

"Rito..." his sister was whispering at him again.

_I've decided it. I won't wait any longer. Who knows if she could get herself someone else at her class trip? She seems to like her teacher. I... I can't just keep on looking at her..._

"Rito, pay attention to the speech..." Mikan insisted.

_I'll do it today! I'm going to confess my love to her!_

"Ri-to!" Mikan pinched him in an arm. And then Nao as well for good measure. "And you too!"

They yelped in pain, only to promptly be hushed by the nearby attendants. The little girl shook her head in shame. "Why does my own family do this to me?"

"Excuse me, who was the one who pinched whom?" Nao asked angrily, rubbing her arm.

Rito had forgotten the ache already. He was too busy running the schematics of a love letter in his head.

This couldn't end well, poor sucker.

* * *

><p><em>Later that day:<em>

"Akira-chan!"

Akira smiled gently as she walked into the indoor pool area, being greeted by the shorter dark-haired girl. "Good afternoon, Mizuno-san."

The blond, long haired girl with the red bow on her head standing behind Mizuno Ami waited as both teammates took each other's hands and shook them briefly. Then the girl with short hair introduced her. "Akira-chan, I'd like you to meet my roommate, Aino Minako. Minako, this is Ookuchi Akira, the junior star of our team."

"It's a pleasure," Akira said, bowing.

"The pleasure is all mine!" the Minako girl grinned. The white cat roaming around her feet had paused, giving Akira an intense, intrigued look. "I've seen you during Ami-chan's competitions. You swim faster than a dolphin! How do you do it?"

The 3-A student-to-be looked somewhat embarrassed. "Oh, no, it's nothing. I've just trained hard, that's all. I'd never have managed it without Mizuno-san's help, and everyone else's. Besides, I'm still far below Ichinose-sempai's level."

"You mean the girl you're saying goodbye to now?"

"Yes. Ichinose-sempai led us to victory in four straight regional championships," Akira answered. "However, she has just graduated, and she'll be leaving for Toudai."

"Man, you were so lucky to have an ace like her..." Aino mused, rolling her blue eyes around. "I wish we had someone like that in the volleyball team..."

"I'm sure you'll do better next term," Ami told her. "This year, you just had bad luck, going against the Fujimi Academy team..."

"Yeah, I guess so..."

Then Akira felt something small and furry rubbing against her ankles. She looked down to see that it was the white cat that had been prowling around Minako moments before. Inwardly, she was relieved it wasn't Negi-sensei's pet ermine again. That animal had something about it that made her feel uneasy.

"Oh, that's Artemis-kun, my pet. You'll have to excuse him, he's... a bit of a troublemaker," Minako said. "He can't see a pretty girl without going right after her..."

"It's okay. I understand." Akira smiled kindly, picking up the small feline. She was no Chachamaru, but she was still never one to waste the chance to pet a kitten. "He's a very cute kitty..."

The cat looked exactly at her eyes, with almost human precision, as if measuring the sincerity of her words and feelings. It made her nervous for a moment, but she told herself it was a silly thing to feel as she put him back down.

She also vaguely wondered what the deal was with that crescent moon thing on his forehead. Some owners just marked their poor animals with the dumbest looking things...

* * *

><p>Yuuki Rito attempted to draw in a confident breath as he sneaked his way towards the junior high girls' lockers, hoping this time he wouldn't be found out, accused of being a stalking pervert, and beaten up. For that purpose, he applied his best stealth skills, achieved after grueling hours and hours of playing <em>Metal Gear Solid<em>. He'd have bought his cardboard bow to make his disguise absolute, but his sister had gotten to it and thrown it away. Ah, well. As long as he stayed in the shadows…

So far, it had worked like a charm. Miraculously, he had made it to the soon-to-be 3-A lockers without being spotted; most students were at their farewell parties, or planning their class trips, or actually having the courage to declare their love for others face to face.

Rito sighed as he stood before Saotome's locker, his head drooping down in shame. He hadn't even dared to sign the damn letter. How could he be so pathetic? He'd never hear the end of it if his friend Saruyama ever learned about it.

No, that wasn't the way he should be thinking, he told himself. It was better to start a single step a time, right? Coming out at her out of the blue to tell her he loved her wouldn't do. Especially if she liked well-behaved guys like Negi-sensei, and Rito *_did_* want to think he was a well-behaved guy himself.

Maybe he'd scare her if he was too straightforward. After all, she was his kouhai, a younger, virginal, untouched maiden...

Yes, her locker was painted all over with strikingly erotic imagery of shirtless men, but that meant nothing! Right? It was... a perfectly normal thing for girls of that age to like. Nao even had a stash of such magazines under her bed; as he had learned that day while helping Mikan with the cleaning chores. Though he was a bit confused as to why some of his own magazines he'd thought had gone missing had been there as well…

His heart thumped loudly as his trembling hands began pushing the sealed letter ahead, aiming for the lower slit of the closed door. He almost was there. True, his anxious nerves were killing him, but really, all he had to do was to push that thing into the slit and be done with it. It wasn't like it'd hurt, right? She surely was used to it...

To receive love letters, that is...

Someone so gorgeous and... sophisticated... just had to...

Her very presence was so cheerful and warm, it made him feel embraced by a strange tingling aura that sent his soul soaring. Ahhhh, even remembering it made him to feel it all over again...

"Whatcha doing there?" she asked curiously into his ear.

"YAHHHH!" he jumped up, shouting like a strangled animal just caught in a trap. Rito slid back until he found himself with his back pressed hard against a corner. He whimpered, his eyes bulging out like baseballs, "Wh-Wh-Wh-Where did you come from? Why are you here?-!"

"... This is my locker," she said, pointing at it. "I just finished my Manga Club meeting, and I came for a few things. What are *_you_* doing here? Arent'cha a bit far from your classroom, Sempai...?"

"R-Rito! Y-Y-Yuuko Ritu! No, I mean, Yuuki Rito!" the boy blurted, guessing she was subtly asking for his name. "And I was, uh, lost! No particular good reason why I was here!"

Haruna blinked, then looked at the envelope he was clumsily trying to hide behind his back. She could sniff the faint scent of perfume wafting from it, and something else. The bitter taste of candied almonds. Her ahoge twitched wildly, scanning back and forth to confirm. Yes, there was no doubt about it was strong in this one. The Love smirked, looking at the neatly kept locker right beneath hers. "Oh, really...? Sempai, you shouldn't say such lies! I know exactly why you are here!"

"Y-Y-You do?" His whole body went white, and even his hair lost all color.

"You are here... to deposit that love letter!" She pointed an accusing finger at him, although her expression was amused and not angry at all.

"...!" he gasped.

"At Nodoka-chan's locker!" The finger now aimed at the other librarian's private place.

Now that made Rito's face to lose even more color, becoming transparent. It was quite interesting to see, the underlying network of veins and capillaries, the way his muscles all stitched together, the way you could see his bones…

He recovered quickly, however, waving his hands around. "No! No! Definitely not!"

"Why not?" she grinned. "There's no shame on liking Nodo-chan! She's cute, polite, a good cook, smart and sensible! Plus she's small, slim and flat enough to be a loli, and that's _always_ hot. She'll always call you 'Onii-chan' and her voice is always so _sexy _when she does…" She trailed off, drool dripping from a corner of her mouth. Rito found it infinitely fascinating.

"I-I know!" he stuttered. "I mean, vaguely, but I know! But I don't feel that way about her! And this thing I'm holding is not a love letter! I got it from my... from my Mom!"

"Your Mom sends you love letters?" Haruna lifted a thick eyebrow up. A bit more drool began to drip.

"O-Of course not!"

She seemed almost disappointed. "You sure?" she asked, finally wiping the side of her mouth.

"Of course I am!"

"A pity. You have the right kind of face for a protagonist of a doujin like that..." she hummed, framing his face between her hands from a distance, expertly. "No. Wait. You got much more of a Sis-con face. No wonder you like Nodoka. You have a little sister at home?"

Rito's face betrayed shock. "We're allowed to live together here since I act as her guardian... How did you know?!"

"HO! HO, HO HO!" Haruna laughed, very unladylike. Or quite ladylike, since she was imitating how her gymnast sister-in-law-to-be laughed. "I'm an expert at pinning down such things! And you have all the standard traits of that kind of boy!"

Rito was even more impressed by her now. On top of it all, she was so smart...

At the Yuuki dorm, Mikan shuddered as she brushed her teeth. "I feel as if the devil had just mentioned my name..."

From the couch were she lay lazily reading ero-manga, Nao snorted. "Must be Kimura-sensei drooling over you again."

Back at the main Academy building, Haruna chuckled, grabbing the paralyzed Rito by the shoulders. Her proximity had all but broken his mind now. Never before had they been so close. And the way her large breasts all but pressed against his chest now made it all even bett— worse. "Want some tips?" she teased. "Normally, I'd 'ship' Nodo-chan with either Sensei or Yuecchi, but I've got a gut feeling you're a swell guy. However, to be sure of it... I need to read that letter!"

"N-No! No!" he protested. "It's... It's a private letter! And it doesn't have anything to do with Miyazaki-san!"

"Liar! What are you so afraid of? If it's a normal love letter, it won't hurt if I read it! And if it's a lewd, dirty, filthy, sexy, depraved letter full of carnality, indecency and decadent, lustful habits…" she paused a moment to wipe her mouth yet again, " well, it's my duty as Nodo-chan's friend to protect her from you! And I need plotters for my manga, and you could do!"

"Wh-What in the world are you saying?" He tried to escape, but she grabbed him by an arm. "Ahhhh! Lemme go!"

"Lemme see that letter first!" she countered. "Or I'll tell everyone you came here to ambush me and take advantage of me while holding that letter for your originally intended victim!"

He was horrified. "You couldn't!"

She showed her teeth in a perfectly evil sultry smile. "Wanna try me...?"

Oh, even when she was being despicable, she still was so beautiful, he told himself.

Still, he had the strength of mind to resist. "N-No..."

"Oh, for the love of—!" With an annoyed sigh, she snatched the letter away from his hand before he even realized it. Wow, she was fast, too!

"No! No! Please don't read it!" he begged, falling down to his knees, feeling like shame would kill him right then and there. "It isn't mine! It's from my Mom, really! I mean, not like she likes you, but she thought I liked you, and so she thought she should—!"

But she already had ripped the envelope to shreds and was reading through the letter at Yomiko Readman-like speeds, the smile now frozen on her face.

Rito mashed his forehead against the floor and cried a few rivers.

But then he heard her giggle, and an icy shiver ran up his spine.

"Why, Yuuki-sempai..." she crooned slowly, mischievously dragging the words on. "I'm _honored_... Never before had _I_ received a love letter..."

He turned his fearful eyes up at him. "Y-you hadn't...? Seriously...?"

Then he realized his current angle was showing him quite a nice view of her racy black panties, and so he yowled and jumped back again in shame and terror.

Haruna chuckled to herself. Oh, now this had a lot of potential...

* * *

><p>Madoka entered the store carefully, looking around. "Urahara-san?" she asked. "Urahara-san, are you here?"<p>

The shop was eerily quiet and silent, though. Madoka started to regret coming alone. It was as if the portraits at the walls were actually staring at her, and the strange animals mounted at the walls and displayed at cages all around the place were even more unnerving. The strange white and red one that looked like a cross between a cat and a beagle with what look like golden rings at the ends of it ears, stuffed and mounted, seemed strangely intent at her, despite the fact its face was completely blank. For some reason, what looked like a stick of dynamite was stuck up its ass. Surely that was some sort of taxidermist's joke?

Still, moved by her desire to get rid of the thing she was carrying, she walked further inside. "Urahara-san...?"

"They're all gone," a voice told her. "They won't be coming 'til tonight."

She jumped in alarm, but relaxed upon seeing the small redheaded boy sitting at a chair playing with a PSP. He wasn't even looking at her. "Oh! Oh, it's you... Jinta-kun, isn't it?"

"Yeah," he snorted. "What do you want?"

Madoka placed the package she was bringing on the table before the boy, next to a very similar looking package of the same size. We're not even going to _pretend _this isn't going to lead to some sort of hilarious mix-up or relevant plot twist."I came to return this. It's still untouched. It's the bottle of love potion I bought for Valentine's Day..."

"We don't do refunds," the boy mumbled angrily, his eyes still fixed on his _Batman Incorporated Project: Unlosing Baka Rangers vs. Lord Deathman _game. "Against store policy. Best you might get is store credit."

"I don't want the money back," Kugimiya said, scowling at his rudeness. "I just... want to get rid of this thing. Their bottles caused enough problems for Misa and Sakurako, but I know they haven't learned their lesson yet. Sooner or later, they'll take this bottle and try again. And I don't want that on my conscience."

"Good. Then just leave it there. You want something else?"

Madoka looked around again and pointed at a small cage and the horribly cute hairy bipedal creature inside. "That's very kawaii! How much does it cost?"

Jinta gave the cage a glare and cringed. "Ugh, no! That's a Mogwai! It isn't for sale. It's too dangerous."

"What is it? Some sort of monkey?" Madoka found hard to believe such an adorable thing could be dangerous. Maybe it carried diseases?

"Yeah. You could say so," he sounded indifferent, too absorbed in his game.

"Ah. Well, have a good day, then." She headed for the door.

"Yeah, you too..." he mumbled.

Half a hour and a saved game later, a young woman with short black hair, wearing a Maid outfit and carrying several bags in a hand, walked in after ringing the bell. "Good morning, Jinta-kun!"

"Hey, Siesta-san," he droned, losing another life to the Level 6 boss.

"Where are Urahara-sama and the others?"

"Out of town. Won't be coming back for hours."

"Oh... But... I assume my package already arrived?"

"Yeah. That's it on table." He gestured lazily towards one of the packages placed before him, not looking up as he shuffled his equipment around. Stupid boss.

Siesta's eyes shone. "Oh, good! Ojou-sama will be so happy tonight!" She picked up the package and pulled out a big fat wad of cash from her pocket, placing it on Jinta's now extended left hand, the right one till holding his console. "Tell Urahara-sama I'm very thankful!"

"Yeah, fine," he waved her goodbye and kept on playing.

Two hours later, he threw his arms up in victory. "Yeah! I did it! I'm so wonderful!"

Then he looked down at the table, at the package still there. "Uh oh…Meh, what do I care?" He sat back down and booted up _Parasite Evangeline: 3rd Birthday Party. _One way or another, he _would _unlock that pole-dancing mini game!

* * *

><p><em>In the meantime...<em>

As Madoka walked down the street, satisfied on having done the right thing which couldn't possibly ever bring down bad things upon anyone, she ran into the last person she expected to meet that day after doubling a corner.

_Make a contract with me, and I will grant you–_

Whoops, wrong Madoka, and completely wrong fic. Let's try again…

As Madoka walked down the street, satisfied on having done the right thing which couldn't possibly ever bring down bad things upon anyone, she ran into the last person she expected to meet that day after doubling a corner.

"Oh, hey, Kugimiya-chan!" the brown haired girl smiled at her, holding up a hand. "What a happy coincidence to find you here!"

Madoka took a pause, more than slightly concerned. Something told her, very strongly, that meeting had not been a coincidence at all. The face of the girl didn't display any surprise at all. It had 'ALL AS PLANNED' written all over it. Well, point in fact, she had 'ALL AS PLANNED' written large all over her t-shirt, which also bore a wanted poster for that mysterious mass murderer several years ago, Kira. That did not seem like a good omen.

"Oh... Good morning, Suzumiya-sempai!" she said, nodding her head in a vague bow. "Fancy meeting you here, yeah... Wait. I wasn't aware you knew my name..." Or even that she existed, for that matter.

Suzumiya Haruhi shrugged casually, a smug smile dancing on her lips. "What can I say? I make it my business to know the names of those who regularly walk into my club..."

Madoka paled visibly. "I... I've only visited it once or twice. I didn't mean to intrude..."

The older girl leaned forward, almost sticking her face in Madoka's, much to the latter's discomfort. "Intruding? Oh, are you thinking I'm offended or something? Well, I *_do_* like to be informed when someone wants to walk into *_my_* club to hang out with my subordinates, taking their attention away from their duties... But no, I'm not offended or angry!-!-!-!-!" She laughed out loud, and that laugh chilled Kugimiya to the bones. Plus the five exclamation marks, always a sure sign of a disturbed mind. Then Suzumiya made that sly wide grin, showing off her perfect white teeth. It was a terrifying grin as well. The Joker would have taken notes. "Then, did you like what you saw?"

"Oh... Yeah, sure, you have a pretty nice club room..."

"Yeah. I'm sure Kyon had a good time showing it to you, too."

Madoka squirmed in place. She remembered the rumors Misa had helped to spread, about Suzumiya-sempai liking her clubmate Kyon. And her clubmate Mikuru. And her clubmate Itsuki. And her clubmate Yuki. And the Chiu-sama-worshiping computer club president president next door. And farm animals. And actors from old B-movies. And former convicts. And costumed supervillains. And even– her mind reeled at the sheer unnatural evil of it all–Bella, Edward and Jacob.

Okay, so most of those rumors PROBABLY were baseless, but still…

A Twilight Furry fangirl? No one made such claims without _some_ proof.

Like the Team Edward and Team Jacob buttons on her sleeves.

"Look, I didn't want to—" Madoka began, resolving not to touch her in case it was catching, but then Haruhi began fanning herself.

"Whooo, it's a hot day! Wanna go for something cold to drink?"

"Huh? Well, I don't have too much time, but—"

"It's a free day! The term's over already! Don't be a stick in the mud!" She took her by a hand and began dragging her down the street. Just like the rumors had said, she had no concepts of things like personal space. "And besides, it won't take long! I just want to drink something while I tell you everything about our offer!"

Madoka was really freaked out now. SHE WAS TOUCHING A TWILIGHT FURRY FAN!-!-!-!-! SHE WAS GOING TO DRINK HER BLOOD!-!-!-!-! "What offer?-!"

"Relax! You won't be obliged to wear the Playboy bunny suit yet!" Suzumiya-sempai said, as if that was the most natural thing in the world.

Madoka wanted to run, but that hand's grip was just damn strong. She was doomed.

She repressed the urge to whimper as horrifying visions of being part of the sparkly-vamp slave-cult flashed before her eyes…

* * *

><p>Suzumiya Haruhi took a long, deep sip from her iced tea and made a loud sound of satisfaction. At the other end of the restaurant table, Madoka sat in an uneasy silence, her glass still untouched.<p>

"Can I call you Kugimin? 'Madoka-chan' just sounds too cutesy-Faustian somehow, and 'Kugimiya-san' is just plain lame," Suzumiya-sempai said insolently, in that eternally careless way of hers.

"I'd prefer you didn't..." the cheerleader began.

"Don't be shy, Kugimin! It's a very pretty nickname, and you shouldn't be ashamed of it!" Haruhi laughed. The longer it took, the more Madoka grew convinced she was trying to butter her up, but failing since she wasn't used to it. "Anyway, what are you willing to do for our club, assuming we accept your request to join?"

"What the—? I never asked to join you!" the younger student exclaimed.

"Then why would you be visiting our club, hmmm?"

"Well, I... uh, I was just feeling some... curiosity..."

"That's great! Curiosity is what our club's all about!" She was unfazed. "Tell me, Kugimin, haven't you ever wondered about the great secrets of the universe?"

"You mean like the meaning of life? If you want a philosopher, you should be asking Yue..."

"Not like that!" Haruhi groaned in annoyance. "I mean the great mysteries of the unknown! Think about it! We live surrounded by marvels, yet we can't ever reach them! Our grandparents never had so many wonders they could see and read about! And yet, even in this age, you could spend your whole life without looking at anything supernatural to the face! This is why our S.O.S. Brigade has come into existence! To contact the beings mankind only dreams about, or only can look at from a long distance!" She stood up, tightening a fist. "And that's where you come in, Kugimin! You, and your first hand connections with the unusual!"

"I have connections with the unusual? Since when?" Kugimiya gasped. "Sure, Misa's a bit loose regarding morals, and Sakurako has more luck than anyone should have, but—"

"It's not only them! Your classroom's full of people out of the norm! Take that Chachamaru girl, for instance!"

"Chachamaru? What about her?"

"She's a robot!"

"Nonsense! Robotics aren't that advanced yet!"

"She freakin' FLIES!"

"So? She spends a lot of time around Hakase and Chao. And they invent all sorts of weird jetpacks and rocket boots and stuff..."

"She has LONG METAL EARS!"

"I think they are devices to help her hear better."

"And green hair!"

"So does your friend Tsuruya-san!"

"Well... I have my theories about her too... Regardless, your class is full of weirdoes, and that's why we might consider your humble petition to join our selected cadre!"

"Wait, are you asking me to join, or am I supposed to ask you to join? Also, shouldn't you be asking those weirdoes to join instead of me?"

Haruhi grinned slyly. "Oh, playing hardball in the negotiations, aren't we? I like that in a woman, but you still won't get more than the average package for new members!"

"If you stopped to listen to me, you'd know I'm not—!"Madoka began, but then a giggle coming from another table made her stop in mid sentence. She turned her head around, with Haruhi quickly following her gaze, and saw Haruna sitting at a table at the other end of the restaurant, happily chatting and eating a banana split with a shy looking older boy.

Now that had been an unexpected random twist. She'd have expected her to be under the table eating something else…

* * *

><p><em>At the Indoor Pool.<em>

Akira watched with quiet but noticeable curiosity how that Minako girl interacted with the rest of the swimming team as they arrived one after another. Well, she certainly was a lively one. She reminded her a bit of a slightly saner, but rather bubblier Yuuna.

"So you come from Britannia, then? I lived in Britannia for two years!" she reminisced, patting the slender orange haired Sempai on a shoulder. "I even met Artemis there..."

Shirley-sempai nodded while petting the purring Artemis' head, keeping him on her lap. "I used to have a kitty back at home, too!" she said in cheerful but somewhat slow and clumsy Japanese. "His name's Arthur. But I had to leave it with my friend Milly before coming here."

"Where did you study?" Minako asked her.

"Ashford Academy."

"Ashford!" the blonde gasped. "No way! That school's for royalty!"

Shirley laughed it off. "There's not enough royalty left in all Europe to fill a school! It wasn't that different from Mahora, actually. Dad... has a position inside the Britannian government, but that's all. Now Milly, she's an actual, blue blooded noble. Her family founded the Academy, and she's been engaged to a person of the highest ranks at—"

"A Prince?!" Minako squealed, almost rushing on Shirley like a child high on sugar. "Oh, that's so AWESOME! I'd love if we could have a handsome, noble prince here at Mahora!"

_Not excessively far away, Negi looked up from the book he was reading through._

_"Something wrong?" Chisame asked him as she set her cameras up, ready for another session of Chiu being gorgeous_.

_"Nothing... For some reason, I just had a feeling someone was calling for me..."_

_Somewhere else on campus, Chiba Mamoru frowned. "Suddenly, I get the feeling this is going to be a work day…"_

Back at the pool, the two girls continued chatting while Ami laughed awkwardly, looking at Akira. "Minako-chan has always had no problem making new friends."

"I see," Akira nodded, pondering.

"How's your roommate doing?"

"Ako's health has improved a lot lately. For some reason, she's seemed livelier and more active during the last few months."

"Hmmmm. Glad to hear it," Ami nodded thoughtfully. Her mother had checked on the Izumi girl's state personally a few times, as a favor to Akira. They had found no signs of the actual illness that had claimed Ako's aunt Kanata all those years ago, but still, the girl's health had always been erratic at best. Moreso since her accident...

Then another female voice came from the gates. "Sorry we're late!"

Nyamo-sensei was coming in with an apologetic smile, followed by a tall, beautiful girl on the brink of adulthood, whom Minako thought had to be the so-beloved Ichinose-sempai. Aino was truly taken aback by her mature, sophisticated attractiveness for a few moments, so much she failed to notice how Artemis had tensed up on Shirley's lap, narrowing his eyes nearly to slits, his small nose twitching.

* * *

><p>"Satomi-chan?" Sakurako asked with a bit of apprehension as she arrived to the rendezvous place. "I came as soon as I got your message. Sorry if I'm late..."<p>

Hakase sighed as she shook her head, looking aside with discomfort. "No, I just got here myself. Thanks for coming. This... is not something we could talk about over the phone."

The cheerleader felt a sting of danger at the back of her head, while noticing the shame on Hakase's face, and her reluctance to look straight at her. "I see... Any reason in particular why you chose this place...? It's not very..." she cut herself in mid-sentence before finishing with the 'romantic' word. She felt it wouldn't do just then.

"Well, the swim team have finished practicing for the term, as I understand it, and without them here, the... curious boys and Honsho-sempai won't be around either," the scientist said, fully ignorant of the meeting taking place inside of the building. They were behind it, with absolutely no one else in sight anywhere. We are _also _not going to make any effort to hide _this _will somehow end badly.

Shiina sighed sadly, for once not wanting to spend time on chatter or attempts at small talk. "You want to tell me we're over, don't you?"

Hakase cringed, feeling the guilt biting cruelly all over her. "You... You knew it from the start! I told you back then, at the Christmas party. You're special for me, but..."

"Yes. I know."

Satomi bit her lower lip. Oh, if only there could be formulas and equations to solve this kind of problem...

_Somewhere, on a distant, dark planet, Darkseid nearly sneezed as he did his daily brood-ups, pondering the Anti-Life Equation…_

"I'm sorry," she said. "But it should be for the best to interrupt this before it gets more serious."

"I want to know..." Sakurako's voice trembled, "Why now? What happened that made you decide this? It was because of the Valentines thing, right? I knew I never should have done something so stupid...!"

"No! No! I already told you, that didn't bother me! It was just... well..."

She paused, unable to continue, but then she looked at Sakurako's sad, expectant–but not demanding– face.

"Sorry. You deserve knowing the truth," Satomi relented. "Chisame and I kissed."

The cheerleader blinked. "You did?"

"Yes. And it was... so brief, but so wonderful. Like solving an equation that has been bugging you for five years, or that moment when your creation comes to life, making you all but a god! A GOD!-!-!-!-!...Ahem. S-Sorry. Got carried away for a moment... Your kisses, your warmth, were great as well, but while I kissed her... I realized I never wanted to leave her side. And Negi-sensei's as well. I know that's hideous, and it makes me a horrible person of decadent habits who does not belong in society, but... but..."

"Don't beat yourself up over it..." Sakurako sighed, sitting down on the grass, wiping a furtive tear from the corner of an eye. "I like Negi-kun, too. Then again, who doesn't..."

"Asuna doesn't."

"That's different. Asuna-chan has... her own brand of tastes."

"Neither does Madoka."

"She does. I've seen the photos under her pillow. She's just in denial." She felt tempted to say Madoka also had photos of someone else in there, to make Satomi feel better about her supposed uniqueness, but then decided she already had betrayed enough of her secrets as it were.

"Or Zazie-san..."

"You sure? With her, it's impossible to say..."

"Right. Well, what about Satsuki-san..."

"Sat-chan loves everyone," Sakurako mused with deep sadness. "If this were a manga, people would be spreading memes about how 'Sat-chan is love'…"

Hakase sat down next to her, caressing her left shoulder. "I'm terribly sorry. But I'm not sure my feelings for them are simple 'liking'..."

"How about their feelings for you? Do they return them?"

"..." she looked down at her feet.

"Satomi-chan, you can't keep on pursuing a relationship with someone who doesn't love you that way..." Shiina said, the irony of her statement blissfully flying over her head.

"Of course I can! I've devoted my whole life to Science, who can't love me back! It doesn't make her any less beautiful, either!" she protested.

Sakurako ran a hand over her own face. "Satomi-chan, will you please stop anthropomorphizing your fields of study? It's a bit, how do you call it…? Demeaning for us real human beings."

"Forgive me," she said sheepishly.

"Never mind. What did Chisame say about the kiss?"

"She didn't get angry, but she told me it shouldn't happen again."

"And what does Negi-kun think of it?"

"He doesn't know it yet."

"Then, don't you think you'd better move on with someone who could actually love you back that way?"

She scratched the back of her neck. "That makes solid theoretical sense, I suppose, but somehow, I cannot feel myself compelled to attempt it..."

Sakurako leaned ahead and placed a peck on her shiny forehead. "Please. Don't give up on us yet."

Tentatively, after a moment of hesitation sweetened by the scent of temptation (or maybe it was just Sakurako's perfume), Satomi leaned ahead as well and briefly kissed her right cheek. "I feel so... conflicted. Like I'm betraying my heart, and my loved ones, no matter what..."

"I'm sure we can think of a solution. After all, you're a genius," Sakurako grew adventurous, now landing a mischievous kiss on her lips. It tasted spicy.

"Ah-hah..." Satomi rasped, too overcome by the sensations of the moment to think too clearly. "I believe I have heard of a term that might hold a solution for our current troubles..."

At the same time, at Library Island, Yue and Nodoka had taken a breather from the physically exhausting task of categorizing encyclopedias and had started playing trivia games.

Yue looked at the question card she had just pulled out. "Oh, Haruna would know this for sure. I wonder what's taking her so long? 'What's the term for the marital arrangement where two consorts agree on taking on at least one third person as a lover to one or both of them?'"

Nodoka's face went bright red, but she still said, without losing a single moment, "Sai-shou-dou-kin!-?"

Yue looked coolly at her face. "You didn't waste time on coming up with it, did you?"

"I-I-I was just reading a book on old Japanese traditions yesterday..."

"Hmmmm," Yue nodded, shuffling the question cards again. _Oh God, she sounded so hot when she said that..._

Nodoka tried to regain her embarrassed breath. _Oh my God, she sounded so... hot... while asking that..._

* * *

><p>Rito watched, with red cheeks and huge blank eyes, how Haruna ate her banana split. He was quite sure that wasn't the right way to do it, and he had the growing-by-the-moment ill feeling she was doing it to tease him, and his conscience kept yelling at him that was B-A-D, but even so, he couldn't take his eyes off from her.<p>

The other customers also had started noticing her... peculiar style of eating, staring with varying degrees of discretion and bewilderment. Ignoring them, or maybe, just maybe, pretending to ignore them while basking in their scandalized faces, Haruna paused, sensually licking the thin moustache of ice cream off her upper lip, and smiled at the boy. Her face, still covered with a few milky ice-cream stains, looked for all the world like she just– no, BAD LINE OF THOUGHT, BAD LINE OF THOUGHT!"What's the problem, Rito-kun? You've barely touched yours. It's going to melt soon..."

"S-S-Sorry!" he eeped, digging into it with a trembling hand and spoon. "S-So, um... It's all right for us to be here right now? D-Don't you have a club meeting right now?"

Saotome shrugged, waving her spoon around for emphasis. "Yuecchi and Nodoka can handle it themselves. I can't be babysitting them all the time."

"All right," Rito said hesitantly.

Haruna took another calculated mouthful of banana. People all across the room gulped. "So, you want to be my boyfriend, don't you, Rito-kun?"

"I-I-I haven't said that!" he gasped.

Haruna's gaze went just a wee bit jaded. "Oh, Rito-kun, please. Don't insult my intelligence."

"I... I didn't pretend that, either!" He grew even more scared.

"Geez, you're a real sack of nerves! You really need a good woman to straighten you out!" she told him. "Relax! The absolute worst thing that could happen is I'd reject you! It wouldn't be the end of the world!"

"I-I-I knew it! You're going to reject me!" he lamented.

"I HAVEN'T SAID THAT YET!" Haruna shouted, losing her cool for once. For crying out loud, was he related to Itoshiki-sensei or something?

_Somewhere, Itoshiki Nozomu looked up. "I sense yet another joke at my expense…I'M IN DESPAIR! MY LACK OF PLOT RELEVANCE THIS CHAPTER HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"_

From their new hiding and watching place behind a column, Madoka snorted, keeping her voice as low as she could. "No, the worst thing that could happen to him would be her acceptance..."

Haruhi-sempai bit her lower lip, entranced by the sight of Haruna's eating. Madoka noticed Suzumiya's hands were hovering dangerously close to her crotch, and it seemed it was taking her a lot of effort to restrain herself from beginning an intense self-touching session. It creeped Kugimiya out to no end. "I like that girl already... She's the mangaka, isn't she? We could use her for a SOS Brigade manga..."

Madoka cringed inwardly, dreading the kind of product such an unholy union might spawn. "M-Maybe we should just leave..."

A tall, spindly girl with long reddish hair, wearing a waitress uniform, approached them. "Girls? Excuse me, but are you going to order something else? Not to be rude, but my bosses have a new 'No eating, no stalking' policy...'"

She sheepishly pointed at a nearby sign with those exact same words on it, and also displaying a photo of Tsunetsuki Matoi with 'NOT ALLOWED HERE UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES' written under it. A smaller picture showing the grim-faced, rather handsome in a generic way features of Sagara Sousuke was underneath that, with his own letters reading 'NOT ALLOWED WITHIN TEN YARDS OF PREMISES DUE TO RESTRAINING ORDER. PERSON TO KICK HIS ASS IF THIS IS VIOLATED WILL RECEIVE A WEEK'S FREE FOOD. MANAGEMENT IS NOT LIABLE FOR ANY INJURIES SUSTAINED IN PURSUIT OF THIS'.

Haruhi hushed her, pushing a few coins into her hands and whispering angrily, "Not now, Unazuki-chan! Bring us some candy bars and don't be a bother, okay?"

Furuhata Unazuki sighed while walking away for the Snickers bars. Her brother Motoki had the right idea when he moved away to study at Juuban. She'd have to see if she could get herself a spot there next year.

Idly, she also wondered why all those weirdoes couldn't just stay at the Chao Bao Zi.

* * *

><p>Madoka mumbled as she followed Haruhi-sempai down the street. "This is stupid. Shouldn't be talking about that membership you offered me?"<p>

"Very eager to join, aren't you?" the older girl chuckled creepily, never looking back as she rubbed her hands. "Later, later! Right now, I'm more interested on knowing what your friend's up to!"

"I'm not eager to join, and she isn't my friend!" Madoka hissed. "Only my classmate! Anyway, what's so interesting for you about that? It's... only a date! I thought you weren't interested on anything not related to the supernatural, super heroes or Sci Fi!"

"Who's to say they don't have anything to do with that either?" Suzumiya asked cryptically. "My intuition's telling me that guy has all the signs of an alien contactee. Ever heard the rumors about the Tomobiki incidents one year ago? It happens all the time; wimpy looking losers like that get involved with local girls, then they get engaged to alien princesses, dragging their whole circles of acquaintances into madcap intergalactic adventures..."

_Somewhere, Negi and Asuna both sneezed…_

"That's plainly absurd..." Kugimiya grumbled. Luckily, Haruna and her companion seemed completely unaware of them, walking far ahead. Haruna seemed intent on making cheerful small talk with him, while he only replied with star-struck monosyllables and dumb nods.

Madoka hated to admit it, but she felt fairly sure even Haruna deserved a better man than that.

* * *

><p>Minako watched on with star-struck fascination as Ichinose Tamao-sempai chattered with her teacher and club mates, after greeting her in the most charming fashion imaginable. Damn it, why had she never thought of joining the swimming team? Now the chance of being friends with such a wonderful, sociable and commanding person would be lost forever...<p>

Artemis, on the other hand, just sat on her lap with as much of a gloomy expression as a cat could make. She didn't pay him any attention, but he seemed to be uneasy and on the edge about something.

Really, not even going to pretend.

The small farewell party was simply lovely. Minako had always believed all kinds of parties should be as big and loud as possible, but this one had its charm, too. She even could almost forgive the fact there were no boys. Almost.

However, she eventually noticed that Akira girl wasn't putting too much of her heart into it.

"Something troubling you?" Minako discreetly asked her.

"Huh? Oh, no, not actually. It's just..." she lowered her voice, "I don't know, it's something about Ichinose-senpai. It's almost as if there's something... _off_ about her." She rubbed her forehead and shook her head. "No, forget it. I'm just saying nonsense now."

See five paragraphs up. Not even.

The blonde patted her on a shoulder. "It's her last day with you! No doubt she's feeling down, but she's trying to keep a happy face for your sakes. That must be why she feels different to you."

Akira nodded with an apologetic smile. "Yes. You're right. I should be trying to feel happy for her..."

"Oh, yeah, definitely! Toudai's so full of rich, handsome guys, or so I've heard...!" Minako swooned. "If so many rumors say so, it can't be untrue!"

Akira couldn't help giggling at the antics of Ami's quirky friend.

"Girls. Sensei..." Ichinose-sempai finally mused with a placid, yet melancholic smile, walking apart from the group and standing at the pool's edge, with her back turned towards them. She looked down at the quiet waters, crossing her arms. "I'll never forget the time we spent together. Please, come closer. There's something very important I must tell you..."

"What is it, Dear?" the teacher asked as she approached, the rest of the Swimming Team trailing shortly after. Minako and Artemis hung back down respectfully.

"For so long..." Ichinose's teeth clenched, her face suddenly straining as she extended an arm ahead. "For so long, I've been with you..."

Then Minako felt it too. Like a punch in the stomach, burning all the way up to her brain, telling her something was horribly wrong.

"Day after day, week after week, until the weeks became months, and the months were years..." Her voice was now literally sizzling, as her face became even more strained to a suddenly disturbing degree, making Akira to take an instinctive step back, and Shirley to cringe. "**Enduring **you, your inanities, your disgusting dry smells, your awful body warmth..."

"Sempai...?" Ami's own instincts, sharpened over the dozens of kidnappings and life threatening situations that somehow naturally come with being a Sailor Senshi's best friend, honed over several filler episode before this that we won't bother showing you because it's not important and anyway you can already guess that's on them, finally kicked in. "What are you saying...?"

"Mammals," the taller girl spat out with disgust. There was something in her extended hand. She was crushing it between her fingers, reducing it to fine orange powder that fell into the pool. "Slow, clumsy, hideous land dwelling **monsters**..."

"LOOK OUT!" Aino cried out, just as her cat bit on her left ankle, trying to force her way back. "SHE'S GOT TANG!"

And then the water boiled up and bubbled, making strange, spastic noises as it rose up as a seemingly gelatinous, vaguely Tang-like being before splitting into several misshaped things.

Ichinose-sempai grinned, her mouth flashing several sudden rows of sharp, long fangs reminiscing of a shark's teeth. "But now, it's all worth it. I know for sure one of you has the Star Seed!"

"Oh my God!" Ami stepped back as well, far too many unpleasant flashbacks of said filler episodes not told in this fanfic coming back to haunt her. Behind her, Shirley had let out a long shriek. Nyamo-sensei just stared flabbergasted, wondering if Yukari had slipped something into her drink again. Akira stood back in silent, terrified awe.

"Minako!" the cat whispered a single urgent word to his owner.

She looked down, determination coming back to her after the initial stupor, and nodded only once, quoting another blond girl fighting a lonely war against the forces of evil using shape-changing powers given to her by a four-legged furry thing.

_"Let's do it!"_

* * *

><p>"I love fish," Haruna smiled as she looked at the giant tank before them, drinking in the sight of the colorful schools swimming in it. "They are so beautiful, like artistic masterpieces of nature... they're like the breasts of the sea!"<p>

_Mahora Municipal Aquarium._

Rito watched on, silently enjoying the pleased expression on her face. Now that was why he liked her. She was always so full of wonder and excitement over everything, never looking down or miserable. So unlike himself...

"So, um, do you have a fish tank at home...?" he asked awkwardly.

"Oh, of course not! They're pretty, but also a bother to look after," she said. "How about you?"

"I... I'm better at looking after plants, actually..." he confessed.

"Oh, that's cool too. And your class is...?"

"H-High School Class 1-A, Ma'am!" he stiffly said, as if saluting a superior demanding for an explanation. "Moving up to 2-A this year!"

Haruna chuckled in amusement. "There you go again, jumping up like a scared cat! Rito-kun, I told you, I'm not going to bite you... Unless you want me to..."

The boy grew red again, backing away in panic. Haruna actually 'hmphed' at that. "You sure you don't want me only to convince yourself you aren't gay?"

"O-OF COURSE I'M NOT!"

"Not like there's anything wrong with that! Many of my best friends are gay. Well, most of them aren't actually my friends, just my models for Yaoi manga, but still, that counts, right? There's this modeling group called the Straw Hats…"

"I'm not gay!" he waved his hands around, then shrunk down after noticing a few passersby were giving him odd looks.

"Okay, you aren't. Sorry," Haruna said. "Do you think there's something wrong with being gay?"

"Ah? Eh? No, of course not!" Rito gasped.

"And bisexual?"

"Bi... se—?-?" Rito couldn't finish the word, sweating cold.

"Because I am," she casually said. "Well, I consider myself one anyway. I haven't sealed the deal with anyone yet, but... Hey, you feeling okay? Need some fresh air? All of a sudden, you look like you're dying there..."

Rito let out several incoherent whimpers.

Several halls away, Suzumiya Haruhi stared in fascination at the gigantic tank holding several large American trout. Their heads were stark white, and their mouths were grotesquely stretched into something that resembled a mockery of a human grin.

"I had read a lot about this!" she gushed with perverse fascination. "Ever heard about the 'Laughing Fish' incident at Gotham three years ago? Even now, all fish born in those waters have faces like these... Wicked cool, huh?"

"I think it's sickening," Madoka, instead, looked at another tank, labeled _Hydrochelonius Pararakelsins_. Several turtles swam across it, and whenever they surfaced up, she could hear their long, high pitched meowing sounds. She didn't know turtles could ever meow. "Not that I'm complaining, but why aren't we following Haruna anymore? We chased them all the way here, after all. She can't be far; we only lost sight of them for a few—"

Haruhi interrupted her, waving a hand as they passed a tank labeled _Spongius Bobus Crapins_. "This investigation must be performed in stages! We were getting too close; they'd have found us out soon enough. And this is even more interesting..." her eyes grew bright while staring and staring at the grinning fishes. The glamorous world of American supervillainy had always mesmerized her. "But if you really want to stay on that topic, don't you think maybe it's more likely they are fish people instead of aliens? They came here, after all, and who the Hell goes to an aquarium of their own will?"

"What's wrong about it?" Kugimiya was truly exasperated. "It's a perfectly normal dating place! And fish people? That's even more absurd than the aliens!"

"Superman is an alien," Haruhi pointed out.

"Bull. Everyone knows he's really the result of an American super solder pro—" Madoka stopped herself in mid sentence, shuddering. She was starting to sound like **her**!

"Alien!" Haruhi insisted. "As for the fish people, there are precedents! During World War Two, there were several confirmed sightings of a violent oceanic humanoid calling himself Prince Namor of Atlantis!"

"Atlantis. Yeah, sure, and I'm the princess of the Greek Amazons," Madoka muttered.

_Somewhere, Diana, the Greek Princess of the Amazons, sneezed. The ritual orgy in the name of Aphrodite was paused to get her a tissue, and then continued…_

"Sheesh, you're so dense," Haruhi began walking to the exit. "Just for that, you'll start at the very bottom at the S.O.S. Brigade! Until we teach you how to improve that negative attitude!"

"Hey, I haven't said I'll join!" the younger girl dashed after her.

"See? You're being negative again! You're even worse than Kyon!"

Madoka groaned, thinking Misa didn't seem so crazy now.

She also wondered exactly why she hadn't violently parted ways with the insane Sempai yet.

And yet, she kept on following her until they returned to the Academy.

* * *

><p>"The hardest part about locating a true Senshi Star Seed is," Ichinose began, calmly and business-like now, as the water monsters began sprouting out of the pool, quickly snagging the girls' bodies and making them to scream, "their power is so intense, their light is so bright, it's very difficult to locate them. You can pinpoint the general area they are at easily enough, but it's such a long range power, it could be inside into any of you, just blanketing the whole area most of you frequent."<p>

"Sempai...!" Shirley Fenette struggled, the water blobs tightening around her body, holding her up higher. The water began to get hotter, much hotter, even corrosive, beginning to burn through her clothes. "P-Please don't do this! I don't know why are you saying all that, but—"

"Of course you don't," Ichinose sneered, as her lower body began to shift and change, her legs melding fast into a long and thick monstrous tail reminiscing that of a fish. Her mouth expanded, morphing into jaws armed with huge fangs. "You, pathetic, sad creature, unwitting ape, couldn't ever understand the pain your race has inflicted upon mine. We are all but extinct now, we, who once were the masters of all oceans. All due to you! But once we're done with our task, you'll never be able to stake a claim on this planet again!"

"I don't get it..." Nyamo-sensei squirmed, trying to pull her arms down to cover her now almost fully exposed chest, but failing to resist the blob monster's shockingly solid (for a liquid creature) grip. "Are you a mutant? An alien? A—"

"Mermaid..." the upperclasswoman hissed, her tongue snaking out, running over her teeth."You should know many 'myths' are indeed true, Sensei, even if not the way your fairy tales have told you. Once, we, those you would call 'monsters', ruled over a better, pure Earth. Until the age of man eliminated us, one by one, just because we were different. You preyed on us, so it's just fair now we prey on you. Lord Jadeite was right. It just feels... right. But enough talking. Let's see if you're the one who—"

Then she made a pause, looking at the snared girls and noticing one of them was missing. "Where's your bimbo blond friend?"

No one said nothing, but a few grunts of pain and a few muttered curses.

The mermaid slithered over to Ami and yanked on her hair. "She's your friend! Tell me, where did she go?!"

"Don't touch her!" Akira yelled at her, her usually placid face replaced by a furious grimace. "You may pretend we're the monsters, but you're the one behaving like one!"

Ichinose snarled, reaching over to squeeze her cheeks, hard. "Silence. Silence, if you aren't going to say anything useful!" She gestured for one of the monsters that were not holding any girl at the moment. "My dear Orphan, scan the area and strike that idiot down before she alerts anyone! Now!"

With an unintelligible sound, the thing slithered away, out of the building, as if following a trail.

Ichinose smiled. "Interesting. It seems it found a nearby large source of magical power. Maybe I underestimated your stupid friend, Ami-chan. And if she really has magical powers, or even a Senshi Star Seed..."

She made her way back to Mizuno even as Akira defiantly yelled at her to stop, to strike at her instead if she wanted to.

"... It stands to reason you're the best candidate for the girl I'm looking for!"

Then she pushed an arm ahead, slamming her hand against Ami's chest.

* * *

><p>Haruna and Rito were now sitting on the swings of a small, solitary children's playground, silently watching the sun setting down.<p>

The boy sulked moodily, while she had on a mostly neutral expression. Finally, she said, "Feeling better now?"

"Y-Yeah!" he replied. "Thanks..."

"Look, I'm sorry if I disappointed you," she said. "But you had the right to know right off the bat. Like I told you, it's not like I'm ashamed of it! But you seem to be a... traditional boy, so... I don't think it'd really work between us," she whispered.

"I understand.."

"Sorry about teasing you before. I shouldn't have given you those hopes. I wasn't really thinking about it."

"No, never mind. Just... forget it."

She grabbed his hand before he could stand up. "Rito-kun. It's not you. Believe me, if you could be happy with... someone like me, I'd have accepted being your girlfriend in a heartbeat."

"For real?"

"Yeah! You're cute, and you truly seem to care. You know what I don't like? That kind of guys who go bragging about how macho and tough they are, and they only stare at your breasts while you are talking to them. True, you looked at my breasts all the time too, but you weren't that shameless about it, and really, who can blame you?"

"I... I didn't—!-!-!"

She glared at him. "I don't like being lied to either, Rito-kun."

"S-Sorry!"

She regained her good mood just as quick. "Don't mind. Like I said, I understand! I can appreciate a good pair of boobs, too!"

Rito had to laugh, even if weakly. "Y-You say the most daring things...!"

She shrugged. "I think everyone should always say what's on their minds. I don't like secrets or lies." She swung around twice. "Maybe I'm a wee bit too frank, but I'd prefer people to like me for what I truly am."

Bashfully, he lowered his head and nodded, feeling he had to say something. "F-For the record, I still... lo-like you."

She stopped, and smiled at him. It was sweet in a way. "No joke? Even after what I said?"

"Yeah! Th-That doesn't change the kind of person you are, right? Just... the kind of people you like."

"I suppose that's one way of putting it, yeah."

"Saotome-san..."

"Call me Haruna-chan. What is it?"

"Is there... someone else in particular you like? I mean, beyond th-the basic boundaries of 'girls and boys'?"

"Yes. Yes, there is. I think I may be falling in love with Negi-sensei. I also love Yuecchi and Nodo-chan. And ever since Valentine's Day, I can't help but thinking Chisame-chan is hella sexy..."

The boy made an involuntary grimace of shock. "And... and... which one would you choose if you had to?"

"I'd prefer not having to choose."

"H-Haruna-san!"

"It's Haruna-chan to you! And I know, everyone think it's dirty, but why do we always have to choose a single person to spend our lives with? When you have siblings, aren't you expected to love all of them equally, and aren't you expected to love both your parents all the same? A teacher is required not to have any favorites, and a prime minister not have any favorite regions! And yet, when you have romantic feelings for two people at once, everyone demands you to pick one and forget all about the other one! That's not what love is! Love is not about forgetting your loved ones just because there's someone else!"

"W-Well, I only have one sister, so I wouldn't know about favorite siblings..." he babbled, his brain trying to cope by attending to a side detail. "No, but wait, you can love several people at once. It's just you should love only one **that **way..."

She glared at him. "Rito-kun."

"Y-Yeah?"

"Why is that?"

"Because it's that way! Otherwise, you're just leading two people around! That's cheating!"

"Is it cheating if everyone knows what are they getting into?"

"I... I suppose technically it isn't, but..."

"But no one is ever willing to put up with that. Heck, enforced monogamy is really just a derived byproduct of state-recognized unions because they don't want people to abuse the tax exceptions granted to a married individual! Hell, even the term 'cheating' has to do with taxes!" She sighed, looking down. For once, she stopped smiling. "I know that maybe I'll die an old maid because no one will take me up on my offers. But if it's so... so be it!" Again, she sighed, lifting her head back up and forcing herself to smile. "But at least, I'll be honest with my feelings. Dad always says you should play for everything or nothing. I don't want to half-live my life."

"I'm sure you'll find someone who is willing to have you and two or three other pretty girls at once, someday..." he tried to laugh to make her feel better, despite the knife he felt sinking red hot into his heart.

"Thank you. That's very kind. I hope you find the actually good, sensible girl you need, too..."

"Don't say that! You're good and sensible, too! It's just you're... different..."

She blinked. "You're the first person ever to say that." A beat. "You're a horrible judge of character!"

"Am not!"

She was about to protest, but then groaned and shook her head. "Please go. Before I really, really like you, too."

"Haruna-san...?"

"And before I start having these thoughts about you with Sensei and Yuecchi and Nodoka and me, and... AHHH, IT'S STARTING! Ooooh, that's a damn good mental image...! I could use it for a doujin!"

Rito's face twitched. "Haruna, you're scaring me!"

Slowly, Haruna grinned, a small glint in her eyes. "Rito-kun..."

"Yes?"

"You still haven't gone, have you?"

"Ummm, no... Should I...?"

"Why haven't you gone? Maybe you like hearing me talking about how bi I am, and about my hot friends?"

"Of course not! I was just trying to make you feel better about it!"

She didn't relent. "But you still like me, don't you? You told me so!"

"What does that gotta with...? You were the one saying it wouldn't work!"

"I know! I'm just frustrated it can't work!"

Rito cringed. Women could be so damn scary at times...

"I'd like you to be my boyfriend..." she said.

Rito went stark white from head to toes.

"But I know you can't accept my kinks, and I shouldn't force them on you. You're too nice a guy for that," she said. "So please go. Before you make me like you any more."

"But—"

"DAMMIT, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH RESTRAINT IS THIS TAKING FROM ME? Just so I don't hurt your feelings? I don't _**DO **_restraint! I totally suck at it!"

But he didn't move away. "Haruna..."

"I'm warning you," she hissed. "If you don't go away in five seconds, I'll take it as a sign you're just bullshitting me with that 'I'm a monogamous traditional guy who can't have a girlfriend willing to have sex with lots of other girls with me' attitude, and you wouldn't mind sharing me over losing me..."

"Y-YOU CAN'T MAKE THOSE KINDS OF DEMANDS ON PEOPLE!"

"Five..."

He found, to his horror, that his feet still wouldn't move. "THINK OF WHAT YOU'RE SAYING!"

"Three..."

"WH-WHAT HAPPENED TO FOUR?!"

"That's an unlucky number. Two..."

"I'M NOT READY YET TO MAKE THAT KIND OF DECISION!"

"One..."

"SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"Zero." She flashed a winning, perverse grin, and then jumped up to wrap him in a tight embrace, pulling him against her body, and landing a fierce, needful, demanding kiss on his lips.

* * *

><p>Sakurako smiled as brightly as a Spring morning as she walked hand in hand with Hakase, strolling through the deserted campus at sunset. She was feeling really good... lucky, even... again. As for the other girl, while she still had her doubts, she also tried to tell herself that it was for the best.<p>

Chisame would understand. She would even prefer it that way. Sakurako was right, it made no sense to pursue a relationship that could not be fully reciprocated was just an overly-romantic, lousy idea.

After all, she didn't _do_ romantic!

And yet...

"Satomi-chan..."

"Yes?"

"I've been thinking... If we're really going to be serious about this... Maybe we should try learning more about each other's interests a bit more. I mean, liking the taste of each other's lips is great, but we can't build a relationship based only on that..."

"I suppose you are right. Actually, I'd like to try karaoke again. I think I'd feel more at ease with it now," Hakase mused vaguely.

Sakurako's eyes shone. "Oh, yes! That'd be great! And I can start getting into that astrophysics thing, too!"

"Actually, my interests lean more towards aerodynamics and robotics," Satomi confessed.

"Isn't that the same thing?"

"Hm, no."

"Oops! Dumb me!" Sakurako bumped a fist on her own head, giggling. "Guess I'll have to start from scratch, huh?"

"You don't need to force yourself into a particular field of studies," Hakase pondered. "Although you once told me you like cats, didn't you? Perhaps you could be interested on Zoology..."

"Is that the study of animals? Oh, yes! I like animals of all kinds! Except the icky, slimy ones, that is. Never could stand those..."

Then something made a strange whooshing sound as it passed through the nearby bushes.

"What was that?" Shiina stopped abruptly.

"What what?" Hakase, always the clueless one, blinked several times.

Sakurako hugged her right arm, focusing her now dubious eyes on the concealing plants. "I think I saw something moving there... Something big and—"

Then it jumped out, tackling her and violently pushing her down and away from Hakase. "SAKURAKO!" the other girl cried.

"Aiiiieeee!" the cheerleader screamed as the... amorphous watery thing pushed her against a tree trunk, immobilizing her in a second and starting to burn through her clothes, feeling like scalding water all over her skin. "Satomi-chan!"

The first thought that passed through Hakase's mind was the Biology team really had to be more careful with their experiments.

Then she remembered that no, that creature didn't match any of their test subjects. Instead, it perhaps was one of those 'Orphan' beings Negi-sensei and Chisame had warned her about. Apparently, they randomly attacked students at solitary and distant areas. How could she have forgotten it? Well, she had to admit it herself, she had quite a bad memory. Regardless, maybe she could capture that creature alive and study on it? It seemed mineral, but it acted like a rabid animal. If she could learn its secrets, that'd teach those Biology upperclassmen one thing or two!

A smile slowly made its way up her lips...

"SATOMI-CHAN!"

Wait, there was no time for basking in projects and future glories. Sakurako was in danger! And her bra was showing... disappearing now…Why, she had quite perky breasts... Maybe it'd pay to visit the domrmitory baths more often, to see if...

"SATOMI-CHAN!"

"Hold on, Sakurako! I'll save you!" Heroically, Hakase pushed a hand into her omnipresent open lab coat and looked for... "Wait, where's the ray gun? Oh, yeah, I remember. Shizuna-sensei—"

_One Week Before:_

_"And so, until you get a license for it, we're taking this away, young lady! I'm sorry, but it's necessary at this point!"_

_"But no one even lost any limbs or vital organs!"_

Hakase pouted. "Maaaaa, some people just doesn't understand the needs of advanced in-site research..."

"SAAAATOMI-CHAAAAAAN!"

Poor Shiina was down to her shoes, socks and panties, and while Hakase might have appreciated the sight under other circumstances, the distress– not quite fear yet– in her sorta-quasi-semi-girlfriend's face was not only a complete libido-killer (okay, not a _complete_ libido killer, because it was certainly very hot and sexy and had one of the least rational parts of her crying in joy as some of her night-time dream scenarios, the ones that seemed Haruna and Chamo approved. Were being fulfilled right in front of her, now if they could just get rid of the slime monster so they could re-enact the rest of those dreams…), but also something that finally could spur her into action.

Not even Chachamaru could arrive in time, and all her usual personal arms had been confiscated. Oh, if only she had magical powers and an Artifact like Chisame or Negi-sen—

Oh. Wait.

Hakase drew in a deep breath, pulling out the Pactio card.

_I'm sorry, Negi-sensei... and Chisame-chan_, she solemnly thought. _But historical and literary precedent says that rescuing a maiden from a monster dramatically increases the probability of vigorous, possibility erotic, thanks. And I'm realizing I'm only human. I __**WILL **__get lucky! And no one is luckier than Sakurako-chan!_

Holding it up, she spoke loud and clear, with renewed determination.

_**"Adeat!"**_

* * *

><p><em>The main kitchen of the Yukihiro Manor:<em>

Siesta stared in utter horror at the bottle she had just unwrapped. She read the label again just to be sure, and then gasped aloud, her face pale. Though the intense blush on her cheeks provided an interesting contrast. It had to be a mistake. That wasn't the 'Be Lucky for a Day' potion, it was the 'Make Everyone Fall in Lust with you for a Day' one.

Okay, so looking at it from a certain angle, it was _**also **_a 'Be Lucky for a Day' potion. But definitely not the one she had been hoping for.

Her eyes became swirls as she tried to make sense of it. Was Lady Sevensheep trying to tell her the mistress needed to get laid? No, Lady Sevensheep would never imply such a rude thing, even if Siesta, at times, believed it was completely true. Surely there had been a mix-up at the delivery, or at Urahara-sama's shop. Yes, that had to be it.

All she had to do was hide the bottle, then return it the next day...

Or maybe drink it, then find a way to be alone with Saito-kun all day long...

Then she felt someone standing right behind her. "Siesta-san?"

"KYAH!" the maid shrieked, almost dropping the bottle. She spun around to find herself face to face with Ayaka. "O-O-Ojou-sama! Whu-What can I do for you?"

"I only came to see if dinner was ready," Ayaka said, seemingly still in a bad mood. "Where's everyone else?"

"Uh, Fubuki-san, Roberta and Fabiola said they had detected movements near the Northern side and just went out to check it out. They should be back shortly. Taeko-chan is still at her college classes..." she fidgeted, her fingers absently tapping on the bottle. "I-I'll have your dinner ready right now, Ojou-sama."

"Oh, very well," the millionaire approved. "Siesta-san, what does that bottle hold?"

"Ah? This?" she meeped helplessly.

"Yes, obviously," the rich young girl eyed the label, then frowned when Siesta turned it around. "Siesta-san, why won't you allow me read it?"

"M-M-Me? I... I'd never dream of prohibiting you anything, Ojou-sama!"

"Good. Then let me see that label," she said evenly.

"But... But it's in my homeland's language. You won't understand..."

Ayaka looked at her now sweating face, feeling a hint of distrust for her for the first time ever. "It doesn't matter. I still would like to see it."

Siesta repressed her urges to whimper as she held up the bottle. Ayaka took it into her own hands and read the label. She was a well read and learned person, and she was no stranger to foreign languages. The writing on that bottle seemed to be a heavily bastardized Latin, with overly stylistic font.

"'Love... Paradise...'?" she guessed. "Get... You... True Love... or... Rational?... no, no, 'Reasonable'... Facsimile?"

She shot Siesta an annoyed glare. "What manner of joke is this?"

"I-It's no joke, Ojou-sama! It's just... something an... old friend of mine sent me from home! B-B-But I was expecting something else!"

Ayaka eyed the bottle again, scowling. "Some sort of supposed love potion? Siesta-san, I know you come from a humble rural background, but you shouldn't believe in superstitions like this! Trying to gain Hiraga-san's heart through this underhanded way isn't something a lady should do!"

The maid grew terrified. "TH-THAT WASN'T MY INTENTION!"

Ayaka huffed, handing her the bottle back. "The only thing you could get from this is a stomach ache. Tell whoever sent it to stop sending this junk to my house."

"Y-Yes, of course, Ojou-sama!"

The blonde huffed, then thought of something. "On second thought, give it to me. I will dispose of it properly."

"N-NO! I mean, I promise I'll throw it away!" the maid quickly uncorked it, then began to spill the liquid down the drain. "See? I'm already doing it!"

"S-Stop!" Ayaka gasped, pulling the bottle back before its whole contents were wasted. Then she blushed and rasped, attempting to look dignified again. "What I mean is, uh, you should save it and send it back to that person. It'd be rude to... ahh... just dispose of it like that. Keep it in your room, then mail it back tomorrow, okay?"

"O-Okay..."

"Good!" Ayaka smiled.

Siesta smiled back. "But if you want it to win Negi-sensei's heart, you can keep it! Just let me advice you on its use..."

"D-DON'T SAY SUCH NONSENSE! I'D NEVER DO SUCH A THING!"

"Extremely sorry here, Ojou-sama! Extremely sorry!"

Ayaka calmed back down. "By the way, Siesta-san..."

"Yes...?"

"Come to think about it, you've never told me your exact place of birth, have you? I know Father hired you at Europe, but they don't talk in Latin anywhere anymore, much less such a broken, sorry Latin..."

"Th-That wasn't my language, actually! Just... Just pretentious writing they put on the bottle, no doubt! You know how bootlegs can get..."

"I've never used anything bootleg in my life, so no, I don't."

"Ah, right. Forgive me. Anyway, I come from... France!"

"Funny, Siesta isn't a French name..."

"M-My mother was Spanish!"

"Your mother named you Siesta, then? Did you know 'Siesta' means 'Nap' in Spanish?"

"M-Mo-Mother had a weird sense of humor!"

"And you don't have any hint of a French accent. Or a Spanish one."

"I have... I have studied Japanese hard to erase any hints of my accent!"

Finally, Ayaka seemed to buy that excuse. "I understand. Well, then, do you think you could have my dinner ready before the others return?"

"Naturally, Ojou-sama!"

"Very good. I'll be waiting," she walked out of the kitchen.

Siesta exhaled a sigh of relief.

Ayaka, on the other hand, frowned to herself as she kept on walking. She was going to discover what was being hidden from her, no doubts about that!

* * *

><p>Haruna smiled as she finally pulled her mouth away from Rito's, a thin line of drool linking them until it fell and broke.<p>

"H-H-H-H-H-HARUNA-CHAN!" the boy sputtered, frozen in place.

"That's the way I want to hear my name from now on. Well, except for all the stammering," she poked him in the nose. "Got it?"

"But this is... too sudden!" he squeaked like a mouse in a trap. "Too fast!"

"Ahhh, I like living fast..." she purred, shamelessly leaning against his chest. Strong thick clouds of smoke blew up from Rito's ears.

"W-W-What will your family say?"

"Dad and my brother will say 'Is he strong'? And I'll answer 'No'. Mom will ask, 'Is he from a good, old and noble family?' and I'll answer, 'Hell, no!' Then they'll complain about how I never fulfill their expectations, and that'll be all," she simply said. "It's Ranma who is always worrying about living up to our parents' outdated expectations, no matter how much he denies it…"

Rito sighed. "Everything seems to be so easy for you..."

Haruna held up a finger and lectured, "Life is easy as long as you know how to adapt to each outcome. Rito-kun, if you really feel something for me, why not to give it a shot, at least? Do you want to keep wondering forever 'What if I had tried dating the hot bi girl willing to give me a chance'?"

"W-well... When you put it that way... But..."

Haruna scowled at him. "Rito."

"Y-Yes?"

"Man up!"

"Y-Yes, Ma'am!"

"Good!" She dusted his shoulders off grandly. "You gotta stop worrying about everything so much and take chances at life! Although you're safe betting on me..."

He had to smile at her blustering, yet actually caring, attitude. "S-Sorry if I looked like I was doubting you..."

"Can't you say two sentences without stuttering at the start?"

"Of course I can!"

She smiled again. "Great! See? That's the drive! Just leave everything to me. When I met Nodoka and Yue, they could barely string two straight words to anyone else, and now... well, they still have a way to go, but... Nodoka doesn't faint in front of men anymore, and Yue can actually talk about topics beyond philosophy and foreign juices."She paused. "That's not what it sounds, despite everything I've tried."

"You can help me stop fainting in front of women?" he asked with wonder.

Haruna looked a bit concerned now. "Wait, you do that?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, there are two girls at my class who are... kind of hard to keep up with..."

"Teasers?"

"With... With everyone, actually! Not just with me!"

Her glasses shone. "If you want, I can... _talk_ to them. To see if... I can have them ease up on you, and vice versa..."

He wondered briefly if this relationship thing was actually such a good idea after all, but his doubts, along with most of his mind, melted when she wrapped an arm around his left one, pulling him along. "Well? If we're going to date, you should take me back home like all lovers do!"

"Lovers!" he eeped.

Haruna giggled. He was so cute when he was extremely flustered like that. Kinda reminded her of Negi-sensei and Nodoka, in all fairness.

She began to lead him back to the dorms, thinking this had good potential, after all.

For both of them.

* * *

><p>From the angle she was being held at, Akira couldn't see a lot of what was happening to Ami-san, but her sudden shrill cry of pain told her everything she needed to know. "Let her go, you... you monster! Maniac!" she screamed, pulling her arms with strength she didn't know she had, almost breaking her watery bonds. Almost.<p>

The mermaid looked at the glowing, small silvery thing now between her clawed hands, her face betraying disappointment. "... No. And I was almost sure it was her, too." She tossed the beautiful, pristine light into the air, and it made its way back into a slumped, unconscious Ami's chest much to everyone's shock, passing through it and into her without leaving any marks. "I'll feed you to my Orphans later, but first, the true Senshi must be found."

She slithered over to Shirley's side, the British girl attempting to bite through the semi-liquid substance covering her mouth, despite the tears in her eyes telling of her panic. "Perhaps you? Your heart is foolishly noble, even if your wits are scarce. I'd say that's the sign of a true hero. Let us see."

"Don't do it!" Akira tried to command, but it came out as a desperate begging, almost a loud whimper.

If the person she once knew as Ichinose Tamao heard her, she gave no sign of it. She only pressed her hand forcefully over Fenette's chest, squeezing it tightly, beginning to literally rip out the inner core of her self...

And then, a beam of light pierced through the hand, making her yowl and yank it away from her victim. Shirley moaned with a long pained tone and her head drooped down, closing her eyes and surrendering to unconsciousness.

Akira looked up at the direction the beam had just come from, and gasped.

The stories were true. The tabloids were right after all.

It had to be her. Sailor V.

* * *

><p>"Yuuki Saibai? Your father is THE Yuuki Saibai?!" Haruna squealed excitedly as they finally came to a stop in front of her dorm. "The author of 'Magical Kyouko'?!"<p>

"Well, yeah..." Rito blushed again, rubbing the back of his neck. They had started talking about their parents on their way there, and while Rito had never thought his parents were normal at all, what little he had heard about Haruna's told him he had absolutely nothing to worry about in that regard. "He's no Akamatsu Ken, but I guess he has his fanbase..."

"You kidding?! I'm a diehard fan! His art style is so bold and dynamic! His characters are so sexy, jumping right off the page!" Haruna gushed. "And he only takes weekly breaks like once a month!"

"Yeah, it happens everywhere nowadays, doesn't it? Shonen Weekly Blast Magazine is kinda starting to think of reconsidering its name..." he admitted.

"It is? Oooooh! Inside scoop!" The girl's eyes sparkled. "And your mom! Your mom is THE Yuuki Ringo, the fashion designer! Man, you must be swimming in dough! My Dad will flip out!"

"Ehhhh! Actually, Dad doesn't make that much money, and Mom... well... she isn't big on spending, you know," he said, rather uneasily. "So we never had exactly a millionaire's lifestyle."

"What a coincidence! My Dad is a huge miser too!" She slapped his shoulders in a way more fitting an old pal than a new girlfriend. "We actually have far more in common than I thought! I feel more and more confident about this now!"

He only wished he could share her optimism. But looking at that huge smile, it was impossible to argue...

Then the dorm's front door flew open, and out peeked a dark- skinned blonde girl with eyes like emeralds. "Haruna? Oh, you came right on time-aru! I was about to go to Chao's for dinner!"

Then she noticed the now stiff and gulping boy's presence, and looked back and forth between him and Haruna. "Is he bothering you, or are you bothering him?" she asked, cracking her fists just in case. _Either _case. Rito let out a girlish yelp.

"Ah, Ku-chan!" Saotome laughed. "You're wrong on both counts! Let me introduce you to Yuuki Rito-kun!" she proudly announced, "My **first** boyfriend!"

Ku stared stupidly. "Your 'first' one?"

"You know I follow the teachings of Yamada-sensei!" Haruna reminded her.

Rito tried to remember where he had heard that name. "... Wait. Wasn't that the girl who wrote a book on how she got one hundred... you know..."

Again, Haruna laughed it off. "Yeah, I'll lend you the book later! Rito-kun, this is my roommate, Ku Fei!"

The blonde girl hopped easily, landing right in front of Rito with all the grace of an acrobat, startling him. She gave him a catlike smile. "Nihao! I'm glad Haruna finally got what she needed! Maybe she'll now finally stop feeling me up in sleep!"

"Ehhhhh..." Rito babbled.

The bespectacled girl feigned innocence. "I don't remember ever doing such a thing..."

"Maybe because I hit your head after it," Ku said. She smiled again at Rito, and shook his hand with maybe a wee bit too much of a huge crapton of strength. "I hope both of you get to be very happy! If you need help, tell me. You keep Haruna out of my boobs in return, okay?"

"AIE!" Rito could only squeal as his hand made loud crunching sounds from the inside.

"Ku-chan, you're squeezing him too hard..." Haruna told her.

The foreign girl blinked before letting his now flaccid hand go. "Oops. Sorry. Sometimes I forget controlling that." She whispered to Haruna, _"Won't your Dad not like him? You know he not approve of weaklings..."_

_"I'll handle Daddy..."_ Haruna whispered back, before smirking once more at Yuuki. "Ne, ne, Rito-kun, what if we eat at Chao's together?"

"Huh?" he briefly stopped trying to massage his hand's bones back into shape. "Well, my sister must be preparing dinner, but I suppose I can call her and tell her I'll eat outside tonight..."

A few minutes later at the small Yuuki household, Mikan tightened her hands around the phone, a small twitching running all over her body.

Nao lazily looked up from her Nintendo 3DS and her _Negima!: Chou Mahora Taisen Kattoiin, Keiyaku Shikkou Dechai masuu _game. "Why so gloomy? Got a call from Rito?"

"He... is with a girl..."

"Ah. Has she landed him in the hospital yet?"

"They... are on a date..."

Nao for once lost her careless attitude, replaced by an expression of pure disbelief. "No way! Look out the window! The skies must be red! Damn, that stupid Yukariko nun was right! The end of times are here! Crap, I'm going to die a virgin…"

Mikan clenched her small white teeth. "The woman is... Saotome Haruna..."

Nao was silenced for a moment followed by a loud whistling. "Whooooo, they weren't joking about her! She'd REALLY go out with **anyone**!"

Mikan made a sound very unfitting a girl of her tender age. "Shouldn't you be dating one of your creepy old men right now?"

* * *

><p>Sakurako blinked several times in rapid succession fashion, then kept her eyes perfectly and fully open, as much as she could. The blob monster pinning her against the tree was half-blocking her line of sight, so, with a grunt of annoyance, she pushed its head down to get a better view.<p>

Ah, and what a view! Satomi-chan was spinning in midair with a grace she had never possessed before, her clothes vanishing right off her skin, leaving her in the buff for only a glorious picosecond before rearranging themselves in a not too glamorous but oddly sexy ensemble of tight shorts, chest hugging black top, long white coat, and, well, a quartet of metal arms attached to a backpack of sorts.

"Satomi-chaaaaaan!" the cheerleader squeed. Is 'squeed' any sort of proper verbal form? Is 'Squee' even acceptable as a verb? Eh, who cares. I've just given you free nudity, I can ignore the grammar rules of common men!

Regardless, Hakase stood proudly, aiming a finger and a metal arm at the monster. "Hideous, biologically incorrect and scientifically impossible creature! Unhand the object of my affections immediately, then surrender yourself to the **Power of Science**!"

"Satomi-chan, you're a real Mahou Shoujo!" Sakurako looked extremely radiant for someone naked under the grip of a viscous monstrosity.

The genius pushed her glasses up. "I prefer the term 'Practical Researcher of Unknown Power Sources', but Mahou Shoujo will suffice as well."

The 'Orphan' made a confused sound, twisting its amorphous head aside. It seemed to be looking at Hakase now, although it was hard to say for sure, with it lacking eyes and such. Rather quickly, in any case, it dropped Sakurako, sludging towards this strange new source of magical power. With a confident smirk, the black haired girl assumed a clumsy defensive position.

"Ouchie..." Sakurako rubbed her bare butt, still aching over the rough dropping, then sprang up to her feet, covering her privates with her hands. "Satomi-chan, look out!"

"Trust me, Sakurako-chan! I've seen Ku and Chao sparring! More than twice, even! And I watched a martial arts movie with Chisame and Negi-sensei the other day, too!"

Sakurako pouted. "You never watch movies with me..."

"Why don't you come with us tomorrow night? Haruna told me she'd give me a movie all four of us should watch together. Something called 'My First Sax Teacher', or something like that..."

Right then, however, the monster finally attacked, lunging forward. Hakase rushed at it as well, swinging a Megaton Punch at it, splattering it all over the place, only to grimace a moment later when she saw it quickly reforming itself, apparently none the worse for wear. "Oh. Well. I suppose I should have expected this..."

The 'Orphan' jumped at her again, but Hakase jumped aside in the nick of time. Quickly, her genius intellect began to analyze options to defeat an enemy who couldn't be beaten through mere brute force.

_Scream like a schoolgirl and run._

Well, she WAS a schoolgirl, but while possibly a reasonable way to reach safety, it wouldn't put her any closer to dispatch and capture the being. Plus, she'd 'lose face' before Sakurako.

_Laser gun to the—_

No, wait. That intellectually challenged Shizuna-sensei...

_Installing a complex trap taking advantage of its aquous nature to channel a high-voltage electric charge through it, rendering it inert but hopefully still useful for study._

That was a great idea, certainly worthy of her, but she doubted Monster-san would be willing to wait still for its implementation.

Maybe she needed to combine aspects of the former plans into a single, viable new approach.

_Grab Sakurako, scream like a schoolgirl, run, then call on someone who could channel a high-voltage electric charge through it, rendering it inert but hopefully still useful for study._

Eureka! But she didn't know anyone who could channel such a high-voltage charge. She knew she should have convinced Chao to let her install that function in Chachamaru...

Oh, no, wait, scratch that. Chisame and her scepter!

After barely dodging more of the monster's strikes, Satomi dashed for Sakurako and picked her up in her huge metallic arms. Shiina blushed as she was pressed against Hakase's nearly flat chest. "Satomi-chan...!"

"Scream like a schoolgirl, Sakurako-chan!" Hakase asked.

"Ehhh? Why...? I feel so safe with you here..."

"Just do it! It's all part of the plan!"

"Well, if you insist... EEEEEEK!" she tossed her arms up.

"EEEEEK!" the other girl screamed as well, beginning a mad run out of the place, with the 'Orphan' hot on their trail.

"You know, this is kinda fun!" Sakurako wheezed. "Exciting!"

"Isn't it?" Hakase had to agree. "Maybe I could take a few of the Biology Research Club's experiments on loan for our next date..."

* * *

><p>"Well then!" Suzumiya Haruhi said with a wide smile as she left Madoka at her dorm's doorstep. "Starting the first day of the next term, you'll be the SOS Brigade's newest intern! Spreading the word in the meanwhile is strongly suggested! You may even call it the Gospel if you want," she said, nonstop, pulling a pamphlet out and pushing it into Kugimiya's hands, "We don't believe in false modesty..."<p>

"Um, well, I'm honored, but—"Madoka began.

Haruhi's smirk was very foxlike now. "I'm sure Kyon will love having you there."

"Ah, ha ha," she stifled. "No way..."

"He often talks about you, you know."

"R-Really? I mean, really?"

"Yeah!" Actually, it had been only twice or thrice, but by Kyon's standards, that was a freaking lot of often with a cherry on top. She nudged Madoka's ribs with an elbow, cagily. "C'mon, girl, learn to recognize chances when life hands them to you..."

"But... But I thought... Kyon-sempai... ah..."

"That he liked Mikuru-chan?"

"Ahhhhh..."

"Because Mikuru-chan is mine."

Madoka's eyes became blank squares, her mouth half hanging. "Ah. Ah, I see..."

"Ah ha ha ha!" Haruhi-sempai laughed again. "Well, it's been a blast, but I gotta go now, Kugimin! We're making... preparations. For a super duper special secret club project we'll tell you about once you have passed your initiation." This was said without any sinister undertones whatsoever, and also, this is a big fat lie. "Bye!" She waved before running away without any care in the freaking world.

Madoka stared helplessly before shaking her head and walking in. What had she just walked into, or rather, been pushed into?

On the other hand, she could spend more time with Kyon-sempai now. And Haruhi-sempai apparently didn't have any interest in him after all! Looked like she even supported them. Maybe she wasn't such a bad person after all. Kazumi's reports used to be greatly exaggerated, in any case.

And it wasn't like her cheering club friends were spending that much time with her lately...

"Hey!" Misa said from the couch she lay on, flipping through a fashion magazine. Yuuki Ringo's new designs were just fascinating. "You're late! Where had you been?"

"Window shopping," Madoka lied. She'd tell her later.

"Oh, you should have called me. I've still got some allowance money left. There's Teriyaki at the kitchen, by the way."

"Thank you. Where's Sakurako?"

"I think she's on a date with the Prof, or something. I wanted to go cheer her on, but she told me it was really important it be just the two of them..." Misa giggled. "Oh, Sakurako-chan, you're _thiiiiiis _close to sealing the deal!"

"Good for her, yeah," Madoka walked into the kitchen, wondering why, even so, she felt like something was horribly wrong.

As Haruhi was reaching the doorstep of her own dorm, she stopped and smiled again. "I can tell you're there, Itsuki-kun. Come out!"

The tall, handsome boy stepped out from behind a nearby streetlamp, casually, not giving any impression he had actually been hiding. Any casual observer would have believed he was only passing by. "My, my, you're far too sharp, Haruhi-chan! So, how did your day go?"

"I got Kugimin, if that's what you mean," she shrugged. "Piece of cake. She may act no-nonsense, but in the end, everyone in that class only needs the slightest push!"

"That's good!" He sounded very pleasant and kind, but then his tone gained the barest hint of remote uneasiness. "Unless it isn't, of course!"

"Trust me! You got me because there's no one better at keep Kyon amused, didn't you? And I can tell he wants this. Kugimin will be a good influence on him."

"And God knows he needs one of those around..." Itsuki Koizumi gently ribbed.

"What can I say? Every act demands for a boring straight man. That's a prime rule of show business, Itsuki-kun! It can't be all thrills all the time. Kyon also can get bored if it's all excitement, all the time. Every rollercoaster needs its ups and downs. Besides, God apparently _doesn't_ know he needs one around, or else I wouldn't need to arrange one for him."

He nodded. "Yes, that's our director, all right. Always thinking of everything! _Unless you only did so because he unconsciously willed it so, and that we actually have no free will, and are merely all manifestations of his unconscious urges…"__  
><em>  
>She rolled her eyes. "Oh, can the philosophy. I don't believe he's actually god, or else he wouldn't buy that bullshit story we fed him about <em>me <em>being god. Probably just an amnesiac genie scientist from a highly advance genie civilization or perhaps a dimensionally displaced being from the 5thdimension and his real name is 'Kynn'. I tell you, if we ever get him to say 'Nnyk', he'll be sent back there… so DON'T! Life would be boring otherwise." She turned around back for the door. "By the way, Itsuki-kun..."

"Yes?"

She reached up with a hand, softly lowering a bit of the shoulder of her shirt down, baring a fair-skinned area of skin, and teasing him with a tantalizing glimpse of white bra. "I'm rather bored today, myself. Won't you walk in and entertain me a few hours, too?" she teased, her voice low.

Koizumi blinked, his almost always unfazable eyes briefly betraying a diminutive sparkle of conflicting feelings.

Everyone would always comment how he always seemed to be all over Kyon, yet he invariably was far too fast to please every last one of Haruhi's whims.

This time, it wouldn't be different.

Regaining his smile, he walked in after her, closing the door behind him.

* * *

><p>"Satomi-chan..." Sakurako said as she was carried in her semi-girlfriend's extra arms, Hakase's lab coat now wrapped around her nude body to preserve her modesty.<p>

"Yes, Sakurako?" Hakase asked, never slowing in her running. Apparently they had left the 'Orphan' quite behind, but from Negi-sensei's stories, she had learned those beasts could strike from the most unexpected places and at the most unexpected times.

"You know, for someone with bad P.E. grades carrying a giant metal backpack and me, you are running fast as heck...!"

"Oh, that," the other girl said. "The Pactio boosts my physical stats to nearly superhuman levels. I'm still testing their limits, but it's difficult to get a precise gauge on them..."

"What's a Pactio?" Sakurako asked.

"Well, you'll see..." she answered while ducking behind a statue with her, pulling the card back out."This is the proof of my Pactio, a Provisional Alliance with Negi-sensei..."

"Negi-sensei!" the cheerleader marveled.

"Um... Yes. He..." Hakase sighed and decided there was no point in keeping it hidden from her anymore. And she just couldn't lie to that oh so cute face, and those extremely shiny large eyes... not to mention the large swathes of naked flesh showing from under the lab coat. _"Negi-sensei is a user of unknown powers I haven't been able to categorize yet, okay?" _she whispered.

"... A what?"

"... A mage," Satomi admitted defeat.

"A mage!" Sakurako cooed aloud. "No way, no way, no way! Oh, that's so—!"

"Shhhh, please!" Hakase gestured for her to calm down, then shuddered at the new and alien feeling of being the voice of reason. Was this how Chisame felt all the time? No one she was always stressed!"The creature might hear you. And besides, Sensei's condition is supposed to be a secret. If someone learns about it, he'll be transformed into a lowly, probably perverted and undergarment stealing, Welsh ermine."

"Oh, no. That'd be bad."

"Most definitely, yes," Hakase said, fully realizing that supreme intelligence was not one of the reasons why she liked Shiina.

"But luckily, only you, and now me, know it, right?"

Hakase opened her mouth to express a 'Well, no, but...' followed by an eloquent, convincing rebuttal. But she ended up just hanging her head down and saying, "Me, Chisame, Kasuga-san, Asuna-san and Misa-san all know."

A drop of sweat hovered over Sakurako's head. "Maybe it's me, but that doesn't exactly sound like a secret anymore. Wait. Misa-chan? Both you and Misa-chan were keeping this from me? Satomi-chan, how could you?"

"I'm sorry! I had promised to keep it hidden from everyone, and so did Misa-san! We tried to convince the others to let you in too, but... we hadn't reached a consensus yet..."

Sakurako pouted, but like always, her bad mood was quick to subside. "Okay. A good friend must know how to keep secrets and promises, so I'll forgive you." She examined the card carefully. "Ahhh, it's so cute...! How did you get it?"

"I told you already, through my Pactio."

"And how was that 'Pactio' done?"

"Negi-sensei and I established direct physical contact through our mouths."

"You kissed?!"

"Keep your voice down, I beg you! We did it before I even knew you had feelings for me..."

"... You 'did it'?"

Hakase, for once, suspected of some sort of double meaning behind the appalled question. "I mean, we did kiss," she explained.

"Oh!" Sakurako sighed with relief. "Then, all the other girls..."

"Yes, they kissed him as well."

Shiina scowled. "Then I'm not sure why Misa-chan always complains she hasn't gone far enough with him... Wait, it's Misa-chan. Silly me. Obviously she wants to go all the way..."

"Ah?"

"Never , what will we do about this monster?"

Hakase breathed in and pressed the card against her own forehead. "I'll call Chisame. She'll know what to do."

"Are you going to call her with... that?"

"Uh-huh."

"Shouldn't you buy yourselves cellphones instead? Or, knowing you, some kind of James Bond communicator/taser/Viagra dispenser?"

"What can I say? Sensei actually favors this type of communication. He's far too much of a traditionalist..."

* * *

><p>The sun had already set by the time Yuuki Rito made it to his dorm, with a satisfied, dreamy smile on his face.<p>

"Good evening!" Nao waved carelessly from where she sat, now watching _Jackie Chan and The Son of El Santo vs. the Mutant Biker Mice from Martian Hell _on TV and eating nachos. "So, how did that date go?"

For a few moments, Rito said nothing, and Nao thought he had been rejected yet again. But then he made a slow, wide and goofy, definitely shit-eating, grin. "She agreed!"

"Oh, so you already had sex?" Nao asked casually.

Rito fell on his face, then sprang up completely crimson, sprouting stupid looking sharp teeth, like a visual gag in a comic. "O-O-OF COURSE NOT! She only agreed to be m-my girlfriend!"

"Oh, poo!" his cousin made a disappointed pout. "When are those nephews coming? I'm growing old waiting!" she mocked.

"Welcome back, Rito," Mikan sighed, stepping out of the kitchen. "I know you already ate, but I left some riceballs in case you're still hungry..."

"Ah, thanks, Mikan-chan, but I'm full," he smiled at his sister, rubbing his stomach with a hand. Then he held up a bag of takeout. "As a matter of fact, I brought you some food that we couldn't eat. What do you say if we have it together tomorrow?"

Nao was already digging into the bag, pulling a nikkuman and munching on it. "Oh, still warm! I'm still hungry, you know. Man, this is good stuff..."

"Yeah..." Mikan nodded, her heart not really into it. "Satsuki-sempai is an excellent cook. The best one in the Academy..."

She sadly looked down at her hands, still holding a large spoon, and her Piyo-Piyo apron.

Rito gave her a concerned look. "Mikan-chan? You feeling okay?"

"Yeah. Why shouldn't I?" The girl turned around and began walking away. "I'll be in my room. If you need something, just knock."

Rito stood there staring on complete helplessness. "Nao..."

"Yeah?" she asked between mouthfuls.

"Did I... Did I do something wrong?"

"Nah," she waved a hand. "She's just going through the growing pains."

"What do you mean?"

She sighed, exasperated at the way men were such clueless idiots. "Look, just forget it and pass me one of those riceballs, will you?"

He did. "She's going through menstrual cramps already?"

Nao fell off the couch. So close and yet still so wrong…

* * *

><p><em>Yukihiro Manor:<em>

Ayaka reassured herself in her mind. Sneaking into Siesta-san's bedroom right after sending her out to buy groceries and asking the other maids to go clean the pool was not, in any way, shape or form, an undue action unfitting her position.

She was the mistress of the house, wasn't she? Yes, she was, no doubts about it. And as such, and as the sole heiress of the Yukihiro Zaibatsu, it was her duty to verify everything was okay concerning her employees.

She was sure Siesta-san was hiding something from her. Something highly important and shameful. At her own residence. Today's earlier incident with the bottle had confirmed it. Ayaka just had to know; not only was it her prerogative, but her duty as well!

Siesta-san's origins, now that she thought about it, were a mystery to everyone but Ayaka's father and Siesta herself. Why was that? What did they have to hide? All sorts of hideous theories buzzed through Ayaka's mind. Perhaps she had been Father's lover? Or a secret daughter? No, Father would never do such a thing.

Would he?

She **had **to know!

She had extra keys for all rooms in the Manor, naturally. It posed no problem for her to enter Siesta-san's humble room, locking the door behind herself. The bottle of the so-called 'love potion' rested on the nightstand, but Ayaka paid it no attention. Instead, her eyes fell on the cabinet set under it. It was locked. Far too heavily for something holding the belongings of a simple maid. And she had no keys for it.

She tried to think where would a simple person like Siesta-san keep those keys. She doubted she carried them with herself. It had to be an unimaginative, far too obvious place...

Ayaka looked under the lamp. No results. Under the carpets. Nothing there either. Behind the portrait of Hiragata Saito, Siesta-san's crush (excellent brushwork. Ayaka would need to get the name of the artist). Again, she was left empty handed.

Finally, she looked under the pillow.

Bingo.

Ayaka still doubted, now she had the keys in her hands. What she was about to do still struck her as dishonorable and underhanded. But she was sure Siesta-san wouldn't tell her if she just asked her about it. There was no going back.

Inhaling deeply, the heiress mentally begged for her maid's forgiveness, then opened the locks one after another.

What she saw in there made her gasp. There was a large picture of a tall, extremely handsome young man with a charming, roguish smile. It seemed to be only a copy, but it still bore a few clearly visible words written at the bottom.

**Nagi Springfield, while visiting Ariadne Academy. Year—**

Almost fifteen years ago. Siesta-san had to be a child when that picture was taken.

**Nagi.**

**Springfield.**

Come to think of it, he looked an awful lot like an older Negi-sensei would. What the hell, in Asuna's simian terminology, was happening here?

There were a few other things, as well. Half a dozen of books in the same awful Latin, which seemed to be trashy romance novels, going by the print quality and the style of the pictures on the cover, even if the heroes and heroines sometimes had horns, weird ears or were some kind of furry. And letters. A veritable stash of letters. Many of them branded with official looking seals. A few unopened envelopes, even.

With trembling fingers, Ayaka reached for one of the letters and unfolded it. She yelped when, a second later, a hologram-like image of a young shapely girl with very dark brown skin, long blond hair and strange animal-looking ears, flashed up from the paper, talking to her very clearly.

"Siesta!" it said. "I hope you're doing well there, Siesta! I'd hate to learn you've been disappointing the trust all of us have put in you!"

Ayaka barely held down her urge to yell in confused panic.

* * *

><p>Negi was brushing his teeth and Chisame had finally finished her page update when she felt the strange sensation of a Pactio card call. Groaning, she picked up her card and held it against her forehead. "Yeah? Is that you, Misora?"<p>

_Chisame! _Hakase's voice ran in her head. _I'm afraid we're in dire need for your assistance!_

"We?" Hasegawa asked. "Oh, crap. Tell me, who are you with, and what happened?"

Negi walked quickly to her side. "Chisame-san? Something wrong?"

"It's Hakase," Chisame murmured. "Looks like she got herself into a jam."

_Jam? No, it looks more like a creature composed of semi-solidified water. Still transparent and with unmistakable H2O properties. Certainly not a food product of any sorts..._

Negi pulled out his copy of Satomi's card to join the telepathic conversation. "Satomi-san, are you okay?"

_Yes, I am unhurt. Sakurako-chan is with me. I'm afraid she has learned about my condition as a magic user..._

Chisame groaned, briefly biting her tongue. "I knew it! It was just a freakin' matter of time!"

Chamo approached with curiosity. "Is Sato-chi alright?"

Negi nodded, then asked, "Satomi-san, where are you?"

_Mid-way between the dorms and the indoor pools. Hiding right behind the Himeno Fuji statue_.

Chisame hummed. "Since when are you so knowledgeable about campus geography? You barely knew anything beyond this dorm, the main building, and your labs."

_I had to memorize the whole campus to create the 3D map we use in the laboratory now. Could you come for us quickly, please? This creature is completely immune to the sort of physical attacks I can dispense with my Artifact..._

"If she's in any danger, you can bring her here with the Card, Bro!" Chamo jumped up. "You can summon your Pactio partners right to your side at any moment as long as they aren't in a distance of more than—"

The boy looked at him. "Can I bring her along with someone else? Because right now, she's with Shiina-san..."

"Good Luck-chan? Hmmmm, no, it can't be done..." the ermine shook his head. "Teleportation only can function with your partner, and no one else."

"Then we'll have to go for them, right?" Chisame sighed. "Hang on there, Hakase! We'll be there immediately!"

_Thank you, Chisame, Sensei! _Hakase's voice sounded truly moved. _I knew I could count on you!_

At the place of the events itself, Sakurako couldn't help noticing Satomi's eyes had gone rather larger, and shining with sparkle and star effects in them. She began to think maybe she would have a harder time competing with them than she had believed at first...

She stood at the ledge of one of the large windows, a white mask on the upper half of her face. She was nearly identical to the images seen in the merchandise; blonde and leggy, with very long golden hair, and a red ribbon on her head. Akira had never been really interested in superheroes or vigilantes, but she would have had to admit seeing one in the flesh for the first time ever was leaving a strong impression on her.

"Deceptive evil creature from the depths of depravity!" she spoke, in a loud, firm tone. "Hiding behind a false face, tricking those who would look up to you! Hellish minion of the dark powers, because of those unforgivable sins, Sailor V will punish you, in the name of—!"

The mermaid, after some initial shock, got understandably tired of waiting for the speech's conclusion. "GET HER!" she shouted, pointing up at the newcomer.

"Look out!" Nyamo-sensei shouted, rather unnecessarily, as the water 'Orphans' sprang up from the pool aiming for the mini-skirted agent of love and justice. She jumped easily over them, doing a pirouette in mid-air and landing feet first on Ichinose's face, sending her flying into the pool.

"HAH!" the heroine said, landing on her feet at the pool's edge. "Numbers mean nothing when they aren't backed by quality, fish face! These—"she twirled around, swinging a kick that split one of the monsters by half, "— brainless things—" she tossed something small and compact, which Akira guessed was some sort of... well, small compact mirror, by the looks of it... at another monster, reducing it to dust, "—are the kind of enemies I was beating by the dozen when I started this!" The compact returned to her hand like a boomerang, and she quickly used it to destroy another one of those beings.

Nyamo-sensei looked on with incredulity. "This is getting far too weird... Hey, girl!" she trashed around. "Can you free us, please?-!"

"I'm kinda busy here, you know!" the sailor suited soldier gritted her teeth while pulverizing the monster she had kicked first, by aiming a finger at it in a finger gun-like fashion, then shooting a single stream of burning light through it. "VENUS CRESCENT BEAM!"

As the monsters fell one by one, however, the pool's waters bubbled and boiled, and then the monstrous mermaid emerged from it, quickly reaching with her arms for Sailor V, grabbing her by surprise and dragging her down into the water with herself, before she could do anything but voice a yelp.

"SAILOR V-SAN!" Akira shouted, right before noticing Aino-san's white cat was nibbling at the watery goo covering her right ankle. The watery monster that goo was a part of reacted and pushed the cat away, but the animal already had managed to free Akira's leg, somehow. The swimmer kicked back at it, but only managed to get her foot stuck back into it. "It's useless! Try as I might, I just can't—"

"Yell 'Mercury Power, Make Up!'" a male voice told her.

She blinked. "What?"

"Who said that?" Nyamo looked all around.

"I'll bet it's one of those perverts who hide around to watch us changing and swimming..." Akira attempted to locate the source of the voice. "Those boys are the worst... and Honsho-san isn't much better…"

The monster holding her made a nodding motion and a gobbling sound of agreement. The fact it was clutching onto a pretty teenager it had just burned the clothes off didn't mean it was a pervert itself; it just was doing its job!

"Down here," the voice murmured dryly.

"Down where?" Akira asked.

"Down here, where the cat is!" the cat yelled at her.

The teacher and Akira stared blankly at the cat.

"The cat is talking," Ookuchi finally said, unable to think of something better.

"No, no it isn't," Nyamo shook her head stubbornly. "I'm just dreaming you just said that about a talking cat I'm dreaming about too. I've had this kind of dreams before; it's the typical one where you show up for classes naked, and then the viscous aliens with tentacles attack you, and—"

Akira made a disgusted face, even though she normally wasn't the type to do so. So, Yukari-sensei was right for once, after all. Nyamo-sensei was** really**in dire need of a man.

"Just say 'Mercury Power, Make Up!' already!" the cat, dream or not, insisted, hitting on his own head with his small paws.

Sailor V re-emerged, coughing water up as she struggled in the mermaid's grasp. "For the love of all that's holy, just listen to him! Or my ghost will haunt you forever! Blurgh!"

"Now they talk about ghosts, don't they..." Nyamo muttered. "As if something like a ghost could ever exist..."

* * *

><p><em>Obligatory Random Break to Whatever Sayo is doing at the Moment:<em>

The ghost shrieked and pressed a towel against her bare front. "DON'T LOOK!"

Kiri, who was bathing with her, nodded in approval. "Yes, you're getting the hang of it now... "

"AH! Kiri-sempai! What are you…? AH! I'm feeling all tingly… down there…"

* * *

><p>Siesta breathed deeply as she walked into her darkened room, beginning by loosening the tight neck of her maid outfit. Maybe she had spent far too long outside, as Fubuki-san had remarked, but it had been worth it since it had meant spending some more time with Saito-kun.<p>

She reached over for the light switch, turned it on, and then her heart almost stopped.

Yukihiro Ayaka was sitting on the edge of her bed, sporting an unamused expression, and holding a large stack of books, envelopes and letters on her lap.

"O-O-Ojou-sama!" the servant stammered, considering herself dead. "What— Why are you—"

Ayaka only scowled, holding up the picture of Nagi-sama. "Who is this man, Siesta-san, and what is his relation to Negi-sensei? Is he his father? An uncle? An older brother?"

"Ojou-sama, please! I have no idea what you're—!"

"DON'T LIE TO ME, SIESTA!" the heiress raised her voice angrily. The maid squeaked and shrunk down like a frightened mouse, tears already coming to the corners of her eyes, and Ayaka lowered her voice again, trying to control herself. "Please, don't take me for an idiot just because I'm blond. This was among your belongings. You obviously know who this man is, or was. And you have met Negi-sensei as well. There's no way you couldn't have at least suspected a connection."

Siesta, defeated from the start, slumped her head down. "That man, Nagi Springfield-sama, was the father of Negi-sensei."

"Was?"

"No one has seen him in more than a decade," she answered. "That photo is from the last time he visited Ariadne Academy, the place my mother used to work at, and where I came to work at as well after her passing. I was only a child back then, and that was the only time I ever met him, from afar. Someone took the picture and handed it over to my mother as a memento. As for the date, we normally don't use your system of years, but since my family originally came from—"

Then she covered her mouth with her hands, realizing she had just said too much.

Ayaka frowned. "What is that? How come you use a different system of years?"

"N-Nothing. Forget it, I beg—"

"Does it have something to do with this?" she held one of the letters up. "Several girls have sent you missives like this. Missives with speaking messages, with lifelike images that literally spring from the page. Why? What kind of bizarre secrets have you been keeping from me?"

"I-I can't tell you!" Siesta panicked, sticking her back against a wall, too paralyzed to turn around and run like she wanted to. "They'll punish me, and my family too!"

"Who? The girls who sent these letters?" Ayaka pressured her. "I can help you, but not if you aren't honest with me, Siesta!"

"NO! N-Not them, I mean... They'd never do such a thing... and they don't have the authority to do it. They're my friends... Students at the Academy, who always treated me well. B-But my s-s-superiors..."

"What about your superiors?" Ayaka asked again. Now they were getting somewhere.

"I can't tell you about them, sorry. I might even endanger you as well. Yukihiro-sama himself prohibited it."

"Father? What does Father know about—"

"Your father is a highly knowledgeable man," Siesta dared to interrupt her. "Someone with so much power and so many connections just has to be. But I beg you, never tell him I told you this. The punishment for mages who betray the oath of secrecy is being turned into ermines, but civilians who do so... more so lowly servants like me... might even face a death penalty!"

She was all but crying in full force now, puzzling Ayaka even more. "Mages...?"

Siesta knew she had just dug her own grave, and the only thing left to do was to keep digging deeper. "I-I... I come from Mundus Magicus, a world apart from your own. A world on the edge of collapse, where several races other than humans coexist, many of them well versed in the arts of magic. Most Mundus Magicus inhabitants can't live at this world without undergoing a process of adaptation first, but since several of my ancestors hail from Earth, I was a prime candidate for the process."

"Why were you sent here?" the blonde questioned. "And why did my father consent to it?"

She was finding it all hard to believe, even after reading through the documents (or watching them as the case may be), but even if this was part of an elaborate hoax, she wanted to know all the details.

"I told you... my world is about to break down," she sobbed. "My superiors are attempting to fix the damage, but even so, they decided to send several of us... here, as part of a selected Immigration Program. If we're able to adapt, they might send more of us. If the only way we can survive is by moving here..."

"You would be moving here?!" Ayaka gasped. "How many of you are there at that world?!"

"Around five hundred million, according to the last estimates..."

"FIVE HUNDRED MILLION!" the heiress paled.

"... Counting humans only. That's not counting the beast-men, elves, dwarves, demons, trolls, goblins, talking animals, Twilight Fans, UQ Holder readers, Narutards—"

"SIESTA!" Ayaka stood up violently, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. "There's no possible way you could bring that many people here! Much less those with animal ears and tails! Mankind would sink into war and confusion! Why, if only 198 confirmed mutants around the world have raised so much unrest and violent behavior—"

"I know!" Siesta cried. "That's why, night after night, I pray for another solution! But I still have to do this! My family... all my friends... are counting on me! Try to look at it from my perspective, Ayaka Ojou-sama! I'm so scared! I have no option except doing this!"

Ayaka sat back down, rubbing her temples. "This is too much for me. I think I feel like fainting..."

"I could bring you a glass of water, if you—!"

"NO! Dammit, what kind of insane fantasies..."

"It isn't a fantasy, Ojou-sama," Siesta replied with newfound hints of firmness. "I have not lied to you."

"Yes, just like you didn't lie to me, before?!"

The maid looked down in shame. "Like I told you, I had to..."

Ayaka sighed. "Siesta."

"Yes?"

"This man, Nagi Springfield, was a 'mage', wasn't he?"

"Yes."

She looked at the staff the man was holding in the picture. It was identical to the one Sensei always carried around. "Is Negi-sensei a mage as well?"

"I couldn't say for sure. Details on the Thousand Master's exploits after his return to Earth are scarce. The only thing I know for sure is that boy is his son."

Ayaka gave her another look. "Thousand Master?"

"They gave that name to Nagi Springfield, since they said he had mastered a thousand spells of all kinds," Siesta reported. "He was the greatest mage of his time, beyond even common mages like the Bandit Spooker, the Humanoid Typhoon and the Boy-Who-No-One-Wished-Had-Lived. Even to this day, the students at Ariadne idolize him."

"Such an illustrious father..." Ayaka mused quietly, eyeing the picture carefully. "You mentioned something about mages being turned into ermines if they are exposed?"

"Yes!" Siesta nodded. "Sometimes, if the offense is particularly serious, they are transformed into other kinds of beasts, like chupacabras, calamari, sea monkeys, Twilight fans, horse apples or axolotls."

Ayaka's face became grim. "I see..."

"Y-You wouldn't reveal my secret, would you, Ojou-sama?"

Ayaka breathed in and out. "For starters, I'm still not sure you haven't just lied to me. Your story is far too outrageous. I mean, talking animals...? Please! And besides, your downfall might involve Negi-sensei's as well," Ayaka pondered angrily. "So I'll keep your insane secret for now, okay?"

"Thank you so very much, Ojou-sama...!" the girl sighed in infinite relief.

"I'm sure he'll tell me whenever he's ready..." Ayaka muttered.

"Huh?"

"Nothing! Never mind! Now go back to your room!"

"Errr, Ojou-sama, you are the one who's in my room right now..."

Ayaka blinked. "Oh. Oh, yes. Of course. Well, see you tomorrow then, Siesta-san." Visibly shaken, she walked out, closing the door behind herself.

As soon as she was alone, Siesta dropped down into her bed and began slamming both fists on her own head. "Stupid! Stupid! STUPID!"

* * *

><p>"They'll be here soon," Hakase sighed as she pocketed the card. "We only have to stay here perfectly quiet, and I'm sure the creature won't find us in the meanwhile."<p>

Sakurako nodded. "Ne, Satomi-chan..."

"Yes...?"

"Do you think I can get one of those Pactios as well?"

Hakase looked at her with huge round eyes.

"I-I mean, not like I'm interested in kissing people other than you, but—! Having powers like yours would be so cool—! Can't I get a Pactio if I kiss you?"

"I don't think so, but you'd have to ask Chamo-san for the details..." Hakase pondered it deeply.

"Negi-kun's pet?"

"Indeed."

"Can he... Can he talk?"

"He talks far too much, as a matter of fact..."

The cheerleader was about to ask something else, but then she tensed up with a concerned face. "Wait. Did you hear that?"

"What?"

"Something like... rustling grass, and then—"

And then, it jumped up over the statue, tackling Sakurako back against a wall. "Sakurako-chan!" Hakase grabbed the creature from behind and forcefully pulled it away from the gasping, scared cheerleader, even as it oozed free from her grasp to clutch at her instead, starting to burn through her shirt. With a grunt, Satomi grabbed it and tugged it off herself, slamming it down on the floor, then ripping up a huge chunk of terrain and slamming the being with it, trying to bury it as deep as she could. "Sakurako-chan, get away from here as fast as you—!"

Interrupting her, the thing filtered itself through the dirt, stubbornly grabbing her again, now burning round holes through her shorts. "Satomi-chan, hold on!" This time, it was Sakurako who grabbed him and pulled her back to relative safety, but the 'Orphan' just made a strangled sound and attacked again.

Swinging a massive fist, then another one, Hakase kept it at bay, but she knew she was achieving nothing but buying time and delaying the inevitable. After each punch, the monstrosity reformed itself just as quickly. Definitely, brute force and mere physical impact wouldn't suffice; they'd need another kind of element...

_"Flans Carcer Venti Vertentis!" _a familiar voice sounded.

Sakurako was stunned at seeing a huge burst of wind, pretty much a miniature tornado, forming itself around the water monster, making it to spin in midair helplessly, holding it apart from Hakase and herself. Then she noticed Satomi was looking in another direction with those same huge starry eyes, and followed her gaze to the point where Negi-kun stood valiantly, holding his staff in hand. Chisame stood at his right, wearing a fancy dress and extending a very pretty scepter with a heart shaped end ahead. They both looked very heroic and epic like that, as if posing for a major entrance. Standing there under the waning light of sunset, Sakurako felt her heart patter just a bit faster. She never had doubted of Negi-kun's appeal, but until then, she hadn't understood the big deal about Chisame. However, seeing her there, with that completely serious and stern expression, standing tall and proud to the rescue... It was so... cool...

"Chisame-san, now!" Negi-kun shouted.

Chisame shook the scepter. As she did so, Sakurako saw the lampposts all along the boulevard turning themselves off, as their electric energy seemed to flow out of them and gather itself around the scepter, charging it with a terrifying amount of power, before Chisame shook it again, sending it all in a concentrated blast towards the monster. "QUEEN'S SCEPTER!"

The monster made a horrible sound as it was shocked and shaken violently, the electricity crackling through it until it made it explode in several directions, the water droplets it had been reduced to evaporating as they flew. And so, it was done.

Sakurako stood open mouthed, not even noticing when Negi made it to her side. "Shiina-san! Are you okay?"

"Ah? Y-Yes!" she nodded, tightening Satomi's lab coat around herself. "Thanks... Thank you, Negi-kun! You... You are...!"

Then she just threw herself into his arms and pressed her lips to his deeply, even sneaking her tongue into his mouth clumsily.

Negi's eyes shot themselves out of their sockets.

Chisame had a similar reaction, her mouth twitching in a wide variety of interesting forms.

Hakase stared wildly amazed. "Sakurako-chan!" _So hot… such a turn on…!_

The cheerleader pulled her mouth apart from a stunned Negi's, blinking in mild disappointment. "Ah...? That was all? Where's my card?"

Chamo arrived then, panting madly, shaking a piece of chalk in a paw. "Dammit, Good Luck-chan! You had to wait for me! Now you'll have to do it again!"

Chisame slammed a foot on him. "You won't do anything like that!-!"

Satomi stared at her in utter disbelief. "... Queen's Scepter? Since when did you give names to your attacks?"

"Give me a break!" Chisame growled, her cosplayer spirit offended. "If I'm going to make a fool of myself like a Magical Girl, I'm at least doing it with all the requirements of the genre!"

* * *

><p>With no other alternatives actually at hand, Akira grunted, pulling an arm free and lifting it up before shouting, "Mercury Power, Make-Up!"<p>

And then it happened, jolting her up and almost blinding her in a flash for a moment. The shreds of her clothes that had not been melted by the monster were pulled off by an invisible force and reduced to fine dust, just as a tight white bodysuit, not too unlike a one piece bathing suit or a gymnast's leotard, formed itself around her body, then followed by a short blue skirt fluttering around her waist. A golden tiara flashed out of thin air, securing itself on her forehead. Right under it, thick goggles encased her eyes, and long white gloves were knit out of nowhere reaching up around her elbows. A big white bow over her chest. Tall, shiny blue boots on her feet.

"It's you!" the mermaid growled, pulling her head out of the water, distracted long enough for Sailor V to elbow her in the jaw, pushing her back and allowing her to pull herself out of the pool. Nyamo-sensei coughed as a thick fog began to surround Akira, blanketing the entire place quickly. She could hear Ichinose coughing as well, right before jumping out of the water in extreme anger, lunging ahead with her clawed hands. "I'll kill you!-! And then eat that Star Seed right out of your carcass!"

"Venus Love-Me Chain!-!" V's voice shouted again, and a long, thin string of golden light shot itself from between the fog, wrapping itself around the mermaid's arm and slamming her against a wall. Sailor V stepped closer, pulling on the chain to tighten its grip on Ichinose. "Well? Stand down and command your 'Orphans' back, or else—!"

She clenched her fangs. "Or else what? I'll lose my arm?"

The mermaid defiantly pulled the arm back as strongly as she could, so violently she left most of it still attached to the chain, the stump still connected to her bleeding green all over the floor. The Sailor Senshi gasped.

"It'll grow back!" She charged ahead roaring like a lion. "AND IT'S A SMALL PRICE TO PAY FOR YOUR HEAD!"

V prepared herself for a counter attack, but before she could pull it off, something zoomed down from high above, hitting the mermaid on the back of the head and bringing her down with a loud thud.

The Senshi looked down and it, and noticed it was a single red rose, stuck into the mermaid's thick skin, its thorns perforating its upper layer.

Her heart beat much faster. "You...!"

Akira, meanwhile, was stepping out of the fog, coughing as well. With some shock, she saw the monster that had been holding her had been transformed into an ice statue. She blinked and followed V's stare up, to see a tall young man in full evening wear standing at the ledge of one of the largest windows, with another red rose in his hands, face hidden by a mask and a top hat on his head. Her first thought was _What kind of clown is this?_

"Cruel spawn of the depths, deceptive and shameless in your treacherous ways!" he proclaimed grandly. "For long, I have suspected you, and this is the day my suspicions are confirmed! But no longer will you prey on the innocent!"

"Tuxedo Kamen-sama...!" Sailor V swooned.

"Tuxedo?" Akira asked weakly. "He... He isn't exactly wearing a tuxedo. On the subject of clothes, why I am—"

The mermaid struggled back up, swinging her tail in Sailor V's direction, managing to knock her off her feet. "Kill you all... Kill you all, or Master will not forgive me..." she droned grimly, like an animal out of control.

Ami seemed to snap out of her forced sleep for a moment, lifting her head to say with an absent, tired voice, "Akira-chan... Say... Say... 'Shine Aqua Illusion'!"

"What?" Akira understood even less now.

"Just say it!" Artemis and Tuxedo Kamen said at once.

"Oh... Okay!" She slammed her hands ahead, aiming them at the monster looming over Sailor V, mostly by instinct, and then repeated the words. "Shine Aqua Illusion!"

"What? No!" was all Ichinose could say before a large blast of concentrated cold blanketed her and her remaining monsters, encasing them in ice.

Akira stood aghast, seeing what she had just done. "Did I... Was I..." she turned to Ami. "Mizuno-san, what..."

But Ami had just fallen back into unconsciousness now, as out of it as Shirley.

"What is the meaning of all this?" Nyamo-sensei was asking, scared out of her wits. "None of this makes any sense! Have you just killed her? I'll grant you she was about to kill us, but—!"

"It'll take more than that to kill a Dark Agency member," Artemis said before turning his attention back to the blond Senshi. "Venus!"

Sailor V was just looking at the now empty window, sobbing softly. "He's gone...! Always the same! Comes and goes without even saying goodbye! Why is that man so afraid of commitment?!"

"VENUS!" Artemis yelled.

The blonde snapped back to reality. "Huh? Oh, sorry, Artemis. You okay?"

"I'm fine," the cat mumbled, pointing at the still paralyzed and flabbergasted Akira. "It's your new teammate who needs your attention now."

The orange themed Magical Girl skipped over to Akira, patting her shoulders. "Hey there! Great job, Akira-chan! Welcome to the fold!"

"W-Welcome to... what...?" Ookuchi babbled.

Artemis face-pawed. "With some more sensibility, Venus!"

"What do you want me to tell her?" Sailor V protested. "You were just as blunt with me! Okay, sorry, Akira-chan. Looks like you have the ancient power of Sailor Mercury, one of the Moon Princess' honor guards in a past life. As such, now you are a beautiful warrior in a sailor suit, charged with the task of helping me find the current incarnation of the Princess and battling the forces of evil out to destroy us!" She looked back at Artemis and hissed, "Better _now_...?"

Steam was blowing out of Akira's ears.

Artemis pouted and cringed. "The jury's still out on that..."

Nyamo-sensei, now free and kneeling down, covering her privates with her hands, just yelled, "That's all very interesting, but could you please get me something to wear now?!"

* * *

><p>"So, what are we going to do with her?" Akira asked, walking over to Ichinose's frozen body, as Nyamo-sensei covered herself with a curtain, grumbling, and Sailor V safely settled the unconscious Shirley and Ami aside.<p>

The cat sat next to her, making a thoughtful humming sound and then talking again, which still creeped Akira out to no end. "I think we should try to get her out of here, restrain her and question her. We haven't had any chances of getting information directly from the Dark Agency's followers yet."

"What is this Dark Agency you talk about?" the teacher asked, rubbing her running nose. The air around her felt way too chilly.

"The bad guys," Sailor V said.

"Don't tell me," Nyamo deadpanned. "And what is what they do, exactly? I mean, yes, I got everything about taking over the world from us apes, okay, but how do they expect to achieve that by getting girls naked and then ripping the souls out of us?"

"Not our souls. Our Star Seeds," Sailor V explained. "Think of them as... sparkles, relics from other times, when this universe was young and the cosmos was being created. Then, Star Seeds sprouted from the Godwave of Creation and entered all living beings. Star Seeds are a manifestation of the inner powers all of us have, latent in one way or another. But only a few, those of us who are the destined guardians of the planets, have the Star Seeds the Dark Agency is looking for. They want to eliminate us from the start so we can't interfere with their plans of global control. You own one of those perfect Star Seeds, Akira-chan. And so, you're Sailor Mercury, warrior of the first planet in the Solar System—" She paused. "Artemis, Mercury IS the first planet of the Solar System, right?"

"Right," the cat sighed.

Akira and Nyamo only stared at her in awkward, incredulous silence.

The blonde huffed, pointing down at the cat. "You wanna know more? Ask him! I'm still getting used to this, myself!"

"Cat-san..." Sailor Mercury addressed him, trying to forget how ridiculous she felt talking to a cat. How did Chachamaru manage it so easily?

"My name's Artemis. What?"

"If you haven't had the chance to question these enemies so far, how can you be so sure about their goals?"

"Did you hear all of that rant the mermaid gave when she had you prisoner?" the cat asked right back.

"Yes. Why?"

"They do that all the time," Artemis said. "It's like the villains in James Bond movies. You end up putting pieces of their master plan together every time one of them rants and rants and rants..."

"But we still don't know enough," Sailor V piped in.

"Right," Artemis nodded. "Next question?"

"... You watch James Bond movies?" Nyamo-sensei asked.

"Next RELEVANT question?" Artemis asked again.

"Will you step away from that woman right now?" a dry, humorless female voice asked from the door. Akira gasped, seeing her own classmates Tatsumiya Mana and Sakurazaki Setsuna standing right there, as if they had arrived right out of nowhere. The former was clad in her priestess robes, gun in hand, her identically clothed apprentice Shiho standing right behind her holding several paper charms in her hands. The latter had her sword unsheathed, standing in a merciless battle ready pose. Akira panicked, knowing she'd be recognized for sure...

"Ah, it's you guys again," Sailor V crossed her arms. "Too busy brushing your teeth to arrive here on time?"

"Oh, excuse me?" Mana asked. "Who was the one who arrived late the last three times we slew an 'Orphan'?"

Setsuna walked to them challengingly with a harsh, stern expression Akira had never suspected her quiet, unassuming classmate could feature. "We have told you, we don't need unauthorized, unapproved vigilantes on these grounds..." she tensely told Sailor V before looking up and down at Akira. "And now you have an accomplice! Who are you?"

"M-Me?" Akira babbled, baffled about why Setsuna hadn't recognized her. Surely the goggles on her face couldn't hide her face so much... "I... I am... My name is... Sailor Mercury," she finished, trying to sound firm.

"I mean your real name," Setsuna added.

"That's all you need to know about her," Sailor V told her.

Mana, meanwhile, walked to Nyamo's side. "Sensei? Are you feeling well?"

The teacher nodded. "Yes. Yes, I am. It was nothing but a scare, really..."

"That's good to hear," Mana said. "Please forgive me."

"For what?"

"This." Tatsumiya pressed a paper charm against her forehead, and immediately, the woman fainted on her arms, as flaccid as a ragdoll.

"Sensei!" Akira gasped, trying to reach for her, but Sailor V blocked her way with an arm.

"Don't fear for her," Mana said, and Akira could notice an eerie faint glow in her left eye as she looked at her, as if scanning her body. A small, knowing smirk briefly graced the mercenary's lips. "It's just a routine procedure. She'll get her memory of this event erased, as well as Fenette-sempai and Mizuno-san. We'll also take this irregular under custody," she tapped on the block of ice holding Ichinose with the barrel of her gun. "Your services are appreciated, but no longer needed here."

"Are we going to let them walk away?" Setsuna disagreed. "Tatsumiya! Now there are two of them! We cannot turn a blind eye to this anymore! Konoemon-sensei will need to—"

"I agree with Sakurazaki-sempai, Oneesama!" Shiho nodded. "It's our duty to make sure no events escape the Academy's control!"

"Shiho," Mana told her, icily. "If not for them, these girls would have died before we arrived. They've earned this much. We always can bring them in another day... if we're paid enough."

Akira really hoped that last sentence was Mana's idea of a joke. Probably not.

Sailor V grabbed her by an arm and began to walk out with her, walking past the other girls along Artemis. "Come on, Mercury-chan. Don't discuss it. Just let's go. As she said, our job here is done."

"Wait!" Setsuna said. "A classmate of mine, Ookuchi Akira, also belongs to this swimming club. Where is she?"

Akira was still for a moment, paralyzed by fear, until Mana answered for her, quietly. "Oh, yes, her. I met her earlier today. She looked rather ill after the ceremony. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me she felt sick, and she couldn't attend this reunion today."

"Really? I don't remember that!" Shiho said dubiously, not really noticing the intent, analytical way Artemis was staring at her.

"It was while you were having lunch with Tate-sempai." Mana never lost her poker face.

Setsuna seemed to believe that. "I see. That's a relief." And she actually sounded softly relieved. "Now walk away, all three of you!" she told both Senshi and the cat. "Before someone else is arrives here!"

Akira shuddered once she finally felt they were out of sight, following Sailor V to the dorms' area. "That was... scary. Mana-san... Mana-san knows who I am! She must!"

"It wouldn't shock me. She's weird like that," V commented dryly.

Akira looked up and down her. "And you... You are Aino Minako-san, aren't you?"

"That's right."

"It's odd. I barely can recognize you, and not because of the mask. Somehow, you look... all the same, yet so different..."

"It's part of the transformation magic. You'll get used to it," Artemis told her.

"What about Mizuno-san? She's your roommate. Aren't you going to—"

Minako tossed her hands up. "This happens to Ami-chan all the time! Looks like it comes with being a Sailor Senshi's best friend. They'll only erase her memory of this particular incident, anyway."

Akira frowned. "I don't know how you can be so casual about this..."

"Like I said, you get used to this," Artemis added.

"But how did she know what kind of magic I had to use?" Ookuchi insisted.

"I have no idea," Aino admitted, looking troubled about it herself. "There are far too many things we don't know yet. Things we'd better discover soon. And for that... I'm going to need your help."

* * *

><p><em>Elsewhere:<em>

Jadeite, Dark General of the Dark Kingdom and current leader of the Dark Agency, clad in dark clothes befitting his rather dark rank, and such definitely someone not to talk lightly about, uttered a curse, closing his right hand into a tight fist and turning away from the projection mirror. "Idiotic mermaid. Now there are **two** of them for us to fight..."

A demon lurking in the shadows behind him spoke with a hideous voice. "On the other hand, she's pretty hot too..."

"Yes, I believe we could get some rather interesting developments out of this..." another demon agreed.

"Maybe we should allow them all to gather, and then, ahhh... finish them off in a single... strike..." yet another demon offered.

"I could bring a cousin of mine who's an expert at this magical schoolgirl stuff..." a fourth demon suggested."He has tentacles and everything..."

Jadeite covered his own face with a hand. "Damn, why do they stick all the misfits Nephrite won't take with me?"

* * *

><p><em>That night:<em>

"A toast to welcome Sakurako-chan into the fold!" Misa raised her glass of juice as high as she could. "It's as if Lady Luck herself had moved in with us!"

"Yay! Thanks, I'm so flattered!" Shiina giggled as her glass tapped against Misa's. Hakase followed suit rather clumsily, then Misora and Negi, Cocone, and finally, a reluctant Asuna and Chisame.

"So, Sakurako-chan, when are you getting your own Pactio?" Misa tickled her nose with a finger in a playful way. Normally, she'd have been against the mere idea of anyone else kissing her Negi-kun, but she could make an exception for Sakurako or Madoka.

"Don't toss the idea around so lightly!" Chisame snapped. When had her room become Weirdo Central? "Negi-sensei can't be throwing Pactios as if they were candy!"

Misa pouted. "Awww, what's your problem, Chi-chan? Sakurako-chan already knows, what's the matter if she gets a Pactio?"

Shiina laughed a bit awkwardly. "It's okay! I don't want to force Negi-kun into anything..."

"Mm-hmm," Chisame said incredulously. "That's why you planted that kiss on him back there..."

"She did?!" Misora gasped.

"I... I would say you should do it," Hakase suggested.

"For real, Satomi-chan?" Sakurako blinked.

Negi was shocked as well. "Why would you say that...?"

"Well, uh... like Kakizaki-san said, at this point it makes no difference!" the genius blurted out. "If anything, it's better for Sensei. If somehow the word about our knowing his secret gets out, he at least will have an excuse for not erasing our memories if we're his partners. And besides, what if she gets attacked again when she's alone?"

"And you think it'd be hot seeing them kissing again..." Chamo whispered to her, as devilish as he could be. Hakase blushed, scowled, and pressed him against a wall with a foot without even looking at him or standing up.

"We're talking about Sakurako!" Asuna snipped. "She can't be unlucky enough to be attacked by monsters twice, ever!"

"Well..." Sakurako fidgeted, her cheeks glowing pink. "Actually, if Satomi-chan and Negi-kun don't mind... neither do I..."

"Why don't we submit it to voting?" Cocone asked.

"Pro!" Misa lifted a hand.

"Pro!" Hakase added her vote.

"Against!" Misora protested.

"Pro!" Chamo raised a paw.

"Against," Chisame mumbled. "Really, you're treating this as a joke!"

"Yeah, it only should be a last resource. Against," Asuna agreed.

"I abstain," Cocone monotoned.

"Pro," Tsunetsuki Matoi said from behind Chisame.

Chisame turned in shock. "Ack! You were there the whole time?"

"Of course," Matoi said.

"... Pro?" Sakurako asked hopefully.

"Your vote doesn't count!" Asuna told her.

"Why not?" Misa asked her. "You can vote for yourself in any serious competition, from Student Council President to Prime Minister!"

"Negi-kun!" Misora turned to him. "YOU cast the deciding vote!"

"She could be my Ministra, if he doesn't want to—" Cocone said, but sadly went unheard.

"Ah? What? Me?" he babbled. "But... but I... I need more time to think about it...!"

Chisame breathed deeply. "We... We'll respect any decision you make."

Misora opened her mouth to protest, but upon seeing the confused, almost terrified expression on Negi's face, relented grumpily. "Yeah. Sure. We will."

Asuna blinked, then shrugged and looked aside. "Whatever. Not really my business anyway!" Her voice sounded somewhat sour while saying that, but even Chamo had the good sense to avoid pointing that out.

Negi remained perfectly still and silent for a few, okay, a lot of long tense moments before speaking shyly. "Very well... If no one's got a problem with it..."

"Bravo!" Misa tossed her hands up.

"That's my Bro...!" Chamo sniffed loudly, his chest puffing up with pride, already grabbing a piece of chalk apparently from nowhere. "Six already! Only twenty four left to go!"

"Chamo-san!" Hakase chided him.

"Twenty five, actually," Misora droned.

"Huh?" Asuna asked her.

"I'll tell you one of these days," the sister-in-training groaned.

Chisame had a neutral expression on as they all made room for Chamo to draw the circle. She was kinda getting used to this type of decadent incident by now. It was practically a habit. And at least Hakase seemed to be happy... maybe too eager, as a matter of fact, even if she was trying to keep her enthusiasm secret... but the way she already had a notepad in her hands and had even set up a camera told everything. Documentation for scientific purposes, her foot! Hopefully such compromising material would never fall into the wrong hands, like Asakura's...

_Asakura straightened from where she was lying in the bushes spying on Fuuka and Fumika acting strangely. "I smell a mysterious scoop…"_

The girls sat around the circle in expectant silence as Sakurako walked into it with a small nervous smile, and then Negi followed suit, apparently having serious second thoughts. But there was no turning back now.

"Ready, Negi-kun?" the cheerleader asked sweetly.

"N-N..." He saw the eagerness on her face and felt he couldn't let her down now. "... Yes..."

"Good. Then here we go," she breathed very deeply, pulled his face slightly up between her hands, and lowered her head a bit, softly placing a delicate kiss on his lips.

* * *

><p>This kiss was much gentler than Sakurako's previous one, and softer than any of the kisses the girls had ever given him, from Asuna's rough one to Hakase's awkward kissing. The effect was still the same in any case, and the jolt of magical energy was followed by the card's apparition as soon as their lips separated.<p>

Negi caught the card in midair, in a manner that suggested he was actually finding this procedure almost routine by now, and cast the brief spell to produce the copy he handed over to Sakurako, pocketing the original. The girls gathered right behind her to check out the new card. It featured Sakurako in a perfect copy of her cheerleading outfit, smiling widely and lifting a leg up in a way that showed a glimpse of panty, holding a pom-pom high and another one against her hip.

_Siina Sacuraco_

_Hilaratrix Fortunans_

"... My name is badly written!" Sakurako lamented.

"Silly, that's your name in Greek!" Misa laughed.

"Latin!" Chisame and Hakase corrected her.

"What kind of lame power can this card give?" Misora scratched her head. "It's just a cheerleading outfit."

"Well, there's only one way to know..." Chamo tightened a fist, steam blowing off his nose. "Lucky-chan, transform!"

"Okay, but how do I—"

Hakase patiently lifted her card-holding hand up, keeping her arm steady and high. "It is extremely easy. All you need to do is to hold the card like this and pronounce the word 'Adeat'. Do it. It's perfectly safe to do indoors."

"Hakase..." Chisame spoke.

"Yes?"

"You don't need to be THAT close to her for her nude transformation sequence," the hacker said.

"Just let them be," Misa patted her on a shoulder. "You don't have a problem with it, do you, Sakurako-chan?"

Shiina was too busy already anticipating it in nervous ecstasy to even notice the question.

Negi coughed, picked Chamo up from the floor, and began walking out with him. "W-Well, I think that's our cue to leave for the moment..."

"NOOOOOO!" the ermine howled madly, trying to claw free and jump back into the room. "Bro, don't be so thoroughly evil! Don't betray our gender! I implore you...! REMEMBER THE BRO CODE!"

Chisame closed the door behind them and exhaled. "Little creep. Okay, Shiina, you're safe to go now."

Chamo sobbed while looking at the flash of light coming from under the room's door. "Life is simply so cruel... I'M IN DESPAIR! THIS CRUEL LIFE HAS LEFT ME IN DESPAIR!"

_Somewhere, Itoshiki Nozomu looked up from filling his bathtub. "Again, I feel like my only appearances in this chapter are cue gags and getting my catchphrase stolen," he mused. Then he slipped into bathtub, clothes and all, and checked to make sure the fuse was broken, before pulling the string tied around a length of wood holding up a shelf, causing a hair dryer, a toaster, an electric fan and a lava lamp to fall into the water…_

"It's the only thing a gentleman can do," Negi replied very seriously, keeping his arms crossed behind his back.

"I'm no man, much less a gentle one!" Chamo bashed his head against the floor.

Chisame opened the door a few moments afterwards. "It's done. Come in."

"Thanks," the boy walked back inside, seeing Sakurako standing at the middle of the room in her new cheerleading Pactio outfit, surrounded by the other Ministra and Cocone.

"You look positively radiant!" Hakase couldn't help but praise.

"Simply gorgeous!" Misa agreed.

"Thank you, girls..." Sakurako twirled around, posing for Negi. "What do think, Negi-kun? Does it look cute?"

"Errr... Errr, yes... very..." he nodded, a pink shade running down his nose and covering his cheeks. That angle she was standing at definitely showed a lot of leg.

"It's the same thing she always wears..." Misora groaned again.

"Yeah, yeah, it's very pretty, what does it do?" Asuna waved a hand against the other. "Those pom-poms are the Artifact, right? Then use them. Wave 'em around, do a little cheer, and let's see what happens..."

Sakurako looked doubtful. "But what if I hurt someone? If they shoot death rays or acid spraying bullets?"

"They're pom-poms! How could they possibly be used as death weapons?!" Asuna said.

Chisame had a nervous expression now. "I dunno, she might have a point. You never know with these weird magical things..."

Tentatively, Sakurako held a pom-pom up and weakly waved it in Chamo's direction. "WHY ME?!" the ermine screamed.

"Chamo-san, Chamo-san, rah, rah, rah," the girl spoke with some fearful reluctance.

The ermine stiffened up suddenly.

"You okay?" Chisame asked him with some caution.

A thin line of blood trickled down his nose, his eyes fixed on them.

"Oh my God, you've killed him," Misora gasped. "No huge loss, true, but still—!"

"Chamo-kun!" Negi was aghast. "Tell me something! Anything!"

"I'm..." he babbled, "I am... the luckiest ermine in the world..."

"Eh?" Asuna's face curved down into a scowl.

Chamo laughed dumbly, his gaze going back and forth between the girls. "I can see right through...! Right through...!"

Veins popped up on the heads of Chisame, Asuna, Misa and Misora as they instinctively realized what he meant.

A moment later, he was savagely mobbed.

"SO WORTH IT...!"

Two hours later, Satomi sat on her bed comparing her notes. "Well, after using the Artifact on all of us, I believe I can safely conclude it works by emitting some sort of energy granting the target an 'impossible good fortune' aura that allows some of our wildest and unlikeliest longings to become true, even if only for spans of five minutes. Only that would explain why Chamo-san received X-Ray vision that only affected female's clothes, I gained ultimate scientific knowledge... again... briefly, Negi-sensei had that peculiar vision about his father, Chisame's computers became those... strongly interesting machines..., and when Sakurako-chan used it on herself, well... I had to be restrained by all of you..."

Shiina sighed, fixing her hair and her still disarrayed clothes. "All you had to do was to give us some private time..."

"As soon as you can afford a hotel room!" Chisame barked.

"What a weird Artifact," Misora pondered. "It's like some random super-power lottery of what we may want at any given time, no guarantees of what we'll get out of all our desires. Like low level reality warping? Still very powerful, but too unpredictable, and lasting only a short time..."

"Short?" Asuna blinked and looked at her wristwatch. "Crap, now I remember! I promised Kono-chan I'd be here only a short time! And now it's almost midnight! She must be horribly worried!"

"Yeah, same thing for Madoka," Misa said. "She isn't the type to keep on calling after us, but she must be feeling all home alone..."

_Konoka snuggled to her Setsuna Love Pillow, purring happily_,_her hips thrusting as she humped the pillow to... satisfaction. "Oh, Set-chan... I only can pull you out of the closet when Asuna-chan isn't here... If only I could convince her to join us..."_

_Meanwhile, Madoka rolled on her bed uneasily. "I almost feel like I'm lacking something..." she mused. "Nah, couldn't have been important if I'd forgotten." She reached for a "Hakase Special Electric-Motor Driven Phallic Sexual Recreational Device", her thoughts turning to a certain boy…_

* * *

><p><em>Urahara's Shop.<em>

_The next morning._

Tessai towered over Jinta's small cowering frame, holding the bottle of _Good Fortune Paradise_ in a gigantic hand. "And you gave that young maid... the bottle of the lust potion...?"

"I-I-I didn't give her anything!" the boy stammered. "She took the wrong bottle while I... was, uhh... too busy... with something extremely important..."

Ururu suddenly remembered she had a lot of work to do at the kitchen, cooking... anything, really... and slipped away in complete silence.

Tessai's battle aura swirled around him as he loomed over Jinta even more. "How many times do we have to tell you videogames are forbidden during work hours...?"

Urahara whistled, finishing with his luggage and heading for the front door. "Well, I leave everything in your able hands! I just remembered I have_ even more urgent business _out of town right now!"

"Urahara-dono!" Tessai gasped. "Are you abandoning us to our own luck?"

"Of course not!" the shopkeeper said. "I left you the number of a good lawyer on the table! I'm sure not even the Yukihiro Zaibatsu will be able to hire someone better..."

"... You haven't been the same ever since Kakizaki-dono did that to you, Urahara-dono," the massive man pointed out.

"Girls from that class are really terrifying opponents. Make sure to remember that," his boss told him.

Jinta groaned. "Eh, for all we know, nothing happened. That maid knows how to read the label. And no one else would be stupid enough to drink it without knowing what it was..."

Urahara and Tessai spun their eyes around, waiting for a rolling of ominous thunder. When one didn't come, Urahara began smoking nervously, visibly confused and even somewhat rattled. "Darn it, the world sure is working strangely of late. I'm sure a gag has just been orphaned from its proper punchline…"

* * *

><p><strong>To be Continued<strong>.


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